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Back to December

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“Hey,” Beca almost whispered.

“Hello,” Chloe replied in a neutral tone.

“I’m glad you made time to see me,” the brunette said, “how’s life? How’s family? It's been a while since I’ve seen all of you”.

“Yeah, almost five years Beca,” the way Chloe said her name sent shivers down Beca’s spine. There was something bitter in there, something broken, almost dark, and Chloe was anything but dark. At least, Chloe, she knew a long time ago.

“I’ve been good, busy. The work has been crazy. How about you?”, redhead asked.

They talked about work, weather, made small talk, avoiding the big crater between them. Beca knew Chloe’s guard was up, and she couldn’t blame the girl. How could she trust Beca after what she has done? After she had run away, never looking back.



“Hey baby,” Chloe chippered, embracing Beca.

“Hey, you,” Beca hummed back.

“I have something for you,” the redhead stated and rushed to her car. “I know that our anniversary is not until Friday, but I couldn’t wait,” the girl talked while looking through her car, pulling a single rose. “I know you are not one for flowers, but I just saw it, and it reminded me of you…”, Beca barely registered what Chloe was saying. The anniversary was ringing in her head like dozens of cannons firing at the same time. They’ve been together for almost a year. It just dawned on Beca that this could be her last relationship, her ever after, and she is bound to mess it all up. Her heart was beating so fast that she barely registered anything else.

“Beca… hey Beca… are you okay?” Chloe’s voice was pulling her out of the state of complete panic.

“I… I have to go... ” she mumbled, threw a rose, she didn’t remember getting on the ground and run.  



They stood there, looking at each other, that’s when Beca really took in the way Chloe looks. She was wearing a dark blue suit, heels that made her even taller, and a heavy-looking coat to protect her from the upcoming winter. That’s when Beca realizes she doesn’t know this Chloe, this power oozing, a serious-faced person standing in front of her. All the love she felt belonged to that cheerful, ripped jeans wearing girl Beca left five years ago, one cold December night. However, she still needed to apologize, Chloe deserved that much.   

The brunette cleared her throat and started talking, “I’m sorry for that night, I really am. You have no idea what I would give to go back to December and fix it ”.

Chloe stood there, not saying the word, just looking at Beca, concentrated like she was trying to solve some grand mystery. The brunette took that as a sign and continued talking.

“I flipped out, and when I realized what I’ve done, it was already too late. Turns out, being alone ain’t nothing but constantly missing you. The pain is a constant reminder of my stupid and reckless action. It didn’t take long for me to realize what I had when you were mine”, Beca finished.

“There were days, sometimes weeks when I couldn’t sleep, thinking about you and me. Playing back in my head, the look on your face when you left. For a long time, all I felt was pain, until one day I stopped feeling altogether”, Chloe spoke slowly, tears falling down her face. “I wasn’t enough, you are the person that knew me the best, and you just left. You threw everything we had, years of friendship, a year of love. Yeah, I too wish for you to turn back to December and at least break my heart in person”, the redhead whispered last words.

“Not a day goes by that I don’t miss your smile, your face, your arms that could hold me and ground me like nobody else. You are the only person that ever saw me cry” Beca took a step forward, and she was now standing face to face with a crying redhead.
“This is my wishful thinking. Probably mindless dreaming, but I wish to have another chance to show you I can love you right. And I know you will need time to see I’m not running, I’ll wait for as long as it takes Chloe. I want to get to know this version of you, and to earn forgiveness”, brunette’s hands were slowly reaching for Chloe’s. They were standing, looking at each other, holding hands. They cried, for what ifs, what could have been, and what it is. 

After a while, Chloe finally spoke, “maybe one day, we will get over that December,” and that was enough hope for now.