Actions

Work Header

My Immortal Run

Chapter Text

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) nadine, johnnywoestar 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Skeeter ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi my name is Johnny Dark’neigh Dementia Raven Way Joestar and I ride horses (that’s how I got my name) & i wear starry shoepants with a feather in my hoodie purple streaks and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Michael Cera (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a mage, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black hoodie with matching feathers in the hat and black leather shoepants wif green starz and a horseshoe on my beanie. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was wheelin outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Johnny!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Gyro Zeppeli!

“What’s up Gyro?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Chapter Text

AN: Fangz 2 johnnywoestar 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was nasty green velvet with lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MLP t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a green  starry onesie, a pentagram necklace, and a horseshoe beanie on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and pulled my hair out of my beanie holes.

My friend, Lucy (AN: shez 17 in dis story) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her shoulder-length golden blomde hair with pink streaks and opened her ocean-blue eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Gyro Zeppeli yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Gyro?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Gyro walked up to me.

“Nyo-ho, Johnny!” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.
“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN NADINE! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the night of the concert I put on my green body suit with horsehoe beanie agen. Underneath them were MLP boxerz. Then I put on a cow print coat with the lace stuff on the back n front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I watched an episode of Death Note while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some green lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Gyro was waiting there in front of his flying sedan with Truck Nutz. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), a belt pointing at his crotch, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Whatz da meaning of my useless existence, Gyro” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Johnny.” he said back. We walked into his flying black sedan (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs, and talked about the Fibonacci sequence. When we got there, he hopped out of the car n picked me up. I blushed goffikly. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and he jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Gyro, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Gyro looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Gyro sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Gyro. After the concert, we drank some cheap wine we got 4 a pic of Jesus (ew) and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Gyro and I crawled back into the sedan, but Gyro didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!

Chapter Text

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok johnny's name is JONIE nut mary su OK! GYRO IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“GYRO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Gyro didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it pikking me up. I was curious.

“What the fucking hell am I living for?” I asked angrily.

“Jonie?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Gyro leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Gyro kissed me passionately. Gyro climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my clothes and I took of his clothes. I even took of my beanie. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I didnt even feel it but I pretended I did. I acted like i was beginning to get an orgasm and cum. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was……………………………………………………Steven Steel!

Chapter Text

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Stevom swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stiven made and Gyro and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Gyro comforted me. When we went back to the castle Steven took us to Professor Wekapipo and Professor Goffman who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor Goffman.

“How dare you?” demanded Professor Wekapipo.

And then Gyro shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Everyone was quiet. Stoven and Professor Goffman still looked mad but Professor Wekapipo said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Gyro and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Johnny?” Gyro asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the  dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a bright orange flower-printed bodysuit with tinsel around it, a huge belt and another horseshoe beanie. When I came out….

Gyro was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘Two Trucks' by Lemon Demon. I acted like I was flattered, even though the song was shit and he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a blue bodysuit with black starz all over it and black & pink stripes on the side of the legs and feather stuff in the hood. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. As always, I put on my horseshoe beanie and pulled my hair out of da holes.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with a yellow mullet with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Gyro's and there was no plaster on his mouth anymore. He had am ugly dinosore tail. He had a fugly English accent. He looked exactly like a pile of stinky shit. As much as I hated to admit he was actually so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m paraglepic so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“You better be you fucking stupid piece of shit. Who are you.” I questioned.

“My name’s Diego Brando, although most people call me Goff-Rex these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I am a dinosaur.” he giggled.

“A REPTILIAN SHIFTER?” I screamed.

“No!” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while even though I dident trust him at all. I asked him about his home planet but he kept insisting he isn't a reptilian shifter, like every other reptilian shifter out there. Then Gyro came up behind me and told me he had a new lesson for me so I went away with him.

Chapter Text

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Jonie isn’t a Marie Sue ok he isn’t perfect HES A SATANITS! n he has problemz hes depressed 4 godz sake!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXZXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gyro and I held our pale white soft hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red star sings on my nails n hands in Tusk nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I flipped off to Goff-Rex. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Gyro. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Gyro. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my beanie. Then I took off my bodysuit and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in my HUGE ass and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Gyro, Gyro!” I screamed while pretended gettimg an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Gyro's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Goff-Rex!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, rolling out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand! You don't understand the Golden Ratio yet!” Gyro pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then wheeled out. Gyro ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Goff-Rex's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Wekapipo and some other people.

“DIEGO BRANDO, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

Chapter Text

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da animye ok so itz nut my folt if stevon swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson wekapip dosent lik diego now is coz hes christian and goff rex is a satanist! MCR ROX!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Gyro for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Gyro.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with donut hair and American flag and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn’t have a clone and he was wearing all white n it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Valentine!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Valentine shouted “FILTHY ACTS FOR A REASONABLE PRICE!” and I couldn’t run away.

“TUSK ACT 4! ORA ORA ORA ORA” I shouted at him. Valentine fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Johnny.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Diego Brando!”

I thought about Goff Rex and his sexah eyes and his gothic ugly mullet and how his face looks just like a reptoid. I remembered that Gyro had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Gyro went out with Goff Rex before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Valentine!” I shouted back.

Valentine gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged. I had to discover Goff Rex's home planet first!

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Gyro!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Valentine got a dude-ur-so-stoopid look on his face. “I hath D4C.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Goff Rex, then thou know what will happen to Gyro!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Gyro came into the woods.

“Gyro!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi. Nyo-ho-ho” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

Chapter Text

AN: stup it u gay f*gs if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out h'ot pants isn’t a nun afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was really scared about Vlantine all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are H'ot Pants, Goff Rex, Gyro, Tim (although we call him Devil now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Pocloco. Only today Gyro and Goff Rex were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Gyro was probably slitting his wrists n studying geometry(he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Goff Rex was probably watching a depressing movie like The Land Before Time. I put on a black leather hoodie with feathers in the hood and a skin tight matching shoepants that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Johnny! Are you OK?” H'ot Pants asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Valentine came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Diego! But I don’t want to kill him, because, even though I hate to admit he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Gyro. But if I don’t kill Diego, then Valentine, will fucking kill Gyro!” I burst into tears.
Suddenly Gyro jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser spin user wannabe! Was Lesson 5 for the sake of THIS?” (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Gyro started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Stovne Stele walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Johnny Gyro has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend naidne 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! H'ot Pants tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I wheeld to my room crying myself. Stevon Stell chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and got into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed (like always) ! I got out of the bathtub and put on a cow print suit with milk all over it sandly. I put on wrist cuffs with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Wekapop was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Mageta was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT! LESSON 5 WASNT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Goff Rex ran in.

"RRRRAAAWWWR!" he yelled at Wekapopo and Magnta pointing his womb. I chewed sum chamomile and shot Wekapo and Magenta a with teh Infinite Rotation and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Stevly Steel ran in. "Johnyn, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Wekapopo and Maganta and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Pococoloco ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Pocolooc? You're just a little Steel Bal Run racer!"

"I MAY BE A STEEL BALL RUN RACER…." Pococoloco paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Wekap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Stevon's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY! I'M STILL IN THE NEGATIVE, I JUST WANT TO BE ZERO!" I yelled in madly.

Maganta held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood or see a white mouse scuttling across your room.

"Why are you doing this?" Magonta said angrily while he licked his dirty hands clean then rubbed them on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Pocoloco said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his piece of gold in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Wakapipo asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HIM!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok poceloco is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no wekpipo iant kristian plus pocolcolo isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was soudnman ok!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the steel ball that Gyro had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must pray to have a safe voyage, cross the Atlantic Ocean and go home together.

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Wakapip and Magnta and POCLOCOCO were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot boiz. Stevon Stell had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Poceloco came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Jonie I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up LUCKY preppy human beings like you." I snapped. Pococloclo had been mean to me before for being gottik and misfortuante.

"No Jhnonny." Pocolococ says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses. How dare anyone bought me anything. DON'T BE FUCKING NICE TO ME, GOD DAMN IT!

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Wkeapipo and Magonta." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo! WHAT'S COOLER THAN BEING COOL? ICE COLD ALRIGHT ALRIGT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep. He was still lucky though so I still hated him.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Gyero?"

Pocilococ rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Jonny," Stevly Steel said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF YOU OLD MAN! I am lucky. heehe" Poceloco yelled. STEvony stel lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Poceloc stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, stevin stell!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a white hoodie pink starry shoepants n tied an american flag arund my waist. My beanie has some horseshoe stuff on the front. Then I put on my hoodie feathers and armcuffs wirh pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on hot pink lipstick, black eyeliner and blakc lip gloss.

"You look kawai, man." H'ot Pants said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too. It's almost like we both murdered our brothers how matching" I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I studied geometry totally depressed and I shot all my nails. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Wakapipo and Megenta couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Goff Rex was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Gyro had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Gyro. He was eating a bear raw with a cup of coffee spilling from his mouth crack as always.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Fuck off." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Diego had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Gyros. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. his dick was tiny and I still hated him

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor Goffman who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Goff Rex you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Gyro!" I shouted and then I wheeled away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! RRRAAAAAWWWRRR!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I FUCKING KNEW YOU WERE A REPTILIAN SHIFTER!" I shouted.

"I AM NOT!! I'M JUST AN ANIMAGUS YOU STUPID TWINK" he said back. "Anyway my tail hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Gyro….Valantine has him bondage!"

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 NADINE MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY NADINE DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER IS

Chapter Text

AN: nadin fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of komeda but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Goff Rex and I wnet up the stairs looking for Steven Stole. We were so scared.

“Stevon Stevon!” we both yelled. Stovin came there.

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

“Valensine has Gyro!” we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in his old crusti man voice.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Gyro!” we begged. At lest I did.

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Valansine does to Gyrno. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Jhnony.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. Goff Rex started crying. “My Gyro!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot! doble gay!!!)

“shut the fuck up!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in TEH BLAK HOUSE!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “FILTEY ACTS FOR A REESONABLE PRICE!”
It was……………………………….. Valentine!

Chapter Text

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! nadin fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXX

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Valansine was. It turned out that Valentine wasn’t there. Instead the fat guy who killed Saundman was. Gyro was there crying tears of blood. Mrs Robenson was torturing him. Diego and I ran in front of Mrs Robinsno.

“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with my nails he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his bug filled eyes. “JohnnyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

“Huh?” I asked.
”Jonhny I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Mrs Ropinsom. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you BUG FUCKING BASTARD.” I said angrily. Then I shot him with teh infinite rotation. He looked like deiced salami.

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died and bugs crawled out of his bode. I brust into tears sadly leike how i always do.

“Mrs Robinson what art thou doing?” called Volentine. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our horses and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Goff Rex went away. There I started crying.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Gyro taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and steel ballz and everything.

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be like other girlz n boys n prepz except H'ot Pants becoz shes already minus too.”

“I have no idea what are u saying but I love u as you are.” answered Gyro.

“I don't get why everyone is in love with me! Like Wakepiop and Maganta took a video of me naked. Pcoloco says he’s in love with me. Goff Rex likes me and now even Mr Robenson is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Gyro! Why couldn’t Satan have made me ZERO?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory johnyn isn’t an emo or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes disapointment) “Im a disappointment to my familey!! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I wheeled away.

Chapter Text

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 nadane 4 hlpein!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Johnny Johnny!” shouted Gyro sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Goff rex!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my vomit green key. It had a picture of Marelyn Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Gyro and Goff Rex. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my cow watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic bodysuit that said Moo on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Neigh all over them with blood red letters. I put my piss blonde hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black cow. Suddenly the cow turned to Gyro!

“Johnny I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful boy in the world. Before I met you I used to want to kill crimanals to carry on family jon. Now I just wanna fucking be with you and show u my Fushigi trickz. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “The Cheese Song” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when he was writing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that had spinnign nails and were entwined with Gyro's now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Magante shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

Chapter Text

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! naden u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn komemaeda pstr ur supsd 2 rit dis! Nadiene wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 kelliferd5655 4 techin muh japnese!
We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Gyro thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a green cow suit with a horzshoe beany. was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and balck pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Valansine and da D4C cloens!

"Wtf Gyro im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Gyro promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Jnony! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da chees song' again.

I was flattened cause that's not even a reel song, he had wrtten da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

H'ot Pants was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Lucy that fucking poser got expuld. she had 2 go his as da first laydey." (an: NADEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

"It serves her rite or not Wat Ever." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Lucy will becom jesus." I said.

"Kawai." H'ot pananTs shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I faked her death lol."

"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with Gygo tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

H'Ot PanTs Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "H'TOT PANTS are u a PREP?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Gryo or MOuntain Goth or Gogf Rex(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

"Stevom Steel." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."

"OMFFG STEVEN STELE?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and H'OT Pants asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday wkaepipo and maganta tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, wheeling out of the changing room wearing a long green dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit for my udders to stick out.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said H'ot Pant.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's Johnby Dark'neigh Dementia GREEN way what's yours?"

"Prezzy V." He said and ran a hand through his donut-styled hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf gyro you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Pocoloco flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG JOHNBHY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz h'ot pantz isn’t rely a prep. Naden plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Prezzy V gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Pocololc kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Pocoleco?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Lucy came. Pocovco went away angrily.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Lucy's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short pink dress wif roses and fluffy boots n everytjing. She had a really nice face wif big eyes and everything.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Goff Rex?” she asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

“I’m gong with Sugar Monutain.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Goff Rex and Sugar came. goff Rex loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht i was ot 2. Sugagr was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing a grape pin. Goff rexc was wearing black tripp pants, a gothic gren GC turtlenedc and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. H'ot Pants was going 2 da concert wif Dr Dragon. Dr Drgaon used to be called Dr Ferdinand but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampire dragon sicenceists. They dyed in a lion attack. Dr Ferdidnand converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a white lab coart, black jeans and shoes and red roses on hsi chest and blondf hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dr Dragon now. Well anyway we al went 2 Goff Rekcxs black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad DIO gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Gyro and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Gyro. Gyro and I came. It was…….Vlaalntine and da D4C CLOENS!

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Jonei, I told u to kill Goff Rex. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and GYRO!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his gun.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had short hair and a biiig frown. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlalantine ran away. It was…………………………………STEVON STEEELE! 

Chapter Text

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz h'ot pantz isn’t rely a prep. Naden plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Prezzy V gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Pocololc kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Pocoleco?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Lucy came. Pocovco went away angrily.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Lucy's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short pink dress wif roses and fluffy boots n everytjing. She had a really nice face wif big eyes and everything.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Goff Rex?” she asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

“I’m gong with Satan Monutain.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Goff Rex and Satan came. goff Rex loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht i was ot 2. Satan was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing a grape pin. Goff rexc was wearing black tripp pants, a gothic gren GC turtlenedc and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. H'ot Pants was going 2 da concert wif Drago. Drago used to be called Ringo Roadadgain but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a true amn world duels. Drago converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a balck MCR shrit blakc skinny jeans n shoes and a skull bread. We kall him Drago Devilagain now. Well anyway we al went 2 Goff Rekcxs black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad DIO gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Gyro and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Gyro. Gyro and I came. It was…….Vlaalntine and da D4C CLOENS!

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Jonei, I told u to kill Goff Rex. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and GYRO!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his gun.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had short hair and a biiig frown. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlalantine ran away. It was…………………………………STEVON STEEELE!