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Disappearing Lines

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The scene was so familiar, but the feeling around us was so different. Fans stood in front of us as we stood on stage, the lights of their cameras flashing as they snapped pictures, some of them taking videos. An MC stood off to the side as we were asked questions and guided through little games that made us laugh, that made Gulf accuse me of cheating every now and then. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. I’d never tell him, but he knew whether I was or wasn’t anyway. Sometimes it wasn’t full cheating, just bending the rules a little. They’d never expressly said that I couldn’t do it, so was it really against the rules.


“I know you get asked this a lot, but everyone really enjoys it when you doit.” We both turned our attention from waving at the flashing cameras to the MC who was speaking with polite smiles. He gave a friendly one of his own as he gestured to the crowd in front of us. “Everyone really enjoys it when you pick him up, Mew. Would it be alright with the two of you if you did that today?”


It was amusing to think about the last time I had picked him up. Many things had occurred between the times. The last time, though he had covered his nerves about it happening up to everyone else, I had been able to see them. He had been nervous about me picking him up, he had been keeping a small distance between us the entire day that day. Nerves had been coursing through him nonstop, a nervous energy always dancing around him. I had wondered, a few times, if he would end up running off the stage and an excuse would have to be made for him.


When I had said that I had lost my grip on him when I had picked him up, it hadn’t been a complete lie either. Maybe half of one, but there had been a truth behind it. I had set him down quicker than I would have previously because being that close to him was causing problem for me at the time too. Having the knowledge that I had then, coupled with the desire that I had, I had needed to put him down far quicker than normal. The scent of him, the closeness of him had been too overwhelming for me.


I had laughed it off in the moment but focusing again had been a struggle. All I had wanted to do was think of him. Not that he wasn’t constantly on my mind away. The casual touches were easier now, though. I knew when we returned home, they could wander to more intimate touches if we were both awake enough for it to occur. I knew I could draw him in to curl up against me instead of having to part ways with him to have to sleep through the night without him.


I turned towards Gulf and laughed when he turned towards me, his arms held out to his side as he had always done before when I picked him up. The crowd in front of us let out delighted screams and I tipped my head, lifting my brows a little towards him. A completely different reaction to before. Then he had looked calm and happy to do it but had been nervous. Now he looked calm and happy to do it and I could all but feel the pleasure at the thought coming from him. He’d told me once in our late-night conversations that he enjoyed it when I picked him up like this, enjoyed the sense of security he found in my arms.


The sweater he wore was a little too big on him, the sleeves going down to his fingertips as he curled his fingers around the ends of his sleeves and wiggled his arms at me, a grin on his face as he gazed at me. When I made no move towards him, he glanced towards the crowd in front of us and they gave cheers of encouragement, making me laugh as he looked back at me, He wiggled his arms a little faster in a silent request for me to pick him up.


I crouched down a little and placed my arms beneath his butt, giving him a bit of a makeshift seat, before lifting him up, his arms going around my neck instinctively. At one point, I would have been aware of the flashing cameras, would have been aware of the pictures being snapped as even as I gazed up at him, but I wasn’t aware of them as I looked up at him down, saw the delighted smile that lit up his features. It was a smile that reached his eyes, made his nose scrunch up in the way that I found to be adorable.


There would be complete adoration on my face, I was certain of it. There would be no mistaking what the look was, no questioning it, it would be plain as day and no hiding it, but strangely I wasn’t concerned about hiding it as I looked up at him. There were already questions that circulated between the fans, among reporters. Perhaps, in time, we would let them know in full, but it wasn’t to that point yet. It was still new enough to us that we were exploring it and discovering things ourselves.


But a little bit at a time wouldn’t be so bad.


Gulf looked down at me and I smiled at him, that smile softening as he tipped his head towards me and let his cheek rest against my forehead. I closed my eyes and accepted the warmth of love that washed over me. I heard the delighted sounds from in front of us, the flurry of snapped pictures, but they weren’t the thing that I thought of as I savored the moment of intimacy with him there, though those present wouldn’t realize that’s what it was.


What I thought of was how, as our relationship progressed and moved forward as it was, there were moments of our love being captured by many as they snapped pictures and shared them. There were pictures we took together and shared, took together and kept just between the two of us but there were still times where we were too busy to capture a moment together, but could return to the moments because of the images that the fans captured for us.


It was a beautiful thing to think about.




Gulf landed on the bed with a delighted laugh when I gave him a gentle shove onto it, his laugh filling the room as he gazed up at me. Amusement lit up his face, his smile bright and his cheeks flushed as he let his arms fall to rest on the bed, his hands on either side of his head. We had been bickering the entire trip to the bedroom. Not true bickering, where either one of us were truly upset, but the teasing kind of bickering. I had messed up my wording of things earlier and he’d been teasing me relentlessly since I’d done it, letting it drop before bringing it casually back up, sending everyone dissolving into laughter all over again.


It hadn’t bothered me at all, if anything I found it just as amusing as he did. It was embarrassing, messing up my words, but the way his face lit up as he laughed made me focus on anything but that embarrassment. All I focused on was the delight on his face as he laughed, as he poked fun at me and made me laugh along with him. He flashed me a grin as I gazed down at him, the innocent expression he put on his features one that I knew was a complete lie.


I had seen how devious he could be, how he used that innocent look to work in his advantage.


“Are you done making fun of me, Gulf?” I asked and shifted onto the bed with him, moving my body over his. He gave me another small grin and his hands skimmed along my sides slowly, causing me to jerk away from his touch, a playful expression darting over his features as I grabbed his wrists. His grin widened when I pinned his arms on either side of his head, the innocent look he gave me never slipping from his features.


“I wouldn’t tease you, Phi.” He shook his head, a small pout slipping onto his lips when he leant up for a kiss and I moved back out of his reach. “Why would I tease you, Phi? I’m a good boy, I wouldn’t do something like that, would I?”


I pressed my lips to his forehead before I hovered my lips over his. When he lifted his head towards me, I leant out of his reach once more, a small smirk playing over my lips as he gave a soft whine of frustration. I saw the desire beginning to creep into his gaze when he looked at me, my denial of letting him have my lips against his fueling that want inside of him. I gave his wrists a soft squeeze, drawing his gaze from my lips to meet my eyes.


“Don’t move your hands from here. Understand?” He bobbed his head in a quick nod as he curled his fingers into the sheets, like they would anchor him there and keep him from moving. I slid my hands from his wrists to the buttons on his shirt and began undoing them slowly, enjoying the way that his breath quickened the further down my hands trailed. Holding still like this wasn’t the easiest thing for him to do, I could see the urge to touch me in his eyes when I glanced back up at him.


“Why can’t I move my hands, Phi?” He asked, his breath leaving him on a soft shudder when I eased his shirt open and slid my hands up along his sides. Color rose in his cheeks as my hands trailed back down his sides, my fingers trailing a slow path over his cock that strained against the confines of his pants. A soft whine escaped him as I slid my palm over him, the small amount of friction I gave him not nearly what he desired.


“Because you weren’t a good boy, Yai Nong.” I replied. I undid his pants and freed him from their confines, stroking him in a slow motion that had him rocking his hips into my grasp. His lips parted on a soft moan as I slid my thumb around the head of his cock, his hips lifting into my touch. “I know you want to touch me too, but you have to behave yourself first. You keep your hands there until I tell you that you can move them. Can you behave yourself for me, tua-eng?”


He gave me a small nod even as he gave a soft sound of protest as I let him go to tug his pants and boxers off, amused when he helped me to kick them free. I retrieved what I needed from the bedside table before I returned to him, his gaze following me as I went. The denial to touch for either one of us was torture, something that we both disliked. We were used to doing it, to holding hands, to resting hands against legs or arms, I was used to having my arm around his waist, having his weight leaning into me during interviews. I knew this would be torture for him, but I also knew that when he did finally touch me, it would be just as sweet for me as it would be for him.


Because I would suffer just as much as he would.


I drew him into my mouth on a slow glide that had his breath hitching, had him lifting his hips towards me, seeking further entrance into my mouth. Instead of giving him what he desired, I eased myself back, releasing him to slide my tongue along the vein in his cock in a slow motion that caused him to whine in the soft sound that I loved to hear so much from him. I couldn’t help but give a soft chuckle as I glanced up towards him.


“Feeling needy, baby?”


“Y-Yes.” He said softly. At least he was honest, I would give him that. In the beginning, he had been shy about telling me what he wanted, if he desired anything. It was his introverted nature, I knew that, accepted it willingly, knew that he would gradually come out of his shell, given time. And slowly he had begun to, he had begun to tell me what he wanted, what he desired, when he desired something. It was something that we were figuring out together as things went along.


I took him into my mouth slowly once more, my grasp going around him as I stroked him in slow motions as my head moved along him in a pace that I knew wasn’t quite what he wanted. It was just slow enough, just teasing enough to make him moan in frustration as his hips rocked into my mouth, an action that I allowed him. It was when I felt his fingers tangling in my hair that I gave him a soft sound of scolding and halted my movements, that I fell still against him. His frustrated moan filled the room, his hands fisting into the sheets once again as I lifted my gaze towards him.


“M-Mean. You could let me t-touch your hair.” He whined, his hips lifting off of the bed as I slid back along his length. Perhaps he was right, I could let him touch my hair, but I knew the longer I denied him, the better his reaction to being able to finally touch me would be. And I would suffer just as much as he did, since I desired the feel of his fingers tangled in my hair as he rocked his hips into my mouth. It was a feeling I had come to enjoy, having them tangled there as I edged him higher with my mouth. They would tighten when I prepared him for me, when my fingers eased inside of him to bring him a new form of pleasure.


Now just soft moans filled the room as I began to prepare him, my fingers sinking into him with ease. His hips rocked back and forth between my mouth around him and the fingers that teased at the bundle of nerves inside of him, never quite knowing which sensation to follow after more. If he had the freedom to touch me, the grip on my hair would be tight by now, a gentle guiding of my actions likely would be underway as he tried to seek out the release that I kept just out of his reach, kept him just shy of finding.


Even without his fingers in my hair, I knew when I needed to back off. His breathing quickened, the rocking of his hips gradually became quicker, the bitter taste of precoma hitting my tongue. A soft sound of protest came from him when I released him, a frustrated whine filling the room as I ran my tongue along the vein in his cock. I knew what he wanted, knew what he desired from me and I would give it to him.


In time.


“You’re frustrated, aren’t you?” I couldn’t help but laugh when he gave me a small scowl, his fingers flexing over the sheets before fisting in them once again. I eased off the bed slowly, amused by the small scowl that remained on his face as he watched me unbutton my own shirt to leave it hang open. His gaze followed my hands down, watched as I removed my pants and boxers. I started to shrug my shirt off when his words made me pause.


“Leave it on.”


Not what I had been expecting, but I would do as he asked, I would leave it on if he wanted me to. I moved back to him, back onto the bed where I tore the condom open and rolled it down over myself before easing into him slowly. I watched as pleasure settled over his features, a soft moan coming from him as color touched his cheeks. It was a sight that I would never tire of seeing, seeing the pleasure settle onto his face, watching as his body responded to me.


My hips met his in a slow and teasing pace, the retreat and forward motion a direct contrast to the hard and fast pace that I desired to take with him. I craved to have him whimpering beneath me as I took him, something I would have in time. His legs drew back and pressed against my sides as I sank deeper inside of him, a soft moan escaping his parted lips. I leant over him; my weight braced on my forearms as I let my lips linger near his ear. It was a move that I knew would send little thrills racing through his body. I knew his ears were sensitive, I knew how he would respond to the proximity.


“Does it feel good, baby?” I asked softly, felt him nod as his skin brushed against my cheek. I sank deeper inside of him, his breath hitching as I rocked my hips slowly into him. The soft whimper that came from him, so close to my ear was thrilling, would never cease to be thrilling no matter how many times I was graced with hearing it from his lips. “I know you want more from me. I can feel it. You can go ahead and say it. It’s just the two of us here.”


“I promise to be a good boy, Phi.” He moaned, his head tipping to the side to expose his neck to me. I dropped a soft kiss to his skin, finding my favored spot, making him tremble when I nuzzled the spot slowly. I doubted I would ever figure out why he was so sensitive here, but I suppose it didn’t really matter. It would forever be one of my favored spots simply because he was so sensitive there. “P-Please, Phi. I promise. I’m sorry for misbehaving. I won’t do it again. I’ll be your good Yai Nong from now on. I promise.”


He was lying, we both knew it, but that was okay. He misbehaved and I let him get away with it, enjoyed the bright smile that slipped onto his face when he got his way, wasn’t bothered at all by giving him what he wanted. He didn’t ask for much, didn’t ask for extravagant things in serious ways. And when his mischievousness tipped far enough into the realm where he got scolded, it ended up being fun for the both of us. It was when his mischievousness tipped far enough into that realm that he wanted to be scolded, wanted my attention in just this manner.


When my hips met his faster, harder than before, his hands left their position in the blanket and fisted into the back of my shirt, a soft cry of pleasure filling the room. I didn’t scold him for moving his hands this time, didn’t care that he had. He clung to me as my hips met his in hard motions, his nails grazing over the back of my shirt as he repositioned his grip, soft whines coming from him. Perhaps that was the reason for his wanting the shirt left on; he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t leave scratch marks this time.


I could feel his fingers playing over my back as he adjusted his grip repeatedly, his hands never staying in one place for too long. It was something that he did constantly, even when we had filmed, his hands would roam slow paths over my back, his fingertips would stroke gentle paths along my skin. It had been torture in the moment for me then and it still was, though I could now have him as I had wanted him then. Then I hadn’t believed that I could have him as my own, now I knew I could. Now he was mine, just as I was his.


His nails grazed a slow path along my back, the fabric of my shirt sparing me from any potential marks that he could leave behind. His breath hitched as his fisted his hands into the side of my shirt, his body moving willingly with me when I slid a hand beneath him to tip his hips up towards me. He rode on the pleasure that swam over him, his eyes partially closed, his lips parted as soft moans and whimpers escaped him.


Gulf was my picture of perfection. Not just now, when he was beneath me. I certainly enjoyed the sight of him there with flushed skin and mused hair. He was my picture of perfection in any sense. When he woke up with his bedhead, when he was tired after a long day’s work, when we had the odd day off and just stayed at home doing absolutely nothing. He was by no means a perfect person, no one was. He had his faults and his flaws, just like everyone did, but he was perfect for me. That odd missing piece that fit perfectly when he’d come into my life.


“P’Mew…” His voice was soft, breathy as he said my name. I touched my lips to his neck, a silent gesture for him to say what he wanted to say. His head tipped to the side and I peppered soft kisses over the skin that he granted me access to in the motion. “I want Phi to touch me. Please.”


“I am touching you, tua-eng.” I murmured softly, sliding my hand higher over his ass. I couldn’t help but smile when he shook his head, watched him as he drew his lower lip between his teeth and bit down against the whine that he tried to stop. “Not where you want me to touch you at? I should find where you want my touch at then, shouldn’t I? I can’t be mean to my tua-eng. I have to take care of him, don’t I?”


I slid my hand up and cupped his cheek as he gave me a small nod. I knew where he wanted my touch at, it was an easy guess, but I enjoyed the reactions he gave to me as I slid my hand down along his body. The way his head tipped back as I let my fingers brush over his throat, the gentle tugs he gave to my shirt as my fingers trailed down his chest, as if trying to hurry me along. He gave a soft whine and rocked his hips towards me as my hand slid over his stomach, trying to draw my touch closer to where he desired.


When I took him into my grasp, he trembled, a soft moan filling the room as he rocked his hips into my touch. He rocked between the hard thrusts and the gentle strokes, the color rising higher in his cheeks, his breath quickening as I offered that pleasure to him. He arched his back towards me when I struck the bundle of nerves inside of him, a low whimper coming from him as he gave soft tugs to my shirt. A silent plea that I couldn’t deny to him.


I couldn’t deny him anything.


“Come for me, Gulf.” I said, my hips meeting his in hard and quick thrusts. My name left him on a soft cry, his body rocking in slow motions as I stroked him through his orgasm. His breath hitched as he drew me down to him, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that was heated, his lips parting on an invitation for exploration. My hand went to his hip, unhindered that it was currently dirty. I would clean him up later, it wasn’t something that I wasn’t worried about at the present moment.


When he gave soft little sucks to my lower hp, my hips met his, faster than before, his nails digging into my back through my shirt as he eased his legs back along my side. His soft whines filled the room, the sound the only melody I ever needed to hear again. Hearing it during filming, so soft and close to my ear, when I thought I couldn’t have him had been torture. I had wanted to go off-script countless times to find out what else would make him moan, what would bring the sound out from him higher than before, what would pitch it deeper.


Now I knew.


The way he grazed his nails down my back, my name leaving him on a soft cry as I sank deeper inside me pulled me over the edge, sending pleasure crashing into me as my orgasm swept over me. I pressed my forehead against his as my heartrate settled, my breathing returning to normal. I felt his fingers playing a slow path through my hair and I couldn’t help but smile down at him, touching my lips to his in a gentle motion.


“Are you alright?” I asked softly and lifted a brow at him when he laughed.


“You’ve been harder on me before, Phi.” It was true, I had been, but I doubted that I would ever stop asking, that I would ever fail to check with him. “I’m alright. Don’t worry.” He stole a quick kiss from me before I stood up and disappeared to the bathroom to retrieve a towel for cleanup. He was still laying in the same position when I returned, though his arms were stretched out to the side and I had removed my shirt in the bathroom.


I sat on the bed next to him as I went through the cleanup process, giving him a small smile as he watched me. I pulled him into a sitting position and slid his shirt off, kissing his shoulder gently before he said anything. “Your shirt protected you from anymore scratch marks. Kinda figured if I didn’t have mine off, you shouldn’t have yours off either. Even if I sort of wanted it off. I just used it to my benefit.”


I laughed and disappeared to the bathroom once again, shaking my head at him as I went. When I returned from the bathroom, the towel and his shirt now in the laundry basket for later, I found Gulf wrapped in the blanket, curled into a ball on my side of the bed, an innocent look on his face as he hogged the blanket to himself and occupied my side of the bed. I lifted a brow at him and tipped my head as he lifted his gaze towards me.


"Aren't you coming to bed?"


I rolled my eyes at him and gave his side a light poke through the blanket, though I knew I would hit no sensitive spot. The man wasn't ticklish, much to my dismay. Sometimes I forgot it and instinctively went looking for a ticklish spot on his sides. He flashed me a smile and snuggled his way deeper into the burrito wrap he'd made of himself with the blanket, closing his eyes and pretending to drift off to sleep.


I watched him in silence for a few moments before picking up my pants from the floor and digging my phone free. I unlocked it and pulled up the camera, crouching down in front of him, aiming the camera at him as I balanced myself.






He opened his eyes and scrunched his nose at me, making a strange little shape with his lips that he so often did in pictures. I adored it when he did it, couldn't help but laugh and snap the picture. Perhaps, if cropped right, it would be one that could be shared. Not much could be seen in the background. It simply looked like he was wrapped in a blanket, nothing more, nothing less because he had the blanket pulled in so tight around himself.


"I love you." I said softly.


This time, his features softened, the shy smile that I adored appearing on his face. Pleasure and love shone in his eyes as he looked at me, color rising in his cheeks. Before he could hide his face, and I knew he would, I snapped the picture. Surprise flashed across his face and he rolled onto his front, hiding his face away from me, making me laugh.


Fans snapped their own photos of the two of us together, caught moments of us as we fell in love, though they didn't know it. They shared the photos online with each other, with us as well. This photo here was my moment of love, one that wouldn't be shared, but that was okay.


Some moments were meant to be kept private.