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What to expect (When you're expecting)

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The DEO was mostly known by its agents as a department compromised with National City's security, that took their objectives seriously and worked hard, day and night. Well, it wasn’t quite like that. In this exact moment, there weren’t so many crimes to fight or aliens planning a massive invasion to enslave the human race, something that J’onn was very grateful for. While the director finished his paperwork, Winn had left to meet James and Alex was out looking for her sister. If she wasn't at CatCo or L-Corp, she was definitely not around there.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked as she caught an almost childish scene of Supergirl sitting on the floor, crossed legs on a warehouse floor.

“Hey, Alex” she was very focused.

“Are you… are you drawing again?” she sat down beside the blond, catching a glimpse of random papers and a picture of Lena in the center “is this Lena?”

“Yes” her cheeks reddened “I’m… er, making a surprise”

“Can you tell me about it?” her sister’s blue eyes lighted with the request. She was expecting a lesson or a monologue from her sister, but not that interest, which excited and rejoiced her.

“Well, I took her to go shopping and...well, a little… how can I say it?” Kara felt her face blush again “a little incident happened, but it wasn’t anything serious! I swear! I just… noticed she’s insecure about her body and… I can’t really understand it but I just don’t want Lena to feel like that, you know?

“Okay,” Alex smiled “so what are you planning on doing?”

 

“I’m going to make her a board with all her pregnancy phases, like those on Pinterest” she smiled in excitement “but I wanted to give it some personal touch, so instead of just putting the pictures I’m going to take, I’m also drawing them and creating an aesthetic to each one.”

“This is wonderful, Kara” Alex was sincere and for that, a bit of dismay was noticeable in her words “Lena truly needs something that will make her feel confident about this whole mess, especially about her body.”

“How.... how do you know that” she frowned “is just… you’re so sure saying this… Did Lena say something to you?”

And at that moment, Alex was unsure of her words. There wasn’t any problem of course, that she was friends with the Luthor and she liked that. The issue was that this ‘new’ friendship was her sister’s best friend and she didn’t know how Kara would react to that news. Which was ironic, given that the blond always wanted for her to get along with Lena, for them to be somewhat close, close enough that she’d stop calling her by her last name. However, to want something to happen and then to see that it happened could bring some contradictory feelings.

Kara had never shown any signs of jealousy but it wasn’t like she ever had a reason to show them. Lena was her best friend and Alex was her sister.

“Alex?”

“I've been talking to her, for...well, it’s been some weeks” she confessed flatly and frowned looking at the confusion in her sister’s face “we hung out after game night and also went out last week but it wasn’t anything serious, we just talked and chilled” at this point Alex was searching for any miserable sight of a positive reaction from Kara.

“Oh… I wasn’t… expecting that” she sighed and forced a smile trying to show her sister she was happy with her acquaintance. She was happy, right? “but I’m glad.”

“Kara, I’m not here to take your place in her life” Alex kept going “Lena is your best friend, and I....”

“It’s okay, Alex, I promise” the blond held the redhead’s hands and shot a truer smile, even though something deep down was still bothering her. She couldn’t quite put a name to it, it didn’t feel like jealousy and that frightened her.

“Don’t lie to me, please. I know you’re bottling up so many things that you don’t want to talk about” she stared at Kara’s eyes “but you know you can’t talk to me, right?”

“I know, don’t worry about it and… wait” she interrupted her line of thought “why are we talking about me? You don’t look well and if someone here is bottling things up, it’s you” Alex turned her face, not liking the way that was going “I have barely seen Maggie these days… it’s about her, isn’t it?”

“It’s… complicated” she sighed. There were many unresolved issues that she kept to herself and didn’t know how to explain them or to make Kara understand them without feeling guilty. The younger Danvers always had that habit.

“Talk to me” Kara almost pleaded. The redhead smiled faintly and nodded.

“Since… we found out about Lena’s pregnancy. Maggie and I talked about having children” Alex started feeling her heartache “we were both very nervous because we had never spoken about it, after all, it’s still… early” she chuckled nervously “but since you were going to be a mom or something like that, we had that conversation and I told her that I dreamt about being a mother, of having someone that loved me unconditionally and anyway… you know all that…” Kara nodded “but… Maggie doesn’t want…”
Supergirl frowned and suddenly her brain was a mess. What did she mean?

“Maggie, she...wait...how?” she stared at her sister “she doesn’t want… it?”

“No” her voice shuddered “we didn’t go back to that subject, but… I don’t know what to do, Kara. I’m not giving up on her but…”

“You don’t want to give up being a mom” Kara completed and finally saw the big picture of what was happening. She looked at the drawing she had made of her pregnant friend and observed the way Alex sighed heavily looking at them. All those weeks she had been filling her sister with new information and updates on the baby and didn’t even notice that those things were, in a way, hurting her “oh, Alex… forgive me, I don’t… I should’ve controlled myself and my excitement, I didn’t even notice it was upsetting you, and I…”

“No, Kara no” Alex held her little sister’s wavering hands again “this has nothing to do with you or Lena, it’s only about me and Maggie. I’m really happy that you’re getting so involved because I know how much your friend needs it” once again, the kryptonian felt that weird feeling but ignored it. It wasn’t fair, even though she wasn’t what she was feeling, Alex deserved someone like the Luthor and she also wanted Lena to have someone like her sister.

They were family after all.

“I love Maggie, Kara” Alex's eyes were teary and the blond noticed the dark circles around them. There were no doubts about her sister’s love for that officer “and we’re… we’re going to figure this out. I promise you.

“I just wish I knew what to do or how to help you…” she sighed “I hate seeing you sad.”

“I know, but it will pass.”

“Hey, I’m the one supposed to be consoling here” Kara grumbled “I’m sorry, about all of this…but you can always talk to me, vent to me… I’ll keep trying my best to make things better, always” she pushed her for a tight hug, letting Alex hide her face in her hair “I love you so much.”

“I love you too” Alex sighed “today is ultrasound day, right” she changed the subject quickly.

“Yes!” Kara was excited “we’re entering the tenth week!”

“Are you still not telling me why this kid is so important to you? Other than, of course, that it is your child and Lena is the other mother” she commented watching the blond turn red “oh, c’mon Kara, we’ve been through this and I know you’re in love with her.”

“Hey!” she complained and was about to continue but was interrupted by J’onn, knocking on the open door. “yes, boss?”

“We have an emergency near the docks, we need Supergirl” he warned.

“Phew, saved by the bell” she exhaled and got up. So Alex grabbed her arm before she could run away.

“You’re not escaping this conversation” she teased “I’m keeping an eye on you” and pointed two fingers to the other woman. Kara didn’t answer, just used her superspeed to leave the place as fast as she could. She wasn’t ready to say a thing about that subject.

Kara did all the DEO asked her to until lunchtime, making it very clear to her boss that she was taking Lena to her second ultrasound that afternoon. J’onn still insisted on bringing the Luthor in so they could make specific exams on the child, like checking if the baby could mean any danger, for they didn’t know what could happen with human and alien DNA mixed, especially kryptonian DNA. But, as always, Supergirl didn’t discuss or let him convince her. The department was not laying one finger on that baby.

 

***

 

As Kara entered her friend’s office hallway, Jess shot her the same friendly smile and nodded her head indicating she could go in. She never really gave much thought to the CEO’s secretary, Jess seemed to appreciate their friendship, for she knew Lena felt good and needed someone like Kara Danvers by her side. But as much as she agreed, there was still a bit of hesitancy on her part. The blond was unaware of how much Jess cared about Lena and didn’t know what they had between them because Lena had made very clear, many times, that they weren’t friends, not in the profound and specific sense of the word anyway, but that the secretary truly cared about her wellbeing.

Leaving these thoughts behind, the younger Danvers could already hear the two hearts beating in harmony on the other side of the door. The same feelings always overwhelmed her soul. Security, love, and hope. For any other person, having a child could mean a blessing or a tragedy, but for Kara, it was far from both situations. It pained her deeply that she had to keep her feelings to herself, either they were good or bad, and it ached in her chest not being able to spit them out. She noticed the way Alex paid attention to her actions, words, and mood, no matter how well she hid all of it. She didn’t want to tell, didn’t want to vent. Those were her fears, her anguishes and no one could truly understand what was going on in her heart.

She opened the door quietly and found a concentrated Luthor reading some important document, one hand on the papers and the other on her belly. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by her anymore, it was an obvious habit for people who knew her well. Kara smiled lovingly. The last three months had gone by in a blink of an eye, so fast and intense. She didn’t have time to organize her emotions or to process what required processing. Was she confused? Yes, she was. Was she afraid? Very. She had never been so terrified in her entire life. But as she saw her friend so calmly reading something complicated, at least she always found those things complex, her heart sank in an overwhelming feeling of peace.

It was no surprise to anyone, or herself, that she had feelings for her best friend. It was clear. So stupidly obvious. But after all, who wouldn’t fall for her?

Kara took a deep breath and tried not to lose herself in those irises that looked more like a pair of emeralds. Lena looked at her and smiled, and her whole world lighted up in milliseconds. It was funny to think about how much they had grown together in so little time and how much Kara didn’t realize she was losing. her despair and confusion made her blind to the intimacy they were sharing in so few weeks. However, the blond could still see how extraordinary Lena was. The way she could change her face from intimidating and serious to something calm and affectionate. The way she could be distant and cold to those she didn’t know or trusted and also be so lovingly and extremely warm to those she loved and cared about.

All the CEO’s singularities and details overly enchanted the younger Danvers. She knew her so well, or at least that’s what she thought. She knew Lena disliked when her personal space was disrespected, or when she wasn’t taken seriously in work meetings, or when they diminished her for being a Luthor. She knew by memory all her favorite songs, she knew her friend had had a few piercings and an emo phase when she was a teenager, she adored it when she was speechless and smirked, not knowing how to react to a positive reaction. Truth was that the Luthor never knew how to respond to a compliment.

Rao, Kara could spend hours like that, listing everything that made her fall even harder for her best friend. But she didn’t have time now.

Besides, when she remembered the conversation with her sister she could feel her heartache a little. Alex was right about her not knowing certain details about the CEO. And that made her sad, worried. What more did she have to know about a woman that so confidently ran a multimillionaire company and still had time for a reporter like her? And what did Lena tell Alex that she wouldn’t tell her best friend? Had she done something wrong? Crossed a line? Rao! So many questions and fears that she didn’t know where to start. She never thought her life would have turned upside down, like these last weeks, and she feared that at some point it would all fall apart.

“Kara!” Lena got up to hug her “you’re early.”

“Uh… I’m...done with some articles” she lied “I hope I’m not disturbing…”

“Of course not, you never do” she pointed to the couch and they sat down “is something wrong?” Lena noticed the other’s somewhat disappointed face “did anything happen?”

“No!” Kara smiled and fixed her glasses nervously “nothing...happened.”

“Liar” she teased “you know you can tell me anything and that you are a terrible liar, right?” the blond felt her body tense “this whole pregnancy thing and me being so stressed does drain a lot from you. Kara, I don’t want you to worry so much…” she sighed “you don’t need to accompany me in every consult or…”

“Lena, no” Kara held her hands “it’s not that, I want to be with you in every consult and I want to help you… feel good… even if it’s hard for me to understand what… what you feel…”

There was a moment of silence and all the words unsaid, and the unshared feelings and worries floated around them. Lena wanted to say how she really felt, how anguishing it was to be pregnant when she didn’t even want to be a mother or how she wanted to go back three months and change what happened. It wasn’t fair to her, it wasn't. How did people expect someone like her, a Luthor, a person that knew nothing about maternity to be psychologically able and to raise such a fragile and vulnerable being like that baby and not turn it into a copy of her brother Lex?

And there was still much more. That was the tip of the iceberg.

How could she, supposedly, accept that she was expecting a baby from someone that didn’t love her and still drag her best friend into this mess? Lena loved Kara, not Supergirl. How could she expect that someday the younger Danvers would fall for someone like her? Someone linked to a woman like the girl of steel, someone who would always carry the burden of having a deep connection to the town’s hero? Looking at the blond had become so much more painful than before. She would do anything to take that sadness from her blue eyes.

Kara seemed disappointed and the Luthor feared it was because of her mistake.

 

Lena had lost control over her life, that was the truth. And until those six months and two weeks were over, she had to deal with that fact. Her body had been violated and now Lena had to regain the confidence that took her so long to get, It was funny because most women are insecure about their shape and form, always wanting to change a minor detail. For the CEO it wasn’t like that and she took pride in it. She could change whatever she wanted in her body but she never felt the need to. Something that she always, always loved about herself was her control and security about her image and physic.

Because her body belonged only to her. No one could take that away was what she thought. Until now. It was stolen from her.

“Why do I have the feeling you’re hiding something?” Lena questioned inquisitively and the blond paled.

“I… er, how… what do you mean?” she stuttered and fixed the glasses again “Hiding? Ho-how…”

“You have this habit” she explained “of hiding what you really feel and giving too much of yourself to people you think need it more than you do. What happened in those two months when you disappeared? That you didn’t answer my calls, my texts. Why do you…” she sighed. Not wanting to ask her friend that but her concerns were greater than what she wanted or not “why don’t you ever talk about him?”

Kara sighed not knowing how to respond. Of course, they would have to talk about her absence in those two months after the daxamite invasion at some point. It was easier to hide, pretend that she didn’t feel anything or that it didn’t hurt. But it wasn’t like that and her friends thought the reason for her disorientation and sadness was because of losing Mon-El in such a brutal and drastic way. And it wasn’t. The real reason wasn’t that. Sure, having to say goodbye to him unsure if he was going to be okay, or survive, or escape in time still haunted her. Her greatest fear was she might have sent her ex boyfriend to an extremely scary, unknown future.

She would never forgive herself for that.

“I’m sorry…” Lena quickly changed her posture, thinking she crossed a line. It didn’t even surprise her, it was an incorrigible habit. At some point, Lena always ruined a relationship, whether romantic or friendly “I didn’t mean to…”

“Because it still hurts” she interrupted “because it drives me crazy not knowing what happened to him. I don’t… I don’t know what to feel, Lena. I thought… I thought I loved him, I thought Mike was…

“The one” she completed and Kara nodded.

“But he never was, I think” the blond continued “after I saw myself without him by my side… it was like… like a weight lifted off my back and it only made me feel worse” she grimaced “Mike always made me feel guilty for not having enough time for us or for paying too much attention to work, or even for taking time to lunch with you and not him. That’s why I… I tried to change, you know? Because he loved me I had to… love him back…”

So that was the truth. Not that the CEO didn’t already know, because if she had to be honest, she hated that boy. Many times Lena picked up calls from a crying or extremely upset Kara because he treated her like an owner like she and her choices were his. many times she heard her friend complain about how she couldn’t reciprocate her boyfriend’s feelings, how she struggled with her attention between work, her friends, and that Mon-El that demanded all of it. Inside her chest, Lena felt rage, sadness and uncomparable loathe towards the daxamite, how could someone like Mike make someone like Kara feel guilty?

“I knew that Mike had wrong concepts and contrary opinions to mine but I was bought that opposite attracts theory and that people change for love” Kara confessed “and Alex said I should allow myself to give it a shot and I also helped me, I don’t know… is it wrong that I feel relieved? Not… by the fact he is lost somewhere in outer space, but by the idea that his presence isn’t here to make me feel…”

“Wrong?” The warm and shiny blue in the blond’s eyes got new shades as the confessions escaped her lips. Lena had all of them memorized.

“Yeah…” she sighed “I know this sounds like selfishness… and it must be, a little… I think.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being selfish, Kara” Lena intertwined their fingers “It’s not because someone loves you or likes you that you’re obliged to feel the same. That’s a very wrong idea” she explained “you, more than anyone else know my opinion on… Mike” she forced herself to say his name “I never talked about it because it wasn’t and still isn’t my business. But it worries me that, in a way, he treated you as an object and not as someone who can break” Lena sighed “I notice the way you run, how you never put yourself first and think self-care is selfishness. Kara, if you don’t put yourself first, you can’t expect anyone to do it for you” she smiled tenderly and stared at her intensely, trying to speak all her affection in one look “be selfish, at least once. I’m not your priority and can take care of myself.”

“I know you can” Kara looked away. She wasn’t able to deal with that impetuousness now “but I… I don’t feel forced to anything when I’m with you. It’s easy, it’s fun and you’re my best friend.”

“I just don’t want you to get overly involved in this pregnancy and end up getting hurt in the future” she sounded sure “Seedy…”

“It’s still yours” her voice came out sweet “for now she is still yours.”

“I can’t… get attached” Lena confessed “I’m not the best at it and I don’t even know what to do with children.”

“Will you let me help?” she asked tenderly “I’m not here to change your opinion or your choices, but let me help you see the other side of it.”

“I don’t want you to be disappointed, I’m not maternal, Kara” their eyes met again “and I still can’t” she sighed. Her tears wanted to roll and Lena wouldn’t allow it. Not again.

“Hey, deep breaths” Kara rested an arm on her shoulder “today we’re going to the ultrasound and then I want to take you somewhere special. No sad tears, okay?”

“Okay” she took those deep breaths “I hope I don’t cry the next for years after Seedy is born. I’m dead serious.”

“Crying is good, Lena” Kara commented “I… may I?” she pointed a finger to the Luthor’s belly, gesturing to touch it. Lena hesitated for a few seconds, unsure of which wall inside herself was about to crumble at any given moment, at any touch given by Kara in that sensitive part of her body. There was a child in there, she knew that but anytime other people made her feel that truth, it hurt. And her walls fell because she was falling in love with that feeling “If not… can’t… er, forget it…”

“Yes,” she interrupted her, taking her friend’s hand and calmly placing it on her belly. Lena closed her eyes instantly leaving all her fears aside and accepting the despair of being good for someone that depended so much on her. She didn’t want to let that child down “Can you feel it?”

“It’s warmer” Kara smiled amazed and knelt beside her hand, placing her ear right next to it and letting her hair fall on her friend's lap.

The world stopped. There were no other sounds, no people, or any problem.

There was just the fast-paced and strong heart from the one she was going to call son. She felt the tears urging to fall but limited herself to deep breaths. Her fingers caressed the CEO’s skirt tissue and the love she was feeling was capable of tearing her apart. Lena observed the scene: Kara laying on her belly, caressing it and sending shivers through her body. Kara, her best friend, the one who believed her questionless, never doubted her. Kara, the most loving and warm person she had ever met, the woman that made her want to understand and accept the good emotions that could come from unwanted pregnancy.

Her hands felt the blond her on her lap and soon a sweet voice echoed through the room.

“Don’t make your mom cry, alright?” Kara whispered, “she is keeping you warm in there and she needs your strength, though you know nothing about being strong yet…” she smiled her cheeks reddened as she realized what she was doing “if you promise me that, I’ll bring you ice cream after lunch every day” she lowered her voice pretending it was secrecy.

“Kara!” Lena exclaimed and the kryptonian cackled.

“Let’s go to the appointment, mama bear” she teased “but I want ice cream…” Kara pouted making Lena laugh.

“Apparently we have two children here.”

 

***

 

The ultrasound was less embarrassing than Lena thought was going to be. Unlike the other time, she didn’t have to take all her clothes off, only unbutton the lower part of her shirt and her skirt. Luckily Seedy, who was now a grape, was well and growing normally. Doctor Cameron ordered more exams, then asked about nausea and gave the thrilling news that those would probably pass right after the third semester. She also said that the hunger would continue, alongside her skin and breasts' sensitivity, because they were preparing to feed. Just the simple thought of having someone depending on her to get fed made the CEO tear up.

However, a new thought occurred to her: if she gave the child up to adoption, they would never be fed naturally again. And that saddened her. Theoretically, babies needed that connection to their mother. But Lena didn’t want to be a mother, so why did that matter? According to the books Kara gave her, breastfeeding not only optimized that mother/son relationship but also secured their health. Until they were six months old, the baby’s immune system wasn’t completely developed and so they were dependent on the mother’s milk to be protected.

While the Luthor wondered her doubts and fears, Kara tried to understand the friend’s feelings during those consults. Did she feel pain? Panic? Or did Lena think something was being taken from her? Her freedom and well-planned life for example. She didn’t know how to approach that subject and also didn’t want her to start crying. So, she decided she would wait. Wait for Lena to feel comfortable enough to tell her how she really felt, deep in her soul. She wouldn’t make her say it, she didn’t have the right.

“Where are we going?” Lena asked, feeling the car slow down and the driver looking for a place to park “I’m starving.”

“Again?” Kara asked impulsively. They had eaten half an hour ago.

“Are you going to judge me? You?” she arched an eyebrow.

“Me?” the blond laughed “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure” Lena provoked “my best friend is another starving blond. Maybe you are Supergirl” Kara choked and her phone slipped through her hands.

“Hey… I’m not… you” she fumbled and Lena chortled.

“I’m just teasing you, it’s okay. Though you did choose this child over me.”

“Jealous much?” Kara smirked, “I never thought Lena Luthor would feel disadvantaged to a baby.”

“I’m going to start crying and you’re not going to like it, don’t toy with my feelings” she answered sarcastically but the blond had a hard time understanding that. Hence, she pulled her into a tight hug, feeling anxious.

“No, please” Kara sighed “you’re my favorite, you know that.”

“I do, I was just joking” she laughed “I need to breathe, Kara…”

“Right” she cleared her throat “I knew… I already knew that…”

“Again, where are we?” Lena looked through the window “We’re not going to take long, right? I still have to get ready for dinner.”

“Oh, Ra-God” Kara corrected herself quickly, smacking her forehead “the dinner!”

“And you said that with a surprising voice because…?” she raised a brow “you forgot.”

“I did” she frowned.

“I don’t have to…”

“I’ll be there” she interrupted before Lena could start the same speech “I just don’t know… what to wear.”

“Don’t worry about that” Lena smiled calmly “your clothes are perfectly adequate for dinner.”

“Okay.” she sighed unsurely. Of course her flannel shirts and khaki pants weren't a good choice. Damn it.

They got out of the car and Lena asked the driver to wait wherever suited him better, after all, she didn’t know how much time they were going to take. What kind of place was that? She paid attention to the details and started making notes. There was a showcase exposing various products for pregnant women, babies, and a few baby carriages. It didn’t look like a big or luxurious place, more like a simple store hidden between normal houses and other little stores. In fact, that was more of a residential neighborhood, the houses were surrounded by green gardens and kids toys.

Kara guided Lena inside and greeted the lady standing behind the desk. They walked through the side hallway to the back, where there were two small rooms and an open area with tables and chairs perfectly placed under blue sunblinds. Also, many vases filled with different, colorful flowers composed the simple and cozy decoration. But, what caught the Luthor’s attention was the men sitting on a sofa and a group of women laughing walking around the tables.

What the fuck was that place?

“Kara, where are we?” Lena asked, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. She trusted her friend but hated not knowing what was happening.

“I… er…” she scratched the back of her neck and felt her cheeks burn “right…. I don’t know how to explain.”
“You can start from the beginning” Lena crossed her arms “what are we doing here?”

“Hey!” a blond lady approached them smiling with excitement “are you two new here?”

“Yes,” the younger Danvers answered, frowning, feeling the weight of her friend’s eye on her.

“Welcome!” she exclaimed “I’m the owner of the store and also one of the teachers, my name is Zara, nice to meet you” Zara introduced herself shaking Kara’s hand “What are your names?”

“I’m Kara and this is Lena” she pointed to her friend, who was still quiet, which frightened her a bit.

“Right, Lena, how many months?” Zara turned to the Luthor and smiled. Lena shot a confused look at Kara.

“How do you know I’m pregnant?”

“I’ve worked with this longer than you can imagine, dear” she answered kindly “our class is about to begin so go to the first room to the right and choose your seats, okay?”

“We’ll go soon, we just need to… talk” Kara shook her head nervously. Her fright grew gradually. She knew she should have asked Alex whether that was a good idea or not. Shit.

The blond lady left them and went to call the others. Only then Lena realized all people there were couples and all ladies were pregnant. She started getting it slowly and turned to look at her friend. Of course, she had nothing to worry about, it’s not like anyone there was going to harm her. She took a deep breath and tried not to panic. It was clear in Kara’s blue eyes that her intentions were the best and that she was as red as a tomato from nervousness.

“Can you begin to explain it to me, please?” Lena asked. Her breathing wasn’t of help and being there made her extremely uncomfortable.

“Uh… I kind of enrolled in some classes… for… pregnant women” she explained frowning “I’m sorry…. I, God! I should have asked you or asked for my sister’s opinion… I’m sorry.”

“Classes for pregnant? That’s a thing?” she laughed “and what are we, supposedly, learning here.”

“Er… many things” Kara made funny gestured with her hands and Lena chuckled “how to deal with symptoms, how to take care of a baby and there are other parents here too! I thought… I thought it might help you not feel so lost” and help me too, Kara thought but kept to herself.

“Right” Lena sighed. She didn’t feel like staying and wanted much less to be around other pregnant women. But, how could she say no to that cute, frowning 5 foot 9 of blue eyes and cuteness?

Fuck. Damned hormones.

“We’re going to participate in one class and if I don’t enjoy it…”

“We’re never coming back, I promise” the blond jumped in excitement “pinky promise!

“And what pinky promising is, exactly?” Lena questioned.

“Oh, God!” she extended an arm of chivalry for her friend “you have so much to learn” she teased.

“And would my life be without you, right?” Lena used her best ironic tone and accepted the arm “my hero” she whispered teasingly, seeing the red creep in Kara’s cheeks.

 

***

 

After reaching an agreement about the classes, Kara asked Lena to put on something more comfortable, since the practical parts of the class were on the floor. And, of course, the blond had come prepared with a change of clothes for her friend. Each couple was sitting on small mattresses, mommies in the front and daddies behind. The room wasn’t big but the decoration was very charming. Pastel blue, pink, and yellow mixed together and harmonized the walls and furniture. Some dolls and books were also displayed on the shelves, alongside baby utensils, and books and articles about pregnancy and babies. Lena had never seen so many things regarding pregnancy in one room.

They picked one of the mattresses left and set on the half-circle the other participants had formed, facing a small whiteboard hanging on the central wall. It was completely bizarre for Lena to think she and her best friend were next to so many couples, about to have children, and they didn’t even date or were about to be mothers. It seemed like they were frauds. There were two couples, one to their left and the other to their right and, as the Luthor accommodated herself beside Kara she felt someone touch her shoulder and quickly turned to face who it was.

 

“Are you Lena Luthor?” A dark-haired woman asked, smiling.
Lena automatically prepared herself for the worse. Her brain went to defense mode in a matter of seconds, ready to strike back against any mean or cynical comment about her reputation. Of course, she thought to herself, at some point someone would recognize her and ask her how could she bear a child. A defenseless, innocent being, dragged into the hell that was her family. Her mind was accustomed to hearing unjust criticism about herself, but her heart ached a bit, knowing it was going to be related to her brother and mother.

“Of course you are, I’d recognize those eyebrows anywhere!” the woman kept going excited, she had somewhat latino traces, Lena raised an eyebrow, more aware of them. Another cold hand touched her arm and she turned again, finding a beautiful pair of light brown eyes staring at her.

“I can’t believe we're going to have you here, I didn’t even know you were pregnant!” the woman was agitated “by the way, I loved the outfit you wore for Forbes the day after the alien invasion” she winked “I wish I was that beautiful and powerful to be on the cover of something that isn’t old portraits in my house.”

Okay, the CEO was definitely not expecting that. They weren’t criticizing her or quoting her mistakes in alphabetical order. Had she become some sort of female icon? No, that wasn’t possible. Lena could never be such a thing. But looking at the two women beside her, all she saw was admiration and pride, like she was a step forward for women. And no, she had no idea how to deal with that. She had dry and quick answers on the tip of her tongue, dripping with sarcasm, but what would her response be for that affection?

Lena felt like crying and cursed herself for that.

“You can cry, get all those hormones out before you explode” the latina smiled “the first trimester, right?” Lena nodded and felt Kara’s hands caress her back silently.

“How do you know that?” she asked back curiously. Why did everyone suddenly know when she was due to? “Is that some kind of superpower pregnants have?”

“I’m Ramona,” the other woman said smiling “and no, Julie is on her second pregnancy so she knows things by memory. We end up memorizing it.

“Nice to meet you” Julie smiled “don’t worry, the crying phase ends soon and then you get to the angry stage. You’re going to feel like murdering the first person who leaves a wet towel on the bed or forgets to put the toilet lid down.” she punched her husband lightly, who was very concentrated on his phone.

“I prefer being angry than crying” Lena confessed “and about this pregnancy… I…

“Don’t worry about it” Ramona held her arm carefully “here you’re just another pregnant lady filled with annoying hormones and weird desires” she winked and Lena chuckled.

“And who is this blond with you” Julie pointed to Kara “I’m glad we have a lesbian couple, at least now I can know what would it be like if I had married a woman. Men are a pain in the ass.” she looked over to her husband, unaware of the conversation.

“I bet sex with women is a hundred times best than with men” Ramona whispered and Kara felt like burying her head in the first hole she could find “by the way, you make a beautiful couple.”

Oh, Rao. That was all she needed.

“If your baby is born with her smile I will be obliged to offer my oldest son in marriage” the other woman joked “boy or girl, doesn’t matter.”

“Kara is just…” Lena tried to explain but was interrupted by the teacher they had talked to earlier “I’m sorry…” she whispered to her friend. Kara smiled tenderly and searched for her hand, intertwining their fingers.

“Good afternoon, mommies and daddies” the teacher spoke, excited “thank you for joining us for another class and today we have a new couple with us” she pointed to Lena and Kara, who almost choked together with the ‘couple’ part “welcome! Today we are going to talk about food and eating during pregnancy and our practical lesson will be about the basic needs we are going to have to deal with during the first year of the baby’s life. Now, please, each daddy take one doll and the utensils I left separated” she pointed to the enormous table “then take your seats again.”

The men got up and, when Lena moved to follow them, Kara held her lightly by the wrist, making it clear she was taking that role during the classes. Not that Lena minded being both roles for the baby because, in truth, she already thought she was going to be the two. Even if she decided against giving the baby up for adoption, the CEO didn’t expect Supergirl to come and help her raise that child. She was going to be a single mom, dedicating her whole self to maternity, and would not be disappointed to represent everything that child needed.

However, that wasn’t the way things went and she felt a bit relieved, knowing her best friend was so willing to dive her whole self into that adventure.

“Two babies?” Lena questioned turning to Ramona and her husband.

“Twins” she answered, gently caressing her belly “I’m four months in.”

“Oh…” she had never met anyone expecting two babies at the same time “and… does it hurt?”

“Not really, it’s just more tiresome” she shook her shoulders. The Luthor thought it was amazing how the lady looked so unconcerned and carefree, even knowing she was about to mother two at the same time “though I eat for three people and soon will be looking like a whale.” Ramona sighed making Lena and Julie laugh.

“What exactly do we have to do?” Kara asked, walking back to the group and carefully giving the doll to her friend. “this bag weighs about eleven pounds, I’m not kidding.”

“Be prepared, mommy” Julie teased “the tendency is only to get heavier.”

“Okay!” the teacher called for attention “it’s important for everyone to know that it’s not only the mom’s job to change diapers, wake up six times per night and do all the chores relating to the baby” she shot a fun look to the men “it’s time for everyone to participate and I assure you are not going to regret it.”

“What is this for?” the blond whispered to the CEO.

“I have no idea.”

“The first step is: know the phases of a child” Zara continued “newborns usually are easier to change diapers because their movements are still slow and their reflexes are still in development. However, they cry a lot!”

“Excuse me!” a tall, incredibly thin, and pretty woman abruptly opened the door and smiled “I’m sorry, got stuck in traffic.”

“No problem, Emily” Zara greeted her and pointed to an empty mattress “please come in and take a seat. Oh, also grab one of the dolls, please.”

Lena observed the dark-haired woman walk through the room, she had piercing blue eyes and the noise from her thin high heels echoed with each confident step she took, the CEO wondered where her partner was, after all, that was a couple’s class. Not that she was judging, Kara and she were far from being a couple and Lena didn’t even think about committed relationships right now. Dating only brought frustrations and complications and the last thing she needed was another problem to deal with. A pregnancy was enough trouble to go through and Lena was glad to have the blond by her side to give her support and a helping hand. However, it was strange to see that Emily lady look so sure of herself, wearing that dress glued to her Victoria’s Secrets alike body, her belly only showing a small shadow underneath the tissue.

“As I was saying” Zara cleared and throat “your baby’s first month will be frightening and even a cause of desperation. You will see him so little and fragile that you will be afraid of hurting him, but you don’t have to be.” she smiled warmly “if you know how to keep calm and deal with the baby tenderly, your child will soon get used to your touch and begin to recognize it. That said, today I will show you some diaper brands, types of wet wipes, antiallergic medication, rash and roasting cream, and other important things.” the teacher sat on the floor in front of the class and laid her doll over the mattress. “lay your babies over the changer and remove their clothes carefully, remember: they are very fragile. After you’ve undressed them, it’s time to change the diaper.”

“What is a changer?” Kara asked nervously, taking all the clothes out of the enormous bag “why are there so many things here?”

“I don’t know, don’t look at me like I’m the expert here” Lena grumbled. All couples had already found the objects with ease and were waiting for further instructions “Christ, who needs all that? It's just a baby!” Lena said exasperated, trying to find the damned changer.

“Here” Ramona took the small, rectangular blanket, one side soft fur, and the other plastic. “this side up.”

“Thank you,” Kara murmured and sighed. Rao, that was hard!

“How do you unbutton this?” Lena was looking for the zipper but all she found was a ton of buttons “honestly, I have machined on the lab that is easier to use.”

“Lena!” the blond laughed “Seedy isn’t a machine” she sighed “how does that woman manage to do all this alone?” Kara pointed, not so discreetly, to Emily.

“I don’t know but I won’t let her do better than me.” the CEO affirmed and suddenly felt determined. She was a Luthor and would not allow for someone like that, and younger than her to defy her and win. She was not going to let that strange woman put her to shame.

“Oh, are we competitive today?” Kara teased.

“Don’t provoke me and make yourself useful” the CEO mode was activated and the kryptonian couldn't help to find it hot “aha! It’s not that complicated, is it?” Lena cheered “Let’s get to the next phase.”

“We’re not in a game, Lena” the blond was amused.

“Always showing off” Julie commented and frowned, staring at the solitary woman on the other side of the room “ugh, she pisses me off so much.”

“Who? That Emily?” Lena whispered, hit with curiosity.

“Yes, her” Ramona answered “miss beautiful who happens to be a single mother, which is fine, obviously. What annoys me is that she’s so…” she pointed to the woman, making funny gestures “Emily is five months pregnant and looks like a Kardashian, not to mention that she’s great in everything she does.”

“Five months!” Kara widen her eyes “her stomach looks like mine when I finish lunch!”

“That’s because you eat for three, darling” Lena smiled “and you’re not pregnant with twins.”

“Take the diapers, cream, and wet wipes!” the teacher instructed. She talked non-stop about the various types of food and nutrients in each type of meal. To be fairly honest, the Luthor didn’t mind what she needed to eat, as long as she was capable of not murdering anyone out of hunger.

“On which side do you put this?” the blond asked, lost. Lena was sitting beside her, legs crossed, looking confusedly at the doll “is this turned to the front?”

“I think it’s back” Lena retorted “does it matter?”

“The drew side is always front” Julie explained, fixing the diaper that was put completely wrong “if there isn’t any drawing, the flaps are always next to the bum, see?”

“You don’t need to panic” Ramona calmed them “we’re not in a fire simulation.”

“It would be better if we were” Lena grumbled. She observed Emily from the corner of her eye and envy crawled into her chest. How did that model prototype manage to be so perfect? Fuck!

“Darling, can you help me with my bra?” Ramona called her husband and loosed the strap, asking if that was alright “God, I think my boobs are going to explode! Does your nipple get sensitive as hell too?” she questioned the CEO “who looks at my shirt thinks my horny 24/7, it’s embarrassing.”

Kara felt her cheeks burn and put her full attention to changing the doll’s diapers. Although she knew or had an idea, that her friend was going through the same thing, it was different to hear it said out loud. Not to mention her mind wandered far, imagining if Lena had sensitive nipples. Rao! How could she think about that? Kara shook her head in a useless effort to get that image out of her mind. They were just friends. Friends who are going to have a baby, she thought to herself.

“Like you aren’t!” Julie shot back “I could have sex five times a day!”

Oh, Rao. Not that subject.

“Uh, and how do you deal with that?” Ramona smirked, “long showers are good to relax.”

“Sometimes I feel like I could come with just someone breathing beside me and my boobs… God!” Lena exclaimed, still entertained with the fake child’s clothes. Kara almost choked on her tongue and her face was red as a tomato, she coughed hard and forgot how to breathe “hey, are you okay?” Lena turned to her and hit the blond’s back lightly “deep breaths.”

“I hope your wife deals well with it” Julie continued and looked at Kara. The Luthor felt her whole body react to the term ‘wife’ “it’s still six months of that libido to go.”

“In doubt, keep a vibrator in your drawer” Ramona smirked and Kara, on the peak of nervousness, squeezed the cream too hard, making the white, perfumed cream fall on her jeans.

Rao, she was out of control. In no time her brain constructed the not so innocent image of her best friend with a vibrator. Rao! What did Lena mean about someone breathing next to her? Did her friend feel like that with her?

Nope. Kara did not want to know.

“Okay, let’s move to the next lesson and then we’re approaching a delicious subject” Zara laughed “sex and masturbation” the couples laughed along.

Once again, the blond squeezed the cylinder, and what was left of the cream feel on the floor. She was going to die, she was sure. There was no more salvation for Kara Danvers after that class.

Rao, why did she always have the worst ideas?

 

***

Alex didn’t stop laughing after she heard every detail about the unusual and bizarre class her sister attended. Her stomach was hurting and spilled half the water she was drinking. Never one day Alex thought she would hear her little sister grumble so nervously about such a subject. Sure, Kara was annoyingly innocent and absurdly slow during most conversations. However, when it came to Lena Luthor, the redhead noticed certain reactions from the blond that she was unable to contain. Alex wished she filmed all times her sister hid her face between her hands and whimpered about how embarrassed it was when the teacher mentioned the many ways to achieve orgasm alone. Or how to stimulate their partners to enjoy that phase as well.

Certainly, Kara was not going to help the CEO with that and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Rao, her brain was about to explode and all her brain cells were exhausted.

“Do you know there are more than five typed of wet wipers? And that newborns poop four times a day and that can breastfeed every hour?” Kara continued rambling.

“I guess so” Alex wiped the tears rolling from the laughing “now thrice that amount since it’s your child.”

“Rao!” the blond threw herself on the sofa “Seedy is going to eat twice as much as a normal baby.”

“Poor, Lena” she took a sip of water and changed the subject “what do you have planned for dinner? Have you chosen your outfit yet? Are you ready to meet your mother in law?”

“Oh, shi..oot!” Kara hid her face again “I didn’t even stop to think, Lilian is Seedy’s grandmother. How bad is that?”

“I don’t know, but the irony is amusing” the redhead smirked.

“Alex there is nothing funny about it” she whimpered “we’re talking about Lilian Luthor, who hates all my family, will be the grandmother of a kryptonian.

“Karma really is a bitch” Alex commented and saw her sister roll eyes “imagine if it leaked on a magazine: Lena Luthor, mother of aliens.”

“Alex!” the redhead snorted again and tried to breathe.

“Okay, I’m done. But I would give everything to be at this dinner.”

“And you are, you promised!” Kara complained “or I’ll put my suit underneath my clothes.”

“Absolutely not!” the agent got serious “it’s too risky and we’re having other guests there. You’re going to take a shower, get ready, and put on the clothes I specially chose for you. Meanwhile, I and my team will be paying close attention to any sign of danger near your mother in law’s house.”

“Ugh, Alex!” Kara whimpered nervously “she’s not my mother in law. I hate you so much!”

“C’mon, Romeu” Alex pulled her closer “time for a shower.”

Kara, still upset and extremely lost, ran to the bathroom. Taking more time than necessary in there, creating courage to get out. After the failure that class was, the blond got a call from the DEO a made up some dumb excuse, leaving Lena to go back to her apartment alone. It wasn’t like it made much of a difference, she thought to herself, after all, Lena her made new friends, and although Kara knew no one was going to take her place, it bothered not being able to truly relate to what her friend was going through, after all, she wasn’t pregnant and never could be.

One of the disadvantages of being a kryptonian on Earth was that the yellow harmed her physiological system and gradually diminished her chances of getting pregnant over time. During the last consultation she had with a gynecologist, due to some menstrual pains, Kara found out she had become 89% sterile and that number would go up high in a matter of five years. No doctor understood, of course, and Alex made it very clear that it was useless to go to any specialist to try and find some cure to that process. Her chances of being a mother and dreams of it were buried. She would never know what it felt like to carry a child in her.

This discovery broke her completely in the first months, Kara was only eighteen and all that glamour of girlish dreams about being married and bearing a child that would have her eyes or her partner’s nose, those daydreams still lived in her. During high school, most girls talked about that, it was everybody’s plan to get married and have children. Sweet childish dreams. The kryptonian liked to think someday she was going to have a small copy of her running around the house. But now, she learned to avoid those wises and almost eight years later, she prefers not to think about it.

As she left the bathroom, Alex was waiting for her, smirking maliciously. That day was, by far, the weirdest one of her life. And if her organism allowed it, she would definitely have nervous gastritis.

 

***

 

Lena took longer to shower than she had planned and, unlike her best friend, she had different reasons for it.

After the class, Lena felt lighter, knowing all her symptoms were normal, many people during pregnancy went through the same and there was no reason to go insane. Crying was normal and it would pass, at least those news were relieving, after three months with no control over her tears. Her body relaxed as the driver made the way home, but her mind worked like a machine. Her skin had goosebumps and shining with a thin layer of sweat that had just formed. Lena felt her blood fever inside her veins again.

She was hot. Again.

Shit. The CEO hated when that happened and she didn’t have a decent or private place to relieve herself. It was an uncontrollable desire that came and went out of nowhere. Most times she condemned herself for feeling like that, this unceasing combustion, in the middle of work and even in the middle of meetings. For heaven's sake, she couldn't even close her eyes that her mind wandered far, bringing the illusion of sex to her body. And in that illusion, her body reacted, shooting heat weaved through it. Arriving at her apartment, Lena quickly undressed and went straight to the bathroom, taking a quick look in the mirror and trying to not be disappointed by the image.

The warm water helped her muscles to relax and the cold wind coming through the window made her realize how hot her skin was. God, she was literally soaked. Her hand slithered between her breasts and her finger gently caressed each sensitive, hardened nipple. Only when her body ached in response Lena let herself make noise and moaned grasping, she bit her lips and closed her eyes, feeling each drop of water fall on her.

“Oh, fuck…” the moan came out raspy and low.

It didn’t take long for her to put two fingers inside herself and rub her thumb over the clit that was swollen and begging for attention. Goosebumps went through her back and she panted. Her mind wandered off, imagining two firm hands pressing her waist, a pair of arms holding her, and blue eyes shining with a hunger for her. Her fingers paced faster, in and out. She came. And then regret came. Maybe… maybe Lena had thought of a specific person while doing that. She denied herself and that fact. Admitting it would only make things worse.

“Lena, you are so stupid” she sighed alone, her heart still racing.

Ignoring the shame in her chest, Lena applied shampoo to her hair and took a deep breath. She cursed herself quietly for feeling that way for someone who could never desire her back. Tears rolled down her face, hot and acid. Lena chose the easy way out and blamed the pregnancy, again. Her lack of control was taking her to places of stress and anger she never thought possible. The woman from the class came back to her mind and she repeated to herself that all was going to end soon. Just six months left.

Gradually the rush of pleasure passed and Lena was finally able to finish her shower, just in time to get ready. Kara was going to be with her tonight and if there was one thing the Luthor treasured was her friendship with the charmest reporter from National City.

She was not going to let some lack of control or annoying hidden feeling for the blond ruin the only good thing that she had gotten that year. Lena was glad to bury it all as deep as she could.