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Because it feels right

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Ever since that gremlin of a little brother Arishima has arrived at the Library, Doppo hasn't been able to share five minutes, hell , even five seconds, of intimacy with him. Satomi Ton is always there, in between, throwing ugly looks at Doppo and acting all innocent when Arishima is looking. Does Satomi hate him because of his literature faction or because he's fucking his big brother? Probably both. Doppo plays it cool though, he can't show his frustrated self at the enemy. He still gets to steal some light kisses from Arishima when he knows Satomi is looking. Oh dear, to see the look in his face when that happens! Priceless.

It’s not enough though. Doppo wants, needs , more than simple stolen kisses.

He’s tired of controlling the cringe he feels everytime he hears a Takeo-nii! when he's near Arishima, do not let it show on your face, smile! He swears to God if he has to hear that annoying voice of his again interrupting them, Doppo is going to grab that little shit and throw him at the courtyard pond and feed him to whatever mysterious green creature apparently lives in there. Let's hope the creature doesn't die from food poisoning if that ever happens.

… Ok, not everything is that bad with Satomi around. Arishima is smiling way more than before and it's clearly because of his brother's presence. Doppo knows their relationship was kind of distant before Arishima passed away. So, for the man to finally have a nice and happy relationship with one of his brothers in this second given chance at living, it's truly an amazing thing.

Whatever negative emotion Doppo might feel for not being the cause of Arishima smiling more, it's just something he needs to cope with. Yeah, it’s called jealousy. Yeah, it’s a bitch.

Anyways!

Arishima, why couldn't you have a more… likeable little brother?

Doppo is now doing some of the mundane work in the Library. Putting some books in order after closing hours, a good task to keep his mind away from the Negative Feel He Won’t Name Again and his sexual frustration. There's nobody around because it's a Saturday and if there isn't some urgent tainted matter, most of the authors go outside to have a good time and enjoy the wonders of the present time. Doppo could be doing that too, but he's not in the mood. He just wants to sigh aloud  without having people asking him if something is wrong and sulk in peace around books while hating on A Certain Little Brother .

He also wants to be with Arishima and…

"Doppo-san"

And see how his normally calmed face becomes a mess under the touch of his hands. Listen to how Arishima says his name while begging for more. Doppo not being able to take it anymore and just giving the other man what he wants because in that moment he just exists to please Arishima.

"... Doppo-san? Are you listening?"

And now he's hard. Great.

"..."

He should go back to his room. It's late, the lights in the Library have been turned off probably hours ago. Doppo is using one of those emergency portable lamps, taking it from a red box in the wall saying In case of emergency break the glass . He doesn't need to break the glass because he has the key to open it. No, he didn't steal it. Yes, everyone has a key for it, courtesy of the Librarian, thank you. He'll recharge it and put it back later.

Doppo puts the last book he’s holding in its place. There are some books left in the trolley he picked to carry them but whatever, tomorrow another person can take those to arrange them. He’s ready to turn around and leave when suddenly a hand lays down on his left shoulder, making him jump a little and oh God did I yell? What was that!? Such an embarrassing reaction…! Well, that helped with his growing problem at least.

Doppo feels the hand leave his shoulder and then he hears a voice he could recognize everywhere… chuckling. He almost breaks his neck with how fast he turns around.

“Arishima, what are you doing here? Also, don’t laugh! You scared me!”

Don’t laugh! , it’s what he says. But Arishima’s chuckle is cute and he makes it even cuter when he tries to hide it with his hand. Doppo’s heart is doing some weird flips, having to witness such a sight. Let’s hope Mori-sensei has time for an extra appointment in his full agenda.

“S-sorry… I can’t h-help it.”

And he keeps with the giggling! That just makes me want to kiss you! And not letting you go ever! But I can’t because Satomi probably will…”

Wait a second. If he was in here, which it doesn’t seem so, the little shit would have already appeared.

Makes sense, it’s way too late, the library is closed, what Doppo is doing right now it’s called trespassing, and apparently Arishima is doing that now too. Woah, is he a bad influence?

Details. What’s important right now it’s that they are alone. Fucking finally.

Doppo’s switch flips. He moves the hand Arishima covers his face with by grabbing his wrist and with his free hand, slowly caresses Arishima’s cheek.

Arishima isn’t laughing anymore and he’s looking directly into Doppo’s eyes. Doppo can see how Arishima wants this the same way as he. Perfect. It’s time to recover all their missed time together.

The hand Doppo has on Arishima’s cheek moves towards the back of his head and pulls him into a kiss.

Doppo missed this so much. Missed Him so much. He presses his body into Arishima’s so not even the air can fit between them. He can feel how Arishima lets a small moan escape through their kiss. If Doppo had doubts about doing this in the Library, or if Arishima would have shown some signal he was against continuing what they’re doing, they would have stopped earlier. Now Doppo definitely isn’t going to let him go after that reaction. As if Arishima agrees with him, their kiss deepens even more.

Having all of you only for myself, the way it’s supposed to be.

//

The lamp Doppo was using has been long forgotten and discharged in the corner he left it. Now the light from dawn is entering through the Library’s windows. How much time they were lost in each other’s touch, Takeo doesn’t know. Doesn’t care either.

He’s sitting on the floor besides Doppo, with the bookshelves supporting their backs. He’s dozing off on Doppo’s shoulder while looking at their interlaced fingers laying between them. Doppo is moving his thumb over his in a soothing way. Just being together like this, it feels so nice... 

Takeo sometimes doubts this is real.

“I still don’t know what you were doing here.”

Oh, that. Takeo lifts his head so he doesn’t fall asleep while answering.

“I fell asleep while reading. I woke up and it was dark already. I saw a light coming from between some shelves. I thought it was weird so I went to check. It was Doppo-san misusing an emergency lamp.”

“Excuse you? For me it was an emergency.”

“... If you say so.”

Takeo knows Doppo has some stuff on his mind. The way he was sighing before he reached with his hand. How Doppo looked at him, kissed him, held him. It was more intense than usual. Yeah it’s been a while since they were together, but Takeo senses there’s another factor at work. He wants to ask but if Doppo hasn’t said anything, it’s because he doesn’t want to talk about it. Takeo doesn’t want to trouble him with useless questions.

He lays his head on Doppo’s shoulder again. Takeo fits so nicely, like he’s meant to be in there.

He starts to doze off again, but before falling asleep, Takeo hopes that whatever Doppo’s concern is, it doesn’t end in the way of… this thing they have. So many good things have happened to him since he arrived at the Library, he can’t help but think he’s going to lose them because he just doesn’t deserve it. Can I be selfish for once? Can I wish for this to last?

Doppo shifts a bit and places a light kiss on Takeo’s hair. The hold on his hand gets tighter. He thinks he hears Doppo murmur something, Takeo isn’t sure. It’s the last thing he remembers before falling asleep.

//

Maybe in the past many things didn’t work for him. Maybe this thing won’t work for them in the future. But it’s working for them right now and that’s all that matters to Doppo. He kisses Arishima’s head, and for some reason he needs to share what he feels right now. He whispers his next words, careful, because he knows Arishima already fell asleep.

“I don’t care who gets between us, I won’t let you go.”

It’s what feels right for him, so he’ll keep going forward.