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making a list

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“Fuck.” Scully reaches for a tissue to dab away the red now pooling below her knee. She grips her bath towel, holding it around her with one hand.

That’s the last time I buy razors from the dollar store.

She groans, stamping her feet slightly as she attempts to stop the blood flow with her mind. Mulder is twenty minutes away, and her hair is still wet.

Normally, she wouldn’t care. Having worked together for the past seven years, to say he’d seen her at her worst would be an understatement. But this is new Mulder. This is the Mulder she has sex with. It’d been a few months, but she couldn’t shake the fluttering in her stomach when she thought of him in that way. It started angry, and passionate. After everything with Diana, letting him back in was difficult. Of course, there was no issue letting him in. That part seemed almost instinctual, like a need to reclaim her territory, over and over and over. Letting him back in emotionally, to those hidden parts of herself he’d slowly gained access to over the years, was another story.

But, she finally started to soften, finally allowed herself to be vulnerable with him again. Now, he is gentle and slow and careful. Almost too careful. She missed the initial passion, that instinctual need to dominate. They’d been meeting at his apartment, but tonight he is coming over to hers. Coming over to not work. Coming over to put his callused hands on her face, around her neck, down her back, in her-

A quiet knock at the door. She jumps, dropping the bloody tissue onto the terracotta tile. She stays still a moment.

That can’t be him, he said 7:30.

She hears a familiar voice echo through her thin apartment walls. “Scully, it’s me!”

“Dammit,” she whispers, throwing her sweater on over her head, grimacing as the fibers stick to her still damp skin.

“Yeah, Mulder, just come in” she shouts, more high pitched than normal. An attempt to mask the blatant irritation in her voice.

“It’s locked!”

“Jesus Christ,” she mutters, zipping up her pants as she hurries through her living room.

She opens the door, her breath catching the second she sees him. He stands fiddling with poorly balanced to-go containers, his hair damp, and his face cleanly shaven. Her stomach flips at the thought of him getting ready to come see her just as she had. Jesus, sometimes she felt like she was sixteen around him.

He looks up suddenly, “Hey! I brought Chinese. I hope you’re okay with–”

“You’re early,” she interrupts, spinning on her heels in retreat to the bathroom. “I’ll just be a second, I need to finish drying my hair.”

She feels a warmth slide around her waist.

“Why bother,” he whispers into her temple, kissing the spot his words touched.

She leans into him, already feeling a slight hardness against her lower back. She closes her eyes and smiles, all irritation melting away with his touch.

“It’s gonna get all flippy and weird,” she protests, sinking more comfortably into his embrace.

“I like it when your hair is all flippy and weird” he continues, this time into her neck, “Mmm, you smell like lavender.”

She tilts her head, allowing him to kiss down to her collarbone and shoulder. She spins around to face him, their lips meeting before their eyes. She wraps her hands around the nape of his neck, pinching his hair between her fingertips, opening her lips slightly. His tongue brushes along her bottom lip as he pulls her body flush to his. She whimpers into his open mouth as she feels his length against her lower stomach.

A crash. She whips her head free just in time to see the to-go containers Mulder had precariously balanced in one hand crashing to the floor of her apartment. A mixture of orange, white, and yellow seeping into her tan carpet.

“Is that egg foo young?” She asks as they kneel down together to salvage the mess.

“Yeah, you ordered it one time a few years ago when we were on that case in San Francisco and wouldn’t stop talking about how good it was and–”

“That’s so thoughtful, Mulder, thank you.” She kisses him gently, kneeling above their massacred meal.

“I am so sorry, do you want me to go pick up more?”

“No, it’s okay I think I salvaged most of it.” She stands, moving to bring the stained cartons to the kitchen.

“Okay, I’m gonna use your bathroom to wash up,” he yells over his shoulder, walking with his sticky hands outstretched in front of him like a little boy playing zombie.

She smiles to herself as she cleans the egg off her hands. Hearing the water in the bathroom twist off, she inhales deeply and starts.

“You know, Mulder, I’m not really that hungry right now.”

She holds her breath for a moment.

“I may need to work up an appetite.”

Her eyebrow arches and she exhales quickly. She’s working on being bolder. At no response she tentatively calls.


His footsteps quickly tumble down the hall. He stands at the end of the hallway holding the red speckled tissue paper. Her brow furrows when she sees the tears in his eyes.

“Mulder, what’s wrong-”

“What is this?” He says with a quiet urgency, clearly trying to control his emotions.

“What is what Mulder?” Scully starts, confused.

“This tissue. I saw it on the floor. Are you— “ He inhales sharply, the tears moments away from spilling.

“Oh my god, no. I cut my leg shaving.”

He exhales an audible half sob half laugh.

“Jesus. I’m so sorry I thought— It's just that your nose would, before— Ha, wow I’m sorry.” He wipes at his eyes quickly, breathing long and slow.

She steps toward him, his eyes staying downcast as she gets close. She twists her head down into his line of sight.

“Hey, look at me,” she whispers softly.

As his head tilts up she catches his lips with a gentle intensity, eliciting a warm flutter deep in her stomach. She pulls back and holds his face in her hands.

“I’m okay. I’ve been okay.” She circles her thumbs against his skin just under his sideburns.

“I was just saying…” She drags one hand down his chest and stomach, “...that I’m not feeling very hungry right now, and I may need some help building up an appetite.”

Her hand reaches his tenting pants. She grabs his hardness and squeezes, exhaling sharply as his mouth involuntarily falls open. He wraps his arms around her waist.

“That's something I can certainly help you with.”

He hoists her into the air and she instinctively wraps her legs around his center. They’ve gotten pretty good at this. Lips entangled, he carries her to the bedroom and places her softly in the center of her comforter.

She squirms underneath him as he kisses down her neck slowly, leaving a light trail of saliva that glistens in the hazy bedroom light. He lifts her sweater up and over her head, blood rushing to his lower extremities as her milky skin enters his line of vision.

He kisses her breasts slowly and methodically. Lifting her head up off the bed, he reaches behind her to undo her black lace bra, one he’s never seen before. Peeling the lace off of her skin, he sucks each rosey peak languidly, humming, barely audibly, as they harden beneath his tongue.

“Mulder,” she starts quietly. He moans low into her chest in response. “Don’t be gentle.”

His mouth freezes in it’s position. He lifts his head to look at her.

“You don’t like it when I’m gentle?” Her heart sank slightly, he sounded hurt.

“No– no, baby, I do.” She runs her fingers through the swoop of hair just above his forehead, “You just don’t have to always be so careful with me. I can take it a little…. harder every once in a while.”

His eyes flick back and forth, scanning her face for any hint of emotion. Her eyes don’t falter, and she meets his gaze with more intensity than he expected. Her mouth slightly agape, chest rising and falling in rapid succession, thighs tightening around his hips.

A mix of mischief and adoration wash across his face and he smiles.

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

He reaches down in between her legs, unbuttoning her pants and pulling them away. He inhales when he’s met with bare skin. She notices.

“You were early I didn’t have time to–” She gasps as he presses his thumb firmly into her clit.

“I love it.” He leans down to kiss her, but as she opens her mouth in preparation he pulls away. “I want to take care of you first.”

He suddenly plunges three fingers inside her, nearly covering his knuckles in her wetness. She cries out involuntarily, her hips writhing underneath him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he nearly growls.

“Mmm, you make me so wet, ah–” he curls his fingers forward, hooking them onto her pubic bone.

He begins circling her clit with his thumb, pulsing his fingers in and out. Scully starts panting, trying to resist completely crying out.

“Fuck, you’re so good at that.”

Kissing down her stomach, trailing his tongue along her tight muscles, he grins.

“You know what else I’m good at?”

Before she can respond he licks up her folds to her clit, slowly, applying an even amount of pressure.

A low, guttural moan escapes her lips as her hips buck against his face. He draws her towards him with his fingers still hooked inside, and she whimpers, putting her fingers in her mouth, desperate for something to bite down on.

“I love hearing you baby, let it out,” he groans into her center.

Rhythmically pumping his fingers, as if beckoning her towards him, he begins to circle her clit with his tongue, gaining speed as her breath quickens. She pulls up the comforter, turning her face into the fabric.

Suddenly, he pulls away. She whines uncomfortably.

“If I can’t hear you, I’m going to stop.”

Struggling to catch her breath, she wiggles her hips toward him, desperate for contact.

“Please, Mulder–” she gasps as he pulls his fingers out of her quickly.

She throws her hands against the bed in defeat.

“Oh my fucking god, I’ll let you hear me, just please keep going,” her irritation fading into desperation.

Mulder laughs, “Okay, are you ready?”

Scully rolls her eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me? If you don’t fuck me right no– OH my god!”

He plunges four fingers into her, pumping them at twice the speed. Quick gasps escape her mouth before he even re-introduces his tongue.

“Oh… my… godd,” she pants, gripping his hair with one hand and the now damp comforter with the other.

“You like that?” He grunts in between the rhythmic circling of his tongue on her clit.

“Yes, yes, I love that,” she almost shouts, her words devolving into a high pitched moan as her climax washes over her. “Mulder, don’t stop, don’t stop. Oh...God...

Her legs stiffen and her toes curl, heals digging into his upper back. The energy of her orgasm jolting her upper back off the bed, her head falling back. Her body begins to shake, his cue to slow his tongue and fingers.

“Yes, baby, just like that. You’re so beautiful.”

With a shudder and a gasp she falls back onto the bed, beads of sweat rising on her forehead and chest. He stops completely as he watches her chest rise and fall. She puts a hand on her stomach, trying to calm.

He kisses up her body, starting at her toes; finding the newly scabbed knick on her knee; grabbing her hand and kissing every knuckle. He finally reaches her face. Her eyes are still closed and he kisses each eyelid. She giggles, and sighs slowly, content.

“Don’t get too comfortable, I’m not done with you yet.”

Her eyebrow arches and she opens her eyes, that familiar feeling already reigniting in her abdomen. She looks at him, his lips pink and swollen, reminiscent of her glistening on his chin.

“Fuck, you’re amazing,” she says, pulling his mouth to hers.

Mulder whines into her throat as he feels her hands undo his pants, slip into his boxers, and wrap around his length. He shimmies his (luckily loose) jeans down to his ankles, kicking them off. He moves to kiss her neck, but as she tightens her grasp he can’t help but bite down into her flesh.

Scully yelps and he lets go immediately.

“I like it, Mulder,” she reassures him as she reaches further down to grip below his hardness.

“Ohh,” he moans and bites down again, this time into her collarbone.

With an exhale, she pulls his length in her hands to the side, propelling him to flip onto his back. He gasps, closing his eyes as she licks down his body, the tips of her nipples brushing against his skin as she moves.

“Look at me,” she commands, as she presses her breasts together, sliding them slowly down his shaft.

“Jesus, Scully.” He throws his head back, gently stroking her hair as she wraps her mouth around his head.

She loves seeing him like this. She smiles as she works her tongue around his tip, tasting him seeping through.

“Thank you,” he whispers under his breath.

Lowering her fingers to knead his most sensitive area, she braces herself against his thighs anticipating his tightened legs and jolt upwards.

“Scully, I’m gonna come,” he breathes quickly.

She kneads with more pressure, taking him further into her mouth in preparation for his release.

“Oh my g– honey, hold on, please.”

She halts immediately, lifting her head up, unable to suppress the giddy grin spreading across her face at the sound of him calling her honey. She crawls her way up to his face again.

“Are you okay?” she asks, leaning into him tentatively.

He grabs her face in both of his hands, looking at her as if she’s the most stunning piece of art he’s ever seen. She is the most stunning piece of art he’s ever seen.

“I couldn’t be more okay,” he says kissing her hard and long, flipping her back into their original position.

“I just want to finish,” he presses his tip against her opening, “like this.”

She giggles as she squirms closer to him, looking into his eyes with a mixture of love and pure uninhibited desire.

“Mulder, please,” she pauses and takes a breath, “Hard.”

He obeys, and thrusts suddenly into her, watching her eyes widen and mouth open as she cries out reflexively.

He’d normally be terrified of hurting her, entering slowly, allowing time for her to adjust. But this is what she wants, and the husky, “yes,” that escapes her throat immediately reassures him that she’s okay. He thrusts into her again, pausing to breathe as he fills her as deeply as he can.

She groans low, sounding almost primitive, attempting to relax her walls to take him in further. She strains to keep her eyes open, trying to cement the moment into her mind, into her memory.

Following the momentum, he grabs her hands from her sides, and pins them above her head, pressing her wrists into the bedding. Suddenly, she feels a tightness spreading across her chest. Her eyes dart around erratically and her body stiffens.

Mulder notices this change and slows his pace, expecting her breath to slow with him, but it only quickens.

“Scully, are you okay?”

He stops moving completely, still holding her wrists. He inspects her face, her body. The primitive, sexual expression seeming to instantaneously disappear. Instead, he notices unmistakable fear flooding her eyes. 

“Mulder, please stop,” she whispers.