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hands on my curls

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River knew the Doctor, deeper than anyone else. She knew him. She knew his appearance like the back of her own hand. Every line, every freckle, every curve of muscle or bone, every inch of him as if she had memorised him on purpose. Maybe she had. Even she didn't know. Some things would remain a mystery to even her. She knew his mind, too. Often anticipation his reaction to thighs, or occasionally the look on his face.


There was a certain duality in him. The last of the Time Lords. Fierce and unyielding with fire and ice swirling around him. The destroyer of worlds. The demon of Demon’s Run. The man who never yielded to anyone save himself. The dutiful husband that bent over backwards for her. The man who loved so deeply and so completely so that every loss shattered him to the core. The man that knew her better than any other. Some days they seemed like two completely different people. One completely overshadowed the other to the point that even River forgot the other for a little while.


Some days they meshed to one. Those were always the most intense. The days he put everything aside and fought the battle for her . Not that she had ever asked. Not that she had ever wanted someone to fight her battles, but sometimes she appreciated it even if she didn't say it out loud.


She didn't recognise that part of him now as she gazed up at him, sun casting shadows over the curves of his cheeks and his hair over his eyes as he looked back down at her. His hand in her hair, her head in his lap, as he was telling her a story. She was only half listening, all too caught up in the sight of his face. The ability to be relaxed, themselves, barely came up as a possibility. When she got the chance, she drank it up as greedily as one could. Her hand laced with his free one, wine and book lay forgotten a few inches away from them as they drank one another up.


He radiated safety and home to her. She could only hope she did the same for him. Deep down, she doubted that she ever did. She had accepted that she was always much more in for their relationship than he was, and that was okay. At least she told herself it was.


He was a Time Lord, exponentially older and wiser than her. He has felt more, had more, and lost more than almost anyone else could imagine. She understood if she didn't hold the same gravity to him as he did to her. That did not necessarily mean he enjoyed it though.


The thought that was digging at the edge of her brain was quickly pushed aside when she noticed the corner of his mouth quirk up into a slight smile. Some thoughts would just have to wait for later. As of right now she was much too preoccupied with what she wanted to do with him next.


She leaned up, using the short lapse in speech as a window to kiss him quick and soft. He looked surprised for a moment before he closed the gap between them again, hands moving to hold her head steady. For once, River had not a single thing to complain about. 


For once, life was easy, even if just for a few fleeting hours.