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Confessions of a Drunk Detective

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At 10 p.m. you had finally fallen into bed. You had just finished a shift that should have ended five hours ago, but people are stupid. Especially if they are drunk. You and your partner had been called to sort out a noise complaint. Thanks, Kurt. Apparently, all the other officers were too busy to handle it. 

When you arrived at the scene, the culprits were hanging from a tree shouting at each other. It was one of the strangest things you’d ever seen. You honestly had no idea how they had even gotten up there, let alone how they were still hanging on. It took forever for you and Magnus to get them to even notice you. 

Finally getting the attention of the male you shouted, “Hi, I’m Detective Y/L/N and this is Detective Martinsson.”

The pair waved down to you. 

You smiled back. “It seems like you two have had a fun evening. Why don’t you come down and tell us about it?” 

“We live up here, dearie,” the man answered. “We-we’re bats!”

Magnus, who was standing behind you, choked on a laugh. “They’re certainly batty,” he whispered.

Hiding your laugh, you continued, “Right, well how about you come down all the same. We can talk more on the ground.”

“We actually can’t move. We’ve been trying for an hour and turns out we’re stuck up here,” the woman piped up. 

“Great, just great,” you muttered under your breath. “Care to help, Magnus?”

“Nope, you are doing brilliantly, Y/N.” 

You huffed and went back to the car to radio for the fire department. Walking back to the tree, you noticed Magnus was talking with the couple.

“Here she comes,” called the man. “It’s the queen!” He then began singing “God Save the Queen.”

Magnus lost it then. You stood next to him and hip-checked him, only causing him to laugh harder. 

“What, don’t think I’d make a good queen?” you teased. 

“Oh, you definitely would. I’m just enjoying this.” You shook your head and joined in.

“You’re so pretty,” came a sing-songy voice. 

You looked up and noticed that the couple was watching you and Magnus. 

“She is! They make a cute pair,” the woman agreed. “Your girlfriend is pretty, don’t you think, young man.”

Your face flushed and you could only imagine that Magnus’ had as well.

“Um,” he began. He was cut off by sirens. He let out a sigh of relief. 

That hurt mate, you thought. 

Finally, the couple was extracted from the tree. You and Magnus put them in the back of the car and drove back to the station.

“Ooo, love…we’re going for a ride,” the woman hiccuped. 

“Going on an adventure. Oh, I forgot my camera,” the man cried. 

Magnus laughed out loud. You slapped his arm and he stopped. You made it back to the station and after another hour, being thrown up on, and a shower and change of clothes, you were ready to head home. 

“Oi, Queenie, want to go get a drink?” Magnus called to you. 

You rolled your eyes and hid a smile. “No, I am going home and sleeping for the next three days,” you replied. 

“Alright, enjoy the weekend.”

“You too, Mags.”



The sound jerked you awake. You sat bolt upright and listened. You heard a scratching noise.


Someone was definitely at your front door. You quickly got up, pulled your gun from the drawer, and tip-toed to the door. You didn’t see anyone through the peephole but cautiously turned the knob. 


A body hit the ground. You looked down in surprise, it was the last person you ever expected to show up at your flat.

“Mags? What are you doing here?”

“Hellooooo,” he sang out. You raised your eyebrows. 

“Are you drunk?” You knew it was stupid to ask. 

“No-oo…well, maybe a little,” Magnus giggled. He suddenly began belting out “God Save the Queen.”

You quickly tried to shush him. “Magnus, stop! It’s too late to sing.”

“Oh, sorry,” Magnus whispers. “Shhh, I have to be quiet now.”

You chuckled at your partner. “Come on, mate. Let’s get you up.”

“No,” he whined. “I want to stay here.”

Child, you said to yourself. “I know, but I need to shut the door, love.”

Magnus lifted his arms. You huffed knowing what he expected you to do. You grabbed his hands and pulled farther into the room and closed the door. You came back and stared down at Magnus. He waved up at you.

“What am I going to do with, Mags?”

“Love me?” came his response.

“What?” You were caught off guard but remembered that he was three sheets to the wind. “Of course I will.”

He patted the space next to him. You laid down, staring at the ceiling. You felt him scoot closer to you. Magnus was quiet for a few minutes, so thinking he was asleep, you rolled over onto your side to look at him. You were met with his blue eyes staring into your brown ones. He had a goofy schoolboy grin on his face. He reached up and brushed a stray hair behind your ear. 

“He was right, ya know,” Magnus slurred. “You are pretty.”

You smiled. 

“I wouldn’t mind if you were my girlfriend. You are…beautiful, Y/N. Funny, wise, and…have the cutest nose,” he confessed. He booped your nose and laughed. “I love you. I have since the first day you w-walked into the station. You were wearing a blue dress.”

“You remember that?” you asked.

“O-of course. It complimented your eyes and,” he paused leaning forward. “And it showed off your legs. Very sexy,” Magnus whispered. 

You laughed at his confession. “I think you’re pretty sexy yourself. It’s just a shame you won’t remember any of this when you wake up in the morning,” you said. “Come, love. Let’s get you to bed.” 

You stood and offered your hand to Magnus. He grabbed it and attempted to stand. In his drunken state, he tripped over his own feet and tumbled forward. Before you knew what was happening, you found yourself on your back with Magnus on top of you. You stared at each other for a second. You got lost in his stormy eyes.

“I’m going to kiss you know,” he said. You nodded. Magnus pressed his lips to yours in a sloppy kiss. 

You could taste the alcohol on his tongue, instantly feeling intoxicated. It wasn’t the exact way you dreamed your first kiss with Magnus would be, but it was still amazing. Your arms went around his neck and you both moaned into the kiss. His hand found its way under your nightshirt and caressed your skin. Your eyes shot open, your brain suddenly remembering what you were doing. 

You broke the kiss and flipped Magnus over so he was on his back. He looked up you, pupil lust blown. 

“No, Magnus. No more, not tonight. We need to get some sleep,” you told him. He nodded. 

You got up and helped Magnus stand. You both made it to your bedroom without any more accidents. You helped him to lay down and decided to take his shoes off. 

You sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “Now, close your eyes and get some sleep, Mags.” 

His eyes were already closed, his mouth slightly open. You bent over him and brushed your lips over his forehead. “Sleep well, Magnus.”

You stopped in the doorway to look at him one more time.

“Love you,” he muttered.

You sniffed and closed the door behind you. Settling on the couch, you stared at the floor where you two had just been. You pulled a blanket over yourself and snuggled down as a few tears escaped as you thought of his drunken confession. 

“I love you too, Mags.” 

The next morning you woke up with a crick in your back from the position you slept in. Groaning you stretched and went into the kitchen to start breakfast. Finishing the eggs you heard a thud and a groan come from your room. You smiled, poor Magnus. Suddenly he cleared his throat, causing you to jump. 

“Pain relievers on the counter, Mags. Drink all of the water.”

“Yes, Mum,” he grumbled. 

You laughed as you walked over to him, a cup of coffee in your hands. Magnus sat at the peninsula with his head in his hands. 

“Drink this.” You went back to the stove. “It will help.” 

“Did - did I do or say anything embarrassing last night,” he asked hesitantly.

“Nope,” you replied. Smirking you started humming a familiar song.

“Ugh, I really sang that?”

“Yes, you did. Placing a plate in front of him, you smiled. “Now, eat your eggs.” 

You cleaned up the kitchen in silence while he ate, refilling his mug twice more. 

“Wait on the couch. I’ll drive you home after I shower.” 

“Are you sure I didn’t do anything, Y/N?” he asked again. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“I’m fine Mags, I just need a shower. We can talk when your head isn’t pounding. I’ll be back.” You offered him a small smile. 

Once in your bathroom, you leaned against the closed door. Sighing, you turned the water on and got undressed. “Maybe one day he’ll tell me he loves me.” You got in the shower and let the warm water run over you. You massaged your neck, the water helping release the tension. 

You felt a pair of hands circle your waist. You yelped in surprise and lost your footing, but were held in place by those hands. Your breathing quickened as you felt the solid chest touching your back. 

“I thought of another way to relieve my headache, love.” His voice was rough and sultry. 

You bit your lip hoping you weren’t going to wake up back on the couch. “Mags, I-”

“I meant what I said last night,” he said turning you around to look in your face. “I fell in love the first day we met.” 

The way the water cascaded over his curls and the fact that you were both standing naked in your shower was affecting you. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I-I love you too, Magnus. Always have,” you confessed. You two stared at each other for a beat. “Kiss me…please.”

Magnus pushed you against the shower wall and captured your lips in a blood-boiling kiss. His hands wandered your body touching every surface and curve he could find. He swallowed up your moans greedily. His hands finally find your backside. He rubbed your cheeks, before giving a hard squeeze. 

You squealed and pulled back, gasping for air. Magnus turned off the water and grabbed a towel. He dried you both off and then picked you up bridal style. Throwing you on the bed, he scrambled to hover of you. He smiled down at you, which you quickly returned. 

Best weekend ever!