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Loving You

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 “Well for me it’s waking up beside you, to watch the sunrise on your face, to know that I can say I love you. In any given time or place.”

...


Matt wasn’t sure how it happened, how time could pass by for them so easily? The simplicity of their time together meant some much too him.

It was easy and he never had to worry about not being himself.

She made it all so easy.

So easy that they had fallen asleep on her couch. They had slept through the night comfortably in each other's arms with the tv still going, you would think for a couch that it would be uncomfortable. Not for him, not at the very moment, yes his back might not think so in a couple of hours but it was all worth it. 

With the living room curtains slightly ajar the sun peeked through hitting him right in the face, the warmth and the light waking him up. 

Matt does his best to stir around without making sudden movements that wake her up, he's still  in shock from how they both ended up in the position they are currently in. He wants nothing more than to stay, and keep her in his arms but they have places to be and things to do. 

He slowly peels his arms off her waist, sitting up he looks down her face her hair covers half of it. Leaning forward he presses his lips to her forehead, lingering, before slowly he pulls away with sigh with his eyes closed. What was a man to do?

Once he woke her up the fantasy would end and they would go back to him loving her quietly and to himself while she would still be unsure of how she felt for him. The pain was much more than he could admit out loud, a mixture of hurt and happiness. 

He wonders how much longer he can love from afar, it didn't matter that she knew he loved her, he already admitted it, but maybe she wasn't aware of how much he did love her. Hopefully one day he could freely tell her without fear of her rejection. 

Looking up a the ceiling he exhales and takes a short moment before he lightly nudges her waking her up "Sylvie it's time to wake up.". She tosses around scratching the surface of where his hand once was, her shoulders rise and her head turns to the left as her eyes slowly squint opening. 

"Good morning beautiful." He can't help the smile the crosses his face. It's undeniable how he feels when her eyes look back at him. 

Her morning voice fills his ears "What time is it?"

He laughs because she's yet to realise that they slept through the night. "It's morning. 7am." 

Jolting up and she frantically looks around and then down at her watch "Matt, oh my goodness I'm so sorry. I'm must have talked your ear off. You should have gone home."  Her confusion is evident from her wide eye gaze his steady hands cover the tops of her shoulders. "Sylvie look at me." His stern but not harsh, he doesn't want her to panic, panic is the last thing he wants her to do.

"None of this was your fault. We both fell asleep, I'm okay, you're okay. We are good." 

He drops his hands to his side and stands up. "I should go I have to get some stuff for work but I'll see you there okay?" He puts his hand out helping her up.

Leaning forward he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and gives her a kiss on her cheek and whispers in her ear. "Last night was the best sleep I've had in a long time, thank you." Pulling back he give her a half smile he can't deny the heat on his face as he uses his hand to run it across his mouth, having a hard time looking away from her. 

"See you at work." He calls over his shoulder as he walks to her door the feeling of butterflies hits the pit of his stomach, he's not sure what the day entails but he knows that no matter what his day started in away that he'll always remember. 

...

He's thankful that when he made it to the apartment that Kelly and Stella had already left he would have to explain himself to them straight away, he could possibly avoid Stella but he definitely wasn't avoiding Kelly even if he wanted too.

He would have questions. 

Shift starts with easy, to his knowledge no one had mentioned anything about why he hadn't come home last. Any other person might feel relief but he knows his best friend well enough that this is just the beginning. Kelly was luring him into a false sense of security by letting him think he was off the hook, he wasn't sure exactly what to tell him, he himself still wasn't even 100% on where he stood with Sylvie. 

What exactly was going on with them?

He was without a doubt ready to be with her, he was done with one night stands, done with dating, he was ready to settle down and start something with her.

He was patient but that was easier said than done of course. 

Matt never considered himself to ever be a jealous guy, but there was something about Sylvie Brett that made him feel a type of way.

It's unfortunate that the man they are rescuing is trapped, but he can't help but feel bitter towards him. He was trapped in his car and still managed to flirt with her shamelessly. 

This was insufferable and he didn't like it. 

But of course it wouldn't stop him from doing his job, it just didn't make it easier that while Sylvie was attending to his injuries, the guy wouldn't stop staring at her and Matt had no choice but to watch. 

"Honestly If I die and your face is the last thing I see I'm totally good with that." Smirking up at her he lets his eyes land on her lips and she laughs back at him shaking her head. 

"Aw I think you've just hit your head a little too hard."

"Yeah that's probably true but I still think you have a nice face." 

"Thanks I guess." She laughs again at him but this time with caution in her tone. 

Sensing that she might be uncomfortable he cuts in.

"How you going Brett?" 

She places the c collar on and moves back letting him take over. "Yep done." and he happily takes over.

After that morning rescue things had been non stop for ambo so he wasn't able to take a minute to see her and check in. It made him nervous for when he would see her but no matter what he knew that he had no regrets for staying the night and just wished to reassure her about that. 

He wonders towards his quarters getting ready to start the paperwork but not before he walks past the squad table and gets Severide's attention.

"Roof?" 

"So what happened last night?" His eyes brows raised wearing a cheeky grin. 

Shaking his head "I'm sorry to disappoint you man, it was all tame, we fell asleep on her couch after a good talk." 

Severide turns surveying his face for any sign of him lying. "Seriously?" 

"Yes! Trust me nothing happened." He sighs aloud, as he slouches forward and runs his hands down his face. He wishes more happened but he’s not upset that they fell asleep together. 

"You okay man?” Kelly ask with nothing but concern. 

”I’m really not.” It’s the truth. 

”Okay this has to stop. You guys need to actually get together, if not move on, because this is exhausting you.” 

Severide makes a clear observation, he probably does look incredibly tired but if he was honest with himself he was tired a long time ago. He tired himself out towards the end with Gabby, constantly unsure of her moves, with no clue with the stability of their relationship.

That had made him exhausted.

“Yeah you’re right in away it is exhausting not knowing where we are at. But I know my patience will be worth it because she’s worth it.” 

...

Just like this morning he finds himself outside her door but this time instead of waking out he's walking in. They had managed to quickly make plans for dinner again in between the craziness of shift. 

"Matt, you made it and you're early." She opens the door wearing a silk low cut top and matching shorts, and he visibly swallow. Dear god, he hoped she didn't answer the door like that often or ever. 

He gestures to her outfit as they walk through into the living room. "Yeah, sorry. I must be too early." 

"Just a little bit, I like to put on comfy clothes after my shower for while I'm getting ready." She shrugs like it's no big deal, but it is a big deal.

"Cool." He's not sure what else to say, this is probably the most skin he's ever seen of hers, he already knows that she'd beautiful but this, this was different she's divine and her skin looks so soft. 

Oh what he would give too run his hands down her body.

Lately he had found it difficult to keep his mind and imagination clear of any thoughts as to what she looked like naked. It wasn't like him to think like that often but after finally noticing her outside of work and admitting that he loved her and spending more alone time together it was becoming more and more difficult to keep the thoughts at bay. 

So he does everything in his power to not look anywhere near or around her or even remember that she's wearing a matching navy blue silk top and shorts with her lace bra straps visible under her top. 

God help him get through this night. 

She moves to stand in front of him completely oblivious to what she was doing to him making it much worse as she places her hand on his cheek turning his head to face her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yep. All good." He barely managed to get out the words as he focuses on the strategically laid out magnets on her fridge, some where the classic tacky ones you'd find in ever town gift shop, some she had customised of photos of friends and family. 

They were lovely. She had great style.

This time she makes stands on her tip toes trying to get right into his eye line."Matt." Her head clocks to the side and her eyes brows raise, she still had no idea of the effect she had on him. Standing on her toes to catch his eyes seemed like a good idea, she struggled to hold herself up for every long it didn't help that the height difference between them. 

So in perfect slowly motion her toes give in and she starts to stumble and this time he has no choice but to look at her and catch her before she goes down and it doesn't make Matts situation any better. 

If anything now its worse, with his arm wrapped around her waist he pulls her forward a lot more rough than he anticipates because now he can feel the outline of her body against his, he's close enough that she can see the pink on her cheeks and the goosebumps that run up and down her arms. 

Her chest is rising and falling quicker and quicker as he looks into her eyes and quickly at her lips. 

"Sylvie." His voice is corse as he calls her name. 

"Yes?" She mumbles. 

Before he's able to respond and do anything the door bell rings which helps him snaps back to reality and quickly adjust their bodies so they are standing up straighter and puts distance between the two of them dropping his hands back to his sides.

"I'll get it." He swallow as he walks to answer the door completely taken back with what just happened.