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But The Hardest Parts Are Always Worth It

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“And then he had the nerve to tell me I needed to get my priorities straightened. As if a third date is more important than my daughter? What world does he live in?” Blaine asked, crossing his arms over his chest and trying not to look like a pouting child. He had a feeling he wasn’t succeeding if Sebastian’s amused look was any indication.

“It’s probably for the best then that your ex didn’t pick Hepburn up, right? Saved you from going any further with that guy,” Sebastian responded, looking down and grinning as the toddler in question perked up at her name.

Realizing she wasn’t being talked to, though, Hepburn turned back to her coloring. Sebastian’s hand was gentle on her side, keeping her stable as she used her markers to draw flowers on his shoulder. Blaine couldn’t help but smile as he looked at them, although the frown was back almost immediately as he thought about how angry the phone call had made him. Sure, Sebastian had a point but that didn’t make it okay. Especially since Blaine had been so mad, he hadn’t even been able to articulate what a dick Jason had been.

“You’re going to set the couch on fire if you keep glaring like that,” Sebastian teased. Blaine narrowed his eyes and Sebastian laughed, obviously not sorry about it at all.

Although, he immediately stilled when Hepburn pouted up at him, poking his shoulder with the red marker over the disruption. “No move!” she told him.

“Sorry, Firefly,” Sebastian whispered, rolling his shoulders once and then steadying himself again.

“Why is this so hard?” Blaine asked, knowing he was being dramatic and not caring at all as he shifted on the couch. “All I want is just to find a nice guy, settle down. I just can’t. Something always happens.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and Blaine had a feeling he knew what the other man was going to say before he even opened his mouth. After so many years, the two knew each other well. “Something like suddenly realizing he’s an awful person and has been since you got together as teenagers?”

Since he couldn’t flip Sebastian off while the other man was holding Hepburn, Blaine stuck his tongue out at him. He watched Sebastian’s lips twitch with amusement, although he didn’t risk the toddler’s wrath by laughing again.

“This isn’t even about him,” Blaine tried to insist, wrinkling his nose when Sebastian stared at him, obviously not believing him. He supposed Sebastian had a point. Blaine had never chosen guys very well. “Okay, not just about him. It’s about everybody I’ve tried to date since. Nothing works. All of them have something wrong with them. Or find something wrong with me. You’d be surprised by how many people don’t want to date a single dad. Or, wait, so many guys don’t want to date a single dad. There are plenty of girls interested.”

“I’m pretty sure Rachel was saying something about how when you’re three shots in-”

“Don’t talk about that in front of Hepburn!” Blaine interrupted, unable to help himself as he sat up and laughed. Blaine didn’t even know when Rachel might have told Sebastian about the drunken kiss the two shared so long ago. That was what Blaine got for introducing Sebastian to his friends, although he couldn’t deny it made him happy that they’d all grown past their teenage animosity. Or most of them, at least. Except Kurt, who had again been too busy to pick up Hepburn when he’d been supposed to earlier that afternoon.

Sebastian just smiled innocently at Blaine, looking down when Hepburn finished her flower with a fancy curlicue. Blaine lifted his arms slightly, expecting Hepburn to jump off Sebastian’s lap and back to Blaine but she just moved over onto Sebastian’s other leg to draw on that shoulder.

“You’re going to find it, you know,” Sebastian said and Blaine was so focused on Hepburn, it took him a moment to remember what they’d been talking about. The words sounded trite, anyway, making Blaine roll his eyes as Hepburn started drawing with yellow on Sebastian. “Your 15-year-old self is sobbing right now.”

“My 15-year-old self has been crying in the corner since I d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d K-u-r-t.”

“Were you two together at 15?”

Blaine scowled, throwing a pillow at Sebastian that Sebastian deftly managed to push aside before it hit him, or the toddler standing in his lap. Which was probably for the best considering Blaine didn’t want to have to deal with his daughter’s temper tantrum. Sebastian was generally weirdly exceptional at heading them off but Hepburn always got crankier than normal when Kurt didn’t pick her up when he’d told her he would. The girl didn’t know the days of the week but she knew when each of her dads was supposed to get her.

“That’s not the point,” Blaine responded, crossing his arms over his chest again.

After looking at him for a long moment, Sebastian adjusted himself so he could rest his hands on Hepburn’s shoulders, leaning in to whisper in her ear. Blaine narrowed his eyes suspiciously as Hepburn capped her marker, obviously distracted by whatever Sebastian had said.

Blaine’s scowl deepened as he wondered just what Sebastian was putting his daughter up to. Sebastian set Hepburn down so the little girl could run towards Blaine, smiling softly at them both when she clambered up onto Blaine’s lap and started moving her fingers along his sides. She was too uncoordinated to really tickle him but it made him laugh anyway, genuine joy and wanting to make Hepburn happy.

“Oh, you think you can tickle and not be tickled?” Blaine asked, smiling as he began tickling her sides back, hearing her screech with happiness. He glanced up, seeing Sebastian watching them before the other man ducked away towards the kitchen. Blaine swallowed hard before focusing back on Hepburn and tickling again.

After giggling together, Blaine lifted her up onto his hip, kissing her temple and heading towards the kitchen with her. Since Blaine had originally been going on a date and Hepburn was supposed to be with Kurt, they hadn’t had a plan for dinner but they’d thrown together pizzas earlier. Judging by the sounds in the kitchen, Sebastian had finally put them in the oven.

“Bash make cookies?” Hepburn asked, lifting her head off Blaine’s shoulder as Sebastian opened the oven and peeked in.

Sebastian laughed, shaking his head. “Not right now, Firefly. Maybe we can make some later. Just pizza.”

“Pizza!” Hepburn said excitedly, obviously not put off by the fact that it was dinner and not dessert. The enthusiasm made Blaine smile, running a hand over her head and setting her down.

“Why don’t you go wash your hands and we can have dinner when you come out?” Blaine asked, barely able to get the sentence out before Hepburn was flying towards the bathroom, eager for her favorite food.

With Hepburn gone, Sebastian turned to Blaine, resting his hip against the counter and staring at him. Blaine smiled at him for only a moment before moving towards the fridge to get out juice to go with Hepburn’s dinner and a water for himself.

“Thank you,” Blaine said after a moment, grabbing a cup from the cupboard and setting it on the counter.

Sebastian blinked, looking startled by the words. “For putting the pizza in the oven?” he asked, opening the door to pull the pan out.

Blaine laughed, shaking his head, his cheeks coloring as he poured juice into the cup. He wished he didn’t have to clarify, that Sebastian just knew because honestly, Blaine wasn’t sure what exactly he was thanking him for. For his pep talk about love? For wanting to cheer Blaine up? For how he always knew just how to handle Blaine’s daughter? “No, I don’t know. For everything you do for me and Hepburn.”

At the words, Sebastian flushed himself, clearing his throat as he got out the pizza cutter and specifically didn’t look over at Blaine. “That’s my pleasure. Don’t worry about it.”

Blaine ducked his head, smiling as he watched Sebastian cut the pizza.

***

As Blaine headed down the stairs towards the living room, he listened to make sure he couldn’t hear Hepburn getting up again. She’d asked a dozen times whether Kurt would be picking her up later, not wanting to go to sleep and miss him. Blaine hated having to be the one to tell her over and over that Kurt couldn’t come again. Not hearing anything, Blaine felt comfortable enough to fall dramatically on the couch next to Sebastian.

“Are you still upset about missing your date with that guy?” Sebastian asked, barely sparing Blaine a glance before he turned back to his paperwork he was reading.

“Jason? No, not really,” Blaine admitted with a sigh, adjusting so he was laying with the top of his head touching Sebastian’s thigh, his feet hanging over the arm of the couch. He felt melancholy, not even sure what was really bothering him. Maybe it was the fact that Jason had reminded him of Kurt in some ways, making him think of how much he longed to be happy again. While his marriage hadn’t been good, it had been nice to be able to just be with somebody, to know somebody had your back. At least, in theory.

“You’re going to find somebody who will treat you like Kurt never did,” Sebastian told him, tapping Blaine on the forehead before turning back to his paperwork.

It was sweet to know Sebastian knew him so well although Blaine had to swallow down sarcastic words about Sebastian’s relationship history.

“What if I don’t?” Blaine asked instead, tangling his fingers and resting his hands over his heart. “What if I just keep trying and trying and never find anybody and end up miserable for the rest of my life?”

Sebastian waited until Blaine looked up at him before pointedly rolling his eyes. “Come on. You’re not even 30 yet.”

“I’m almost there. And my life is already over,” Blaine said, not able to keep his lips from twitching and Sebastian had to laugh along with him.

“You are so dramatic.” Sebastian accentuated his words by smacking Blaine on the chest with his folder, making Blaine huff.

Then Blaine frowned because while it was remarkable how much better Sebastian could make him feel, he didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about Kurt, about how in love with him he was as a teenager, how it felt to constantly dry their daughter’s tears over Kurt’s busy life again. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. What are you working on?”

Sebastian grinned, showing off his teeth as Blaine looked upside down at him. “You always ask me that and then zone out about three words in.”

Blaine drew himself onto his knees, using Sebastian’s shoulder for balance. “I’m sorry I can’t understand your lawyer-ese,” Blaine teased, leaning in to press a sucking kiss underneath Sebastian’s ear.

The other man raised his eyebrows, although he wrapped one arm around Blaine, his hand resting on Blaine’s back as he looked him up and down. Blaine just smiled sweetly, not bothering to feign innocence, knowing Sebastian wouldn’t believe him, as he kissed a line up his jaw before finally connecting their lips. Obviously, Sebastian’s work wasn’t that important since it only took a few moments of kissing before Sebastian was grabbing Blaine with both hands, hauling Blaine into his lap.

“No, no, wait,” Blaine whispered as Sebastian nipped at his jaw. “Hepburn is here. Your bedroom.”

Sebastian groaned in response although he let Blaine pull back enough to stand up. “Tease,” Sebastian murmured, kissing Blaine one more time quickly before he grabbed Blaine’s hand and the two headed upstairs.

It was a welcome distraction. The two had only been living together for a few months before they finally gave in to the sexual tension they’d had since they were teenagers. Two years later, they knew just how to touch the other. With Hepburn home, Blaine pushed at Sebastian’s shoulders, not letting him get distracted with kissing the way they normally did.

He loved when they were both desperate for it, pushing each other against the walls and kissing frantically. But Blaine also didn’t want to confuse Hepburn by having her come out of her room while Blaine and Sebastian were kissing in the hallway. And, while Blaine wasn’t ashamed of his sexual relationship with Sebastian, he didn’t want to have to talk to Kurt about it.

As soon as they were in Sebastian’s room, the taller man pushed the door closed and Blaine against it, kissing him deeply.

It was nice, a welcome distraction and Sebastian knew just how to touch him. They’d learned early on how compatible they were sexually and it was so easy to let themselves get lost in each other.

Blaine never doubted Sebastian wanted him, at least sexually. And Sebastian was generally only too happy to prove just how desirable he found Blaine. Just how much he loved touching him.

***

Blaine let his eyes fall closed, falling down next to Sebastian and letting him pull Blaine into his arms. Blaine went willingly, dropping one more kiss to Sebastian’s lips as the other man laid down. It was so tempting to let himself get comfortable, rest his head on Sebastian’s chest and close his eyes the way he would if his daughter wasn’t down the hall.

But even as Sebastian’s hand moved absently across his back and the other man relaxed, Blaine had to sigh.

“I have to go back to my bed,” Blaine mumbled, sitting up and crossing his legs underneath himself.

Sebastian hummed a little, looking at Blaine with genuine affection in his eyes. “You could stay. I’ve never kicked you out of my bed,” Sebastian said, even though he knew why Blaine would go. Blaine normally did stay on nights Hepburn was with Kurt, too lazy to get up and walk down the hall to his own room.

“I know. But I don’t want Hepburn to wake up and look for me.” Blaine leaned in, resting his hands on Sebastian’s chest and pressing a kiss to Sebastian’s cheek. Then he got out of the bed, reluctantly finding his underwear and pulling it back on as Sebastian propped himself up on his elbow to watch him. “Maybe this is just what I need for the rest of my life. No strings attached, great sex with my best friend.”

“Maybe I’ve fucked you too many times because you’re starting to sound like me,” Sebastian responded smoothly, a grin on his lips as he looked Blaine up and down, watching as Blaine unearthed his own pajama pants from beneath Sebastian’s.

Blaine shrugged as he stood up, holding his pajama pants in one hand as he tried not to look as pathetic as he felt. He was more relaxed after an orgasm but not quite enough. Especially when their conversation was back to what was bothering him. “I just feel like I’m searching for something I’m never going to find.”

“What? Are you about to say love is dead or something?”

Although he hadn’t been, Blaine grimaced anyway. “Maybe it is,” he snapped as he pulled his pajama pants on, watching as Sebastian got out of bed himself and he tossed Sebastian’s pants at him.

“Alright, who are you and what have you done with Blaine Anderson?” Sebastian asked as he pulled his pants over his hips.

Blaine sighed, rubbing the back of his neck for a long moment before he shrugged. “I’m going to bed,” he finally said, knowing he was leaving the conversation half-finished. It wasn’t like he wanted to feel this way.

Sebastian gave him a knowing look that made him want to tell Sebastian he didn’t know him as well as he thought he did. Of course, Blaine was wrong. Sebastian did which was why Blaine couldn’t argue.

“Is Kurt actually going to pick up Hepburn tomorrow?” Sebastian asked as he turned the lamp off on his nightstand, following Blaine out of the bedroom.

“I’m assuming so. But knowing him?” Blaine shrugged, letting out a breath. “Goodnight.”

Blaine didn’t hear Sebastian turn towards the stairs until he was already closing his bedroom door.