Actions

Work Header

My name on your skin

Chapter 33: Soonyoung's disease

Notes:

I'm so sorry T___T

I got the second vaccination and got a little sick after that. And since I was absent from work...the stressful time became even more stressful X_X

A lot of other stuff happened, too. Like the last time, I can't promise you, that it will get better =( Sorry

But since I got asked - If you are not registered here and want to find out when the new chapter will be out, feel free to follow me:
Twitter - GIxGA
Tumblr - GIxGA
Instagram - gigas17latibule

I will start to post an update.

Thank you all so much for your feedback <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"If you really think so, you should go." said Jihoon calmly when Mingyu stopped crying. He had held back when Mingyu was so upset. Instead, he sat down with Wonwoo and left it to Seungcheol to calm Mingyu down.

He had looked at Wonwoo. His bandage around the head. The bandage around his wrist. From Coups stories he knew that he had to have one around his stomach too and that his shoulder was bandaged as well. When he saw Wonwoos face, which looked so lifeless, he felt sick. All the tubes he was hanging on ... and then Mingyu actually dared to say something like that.

"What?"
“You should go! Do you really think Wonwoo needs this now? Do you think he wants to wake up and hear that you haven't forgiven him? Mingyu think about it! He loves you. You are his soulmate. I'm not saying that what he did was right. But you should at least give him the chance to explain it to you."
“I wouldn't have told him that! I have to be here. He ... the bond... his healing ..."
Jihoon laughed out loud. "And that makes it better? That you lie to him too? Give him hope again? "
"I don't know what to think either!"

They got more and more into it and got louder so that Mingyu was almost yelling at him. And it only made Jihoon angrier.
Only when Coups stood between them, he interrupted their argument. "Hey, calm down."
But it didn't calm him down a bit. It rather directed his anger towards his soulmate. “We'll talk later! If I lied to you ... wouldn't you have given me a chance? Would you have just given up on all of that?"
“You know very well that this is something completely different. Mingyu has the right to be angry if he wants to. You can't deny him that. You're not in his situation.” Coups spoke calmly and firmly. “You both seem to care a lot about him. Should you really be doing a scene like that? Here? Now?"

 

Mingyu suddenly felt worse. He looked at Wonwoo, but he hadn't moved. He would never have said it in front of him. No way. He went back to him and sat down on the other chair and took Wonwoos hand in his again.
"I am sorry."
Mingyu didn't look up when Jihoon apologized.
“Mingyu… you didn't want him to remove the tattoo. Can you really not forgive him? "
“I don't know myself. It's all so chaotic. It wasn't that long ago that I thought I really love him. But ... he lied to me. I ... I was afraid for him. "
"And how do you know he's Wonwoo?" It wasn't until Seungcheol asked this question that Mingyu looked up. Right in Jihoons caught face.
“I saw him in his studio a few days ago ... he wanted to remove his tattoo. It looked like this at least...he- "
"That was the day we were with my parents," Mingyu interrupted. When Jihoon nodded, he looked back at Wonwoo and sighed. He didn't understand. Why did he want to remove his tattoo? Did he wanted to lie to him forever? But even while he was thinking that thought, the scene before their date in the bathroom came to his mind. When Wonwoo asked him not to let him get away with it. He didn't want to confess his love to him. He wanted to tell him the truth.

It was getting too much for him again. The expectations of Jihoon, the thought of Wonwoo and everything. He let go of his hand again and got up with a jerk.
„Mingyu-“
“Please stay with him. He should ... he shouldn't be alone when he wakes up. I ... I have to get out. I need fresh air. "
It wasn't fair, but he escaped. He just had to go. He couldn't be anywhere near Wonwoo. Close to the soulmate bond that would heal his pain without his wanting to.

 

Soonyoung didn't come back. Seokmin had waited day and night. But nobody knocked on his door. Nobody rang the bell. He didn't hear any noises in front of it. And he hadn't written him any messages either. There were no calls. Seokmin often looked up the chat with Soonyoung and read the latest messages.

Sleep well Seokmin ~ The evening with you was really wonderful, thank you very much.

I'm sorry if I took you off guard. I just wanted you to know.

Is it crazy when I write that I miss you? Is that what soulmates are all about?

Maybe you're asleep already. Sorry, I annoy too much sometimes. Get in touch when you have time, ok?

I miss you, too.

He typed the words in so many times, but he could never send it.

It was clear, wasn't it? Soonyoung couldn't love him either. It would only be a matter of time before he lost his next tattoo.

 

Mingyu left Wonwoos room and headed for the exit. On the way there he took out his cell phone. He still had to call in sick at work. And maybe he could ask his mother to bring him a few things from home. He didn't even know whether she was here at the moment, working or off. But everything was fine with him, as long as he didn't have to be around Wonwoo.

But he didn't reach the exit.
"Mingyu? How did you know he was back here? "
Mingyu froze. Soonyoungs mother. "Soonyoung ... he's here?" That would explain why he never answered lately. Neither him nor Jihoon. Shit, did he sound sick? Mingyu had spoken to him on the phone. Only briefly ... but he should have heard it.

“He got sick again. Very badly.” Before she spoke any more, tears came to her eyes and Mingyu knew it before she said it: “His results are pretty bad, and his kidneys are failing.” Maybe it wasn't right. But Mingyu was so relieved to get away from the topic of Wonwoo. He took Soonyoungs mother in his arms. Caring for Soonyoung was something he knew; he was good at. He knew what to expect and how to deal with it. After he finally persuaded him to go out with him, Soonyoung had told him at some point. That he was sick and there was no cure. That his kidneys would eventually fail. And only if he was lucky and got a transplant in time and his body tolerated the new kidney he could continue to live with it. Every time he got seriously ill, they feared for him. There were examinations every 3 months and often the devastating answer came that his results had gotten worse again. That his medication had to be increased. It was foreseeable, but hearing it now felt wrong.
"Is he in this room? Jihoon is here too, I can get him,” Mingyu asked.
Soonyoungs mother shook her head. “He's currently on dialysis. He wants to be alone in this, Mingyu. He also didn't want you to know that he was back in the hospital.
Dialysis. When he heard the word, he didn't want anything more than to stand by Soonyoung. Soonyoung had told him again and again that he was frightened of it. And now he wanted to go through it alone?
"Let's go outside, it will do you good." If he couldn't help Soonyoung, then at least he could help his mother.
“Mingyu, you don't have to do that. I don't want to stop you from doing anything. "
For a moment his guilty conscience grew louder. He should be with Wonwoo. But he successfully suppressed it, shook his head and smiled at her. "All good."

 

They still hadn't made it out of bed. Hansol lay on his stomach while Seungkwan sat next to him and looked at his back. He traced the tattoos on his back. The many names.
"Who is No Donghyun?" Seungkwan asked when he followed the first name again. He wasn't jealous. Not after what he knew now. And since his name was also on Hansols back, he felt a little ... proud? After all, he was the only one whose name appeared twice on Hansols body. And he wouldn't mind his name being the last.
"He was my first soulmate." Hansol turned his head so he could look at Seungkwan. “He already removed my name during my trainee period… at least that's what I thought. He was also on the list."
“I'm sorry.” Hansol was still very concerned with the subject. Seungkwan wished he could do something, but what could he do about that?
"Do you think it's bad that I have so many?"
Seungkwan withdrew his hand. He was number seven. Not number six. But what mattered one more soulmate? “At first yes,” he honestly admitted, “but now… no. As long as I'm the last one, I don't mind. You are at least honoring your past soulmates. I had my first one removed. Because I didn't feel any magic between us. That is much worse."
Hansol sat up. “I'm glad it turned out that way. When I imagine someone else got you That you would love someone else and not me.” And with such words Hansol set a swarm of butterflies free in him again.
"With you I can feel it, Hansol," he burst out.
It put a grin on Hansols face. "Pity. I was hoping you would have chosen soulmate."
Hansol destroyed the whole moment. But Seungkwan was not angry with him. He had to laugh. "Maybe later."
Hansol leaned over but was cut off when his cell phone rang. With a frown, he reached for it instead.
Seungkwan sank back into the bed. Yesterday they still managed to let the most important people know. With him it was his mother (not that she was worried about where he was) and with Hansol it was his manager. So who could bother them now?

Hansol looked very serious and gave short answers. When he was done, he still looked on his mobile phone for a moment before turning to Seungkwan. “I'm supposed to come to the police again today. They ... they have him. Really this time."
He was relieved. They were safe. But when he looked at Hansol, he sat up. "Everything okay?"
"Yes, I ... it ... everything is fine."
It didn't take a soulmate bond to realize that Hansol was not doing well. Seungkwan put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. He didn't yet know what Hansol needed. Would he let him hug him? "I'm coming with you!"
"You ... you don't have to."
"I know. But you don't have to go through it alone. You have me now.” He was about to put his arms around Hansol when the latter got ahead of him and hugged Seungkwan. "Thanks"
They stayed like that for a while before Hansol moved away a little, looked Seungkwan in the eye, and then leaned over and kissed him again.
"Shouldn't you go to the police?" Seungkwan muttered between Hansols tender kisses.
"Today is still a long time."

 

They sat down on a bench after walking in a little silence through the small park of the hospital.
"Why are you here?" Soonyoungs mother asked him, breaking the silence.
For a moment, Mingyu thought about not telling her the truth. He didn't want to be judged again. But it was a lie that had brought them into this situation. He sighed heavily once before answering, "My soulmate is here." It was all he managed to get out. He couldn't say more about it. If she started to judge him ... he just wanted to get away from it. From all the allegations and the thoughts of Wonwoo.
“You found him? Congratulations Mingyu. At least you have the chance to be happy ... I would have liked it so much for both of you ... for you and Soonyoung. But it was probably better that way.” Mingyu grabbed her hand as her eyes began to shine again. She gave him a short, slight smile and dabbed the tears away with her free hand with a handkerchief. “I am so grateful to you for everything you did for him. You've really helped him a lot over the past few years. After Minwoo ... he really needed it."
Now the tears came to Mingyus eyes as well. What Soonyoungs mother said ... only confirmed the thought that he shouldn't have pushed Soonyoung away. Soonyoung now needed someone to look after him, who-
“What about Seokmin? Is he here?"
Her face fell a little and she shook her head. "No. Soonyoung doesn't say much about it. I just only found out when he was sick and wanted to see him that they fought ... he didn't forgive Soonyoung."
"I ... I can be with him, then you can rest." It had to be difficult for his parents to do everything on their own.
“No Mingyu. If your soulmate is here, he must be sick, you should take care of him. It is no longer your job to take care of Soonyoung. You deserve to be happy."

Could he be happy? Did he really deserve it? “I ... I never wanted a soulmate. I wanted to decide for myself and not let fate force me into something.” Finally, he could say it in front of her.
Soonyoungs mother nodded and squeezed his hand. It was much easier to talk to her than it was to his friends ... or when he imagined he had to discuss the matter with his parents. Even if they raised him differently ... his dad knew Wonwoo, and his mother was a doctor through and through. If it were up to her, he would have to be with Wonwoo and that would inevitably mean that he forgave him and the wrong feelings intensified. No ... this was better. Soonyoungs mother had always been so understanding.
"Who says you can't choose your soulmate?"
"It's wrong. The soulmate bond... it... it heals. And-” Mingyu cut himself off when he realized what he was saying. The soulmate bond. The healing. Could it help Soonyoung too? He jumped up and looked at Soonyoungs mother.
"That's it! We have to get Seokmin here."
"Mingyu ... it's not just his kidney. His liver results also worsen. The chances that we will find a suitable donor kidney are not very great. If it continues like this, he will also need a new liver. It will ... if all goes well, it will take time. Soonyoung has ... Soonyoung has given up. He doesn't want to do it to anyone to wait so long for him and hope that everything goes well. That's why we weren't allowed to tell you anything. He's afraid that it will repeat itself with Minwoo."

Soonyoung has given up.

The words echoed in his ears. No. Why did he just give up? Soonyoung had remained positive most of the time, despite his illness. “But if he heals Soonyoung, it doesn't have to drag on. I will bring him. I promise it. Everything will be fine!” Before she could say anything, he jogged to the entrance to take a taxi. He would bring Seokmin here. He just had to do this for his soulmate. He completely ignored the fact that he was abandoning his own again.

 

They had finally made it into the shower and got dressed. Vernon couldn't get enough of Seungkwan. They didn't even know each other for 24 hours and he already knew that he couldn't live without him anymore. Or wanted to. While Seungkwan brushed his hair and put balm on his lips, Vernon watched him.
"If we are seen together outside, it won't be long before someone finds out about it." They hadn't talked about it yet. They hadn't really talked about anything after Seungkwan came to him in his bedroom. But it was time to bring it up. "Do you agree with that? Or do you want to change your mind?"
"Change my mind? Change my mind?” Seungkwan asked indignantly and Vernon was instantly relieved. What would he have done if Seungkwan wasn't ready? Didn't want him?
Seungkwan put his hands on his hips and looked at him. "I had to wait long enough for you, do you think I didn't have time to think about it?" Seungkwan came up to him and he became gentle again. It was amusing to watch. With Seungkwan he wouldn't be bored anytime soon. "Let's show all that you are mine." He gently stroked Vernon's hair before he cupped Vernon's face and kissed him.
"Yes, let's show them all."

 

Mingyu had been driven home briefly to change. Maybe he shouldn't show up at Seokmins place with blood stained clothes. He was glad that he had to pick up Soonyoung at that time and that he had learned the address from him, because it made it easier.

So now he stood in front of the door and rang the bell. But nobody opened it. Hadn't Soonyoung written something like that to him? Didn't this Seokmin even live here anymore? Shit, how was he supposed to get to his new address then?
"Who do you want to go to?"
Mingyu turned when someone spoke to him. It turned out that this person was an old lady. "Ah ... I ... hello. I wanted to see Lee Seokmin. "
"You, too? First this nice young man and now you? Does he have a new soulmate again?"
Nice young man? Was she talking about Soonyoung? “No, I'm not his soulmate. I'm a ... friend of the young man. Soonyoung. His soulmate. "
“I was wondering why he didn't show up anymore. Did he got his tattoo removed? I couldn't blame him. He has to sit in front of the door every day and wait and is not allowed in.”
What? Mingyu knew Seokmin had not forgiven Soonyoung. But that Soonyoung came here every day and waited for nothing... no wonder he was sick and felt so bad. The very thought made Mingyu angry. If he didn't need Seokmin ...
"Do you know if he's there?"
She nodded and finally opened the door. “He's almost always there. I don't think he's really working. Or at least not often. Sad such a waste of his life. "
Mingyu wasn't listening to her properly anymore. His mind was on Soonyoung. That he came back here day after day to ask for forgiveness from a soulmate who no longer wanted him. What kind of messed up world was that?

The old lady took him to Seokmins door and there Mingyu knocked on the door. This time he didn't have to wait long for the door to open. Seokmin stood in front of him. Mingyu was still so angry. Maybe it wasn't just the anger at Seokmin, but also the anger at himself and the whole situation. But before he could really think, he punched Seokmin in the face. When the latter staggered back in shock, Mingyu entered. "How dare you?"

Mingyu didn't hold back. Only when his anger had subsided a bit did he let go of Seokmin. When he looked at him, breathing hard, he had no guilty conscience. His lip was split open and he looked pretty battered. But he deserved a lot more! "Why don't you fight back?"
Seokmin had endured his punches. Now he sat up. "I ... I deserve it," Seokmin began. He raised his hand to his cheek, grimaced before continuing: “No matter why you're here. When it comes to him, I've deserved a lot more. "
He hadn't expected that. Mingyu sat down on the ground across from Seokmin and watched him. “Then why didn't you let Soonyoung in? You rejected him every day!"
Seokmin winced and closed his eyes. He shook his head. "I ... it's not that easy."
"Not so easy. He would have chosen you, you idiot! And you rejected him. No matter what he did, shouldn't your soulmate bond endure something like that? "
Seokmin said nothing more. God, Mingyu hated such people. They preached all the time about their oh-so-great soul mate bond and then it broke at the first problems. He would have been through anything with Soonyoung if he had been let.
"He's in the hospital."
He wanted to hurt Seokmin. Even more than he'd already done. A scornful snort escaped him when Seokmin finally looked at him again. "What?"
"Because of you." He should grab him and drag him to the hospital. But this ... he had to do this. He needed this. Finally, he could focus on something other than - damn it.

Mingyu stood up. He would not be able to escape from the subject. Wonwoo followed him everywhere. He could still do it in the car. Who knew how long Soonyoung would take to heal? Not ... that they were too late. Damn it, he should have come to see him. To look after him. Why was he doing it all wrong lately?
“I don't care if you want to avoid him any longer, but you have to come with me. As much as I'd like to keep hitting you, he needs you. You may be his only rescue.” He interrupted Seokmins stammering, which he wasn't really listening to anyways.
"I...no. I come with you!"

They were silent on the drive. Surprisingly, Seokmin came with him right away. He had neither objected nor accused Mingyu. Seokmin looked at his lap (Mingyu often glanced at him when he had to stop) and looked dejected. Unfortunately, Mingyu felt guilty as a result. How he'd treated him. Maybe Seokmin had already forgiven him? Was there something else behind it?
"He has a kidney disease," he began. He hadn't told Seokmin the whole truth and in fairness he should. “Ever since he was born. It’s not a severe disease progression, but we all knew that his kidneys would fail at some point. He should actually take care of himself…” Mingyu broke off. He didn't even know what he was allowed to tell. Would Soonyoung reproach him? “He probably doesn't want you to know. Especially not because you are to blame for his situation. He was sick at first and because he came to you every day and had to wait outside in the cold, he relapsed. He has to be careful with every severe flu. And this time it was too much."
He glanced at Seokmin again. Tears ran down his cheeks. “Does he need a new kidney? Is that why he needs me? He ... he can have it. I do everything."
"No. Maybe. I don't know.” He was way too confused. Why was Seokmin pretending to be the one who was not feeling well? Soonyoung was the one who got hurt. Soonyoung just hadn't told Seokmin the whole truth.

Suddenly Mingyu pressed the brakes. Shit.

Shit. He was such an idiot! He only heard incidentally the cars honking behind him and how Seokmin spoke to him. Wasn't it ... the same as theirs? Wonwoo had just kept something from him. But he? Shit. He must have hurt him so much. Mingyu remembered the details Wonwoo told him about his soulmate. He had seen him with someone else. He remembered the time Wonwoo had withdrawn from him. Shit. He had to go to him.

His vision started to blur. Mingyu rubbed his eyes irritably and then drove off. He had to go to him. He had to make it up to him.
“You just have to be there for him. He needs you. He is your soulmate. No matter what he did. He needs you. “, He said to Seokmin. Or himself.

He was driving too fast, but he just wanted to go to Wonwoo. He had let him down for too long. He managed to get Seokmin to Soonyoungs hospital room. “Don't show him your tears, he doesn't like that. I'm sorry about earlier. ", He called out to Seokmin as he ran to Wonwoos room.

He yanked the door open and frightened Seungcheol and Jihoon. He only gave them a quick look before rushing over to Wonwoo and taking his hand. "I'm here. I am so sorry. I'm here now. I won't leave you in the lurch anymore. I'm so sorry, Wonwoo."

Notes:

Remember when I told you I messed up the timeline? The Soonyoung thing should happened before and Minguy was supposed to find out about the healing through this. Also he was supposed to put Mingyu on the right path. Now it seems just like the same story >_<