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The Intimacy Conundrum

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Days past after that and Sheldon was still apprehensive of what happened the last time he tried to spice things up with Amy and despite Amy's assurance, he still feels like he can do better.

Sex has never been a top priority in Sheldon's life and before Amy, he had never thought of anyone in that way, let alone to make the act more 'exciting'. The only other way he had ever thought of sex was due to his goal to gift humanity with his progeny, but after realizing that he can easily conceive a child through surrogacy, such an intimate act has never even crossed his mind anymore, hence his friends' assumption that he had no deal. They were not wrong per se but with the way his life had turned out, Sheldon wonders whether his lack of experience will make him less than the other guys.

Being near Amy and the other guys for almost every day also do not help this problem because it keeps reminding him of what he still fails to do while his friends manage to succeed with no effort whatsoever.

How can out of all the problems in his life, it's all coming back to intimacy? That has never been an issue so far until his Amy came and wreaked havoc into his orderly life. The weird thing is, he does not mind. He wants to do this, for Amy. After everything she has done for him, all the years she had waited, he wants to give her this. On the other hand, a small selfish and insecure part of himself also thought that if he's less than the perfect Homo Novus he claims to be, Amy would eventually leave him.

He spends a lot of his time just staring into space while his mind's blank. That rarely happens to him. Being a genius ensures that his mind is always running and occupied with anything and everything. Lately, however, his mind keeps running in circles, trying to think the best way to have coitus. He even tried to read erotic novels that made him blush with every word he reads, like Fifty Shades of Grey that he got from Penny as a joke and Kamasutra that the guys gave him just before his wedding. He never thought the books could be useful, not now, not ever.

Changing position? Most of them are so complicated that he does not even know how to explain it to Amy, not to mention, he's not sure his or Amy's body is flexible enough to do most of these positions. They don't even have the adequate body type to recreate even what the book is considered as average poses, not comfortably at least.

Lingerie? He doesn't see the purpose of it considering the most effective clothing to wear during coitus is nothing but if it's about increasing a person's sexual appeal, he wonders whether they have one made specifically for male as he thinks Amy's body is sufficiently arousing just the way it is without the need for any addition.

He briefly considers buying Amy a dildo or a vibrator as a lot of his readings suggested that such a toy would greatly enhance female's arousal especially the vibrating ones but he quickly disregarded that idea. He does not want another male's penis to be inside of his wife, despite it being just silicon made to look like a male's genitalia, what if that fake vibrating penis where you can choose its size and color is what Amy prefers in the future? He cannot compete with that as his own penis could not vibrate nor he is willing to undergo surgery to enlarge what he already has.

Handcuffs? Blindfold? No way in seven hells he would hurt his soft and loveable Amy willingly.

Oh God, why is it so difficult? Maybe he could ask Penny's advice for this? Considering the number of men that had graced Pennys' bedroom over the years he knows her, Penny seems to be the likely expert in intimacy compared to the other guys.

Yes, asking Penny for advice would be a great idea, he decided. He should pay Penny a visit sometime this week.

Nodding to himself, Sheldon looked over the clock on the side of his office's walls and found he had spent another day daydreaming without solving a single equation. It's a good thing that he had won the Nobel and graced Caltech with international prestige. President Siebert had given him a lot of leeways including bonuses that immediately went straight to his deposit, extended vacation days that he plans to save for later dates when he and Amy decide to have children, and of course a tenure even though being a professor is not something he enjoys. His professional life is doing wonderfully. It's only his private life that seems to be going down the drain once again.

Decided it would be a day wasted, he decided just to pack things up and wait for Leonard to drive him home considering Amy is going to meet with the other girls after work today and only would be joining him for dinner later.

While waiting for Leonard to pick him up, he opened his phone to browse a quick dinner recipe. Since living together, he and Amy have started to alternatively cook their own dinner. It is not something he enjoys very much but Amy made a convincing argument about saving up for their future family, so yeah, instead of doing takeout all nights, cooking seems a great alternative, not to mention, it also has a surprisingly calming effect on him.

"Hey buddy, are you ready?" Leonard peaked his head inside his office without knocking.

Sheldon sighed at this bad habit that his friend never seems to get rid of and nodded while gathering his messenger bag. They quickly got out of his office and locked the door before heading towards Leonard's car.

"The girls will still be out until dinner. Do you want to hang out at 4A while waiting for them?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon shook his head no as he still needs to make dinner before Amy gets home. If he hangs out with Leonard, he will not have sufficient time to finish their dinner.

"No, thank you. I need to make dinner before Amy gets home."

Leonard chuckled at this. The sound made Sheldon more confused, what's so funny about him making dinner? Honestly, his friends are so weird sometimes.

"You're whipped! Amy gets you to make her dinner. Not once in my life I have seen you willingly cook for someone other than yourself."

Raising an eyebrow at this, Sheldon answered "First, it's not only her dinner, it's my and Amy's dinner. I don't make it solely for her. I make it for us. Second, what's wrong with not wanting to cook for others when you have a lot of takeaway options? I have never seen the need to cook for you or the other guys as we have our carefully constructed schedule for our takeaway dinner. Third, Amy made a convincing argument to save up money by cutting our takeaway routine."

Instead of being offended, Leonard only smirked at Sheldon's answer before deciding not to reply to that.

"Do you know where the girls are? I need to make sure I choose a perfectly timed dish so it will be finished just when Amy gets home."

Leonard glanced at Sheldon's direction, "I think they are still going to the sex shop. Bernadette and Raj are also going. I don't know why that guy still insists to go considering his lack of love life right now."

Sheldon was surprised by Leonard's answer because he thought Amy would not go after the disaster that happened a few days back, coupled with her assurance of not needing anything from that despicable shop, he thought that's going to be the end of that. Turned out he was wrong.

"Why would they go to that shop?" His voice is getting higher and a wave of insecurity floods his feelings again. No, Amy is not going there because she finally decides he's not enough after their last intimate encounter. She said so herself that she would only be accompanying the girls. She would not buy anything, right? But, his traitorous mind supplied, the girls can be very persuasive and they're the ultimate blabbermouth with no regard to private matters like this. What if Penny and Bernadette share their more exciting sex life and Amy feels the one that they have right now is inadequate? What if they managed to pressure her to try something on and Amy realized all the things she has been lacking so far? What if.

"Most probably they're just going to take a look or buy a little something. I'm curious about what Penny will get. Do you think Amy will buy something as well?"

Leonard's answer did not reassure him at all so he decided to just stay silent while watching the scenery outside, hoping that Amy would keep true to her words.

By the time they arrived at the apartment, Sheldon quickly took off to the fourth floor before immediately entering the 4B apartment. He slumped on the sofa and shot Amy a quick text, asking when she would be home. When Sheldon got a text back from her, he decided to stop thinking where Amy is and what she's doing right now, and start preparing for dinner.

It was an hour so later than he heard the door's opening. Putting down the bowl of mashed potato he's making, Sheldon turned towards Amy, a smile graced his face.

"Hello, dinner is almost ready." Sheldon walked the short distance to his wife and greeted her welcome when he noticed a small bag that's on Amy's hand. It's a small bright pink bag with no brand of the shop printed on top of it and seems to hold several items by the sound of it.

"Hello. What's for dinner?" Amy asked as she allowed herself to be kissed by her husband. She puts down all of her belongings on the sofa except that small pink bag.

Sheldon looked at Amy curiously before answering, "Fried chicken and mashed potato. What's inside that bag? Did you buy another cosmetic?"

Amy blushed furiously at Sheldon's question, clutching the bag tightly, "Oh, nothing just something that Penny got me."

Sheldon frowned at her answer. Her behavior is unusual. He made a move to grab the bag, to check what kind of things their neighbor is getting for his wife before Amy hid the bag behind her, "What is it? Why did she give you something? We are not celebrating anything today."

"Yeah, just something that Penny got for me to try on. I better freshen up a bit." Amy smiled nervously and started to walk slowly to their bedroom but Sheldon was faster. He managed to grab her arm and took the bag from her. Curiosity got the best of him sometimes.

He opened the bag gingerly, considering this is Penny who got this bag for Amy, anything is possible. He was shocked when he looked inside as he cautiously took one item that looked like a brightly colored silicone male's genitalia out of the bag. It's a dildo, his mind supplied, recognizing the appearance from one of the videos he watched as a research a few days ago and if his memory is correct, the small button at the end of will make the toy vibrate. He was speechless. He flopped down on the sofa and put that despicable thing on the table. He's afraid to see what other things are inside that small bag. There are still two items left by the sound of it.

He looked up from his lap to see Amy who looked guiltily at him. She was fidgeting, like a kid who got caught doing something she's not supposed to.

Sheldon really does not know what to say. His mouth suddenly feels so dry.

"Sheldon, it's just a gift. I will keep these in the closet. I will not use them if you are not comfortable with it." Amy put a tentative hand on his shoulder and in a way it feels comforting but at the same time, a feeling of betrayal started to cloud his judgment.

He shrugged off her hand and looked at that brightly colored dildo again. It looks so unrealistic and distracting. He does not want to see it anymore.

"Give it back to Penny then."

"Oh, I-I, well. It's a gift, Sheldon. It would be rude to return it." Amy said as she put the toy inside the bag again, picking it up from the table and clutched it to her chest.

Sheldon looked at her confusedly. Didn't she say it herself that she's not going to use it? What's the purpose of keeping those items in their apartment then?

"You said it yourself that you don't want to use them. Why would you keep them?" Is Amy lying to him now?

Amy smiled nervously, "I-I might want to try them on later? You don't have to join if you are not comfortable with it, Sheldon. People can find pleasure by themselves, even those who are in a committed relationship."

Sheldon balked at her suggestion, "Are you saying that I should sexually gratify myself?"

Amy shrugged at the question, "If you'd like. I wouldn't mind. You are a healthy man and this would be good for your reproductive system."

"Amy, I have never had any interest in coitus before I met you. Why do you think I would enjoy this kind of activity without you being present?"

Amy is fidgeting, Sheldon observed and he's not sure why. It's no secret to both of them that she has a higher libido in the relationship but since their marriage, Sheldon has been trying to even out the playing field and show her how much he wants her. He thought that he's getting better at this, maybe it's not the case if Amy feels she needs other things to satisfy her. It makes him feel that he's not enough, especially in the physical aspect of their relationship.

He really does not know how to react with his new information. He even feels unsettled on how this plastic would enter his wife and touch the part of her that's supposedly only reserved to him. At the same time too he feels ridiculous about being jealous of a toy, it's not like Amy is going to run away with the toy. Right? He still provides her with mental stimulation that she clearly loves.

He knows that he should support his wife and says he's okay with her using toys but he just can't bring himself to do it. Whenever he opens his mouth to say it's fine, he chokes up with the image of Amy's pleasured face as her hand pumps the toy inside her most private part.

"Dinner's almost ready. You better freshen up." Sheldon said to her finally. He's not mad, just confused about how to fix the situation and erase this feeling of disappointment.

"Sheldon.." Amy reached for his hand but he turned too quickly for her to reach it. A few seconds later, Sheldon distinctly heard the door to their bedroom being shut closed, signaling Amy's exit from the room.

Sheldon mindlessly continued finishing up dinner, not thinking about the conversation he had just had with Amy. He silently rubbed his eyes as he stirred the gravy for the mashed potato, feeling drained out of a sudden.

How should he act when Amy comes back? Should he just pretend nothing happens when he wants to throw back the gift Penny got for his wife? Should he encourage her to use it? Does he even want to when he can't even stomach that idea? He's not comfortable with this and where it is heading.

Sheldon sighed again at the absurdity of the situation as he served his and Amy's dinner. He poured a glass of milk for him and ice tea for Amy. As he sat down, Amy reentered the room. She's looking a bit fresher than a moment ago even though she's still wearing her work clothes.

Amy smiled tentatively as she sat down.

"How's your day?" Sheldon asked her, hoping this start of a conversation can put the previous event to the back of his mind.

"It was okay. Do you really don't want to talk about this?" Amy asked as she put down her cutlery and shifted her focus solely to her husband.

"What do you want to talk about? Obviously, I'm not happy but that's your choice. I'm not going to forbid you if you want to seek pleasure in a badly colored, poorly manufactured, and God knows how many people have touched that thing before you use it in what I previously thought only me can touch!"

Now it is who Amy frowned at Sheldon's answer, "Now you are just being ridiculous. It's only a toy, Sheldon and I will obviously wash it before I use it. Don't make a big deal out of it!"

"Well, you were the one who said not going to buy that despicable thing! Does your word mean nothing now? Should I need to keep wondering whether the next words that come out of your mouth is the truth then?"

Amy stood up suddenly while not so graciously putting down her napkin on the table, "I didn't buy it! It's a gift from Penny. Maybe you should be angry with her instead!"

"Maybe I should!" Sheldon mimicked Amy's movement.

"Maybe you should!"

They are standing silently for a second before Sheldon dove in and captured Amy's lips in a heated kiss while his hands are desperately taking off Amy's sweater and blouse. When he managed to get them off, he considered briefly folding them down and putting them on the sofa before he got distracted with the feeling of Amy's covered breasts on his chest. Without much thinking, Sheldon cupped his wife's soft breasts, squeezing them gently before diving in for a harder squeeze. He believes the term is kneading her breasts like pizza dough. Sheldon could feel that her nipples are hardening through the bra she's wearing. He wants to feel them on his hands so without further ado, he unclasped the hook and threw them away, joining the rest of Amy's clothes on the floor.

He cupped her breasts again with determined desperation. He gasped for breath before delving in for a much-needed taste of her nipple in his mouth. Amy's hands are only urging Sheldon further as he sucks and sucks at her now erect nipples. He keeps switching back and forth like he could not decide with one taste better.

He does not even realize it that he's slowly pushing Amy back against the kitchen counter. With one last lick, Sheldon broke contact with her now flushed skin. He looked into Amy's eyes. He must look feral, he thinks as he feels his hindbrain is edging closer and closer to the surface.

Sheldon lifted Amy's up on the kitchen counter which put his line of vision back right in front of her soft mounds. His mouth watered again as his tongue is remembering her sweet sweet taste. They look so inviting, so pale and soft and just the perfect size for his hands to cup, and her nipples, God her nipples, they look like a freshly picked cherry, reminding him of the phrase with a cherry on top.

He does not want to be parted from this beautiful sight ever again so he delved in for another taste while squeezing the other, moaning softly against it as Amy's legs wrap around his waist. By the intensity of her moans, Sheldon can definitely tell that Amy is enjoying this rough treatment.

Sheldon feels like a man obsessed. He keeps saying that he shouldn't be mad but there's no other explanation for this fiery feeling inside him. He's hungry for his Amy and he's going to show her how well he can please her, making sure that whatever that despicable toy does to her, it could not be compared to what he can give to Amy. He's a man on a mission and Sheldon is nothing but someone who's going to finish what he sets his mind to.

He felt Amy's fingers on the edge of his t-shirts, edging him to take them off. Sheldon gladly did so before moving his now free hands to tug Amy's skirts and tights. After unbuttoning it, he managed to take them off in one go.

"Is this how you want it, Amy? Me taking you roughly on the kitchen counter where everyone can just walk in?" Sheldon whispered hotly on Amy's ear before moving those said lips on her neck, sucking it gently which sure is going to leave a hickey there.

Amy could only moan in return and tug his belt off to get what solely belongs to her. It's not the time yet so Sheldon moved her hands away from his pants and put them on his shoulder as he moved his kiss downwards, bypassing her ever so distracting breasts, and immediately dove into her vagina.

The scent of her overwhelmed him as he frantically licked and sucked her labia before making a circle with his tongue on her clit. This is not the first time Sheldon goes down on her, and still, it surprises him how arousing such an act could be. He should be disgusted by the germs but he's not. He loves every inch of her body, including her most private part.

He sucked and sucked before putting two of his fingers inside her wet folds. He was responded by a loud moan as he scissored her, slowly at first but gained an amazing speed as the time went.

He could feel how aroused she is by the dripping of slick on the now ruined kitchen counter. His tongue still switched back and forth between sucking her and lapping now engorged clit. He closed his eyes and just focused solely on the feeling, the taste, and the scent of her.

Suddenly he felt her walls clenched up before Amy cried in surprise as she came. That was fast, Sheldon thought. They have yet to reach the main event yet.

He gave her one more lick before withdrawing all of his fingers and replaced it with his now uncovered penis in one hard thrust. He didn't wait for her to adjust before setting up a grueling pace, pulling in and out as fast as he could get, hitting her deepest part in a fast rhythm.

This position, he decided, is amazing. He could see Amy's face, contorted in tiredness and pleasure, he could see her bouncing tits right in front of his mouth, an advantage that he took greatly, and he could set up the pace as well as the angle of which he drives into her. On top of this, if he just moves his body further down and encircles his arms around her, it gives him the closeness that the cuddling position gives while cushioning his head on her soft mounds and if he moves his face a little bit to the right, he could suck her nipple as he moves into her without the feeling of discontentment.

This is heaven. This is better than the missionary position or any positions that they have tried previously and looking at Amy's face right now with her hands braced on his shoulders as he moves again and again inside her, he knows that Amy loves it as well.

He got distracted again by her bouncing tits that are right in front of his vision so without even thinking about it, he delved in again to taste her, suckling it until it's wet and glistening with his saliva. He wounded his arms around her from previously gripping her hip. His hip keeps pumping back and forth without a break and he can actually feel a bead of sweat running down his back.

It could be minutes or hours but as he feels her walls contracting on his aching dick again, followed with a gush of wetness running down his testicles, he came hard inside her, moaning her name softly against her breast.

They stayed silent as he emptied out inside her. He could feel Amy's hands on his hair, caressing it softly. He gave her nipple one last kiss before looking at his wife, still joint at the hip.

"I-I like this position. We should do it more often." Sheldon said the first thing that crossed his mind and regretted it immediately. That's a very eloquent sentence, Sheldon berated himself.

He was reassured when he heard Amy's chuckles. "I love it too, Sheldon."

"Are you not mad for treating you this badly?" He tentatively asked. His deep fear is hurting his loveable Amy.

"The term is not badly but rough and no, I love it in fact. Are you not worried about the kitchen counter?"

Sheldon slowly pulled out from her and instantly regretted that action as it not only feels uncomfortable but without something to stop his cum, his cum is slowly dripping out of Amy and onto the kitchen counter.

It's the weirdest feeling, a part of him knows he should feel gross-out with a strong urge to purell every inch of this counter but the other part of him feels aroused at seeing the evidence of their mating dripping out on the hard surface.

He decided that if he can put his mouth on Amy's vagina without a single protest then this is not much different than that. He shook his head no as an answer and lovingly kissed her clit as a token of appreciation.

Sheldon then closed the gap between them and gave Amy a slow and sensual kiss that made her toe curled up. They broke apart after a few minutes and Sheldon started to pick up their discarded clothes.

"We should clean up. You go first, I will tidy things up over her."

Amy smiled as an answer and headed to the bathroom as Sheldon put on his brief and started cleaning the kitchen counter. When Amy returned with a sleeping gown, he went to the bathroom to change into his pajamas.

They continued eating their dinner afterward despite it being an hour and a half late. The topic of Penny's gift didn't even pass through their mind and Sheldon finally feels accomplished after a few weeks of disappointment.

This is a good start, Sheldon thinks as he starts to consider new possible and exciting ways to have coitus with Amy.

He's confident of his skills, he just needs to practice and not mention he's also a fast learner.