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A Bouquet Of Drabbles

Chapter Text

Blondie: Did you get my gift?

She chewed her tongue while trying to craft the perfect response.

Hermione: They’re amazing! Did a trace tell you when they were delivered?

It wasn’t a complete lie. The huge bouquet was amazing.

Blondie: What kind of shoddy delivery service doesn’t have a trace?

GinNTonic: Does Draco know you at all?

Apparently, Ginny had popped into Harry’s office today.

Hermione: It’s the thought that counts

GinNTonic: I just double checked to make sure I hadn’t accidentally texted my mum

Blondie: Want to know what else I’d love to trace? 👅🍑

Hermione: 🙄

GinNTonic: You hate roses. Everyone knows that.

Pans: Ron Floo-called, laughing smugly. Did Draco really send you roses?

Didn’t anyone in the Auror office have actual work to do?

NotTed: Roses are red, violets are blue, Draco’s an idiot, he doesn’t deserve you

That answered her question.

Hermione (to Ginny): It’s Valentine’s Day - it’s traditional

Hermione (to Pansy): Roses are traditional for Valentine’s Day for purebloods too, right?

Hermione (to Theo): You’re a git

Hermione (to Draco): Is there an extra fee for your services? 😉

Blondie: We can negotiate a trade

Hermione: Let me know the price during lunch. You’re coming to my office first, right?

Blondie: I’d like to be coming IN your office, but I’d make sure you came first.

Her reply was made moot when—

Blondie: Pansy just messaged me some nonsense about Weasley saying I sent you roses?

Pans: Draco said he didn’t send the flowers because roses on Valentine’s Day are gauche. He sent Gerbera Daisies.

TBWL: Ron thinks I need to check your roses for dark magic

Oh great, now Harry was involved.

GinNTonic: I agree with Ron

GinNTonic: You just looked to make sure you hadn’t accidentally texted my mum, didn’t you?

Mrs Weasley didn’t own a mobile, as far as Hermione knew.

Blondie: I sent you Gerbera Daisies. Your favorite flower. Not bloody roses.

She snapped a picture of the overflowing vase.

Blondie: I’m owling the florist to complain

NotTed: I overheard Red saying she knew something was wrong when roses arrived instead of daisies. I assumed something was wrong when flowers arrived.

Blondie: The owl came back. There’s microscopic print - if they can’t fill an order, they have the right to substitute flowers of their choosing, as long as it's of equal value.

Hermione (to Pansy): Stop riling everyone up

Hermione (to Ginny): If you want my flowers checked for dark magic, I want you checked for the Imperious. YOU AGREED WITH RON

Hermione (to Ron): Did you send pansies to Pansy again this year?

Hermione (to Harry): I know how to check my own deliveries for dark magic, thanks. Shall I come teach you how to cast Expelliarmus?

Hermione (to Draco): Owl back. Threaten that your father will hear about this. Or Neville. The florist will probably be more frightened of Neville.

Hermione (to Theo): Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m your boss, and your yearly review is due