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Can’t Quit You

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“Alright Cas, this time I want you to pick the movie.” Dean said, raising his eyebrows and looking at Cas with a playful excitement on his face. “I think you’ve earned that much at least.”

 

It was early evening, and team free will 2.0 had taken a well deserved day off. Dean and Cas were lounging in the library, while Sam was paging through a novel he’d started a few days prior. Jack was nowhere to be seen; he’d spent all day watching TV in his room.

 

Cas was leaning back in his chair, looking at Dean with a familiar fondness. “Are you certain? I really don’t mind watching whatever you pick Dean.” Cas said. “I’ve always enjoyed your selection of movies.”

 

“No, no, this time you pick.” He affirmed. “You pick the flick and I’ll go on a beer run.” He got to his feet and patted his back pocket, confirming his wallet was present. 

 

Sam didn’t look up. He was consumed by whatever it was he was reading, happy to be in his own world. It was because of this, or perhaps it was intentional, that he did not ask to be invited. 

“Be back in a few” Dean said - walking past Cas, patting him on the shoulder and letting his hand trail across the angel’s back as he walked towards the stairs. 

 

Nobody noticed the angel close his eyes and breathe in slowly, as he was caressed in this brief moment. 

 

When Dean was gone, Cas stood and glanced over at Sam. “I’ll be in the Dean-Cave.”

 

Sam raised his eyes from the book that was clasped in his hands “Yeah, sure Cas. I’ll be here.” He flashed Cas a quick smile and returned his attention to the book.

 

Cas made his way to the Dean-Cave, and over to the laptop sitting next to the big flatscreen. He knew he wanted to put on a western, since they were Dean’s favourites. He browsed the downloaded movie titles, smiling to himself as he read ‘tombstone’. That was the last western they had watched together. He really got a kick out of witnessing Deans fanaticism of cowboys and gunslingers. He continued down the list. Silverado.. already watched. Magnificent 7..already watched. The next title was unfamiliar to him, but after reading the synopsis, he knew he’d found exactly the kind of thing he needed.

 

Not much longer after Cas had selected the movie and settled in, he heard the clink of beer bottles coming down the hall. 

 

“Alright, got the beer, ordered the pizza..you pick a movie?” Dean said, his voice getting louder as he walked into the room. He placed the beer down on the coffee table and took off his jacket. 

 

“Yes, I did”. Cas replied, taking off his trench coat and draping it over the back of his chair. “I’m continuing our western theme.”

 

Deans face lip up. “Atta boy Cas” Dean said with a grin. He popped the cap off his beer using the tables edge, took a long draft and abruptly stopped. 

 

“Wait” He said seriously, with a hint of urgency in his voice, nearly spilling beer from his mouth.

 

Cas looked at him, visibly concerned. He tensed and moved to get up.

“What Dean? Are you-”

 

“Wait right here.” He interrupted, gesturing the angel to sit down. “You forgot something.” Dean stepped out of the room. Less than a minute later he returned, now donning a sleek Stetson and holding a cheap, more tacky cowboy hat in one hand. 

 

He grinned sheepishly as he walked over to Cas and placed in on his head. 

 

“Dean..” Cas said, exasperated. He adjusted the hat on his head.

 

“Thems the rules Cas, you know the drill.” He said and nodded to Cas with a goofy grin.

 

Knowing his queue, Cas stood and walked over to the laptop. He plugged in the HDMI like Sam had showed him, and with the barest of hesitations, clicked play.

 

Movie night was almost a ritual. The pair would drink beer, eat pizza, and get comfortable. It was a way to escape the hunter life for a few hours, and even if consciously unknown to them, it was an opportunity to bond and enjoy one another’s company. They always did this together, with a noticeable absence of Sam or Jack.

 

Cas retuned to his seat, and glanced over at Dean, waiting to see his reaction once he realized what movie he’d selected. 

 

Dean, seeing the opening credits flushed slightly. “Y’know Cas when you said western this isn’t exactly what I thought you meant.” He said with a nervous chuckle. 

 

Cas blanched. “I-I can change it..I didn’t-“

 

“No, no you picked it. And hey it is a western of sorts. Nothing wrong with .. you know” he awkwardly gestured to the tv with his beer in hand as the title Brokeback Mountain displayed on the screen.

 

Understanding that Dean was referring to the two men, Cas nodded but didn’t turn his attention from Dean. He took in the lines of his face, the shape of his mouth, and his soul - oh the brightness and fullness of it. He noticed the hunter seemed nervous. Not uncomfortable exactly, more flustered. There was a redness in his cheeks, and Cas could feel an aura of longing emanating from him. 

 

Dean shifted in his seat, thinking of whether or not Cas knew what the movie was about. Of all the choices, why this one? He stole a glance at the angel from the corner of his eye. Cas was watching him. His heart beat quickened and he felt the flush on his face deepen. What on earth was happening to him. It was only then that he noticed their two chairs were much closer together than last time they were here. Had Cas moved them? No, it must be his imagination.

 


 

Some time later, there was a knock on the door as it swung open. Sam stood in the door frame holding a flat box. “Pizza’s here guys.”

 

Dean and Cas looked up at Sam, both with embarrassed expressions on their faces, though Sam couldn’t figure out why. They appeared as though they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t. 

 

“Ah y-yeah thanks Sammy” Dean stammered. 

 

Sam put the pizza down on the coffee table and glanced over at the TV. 

 

Oh..

 

 

 

 

Don't try to fool me no more Ennis! I know what that means! Jack Twist... Jack Nasty!! You didn't go up there to fish, you and him... 

 

Realization on his face, Sam said incredulously “Are you guys watching Brokeback Mountain?”

 

Dean gave a shrug and an awkward, rather sheepish scoff. 

 

“It was my choice.” Cas said, not bothering to explain anything further.

 

“Right..” Sam chuckled with raised eyebrows. “Don’t have too much fun, you two”. Before Dean could retort, Sam had left, closing the door behind him a little harder than necessary. 

 

Dean cleared his throat, directing his attention back at the cowboys on screen. “Typical Sammy” he said shaking his head. “Ruining the best part”. They dug in to the pizza.

 

The rest of the movie left Dean feeling a mix of emotions. He was trying to bury the thought of him and Cas in the cowboy’s place. Why did that keep flashing through his mind? Ridiculous. He fought harder to ignore the throbbing in his pants; and the mix of embarrassment, disbelief, and thirst he had. Though he had plenty of beer left..

 

The voice of cowboy Jack interrupted his thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I knew how to quit you

 

Eventually, the end credits started rolling. Dean’s eyes were glossy and he blinked away whatever might have been forming in them. He’d forgotten what a sad ending this move had.

 

“Hah, well there you have it Cas. Good ol’..Brokeback Mountain” Dean said with more bravado than warranted. He eyed the angel where he sat, from the top of his head down to his feet, and back up again. Without realizing, he was biting his lip. He swallowed hard. 

 

This nuance didn’t go unnoticed, however, and Cas tilted his head at the hunter. He got up from his seat taking off his cowboy hat as he rose, and tossed it rather aggressively on the cushion behind him. He stalked over to where Dean sat, moving with purpose. Dean could see the outline of his arms through the dress shirt. He looked so different without the trench coat on. Though, he wasn’t complaining.

Cas leaned over him, hands on the chairs armrests. His face was inches from Dean’s; his gaze piercing as though seeing right through him. 

 

Feeling the heat from Cas’s body and breath on this nose, he flushed. 

 

“Cas what are you doing?” Dean choked, turning his face away from Cas, eyes darting in several directions nervously, trying to look anywhere but the face before him. 

 

Cas removed Dean’s hat with one hand, and put his thumb and forefinger on Deans chin, to bring his face back to him. “I think we should..go fishing” he breathed.

 

Their stare continued as the hunter’s face transformed from confusion to realization. Dean gave the barest of nods, and his lips parted in a shaky exhale. 

 

Cas closed the small gap between them, lightly brushing his lips across Dean’s. They were surprisingly soft. His forehead pressed against the hunter’s as he breathed him in.

 

Dean’s knees were weak and his heart was racing. He couldn’t take the tension anymore and without thinking, grabbed the angels tie and pulled his lips onto his own. They connected with a fierce and desperate desire. Cas moved his hand onto Dean’s neck, crushing their lips together harder. With his free hand he grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt and effortlessly lifted him from his chair, to a standing position. 

 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, moving in closer. He could feel his hips press against the angel. His hands gripped the back of Cas’s shirt in bunches, trying to hold on to this moment. To his angel. 

 

They barely breathed. Both could feel the other’s pants shifting, becoming tighter. 

 

“Cas..” Dean breathed.

 

“Dean, I..” he began, breaking their kiss apart. 

 

“My room” Dean said hoarsely. “Now.”

 

A small smile traced on Cas’s lips. “I don't care if you're moving slow or fast, as long as it's in my direction”.