Work Header

Oxygen Deprivation Makes You Do Weird Things

Work Text:

Jonny D'Ville knew of Earth.


Of course he did, it was the cornerstone of humans spreading out through space and it's commemorated in almost every galaxy in the time after Earth's destruction.


He hated it.


Earth was boring. He went there once, nobody has any sense of sanity and couldn't get out of their thick heads long enough to see the destruction they were causing. They still toured there though, and drew a sizable crowd.


The mortal in charge of the venue made them promise to not shoot into the crowd but of course they did it anyway. Nobody important died, so what was the big deal?


They had left when stuff started getting really bad. It was incredibly sad, not even interesting enough to write an album about.


Jonny started shooting people who claimed to be from Earth without discrimination.


Yet he needed to go back. Back to the ruins of Earth that were abandoned by humanity and all other creatures alike. He off-handedly Ashes that he was going out and when they gave him an alarmed look (-he sounded like Nastya when she left, floating through space-) he told them to come get him in two years if he wasn't back by then. So he commandeered an escape pod that hadn't been used in years but Aurora had kept in working condition.


Jonny made his way to Earth over the course of about a half year.


In this time, in this moment it was a husk of a planet, drained of all the color you could see from far off before, the ocean blue had dulled and the land was no longer colorful. The whole planet was covered in large clouds that obscured most of it.


Jonny didn't know why it hurt.


He tried to shove down the feeling of guilt(? Why the fuck was he feeling guilty, he had nothing to be upset about, Earth had destroyed itself) and just keep moving.


He landed on one of the desecrated landmasses and breathed in...well, nothing. No oxygen here.


Guess he would just suffocate a few times while he was here. Not a big deal. He walked along the landscape, coming across the remains of towns destroyed by bombs that honestly were overkill. Each town he saw made the horrible and inexplicable knot of guilt in his gut grow, and he didn't know why he was so affected by seeing all of this destruction.


And why he felt like it was his fault .


"Archivist? You've gotten taller."


Jonny spun around and instinctively fired three shots at the humanish voice behind him and it? she? they? simply frowned at him. She's a woman. Maybe not a human one, but a woman. He Knows this somehow. He doesn't know why he Knows.


It looked...familiar. And Jonny hated things that looked familiar.


"I don't know this Archivist character but my name is Jonny D'Ville. Who are you?"


Even as he says it he Knows that her name is Helen. 


For the first time in his very long immortality, the first time since Doc Carmilla put the mechanical heart in his chest, Jonny D'Ville is scared .


"Oh, I've heard of Jonny D'Ville." One of her impossibly sharp and long fingers comes up to her chin in a thinking motion. She smiled, wide and sharp. "He was born on some backwater asteroid to some nobodies and was picked up by a Doctor with a taste for blood."


Jonny raised his gun again and fired, somehow missing as Helen seemed to move around the shot, despite it being aimed at her chest.


"Slaughter is a good look on you, Archivist. You're more shoot first, ask questions never now. Less of a coward." She looked him up and down, but at the same time her eyes never left his. "To think you cared so much about being a monster before."


Jonny's head hurts. His finger itches. He needs to die. He needs to clear his head. Oh yeah, he's still not breathing.


He quickly moved his gun from where it aimed at Helen and put it under his chin, blowing his own brains out.


Helen looked a bit shocked before Jonny eventually dragged himself back up, muttering about Ashes' lungs and how they could've come with him. His trademark cocky smile was back and he picked his gun back up.


"Look, lady, I don't know why you know me or think I'm this Archivist person but I've always been me, been Jonny D'Ville, Captain of the Aurora."


She smiled back at him, "Really? Well then, let's put that to the test."


She was suddenly standing in front of a yellow door, and she opened it for Jonny, making an "after you" motion with her long knife-like fingers.


He did the only sensible thing. He went through the door.