I had a dream and that dream became a reality.
But at what cost?
Of course. I’ve killed people, and a lot at that for it being only a few days, which would be jarring to any normal person. But me? Not in the slightest. In fact, the only big problem I had was with that giant heaping ball of fire and spite that occupied the sky for half of the entire day.
But I guess there were deaths I had to… undo.
Bucciarati, Abbacchio, and unfortunately Narancia. The only ones left alive were Mista and Trish, who I kept close. And Mr. Polnareff who chose to stay dead as a ghost in the turtle. It’s not like I blame him, after all the life of being a creature of the night really sucks.
But then I start to wonder. We’re missing Fugo. I hadn’t known him long, not that I did everyone else at first, but him even less so after he left.
Fugo, Fugo, Fugo.
I turned to look at Mista who was doing… well, he was trying to look like he was doing something even though he wasn’t.
“Mista, I need to ask you something.”
He turned away from his arduous task of absolutely nothing. “What is it?”
“It’s about Fugo. Did... you tell him that Bucciarati, Abbacchio and Narancia were okay? And that they’re just in hiding while everyone thought they were dead?”
The look on his face told me everything. He first looked up, raised an eyebrow for a second, looked down, and then his face just dropped with eyes wide. “Oh. That’s what I forgot.”
“You forgot? Mista, what the fu-”
There was a slam from an outside room. We both bolted to go see what it was and there he was. Getting held back by some guards while violently thrashing in their grip. Fugo. And he was pissed.
I waved a hand at them. “Let go of him, that kind of restraint won’t be necessary.”
He was promptly dropped, and to the ground at that.
“Fugo…” I started, but he didn’t look up at me. “Are you okay?” I asked. No answer. I paused before I bent down and lent him my hand. “Here, I’m very sorry about them.”
He slapped it away. “I don’t need your help. I don’t want your help.” Ouch.
“How about we talk about this in the other room over a coffee or tea?”
His hands shook and his facial features twitched before taking a swing at me. I didn’t do anything to dodge him and took the hit. I took blow by blow, hit by hit. Mista tried to intervene, but I extended my arm at him to stand his ground.
“I can’t believe how stupid I was! Thinking that you can be trusted with this ‘DREAM’ of yours! The one you wouldn’t shut up about!” He grabbed me by the collar. “You probably didn’t even care that they died because you wanted to take the boss’s place! Abbacchio, Bucciarati, even… even Narancia! Did you even cry? Did you care at all or were they just stones you can just step on to get to your damn dream?!” His grip became loose and weak. He hid his face in my chest. “Well? Say something, you asshole! Why did they die when it should’ve been you?” He drew a shaky breath. “Why did they die when it should’ve been me?”
And there we were. On the ground, his face in my chest, now crying. Silent. I stroked his hair and looked down at him. “Mista, this is a sensitive subject. Allow us time alone for now. We will talk about this later.”
“Ahem. Uh. Yeah… ” He went on and darted inside another room.
I continued on to hush and pet Fugo. I leaned down and gently whispered “Are you alright?”
“...I can hardly call it ‘alright.’”
“I figured as much. We have something we need to talk about. Are you okay with getting up?”
Helping him up to his feet, I guided Fugo to the next room and sat him down on a couch. “You know… you missed a lot over this time. It’s been hectic and, well… it’s been a hard time for everyone involved.”
“...I was a coward.”
“You’re sixteen, Fugo. You were right to stay back. You almost died trying to escort Trish, and then Bucciarati and I decide to betray the boss? It was just a risk that pushed your limits, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that.”
His hand balled up into a fist and slammed right into his leg. “That still doesn’t change the fact I could’ve helped! Narancia died not knowing basic math, damn it! I could’ve been there and…” he started curling himself into a ball, voice becoming strained. “I could’ve at least saved someone. Anyone.” His breath became uneasy and his body equally so. He looked like he was about to cry again.
He wouldn’t want the others to see him as he was. I sighed and knelt to his level on the couch. “Fugo…” I pushed a lock of hair away from his face back and behind his ear, gently caressing his head in the action. He didn’t look at me, but instead went back to my tear dampened chest. I knew what he needed.
While he kept his head nestled comfortably in my chest, I shushed and cooed like a mother nursing her injured child. He gripped onto my suit jacket, quietly letting out what was left from earlier.
“Sh sh shhh… there, there. Ah. You must be tired from all this crying. Stay the night. There’s something that we need to tell you tomorrow. Is that alright, Panna?”
I made a gentle smile and brushed his hair back. “So… do you want to rest, or do you want to stay in my breasts a little longer?”
Immediately he pushed back with a surprised look on his face, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. His nose and cheeks were red and his eyes looked a little puffy from crying. Gently, I placed a hand on his cheek and wiped away a stray tear from his face. It lingered for only a moment before I took my hand back and straightened the wrinkles in my suit.
“Alright now. How about I show you the guest room, Fugo?”
He nodded sheepishly and followed as I stepped out into the hall and led him to the guest room. I stopped in front of the door and opened it up for him “Here we are. Just make yourself comfortable, okay?”
“Okay…” as I was about to walk away, he stopped me. “Giorno?”
Turning back, I looked at him patently. “Yes, Fugo?”
“Ah…” he looked to the ground. “Nothing, just… thank you. And I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. Sleep well. And don’t forget to ask if you need anything, even if I’m asleep. And I’m not joking about that part.”
His smile was so warm for just a second, it nearly burned me. “Alright. Thank you again. Goodnight, Giorno.”
I watched him slip into the room, closing the door behind him. The quiet of the night began to set in. He was going to be okay. And he was going to be more so after he gets the news of the others being still, well not alive, but still well.
It was late, but I didn’t sleep. Sometimes it was like that, being what I am, sleeping wasn’t something I often did, though it has been a while since I’ve properly had a good rest, even being half human.
I went on to do some things. Small things here and there, like sorting through work and boring papers. I did this for a couple of hours. There was not a single sound other than perhaps some bugs and such outside. But then I heard it.
An agonized scream from down the hall. From the guest room.
Of course, I rushed over and inside, slamming the door open. “Fugo?!”
He was on the bed, hands over his head. I got closer to him, sure to not startle him. “Fugo, are you okay? What happened?” As soon as he sat down, he jumped. “It’s just me, it’s alright.” I brushed his hands off his head and took on into mine, gently massaging his palm with my thumb. “I’m right here, Panna.”
I watched the fear and anguish melt off his face and his breathing growing more stable. He took a minute. A minute to just sit there and breathe. “Giorno… augh, again with that cutesy nickname?”
“Sorry, does it make you uncomfortable?”
“No, no, it’s not that. It’s actually…” He looked away from me. “... a little comforting.”
“Well that’s a relief. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” I raised his hand up and rested my forehead against his wrist. “So, did you have a bad dream, Panna?”
“Yeah, sorry about the screaming. It’s just… nightmares have been eating at me so much lately. I hope I didn’t disturb you.”
I lowered his hand. “You’re never a disturbance.”
“If you say so…”
“Will you be okay if I left you to sleep again?”
“No!” I gave him a look of surprise. “I… I mean… no. I want you to stay, if that’s alright I mean.”
“Alright, then. Here… “ I shuffled up properly onto the bed from the edge and moved his head to my shoulder. “How’s this?”
“Are you sure? What if I fall asleep?”
“I don’t mind. As long as it helps you, I’m fine with anything.”
“Thank you.” He yawned and nestled his cheek against my shoulder. “Goodnight, Giogio.”
I watched as he smiled and closed his eyes peacefully, slowly drifting off to sleep. His look of bliss was contagious. He was almost… cute. It filled me with such an odd warmth, I couldn’t help but to brush my fingers against his cheek.
It seemed he was out in an instant.
So long we stayed in that spot, it must’ve been an hour, though it felt like more. I shifted positions, careful not to disturb Fugo, setting his resting head on my lap, so he was laying down. It became so much easier to just… run my fingers through his silky hair and smell the faint aroma of strawberry scented shampoo. And listening to his breathing, lips slightly parted.
I hadn’t known Fugo long, but I knew that night I wanted him to be happy. I wanted to make him happy. Before I knew it, I also fell asleep with him right at my fingertips.
The very next day, I was going to see him the happiest I’ve ever seen him.