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a misgiving

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The sense of warmth was unfamiliar to Ahsoka, how long had it been since she felt something so comforting? The answer was far too long, so much that it felt foreign to her. So used to the cold and hard metal tables, unlike the soft firm fabric she was laying on. 

The air around her was different as well, the harshness of the anger, hate and darkness was gone. Instead there was safety, love and light. Again it felt foreign to her, she hadn’t felt anything like this since...she can’t remember when. But she knows it’s been a long time since she had. 

Her body hurts as she moves but not as much as it did before, she can feel something move against her arm, something plastic. She can pick up the sound of a heartbeat on a monitor, was it hers? 

Panic began to fill her, too many times she had been hooked up and all we’re anything but nice. Despite the warmth and other positive feelings she felt wherever she was, she wouldn’t let it drop her guard. No she had done that many times before and paid the price, if she did it again then-

Her heart rate picked up and her body began to thrash, she didn’t want to open her eyes, afraid to know if she was in the dreadful room again. She winced as she felt the plastic tub scratch against her skin and arms hitting against metal besides her. She didn’t want to feel the pain again, the sharp jabs on needles and the mask that made her drowsy. 

She didn’t want to be hurt again, she-


Her body froze, a gasp coming from her lips. She didn’t just imagine that did she? That...that was the voice of her master, the man who had protected and saved her life many times. But no that can’t be him, it had been so long since she had seen him and heard his voice. No this was another trick to let her guard down, to play on her to hurt her more.

She wouldn’t fall for it no matter how desperately she wanted it to be true, she would not fall for lies again.

Her body moved again, determined to get out. But then she felt arms on her wrists stopping her, her fear and panic increased. She knew this feeling all too well now and wanted it to stop, to not come true.

“Ahsoka!” The voice came again and she couldn’t help but freeze. “Ahsoka! It’s me, Anakin!”

Her eyes shot open, a white light glared above her that made her wince and turn her head away. She could faintly hear someone demanding to turn them down, seconds later they dimmed greatly, enough for Ahsoka to feel comfortable and look back above her.

Her breath hitched at the sight before her, a man with brown hair reaching just past his ears and his shining blue eyes, looking down on her with so much concern and worry. Her body relaxed and she felt the hands - his hands, let go of her. Her eyes wander over his face, trying to see if he was real or not. 

Gingerly she raised a hand, ignoring the small amount of pain as she reached up and gently touched his cheek. Slowly cupping it and rubbing the tip of her fingers and thumb along the skin, the heat hitting against her hand.

She let out a breathless gasp as she realised that this wasn’t a trick, realising that was in fact real - he was real. Tears gathered at her eyes and she looked at the man above her, who his robotic hand gently places over hers, rubbing against her skin softly.

“Anakin…” It was breathless and quiet, but loud to them. 

His eyes now full of relief and tears, his smile dazzled.

“Hey there Snips.”

She cried, it had been too long since she heard that terrible nickname, heard his voice and seen him. He didn’t stop her and let his own tears fall, leaving down so he could wrap his arms around her gently, and hug her. It only made her cry more..

It had been too long.

“We finally found you.” He says against her shoulder, it was muffled but she heard it loud and clear. “Your finally home.”

She then sobbed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and fists her hands into his robes. She couldn’t believe that this was happening, that this was real. Anakin was here, he had saved her and brought her back home - back to safety. 

She didn’t know how long they stayed like this, hugging each other desperately, She could feel it in him that he missed her, it filled their bond within the Force. She let him know how much she missed him, and she felt his tears quicken. Eventually, despite her protests she pushes him away gently, looking up at him one more to the amount of happiness in his eyes.

She didn’t want to pull away from him, but she needed answers. “Where...Where am I?”

“The Halls of Healing.” He replied, and she stiffened. He brought her back to the Jedi Temple, the place she walked away from, the place that held the people that betrayed her. This was the last place she wanted to be, the last place she thought of in her prays and dreams to be somewhere safe. 

She wasn’t angry at him, logically this was the best place to be to get medical treatment from what she went through. She didn’t know how long it would take for her to heal, but as soon as it’s over she’ll leave this place. 

Anakin could sense that within her. “I know you don’t want to be here but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to help you. There’s no better place to help you except here.”

She supposed that’s true, but that still doesn’t stop the discomfort she feels knowing that’s in the Jedi Temple. It would have to do for now, until she’s better and back on her feet.

She decides to ask more questions and get her mind off where she is. “How long have I been out?”

“A few days.” He said with worry. “When...when we found you, your body wasn’t in good condition. We had to be careful with holding you and placing you down, as well as putting these on you.” He mentioned towards the plastic tubs on her arms. “How do you feel?”

“Hurts.” She winced. “When I move. With the lights.”

He nods, as if expecting that answer. “It’ll take some time but it’ll go, the light quicker.”

She nods, knowing that to be true. “How long,” she begins to ask again. “How long since...since I’ve been gone?”

He looks apologetic at her. “We don’t know. After you...left,” She should hear the hurt in his voice, she knew he hated it when she left. She hated to leave him, he was the only one who stood by her with everything that happened, leaving him was the hardest thing she ever had to do. “We didn’t know what happened to you, I...I wanted to give you space like you said, to sort things out on your own. I got worried when I didn’t hear from you in a couple of months and...decided to track you down, to make sure that you were alright.”

He really did that? Normally she would have been angry at him for tracking her, but right now she felt touched. “I tracked you down to the underworld and to the Martez sisters, I asked them about you and they said that you had been living with them since you left. But then one day you just...disappeared.” He was disturbed by what he found and Ahsoka pressed him to continue. “I continued to track you down, exploring every detail I could find. Master Plo also helped me and we worked together along with Rex.”

Oh, she had forgotten about Plo Koon and Rex. She didn’t know what to feel about Plo Koon, he had found her and brought her to the temple at a young age, the two had a close bond and she coils count of him for anything. She didn’t know what he did for her during her trial, but he was the only one along with Anakin to apologise. She sended his guilt over what happened and felt a small bit of joy when he called her with the nickname he gave her so dearly. 

She had missed Rex just as much as she missed Anakin. Again she didn’t know the part he played in her trial except that he was never part of the batch of clones to go after her until she escaped prison, but she felt his fear and worry for her. He didn’t believe what she was accused of and that was enough for her.

“Then after so many months of searching, we finally found you.” His voice brought her out of her thoughts. “On Mustafar where we found those younglings a year or so ago, we thought the facility had been destroyed. But it wasn’t.” His were were now downcast and it made her worry, but she still wanted to know. “There was another facility, deep underground. It was full of the dark side, but we kept going. There were medical droids everywhere like last time but only one person they were tending to.”

Anakin took a deep breath and leaned up slightly, holding her hands in his and started into her eyes. “Ahsoka, this is going to be painful to hear. I myself refused to believe it until I saw the datapad and your scans.”

She could feel it, the words he would tell her would change her life forever. She was scared, but knew that she needed to know.

She brushed her fingers against the thumb near his skin and hardened her eyes slightly. “Tell me.”

He closes his eyes, taking another deep breath before opening them again. “Ahsoka,”  He says her name with such care. “Someone, possibly the person we felt when rescuing the younglings, has put something in you to make you…”

He had a hard time continuing, afraid of telling her. It scared her but she was determined. To show this she pushed him off her gently and sat up, wincing at the pain but continued. His hands immediately separated, one against her back and the other holding one of hers.

“Anakin,” Her voice was desperate. “Please tell me.”

He swallows and grips her hand. “Ahsoka...your pregnant.”