“Uh, hey, Jack.”
Dean lifted his drooping eyes from the laptop screen as Jack walked--no, bounded --over to the long table Dean was sitting at in the center of the Bunker. He had a plated sandwich in his hands and a lot more pep in his step than Dean could comprehend this late in the evening. He slid into the seat across from the hunter and placed the sandwich down in front of Dean, pulling a napkin out of his pocket and setting it down as well.
“Here you go,” Jack smiled.
“Oh, huh, thanks, kid. What are you still doing up?”
Dean didn’t even realize he was hungry until he laid eyes on the--ooh--PB & J, sizing it up like a pin-up model.
“I couldn’t sleep. I was wondering, can we have ‘The Talk’ now, Dean?”
Dean rubbed at his darkened eyes, trying to follow what the kid was going on about.
“Wha? Talk about what?” Dean took a sip of the beer beside him, mouth ticking at how flat it had gone.
“The Talk. About the sex. I want to know how it works and you said you’d tell me,” Jack replied simply.
Dean sputtered, trying to cough up the beer that’d taken a wrong turn somewhere.
“I-- What ?”
Jack narrowed his eyes at the hunter, his head doing a slight inquisitive tilt. God, are you sure this boy is Lucifer’s and not freakin’ Cas’s?
“When we were in the diner for the necromancer case you told me that you would give me ‘The Talk’,” he said, adding little air quotes at his chest for good measure, “And I’d like to better understand the nature of human love and sexuality.”
“I, uh, I did?”
“I don’t know, kid. Maybe you should talk to Cas about all… that .”
As if Dean simply saying Cas’s name was enough to summon him these days, Castiel rounded the corner, a stack of books in hand.
“Talk to me about what? Why aren’t you in bed, Jack?” Cas asked.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He spared a glance where the two were sitting at the table, catching the hunter’s eye. His trench coat fluttered in his wake as he moved smoothly--Cas was always so damn graceful about everything--over to the bookshelf to meticulously put his selections back in their place. Dean felt his shoulders slump in relief.
Right on time, buddy.
“Jack here wants to know about The Birds & The Bees. I said that you’re probably the better one to ask about that,” Dean said.
“Why would Cas be more knowledgeable in the practice of human sexuality when he is an angel and you are human?” Jack’s brow furrowed.
Dean could practically hear the smirk in Cas’s voice when he added, “He has a point, Dean.”
“Well, Cas’s been around way longer than me, for starters,” Dean ventured, shooting the back of that sleek tan coat before returning his attention back to Jack, “Plus-- Plus , he can probably tell you how they get it on in every species,” Dean chuckled as he took another sip.
“That may be so but I’m not as well... versed in human sexual practices as you are,” Cas said.
Though Cas's inflection barely changed, Dean knew full well that Sassy Cas was making an appearance. Dean whipped around to give the angel a real glare this time but could only muster a slightly pinched expression when the angel raised a wry eyebrow at him. Okay, so maybeCas wasn’t necessarily wrong--but still .
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?’
“Do you mean Dean was promiscuous?” Jack asked.
“Hey! So you can’t think of a four-letter word for the crossword when I need it but ‘promiscuous’ you know! A-And what do you mean ‘was’?! I still am , baby!” Dean could practically feel Cas’s eye roll as the angel abandoned the bookshelf and came to lean against one of the bunker’s pillars behind Dean, “I may not get out there, ya know, a whole lot but we’ve had freakin’ bigger fish to fry , alright? So excuuuse me!”
Maybe the last part of that came out a little more half-hearted than it should’ve but there wasn’t much he could do about that now. He scooched back his chair, swinging his feet up onto the table, nursing his beer, and definitely did not pout.
“Even aside from the fact that Dean has been sexually intimate with numerous partners--” Cas began.
“Dude! Gross!” Dean crossed his arms a little tighter against his chest.
“Most importantly, he is a human, like you said. And I don’t presume to fully understand humanity, as beautiful and glorious as I might find it. Dean has made a wonderful teacher in my path to understanding this world, and I trust that he will make a good guide for you as well.”
Dean stared at the angel for a moment, meeting his eyes, even after all these years Cas could still leave him at a loss for words. How was that possible? Don’t be a creeper, quit staring, Winchester.
“So you do agree. Dean would be the best person to give me ‘The Talk’?”
“Yes, I think so,” the slight quirk of Cas’s lip was not lost on Dean. Even if the feathery bastard had a point and had been all flattering about it, Dean didn’t have to like them ganging up on him like that.
“I don’t know, Jack…” Dean scrubbed at the slight stubble on his cheek.
“Please, Dean? I’m very curious.”
Son of a bitch! What’s with the puppy eyes around here? First it was Sammy, then Cas! How did Jack already know how to get Dean all wrapped around his finger like that?
“Ugh, fine,” Dean swung his feet down from the table and gestured to Cas, “but you’re staying right here. If I have to suffer through this, so do you.”
Cas silently took his seat beside Dean, always sitting closer than either Sammy, Jack, or even Mom for that matter did. The angel fixed his gaze on Dean and nodded for him the proceed. Dean hunched his shoulders at the gnawing feeling of both sets of almost-unblinking eyes on him. He took the last bite of the sandwich, and brushed the crumbs off his pants. This is gonna be a long one.
“Alright, buddy, what do you want to know?”
Without missing a beat, Jack grinned and pulled a folded piece of paper from his flannel pocket and eagerly held it in front of him.
“My first question: What exactly is ‘self-fellatio’?”
Dean had made the mistake of taking a swig of his beer yet again.
“W- What ?!”
Dean’s eyes leaked as he coughed. Alright, maybe drinking something was gonna be a no-go for this conversation. He scooched the bottle out of his reach and glanced over to Cas. Even Cas’s eyebrows had risen at the question.
“Are you hearing this?!” Dean Winchester did not squeak at the angel.
“What’s wrong?” There Jack went again with that head tilt.
“ ‘What’s wr--’ ? Where did you even hear that word?!”
“I was watching a show that Netflix had recommended to me called ‘Nip/Tuck’, and one man had a problem with ‘self-fellatio’. And while it was implied to be a sexual position I did not understand the appeal of it?”
“Jesus--” He twisted in his chair to Cas who was way too calm about all this, “You are hearing this aren’t you? I’m not going completely Cocoa Puffs, right?!”
“Dean--” Cas tried
“How am I supposed to answer that, Cas?!” Dean’s arms flailed, almost sending the abandoned bottle flying.
Cas’s face had recovered, but his brow still furrowed slightly as he ran a rather exasperated hand over the back of his neck. He reminded Dean of a ant under a magnifying glass.
“Perhaps we should skip that question for now, Jack.”
Undeterred, and nearly unphased, Jack simply shrugged and moved on to whT appeared to be his next bullet-point.
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, and braced for impact.
“Second question: What is ‘doggy-style’? Does it involve dogs?”
“Oh my God,” Dean slumped back into his chair, a cherry-red blush creeping up his cheeks, “Cas...” he implored the angel, “I just--I don’t got nothing for that.”
With a holy-roll of his eyes, Cas sighed, “No, it does not involve dogs. It is when two people have sexual intercourse with the person...um, penetra ting positioned behind the penetra ted so they end up facing the same direction. Moving on. Next question, please.”
Dean played with a button on his shirt because...reasons. And if Cas could kindly stop saying any form of the word ‘penetrate’ Dean would happily send the guy a fruit basket.
“Oh! So they both can watch X-Files!” Jack exclaimed.
Dean’s hand slid up his tired face.
“Did you just ‘Bad Touch’ this whole conversation?” Dean leaned forward in his seat, “Alright, new Bunker rule: No more listening to The Bloodhound Gang. Capisce?”
“Capisce,” Jack nodded all too seriously.
“Alright, keep ‘em coming,” Dean said, tapping his knuckles on the table.
“Next question: What is sexual intercourse?”
“That’s the order you decided to ask those in? I mean, really?! ” Dean exclaimed.
“ Dean... ” Cas grumbled.
Dean knew a warning shot when he heard one.
“Alright, fine,” Dean took a deep breath, “Okay, look...so sex is when a guy and a gal both...well, they really dig each other and--”
“Does it have to be a man and a woman? How about two women?”
“Well that sounds like a wild Friday night,” Dean barked out with a laugh.
Dean’s joke was only met with a put-upon sigh from Cas and squinty eyes from Jack. Dean knew he was hilarious and screw them all for not knowing comedy gold when they heard it.
“What about two men?” Jack asked all innocent, like it was no big deal when it really, really was a big fucking deal.
“Uh, huh,” Dean gulped, a tight smile twitched at his lips, “I mean...yeah sure, that’s still sex. Mechanics just, uh, work a little different.”
“Explain,” Jack said.
Dean whipped his head to Cas, but that did not help his thoughts get anymore organized. Not when the angel was pinning him to his seat with those those fucking eyes that Dean was pretty were looking straight into his soul. He silently begged Cas to step in and please don’t make me literally explain straight sex and gay sex out loud to our two-year-old . But Cas just kept staring so Dean just kept squirming. Both angels now squinting their baby blues at him and tilting their heads in tandem.
Take it easy, Winchester.
“Um, okay. So, uh, here’s how it goes, alright? Let’s just go with a man and a woman for a sec. So, when a man and a woman both wanna get down and dirty--”
“You mean have sex?”
“Yeah, when they both wanna...have sex--oh, and sidenote , that’s an important factor, okay? They both have to want to have sex. Comprende? If there ever comes a point where you...well, you know...just make sure everyone’s on the same page? Alright? If you want everyone to have a good ol’ time, make sure that the girl you’re with--”
“Or guy,” Jack amended.
“Um… ’guy’ ?” Dean croaked, jaw going slack without his consent, “You, uh...like guys ?” Well that came way the fuck out of left field...
“If I were to, hypothetically, copulate with another person I don’t believe the sex or gender of that person would matter to me. All humans are beautiful in the eyes of creation,” Jack’s easy smile suddenly drooping into a little frown when Dean’s remained wide-eyed and mute, “Why? Is that wrong?”
Jack’s pleading puppy eyes looked expectantly between Dean and Cas. And if glares could kill then Dean would be dead--yet again--from the lasers shooting out of Cas’s dark eyes.
“No, Jack, that’s not wrong,” Cas scooched forward in his seat and patted Jack’s forearm, “What Dean is trying to say is that consent from your partner before proceeding in any sexual activities is important. No matter who your partner is... right, Dean ?”
“Uh, um...yeah…consent’s good--”
“Eloquent,” Cas huffed.
“Guys or gals--” Dean muttered, nodding his head far more than necessary.
“Or genderless persons?”
“Yes, persons with varying genders or lacking genders as well,” Cas cut in before Dean even had the chance to dig himself into a hole.
“I understand, continue,” Jack said, once again smiling his gap-toothed grin at Dean.
“Yeah, uh…” Dean cleared his throat, trying to get his train of thought back on the its rails, “So, basically, sex is when a man puts his coc--”
“ Dean !” Dean held his hands up at the angel when Cas yelped in his smiting voice.
“Sorry, sorry! It’s basically when a dude puts his penis into a woman’s hoo-ha--”
“‘ Hoo-ha ’?” Jack bit back a smile.
“He means ‘vagina’,” Cas sighed, far more nonchalant than Dean cared for.
How come Cas was the one saying sexy words like ‘vagina’ but Dean’s face red enough for the both of them?
“Ah. Okay, I understand now,” Jack nodded, “So, what about if neither person has a penis?”
This is one, Dean had seen plenty of porn of, “Oh! I got this one, so if two chicks wanna go at it they can either use their fingers or a fake dick for the, uh, the whole ‘penetration’ part.”
“A ‘fake dick’?” Dean snorted at how absolutely unnerving it was to hear those words come out of the kid’s mouth. If he were fully human he’d be wearing Pull-Ups to bed, for fuck’s sake!
“Alright, that’s where I draw the line. Just look up ‘dildos’ online, alright? We are not talking about that.”
Jack very seriously grabbed the pen by Dean’s abandoned computer and hovered over the corner of his list, “How do you spell that?”
Dean took in a long-suffering breath, keeping his eyes closed.
“Got it. Now what about if it’s sex between two people with penises? Or would it be ‘ Peni’ ?”
“Uhh...” Dean’s tongue felt too heavy in his mouth and he could feel the heat in his cheeks rising up again. He’s in his freakin’ 40s , he should be able to talk about this shit without sounding like some kinda school-marm prude!
“It is essentially the same process, except instead of vaginal penetration it is...anal penetration,” Cas said almost blandly. Almost being the key word here because, yep, the angel was actually shifting a little in his seat. Dean ran a hand over his lips and promptly decided that off-in-the-corner-somewhere was the safest place to stare.
If Cas says anything even remotely close to ‘penetrate this’ or ‘penetration that’ one more time I’m heading for the door and I’m not looking back.
“But you’d need lube for butt stuff,” Dean hadn’t even realized the words had left his mouth until he had one and a half angels looking at him with matching quirked eyebrows.
Okay...so...maybe I’ve seen a few of those pornos, too.
“Lube?” Jack asked.
“Personal lubricant,” Castiel clarified, not taking his perplexed eyes off Dean. Dean could definitely feel the trickle of sweat drenching his undershirt now. All angelic eyes were welcome to kindly look the fuck elsewhere now before took a rifle out back and put himself out of his misery.
“I see. That makes sense,” Jack nodded at that answer and returned to his list, Dean licked dry lips and tightened his hold on the edge of the table,“Next question: What is love?”
Dean let out a sigh and let himself sit more comfortably in his wooden chair. For a second there, he was worried Jack was gonna start asking about shit like BDSM or furries. The hunter leaned in, picking at the label of the beer bottle and letting a smile play at his lips.
“Thank God , alright, well, Jack, there’s a lot of different kinds of love.”
“Falling into the categories of either romantic or platonic love, generally,” Cas added, Dean could see that his shoulders too seemed to have lowered from his ears.
“Yeah,” Dean said, “See, since Sam’s my brother I love him in a platonic way. I love him, but ain’t no way in hell I’d take him on a date,” Dean shuddered a little at even the thought. “We just love each other like brothers.”
“So, do you love me in a platonic way then, Dean?” Jack asked, face on the verge of smiling yet again and looking so goddamn squishy .
“Huh, I mean,” Now the knots in his stomach finally untwisted all the way and he felt a swoop of affection for the kid even if he couldn’t quite meet his eyes, “You’re...our kid, bud. ‘Course I love ya.”
Without even glancing up, Dean could practically feel the adoration radiating off of Jack like a fucking Care Bear. The kid was so easy to please and it made Dean’s smile twitch a little wider as he continued looking at the table, fingers continuing to fidget with the beer label.
Over the many years of knowing the holy roller beside him, Dean liked to think he’d developed a finely-tuned Cas-dar. A sixth sense which was now going crazy in his brain as he felt the familiar warmth of Cas’s relentless gaze on him. Only to be joined by Cas’s even warmer hand gripping his shoulder lightly before falling away again. Since when had Dean gotten all touchy-feely and gooey like his darling sister Samantha?
“So, what is romantic love, then?” Jack pressed on.
‘Well, I guess it’s more of a physical thing. Like, thinking a girls’ hair is pretty,” Dean then quickly swooped in to add, “Or a guy’s, y’know, if that’s what you’re into.”
Dean glanced at Cas who’s approving almost-smile told the hunter he’d made the right move.
“So it’s romantic if you find someone objectively attractive?”
“Huh, yes and no. You generally don’t just find them objectively attractive. Something about them really gets your engine going, ya know?”
Dean’s eyes flitted to Cas once again. He must be getting better at this whole being-a-father-figure-to-the-half-angel-in- your -life thing ‘cause Cas was looking pretty damn proud of the hunter so far. And Dean had to admit, once his own eyes locked onto that pride glimmering like a shiny rock in a stream, it was a little hard to look away.
“And, romantic love--it leads to the sex?” Jack said.
“It’s just ‘sex’, buddy,” Dean chuckled, “Not ‘the sex’, okay? And, yeah, it does if you do it right.”
“How do you know if it’s done ‘right’?”
Could he really explain that? Had he himself ever really ‘done it right’? There’d certainly been a lot of people he’d lusted after, sure, but loved? He could count on one hand the people he actually trusted in the world, most all of which were currently under the same roof as him. But as far as the romance department was concerned there had been Jo, but it had never worked right. They were all well and flirty together, but it wasn’t... real . And then she was killed before they ever got a chance to find out if it’d become real. Then there was Lisa...but that wasn’t really love love. That had been stability love. He’d had the beautiful girlfriend and the promise of fatherhood--all the normal things he’d idealized. But he could never get comfortable, always squirming. When he really thought about it, this--the Bunker, the kid, Sammy, Cas--this was a bigger slice of that apple pie life than Dean had ever dared dream of--
The thick rumble of Cas’s voice came out of nowhere and broke Dean from his thoughts.
“You know that you are in love with someone when you care about their thoughts and their feelings, sometimes more than you care about your own. You wish to be around them and desire their company in more ways than you are able to explain. You feel you are...somehow incomplete if you do not get to experience their joys as well as their fears alongside them. Their pain is your pain. Their happiness brings you happiness. You feel linked--tethered to them...like the bond you share from your grace to their soul has somehow criss-crossed the universe but has never broken. You can’t help but love them with all your being...even if they do not return that love all the time.”
Jack and Dean only stared at Cas. Silent minutes ticked on..
Dean’s mouth opened and closed twice, but no words came out. For the life of him, Dean couldn’t figure out if he’d imagined that little speech or not. Had Cas just…? No, he was a celestial being, all powerful, an ex-soldier in freakin’ God’s army. He hadn’t just admitted--
“Or...something of that nature,” Castiel tacked on with a mumble.
Dean almost laughed out loud because, for all his almighty ferocity, Cas was most definitely blushing now.
“I don’t understand, Cas. Please explain?” Jack’s confused frown only added to the chaotic laughter bubbling in Dean’s stomach, itching to burst out.
“Yeah, Cas...care to elaborate on that?”
“Um…” Cas shifted in the solid chair, promptly ignoring Dean, “I-If you are in love with a person, you might show it by doing acts of kindness for them such as assisting them when they need help--even if they do not ask. Or perhaps making a lot of physical contact. Or...telling the person you care deeply for them.”
Then boy’s whole demeanor suddenly perked up in the most golden retriever-way possible, practically wagging his nonexistent tail, “Oh! Like what you do with Dean!”
Dean suddenly felt a wave of vindication because yeah, I’m not crazy, Jack is thinking the exact same thing ! But like rising waves, Dean’s vindication ripped away and a rush of...well, something hit him like a tidal wave. Was it anger? No, ‘cause it’s not like he wanted to hurt anybody. Embarrassment? Okay, so that was probably 50% of what was making his heart beat faster because Jack is sitting right there thinking Cas is gay for me . But that wasn’t all of it. What the hell else made up the little rays of sunshine rippling through his body?
Dean’s eyes darted to the angel that had started it all for him. He hadn’t thought about the first time he met Cas in...shit, it had to be years. Plenty of other things were usually overfilling his plate, leaving little room for a stroll down memory lane. But taking in this wavelength of celestial intent in his rumpled trenchcoat and dark-- Jesus --sex hair, Dean was slammed with the memories of that night in the barn. Sparks had rained down, Cas had flashed his feathers, and Dean had stabbed him. It was probably the most memorable meet-and-greet Dean had had to date. But that being he’d so feared that night, that Angel of the Lord who’d stormed into Dean’s life and flipped his entire perception of reality on it’s ass was hardly the bleeding heart, bee-loving, dad that sat beside Dean now. He could hardly imagine being afraid of Cas now, the guy had given up a whole freakin’ army for him, for chrissake. This blushing-- blushing? --sweet dude meant more to Dean than he could’ve ever imagined that crazy-ass night. And while he hadn’t consciously acknowledged the thing between him and the angel that he damn well knew was there..it seemed Jack’s words were set on dragging everything to the center of his attention kicking and screaming. Well... was it romantic? Was all the crazy and not-so-crazy shit Cas had done for Dean over the years--was it all because Cas loved Dean? Like, not just profound-bond-love, but love love. How about all the stuff Dean had done for Cas? Teaching Cas about human ways, Purgatory, keeping that damn trench coat, protecting Jack even after Cas had been killed...was all of that because Dean loved this angel?
It was startling how quickly the word popped into his brain. But, for once, Dean knew he wasn't lying to himself. Cas had even outright told him once: I did it, all of it, for you . The angel couldn’t have painted a much clearer picture than that. And as long as he was venturing into this weird, enchanted forest of self-honesty...the truth was, yeah, everything he’d done for the angel had some level of love to it, too. And maybe the kind of love had morphed and changed without his conscious thought, but it had morphed and changed nonetheless. And now here they were. An old, cynical hunter who’d already lived decades longer than he’d ever dreamed he would and a fallen angel with more love in him than should’ve ever been possible. Neither one who they had been in that barn, but Dean was hard-pressed to complain about that. Cas had sacrificed himself and his happiness for Dean more times than the hunter could count, and Dean knew that he’d never quite known a devotion like that outside of Sam--let alone returned that devotion. But with Cas it was different. Of course it was different, because they were different.
He thought of that thing he and Cas did all the damn time that his mind had-- secretly --dubbed as eye-fucking, and yeah, okay, maybe that should’ve been a clue right there. Come to think of it, Dean felt like kind of a dumbass for not putting all these weird little puzzle pieces together before. Could he honestly say he’d never once wondered what would happen if the angel, on the few occasions they’d hugged each other, simply didn’t let go? Or how he’d react if Dean...well, if he just went for it? Just leaned over and macked on the angel’s stubbly neck for a little bit. Could he honestly picture Cas not reciprocating?
Dean knew, deep down and with every hunter instinct in him, that this dorky, rebellious angel loved him more than he’d ever said out loud and...goddammit, Dean loved the dude right back.
“Yeah,” Dean felt his resolve building, embarrassment nearly forgotten in the face of this revelation, “Um, yeah, Jack. That’d be a good example...of romantic love.”
Cas’s wide-eyed face whipped up to meet Dean’s gaze so fast that Dean might’ve been concerned about whiplash if he’d been human. Cas squirmed again in his seat, eyes unblinking with his mouth slack and slightly open, but not a word leaving his lips.
Lips. Cas’s little pink tongue darted to lick his forever-chapped lips. How had the angel never mojo-ed himself some Chapstick or something? But even the thought of Cas smoothing his lips together after coating them with pink, cherry Chapstick that made them look all silky and--oh. Okay, well that confirmed it. Dean shifted in his own chair, pulling his flannel more protectively over his lap. Sooo, he was sitting at about 10 % embarrassed, 90% in love...and 110% turned the fuck on .
But this --this whole business was not a conversation they were having in front of the kid.
“Alright, Jack. We’re all done for tonight--” Dean said, eyes still fixed on questioning baby blues.
“If you got any more questions, just write ‘em down or whatever and we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“ Tomorrow , Jack,” Cas said, the finality of his heavy voice reverberated off the walls.
With a bit of a grumpy frown, Jack folded away his list once again and walked off from the table. Neither the hunter or the angel watched him go.
They sat in their silent staring contest for God knows how long, and Dean watched an avalanche of Cas’s micro-expressions cross his face. Little ticks and quirks in his features that Dean might never have noticed had he not known the angel for over a decade. And Dean was man enough to admit, his face probably didn’t look much different.
Finally the silence started to eat him alive as Cas continued to look right through him with those eyes.
“Look, Cas…” A little part of Dean had hoped that maybe the angel would interrupt him and do all the talking for the both of them, but no dice. Looks like Dean was gonna have to put on his big boy pants and use his words for this one, “I, uh…”
“Did you mean what you just said, Dean?” Cas’s low grumble almost seemed to echo in Dean’s ears. Dean finally broke the all-too-familiar eye contact and let his forearms rest on his knees.
This doesn’t have to be so freakin’ difficult. Just spit it out!
“I--Yeah, Cas. I did mean that,” Dean knew he didn’t have the bravery it took to look at the angel’s reaction until he had all the words out or he’d never be able to finish, so he kept his eyes on the angel’s sensible shoes instead, “Look, maybe it’s ‘cause I’ve been killed one too many times to think I’ve got all the time in the world to tell you this, or maybe I’m just getting too old to keep dancing around this crap with you anymore--I don’t know. But...But, here’s the thing: I know I’m better with you, Cas, than without you. You, Sammy, and now Jack, you’re family, and you’re all I really care about anymore. And...I’m not stupid enough to keep telling myself otherwise. Which means...well, that you’re it for me, Cas.”
Dean took a deep breath, now that the hardest part was out there and in the open, he could feel a tornado of words spinning out of him.
“And Jack ain’t wrong. It’s been, huh, it’s been years since I’ve been ‘promiscuous’. I hadn’t really stopped to wonder why...but I think I always kinda knew? If that makes any sense. I haven’t really wanted anything more than I’ve got right here. You’re my...Cas, and I, uh, I love you. Just--Like I said, I guess I'm getting too damn old for this.”
Dean finally let his gaze dart up to the angel who’s open face and--damn near cocky --little smile were on full display. Cas seemed no longer embarrassed nor the least bit surprised.
“Dean,” Cas said in that reverent way that had the hair on the back of Dean’s neck standing on end, “You are not alone in your affection.”
“Yes,” Cas’s rare, small gummy smile lit up Dean’s heart like nothing he’d ever felt before, “ I feel a great deal of love for you as well, Dean.”
“...Awesome,” Dean let his gaze fall back down to the angel’s shoes, biting his lip to hide his own smile.
Dean shifted in his seat like a goddamn teenager about to dance at the prom.
“So, uh, what now?”
Cas leaned in closer, and Dean wasn’t sure it was physically possible to look away from his angel now. And equally as impossible to stop the heat from blooming on his cheeks.
“Though my time with April was very educational, we did not explore the plethora of human sexual positions--certainly not with more than one phallus involved. Perhaps...would you care to use your experience in this department to educate me?”
Dean gulped as all the blood in his body seemed to flow south, leaving him almost lightheaded. Well, shit. How had that been the dorkiest and sexiest thing he’d ever heard all at once ?
“Are you--is that you flirting with me, Cas?”
“I suppose that depends,” Cas’s definitely-cocky smile gleamed, “is it working?”
“I-I’d say, uh, yeah,” Dean stuttered out. How on earth was he the one blushing like one of his anime girls when the 40 million-year-old virgin looked like he was gonna fucking pounce on him?!
“How about I could accompany you to your room then?” And though Cas’s words lilted at the end like it was a question, Dean knew the angel didn’t have any doubts about how Dean would respond.
“I suppose you should,” Dean grinned.
Though Dean had felt slight doubt and an awkwardness clouding his mind as he walked back to his bedroom with the angel in tow, every time he looked back to see Cas’s adoring smile he kinda just forgot what he was worried about. So what if they’d never done something like this before? They were doing it now. And they’d just figured it out as they went since there was no way anything satanic, heavenly, or otherwise was gonna get in their way now that they’d fucking finally reached this point.
Dean stood closer to the angel than he’d ever allowed himself to before. His breath on the hunter’s skin was driving Dean all sorts of crazy but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything abotu it, not when he was so close that he could see every tiny detail of Cas’s face. Did the angel look...older? Maybe all the times Cas had lost and regained his grace had allowed his vessel to age a little. Dean took stock of every wrinkle, and pore that was clearer than he remembered. The crinkles around his eyes, the slightest bit of gray in his stubble. Maybe Dean should’ve been worried that it was even possible for the angel’s body to age, but fuck if it didn’t look good on him.
“Anyone ever told you you’ve got a whole sexy-professor thing going on?” Dean smirked, wrapping his arms around his angel’s lower back to draw their bodies flush.
“I can’t say they have,” Cas’s lip quirked up and his eye crinkles became mesmerizing. He brought his own hands to rest gently on the hunter’s biceps, lightly gripping the flannel.
“Ooh, or like a sexy-doctor/right-this-way-for-your-prostate-exam type of thing?”
“You truly are enamored with that television doctor aren’t you?”
“Shuddup, Doctor Sexy is a national treasure. And his cowboy boots are to be loved, not mocked.”
“I don’t recall mentioning his cowboy boots, Dean,” the angel’s amused gaze slid down to Dean’s mouth and Dean could feel his heart start to hammer. Oh God, this was really happening, wasn’t it?
“May I kiss you, Dean?”
“Uh,” Dean’s mouth felt like the Sahara, “I, huh, yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, if you want to--”
“I do want to.”
Cas wound one warm hand to the back of the hunter’s head, fingers playing with the short hair there and thumb running smooth lines over the bolt of his jaw. His angel guided their mouths together, neither letting their eyes drop closed until they were nearly touching.
It was a slow, tentative first kiss. Cas took over, using his grip to angle their heads to slot together just right. The earthy taste of saliva and impossibly soft slide of lips fogged Dean’s brain in the best of ways. It was not even close to the most hungry kiss Dean had ever experienced but it was by far the most genuine. There was a slow passion in it, little nips and kitten licks that would seem entirely too girly if Dean stopped to think about it. But now that he’d finally gotten a taste of all that angelic goodness he’d been making googly eyes at for so long, Dean knew without a doubt that there was no going back.
The hunter let them slide apart, shamelessly keening into Cas’s other hand that’d traveled to his cheek at some point.
“So, how’d I do? Scale of 1 to 10, how was your first dude kiss?”
“It was...satisfactory. Profoundly,” though all the rest of Cas’s body had seemed to melt into Dean’s, the angel’s face was fond but nearly unreadable.
“‘Profoundly satisfactory’, huh? Well, not my worst Yelp review, I guess,” Dean’s stomach pinched a little, maybe this whole thing was more one-sided than he’d thought, “So, like a 6? Is a 7 pushin’ it?”
“I would say,” Cas smirked as he pretended to ponder the question, “a rating of 11 would be most accurate.”
Dean squeezed his angel a little tighter, his momentary doubt quickly dissolving in those baby blues.
“An 11, huh? Not bad. So…”
“You would not be remiss in kissing me again. In fact, quite the opposite.”
“Is that so…?”
Dean led their next kiss, no more hurried then the last but definitely more playful, more exploratory this time around. Now that he could, Dean wanted to savor every taste of his angel’s mouth and jaw. And he didn’t want to stop there. Not when the forever-tan column of Cas’s neck was inches away and just begging to be licked. But it seemed his dorky little angel had been a few steps ahead of him.
Dean couldn’t have stopped the moan that escaped him even if he’d wanted to. The downright mind-numbing mix of soft, wet lips and prickly stubble gliding across along his neck had him remembering just how ungodly long it had been since he’d gotten laid.
“ Cas …”
Small nips from Cas’s teeth joined the buffet of sensations lighting Dean’s skin on fire. Dean rasped out the angel’s name again.
“ Jesus , Cas…”
Cas hummed a little against his throat, nose nudging the hunter’s ear.
“I think I enjoy the way you’re saying my name.”
“You keep doing that and there’s more where that came from,” Dean huffed a laugh but he was far from joking.
“Do you enjoy me kissing your neck, Dean?” Cas said with another little hum, holding the hand on Dean’s jaw a little firmer in a damn near possessive way.
And not that he’d ever in a million years say it out loud, but Dean certainly didn’t mind his partners getting a little rough and nippy with him, but having Cas be the one taking the reins like that--Dean Winchester was so royally fucked.
“Huh, thought it was obvious,” Dean gulped.
“Well, you’ve certainly never been a subtle man, but I enjoy hearing you name your happiness nonetheless. Not to mention that your voice is very arousing on its own.”
That did it, everybody was officially wearing too many clothes. Why the hell did they both always wear so many goddamn layers to begin with?
“That trench coat has got to go, buddy,” Dean said, already moving to shimmy the angel out of it.
“I thought you liked my trench coat,” Cas grumbled, though he too was shaking it and his suit jacket off.
“It’s dorky, but it’s you,” Dean smiled, landing a quick peck to the angel’s furrowed brow, Cas’s features instantly smoothing out again.
With Cas’s coats and Dean’s flannel out of the way, the hunter couldn’t resist drawing the solid weight of the angel back against his chest. He seemed to be learning all kinds of new things today--not the least of which being that Cas absolutely radiated warmth like he was Dean’s own personal space heater. Maybe it was all that celestial energy bottled up in a mortal meat suit.
Dean tipped the angel’s own head back and got his wish, peppering his own wet kisses along the angel’s neck. Cas’s little breathy rumbles buzzed across Dean’s own chest and shot straight down between his legs.
“ Mmm ...I think I enjoy neck kisses as well, Dean.”
“Just called ‘necking’, Cas,” Dean chuckled.
“I very much enjoy ‘necking’ then.”
Dean smirked against the angel’s skin before raining down little bites to match.
“Ohh... Dean ....”
When Dean had had just about as much as he could handle with his socks still on, he reluctantly pulled away from the angel’s neck. He huffed a laugh as Cas tried to follow his mouth before seemingly snapping back to reality. The hunter left one last nip to the other man’s jaw, then brought his eyes back up, letting his face be cupped in the angel’s thick hands. Jesus, this was already gearing up to be the gooey-ist, schmoopy-ist he’d ever been with someone. And they hadn’t even begun to have any sexy times yet!
Well that was gonna change. He just had to stop gettin’ sidetracked.
Dean dragged the hands he had clasped at the small of the angel’s back to his waist, pulling at the white dress shirt to untuck it. Cas looked down and watched Dean’s eagerness with amusement, giving a happy sigh when the hunter finally snaked his warm palms onto the angel’s bare hips. Dean’s eyes fluttered closed when a wave of peace rolled over him, leaving him content to simply feel the heat beneath his hands.
“Do you usually proceed this slowly when you are intimate with someone?”
“Shuddup,” Dean huffed, letting his forehead fall to rest in the crook of the angel’s neck. When had they started swaying in place?
“It was not a complaint, Dean, just...an observation,” Dean could practically hear Cas’s little smirk.
“Just...just wanna take my time with you--sue me.”
Long dress-shirt-clad arms wrapped around the hunter’s shoulders wrapping him in the most encompassing hug of his 40+ years. Dean let his eyes fall shut again when he felt the angel press a small kiss against his temple. Was this what--dare he say it--true contentment felt like?
God, I love you. How come it took me so long to get my head out of my ass?
“You’re an exceptional being, Dean Winchester,” Cas muttered into the hunter’s hair, ‘I hope you’ll come to truly understand that someday.’
Dean allowed himself a final moment to simply bask ‘cause, God, was it exhausting fighting with himself all the time.
“Alright, there, Mister Rogers,” Dean pulled his head away from the angel, blushing be damned, and nearly hid his face again when he saw the pure fucking adoration in Cas’s eyes, “you can’t just say shit like that.”
“I’ll do as I see fit, Dean.”
Dean let his eyes fall to his angel’s collar when the staring suddenly felt too overwhelming, like Cas was somehow looking under his skin.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean sighed. Time for a new topic, “So how do you wanna do this, angel?”
Dean shot the angel the most Hey-Big-Boy smile he was capable of and was rewarded with that dominating, arched-brow look from Cas. Oh yeah, Dean was down with that.
“Perhaps we should start by removing the rest of our clothing and laying on your bed?’
“Naked and horizontal, good call.”
With the promise of seeing the angel in nothing but his birthday suit, Dean flung off his clothes and boots off like they were on fire. They’d waited a decade and that was more than long enough. Bare-ass naked, Dean finally took in the 6 foot smoke-show before him. All Dean could process were the miles of tan skin and the absolute wall of solid man that made up the angel. And there, between, thick thighs Dean wanted wrapped around him, like, yesterday--well, God bless whatever genes had made Jimmy Novak that hung .
Dean almost averted his eyes but stopped himself at the last moment--how could a cock be so goddamn intimidating?
“Dean, why do you keep staring at my penis with the same expression you stare at a slice of pie with?”
“Uh,” Dean’s eyes snapped back up to the angel who’s voice dripped with mirth, “Wha--no, I’m not.”
Dean certainly didn’t miss the full-body once-over the angel gave him.
“Well you’re not keeping your eyes to yourself either, buddy,” Dean tried for cocky, but it came out far more strained than intended, “And which one of us is licking his chops like they’re looking at the gazelle on Animal Planet, huh?”
“I suppose we should hold off on tasting each other until we are in bed.”
“ Fuck , Cas,” Dean all but groaned, nearly jumping onto the bed beside them. Yup, he absolutely knew how he wanted it now. Dean shimmied back until his head was laid back on the pillow, legs spread out, all under Cas’s hungry gaze, “Come and get it, angel.”
Though his eyes were lust-blown and half-lidded now, Cas didn’t pounce like Dean had expected. Instead, the angel stalked closer to the bed, looming over Dean and pinning him with his stare. Cas’s lips were slightly parted like he couldn’t get enough air, but he was otherwise unreadable. The fact that Dean was just laying there, dick in the wind, suddenly had his skin prickling at the vulnerability it allowed. He started to inch his legs closed again but was stopped by a firm hand on the knee closest to Cas.
“Stay,” In the otherwise silent room, the word seemed to wrap around him like a blanket. If Cas wanted to take over, well that was just dandy. Dean nodded, earning another glowing almost-smile from the angel, “Good.”
If anyone else had been so high and mighty as to try and give Dean Winchester orders like a freakin’ dog, Dean woulda torn them a new one then blasted them with rock salt. But Cas doing it just filled Dean with all the tingles--it seemed Cas might just be the exception to every one of his rules.
The angel slowly leaned over Dean until he eclipsed nearly everything else in the hunter’s line of sight. Cas’s hands came down to entwine their fingers, pinning Dean’s hands by his head. The angel brought their lips together in another smooth roll of lips and tongue.
“I love how you sound, Dean.”
Dean might’ve chuckled at what was most likely the angel’s version of dirty talk if his mind hadn’t been so wrapped up humping air and wishing the angel would get his feathery ass up on the bed already. God, he hadn’t even realized that Cas holding him down was something he wanted. Scratch that, needed .
“ Cas? ” When had his voice gotten so high and girly?
Dean had planned on demanding that the angel get horizontal pronto, but the air rushed out of his lungs. ‘Beloved’? Had--Had anyone ever called him anything like that before? Certainly never hook-ups. Cassie? No. Lisa? No. ‘Honey’ or ‘babe’, sure, but never that . Did Cas really mean that? Was he... beloved by the angel? Did Dean even have a frame of reference for that kind of affection? Dean’s throat suddenly felt a little tight. Jesus, he was not going to cry during sex. This wasn’t The Notebook, thank you very much.
“ Cas ...?” Why was that the only word his mouth could form?
“Would you like me to join you on the bed now, Dean?” The cockiness in the angel’s tone had melted away, replaced with the kind of voice someone cooed at a kitten with.
Dean gulped and nodded.
His body rocked as the bed dipped below the angel, legs sprawling in the space between Dean’s. Warmth from the body that nearly covered him drenched Dean. Chest to chest, thigh to thigh, heavy cock to heavy cock. Both groaned at the feeling of their naughty bits finally getting some friction.
Cas had lowered to his forearms, still keeping Dean’s arms immobile beside his head. Easy kisses were trailed across Dean’s cheeks, each path eventually leading back to his lips like Cas needed to refuel on Dean’s tongue before venturing back out to any other part of him.
“Yes,” Dean croaked out.
The weight of the angel was grounding and calming, like an electric blanket. Even though Dean could feel a steady pulse in his cock now, it was almost overshadowed by the thrum of safelovedwanted that seemed to pulse throughout his body. His throat tightened a little more.
“So beautiful, Dean,” Castiel muttered between kisses, “Immaculate.”
Dean squirmed in the angel’s grasp. This was too much--he wasn’t--Dean could see the edges of his comfort growing smaller in his rearview mirror.
“Cas…? Are you, uh, gonna keep saying s-stuff like that?”
Dean didn’t realize he had squeezed his eyes shut until he felt a feather-light kiss on each eyelid before he snapped them open. The angel’s brow furrowed in adorable confusion.
“Do you not like it?”
“I, uh, just…” Dean licked his lips, not quite sure if it was the bedroom eyes or kiss-bitten lips he found more distracting at the moment.
“Oh,” Cas gave an almighty eye roll before dropping a few more kisses to Dean’s cheeks, “I forgot that Winchesters don’t tend to handle praise well.”
“Runs in the family, I guess. That and our incredible sense of humor.”
“But I very much enjoy telling you how much I appreciate you, Dean. It...pleases me.”
“Holy shit,” Dean gave a breathy chuckle, “You have like a reverse praise, kink don’t you?”
Cas paused his kissing, “Does that exist?”
“You tell me.”
Cas’s lips twitched into a small smile where his face hovered over Dean’s, “Perhaps ‘arouses’ is in fact a better word than ‘pleases’ in this context.”
Dean felt a little giddy spark inside him and smiled as he leaned up to steal a surprise peck from the angel, “Weirdo.”
Dean was graced with a flash of a gummy smile before the angel went back to necking him. The ticklish, breathy feel of the angel macking on him had goosebumps rippling across his skin and little zaps of heat went straight to his cock. Dean tried to rut up against his angel but only got a few glorious seconds in before Cas was pressing both of their hips so hard into the mattress that Dean couldn’t move.
“ Cas , come on,” Dean did not whine, “That’s just cruel.”
But the angel’s hips did not pull back and Dean’s felt the second-hand vibration from the chuckle Cas let out instead.
“Patience, beloved,” Cas lowered his head to nip at the hunter’s collar bone, “You will not be denied long, I promise.”
“So, uh, I guess the nicknames are gonna stick, huh?” But even as he said it, Dean could feel himself giving into the idea of indulging in Cas’s little kink on the regular.
“Well ‘Cas’ has certainly stuck, has it not? You enjoy nicknames, Dean. Allow me this one?” A well-timed swirl of Cas’s tongue in the hollow of his throat cut clean through any arguments Dean had been trying to scrap together.
“No fair askin’-- fuck, Cas ...when you’re, ugh, distracting me.”
His angel only hummed against his chest, “All is fair in love and war, beautiful.”
“Can’t tell if this is love or war yet,” Dean huffed and Dean felt the angel’s smile against his skin.
“Surely, that’s not true,” Cas murmured with another nip.
“Jury’s still out.”
Suddenly, his angel was back at eye level, an eager little twinkle in his eye as he gazed down at Dean. Seemingly unable to resist, he gave the hunter another quick kiss. Keeping their eyes locked, Cas slowly untwined their fingers, palms sliding down to the hunter’s forearms.
“Dean? May I try something?”
A small shiver trilled down Dean’s spine.
“Uh, what is it?”
“I would like to pleasure you with my mouth,” Cas said, all too straight-faced. Dean sputtered, nearly choking on his own spit, “Are you alright?”
After a few deep breaths and more than one enthusiastic twitch from his cock later and Dean finally met the angel’s eyes again.
“Uhh,” Dean cleared his throat, “it, uh, does seem like the day for trying new things, huh?”
“So you consent?”
Dean chuckled, “Yeah, Cas. ‘M not in the habit of turning down blowjobs from pretty brunettes.”
Cas threw Dean a saucy smirk and tapped the hunter’s forearms, “Stay.”
“Aye, aye, captain.”
Immediately, the angel dropped back to Dean’s collarbone nipping and licking like he was racing to the center of a Tootsie Pop. As Cas inched his kissy mouth and grabby hands down Dean’s body, the hunter found his hands balled up in the pillow above his head and taking shorter and shorter breaths.
When the angel finally came to a stand still he was settled between Dean’s thighs, shoulders keeping him spread like a whore. The angel’s strong hands were stroking his thighs like he was made of satin. God, what had his life even become?
Pretty fucking amazing is what it’s become. An angel is about to suck you off. Your angel.
“You are awe-worthy like this, Dean. So good for me. So loving. So trusting,” Cas murmured against the hair-covered skin of his thighs, muscles twitching with every kiss the angel gave.
“ Cas… ” Though the lump had since gone down in Dean’s throat, it was now back with a fury, threatening to turn him into some Harlequin romance novel chick. He’d been fine a second ago and it was stupid how fast the words had his eyes stinging.
“It’s alright, love,” Cas punctuated with a kiss, “Baby feet.”
Dean’s head popped off the pillow and he squinted at the angel.
“Is that not the expression?”
Dean fell back in his place with a belly laugh.
“‘Steps’, Cas. Baby steps .”
“Ah, well that does make more sense.”
Dean grinned at the ceiling, not even needing to look down to see the Cas Is Not Amused face. God, what a cute, little dork.
Dean’s grin quickly fell into a slack ‘O’ as the first of many kitten licks teased along his shaft. When Dean got a look at his angel again, the smug little bastard was smirking up at him.
“Shit, Cas,” Dean huffed, “You learn this from the Pizza Man too?”
“No,” Sassy Cas replied, “the Babysitter.”
Those baby blues stared at him under dark lashes as Cas finally popped the head of Dean’s cock between pink, slick lips--it was goddamn obscene . The hunter couldn’t find the muscle control to hold his head up any longer though when Cas started squirming his tongue into his slit.
“ Ughhh , fuck-- Cas …”
The angel hummed around the extra few inches he’d slid down, holding Dean’s hips firmly against the mattress so he couldn’t buck up.
“So good, Dean. Love to hear your happiness,” Cas said before taking the hunter back down to the hilt. Angels and their lack of a gag reflex--would wonders never cease?
“ Ohhh ...shit, angel... your mouth ….”
The heat was nearly unbearable, and the sensations relentless. The hunter was using nearly all his willpower to keep his hands out of Cas’s hair like he’d been told because...well, Dean wanted to be good for his angel, dammit. If Cas was gonna insist on the whole praise thing, at least Dean could try to actually earn it.
As it was, Dean couldn’t be 100% certain that Cas wasn’t literally sucking his brains out through his dick because that’s what it sure fucking felt like. He wasn’t some scrawny-ass virgin getting to first base in the back of Baby anymore, but he was about to shoot off like he was. He was in his 40s for chrissake, what’d happened to his stamina ?
When the angel only hummed around him, pushing him that much closer to the edge Dean broke the rules and got a handful of Cas’s dark fluffy head. He pulled the wide-eyed angel off and took his first truly deep breath since Cas had started in on him.
“Dean? Are you alright?”
Dean could only nod as he tried to string an intelligent thought together--or hell, just a thought, period. Dean focused on the thumb his angel was smoothing over his hip bone, letting the touch ground him until his eyes were a little clearer.
“Fine--I just...just...c’mere,” Dean huffed.
Cas allowed himself to be pulled back up into the hunter’s arm, though his face was still tinted with concern. Dean wiggled his butt a little at the feeling of the angel’s swollen cock and heavy balls cradled in the dip where his thigh met his hip. The hunter brought their mouths back together, keening into the sweet slide of Cas’s tongue against the inside of his cheek.
Keeping a firm hold in the hunter’s hair, Cas sat back on Dean’s thighs and looked down at him with purpose.
“Are you sure you’re fine?” A flash of disappointment crossed the angel’s features and he looked at the pillow beside Dean instead of his eyes, “Did--Did I not do it right?”
Dean felt a clench under his ribs and brought a hand up to cradle the angel’s jaw, directing his gaze right back where it belonged.
“Are you kiddin’? I had to stop you before I creamed myself way too early,” Dean smirked as the doubt melted from Cas’s face, “You were that good, angel. Plus...”
“Well, uh, since you got to try something new...I wanted to try something too.”
“And what might that be, love?”
Confident, cocky Cas was back. Just the way he should be.
“I--Well, since we don’t have lube and I haven’t really tried, y’know, backdoor stuff in a while...I was thinking we could maybe try something else.”
“I could use my grace if we are in need of lubricant.”
Dean scrubbed his face with a sweaty palm. As tempting as that was...
“What does rain--?”
“Next time, I mean?”
“You’d like to be sexually intimate with me again?”
Dean felt blood pour into his face as he realized what he’d just admitted to. It wasn’t like it was a secret that he was head over heels for the guy--he’d just let the dude suck him off for fucksake! But still . He’d just gone and assumed there'd be a next time (and maybe a couple hundred more after that) before he even knew if Cas liked this whole bumping-uglies-with-your-favorite-human thing.
“I--We don’t have to do this again if you don’t want--I just--I didn’t even ask--shit, sorry--”
When his angel’s heavy palm landed over Dean’s lips, putting an end to his rambling, Dean took in the bemused smirk Cas wore like the sun.
“I would like to be sexually intimate again with you too, Dean. Do not fear,” Cas pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before releasing his hand, “So, what does this act entail?”
“So, the thing is I’ve actually done this before...but I’ve always been on the other end. And I guess, uh, I never really had an opportunity to, y’know, turn the tables.”
“How should I position myself?”
“Well, easiest way…” Dean turned onto his side, facing towards the door with the knob of his shoulder angeled toward Cas, “is if you scooch in behind me.”
“Oh. So...I don’t get to see your face?”
Dean looked up over his shoulder at the angel and saw the new sag to his shoulders. Dean snaked a hand around behind himself until he twined their fingers together and squeezed.
“Don’t look so bummed out, buddy,” Dean said, “We’ll give it a try and if you really don’t like it we’ll call it quits. Go back to necking or blowjobs or something, okay? But...gotta tell ya, I fucking love doing it this way. Well at least, loved doing it like this when I was on your end of things.”
“Yeah?” If Cas had been some crazy anthropomorphic cat being, his ears would totally have been perked up in curiosity.
“And if it sweetens the pot, doing it this way is basically just sexy cuddling.”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Dean bit his lip to hide his smile as the angel started inching closer, “Now get that horse cock of yours over here and spoon me, dammit.”
Though it took a try or two, Cas finally slid in behind the hunter, one arm snaking under the pillow Dean’s head rested on and the other wrapping around his stomach like a python. Dean let out a contented sigh--easing back into Cas’s hold, pressed head to toe against his angel. Cas seemed to be taking to the position if his happy nuzzling against Dean’s shoulder was anything to go by.
“Good, now, part two: putting the ‘sexy’ into sexy cuddling.”
Dean lifted his upper leg and curled it around Cas’s calf behind him. With only a little blinding fumbling between his legs, Dean managed to get a hold of Cas’s cock--eliciting a shaky hiss from his angel. Dean smeared the precome dribbling off the end along the thick line in his hand, engine revved not just from getting to fondle his angel but from the nips to Dean’s ears and mewls that he felt vibrating behind him. And so what if he maybe gave the guy a stroke or two more than was necessary to get a good slide going? He was a people-pleaser.
“Ready?” Dean asked as he positioned that monstrosity between his thighs, aligned with the groove of his ass.
“ Dean? ” Cas hissed when the hunter finally lowered his leg back down, surrounding the angel’s length in a tight heat.
“I gotcha, buddy,” Dean smiled.
Crossing his ankles to get a solid squeeze going, Dean felt a giddy hum rumble through him when the angel’s breathing started to turn into heady pants against his shoulder. The arm wrapped around his torso tightened, palm drawing up until it rested over Dean’s own hammering heart. Sappy little shit was feeling his heartbeat, wasn’t he? Dean bit his lip again, sneaking his own hand to rest over the angel’s.
“ Wha --ahh--?” the angel began.
“Now it’s time to show me your moves, angel. Racers, start your thrusting,” Dean chuckled, squirming a little at the very new feeling of squishing another dude’s dick between his thighs, but finding that, hey...he was already starting to love it a little bit. And the beauty moaning like sin next to his ear wasn’t hurting matters.
“ Ohh--Deee- -?” Cas rasped as he gave a few tentative thrusts forward. Though Dean could practically feel the angel’s hesitation locking up his muscles at the idea of venturing into the unknown, it was a safe gamble that a few more shaky thrusts and the angel’d start humping to his heart’s content.
“There you go,” Dean murmured. But the hunter was still craving a little something more, so he swiftly reached back and grasped until he felt the velvety skin behind Cas’s knee. Perfect . This would really get the angel’s engine going. He hooked his hand and dragged Cas’s thigh to sit firmly on his hip. God, he couldn’t get enough of these fucking thighs. And he wasn’t disappointed when his angel let out a breathy groan and started really going for it, “ Fuck , Cas...show, ummhh , sh-show me what you got, big boy.”
Knock knock knock.
“Dean? Are you awake? I know you said--”
Dean’s eyes shot open, an icy dagger flying through his core. I didn’t lock the goddamn door?! Dean might’ve shot out of the bed, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake like he was being chased by Wiley Coyote, if Cas’s body hadn’t seemed to have the opposite reaction, arms going frozen and clamping down like a vice.
“Fuck!” Cas hissed.
Any other day of the week, Dean might’ve laughed at an Angel of the Lord dropping the f-bomb like that--but not when he and said angel were about to be walked in mid-coitus by their teenager.
Dean had barely managed to pull the sheets where he could reach them over his and Cas’s naughty bits before his bedroom door swung open and a pajama-clad Jack waltzed in like it was his room and not Dean’s.
“Sorry, your light was on and I--oh, hello, Cas.”
Dean was painfully aware of just how much bare-naked skin he and Cas were flashing the kid with. There definitely wasn’t a lot being left to the imagination.
“Get out, kid!” Dean had meant to sound gruff and angry but it came out more shaky than he’d ever admit too, ‘cause..well...the head of Cas’s dick was still nudged up against his balls and he’d been so goddamn relaxed only 20 seconds ago and his brain was getting fucking whiplash.
The boy only furrowed his brow and did the little head tilt that was 110% Cas as he surveyed, what Dean was sure the kid saw as his two very pink, very naked fathers all wrapped up together.
“What are you doing here, Cas?”
“I’m, uhh, we…” the angel stammered, unconsciously burrowing down a little farther behind Dean’s shoulder, “We’re--We’re in the m-middle of something, Jack.”
Jack’s brow only furrowed farther. Did the kid really not get what he’d barged in on?
“I just had another question, though I know Dean said--”
“Seriously, buddy?! Morning ! Not a good time right now!” Dean squeezed his eyes shut, this was waaay too much, “ Please! ”
A stone of hot shame had sunk to the bottom of his stomach. His eyes had started stinging again entirely without his permission. Get it together, dumbass! This isn’t a big deal! Sam had probably walked in on him and a hook-up a million times in all their time together on the road, and he’d laughed each one off like it was nothing. So why did he feel so... dirty having been caught like this in the angel’s arms? He’d barely wrapped his own brain around the fact that he was letting a dude actually fuck him . And there was no question in his mind, that even though Cas wasn’t in him -in him, that’s definitely what they had been up to before the the 5’9” interruption had walked in--
“ Jack ,” Dean startled a little when he heard and felt Cas’s Angel of the Motherfucking Lord voice rumble out against his back, especially since it was directed at the kid, “Please leave us, we’ll discuss your question in the morning.”
Dean squinched his eyes open and realized that Cas had raised himself up on his elbow. The angel had tightened his arm more protectively around the hunter’s ribs. Maybe Cas had read his thoughts?
Or maybe he can just feel you shaking.
“I--okay. Goodnight, Dean. Goodnight, Cas,” Jack, unphased as always, said as he closed Dean’s bedroom door on his way out.
Dean let out a choked sound when he realized he’d been holding his breath and his lungs had started to burn. The strong arms around him gave a minute squeeze before the angel was untangling himself from the hunter and scooching backwards on the bed. Dean wanted the angel to come back, he wanted to beg the angel to come back and hold him, ‘cause--fuck, he just wanted him to come back, okay? But he bit his cheek and tried to steady his breath. He let his eyes fall shut again. It was okay. Even if the moment or whatever had been ruined and Cas...Cas left, he’d be fine. He’d be fine . He waited for the rustle of clothing, or maybe the clank of a belt, but when he heard the angel’s footsteps still getting further away he looked up to see the buck-naked beauty was locking the door handle. Cas turned back to look at him, tipping his head back against the door like he too hadn’t taken a deep breath in a while. His hard-on had gone a little soft in all the hubbub.
“Dean are you--”
“I’m fucking fine, Cas,” Dean barked. Okay, he hadn’t meant it to come out like--well, all mean like that but he was fine. And he didn’t need Cas trying to, like, soothe him or call him his honey bear or anything. He was a grown-ass man for god's sake. Nothing had really even happened! He was fine .
Cas only rolled his eyes heavenward and let out a huff before looking back at the hunter.
“So stubborn..”the angel trailed off, though his lips were slightly quirked.
He shuffled back to the bed, but instead of saddling back up behind Dean, Cas leaned down and kissed the hunter. Tension seeped out of Dean’s chest as the angel deepened the kiss, little, happy hums vibrating against Dean’s lips. A firm hand stroked Dean’s, no doubt, sexed-up hair, fanned-out fingers skimming the curve of his ear.
When the angel drew back, Dean could feel that he was grinning like an idiot but it was getting harder and harder to give a fuck when Cas was looking at him like that . A soft thumb ran along his bottom lip, soothing over the places Cas had nipped.
“So perfect, Dean,” Cas smiled.
“Shuddup,” Dean smirked. It’d take some getting used to, but...maybe...Dean could learn to live with Cas’s Hallmark movie crap...if it meant he got to have his angel like this.
“Says the dude with the brontosaurus dick.”
Dean was rewarded with a gummy grin as the angel shuffled forward and flopped down onto the bed, face-to-face with the hunter. They laid there, lulled in the quiet, content to just stare for awhile because...well, why not?
“Hello, Dean,” Cas murmured, wrapping a heavy arm over Dean’s back.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean replied, leaning in for a few more quick pecks. How had he gone so long without this?
“I would like to propose a compromise,” Cas said after a while.
“Yeah? Is it a sexy compromise?” Dean waggled his eyebrows.
“Oh, I think you’ll enjoy it, yes,” Cas huffed.
“Well lay it on me then, man.”
“What if…” Cas wiggled his hips closer, until their semis squished in against one another and they both sighed at the contact. The angel pulled Dean in closer with the arm he alreadyhad around him until their ribs bumped together too, “we resumed our earlier lovemaking--”
“‘Lovemaking’, dude? Really? What is this a 70’s porno?” Dean whined.
“What if we resumed our lovemaking --” Dean snorted, “but from this position instead?”
“You’re, uh, really into the whole face-to-face thing, huh?” Dean looked intently at a freckle above the angel’s nipple.
“I enjoy seeing your face when you are happy, Dean,” Dean shuddered and hissed when he felt a soft hand slither down between them and wrap around both of their cocks, thumb digging into the hunter’s slit just like he’d inadvertently taught the angel, “Love, hmmm , seeing your eyes squeeze shut, o-or watching your lips, ughh , fall open when something feels particularly pleasurable to you.”
Heat coiled low in Dean’s abdomen when the angel started in with tight, slow strokes. His cock rubbing against the velvet-covered steel of Cas’s was electrifying. The hunter squirmed in place, fingers gripping and un-gripping in quick succession where he had his hands laced in the angel’s hair and clamped down on his shoulder. The touches were just shy of enough.
“ Caaass… ”
“ Mmm , and I especially enjoy hearing you say my name. So g-good for me, beloved.”
“ Fuck , Cas... more ,’ Dean croaked, “Feels-- unnhh , you feel so g-good…”
Cas’s smooth strokes sped up, precome dribbling out and mixing together at a pretty steady clip, slicking the hot tunnel of Cas’s hand like the best waterslide ever. The angel had started up with the necking again, seeming to nibble, lick, and suck at every inch of skin he could reach from where he craned his head. Soft moans coming from the angel buzzed across the silky skin he was macking on and Dean couldn’t not wrap his arms tighter over the angel’s shoulders. This was fucking fantastic. Cas was fucking fantastic.
And fantastic at fucking , Dean’s last brain cell thought wryly.
“So beautiful, oh , you are a gift of creation just like this, my love,” Cas sighed against his skin, both now thrusting up into the angel’s fist.
“ Caaasss….ohhh ….baby, please …” Dean could feel his throat starting to swell again. Goddamit, not now! They were just words, Jesus, he didn’t have to keep losing his shit over words!
“Anything, l-love,” Dean could feel the dam inside him springing leaks left and right, “I’ll give you everything I-- uhh ...everything I can, Dean. All of me...a-all for you, beloved. Just tell me what you need.”
“Need you , Cas…!” Dean felt the first sob wrack his body and singular tears start to slide from his stinging eyes, but fuck if he couldn’t find a shit to give right now. Not with Cas--his fucking guardian angel --so close, kissing him, whispering shit that Dean had never even known he wanted-- needed to hear.
“I’ve got you, love. Do not fear. Y-You are mine...and-- uhh --I’ll take care of you.”
“So--So close, Cas…! Wanna-- ohhhh ...wanna come together...”
Dean was wound so tightly, like a rubber band waiting to snap. There wasn’t an inch between them, not a breath they didn’t share. It felt like their limbs had melted together, like two scoops of ice cream plopped under the sun side-by-side, so much a part of one another now that there was no telling where one ended and the other began. Dean’s head was spinning. So fucking close...
“Are you going to s-say my name when--when you climax, Dean?” Cas purred at the shell of the hunter’s ear.
“Fuck, yeah, yesss ,” Dean cried, “Wanna-- shit , wanna come, Cas . Please... ?”
“I-I’m there too, De- Dean ,” Cas whispered, “Come for me... uhhh …. beloved …”
“Oh, Cas , love you, Caaassss…! ” Dean screamed into the angel’s shoulder, cock jumping and pulsing out hot and white through Cas’s fist. He was vaguely aware of the angel crying out against his neck and the slip-slide of the dicks getting even more slip-slide-y.
Dean’s body seized up before immediately deflating. The thrusts against his overstimulated sex were becoming too much, too much, too much --before the angel finally seemed to deflate as well. Dean floated on the rolling waves of aftershocks that pummeled his nerves, leaving him a twitchy, blissed-the-fuck-out mess.
Dean and Cas lay there panting for 20 seconds, or maybe it was 20 minutes--who knew? Really good orgasms always left Dean giving Father Time the middle finger. As the fog in his mind started to give way to that familiar sleepy, sated feeling, Dean cracked his eyes open, not entirely sure when he’d closed them.
Dean’s breath got caught in his throat at the sight before him. His dorky, weird, kind, sexy, fucking perfect angel was a goddamn centerfold with his flushed cheeks and softly closed eyelids. His little, pink tonguing poking out over his lips as he tried to catch his breath.
Well, shit...I can’t not say it now.
“L-Love ya, Cas,” Dean mumbled.
Cas’s eyes fluttered open to half-lids, still lust-blown and straight outta Dean’s wet dreams. A gummy smile flashed across his face and he looked like...well, like maybe he hadn’t really believed Dean loved him until just now.
“I love you too, Dean.”
The angel made to run his hand through Dean’s sweat-soaked hair before quickly pulling back his arm when he realized that it was that hand he was reaching with.
“Oh,” Cas wrinkled his nose.
“Huh,” Dean chuckled and kissed the angel’s nose since, well, he didn’t have any right looking that cute in the body of a middle-aged man, “Yeah, we gotta get cleaned up before this crap starts to dry.”
“Allow me,” Cas’s messy palm hovered between them and the mess on their bellies, and just like that, they were squeaky clean again.
“The perks of having an angel boy--uh, of having an angel around, I guess.”
This time when Cas reached up he didn’t hesitate to card through the hunter’s hair. Dean felt like he’d been dipped in a big vat of the warm and fuzzies. Sleep was tugging at his brain and he knew he couldn’t hold it off forever, even if he didn’t really want to leave this moment. He peeled his eyes open, he just had one last thing he needed to say before the Sandman tranq-ed him.
“Listen, Cas...about the whole…” Dean motioned to his eyes, “the whole cry--the whole crying thing I swear that’s not like a regular thing. I-I-I don’t even really know why I did it--I just--I’m sorry and-- mmmhh? ”
Dean was cut off by his angel diving in for another kiss. That was probably for the best since Dean had no fucking clue where that sentence was racing to at 75 miles per hour. Cas hummed into the kiss until Dean felt himself molding back into those taut arms.
“I enjoyed our intimacy very much, Dean. All facets included,” Sassy Cas was back--but there was a little nervous furrow that appeared between the angel’s brows, “How--Did you enjoy it, Dean?”
Dean kissed the furrow smooth, and shot Cas a smirk of his own, “Loved every second, angel. Well...except when the kid waltzed in.”
“We’ll need to speak to him in the morning, I assume.”
“Yeah, that’s gonna be loads of fun,” Dean sighed.
“But that’s a worry for tomorrow,” Cas began carding the hunter’s hair again, “I think you’ve earned your rest for the day, haven’t you?”
“You just want my batteries recharged for round two, dontcha?”
Cas shrugged with a smirk, “Sue me.”
“ Sinner .”
Sam looked up form the Cheerios he’d just poured himself, simultaneously tossing his banana peel into the garbage can under the sink. Jack had waddled into the kitchen in flannel pants and a sweatshirt Sam recognized as the one he always borrowed from Dean since it was a little snug on the older Winshester.
“Morning, Jack. What’s up?”
“I--well, Dean and Cas gave me ‘The Talk’ about human sexuality last night,” Jack sat down at the kitchen’s galley table. Sam set down his own bowl, his glass of orange juice, and the carton. He grabbed out another cup for Jack, before sliding into the seat opposite the boy.
Sam grimaced, “How did it go?”
“It was very...informative. I learned a lot, actually. And I had another question I wanted to ask, but, uh...is it a sexual thing for two people to hug on a bed while naked?”
“Uh, yeah,” Sam coughed out a laugh, “Yeah, that’s, uh, probably the most sexual thing two people can do. Why? Oh God, you didn’t look at something on Dean’s laptop did you? Because porn is not an accurate depiction of anything --”
“No. Why? What’s porn?”
“Oh,” Sam didn’t look up from his cereal, “It’s nothing, bud. Forget about it.”
“Alright, Sam,” Jack said, getting up to grab the Krunch Cookie Crunch and eating straight out of the box just like Dean often did.
Something was still itching at Sam’s brain, though.
“Hey, Jack,” Sam started, “Where did you even see that anyway? Like was it in a movie or something?”
Should they be letting the two-year-old watch R-rated movies? Even if he was in the body of a college-aged kid?
“No, I saw it in Dean’s room.”
A little trail of spittle and Cheerios shot out before Sam could clap a hand over his mouth. Dean brought a hook-up to the Bunker?! When? That was such a security risk! So fucking typical of his brother! And then he was stupid enough to let Jack see her?! Wait a sec--
“Wait, Jack, how did you--um, how did you see Dean and some woman...uh, hugging naked anyway?”
“It wasn’t woman, it was--” Jack started waaay too casually, but stopped when Sam started choking on a swig of coffee that’d gone down the wrong pipe, “Are you okay, Sam?”
“Fu--uh, yeah, yes,” Sam ran a hand through his hair and counted to ten. It wasn’t like Sam didn’t, y’know, know that Dean was bi or something. He’d spent close to 80% of his life within a ten foot radius of his brother--he wasn’t stupid. Dean had drunk-flirted with one too many off-duty cops or smug S.O.Bs in leather jackets for Sam to write it off as Dean just being a natural flirt. But, yes, unfortunately Sam knew Dean’s type too--bad boys or anyone in a uniform. God, he knew way more than he ever wanted to about his brother’s love life. Even if he’d never actually seen Dean with a male hook-up.
This startling confirmation aside, it was still unlike Dean to bring someone back to the Bunker. Even if they passed through all the warding without setting off any alarms, it was just weirdly risky behavior for Dean. Sam just hoped that Dean’s penchant for bad boys hadn’t brought a pick-pocket or something into their home.
“Did, uh, did Dean know you saw him and this guy?”
“Yes. Of course,” Jack had a confused, but open expression on his face, “When I went in to ask Dean a question last night--”
“Wait, this happened last night ?” Jack fixed Sam with an annoyed glare at being interrupted again, a look he could’ve only picked up from the other angel in the bunker, “Uh, my bad, sorry. You were saying…?”
“After Dean and Cas ended our conversation last night, I went back to my room and tried to fall asleep. But I had another question I wanted to ask, and though Dean said that we could discuss any further questions I had in the morning...I saw that Dean’s bedroom light was on so I knocked on the door and went in and saw…”
“Dean and some guy hugging naked?”
Jack nodded,“Yes, Dean and Castiel were hugging naked on Dean’s bed.”
Sam froze, spoon in his bowl mid-stir. Jack didn’t...Jack didn’t just say that , right? He...no, ‘cause that would mean. Oh. Oh .
“Oh my God...that makes so much sense …”
“Sam?” Jack furrowed his brow.
“Hold, on buddy. I’m just--let me just process this for a second.”
Of course. That fucking explained everything! All the bickering Dean and Cas did when they were having a fight, Dean keeping Cas’s trench coat in the Impala’s trunk for months after all the Leviathan shit, his brother spiraling into a depression after Lucifer killed Cas, a million other tiny things...and, Jesus , Sam finally had an explanation for the atrocious amount of eye contact those two made. They were fucking! It was the answer to questions Sam didn’t even know he had! They’d probably been a thing for years and Sam just had noticed! Sam kinda felt stupid for not figuring it out sooner because, he knew his brother, and clearly Dean’s relationship with Cas wasn’t just an angel-with-benefits sorta deal--no Dean loved Cas almost as much as he loved Sam. Dean...Dean was in love with the angel--and Sam had just fucking missed it.
After another beat of Sam just staring into his Cheerios, re-framing the past decade of his life, a shuffling in the hallway had him snapping his eyes to the doorway. Sleep-rumpled and hair fluffed out in all directions (Sam made a concerted effort not to think about exactly why his hair was sticking up like that), Dean meandered into the kitchen. His Dead Guy Robe swayed as he made a beeline for the coffee pot.
“Good morning, Dean,” Jack chirped, looking for all the world like he hadn’t witnessed what Sam now knew he’d witnessed.
Dean froze, back still turned to them, and Sam didn’t miss the way Dean shifted on his feet. If Sam had to guess, he’d say Dean was probably wide awake now, even without his daily dose of caffeine.
“Uh, hey, kid,” Dean muttered.
Sam grinned into his coffee cup. Oh, this was gonna be fun .
“Hey, Dean,” Sam evened out his voice, “you seen Cas yet this morning?”
“Wha--? No!” Sam wiped his hand over his smile when he heard the clatter of the coffee can hitting the floor, “Dammit.”
“Okay, just wondering. Haven’t seen him yet is all. So, uh, how do you think things went last night?” Sam asked.
The corner of Jack’s mouth twitched up even though he was squinting at Sam. Jack knew Sam was playing some kind of game, even if he couldn’t figure out quite what. Sam winked.
“Shi--” This time it was the clatter of a coffee mug hitting the counter. So much fun, “What? What, uh, what happened last night?”
“Jack was just telling me that you and Cas gave him ‘The Talk’,” Sam answered innocently, “It went okay?”
“I mean, yeah, not--not a whole lot...Jack knows the basics now, I guess,” Sam smirked as Dean’s muscles shifted tightly under the rode.
“And what about Cas?”
Dean’s whipped around in place, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.
“Jesus Sammy, what’s with the third degree this morning? Can’t I get a cup of coffee without you getting all Deep State on my ass? Sheesh.”
Sam bit his cheek to try to school his face.
“Sorry. Just wondering if Cas had anything to add about angel courting rituals since there isn’t a lot of lore about it. But I guess someone didn’t get enough sleep last night. Something keep you from your full four hours?”
Dean’s eyes darted down to the now full cup of joe he had cradled in his hands. That blush almost looked painful.
“No,” he mumbled, pointedly blowing the steam off the top.
“You sure?” Sam hid his mouth behind his own coffee cup, “I could swear I heard noises, or something last night…?”
Dean coughed and tapped his fingers on the ceramic lip of the mug.
“No, idea, sorry. I’m gonna go, uh--forgot something…”
Dean started toward the doorway when another shuffling in the hallway got closer. Sam chuckled when Cas, only wearing his dress pants (sans belt), white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and socks padded into the kitchen. The angel had clearly woken up from sleep or some weird deep meditation thing, if his half-lidded, half-dead eyes were any indicator. Man, and if Sam thought Dean had sex-hair…
“Good morning, Dean,” Cas grumbled...smacking a quick peck right on Dean’s mouth.
Both Dean and Cas froze up, stock still, and now Cas was wide-awake too. They stared at one another all of five seconds, just blinking and looking like they were having a silent conversation. Cas’s eyes suddenly darted between Jack and Sam before he took slow steps over to where the two were eating their breakfasts--though Sam had long since forgotten about his cereal.
“Uh...Good morning, Jack,” Cas stiffly walked over to Jack, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder before hesitantly kissing his forehead.
He didn’t...he didn’t honestly think Sam was gonna buy this, right?
Jack only beamed his gap-toothed grin up at his father.
“Good morning, Cas!”
Cas started stiffly walking to Sam, who knew he wasn’t covering his surprise very well. His steps were hesitant, but he just kept right on getting closer. He was actually gonna go all the way through with this, wasn’t he? Was Sam actually seeing this?
“G-Good morning, Sam,” Cas leaned down quick, dropping a barely-there kiss to the top of Sam’s head, “Good morning to all.”
The rumpled angel slid back closer to Dean, looking more like Bambi than the almighty being he was. Sam looked at his brother who had his arms crossed, shut his eyes, and was pinching the bridge of his nose.
When Dean finally met his brother’s eye, Sam just arched his brow and looked pointedly between Dean and the sheepish angel.
Dean huffed out an exaggerated sigh.
“They--They know, Cas.”
“Know what?” Cas tried, voice higher than usual.
“Oh, Jack just told me he saw you two ‘naked hugging’ last night,” Sam smirked, and Cas’s shoulders deflated,“Does sound like a pretty profound kinda bond.”
Dean rolled his eyes, but the tension that Dean had carried in his shoulders had all but disappeared. He didn’t look as scared-shitless anymore, more like a teenager annoyed that his baby brother was teasing him about his crush. And that was the space Sam thrived in.
“Next half-angel kid that we adopt, you're giving them The Talk, Sammy.”
Sam smiled and flipped his brother off as Dean turned toward the door, mug in one hand, and Castiel’s hand in the other.