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Should Have Never Answered

Chapter 2: I Need You

Notes:

pt. 2 is here!! this one’s a bit short, sorry:/

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Cody fucked up. Or maybe he didn’t, and his tendency to overthink was starting to plague his mind. Noel’s deadpan voice agreeing to meet up still rang in his ear clear as day, and he was worried that calling his best friend might have been a mistake.

He arrived early at their agreed upon meeting spot, not being able to wait any longer in his apartment. He woke up at the crack of dawn- more like got out of his bed at dawn because he had been tossing and turning all night- and went on a run to burn some energy.

It worked for a while, he felt a bit more calm than before, but as he sat at one of the tables in the cafe, nervously tapping away at his cup of coffee, the anxiety from earlier care back with a vengeance. 

Cody waited for what felt like forever, checked his phone every two minutes, until he heard the door ring open. He didn’t look up, telling himself that it probably wasn’t Noel, until he saw someone sit in the seat in front of him out of his peripheral vision. 

He looked up in surprise, warmth filling his body when he was met with the same hazel eyes he’d had countless dreams about. “Oh, Noel, you’re here?”

It came out as more of a question, and Cody internally cringed at himself for being so weird.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Noel answered, no emotion in his voice and his eyes cast downwards. 

The table was filled with awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Cody had practiced his apology every day, making sure that it was perfect, but now that Noel was sitting in front of him, in all his glory, he was at a loss for words.

Cody knew he fucked up that night- he knew that. But that didn’t stop the regret that had been eating away at him for the last six months. The way he reacted when Noel told him he loved him was not the way he wanted to. It was a knee-jerk reaction, and the fact that he was still confused with his own feelings didn’t help much either. 

Cody was an idiot, and it took him losing his best friend to see that he too, was in love with him. Had been ever since that first night. And now he was sitting in front of the man that he loved, and he still couldn’t muster up the courage to say something.

Noel cleared his throat. “Do you want to go somewhere else? I don’t think I can sit here any longer.”

Cody simply nodded, not trusting his brain or mouth to come up with anything coherent to say. 

They got up and started walking down the sidewalk, somehow ending up in a park nearby. They were completely silent, until Noel broke it by speaking up again. “So, uhm, you wanted to talk?”

Cody sighed, turning his head, but refusing to make eye contact. It was now or never. “I’m just gonna come right out and say it- I’m an idiot, okay? A complete dumbass, colossal moron, whatever you wanna call me. I was a dick to you that night, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t care about you. Because I do. I care about you so much it’s stupid. I think about you every day- about how I hurt you, and how I never want to do that ever again. I think about how much I miss you, you and your stupid jokes, and your weird ability to make me laugh even when I’m in the shittiest of moods. I think about how it took me losing you to realize how much I need you, how much I’m in love with you.”

They were stopped in the middle of the park, and Cody took a chance to glance up to his best friend, who was looking back at him, face unreadable as ever. “I was wrong to push you away, Noel. I know we can’t go back to how we used to be, but could we at least start over? Build our trust back up? I don’t think I can go another day without you in my life.”

Noel was silent, eyes flitting back and forth between Cody’s. He looked like he wanted to punch the blond, but instead wrapped him into a tight hug.

Cody was taken aback at first, but took no time in flinging his arms around his best friend and hugging him back twice as hard. They remained there for a while, just holding each other, until Noel broke himself from Cody’s hold.

“You’re right, you are a dumbass. I won’t say that what you said that night didn’t hurt me, because it did, but I am willing to start over. I missed you too, I guess,” he mumbled the last part with a small smile, the kind that showed off his dimples. 

Cody laughed as he teasingly pushed Noel, and they both started walking again, asking each other what had happened in their lives in the last six months. They knew that it would be a while before they were back to how they were before, and it would never really be the same, but they were willing to work towards it, and that’s the best thing any of them could ask for.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!! This one was shorter than the other one just because I didn’t really know which direction to take it. It was kind of just meant as closure for them, not to make it into a longer fic. Thanks for the love though, I really appreciate it <3

Notes:

tinymillernko on tumblr <3 kudos and comments make me happy