Chapter 1: Are we ever?
The way Villanelle smirked at her made her heart beat faster. Bounding beneath her ribs. Eve swallowed it down, hoping Villanelle couldn’t sense how her body reacted.
Eve had turned around, but why? The person in front of her, who met her gaze now, had tried to kill her. Many times, she thought. Near fatally wounded physically. Fatally wounded mentally and emotionally.
As she tried to process the slew of emotions and thoughts running through her, Villanelle took a step forward.
Eve realized she had been holding her breath until Villanelle was in front of her. A shaky gust of air escapes her lungs.
“Breathe, Eve.” Villanelle chuckled.
Eve wants to smack her smirking face. She wants to push her back into the bridge railing. She wants to grab Villanelle’s hands and jump over the railing together, plunging into the icy waters below. Anything to feel some sort of release from this feeling that clings to her with every breath.
“Why did I turn around, Villanelle?”
The smirk drops from Villanelle’s face and she searches Eve’s eyes.
“I didn’t think you would.” Villanelle says as she takes up the same position she held on the railing before they attempted to walk away from one another. “I always knew I would, and I was prepared to watch you walk away. I made peace with that.”
Eve searched Villanelle’s profile as she gazed across the dark water’s surface. She leans against the railing of the bridge, never taking her eyes off of Villanelle.
Villanelle keeps her eyes on the water and takes a shaky breath. “You’ve never escaped my thoughts. I don’t know the last time I hadn’t thought of you. Probably before I knew you existed. I have been consumed with the thought of you since. And I can’t put my finger on why that is. I just know I can’t stop. I’ve tried.”
Villanelle sounds defeated as her words linger around Eve.
“I know.” Eve says, as she leans across the railing, mimicking Villanelle’s position. “I’ve tried as well. I’m tired of trying to stop, honestly.”
Villanelle laughs. “We exhaust one another.”
Villanelle turns now to Eve.
“Look at me, Eve.”
Eve holds her breath again as she turns to face Villanelle. Breathing normally around Villanelle is impossible. It’s either exasperated sighs, sarcastic laughs, or yelling. Now, it’s holding a breath in to hold something else in that Eve can’t put a finger on just yet.
Villanelle’s eyes are different than they ever have been. They are softer. They are vulnerable. Nervous. Maybe even scared.
”A lot has happened in the last few months that I thought I had a handle on. But, I’m starting to realize that I've never had a handle on it.” Villanelle clears her throat shakily while diverting her eyes down to her boots for a second and then back to Eve, boring into hers. ”I’m not safe.”
Eve knows something is different in her. She feels it and it overwhelms her. She thought she really started to understand Villanelle and how she worked. She's clung onto that understanding since they met. She made that understanding a goal of hers and felt empowered when she felt like she met that goal. With everything that has happened since Villanelle appeared forcefully in her life, that understanding was all she had left. With this shift, Eve feels more than off balance.
“What’s happened to you, Villanelle?”
A breeze whips at her back and Villanelle’s coat snaps in the air with it. The snap of her coat seems to cause Villanelle to tense and look over Eve’s shoulder quickly, as if not to alarm.
“Can we walk?” Villanelle asks as she returns her eyes to Eves.
“Sure. Are we not safe here?” Eve asks as Villanelle guides Eve briefly by the elbow towards the lights of the town. Eve doesn’t mean to flinch when Villanelle touches her, but it happens instinctively. Predator and prey. As it always has been with them in the past.
Villanelle notices the flinch, Eve is sure of it. But she doesn’t reveal her notice. She just drops her hand and glances down at Eve.
“Are we ever?” Villanelle says, half laughing.
Chapter 2: First, eat with me
There is not a quickness in Villanelle’s step. It’s casual, and it annoys Eve. She knows that Villanelle wants to keep walking for safety reasons. But the casualness of her walk is purposeful, as if to soothe Eve’s fear, and Eve is tired of fearing the unknown and tired of being protected by exclusion.
They walk in silence, glancing at each other periodically as if they are searching for answers on each other’s face.
They walk for a while before Eve finally grabs Villanelle’s hand to stop her.
Villanelle’s hand is freezing, but just the touch of her sends warmth up Eve’s arm. Villanelle’s fingers twitch at the contact.
“Can we stop? We’ve been walking in circles for an hour. Where are we going, Villanelle?”
“I’m not sure. I just wanted to keep moving.” Villanelle says, now looking down to her hand that Eve has a light grip on and back to Eve.
Eve slowly breaks contact, missing the warmth that Villanelle’s cold hand brought her.
“I’m freezing. You’re freezing. I’m tired, hungry...homeless at this point. Can we stop somewhere to get warm at least?”
Villanelle looks around and lands her eyes on a nearby pub.
“Sure. Let’s sit in there for a bit.”
They duck into the nearby pub and sit in a booth near the back of the building. Eve notices it’s away from any windows.
Eve stares at Villanelle as she looks around at the very few patrons that occupy surrounding tables. When Villanelle meets Eve’s stare, she doesn’t break it.
“What can I get for you two?” A chipper waiter asks.
“Whatever you have that’s hot to eat, and strong to drink.” Eve says, welcoming the interruption and break in eye contact.
Villanelle raises an eyebrow, smirking, while looking at Eve. “Nothing to eat...” she says, “But I’ll take whatever she’s having to drink.”
“You’re not eating?” Eve asks as the waiter makes his leave.
“Not hungry.” Villanelle shrugs her shoulders slightly, while staring at her fingers that have now begun play with the napkin in front of her.
Eve laughs while running her fingers through her hair and her palms over her eyes. “You have changed. I’ve never seen you ‘not hungry’”.
“Mhmm.” Villanelle says, pulling her lower lip under her teeth. “A lot of new.”
“Villanelle, what’s happened?”
Villanelle slowly breathes out a gush of air through pursed lips.
“There’s a lot of things you know about me. Never hearing those things from my own lips, only reading them in a file, but most of them, true.”
The waiter returns with their drinks and both of them drink headily while looking at each other over the rims of their glasses.
Villanelle starts to run her finger around the rim of her glass and chuckles. “I think you know me more than I know myself, honestly.”
Eve throws the remaining of her drink back and looks at Villanelle unblinkingly. “I feel like I know nothing about you at this point. You’ve proven me right and proven me wrong.”
“Using violence when something doesn’t go your way or when you can’t have what you want. Proven right.”
Villanelle almost looks ashamed when she says this, her eyes searching Eve’s while she speaks.
“Allowing me to walk away tonight, letting go and being the voice of reason. Proven wrong.”
Villanelle huffs. “I’ve never thought my life would be better off without you in it. But yours would be better off without me.”
Eve’s food arrives and she pushes it towards the middle of the table, offering to share.
“I used to think that, Villanelle. But now I’m not so sure that’s true. Eat something please.”
Villanelle reluctantly takes a bite off of Eve’s plate and chews slowly. The silence and tension between them now is palpable. Villanelle’s swallow rings loud in Eve’s ears.
“It’s good.” Villanelle smiles, almost childlike.
“Are you going to let me in to what’s happened?”
Villanelle takes another bite and chews slowly. “Yes. I want to.” She says with a full mouth. “Can you promise not to listen as if you’re trying to analyze me?” Villanelle swallows and smirks. Her green eyes twinkling as Eve remembers them to. This look always brought Eve a mix of annoyance, curiosity and desire. Right now, Eve is curious, and desire ripples through her as she grips the glass in front of her.
“Yes. I want to.” Eve says shakily.
Villanelle pushes the plate back towards Eve.
“First, eat with me.”
Chapter 3: Where to?
After eating, Villanelle feels tired. Being around Eve is exhausting, but exhilarating. She feels cold, but on fire. She wants to reach out, but retreat at the same time.
She remembers how she used to feel around Eve. Desire, infatuation, impatience, accomplished, in control, possessive. She thought it was love. Eve told her that she didn’t know what that word meant. She’s thought about that every day since Rome.
Now she’s thinking Eve was right. She had no idea what that word meant. New feelings rush through her being near Eve again. She is confused, but enlightened. She wants, but patiently. She sees Eve differently now, and it scares her. She can’t remember the last time, before recently, that she felt fear.
As she pays for their dinner and drinks, and Eve rises to put her jacket back on, Villanelle watches the way Eve's arms move, how her neck tilts a bit, and how Eve watches her back.
“Where to, Eve?” Villanelle asks as Eve wraps her scarf around her neck.
“I’ve been out of my apartment for a little bit now. Staying with a friend.” Eve says, seeming a little on edge.
“Why is that?” Villanelle asks.
Eve gives her a sharp look. “Because I didn’t feel safe there. Someone had broken in.”
Oops. That someone was Villanelle. And the way she said this gave her a familiar rush.
“Ah. That’s right.” Villanelle sheepishly rubs the back of her neck and chuckles. “And I guess it isn’t safe to return after tonight either.”
“No. But I need my things.” Eve says.
“It’s safer if I go with you. We can grab whatever you need and then figure it out from there.”
Villanelle asks the bartender if he would call them a cab.
“She’s had too much.” As she points towards Eve and cringes dramatically.
“Glad to see you’re still an asshole.” Eve says, walking out of the pub to stand by the road.
Villanelle loves this part of their relationship.
“I will always be an asshole. Especially around you.” Villanelle says walking up behind her, grinning and poking Eve in the shoulder. “Only because you’re reaction is so adorable.”
It comes out naturally and she’s glad it does because Eve reacts in her normal way. She blushes a bit, darts her eyes down to her feet, and then back at Villanelle. She’s thinking of something witty to say, Villanelle is sure of it.
“I don’t think you’d be YOU without being an asshole.” Eve snaps back.
Villanelle smiles at this as the cab rolls up.
Chapter 4: Admit it
They arrive at Eve’s apartment after riding in tense silence. Villanelle plays with the string of her coat the entire way. She looks almost childlike when she does it. Eve can’t look away. Villanelle catches her staring multiple times and just sweetly smiles at Eve.
“I wonder how you knew where I lived.” Eve asks sarcastically and deadpan as she exits the cab.
Villanelle pays the driver and follows behind her.
“Did you enjoy my gift?” Villanelle’s voice is low and right behind her while she enters the code to her building. She can tell Villanelle is grinning and gets the same excitement at this as she used to.
Eve enters her building without responding and lets Villanelle follow her upstairs to her apartment.
“Let’s try to be quick and try not to be a dick.” Eve snaps back as she unlocks her door.
It’s just as she left it that night. The gift Villanelle left her is strewn across the room. Besides the speaker. That lays on Eve’s bed. She knows Villanelle sees it.
“Hmmm. So you did enjoy my gift.” Villanelle says with a smirk as she walks past Eve into her apartment. She drops the conversation quickly before Eve can respond and turns back towards Eve. “Let’s grab what you need.”
Eve gets to work. She grabs a duffle bag that lays in her closet and starts to grab clothing.
Villanelle appears beside her and flips through some of her shirts that are on hangers. “Turtleneck, turtleneck, turtleneck...Eve, you have to invest in clothing other than turtlenecks.”
Eve purposefully grabs each turtleneck Villanelle flipped through while keeping her gaze on Villanelle’s amused eyes and returns her amusement with a smug smile.
She grabs more clothing, toiletries, a few important keepsakes, and turns to find Villanelle looking at some pictures Eve had by her bed.
“I am sorry to hear about Niko.” Villanelle says, turning to Eve.
This is the first time Eve has heard Villanelle mention Niko by his actual name, instead of ‘The Moustache’. Her eyes hold no ill will or sarcasm. Her eyes look almost empathetic.
“I’m sure you are.” Eve says sarcastically. Villanelle hasn’t changed that much. She knows how Villanelle feels about Niko.
Villanelle takes a step towards her slowly. “I am.”
“Thank you.” Eve says shortly, as she steps past Villanelle to grab the heart speaker off of her bed.
Villanelle raises her eyebrow to Eve at the action.
“If someone comes looking for me, I don’t want this laying around and found.” Eve says, matter of fact. Really, Eve just wants it.
“Ah. I thought maybe you couldn’t get enough of my sexy, Russian accent. The words ‘sexy’ and ‘Russian accent’ don’t really go together, do they?” Villanelle chuckles.
“I like your accent.” Eve says, sort of wishing she hadn’t.
“Oh really?” Villanelle says, accentuating her accent even more with a sideways grin, putting her hands in her coat pockets.
“It’s fitting for you.” Eve recovers. “It’s harsh sounding.”
“Ouch.” Villanelle fake grabs her heart. “Do you need anything else in here, Eve?” She asks, all business.
“That’s it.” Eve says, as she shoves the heart speaker in her coat pocket. As she does, it accidentally goes off.
“Admit it, Eve...you wish I was here.”
Both of them startle a bit. Eve knows she’s blushing and just the sound of Villanelle’s voice like this excites her. It makes her heart race and her palms sweaty.
Villanelle notices the way Eve reacts to this and moves towards her, with that grin on her face. When Villanelle is in front of her, Eve can’t look away. Villanelle leans forward and Eve’s breath quickens. She feels like she should move but can’t. Her feet are cemented to the ground.
As Villanelle moves nearer, she feels Villanelle’s hand snake into her pocket. She notices Villanelle’s hand is shaking a little. Villanelle moves her lips close to Eve’s ear, sending an embarrassingly noticeable shiver down her spine.
“I’ll hold onto this.” Villanelle says quietly into Eve’s ear as she snakes the heart out of Eve’s pocket and into hers instead.
Eve is shaking.
“And, admit it Eve, you’re glad that I’m here.”
Chapter 5: Impatient
Flashes of killing Rhian and her mother have been making their appearance in Villanelle’s mind tonight. Eve’s presence dulls their intensity, but there’s a feeling that still lingers that feels out of place for Villanelle.
Villanelle can feel Eve’s eyes on her. She’s not going to make this easy, she thinks. And Villanelle is tired. She’s been putting off Eve’s questions all night and Eve is getting impatient.
Right now Villanelle needs to focus on keeping them safe and off of the streets tonight as much as possible. They need to have a serious discussion as to what this means for their future...and if it will be separate or together.
“The only safe place for us right now is a hotel room. I have cash. We’ll pay for it with that so it can’t be traced.” Villanelle says as they wait for another cab outside of a nearby park.
“Okay. Thank you for coming with me to grab my things.”
“Of course.” Villanelle returns with a sweet smile.
“Villanelle, tell me what’s going on with you. You seem different.”
“Eve, you are so impatient tonight.” Villanelle chuckles. “I’ll tell you but I’m still not done processing it myself.”
”I can possibly help with that. You know me...I like to psychoanalyze.”
”Oh, I know you do.” Villanelle snaps back sarcastically and laughs.
”Shut up. I'm trying to be helpful.”
Villanelle feels something like guilt when Eve says this. Eve cares about how she feels and what she's going through...even after the failed attempt on her life by Villanelle.
”I don't understand you, Eve.”
“What don't you understand, Villanelle?”
The way Eve says her name feels like fire.
”Why, after everything, did you turn around? And why you give so much of a shit about me.” Villanelle says.
Eve laughs. “Okay, I get it. The questions are annoying. I'll stop questioning you. But I want to know when you’re ready to tell me.”
Villanelle makes a show of putting her hand over her heart. “Eve, I swear I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”
Villanelle hears Eve mutter “dick” under her breath.
“I heard that.” Villanelle says, smirking down at Eve.
Chapter 6: Tired
The cab drops them off at a hotel outside of town. Eve watches Villanelle get the room and pay for it, retrieving the room card.
“We’ll have to share a room. They only had one. But there’s a pull-out couch, so I’ll take that.”
Eve isn’t comfortable with it, but it is what it is. Just the thought of sleeping in the same room with Villanelle is frightening but exhilarating. She wonders if Villanelle snores, what her bedtime routine is, if she talks in her sleep, if she wakes up early or sleeps in.
It’s as if Villanelle is reading her mind. “I’ve been told I snore. Forewarning you.”
As they enter the room, Villanelle tosses Eve’s bag that she insisted on carrying on the couch.
“I’m going to take a shower, Eve. I’ll be out shortly. Do you have anything I can wear to sleep? I have the clothes that are on me." Eve starts to walk towards her bag to look. "Preferably not a turtleneck.” Villanelle grins.
” I don't just wear turtlenecks.” Eve starts to dig through her stuff. Villanelle obviously loaded her bag down with more turtlenecks behind her back, when she was getting her toiletries together at her apartment.
“Any luck?” Villanelle smirks as Eve starts to fail in her search for any top that’s not a turtleneck. Finally, an old t-shirt.
“Yes. Here, asshole.” She throws the t-shirt and some baggy sweat pants (that will be hilariously short) at Villanelle. Villanelle feigns being pushed back against the force of her throw, says “Thank you, Eve.”, and retreats into the bathroom.
Eve hears the water turn on, as well as a podcast, Social Europe, from Villanelle's phone. An assassin/psychopath that listens to political podcasts while she showers, Eve thinks. She didn't think Villanelle could surprise her any more than she already has in the past, but she's been proven wrong many times just in the past twenty-four hours.
Eve sits on the edge of the bed and just listens. But she’s not really listening. She’s staring at her hands, at her wedding ring around her finger, and feels completely numb.
She hears a pause in the podcast as Villanelle's phone receives a call. Villanelle doesn’t answer, she keeps showering.
This snaps Eve out of her own head and back into the present. When she hears the water turn off, she thinks she should probably make herself look busy, but she can’t muscle up the energy to do so, so she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at her hands, when Villanelle emerges from the bathroom.
“Are you okay?” She asks Eve. She says it so gently that Eve feels almost soothed by her voice.
“I’m okay. Just tired.” Eve says while looking up at Villanelle. Villanelle has Eve’s clothes on, the sweatpants, as she predicted, are hilariously too short on her. A towel is wrapped around her wet hair.
“I always wondered what you wore to bed.” Eve says, feeling too open with that statement, looking Villanelle up and down.
The way Villanelle looks now is childlike. She looks innocent. She looks like a completely normal young woman.
“Usually my bedtime wardrobe isn’t so ill-fitted. And usually, I match.” Villanelle says as she unwraps her hair and dries it with the towel.
“And I’m sure it’s usually couture.” Eve says, rolling her eyes while retrieving her own clothes for bed.
“Usually.” Villanelle says chuckling.
Chapter 7: Can I try something?
Having Eve’s clothes on feels different to Villanelle. It feels intimate. She doesn’t give this away in how she behaves in front of Eve, but while Eve showers, Villanelle lays on the couch and breathes her clothes in. She feels them between her fingers. She feels the scar on her lower belly, barely covered by Eve’s small shirt, and traces her fingers gently around it.
She wonders how Eve’s scar looks. Or if Eve has ever stood naked in the mirror staring at it for hours, tracing her fingers around it, her thoughts overwhelmed by Villanelle. Because many nights Villanelle has done the same thing. When she thinks of this now, it seems so far away and as if she is a stranger to herself. That person is not who she is now. The feelings that ran through her when she did that then, are completely different than her feelings now as she touches the scar.
She used to get excited, touch herself as she thought of Eve, and the way Eve sounded and looked as she pressed the blade into her. Now, she feels warm, listening to Eve shower just feet away from her, laying in Eve’s clothes and wrapped in Eve’s scent. She feels alive, in a completely different way.
When Eve is done and walks out of the bathroom, Villanelle lays on the couch, watching Eve plug her phone in, move her bag to the floor, and start to pull down the covers to get in.
Villanelle gets up silently and makes her way over to her.
“Can I try something?” She gently asks Eve.
She’s waiting for Eve to be completely put off by this question or to ask too many questions, but she doesn’t. She looks exhausted. “Sure.” She breathes out, not a fight in her.
Villanelle moves to the other side of the bed and gets in. “Come here. Face me.” She tells Eve.
Eve gets under the covers and faces Villanelle, just a foot apart. Villanelle can tell Eve is nervous, just by the way the bed shakes a little.
“Breathe, Eve.” Villanelle chuckles and slowly moves her hand up to Eve’s face, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.
They stay like this as Villanelle traces Eve’s face, lips, and eyelids, memorizing her face with a gentle touch. She doesn’t know what possessed her to do this. She's not sure what possessed her to keep her hands where they are and keep a distance between them, but she’s found her hand is now shaking a little, and her lip trembling.
Eve looks at her with a new gentleness. Villanelle closes her eyes but snaps them open when she feels Eve brush her hair out of her face and start to trace her fingers over Villanelle's face as she does to Eve's.
“Who is this Villanelle?” Eve asks, running a finger down her cheek and across her chin.
“I don’t know.” Villanelle says honestly.
Eve moves her hand down to the hem of Villanelle's shirt and finds her scar right away as if her hand belonged there. As if the scar was pulling her in.
Villanelle makes a noise at this touch that doesn’t belong to her.
Eve snaps her hand back and says “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
Villanelle slowly reaches out for Eve’s hand and moves it back, feeling whole at the touch. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. You can feel.”
Villanelle's hand runs through Eve’s hair as Eve's fingers trace shakily over the scar. Every inch of Villanelle is trembling at this closeness. She doesn’t want more though, which is new. She just wants this. She’s always wanted this.
“Can I see yours, Eve?” Villanelle asks, as Eve darts her eyes back up. Eve nods slightly and turns on her side, back towards Villanelle.
Villanelle runs her fingers up Eve’s back, moving the shirt up with her. She feels Eve shake beneath her fingers. They are both trembling with each touch.
As Villanelle spots the scar and feels it under her fingers, she feels a wave of emotion that she can't find a place for. She inches closer to Eve as she traces it and lays her face in Eve’s hair, breathing “I’m sorry” into Eve’s ear. Villanelle lays her hand on the nearly fatal healed wound and feels what she now realizes is regret and disgust.
“I know.” Eve says, placing her hand over her shoulder to lay on Villanelle's. “I know now.”
Chapter 8: Can you feel it?
Feeling Villanelle's breath on her neck, and her face in her hair sets every bit of Eve on fire. This isn’t the same Villanelle. This Villanelle doesn’t repulse and attract her at the same time. There is only attraction left for her. That, and of course, curiosity. She wouldn't feel like herself if she wasn't curious.
“What did you feel when you shot me?” Eve is testing the waters here. Are they completely open to one another? Or does there still need to be some pullback?
Villanelle doesn’t hesitate when she says flatly in Eve’s hair “I wanted to kill you.”
“What did you feel when you stabbed me?” Villanelle asks, running her fingers around Eve’s scar.
“I wanted to prove you wrong.”
Villanelle stops her fingers at this and asks, “Wrong about what?”
“Wrong about everything. Wrong about you being untouchable and invincible. Wrong about how weak or scared I was. Wrong about how I felt about you.”
Eve knew that Villanelle thought very highly of herself in every area. How could she not? She's beautiful, the best at everything she does, rich, young, incredibly brilliant. Eve could tell Villanelle thought that Eve wanted her physically, but Eve didn't necessarily want that kind of closeness the majority of the time. The majority of the time, she wanted to know who Villanelle was and what drove her to do the things she does. How does Villanelle feel about herself now, in this moment, Eve thinks.
“And how did you feel about me, Eve?” Villanelle says almost purring, softly, closer to Eve’s ear.
“I was obsessed with you. I was infatuated with you. I was frightened and disgusted with you. I hated you and wanted you at the same time.”
“And how do you feel about me now? After everything you know. After everything I’ve done.” Villanelle asks, sounding almost defeated.
Eve turns to face Villanelle at this question. Villanelle looks expectantly at her.
“Confused.” Eve says, brushing Villanelle's cheek with her thumb.
“Where is your ring?” Villanelle asks, noticing Eve had taken off her wedding ring.
Eve had played with it in the shower, deep in thought, with a feeling of loss. It loosened with soap and she found herself removing it, placing it on the soap dish, and exiting the shower without it.
“I want to try something.” Eve says, dismissing Villanelle's question.
Eve reaches a hand out unsteadily to brush Villanelle's bottom lip with her thumb and to her shock, Villanelle's lip quivers. It’s as if Villanelle is nervous. The last time they lay like this, Villanelle was so confident, moved with ease, knew what she wanted. Now both of them are holding back, nervous about how to approach one another. Nervous about what being close to one another would feel like or do to them.
Eve moves closer to Villanelle, their breaths mingling now, inches away from each other’s lips.
“Eve, you don’t have to. I don’t need this from you if you don’t want to. This wasn’t what this was about for me. Not anymore.” Villanelle says with resolve.
“Then what is this about? When do we do something about this unspoken thing between us?” Eve says, gently brushing Villanelle’s upper lip now.
Villanelle licks her lips at the touch. “It’s not so unspoken on my side.” She chuckles.
“You’re so different.” Eve says, cupping her cheek. “Your eyes even look different.”
Villanelle's eyes have always been beautiful and looked at her with intent. But now there’s a softness, a hesitance to them.
Without any thought and what felt like gravity pulling her in, Eve brushes Villanelles' lips with hers gently and pulls back, trying to register what that felt like. Her stomach clenches and she's holding her breath again. She lets out a shaky breath and feels resolve.
Villanelle remains completely still while Eve does it again. Villanelle tastes like toothpaste. Eve sighs into the next one, moving Villanelle's bottom lip down with her thumb because Villanelle won't move her lips.
When Eve pulls back, Villanelle licks her lips slowly, seeming to savor the taste left and watches Eve patiently. Eve can tell Villanelle is holding back everything that’s been building inside. Eve is slowly letting it go. With each graze of their lips.
Eve nudges Villanelle's chin to the side and burrows into the crook of her neck, inhaling her hair and skin, which smells like soap. Eve presses her lips to the pulse in Villanelle's neck, feeling it race beneath her lips.
This is the first time Villanelle moves. She wraps her hand in Eve’s hair and gently pulls her closer.
Villanelle sighs and kisses her temple, whispering “Eve...”
Eve is taken aback by how gentle this is. She didn’t expect this when she thought of how it would be with Villanelle. She expected it to be rough, both of them grabbing, biting, pushing, and pulling. But this is different.
Eve makes her way up Villanelle's jaw and fully takes her bottom lip into her mouth. Villanelle opens her mouth to finally let Eve in and Eve takes advantage of this. She slowly moves her tongue into Villanelle's mouth to be met with Villanelle doing the same.
The sounds Villanelle is making are different than anything Eve's fantasized about. No impatience or anger in her throat. The sounds are the sound of relief.
Villanelle has moved her hands to Eve’s waist and tries to pull Eve closer, but there’s no getting closer. Their bodies are pressed impossibly close.
Eve moves her hands at the hem of the shirt Villanelle is wearing, her own shirt. The familiar feel and smell of her own shirt, but on Villanelle, is comforting. Eve slowly moves her hands across Villanelle's belly, her fingertips impossibly gentle, feeling every goosebump.
They've only barely touched one another before. Even the slightest of touches felt almost inappropriate in the past. Even just the graze of hands felt painful and pleasant for Eve in the past. This isn't just exploring new skin for Eve. This is exploring how to touch another human being in a different way. A human being that she felt she knew so well, but with each graze of new skin, Eve knows now that she knew nothing.
Villanelle shivers under her touch and pulls back, looking at Eve with an intensity that makes Eve's hands become still.
“Why are you holding back?” Eve breathes into Villanelle's mouth.
“Honestly, I’m afraid you’re going to keep going.” Villanelle chuckles.
“Is that so bad?” Eve says.
“God, no.” Villanelle says smirking. "You aren't stupid, Eve. You know what this does to me. You know what you do to me." Villanelle says into Eve's ear.
Eve does know. But does Villanelle know she does the same to her?
"I know." Eve says, honestly. "I've known for a while."
“I can already feel how this is going to go. Can you feel it?” Villanelle says.
Eve’s breathing picks up. “I can feel it." Eve hears this escape her mouth and wants to cover her mouth. She wants to stop saying these things that make her more and more vulnerable.
“This is going differently than I imagined it to go, though.” Villanelle says.
“How did you think it would go?”
Eve knows how she herself thought it would go. Every time she thought of them getting physical, she thought it would be a race to see who could hurt and please each other first. It would be just an intense sexual tension exploding and no containment. The thought used to excite her, but she feared for her life at the same time.
“More dramatics from me of course.” Villanelle laughs, “I thought I’d be in control. I would want to be in control. I would want to be rough. Take what I needed to satiate curiosity.” Her Russian accent rolls fluidly through Eve’s ears and makes her ache.
“And now? What do you want?”
Villanelle tips Eve’s chin up to look into her eyes.
Chapter 9: Have I bled enough for you, yet?
Still soft though
That word lingers for a while.
“You.” It plays over and over again in Villanelle’s mind as she looks into Eve’s eyes.
Villanelle sees confusion, curiosity, want and sadness is Eve’s eyes. She wonders what Eve sees in hers. Villanelle has never been an expert when it came to processing her own feelings. She can expertly imitate feeling. She knows how to react accordingly and in a timely manner. She knows what others expect her to feel in certain situations.
Villanelle also knows for a fact that she’s felt a range of emotions throughout life, most of them being anger, jealousy, defeat, abandonment, and disappointment. Emotions she would classify as ‘negative’ emotions. Only a certain handful of people have elicited what she would classify as ‘positive’ emotion from her. Konstantin made her laugh and he felt like what she believed family felt like. Anna, she thought, made her feel loved, desired, and cared for at one point.
Eve, however, made her feel everything. Eve had a way of making Villanelle feel wanted, strong, clever, intelligent, beautiful, and funny. And at the same time, Eve could make Villanelle feel dangerous, out of control, childish, starving, and repulsive.
Villanelle thought, at some point, Eve might care for her or even love her. But everything Villanelle thought she knew about those feelings developed from dysfunctional relationships she once considered to be normal. Villanelle no longer knew what feelings were real, or what feelings she was forcing herself to feel out of expectation.
There is a shift in Eve that she feels now. And she wonders if this shift is only due to the shift in Villanelle. Would Eve still feel this way if Villanelle hadn’t seen or done the things she’s done in the past few months?
“And what do you want, Eve?”
Eve looks at her, Villanelle’s fingers still tilting Eve’s chin up to her.
“I want a lot of things.” Eve says in her normal, avoidant way.
“God, you’re annoying.” Villanelle laughs softly, running her hand through Eve’s hair.
At that point, Eve is all over her. Wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her tighter to her. Her mouth is on Villanelle’s, her tongue searching for Villanelle’s tongue. This kiss feels more frantic, more aggressive.
“Oh, wow.” Villanelle mutters as she takes a breath.
Villanelle doesn’t know where she can put her hands. She wants them everywhere. She feels like they need to be everywhere and nowhere. As the kiss deepens, Villanelle finds herself gripping Eve’s hips and instinctively pulling them towards hers. A noise escapes from Eve that vibrates inside of Villanelle’s mouth. That noise makes Villanelle’s head swim and, for once, she has no plan, no fix. All that Villanelle is trained to do is lost in the noise Eve makes when they touch.
Villanelle has always been extremely sexual, but on a very surface level. She knows where to touch, what touch comes next, what sound means more or less, and it’s become almost robotic to her. Partners have come and gone, Villanelle only touching them, and not letting them return the favor. She wanted that control. She’s trained hard to be the best in every area, including this area. None of that training feels right with Eve.
When her thoughts subside, Villanelle is pulling Eve on top of her, Eve straddling her waist. Eve says, “Oh!” as if she’s surprised by this swift movement and new position.
“Is this okay?” Villanelle asks, afraid she’s gone too far and too fast with Eve.
Eve doesn’t answer, but she looks down at Villanelle with something dark in her eyes. Villanelle has seen these eyes on only a few occasions. As Villanelle realizes what feelings these eyes convey, Eve’s hands wrap around Villanelle’s neck gently and rest there.
“What are you doing, Eve?” Villanelle asks, placing her hands around Eve’s at her throat. Curiosity rips through her and desire makes her tremble.
“How does it feel? Having my hands around your neck?” Eve asks darkly.
Villanelle thinks of when she’s seen Eve look this way. When Eve stabbed her, her eyes were scared, but dark. When Villanelle was being strangled by Raymond, Eve’s eyes scared, but dark.
“It feels...” Eve’s grip tightens as she begins to speak, “It feels like your hands belong there. Like they’ve always been there.”
Villanelle sits up with Eve on her lap, Eve’s hands still wrapped tight around her neck. Villanelle pushes herself closer to Eve, their heads almost touching.
“Do it.” Villanelle whispers. “I deserve it.”
Eve shakes on top of her. Villanelle waits patiently, as Eve remains still. Villanelle could easily remove Eve’s hands and make that the end of whatever this is for Eve. But Villanelle knows that this is more than anger, resentment, or desire. This is about control for Eve, which she has had very little of since she’s had Villanelle in her life. While being out of control always made Villanelle feel uncomfortable, letting Eve be in control of not only her own actions, but Villanelle’s as well, is exhilarating.
“You don’t need to prove anything to me, Eve. I know you could, would, and can do it. I’ve always known.”
Villanelle’s hands each grab a fistful of Eve’s hair to test a tug backward, but Eve isn’t budging.
“God, you are beautiful.” Villanelle says. Eve has never looked more beautiful, with Villanelle’s neck in her grip. Villanelle’s life bounding beneath Eve’s fingertips.
“Stop talking.” Eve says firmly.
Villanelle is allowed to lean forward. “You want it like this, then?” Villanelle breathes into Eve’s ear. When she says this, Eve digs her nails into Villanelle’s neck, breaking skin.
“You want it rough, biting, tearing into one another? You want to make me bleed for it?” Villanelle feels trickles of blood drip down her neck. She feels no pain, just elation.
Eve’s eyes are frantic now and her grip feels more like she’s pulling Villanelle into her, holding onto Villanelle for balance.
Villanelle tugs Eve’s hair again, but harder. Instead of releasing her neck, Eve hisses at the pain and grinds her hips slowly into Villanelle.
Villanelle’s mouth flies open, almost a squeak escaping her throat, and her hands release Eve’s hair and quickly find Eve’s hips. She wants her hands there to stop the movement if she needs to, or to feel every twitch of Eve’s hips on her own.
Eve slowly grinds into Villanelle again, both moaning at the contact. Villanelle is searching Eve’s eyes for something. Anything. An answer to what she’s supposed to do here. She wants to be told what is expected of her.
“God, what do you want, Eve? You are driving me crazy.” Villanelle is almost pleading with her. Villanelle leans her forehead against Eve’s forehead now. “Tell me, Eve.”
Eve releases one hand from Villanelle’s throat, causing Villanelle to take open-mouthed breaths. As Villanelle tries to normalize her breathing, Eve grabs one of Villanelle’s hands that rest on her hips and moves it in between her legs.
Villanelle gasps, forehead against Eve’s, both of them staring into one another. Eve’s breathing has quickened as Villanelle puts pressure where Eve seems to want it. Villanelle runs her fingers slowly over the outside of Eve’s shorts, feeling the warmth and dampness beneath her fingertips. Villanelle wraps her other arm tightly around Eve’s waist, holding onto her, pulling her into her fingers, maneuvering Eve’s hips to find the rhythm that matches their now in-sync breathing.
“Villanelle...” Eve moans with hesitance as Villanelle moves Eve’s hips back and forth with one arm. Villanelle’s heart is pounding, her mouth open, her eyes never leaving Eve’s.
And with their foreheads still together, and one of Eve’s hands still around Villanelle’s neck, they slowly move this way, rocking back and forth, Eve’s hair falling over her shoulders, Villanelle’s blood beneath Eve’s fingertips.
Villanelle isn’t sure when Eve releases her neck with her other hand, but Eve is now pulling Villanelle’s face into the crook of her neck as they move. Both of Eve’s hands are on the back of Villanelle’s head, her elbows digging into Villanelle’s shoulders, pressing Villanelle in and holding onto Villanelle as if she were to disappear if she let go.
Villanelle isn't sure how long they move like this. She is consumed with the noises, the smells, the feeling of her fingers in-between Eve's thighs, the smell of Eve's neck.
When Villanelle feels Eve’s legs start to shake, she notices that she is moaning along with Eve. Villanelle realizes that her eyes had been clamped shut when she’s snapped back into the rhythm that they’ve created by the sound of her own, unfamiliar noises. She has never heard herself sound like this. She has never held onto someone or something as if she needed it to continue living.
Eve’s breathing is getting quicker, her shorts are getting damper under Villanelle’s fingertips, and Villanelle feels a trickle of blood from her neck drop to hit the shirt of Eve’s that she is wearing.
When she knows Eve is close, she leans her head back from the comfort of the crook of Eve’s neck and shoulder to look at Eve. Eve is almost panting, mouth open, eyes closed, sweat beads forming on her forehead. When Eve starts to come, Eve’s eyes fly open.
“God, Eve, look at me.” Villanelle breathes as she paces the rhythm of Eve’s hips slightly faster through her climax. Eve’s eyes are glassy and unfocused when they first open, but quickly find and focus on Villanelle’s.
Eve maintains eye contact as she shakes on top of Villanelle’s hips and fingertips, willing Villanelle to move faster and press harder with the grind of her hips and a tight grip in Villanelle’s hair. Pleading with Villanelle with her eyes and the noises that escape her throat.
Villanelle keeps her arm fastened around Eve’s waist, guiding them both through Eve’s climax, both gasping for air through their moans, Eve’s moans coming as sobs from her chest and Villanelle’s rolling out of her at the feeling of Eve’s release. As they slow down and as Eve trembles on top of her, they taste one another, tongues gently exploring each other’s mouths, lips and teeth, both moaning softly at each touch.
They stay there, holding onto one another, chests heaving, sweat dripping, blood drying underneath Eve’s fingernails, blood drying at the scratches on Villanelle’s neck, their eyes still searching for answers in each others gaze.
When Villanelle removes her fingertips from in between Eve’s thighs, she immediately feels the loss of that wet warmth. Eve does as well, because she shudders on top of her. Villanelle runs her hand up one of Eve’s arms and peels Eve’s fingers from her hair, bringing Eve’s hand to her eyesight. She sees her own blood, dark red, dried and crusted underneath Eve’s fingernails.
“Have I bled enough for you, yet?" Villanelle says, pressing her lips to Eve’s palm, wanting like she’s never wanted, willing Eve’s answer to be ‘yes’.
Chapter 10: I’m glad different suits you
Eve stares at the dried blood underneath her fingernails. She remembers the last time she stared at her hands like this. She was sitting in her tub at the home she shared with Niko. She had just stabbed Villanelle in Paris. She thought she had killed Villanelle. This memory coming to the surface takes a hold of Eve. She looks up to study her own face in the mirror of the bathroom of the hotel room she’s sharing with Villanelle. Her hands are shaking as they did then.
Eve doesn’t recognize herself in the mirror. Her face rests differently, her eyes have taken on a darker color, the bags under her eyes are prominent, her hair is messier than usual, and her breathing feels forced, like she has to be conscious of taking each breath. Is this how being around Villanelle is going to feel like? Or is this what true loss feels like now? The loss of her husband, her job, her friends, her house, any kind of stability she had left. But after tonight, what has she gained?
She’s never felt anything near the way she just felt with Villanelle. That wasn’t sex. That was holding onto one another, releasing what they had held in for so long now. While Eve feels a sense of loss in other areas, she has gained an understanding in this one. She now understands why her hand always reached for Villanelle, as if Villanelle was a black hole, pulling her in. She now understands why, when there were stolen touches of the hand or arm between them, electricity would radiate throughout her, following a soothing warmth that made her feel like home. She now understands that their bodies fit perfectly around one another as if they were one person. There was no forcing a puzzle piece that wasn’t meant to fit.
Eve washes her hands, scraping the dried blood from underneath her fingernails. When she emerges from the bathroom, Villanelle is curled up under the covers, eyes closed and snoring lightly. She thought Villanelle would be a sprawler when she slept. Instead, Villanelle is curled into a fetal position, so tight that her form under the covers looks almost like a ball.
When Eve gets under the covers, Villanelle wakes and reaches for her, unwrapping from her fetal position and pulling Eve into her, her chest against Eve’s back, Villanelle’s arm around Eve’s waist holding tight.
Eve rests her hand on Villanelle’s, running her fingertips lightly up and down Villanelle’s knuckles and the length of her fingers. These hands have killed so many. Eve’s hands have killed many as well. They aren’t so different, are they?
“Mhmm...that feels nice.” Villanelle says softly, barely waking from sleep. It does, Eve thinks, as she traces Villanelle’s fingernails.
Villanelle begins to snore lightly with her face pressed into Eve’s neck. Eve feels Villanelle’s breath against her and shivers. Eve wonders when the shivers from any kind of touch from Villanelle will cease to happen. Or will it always feel like this? She hopes it will always feel like this.
“Have I bled enough for you, yet?” She hears Villanelle’s question ring in her mind as she drifts off to sleep, with a new lightness in her body that she hasn’t felt since she’s met Villanelle.
When she wakes, she feels cold. Villanelle is no longer beside her. The feeling she gets from that feels familiar. She began to feel that way whenever they were apart in Rome. Not just physically apart, but the feeling of loss when she couldn’t contact her just to hear her voice. It’s what drove her to sleep with Hugo, and then leave Hugo for dead as she ran towards what would always fill that void.
As soon as she wonders where Villanelle is, the hotel door opens and Villanelle walks in, wearing her pajamas still, with her boots and Eve’s jacket from the other night. A muffin hangs from her mouth as she balances a cup tray with what Eve hopes is coffee, and a bag and room key in the other. Eve hopes the bag contains breakfast.
Villanelle makes eye contact and doesn’t break it as she places everything down to retrieve only the bag and coffee for Eve, muffin still hanging out of her mouth.
She hands Eve her coffee and the bag and sits on the edge of the bed with her, pulling the muffin out of her mouth as she finally takes a full bite.
“Thank you.” Eve says shakily. The way Villanelle is looking at her is with a new intensity that is making it hard for Eve to breathe normally.
“Breathe, Eve.” Villanelle says, smiling with a full mouth.
"Is it that easy, then? Breathing?" Eve says chuckling, opening her bag to see an identical muffin.
They watch each other eat, their swallowing echoing in the silence between them.
When Eve speaks, it comes out shakily at first, but then she tries to steady herself.
"You are an enigma, sometimes, Villanelle."
Villanelle stops chewing, mouth full, and mumbles. "How so?"
"The way I see you changes so frequently. You look so innocent and young right now. When I saw you a year ago, you looked dangerous and mischievous. And then, last night you looked like a stranger, but one that I've known since I can remember." Last night is how Eve will now think of Villanelle. It burns into her memory. She looked tortured, yet invigorated. She looked gentle but full of want and intent. She looked vulnerable, yet strong as she pulled Eve onto her. And she looked at Eve while Eve was tracing her face with her fingertips like she was afraid this was their last goodbye.
"Sexy is a word that's missing out of that statement, Eve." Villanelle says after she finally swallows.
"There she is." Eve laughs.
"I'm still here, but different." Villanelle says, all humor lost now.
"Mhmm...I like different." Eve says, resting her hand on Villanelle's.
"I'm glad different suits you." Villanelle says smiling.
Chapter 11: I've become reckless
The warm water feels like heaven on Villanelle’s skin. The warmth hits Villanelle and her shoulders relax. She rolls her neck back and forth, her muscles unclenching as she stretches.
As she rolls her neck to the side, she eyes Eve's ring in the soap dish.
As Villanelle stares at the ring, the water stings at her neck where Eve had dug her nails into her, drawing the slightest bit of blood at each scratch. The dried blood is slowly wetting again and rolls off of Villanelle’s skin into the shower water below her. Villanelle wishes these scratches would’ve been deeper, enough to leave a few more scars. Permanent on her as a reminder of Eve, and as a reminder of her own humanity.
A newly founded humanity. If she hadn’t met Eve, these chain of events would’ve never occurred. She could live without a few memories that these events carry, but the majority of it, she doesn’t know how she lived so long without it.
Villanelle throws a hand up against the shower wall to steady herself, suddenly lightheaded as her head swims in memory and emotion. Flashes of last night, flashes of her mother, flashes of Konstantin leaving her yet again. The feeling of strangling Rhian and the disgust that washed over her as she did it. Strangling was so personal. And almost every kill Villanelle felt a thrill from felt personal to her, even when her marks were complete strangers. That feeling caused Villanelle to release her grip from around Rhian's throat, even though she was a threat. Especially to Eve. She had to make Rhain disappear. So she did what she did best, but from a distance.
Villanelle feels something around her waist and instinctively grabs it, wanting it gone and off of her.
It’s Eve. It’s Eve’s wrist that she has twisted in her hand.
“Shit, Villanelle, stop.” Eve says through gritted teeth.
Villanelle releases her wrist at once and whips around. Eve is naked in front of her, shivering.
“Here, get under the water. Jesus, Eve. You can’t sneak up on me like that.” Villanelle says, switching places with her.
“I’m sorry. I thought you heard me. I was so loud.” Eve says, warm water hitting her back, goosebumps forming on her skin.
Villanelle is snapped into reality and now fully realizes that Eve is in the shower with her. Naked. She looks her up and down as Eve watches her. Villanelle feels uncharacteristically nervous but completely unashamed of the skin they are sharing with one another.
“What were you so deep in thought over?” Eve asks.
Villanelle leaves out everything besides, “You.”
“What else?” Eve says eyebrows raised. “It’s a new day, with new questions.”
Villanelle grabs the shampoo and lathers some in her hands, looking into Eve’s eyes as she breaks the resolve that keeps everything locked away, never sharing or revealing.
“You're so annoying." Villanelle says with a smile. "Turn around.” Villanelle says, and Eve does so.
Villanelle runs her hands through Eve’s hair, washing it gently, fingers at Eve’s scalp. Eve leans her head back into Villanelle’s hands as the warm water hits her chest.
“What all do you know about my childhood? What did your file say?” Villanelle asks, a little smugly, as she massages Eve's scalp. She knows Eve is rolling her eyes.
“All I’m aware of is that your family, your born family, are all deceased. You are the only living family member.”
“Not entirely true. I thought that for a while as well. But, the majority of my family still lived.” Villanelle says, using past tense and wishing she didn’t.
“Lived?” Eve asks as Villanelle rinses her hair of shampoo.
“Yes. Konstantin found my family and I felt the need to seek them out.” Villanelle says, starting to find herself wanting to work through her feelings with Eve. “I felt like I needed some kind of closure. I felt lost after Rome. Like I didn't fit or belong anywhere. I needed to know if I fit there, with my family.”
“And it didn’t? Feel like belonging?” Eve says turning to face Villanelle now. Eve grabs a washcloth and lathers it with soap. She gently washes any remaining blood left on Villanelle’s neck.
“No. Opposite.” Villanelle says softly, the feeling of Eve's touch at her neck again teasing Villanelle's memories of last night.
Eve moves to one of Villanelle’s arms now, running the washcloth gently up and down its length. Villanelle closes her eyes at this touch. She can’t remember the last time someone took care of her like this.
“And when you said ‘lived’, what did that mean?” Eve says as if she knows what the answer will be.
Villanelle places her hand on Eve’s wrist to stop her from washing. She pulls Eve’s forehead to hers, water dripping between them, foreheads gently touching.
“You know what that means. You don’t want to think it. But, you know what I am.” Villanelle says, feeling ashamed and disgusted with herself. She knows how Eve looks at her when she realizes something like this about Villanelle. She always looks shocked, intrigued, and disgusted all at once. But she doesn’t here. She moves her hand behind Villanelle's neck, pressing their foreheads even closer together.
“I do know what it means. And I know now why you were the way you were. And why you’re different now.” Eve says, gently and full of understanding.
Villanelle wants to ask, but doesn't want to hear the answer to what she's wondered for some time now. Where Villanelle feels like she belongs is right here, Eve's forehead pressed to hers.
"Where do you think I belong, Eve?" Villanelle asks, prepared to feel even more lost than before this question escaped her lips.
Eve doesn't break eye contact with Villanelle. She doesn't move. They stay there, foreheads pressed together, feeling the electricity and warmth between them.
"I'm starting to feel like you belong wherever I belong, Villanelle." Eve says "I've never felt so lost, yet so found."
Villanelle feels a jolt run through her when Eve says this. She didn't expect it. She expected avoidance, denial, anything but what she now knows is the complete truth rolling out of Eve's lips.
Villanelle lets out a shaky sigh. “God, where did you come from, Eve?”
Eve places a hand over Villanelle’s heart. It’s pounding in her chest. The feeling of Eve’s hand on her chest feels like any other touch they share...fire, electricity, warmth, and now, understanding and acceptance.
Villanelle pulls Eve to her first this time, chest to chest, warm water running between them. Eve drops the washcloth she's been holding to the shower floor, her hand now gripping Villanelle's arm. Eve stops when Villanelle visibly winces at the pressure put on the newly healing wound on her left upper arm.
“What happened here?” Eve says, gently running a finger over the wound.
“Occupational hazard.” Villanelle says shrugging and matter of fact.
“You’re always so careful, though.” Eve says, searching Villanelle’s eyes with hers.
“I’ve become reckless.” Villanelle breathes against Eve’s lips as she closes the distance between them.
Chapter 12: That sounds kind of nice
When Villanelle closes the distance between them, Eve is determined to be more gentle this time around.
“Have I bled enough for you, yet?” Villanelle’s words ring in her head.
Yes. The answer is yes.
Eve never thought the answer to this question would ever be yes with Villanelle. After everything she has done.
But Eve has behaved just as awful. She’s killed. The first one didn’t count, Eve used to think. She knows now she would’ve done it regardless. Seeing the life being choked out of Villanelle stirred something in her that had always been there, and now she realizes she wanted it to be stirred.
Dasha had been a collaborative effort. At first, she thought of Niko when she pressed down on her ribs enough to hear them crack. But at the end of it, she thought of only Villanelle. Dasha’s words rang loud in her head as she grinned down at her - “You will never be able to touch her now.”
She’s also behaved badly with Villanelle. The stabbing is one thing. Worse though, Eve has known how Villanelle feels about her. Villanelle wasn't so secretive about it. Even though it hadn’t really come from Villanelle’s lips until Rome, Eve saw the way Villanelle looked at her. Yet, for Eve’s own selfish reasons, out of curiosity and confusion, she would continuously seek Villanelle out and play along with whatever game Villanelle felt like playing that encounter. She would behave as if she was resisting in front of Villanelle, but really, that was a part of the game and Eve was more than a participant.
Villanelle kisses her gently, tongue moving slowly across hers, keeping her hands completely still at Eve’s waist. Eve doesn’t have to force herself to be gentle - she pours everything she’s feeling into this kiss. And she’s overwhelmed with the smell, feel, and taste of Villanelle. Being around Villanelle has always been annoyingly overwhelming and intoxicating. But this is a different type of intoxication.
Eve had never been overtly emotionally attracted to Villanelle until just recently. How could she have been? Eve’s training and knowledge of the type of person Villanelle is, or was, told her that Villanelle couldn’t feel the way a normal person felt. Anger was always intensified and misdirected. Completely void of empathy and sympathy. Love manifested as possession. Eve has always been physically attracted to her, even though she would try to deny it. Even through the denial, Eve would find herself thinking about Villanelle during sex. She would wake touching herself, realizing she had been dreaming of Villanelle. Not just her body aches for Villanelle now. Her heart aches for her as Villanelle presses her chest to hers. It aches and pounds being so close to Villanelle’s own heart.
She knows Villanelle feels this as well because she feels hesitant and timid against Eve’s touch.
“You’re still holding back.” Eve breathes against her as they pull apart.
“Someone needs to be the adult here, Eve.” Villanelle says with that grin.
“Oh, please.” But she’s right. Villanelle says she’s become reckless, but this is the most control Eve has seen Villanelle display.
"I don't believe that I'm saying this to you, of all people, but stop overthinking this." Eve says, moving her kiss to Villanelle's neck.
Eve feels Villanelle's body tense, a gasp leave her lips, and Villanelle's fingers dig into her waist.
Villanelle leans her head back to give Eve more access.
"I'm trying to take it slowwwww." Villanelle says, drawing out the last word when Eve's tongue licks over her pulse point.
"Why? I didn't imagine that to be your style, Villanelle." Eve breathes into her neck.
"You're right, as usual. But, you're different. I want to take my time with you." Villanelle says softly.
"Mhmm. When you say stuff like that though, I can't help but want to be closer." Eve says into Villanelle's ear, laying her lips on her earlobe.
"So, let's make a deal then." Villanelle says, moving her fingers to trail up and down Eve's bare back. "You give me what I want, and I'll give you what you want."
Eve really likes the sound of this. And it feels like a game, which gives her a familiar rush.
"And what you want is to take it slow?"
"Yes. And what do you want, Eve?" Villanelle whispers as Eve trails her lips to the side of her mouth.
"I want to touch you somewhere I've never touched you before." Eve says matter of fact.
Villanelle shudders when she says this. "And, can we take our time with that? Can you space that out?"
"Yes." Eve says, taking Villanelle's bottom lip into hers.
"Mhmm. Okay, good. Then you can." Villanelle whispers into Eve's lips.
Eve feels nervous now. There so much of Villanelle that she wants to feel. But, in an unexpected move, Villanelle wants to take it slow.
Eve's first thought is of Villanelle's scar. As she pulls Villanelle's lips to hers, her hand moves down to rest over the scar she created.
Villanelle lays her hand over Eve's. "You've already felt that." Villanelle says with a smirk.
"I want to feel it differently." Eve says, slowly lowering herself down on her knees, never breaking eye contact, so that she to face with Villanelle's lower torso.
Villanelle's breathing picks up and her eyes widen at this move. And Eve loves that she has that kind of effect over Villanelle.
Eve beings to gently kiss Villanelle's abdomen, all while tracing the scar with her fingertip. She moves her mouth to the scar and lightly moves over it with her tongue.
Villanelle's hands fly to the back of Eve's head, gently pressing her further into it.
"Do you like that you gave that to me, Eve?" Villanelle asks breathily as Eve's tongue roams over the scar, feeling every edge to it.
"Yes. Do you like that I gave that to you, Villanelle?" Eve mumbles into the scar.
"God, yes." Villanelle says shakily. "I used to touch myself while looking at it, while tracing it like you're doing now with my fingertips."
Eve laughs. "Still pretty blunt, are you?"
"That won't change." Villanelle chuckles as she runs her fingers through Eve's hair.
"Is that slow enough for you, then?" Eve mumbles into Villanelle's abdomen as she runs her tongue over it.
”Somewhat. This is going to be much harder than I originally thought, though.” Villanelle says seriously, as she pulls Eve up to face her.
”I wasn't done, Villanelle.” Eve says, disappointed.
”I know. But you being there is making it hard for me to play by my own stupid, stupid rules.” Villanelle chuckles.
Then, to Eve’s shock, Villanelle gently turns her around so that her back rests against Villanelle’s chest. Eve feels Villanelle’s lips at her scar and embarrassingly trembles.
”What are you doing?” Eve says nervously.
"Playing by the rules, Eve."
Villanelle's tongue traces Eve's scar and a moan escapes Eve's lips.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, but I love that you have this. Do you love it?" Villanelle asks as she moves her mouth to Eve's shoulder.
"Now I do." Eve says, both of them laughing at this.
Villanelle reaches over Eve's shoulder to switch the water off.
“What the hell, Villanelle!” Eve says, shocked by how easily Villanelle was stopping this.
"If we keep touching like this, we won't stop." Villanelle says against Eve's ear.
“That sounds kind of nice.” Eve says, imitating Villanelle’s voice and words from the other day, when they danced together. Bodies pressed up close, having no idea what choices were to be made.
“Oooooo, mocking me, mhmm? Look who’s being an asshole, now?” Villanelle says, wrapping Eve in a towel. “I really hate that this is coming out of my mouth, but let’s get dressed.”
Chapter 13: You don't have to ask for permission
This is a bigger chapter with multiple POV. I regret making the chapters so small, so I may go back and edit them to switch up the flow.
“I really regret stuffing your bag full of only turtlenecks.” Villanelle says, feeling the tightness around her neck as she tugs at one of Eve’s that she’s forced to borrow.
“Stop stretching it! You’re ruining it, Villanelle.”
“You will not be wearing this again.” Villanelle says, dramatically stretching the neck even further.
“Sit still for two seconds, please.” Eve says in a very familiar tone.
“I will if you stop touching my thigh every two seconds, Eve.”
They sit close on the couch of the hotel room. Villanelle has her legs propped up on the coffee table in front of them. Eve hasn’t been able to stop reaching for Villanelle. Villanelle loves it, but it’s driving her crazy and she’s already prone to being very distracted.
Eve blinks at her as if she is just waking up, and removes her hand from Villanelle’s thigh. Eve didn’t realize she had been acting this way, and Villanelle smirks at her as if she won an argument. Eve looks away from Villanelle, leans forward and puts her head in her hands, sighing loudly.
“Breatheeeeeee, Eve.” Villanelle says dramatically.
Eve takes a few deep breaths that seem to center her.
“Look at me.” Villanelle says, placing her hand on Eve’s head.
“No.” Eve mumbles are muffled by her hands.
“Please.” Villanelle says sweetly.
Eve lifts her head, looks at Villanelle, and leans back on the couch to mimic Villanelle’s position.
“The day I asked you to meet me at the dance hall, I had to do something to keep us safe. Safe from The Twelve.” Villanelle clears her throat. “You know what I had to do, but I thought you should hear it from me.”
“I’m assuming they know about me and who I am to you?” Eve asks.
“Are you that obvious with it?” Eve asks, smiling.
“Yes. It’s always Eve this and Eve that with me.” Villanelle chuckles and waves her hands dramatically. Villanelle says this jokingly, but really she should’ve been more careful about how much she shared about Eve to others. Another way that she had been reckless.
“Mhmm. So what does that mean for us?” Eve asks, serious now.
“It means that someone wants me dead. And to get to me, they will use you. It's just a matter of time, Eve.”
Flashes of Eve getting strangled by some cronie of The Twelve creep into her mind. The thought makes her swallow down her nausea.
”Okay. So what can we do to make us safe?” Eve asks.
Us and we. That’s all Villanelle ever wanted to hear. But, when it comes out of Eve's mouth, she hates the sound of it. It means that Eve is put in danger once again by her association with Villanelle.
“No, Eve. I’m not dragging you further into this. I need to take care of it. Just me. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I am so tired of that bullshit. I’m not a child. I can handle myself.” Eve says, crossing her arms over her chest, in a very childlike way. “I don’t want to hear it, Villanelle. I’m serious.” Eve cuts off whatever Villanelle was going to say, Villanelle’s mouth left open.
“And I don’t want anything to happen to you, either. I think it’s best if we stay together and deal with it, whatever who or what it might be, together.” Eve says, reaching for Villanelle’s hand to grip it.
Villanelle squeezes it back and gives in. “Fine. You are very annoying, Eve.”
They sit in silence briefly, looking at one another.
“Okay, I can’t stop looking at you in my turtleneck and seeing myself, so we need to get you something else to wear.” Eve says, running her fingers around the inside of the now stretched neck of the turtleneck Villanelle is wearing.
Villanelle reaches to graze the neck of Eve’s embarrassingly similar turtleneck that she has on. “We look like twins.” Villanelle says, grinning. “How many of the same turtleneck do you have, Eve? These are identical.”
Eve shoots her a look. “I say we go shopping, get some food, and then we need to come back here, plan what we’re doing tomorrow about this situation, and then get some rest.”
Villanelle loves how Eve has a checklist of things they need to do in her mind. Usually, Villanelle likes to wing it, but she’s thankful that Eve is the opposite. Especially in this situation.
“I have very little cash left, so we need to go cheap on the clothes.” Villanelle says, struggling to say the word cheap without feeling nauseous.
And it’s as if Eve and her share a mind.
“You struggled with that, didn’t you?”
“Eve, this is what a normal human being wears, okay?” Villanelle says, waving her hands down herself.
Villanelle is now dressed in a pair of boots, joggers, a black shirt and a bomber jacket pulled over it. Her hair is pulled up in a loose bun. Villanelle notices the way Eve looks at her and smiles. She hates that Villanelle knows how attractive she is and how attracted to her Eve is.
”You are so full of yourself.” Eve says, rolling her eyes. “Leave me alone and let me get dressed.”
“What did you pick out?” Villanelle says, following Eve on her heels to her dressing room. “Are you going to model it for me?”
“Absolutely not.” Eve says, pulling the dressing room door shut on Villanelle.
“You are no fun.” Villanelle huffs behind the door.
Eve pulls on a white shirt, a pair of jeans, boots, a green jacket, and exits the dressing room, finding Villanelle waiting for her, leaned up against a mirror. Villanelle had insisted on getting Eve a few outfits as well.
Villanelle turns to look Eve up and down.
“You like it?” Eve asks, feeling shy all of a sudden.
“Oh yes.” Villanelle says with a big smile as she saunters over to where Eve stands. This is enough of an approval for Eve.
As they walk to find food, Villanelle window shops, and points things out to Eve. She seems so normal, walking with her hands shoved in her jacket pockets, stumbling on the curb she didn’t see because she was staring at Eve.
When they eat, Villanelle talks with enthusiasm. Her facial expressions are dramatic, her mouth twitches into a smile when Eve speaks, and her eyes get teary-eyed when she laughs.
Eve had never taken the time, nor had the time really, to notice these kinds of nuances in Villanelle.
Villanelle focuses on Eve the entire meal. Villanelle asks about Eve’s childhood, why she chose the job she chose, her first kiss, her favorite foods, movies, and music. And while Eve speaks, Villanelle looks genuinely interested. Villanelle has never been one to ask about others and their lives. So when she does, Eve is surprised every time.
And when they walk back to their hotel, Villanelle reaches for Eve and intertwines Eve’s fingers with hers.
“Is this okay?” Villanelle asks, as if she’s asking for permission.
“Yes.” Eve says, shivering again from any contact they make.
“We’re holding hands.” Villanelle says with a sweet grin, as if she can’t believe it herself.
“Are you twelve?” Eve asks, laughing.
“I feel like it, with you.” Villanelle says shrugging.
Eve squeezes Villanelle’s hand and smiles. “Me too.”
Villanelle insists that she run a quick errand without Eve, so she drops Eve off at the hotel. Eve protests this but drops it when Villanelle says to trust her. Eve does trust her. She always trusted her to some extent. Even when they had a knife or gun on each other.
When Villanelle gets back, she returns with a rucksack swung over her shoulder, and what looks like food in her other hand.
“What’s in the bag?” Eve says.
“Food for us.” Villanelle says with a huge smile.
“The other bag, Villanelle.”
“Oh. Some essentials. Come see.” Villanelle says, waving her over.
Villanelle sets down dinner and pours the rucksack contents on the bed. Cell phones, guns, money, passports.
“Jesus. Where did you get this?” Eve asks.
“I have a guy.” Villanelle says shrugging.
“A guy that The Twelve knows about?”
“No, I am smarter than that, Eve.” Villanelle says tapping the side of her head. “I have someone just in case I need a way out.”
“Did you know something like this would happen?” Eve asks. She’s always wondered if Villanelle would ever want to stop. Or if she even could.
“I set it up shortly before Rome. Just in case. For us, really.” Villanelle says, sounding a little defeated.
“Yeah. I have stuff for you too in here.” Villanelle says, tossing Eve a passport. “I went about it the wrong way, obviously. I know that now. But I did have a plan for us after Rome.”
“And what was your plan for us after Rome?” Eve asks flipping through her passport.
“Run away together. Not get killed. Lots of good food, lots of sex. Watch movies together, normal stuff.” Villanelle says, a small grin creeping on her face as if she’s reminiscing.
“Do you think you were capable of normal then?” Eve asks. She can’t picture that future with that Villanelle. Eve would’ve been miserable with that Villanelle. She would’ve been obsessive, which in all honesty, she still is with Villanelle, but on a different level. She would've been in danger. I still am, Eve thinks.
“No.” Villanelle says quickly. “Good food and lots of sex, I can see. But I would’ve gotten us killed eventually."
“I don’t understand why you would ever think I would want to go with you then.” Eve says, dropping her passport to look at Villanelle now.
“I thought you loved me.” Villanelle says shrugging. “I thought I loved you.”
Villanelle starts to place the items on the bed back in the rucksack as Eve stands in silence, watching her. Villanelle takes the rucksack and walks over to the couch to place it down, and Eve follows. Villanelle sits on the couch, leans over and lays her head in her hands. Eve kneels in front of her, places her hands on Villanelle’s knees, and they stay Iike that, silent.
Eve didn’t love Villanelle, she didn’t think. Definitely not in Rome. She didn’t know how she felt about Villanelle in Rome. Eve hadn’t been able to eat or sleep. Her thoughts consumed by her. She missed her presence when she wasn’t by her side. She missed her voice when it wasn’t annoyingly in her ear. When she was alone, she would hear Villanelle’s voice in the silence, waking her from whatever trance she was in. After Rome, hatred and loss consumed Eve. She hated Villanelle. Mostly, she hated that Villanelle could do that to her. Eve also felt the loss of her, Villanelle not being in her life anymore.
When Villanelle looks up from her hands at Eve, Eve is crying. She can’t stop the tears from stinging her face.
“I would never do it. Never again, Eve.” Villanelle says as if she’s reading Eve’s mind, brushing a tear away from Eve’s cheek.
“Promise me, Villanelle. Whatever happens between us, we don’t hurt each other like that again.”
“I promise you. And you promise not to stab me?” Villanelle says, smirking, placing her hands on top of Eve’s.
“If you aren’t a dick, I promise.” Eve says, chuckling.
“Oh, Eve, you know being a dick is in my nature.”
“God, don’t I know it.” Eve laughs.
“You like it though sometimes. I can see it. You get this little twinkle in your eye.” Villanelle says, smirking and annoyingly right.
“Again, full of yourself.” Eve says, standing and turning to walk away.
Villanelle snatches her hand and pulls her back to her. And when Eve turns around, Villanelle is standing in front of her, her arms wrapping around Eve as she’s pulled into Villanelle’s chest. As they stand there, Eve feels warm and safe, wrapped tightly to Villanelle, as they breathe in sync. She feels Villanelle burrow her face into her hair and inhale.
“Can I kiss you, Eve?” Villanelle says softly into her hair.
“You don’t have to ask for permission.”
“I feel like I need to.” Villanelle chuckles.
“From now on, you don’t.”
“Mhmm, I like the sound of that.” Villanelle says, as she moves her mouth to Eve’s ear.
”God, Villanelle, how do you do that?” Eve says shakily, as Villanelle kisses down her jaw.
“Do what, Eve?” Villanelle says between kisses.
“Make me feel like I’m going to collapse every time we touch.”
Eve feels something behind her knees suddenly and realizes it’s the bed. Villanelle had been backing them into the room.
“Oh, you are smooth.” Eve chuckles.
“I know.” Villanelle says with a smirk and then presses her lips to Eve's.
“I thought you wanted to take it slow.” Eve says.
“I do. I just thought we could make out before dinner. And then after dinner. And then before bed.”
“And then again in the morning?” Eve says laughing.
“You’re reading my mind again, Eve.”
As they eat dinner, Eve asks Villanelle about her trip to Russia more in detail. Villanelle feels a little uncomfortable with the topic, but surprisingly, willing to talk through it with Eve.
“I have two brothers.” Villanelle says, mouth full. “Both very annoying.”
“Runs in the family, then?” Eve says.
Villanelle chucks a fry at Eve that smacks her right in the chest.
“I’m annoying but in a cute way. They are not.” Villanelle snaps playfully at her.
“You call whatever this is, cute?” Eve says, waving a fry up and down her, and then chucking into Villanelle’s chest.
“Okay. You are very cute.” Eve says, smiling and popping another fry in her mouth.
“Ooooooo, and what else, Eve?” Villanelle says grinning, leaning to put her chin on her hands.
“That’s all I’m giving you.”
“I’ll tell you about yourself then.” Villanelle says, rises and makes her way towards Eve, hands shoved in her pockets to keep them still. Villanelle leans down to rest her chin on Eve’s shoulder and moves her mouth near Eve’s ear.
“You are incredibly smart, amazingly sexy, and one of the strongest people I know.” Villanelle whispers. “See. Not that hard.”
Villanelle feels Eve shudder and regain composure all at once.
“Fineeee.” Eve says, slightly turning towards Villanelle’s face.
“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. You know that already." Eve says. "You also make me laugh."
After a pause, Eve says something that pulls at Villanelle's chest. "And you are incredibly and shockingly kind.”
Villanelle has been called many things. Monster, asshole, dick, bitch, piece of shit, psychopath, killer. She remembers being called dyke many times. Those names didn't seem to phase her like this did.
“I don’t think anyone has called me kind before.” Villanelle says and pulls Eve’s lips to hers.
“You’re also not a bad kisser.” Eve says after a minute, when they break apart.
“I have been told that.” Villanelle says grinning.
Chapter 14: Close your eyes
*note for this chapter - the character of Villanelle in this fic doesn’t sleep with men. Someone had commented on this chapter regarding that.*
When Villanelle thinks about the future, she thinks of death. It's like a black hole. Sucking her in, making her heart pound. It’s something she can’t wrap her head around, but she knows that when she thinks of it, she doesn’t think of herself. She thinks of Eve.
She thinks of The Twelve finally catching up to her. Eve being with her and being torn away from her. Eve being tortured to torture Villanelle. Eve being shot in front of Villanelle.
As Villanelle lays with Eve breathing softly on her shoulder, she realizes she’s been gripping Eve too tight. But Eve, whether she feels it or not, doesn’t pull away. She doesn’t wake. She burrows deeper into Villanelle’s shoulder, as if she wants to be held even tighter.
As Villanelle lays silent in thought, trying to let Eve rest, she hears a sleepy voice near her ear.
“You are so loud.”
“What?” Villanelle quietly chuckles.
“You feel so loud, and it’s waking me up.” Eve says, slinging an arm around Villanelle’s waist and yawning. “What are you thinking about?”
Villanelle stares at the ceiling and forces her thoughts to subside for now.
“You.” Villanelle says. It’s better if those other thoughts remain to Villanelle, for her to sort out and make peace with.
“Mhmm. Enough to keep you awake?” Eve asks.
“Always enough to keep me awake.” Villanelle huffs sarcastically.
As they lay together, Eve tight in her arms, Eve runs her hand underneath Villanelle’s shirt and begins tracing the scar on her belly lightly with her fingertips.
“Really getting your fill with that rule I made, mhmm?” Villanelle laughs. She’s not complaining though. She’s always wanted Eve’s hands there.
“It’s a new day. I can feel somewhere else.” Eve says quietly, placing her hand over the scar.
“If you want.” Villanelle says, shrugging casually. This makes Villanelle uncharacteristically nervous though. “You are very impatient, Eve.”
“Mhmm. You like it though. You get a little twinkle in your eye.” Eve says, repeating Villlanelle’s own words from earlier back to her.
“I do.” Villanelle says, knowing Eve is right. Her eyes always show too much.
“So, what will help you sleep then?” Eve asks, running her fingers over Villanelle’s scar.
“I feel like you’re asking that question, knowing what the answer will be, Eve.” Villanelle chuckles nervously.
“From what I’ve read in your file...” Eve starts off.
“What?” Villanelle asks, cutting her off, shocked.
”I’m teasing.” Even says lightly.
“Oh. Jesus, Eve.” Villanelle laughs.
Without another word, Eve’s hand moves to tug at the drawstrings of Villanelle’s sweatpants.
“You don’t have to.” Villanelle whispers, turning her head to face Eve.
“Close your eyes.” Eve says, as she presses her lips to Villanelle's.
As soon as Villanelle closes her eyes, Eve slowly dips her hand under Villanelle’s sweatpants to rest it in between her thighs. Villanelle gasps at the touch and snaps her eyes open.
“No underwear to bed?” Eve asks, her hand trembling.
Villanelle hasn’t been touched by anyone besides herself since Anna. She hadn’t wanted anyone to touch her. She hadn’t trusted anyone to touch her.
“Close your eyes, Villanelle.” Eve says against her lips.
As Villanelle does, Eve’s fingers find her, causing Villanelle to jolt from the touch.
“Sorry.” Villanelle says, embarrassed by how sensitive she is to Eve’s fingers.
“It’s okay. Relax, Villanelle.” Eve says sweetly, pressing her lips to Villanelle’s again.
As Eve kisses her slowly, her fingers go just as slow. Teasing Villanelle, each swipe drawing whimpers out of Villanelle’s throat.
Villanelle has only dreamed of this, and after Rome, she solidified that it would only be a dream. Forever. Just a dream. Never reality. Now Eve had her. Eve’s tongue on hers, fingers gently spreading warmth around her. Villanelle was hers.
Eve’s touch was gentle and slow, which Villanelle wasn’t used to. Anna could be gentle, but she wanted to be quick. They would usually work around clothes. Anna had a husband. A husband that would come home in the middle of the day, unannounced. Villanelle loved the thrill of it. When Anna’s husband would walk in, Villanelle, then called Oksana, would feel electric knowing that she had just had her fingers in his wife just seconds before. After a while, he knew. His face showed knowing when he would come home. It was Oksana’s fault. Her eyes gave it away. The way she looked at him and the way she looked at Anna gave it all away.
The way Eve used to look at her showed knowing as well. It started as stolen glances between them. Eve could see it in Villanelle’s eyes. No matter what bullshit Villanelle would be spewing from her mouth. Eve looked at her and Villanelle knew she saw it. She saw the wanting. Because her eyes gave away too much.
Villanelle’s hips involuntarily twitch from each touch now, beads of sweat starting to build on her forehead, Eve’s kiss getting deeper and her fingers quickening around Villanelle.
When Villanelle reaches that point, embarrassingly too quick, she tells Eve to slow down.
Eve slows to a stop and then whispers to her.
Eve gently bites Villanelle’s bottom lip, continues with her fingers, and sends Villanelle over the edge.
And when she goes over that edge, Villanelle keeps her eyes shut, feeling everything. Feeling Eve’s lips on hers, Eve’s touch, her own breath hitching in her throat, her pulse bounding in her head, her warmth spilling over Eve’s fingers.
Eve slowly helps her come down, with gentle strokes of her fingers, kissing her softly, whimpering along with Villanelle.
And when Villanelle finally opens her eyes, her head is on Eve’s shoulder, and she finds Eve’s grip around her too tight, but Villanelle burrows into her even further, wanting to be held tighter.
When Villanelle wakes in the morning, Eve has her against her chest, still pulled in tight.
Villanelle gently grasps the front of Eve’s shirt and inhales it deeply, savoring the moment, the smell of Eve, the feeling of Eve’s arms around her. She hasn’t felt safe since she was a child. Here, in Eve’s arms, she does.
“How do I smell?” Eve says sleepily.
Eve leans her head down to inhale the top of Villanelle’s head. “So do you.”
Villanelle remembers very little about her father, but she does remember how safe she felt in his arms. She remembers him smelling like a mixture of tobacco, whiskey, and the outdoors. Safe.
Konstantin smelled like her father. Maybe that’s why she took to him so quickly. Maybe that’s why she viewed him as family at one time. Safe.
Villanelle isn’t sure exactly what she’s feeling. She’s never been the best at processing emotion. I feel things when I’m with you. She does. She feels new things with Eve. Things she can’t place or find a word for yet. But she knows how safe feels. She knows how that word feels. And she feels it now, with Eve pulling her tight to her.
“You make me feel safe, Eve.” She pulls away from Eve’s shoulder to look at her. “Everything about you. Your smell, the taste of your lips, your voice.”
Eve blinks at her slowly, a smile on her lips, but stays silent. Villanelle starts to feel embarrassed by what she’s feeling.
“No. Don’t be sorry. I just never thought I’d hear you talk like this. I never thought that could be in you.” Eve says, placing her hand on Villanelle’s chest.
“Different suits you, then?” Villanelle says grinning.
“Yes. Very much.” Eve says, moving her hand under Villanelle’s shirt to find her scar.
“Mhmm. I think we should make out to say good morning.” Villanelle says, pressing her body to Eve’s, playfully growling against Eve’s lips.
“Glad to see that hasn’t changed.” Eve says, pressing her lips to Villanelle’s.
As Eve showers for the day, she glances at her ring in the soap dish. She had forgotten she left it there. She had forgotten it wasn’t on her finger. She felt the loss of it a few days ago, but now, her hand feels lighter. And when Eve exits the bathroom, she leaves without it. It stays here, she thinks. Just like the past needs to.
Villanelle is dressed and has their stuff packed up, messily.
“What is going on with this?” Eve says, waving her hand towards the clothes shoved into her duffel bag and the suitcase Villanelle bought the other day.
“What?” Villanelle says, mouth full as she eats a banana.
“You would think that, with all of the traveling you’ve done, you would learn how to pack efficiently.”
Villanelle shrugs. “I just kind of shove things in.”
“What did you do with our old cell phones, by the way?” Eve asks. Thinking of the ring she left behind. Thinking of the memories she has stored away. She wants to always remember them fondly, but from a distance, never revisiting them.
“Gone. I’m sure you have everything saved in “the cloud”.” Villanelle says, using finger quotations.
“It’s fine. I just wanted to make sure they weren’t left behind.”
Eve is relieved. It would be tempting to hold onto that. She had fond memories of her past. Fond memories of Niko and their marriage before the last year or so. But she feels oddly prepared to move forward. Not backward. She’s tired of moving backward. This past year has been a lot of backward.
She looks at Villanelle, mouth so full of banana that she's having trouble chewing. Villanelle is trying to re-pack for Eve, less messily.
I want to move forward with her.
Villanelle has a ride for them set up. She wants to stay off of planes and trains. She says she has ‘a guy’.
“Who are these ‘guys’ you keep referring to?” Eve asks as they wait for their ride.
“Just people I’ve met while away on jobs. Met them in passing really.” Villanelle says shrugging.
“And you trust them?”
“Somewhat. That’s why I have this.” Villanelle says, patting the gun her jacket pocket, smiling.
“Oh. Good.” Eve says sarcastically.
“Don’t be jealous, Eve. I have one for you too if you want.”
A black suburban rolls up and the driver rolls down the passenger window.
“Miss Ivanov?” The driver asks, a cigarette hanging from his mouth.
“Yes. And this is my wife, Natalia.” Villanelle says, pinching Eve's arm, opening the door to let Eve slip in first. Villanelle throws their luggage in the trunk and slips in beside her.
The suburban is huge, so Villanelle and Eve have the third row of seats to themselves. Villanelle gives the driver an address.
“Where are we going?”
”I need to stop in Paris.” Villanelle says, mouth full of an apple they grabbed on the way out of the hotel.
“Do you ever stop eating?” Eve asks. She shouldn’t be shocked by how much Villanelle eats. She’s always eating something.
“I’m hungry.” Villanelle says, mouth full. “I didn’t have much of an appetite until recently, so don’t judge.”
”And why Paris?”
”I left some things behind in my old flat. I planned on grabbing them last time I was there but someone had different plans for me.” Villanelle says, grinning and winking at Eve.
“Sorry.” Eve says sheepishly. “What did you leave behind?”
“Money, guns, a few personal items.” Villanelle says, taking another bite of her apple.
“You’ve been gone for a while. Surely someone lives there.”
“Oh, someone lives there. I’ve hidden those things though. They haven’t found them. No one has.” Villanelle says casually while chewing.
“No, Villanelle. I mean, with someone living there, you won’t be able to get in.”
“Mhmm. Not easily.” Villanelle corrects her, smiling slyly.
“Oh, god.” Eve says, rolling her eyes.
“What? You know I’m good at what I do. It will be quick.” Villanelle says, rolling down the window and tossing her apple core.
“Oh my god. That’s littering.”
“Not if it’s biodegradable.” Villanelle shrugs.
“How long is the drive?”
“Around six hours, ma’am.” The driver pipes in.
“A six-hour drive with you, whatever will we talk about?” Villanelle says, leaning in to kiss Eve’s neck.
“Villanelle, there’s literally someone right there.” Eve says, smacking Villanelle’s shoulder.
“And? Does that bother you?”
“Yes! Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Not at all.” Villanelle says against her neck. “He can’t see.”
“Yes, but he can hear.” Eve says nodding towards the driver.
“Barely. But, that means you’ll have to be quiet, yes?” Villanelle says and Eve can feel her grinning.
“What has come over you?” Eve laughs.
“I’m flirting with you. Have you never done something like that? In public?” Villanelle asks, pulling away to look at her, eyebrow raised.
“What? Flirting?” Eve asks, knowing that isn’t what Villanelle is talking about.
Villanelle glares at her.
“Yes. I have.” Eve says firmly.
“Okay, when?” Villanelle asks, crossing her arms over her chest, smiling.
“Villanelle, I’m not going back and forth with you.” Eve says, waving a hand dismissively at her.
“You will because you love it. So, when and with who? And describe it! Don’t tell me basic facts. That’s no fun.”
“Jesus. Okay, it was with Niko. We had plenty of sex in public.”
Eve has flashes of those moments and feels fond of them. But not excited by them. Whenever it did happen, it was quick, to the point, somewhat exciting at the time, but then it was never talked about again. Niko and her wouldn’t revisit or talk about it. Eve thinks of the last time Niko and her almost had sex in public. Niko’s school party, in his classroom. The only thing that drove her thoughts at that time was Villanelle. And she thought of Villanelle as she kissed Niko that night. The only reason she wanted Niko inside of her that night was because of the thoughts that overwhelmed her - Villanelle’s voice, her face, the way she moved, the way she smelled when they lay in bed together in Paris.
“I said details, Eve.” Villanelle says, cutting off Eve’s train of thought.
“Really? You want to hear the details of my sex life with Niko?” Eve laughs.
“Sure. I’ll tell you about my sex life previous to you.” Villanelle says.
“You are insufferable.” Eve huffs. “You are like a horny teenager today.”
“What do you expect?” Villanelle grins.
Eve can’t believe this is coming out of her mouth, but it does and it comes out too loudly.
“How was last night for you?”
“Shhh. Eve. There’s literally someone right there.” Villanelle says, faking shock.
“You’re an asshole.”
Villanelle pulls Eve’s face to hers.
“Last night was amazing. It was everything.”
Eve’s lips tremble when Villanelle says this.
And her lips are on Villanelle’s then, fiercely, pulling at Villanelle’s jacket to get closer. Never feeling like she's close enough.
“Oh my.” Villanelle breathes against her lips, when they pull apart.
“I still haven’t gotten used to kissing you.” Eve says laughing.
“That bad?” Villanelle says with a smile.
“You know it’s not. Just, different than I expected.” Eve thought it would be driven by lust when they finally consensually kissed. Lust isn't the only thing that is driving Eve now.
“I know.” Villanelle says, staring at Eve intently.
“How does it feel to you? Kissing me?”
“Like I can’t wait for the next one. I’ve never kissed someone and felt it in my chest like I do with you.” Villanelle says sweetly.
“You feel it here?” Eve says, placing her hand on Villanelle’s chest, over her heart, feeling it race beneath her fingertips.
Villanelle audibly swallows when Eve does this. “Yes.”
“I think you like me.” Eve says playfully, poking Villanelle in the chest now.
Villanelle laughs softly and then places her hand on Eve’s chest, over her heart.
“And do you feel it there too, Eve?” Villanelle asks quietly.
Eve does. She feels their kiss everywhere.
Villanelle grins. “I think you like me, Eve.”
Eve rolls her eyes. “Took me long enough.”
A few hours into their drive, Villanelle stares out the window with Eve resting on her shoulder. Eve breathes slow, steady, and deep. Her hair falls over Villanelle’s shoulder and Villanelle busies herself twirling a piece of it around her finger.
Oh, this hair, Villanelle thinks. How I used to die to run my hands through it, to smell it, to feel it tickle my chin.
Wear it down. Villanelle thinks of the first time she saw Eve. Even then, knowing nothing about Eve, knowing very little about herself even, she was drawn and pulled towards her. Her eyes couldn’t break away from Eve in that bathroom. She had to force herself to make her exit. She had a job to do. But even then, as Villanelle exited the building after another job successfully, yet messily, completed, she could only think about that hair. Wear it down.
“Jesus, Villanelle, you are loud.” Eve says, shifting in her seat as she wakes.
“Sorry.” Villanelle whispers. A strand of Eve’s hair still wrapped around Villanelle's finger.
“Thinking about me again?” Eve says playfully.
“Always.” Villanelle says.
“You and my hair. What is it about my hair?” Eve says.
“It’s sexy.” Villanelle says, shrugging.
“It’s a mess.”
“A sexy mess.” Villanelle says playfully, now running her fingers through it. “What did you feel when you saw me for the first time? In the bathroom at the hospital?”
Villanelle expects the worst out of this answer and is prepared for it. Eve is silent for a minute before she speaks.
“So many things.” Eve says quietly and those words bring Villanelle back to the bridge, before they knew anything, before they could sit and talk like this.
“I thought you looked distant, even though I could reach out and touch you. But the way you looked at me made me feel so present. You were beautiful. Your eyes were bright, they were soft but sharp, empty but seeing everything.”
Villanelle is silent for a minute, taking this unexpected answer in and consuming every word.
Eve pulls herself from Villanelle’s shoulder to look at her.
“That wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“Mhmm. And what did you think when you saw me?” Eve asks, stretching her arms out and softly yawning.
“I thought that you were hot.”
Eve slaps Villanelle in the arm. Villanelle feigns shock and hurt, grabbing her arm where Eve slapped her.
“Be serious, dick.” Eve snaps.
Villanelle laughs. “I’m sorry. It’s too easy.”
Eve starts to put her hair up when Villanelle gently grabs her wrist.
“Wear it down.”
She sees Eve visibly shudder from those words and knows immediately that that moment meant the same to her as it did to Villanelle.
“I felt immediately drawn to you. Like there was something pulling me to you. Like there was a rope around me and you had me contained for a moment.”
“Contained, huh?” Eve says, moving her hand to intertwine her fingers with Villanelle’s.
Villanelle laughs. “I said for a moment. Briefly.”
“And do you still feel like I have you contained?” Eve asks slyly, playing with Villanelle’s fingers.
“Are you flirting with me, Eve?”
“Maybe. Is it working?” Eve says, grinning.
“Not at all.” Villanelle says, lying her head on Eve’s shoulder now.
As soon as she starts to drift off, Eve breaks their silence.
“Why haven’t you tried to touch me?”
Villanelle snaps her head up to look at Eve.
“Why haven’t you tried?” Eve repeats it quietly.
“I have touched you. Pretty successfully.”
“I meant any further.”
“I want to take it slow with you.” Villanelle says. “I told you this.”
“Why though? What’s the reasoning behind it?”
Villanelle knows the reason behind it. And there are reasons, plural. She doesn’t want to hurt Eve. She doesn’t want to get hurt. She doesn’t want to push Eve away. She doesn’t want Eve to realize that Villanelle is still just as broken as she was when Eve hated her. When Eve was disgusted with her. Villanelle never wants to see Eve look at her like she used to look at her again.
“Eve, there’s a lot of reasons. I’ve wanted this for a while, and I want it to go well. As well as it can.”
“I get that. I want the same. But it’s going fairly well, don’t you think?” Eve asks, cupping Villanelle’s cheek. A familiar touch.
“If you think about it, we’ve practically been dating for a while now.” Eve says.
“You call that dating?” Villanelle laughs.
Eve leans into Villanelle and intertwines their fingers again, and whispers.
“I want all of you, Villanelle.”
Villanelle’s breath hitches in her throat. Eve hears it and continues.
“I want to know everything, I want to hear everything, feel everything, taste everything. With you.”
Villanelle stays silent as Eve plays with her fingers, weaving in and out of hers, leaving trails of electricity along their path.
Eve is hers. You are mine. It rings in her head. It disgusts Villanelle when she thinks about it now. The way she said it to Eve, the feelings that came along with her saying it. Possession. Take what you want. It feels different when she thinks it now. Eve is mine. It feels wanted. Not like possession or taking. Like giving and accepting. She remembers how Eve looked at her and backed away from her instinctively when she said it then. Now Eve is pressed into her, their fingers wrapped together, tied together.
Villanelle pulls Eve’s lips to hers and tastes everything Eve has to give her. She accepts everything Eve is willing to give. And Eve feels willing to give her everything. Her mouth gentle against hers. Eve's lips parting to let Villanelle's tongue touch hers softly.
“I am yours.” Villanelle says against Eve’s lips. Not demanding. Not taking. But offering. Giving herself in return. Everything she has to give. All of it.
Leave comments :) they keep me going. Let me know what you think!
Chapter 16: Let's make that last then
When they arrive in Paris, Villanelle books them a hotel room.
On the elevator ride up to the room, they are both giddy. Whispering in each other’s ears, pulling at each other, softly meeting lips over and over.
”Ehmmmm.” Someone clears their throat.
They had both totally forgotten they weren’t alone. The elevator is full of other people as both of them stare wide-eyed, still pressed together, at the others watching them.
“Sorry.” Eve says. Usually, she would feel embarrassed by this kind of public display of affection and the attention it brings. But she feels no embarrassment now.
Niko would hold her hand, which was fine. That didn't bother Eve. But any kind of kissing around others bothered her. It made her feel uncomfortable. With Villanelle, she wanted others around her to know. She wanted others to see.
“Just married.” Villanelle says in English but in a dramatic French accent, winking at the other passengers.
Villanelle grabs Eve’s hand and their luggage to pull them off of the elevator when it reaches their floor.
“I’ve got to say, I’ve always been impressed with the number of languages you can speak. And your accents.” Eve says as Villanelle opens their room door for her.
“Oh vraiment?” Villanelle says behind her as the door closes. “And which one is your favorite?” This time, in her own voice.
Eve’s favorite is Villanelle’s own accent. It makes her reminisce. It makes her ache. She misses it when it’s not in her ears.
“Mhmmm. I don’t know. I’ll have to hear them all to make that decision.” Eve says as Villanelle tosses their luggage on the bed.
“Okay. You just heard my French. How about, questo?” Villanelle says, as she sits on the edge of the bed to face Eve.
“I’m not great with languages, so bear with me. Italian?”
Villanelle nods. “Very good, Eve. Este hace algo por ti?”
“Spanish. But what did you say?” Eve asks.
“Does this one do something for you?” Villanelle grins.
“Not really.” Eve says as she starts to walk towards a frowning Villanelle.
“Mhmm. я думаю, что вы предпочитаете этот.” Villanelle says as Eve stops in front of her.
“That’s the one. What did you say?” Eve knows this one, even though the language isn’t one she understands, just by the way it makes her shudder.
“I think you prefer this one.” Villanelle says as she looks up to Eve’s face. Eve knows that Villanelle doesn’t like to speak Russian. The fact that she did because she knows Eve likes it pulls at her chest.
“I do.” Eve says as she sits on the edge of the bed next to Villanelle.
“I’m nervous.” Villanelle says in her own voice, staring ahead of her, not meeting Eve’s eyes.
Eve knows what Villanelle is referring to and doesn’t need to ask.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” Villanelle says, intertwining her fingers with Eve’s closest hand. “Are you nervous, Eve?”
Villanelle meets Eve’s gaze now. Her eyes bright green, searching Eve's for answers, searching Eve's for comfort and reassurance. Always searching for something.
“Yes.” Eve says honestly.
She is nervous. Especially when it comes to this Villanelle. Actually getting to know a person that she thought she knew inside and out has been enlightening, frightening, unnerving, and destabilizing. The Villanelle she knew, she could predict. She felt prepared to deal with that Villanelle. That Villanelle should’ve made her nervous. But this Villanelle makes her nervous.
“There’s a lot to unpack.” Villanelle says softly.
“We can unpack later. Don’t worry about it.”
“I meant, mentally and emotionally, Eve.” Villanelle chuckles.
“Oh.” Eve laughs. “We can do that together then.” Eve says, squeezing Villanelle’s hand.
Villanelle releases Eve’s hand and gently pulls her face to hers.
”Together then.” Villanelle whispers against her lips.
Villanelle pulls Eve in to kiss her slowly and softly.
Eve can’t get over how gentle Villanelle is with her, tucking strands of Eve’s hair behind her ear, brushing her thumb across Eve’s cheek, humming when Eve’s tongue touches the tip of hers.
As Villanelle deepens the kiss, she removes Eve’s jacket slowly, tossing it to the floor in front of them, her hands drifting down to find the hem of Eve’s shirt.
“Can I?” Villanelle asks as she pulls away briefly from their kiss.
“I told you, you don’t have to ask for permission.” Eve says.
“I feel like I need to with this.”
“You can.” Eve says shakily.
Villanelle pulls Eve’s shirt up slowly, over her head and tosses it to the floor.
Villanelle presses her lips to Eve’s again and Eve feels Villanelle smile against her lips.
Villanelle moves her lips to Eve’s neck and unclasps her bra at the same time, letting it fall over Eve’s shoulders. And when Villanelle’s hand gently grazes over Eve’s breast, Eve whimpers and feels Villanelle sigh into her neck. A sigh of relief. A sigh that sounds like letting go.
In one quick movement, Villanelle pulls Eve onto her lap.
"Oh wow." Eve mumbles.
Both of Villanelle’s hands explore Eve’s chest now, thumbs grazing over, palms kneading soft but firm, causing Eve to arch into Villanelle’s hands.
“You feel so good, Eve.” Villanelle purrs against Eve’s neck.
Villanelle grips Eve's hips to stand with Eve straddling her waist. Villanelle turns them both around and lowers them onto the bed, Eve’s back softly hitting the mattress.
Villanelle quickly pushes the luggage to the side of them off of the bed, causing a huge thud as it hits the floor.
“Whoops.” Villanelle says, both of them laughing against each other’s lips.
Eve closes her eyes, feeling everything. She feels Villanelle’s hand unbuttoning her jeans as her tongue moves over each breast, circling, flicking, pulling, teeth grazing. Eve wishes each touch would leave scars along their path. Marking her forever. Immortalizing this moment for the both of them.
Villanelle’s mouth is on hers again now, Eve barely being able to catch her breath as she feels Villanelle’s hand dip between her thighs to find her. And when Villanelle’s hand finds her, both of them moan into their kiss.
Eve is having trouble breathing already, her breaths coming fast and irregular as Villanelle’s fingers move up and down slowly as if she’s trying to memorize every inch of Eve.
“Too much?” Villanelle breathes against Eve’s lips.
But Eve can’t answer. Not enough, she thinks. Eve is gripping onto Villanelle’s shoulders as her fingers continue. Villanelle has barely touched her and she’s already having trouble holding on.
It’s as if Villanelle feels Eve losing herself already because her fingers are suddenly gone.
“Lift your hips.” Eve hears Villanelle say gently.
And she does.
Eve feels Villanelle remove the rest of her clothes and hears them hit the ground.
Villanelle hooks her arms under Eve’s thighs to slowly slide her forward. And when Eve feels Villanelle’s hands run like fire up her thighs, her lips soothing as they follow, Eve grips onto the sheets to steady herself. To ground herself to something.
“Open your eyes, Eve.” She hears Villanelle say against the inside of her thigh.
Eve hadn’t realized her eyes were closed. And when she opens her eyes and looks down, Villanelle is staring back at her. Her eyes bright green. Always searching Eve’s for something.
“Do I need permission?” Villanelle says, moving her lips to hover over where Eve aches for any part of Villanelle to be.
“Never.” Eve breathes.
She feels Villanelle’s breath on her. It’s coming fast but soft.
Eve holds her own breath as Villanelle’s tongue trails up the center of her. And Eve’s vision goes black and white. She feels on fire, Villanelle’s tongue like the ice that she needs to soothe the burn.
Eve pulls at Villanelle’s hair, pulling her further into her as she wills her eyes to stay open, to focus on Villanelle’s as her tongue flicks across her slowly.
Villanelle reaches a hand up and pries one of Eve’s hands out of her hair, intertwining their fingers as Villanelle pulls whimpers out of Eve’s throat with each trail her tongue leaves. Their joined fingers anchoring both of them to Earth.
Eve no longer feels the need to close her eyes. She finds them wide open, pulling the green of Villanelle’s eyes into her, and losing herself quickly after it began.
As Eve arches her back, careening over the edge, she feels Villanelle trace her entrance with her fingers.
Eve looks at her, hoping Villanelle sees the want and pleading in her eyes. The want and plead of the need to feel Villanelle deeper.
When Eve searches Villanelle’s eyes for that understanding, she finds that same want and plead in Villanelle’s.
Villanelle enters her slowly, tightening the grip of their joined fingers as she does. She moves slowly, Eve feeling every inch of her as she enters. Eve gasps as Villanelle pulls out, and moves back in gently. As if she’s tiptoeing, testing this new touch. And when Eve’s hips jump to this new touch, Villanelle enters with more friction, pulling an animalistic cry from Eve that she’s never heard herself make.
Eve suddenly feels Villanelle’s breath against her lips. As their lips meet, Eve tastes something new and exciting. A taste that she never knew she was missing. The taste of herself and Villanelle combined. And when their lips pull apart, Eve brings Villanelle’s face to her neck and whispers.
“And I am yours.”
Villanelle gasps into her neck when she says this and continues, both of their breathing getting ragged which each push and pull. Eve wraps her leg around Villanelle’s waist to feel Villanelle deeper. Eve can’t feel her deep enough. It’s never enough she thinks. She needs Villanelle now more than ever.
Eve has never felt like this with someone inside of her. She knew it would be different with Villanelle, but this is extraordinary. She’s feeling things in places she never realized existed until Villanelle’s touch found them and caused them to wake.
It consumes Eve and causes her to barely hold on to consciousness as pleasure ripples through every inch of her. And as Villanelle pushes and pulls whimpers from Eve’s throat, Eve feels her chest tighten and her breath escape her.
Villanelle’s lips are on hers now, breathing life back into her, whispering “look at me” as she continues to push Eve over the edge again, inch by inch.
And as soon as Eve meets those green eyes with hers, she loses herself, again and again.
When Eve wakes, she lays on Villanelle’s chest, both of them under the covers, safe and warm. Eve reaches out to softly trace a sleeping Villanelle’s lips. She feels her breath, soft and warm.
Villanelle stirs and playfully bites at Eve’s finger.
“Hi.” Villanelle says sleepily.
“Hi.” Eve says as she moves her hand to cup Villanelle’s cheek. "It is a crime that you are still dressed right now."
"Mhmm. The crime is that we didn't do this sooner, Eve." Villanelle laughs, placing her hand over Eve's.
"If I knew it would be like that, I would've acted on your persistent and annoying attempts at flirtation."
"I'll give you persistent. But, annoying? You loved it." Villanelle says, kissing Eve softly.
Eve still tastes herself on Villanelle's lips and trembles at the memory of last night.
Eve runs her tongue over Villanelle's bottom lip, to taste it even further.
Villanelle chuckles against her tongue. "Do you like that you can taste you on my lips?"
"I like that I can taste both of us on your lips."
When she says this, Villanelle's eyes go wide.
Villanelle quickly shifts on top of her, frantically pulling Eve's lips to hers, her hands gently spreading Eve's legs, whispering now against Eve's lips.
"Let's make that last then, mhmm?"
A few translations :)
Oh vraiment - Oh really
Questo - This one
Comments are appreciated as always
Hopefully this chapter read well!
Chapter 17: Survival of the fittest
I received a message from another reader. They were upset over the use of Villanelle's father in this fic.
This chapter also contains mentions of Villanelle's father.
The mentioning of her father only relates to Villanelle feeling safe.
No other meaning behind it.
Thank you :)
I received a message from another reader. They were upset over the use of Villanelle's father in this fic.
This chapter also contains mentions of Villanelle's father.
The mentioning of her father only relates to Villanelle feeling safe.
No other meaning behind it.
Thank you :)
Some translations -
засранка - asshole
кроха - tiny one
*Again, comments are needed. Let me know if you enjoy where this is going! :)
As the sun rises and beams of light pour in through the cracks of the hotel room curtains, Villanelle stirs and finds herself cold. Eve's body missing from her arms. She hears the shower running.
She lays on her side and runs a finger over where Eve lay when they finally fell asleep. Tracing where she remembers her body to be. Eve’s back against her chest, Villanelle’s arms wrapped around Eve’s waist, Villanelle’s face buried in Eve’s hair.
Eve woke Villanelle only once more during the night while they lay like this. She guided one of Villanelle’s hands to rest in between her thighs. Villanelle waking to the feeling of wet warmth at her fingertips.
“Again?” Villanelle chuckled into her hair, already instinctively moving her fingers to what she knows Eve wants.
“Again.” Eve whispered.
Villanelle’s fingers already miss Eve. Her mouth misses Eve. Villanelle misses her taste, her smell, her warmth. Her body aches for Eve, just feet away from her. Her chest is on fire, and breathing brings only temporary relief.
When Eve emerges from the bathroom, towel around her, her hair falling at her shoulders in wet curls, Villanelle launches herself from bed and pulls Eve into her lips, tasting her once more, satiating that empty feeling.
“Oh! Good morning.” Eve laughs into their kiss.
“I hate when you do that.”
“Do what?” Eve says, looking at her curiously.
“Remove yourself from my side.” Villanelle says smiling against Eve’s neck, inhaling, taking in Eve’s scent once more. Her lungs able to expand more easily.
“I almost pulled you into the shower with me, but you were sleeping. Snoring actually.”
“I forewarned you, Eve. You can’t bring it up.” Villanelle says, trailing her lips across Eve’s jaw.
“Oh, is that right?”
“Yes. It’s common courtesy, Eve.” Villanelle says, trying to unwrap Eve’s towel from around her body.
“I will remind you that you woke me up in the middle of the night for ‘again’.” Villanelle says playfully.
“Get in the shower, Villanelle. You are still wearing the clothes you wore yesterday.”
“не весело, Eve.” Villanelle huffs, lightly kissing Eve before making her way towards the bathroom.
“What does that mean, Villanelle?” Eve calls after her.
“You are no fun.” Villanelle says over her shoulder as she enters the bathroom.
When Villanelle emerges from the bathroom, Eve is dressed in a pair of jeans, and a white t-shirt underneath a black jacket. Her hair falls over her shoulders, curls that taunt Villanelle with every movement.
“I am so glad we have moved past the turtlenecks, Eve.” Villanelle says as she pads barefoot towards the suitcase to grab clothes.
“засранка .” Eve says and Villanelle stops in her tracks.
“Did you just call me an asshole, in Russian?”
“I googled it on my new phone while you were in the shower.” Eve says grinning.
“Is that the only word you’ve learned so far then?” Villanelle says, grinning back at Eve.
“It’s the only word I think I’ll need to know for now.” Eve says as she walks towards Villanelle.
“Is that your pet name for me, Eve?”
“Would you like it to be, Мудак?” Eve says playfully, wrapping her arms around Villanelle.
“I’ll take it for now, кроха.” Villanelle says, kissing Eve softly.
“Oh and is that my pet name? What does it mean?”
“Tiny one.” Villanelle says grinning.
Eve pulls back and slaps Villanelle’s bare shoulder.
“What!?” Villanelle says, feigning hurt. “You come up with a better one for me and I will for you.”
“I am not tiny.” Eve snaps at her playfully.
“Eve, stop. You are. I tossed you around with ease last night.”
Eve bites her lip when Villanelle says this and Villanelle’s heart starts to pound in her chest.
“Mhmm. You did. I’ll take ‘tiny one’ if it means you continue tossing me around like that.” Eve says, leaning up to softly kiss Villanelle’s racing pulse at her neck.
Just as Eve’s hands start to lightly run over Villanelle’s bare shoulders, Villanelle’s stomach growls embarrassingly loud.
Eve laughs into her neck as Villanelle places her hands over her tummy.
“Get dressed, засранка. Let’s get you some food.” Eve says, laying one more kiss to Villanelle’s neck, leaving Villanelle standing there, stomach growling, and a groan coming from her throat.
“Show me what you used to do in Paris. Before me.” Eve says, her arm wrapped around Villanelle’s waist as they walk the streets after lunch.
“That would be inappropriate, Eve.” Villanelle leans to whisper into Eve’s ear, her arm wrapped around Eve’s shoulder to pull her to her side.
"Oh god. Nevermind."
A day in Villanelle’s life in Paris, before ever knowing Eve existed, was pleasant, exciting, fun. Villanelle felt her young age and used it to her advantage often.
She had a woman every night. Sometimes the same woman if she hadn’t grown tired of them, but most of the time, a different woman.
It was too easy for Villanelle. There was no challenge to it. Even without the challenge, Villanelle enjoyed sex and everything that led up to it for the most part.
She enjoyed buying women drinks, food, clothes. She enjoyed making them blush, making them laugh, making them moan whatever name she chose to use that night, making them come, and making her exit or making them leave as soon as she had satiated whatever emptiness she felt at the time. She loved everything about it. But as soon as it was over, that emptiness crept inside again.
Eve was a challenge. From the moment Villanelle knew she existed. Villanelle felt that emptiness she sought to fill slowly become less so when she met Eve.
She thought it was the chase, the being chased, the thrill of it, that made her feel whole. But even then, there was still something missing. Killing wasn’t filling it, the chase and being chased wasn’t entirely doing it, sex wasn’t making her whole. Even food didn’t touch it. Usually that was her go-to.
But the way she looked at Eve and the way Eve looked at her crept inside, spreading, reaching, and pulling. It threatened to fill that hole. But Villanelle, at that time, wouldn’t let it. She wasn’t capable of it.
After Rome, that hole became vast. Threatening her like a sinkhole. Pulling her, whatever, and whoever surrounded her down into nothingness. Family made it no better. Killing had lost meaning and feeling. She was a black hole, a sinkhole, a destructive force, a bomb waiting to detonate.
Eve pinches Villanelle’s waist, snapping her out of her thoughts.
“Those days I don’t remember fondly anymore, Eve.”
“Oh. Okay.” Eve says, sounding defeated.
Villanelle's thoughts start to wander to the memory of one place though.
Her and Konstantin used to meet there every once in a while to discuss a previous or future job.
When she thinks of those memories, she feels that word again. Safe.
“I know a place.” Villanelle says softly, squeezing Eve closer to her side. “Come, кроха.”
“Konstantin and I used to meet here. Discuss jobs.” Villanelle says, mouth full of croissant.
“I didn’t catch the last part because your mouth was full. Again.” Eve says, grinning at Villanelle’s side profile as they sit on the bench across from the water.
“Discuss jobs.” Villanelle says clearly after making intense eye contact and swallowing dramatically loud.
“This is where you wanted to take me?” Eve asks incredulously.
Villanelle laughs and offers Eve a piece of her croissant. Eve waves it off politely.
“Unconventional, I know.” Villanelle says.
“Unique.” Eve says, correcting her and softly smiling. “What feelings does this place bring you, Villanelle?"
Eve knows Villanelle does things for a reason. Even if that reason is absolutely ridiculous and dramatic. But there is a more serious reason for this visit.
"I know it makes me feel safe. I think that's why I wanted to bring you here." Villanelle says, popping another piece of croissant in her mouth.
She chews slowly, her eyes meeting Eve's, searching for answers. Always searching.
Villanelle had told her a few days ago that Eve made her feel safe. And Eve wondered what that word felt like to Villanelle.
"And you felt safe with Konstantin?"
Villanelle purposefully swallows this time and clears her throat.
"I shouldn't have." Villanelle huffs. "We did a lot of unsafe things."
"And what does safe mean to you? What does it feel like?" Eve asks.
"I remember very little of my father. What I do remember carries the feeling of what I consider safe to be. It feels warm, relaxed." Villanelle says, ripping off another piece of croissant.
"You've never talked about your father before."
"There's not much to talk about. I remember only that." Villanelle says shrugging.
They sit and look out over the water. The last time they looked out over water, they had no idea what lie ahead of them. The same feeling lingers here, as they search its stillness.
Villanelle tosses the rest of the croissant behind them to land on the ground.
"Oh my god, Villanelle. What is it with this?" Eve says, waving towards the croissant.
"What? It's biodegradable." Villanelle says shrugging.
"Who is telling you these things?" Eve says, laughing.
"Watch." Villanelle says, gently maneuvering Eve's face with her fingertips to hold her gaze behind them.
What seems like hundreds of birds descend upon the rest of Villanelle's croissant.
Fighting for a piece, squawking loudly, feathers flying, clawing at one another with their talons, beaks clashing.
"Survival of the fittest, mhmm?" Villanelle says, grinning at Eve. "It's kind of beautiful."
Chapter 18: моя любовь
Soft as usual though :)
Translations at the end because one is a surprise :)
Let me know what you think! Comment away!
“You don’t have to wine and dine me to get me into bed, Villanelle.” Eve says as Villanelle pulls her seat out for her.
“I’m aware of that.” Villanelle chuckles, scooting Eve closer to the table.
“This is too fancy.” Eve whispers, leaning towards Villanelle as she takes the closest seat.
“Let me have this one, Eve. I’ve wanted to do this kind of stuff with you for a while.”
“Normal stuff?” Eve says with a smile.
Familiar words bring sweet memories. Granted, Eve had stabbed her five minutes later.
She feels her scar throb at the thought of it. Villanelle presses on it faintly to feel its throb deeper.
“Yes, Eve. Normal stuff. We still have to watch a movie together.” Villanelle says, snatching the drink list playfully from Eve’s hands.
“Do you have a checklist?”
Villanelle taps the side of her own head. “Up here.”
“So, this was your favorite place to eat?” Eve asks, glancing at the food menu in front of her.
Villanelle watches her in amusement. Eve is nervous. She can tell by the way Eve is knawing on her bottom lip, fidgeting in her seat. She’s glancing at the menu, which is in French, to busy herself.
“Favorite place to eat, drink, pick up women.” Villanelle says playfully, grinning.
The waiter approaches their table.
“Do you mind if I order your drink for you?” Villanelle asks Eve sweetly.
Villanelle gives the waiter an impressive drink order and hands him the drink menu before he departs.
“And did you usually liquor those women up then as well?”
Villanelle laughs. “Of course, Eve.”
Eve is glancing at the menu, a finger on her chin as if she’s concentrating.
“Do you need my help?” Villanelle asks, leaning in to look at the menu with Eve.
“Yes.” Eve whispers, barely audible.
“Breathe, Eve.” Villanelle says, placing her fingertips on Eve’s to gently remove the menu from Eve's death-like grip.
Eve meets Villanelle’s eyes and takes a deep, shaky breath.
“Why are you nervous?”
“I have no idea.” Eve says.
“Just relax. Let me “wine and dine you”.” Villanelle says playfully, repeating Eve's words from before.
“Maybe that’s why I’m nervous.” Eve says, running her hands through her hair. “I never thought we’d be doing this. I never thought you’d be taking me to dinner.”
“I thought you were paying?” Villanelle says, winking at Eve.
Eve glares at her, a smile playing at her lips.
“There’s going to be a lot of firsts between us, Eve. And I have a checklist that needs to be worked on, remember?” Villanelle says, tapping at the side of her head again.
Villanelle places the menu down and gently tips Eve’s chin up so that her lips meet Eve’s.
“Now, let me order for you, Eve. Stop pretending you know what the menu says.” Villanelle breathes against her lips.
“Fine. Anything with red meat.” Eve says, admitting defeat and tugging at Villanelle’s chair to try and scoot her even closer.
“Let me help.” Villanelle laughs, scooting her chair even closer.
As they walk back to the hotel, Villanelle seems unsteady on her feet.
“You’ve tripped at least twice now, Villanelle. I didn’t know you’d be such a lightweight, being Russian and all.” Eve says playfully, guiding a tipsy Villanelle by the arm.
“Being Russian and all.” Villanelle expertly mocking Eve’s words and voice. “I don’t drink much. If at all. And when I do, it’s to celebrate.”
“So that was celebratory drinking then? And what are we celebrating?”
“Me finally getting into your pants.” Villanelle says, leaning into Eve for balance.
Eve laughs. “You are quite the romantic.”
“Oooooooooh, ice cream!” Villanelle gasps as they walk towards a sweets shop.
“You are also a child.” Eve says as Villanelle grabs Eve’s hand to pull her into the shop.
When they get to the hotel room, Villanelle strips off her jacket, kicks her boots off dramatically, and throws herself on the hotel couch, hiccuping as she lands.
“I hate the hiccups.” Villanelle says with a frown.
Hiccups don't bring fond memories for Villanelle. These hiccups are different, but she still doesn't care for them or the memory its sound brings.
Villanelle peels her socks off and tosses them across the room, watching Eve make her way to the bed and sit on its edge.
“Come here.” Eve says, beckoning Villanelle with her finger.
Villanelle pads barefoot towards Eve, placing her hands in Eve’s that reach for her.
“You are so beautiful, Villanelle.” Eve says, playing with Villanelle’s fingers.
Villanelle has been called beautiful before. Never like this though. Never like someone is looking past the surface.
Eve moves her hands to Villanelle’s waist to pull her even closer, Eve’s face inches from her belly.
She moves Villanelle’s shirt up only slightly, pressing her lips into the scar she created. Running her mouth over it, humming into it, causing Villanelle’s breath to escape her in an audible rush.
“Take this off.” Eve says, tugging at Villanelle’s shirt.
Villanelle pulls her shirt over her head and lets it drop at her feet as Eve’s lips find the scar again.
As she moves her lips across Villanelle's scar, Eve drops her hands to work at unbuttoning Villanelle’s pants. Villanelle panics and places her hands over Eve’s.
“What are you doing?”
“I haven’t touched you in days, Villanelle. It’s unfair.” Eve says swiping Villanelle’s hands away. “And I’m tired of not knowing what you taste like.”
Villanelle bites down hard on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. And then she lets Eve continue.
Villanelle steadies herself using Eve’s shoulders as Eve helps her step out of her pants.
Her thighs are on fire with Eve’s fingertips grazing the backs of them, Eve’s mouth lightly tracing the front of each of her thighs now.
Villanelle has a small scar on the inside of her right thigh that Eve pauses over.
“What is this from?”
“Work.” Villanelle says shortly, too nervous to go into detail. Villanelle rests her hands on Eve’s shoulders to keep her upright. Her legs feel weak with Eve this close to her. With Eve taking control like this.
Eve’s fingers run lightly over her backside to grip the top of her underwear.
As she starts to pull them down, Villanelle blurts it out.
“I haven’t had anyone’s mouth on me since Anna.”
Eve pauses to look up at a visibly shaken Villanelle.
Villanelle remembers feeling like Anna thought of it as a chore. Touching Villanelle.
At first, Anna was curious. Her touch felt curious. Near the end of whatever they were, Anna barely touched her and only wanted Villanelle inside of her, quick and done with.
“We’ll go slow then.” Eve says, abandoning her grip on Villanelle's underwear to move her hands to Villanelle's waist.
Eve slowly pulls Villanelle into her, Eve’s mouth finding her at once. She feels Eve’s kiss through sheer fabric. Villanelle leans her head back to let air into her lungs once more.
Eve’s tongue traces over the fabric, Villanelle softly moaning as her grip on Eve’s shoulders tighten.
Eve pulls Villanelle's hips further towards her, deepening the friction of her tongue against Villanelle through the fabric.
And Villanelle can’t help it now. She relaxes into it, her hands moving into Eve’s hair to pull her even closer. Safe. She feels that word again.
Eve moves her mouth up Villanelle’s body as she rises to her feet, takes Villanelle's hand, and guides them to the couch.
“Sit.” Eve says gently.
Villanelle sits as Eve leans over her, hands working at the clasp of Villanelle's bra. It falls over her shoulders and Eve removes it, tossing it to the side.
Eve crouches to her knees.
“Lift your hips.”
Villanelle does as Eve slowly removes the last remaining barrier Villanelle had.
“Go slow, Eve.” Villanelle says shakily.
“Scoot your hips forward.”
Eve softly guides Villanelle’s legs open to lean into her, tracing her tongue up one of Villanelle’s thighs.
Villanelle can’t breathe. She can’t watch.
Villanelle closes her eyes and leans her head back on the back of the couch as Eve’s tongue finds her.
Eve’s hands gliding up her abdomen, fingertips lightly tracing over Villanelle’s breasts.
“Open your eyes, Villanelle.” Eve says against her.
Villanelle does as she asks. I will do anything she asks, Villanelle thinks. She has me. I am hers.
Villanelle watches Eve’s hands on her, Eve’s mouth on her, in amazement. She has never been touched like this. So gently, so slowly, so full of care and want.
And even though Eve had listened to Villanelle when she said to go slow, Villanelle knows she won’t be able to hold on much longer.
Eve’s tongue slowly laps at her, pulling everything in, Eve’s own moans escaping her lips and hitting Villanelle where she needs to feel them the most.
As Eve’s tongue flicks slightly faster over her, Villanelle moves her hands to Eve’s hair to pull her further in. She wants Eve to consume her. Every inch of her.
Eve moves her hands to hook under Villanelle’s thighs, helping Villanelle pull her in.
Both of their moans and whimpers linger in the air, intertwined together, indistinguishable from one another. Becoming one as their movements sync.
And when Eve’s tongue moves to enter her, Villanelle loses it. She throws her head back, clenching around Eve, shuddering, crying out, crying Eve’s name into the air as if she needs help, letting her warmth slide over Eve’s tongue as Eve consumes every bit of her. As if she wants none of it to go to waste.
Eve continues to drink her in, lapping at her slowly, sending Villanelle over the edge, again and again. Until she can’t breathe, until she can’t see.
She can only feel the curls of Eve’s hair on her fingertips. Oh, that hair.
“My god, how much can you eat?”
“Eve, I’m starving. It’s your fault, really. “ Villanelle says grinning.
They both sit cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch, both showered, dressed, a movie playing on the TV in front of them, room service on their laps.
“Okay, one more hour of this, and then you have to get some rest.”
“Finally I get to watch movies with you and you are cutting me off? дразнить.” Villanelle says, snatching food off of Eve’s plate and shoving it into her mouth with a smile.
“Mhmm. I’m guessing that wasn’t such a nice word.”
“Depends.” Villanelle says shrugging, mouth full.
“So what time will you be heading out in the morning?”
“The tenant leaves around 9 for work. Gets back around 6. That gives me a good window. So, whenever you’ll let me leave bed.” Villanelle says playfully, winking.
“How do you know when the tenant leaves and comes back?”
“I have a guy.” Villanelle says while chewing.
She always has "a guy", Eve thinks.
“Of course you do, моя любовь.” Eve chuckles.
Villanelle swallows loudly, and stills herself. The look in Villanelle's eyes cements Eve to the ground, makes her head spin, and knocks the breath right out of her.
She pulls Eve to her forcefully, crashing their lips together.
Villanelle flips the food off of their laps and sends it flying across the room. She pins Eve to the ground, moving Eve’s wrists above her head with one hand, crashing her lips frantically into Eve’s again.
Eve hasn’t felt Villanelle this way. She’s tougher than usual, but her touch still feels gentle. Full of care. Full of want.
Eve feels Villanelle’s free hand travel up one of her thighs, Villanelle's fingertips moving Eve's shorts aside, Villanelle entering her. Without asking for permission. She never has to ask for permission again, Eve thinks.
“Oh my god, Villanelle.” Eve is moaning already, wrapping her legs around Villanelle's waist as Villanelle's mouth moves to her neck, biting gently.
“Say it again, Eve.” Villanelle pants as she sets a fast rhythm with her hand.
“моя любовь.” Eve gasps out, digging her nails into Villanelle’s back.
Villanelle gasps into her neck, her fingers at Eve’s wrist wrapping tighter to anchor herself into Eve with each movement.
And when Villanelle's lips move to her ear to whisper "моя любовь" back to her, Eve let’s go and succumbs to the pressure Villanelle had built inside of her.
Eve cries out, guiding Villanelle further into her with her nails that dig into the shirt on Villanelle's back.
Villanelle slumps into her, panting, trying to catch her breath, releasing Eve’s wrists as Eve pulls her face into the crook of her neck.
Eve kisses every reachable part of Villanelle's face, whispering softly.
"моя любовь. моя любовь. моя любовь."
дразнить - tease
моя любовь - My Love
Chapter 19: A familiar rush
Comments keep me going <3
Let me know what you think, please
кроха - tiny one
моя любовь - my love
“Are you sure I can’t come with you?”
“I will be quick, Eve. I promise.” Villanelle says over her shoulder, Eve still under the covers. Villanelle already missing that warmth.
Villanelle sits on the edge of the bed. She laces her boots, checks her gun, throws the cartridge back into place with a click, and wills herself to move.
Villanelle used to love this part. Getting ready for a job, a kill. Even though she won’t be killing anyone today, she expected the careful preparation and internal planning would bring something familiar. But it doesn’t. I really have lost my touch, Villanelle thinks. Worth it. Because she’s gained something more.
She knows Eve wants to come with her, to make sure she’s safe, to be by her side. And in all honesty, Villanelle can't stand the thought of being apart from her. We have spent too much time apart in the past already, she thinks. She doesn’t want to make it a habit again.
While this should be quick and wouldn’t necessarily put Eve in danger, she thinks of the worst-case scenario. Someone sees them, someone is home. Villanelle has to use the gun that now rests, cold metal, in her jacket. She thinks of the heat a freshly fired gun would create through that same jacket, Eve by her side, disgusted with Villanelle, unable to look at Villanelle, unable to touch Villanelle again. Villanelle swallows her sick and those thoughts down.
Eve crawls over to sit on the edge of the bed with her.
“кроха.” Villanelle says smiling, glancing amusingly at Eve’s feet that dangle off of the side, not quite reaching the floor beneath her.
“моя любовь.” Eve says sweetly, intertwining her fingers with Villanelle’s.
“Did you google that while I was in the shower last night?” Villanelle says smiling.
Memories of last night rushing through her veins.
“I googled it when I googled ‘asshole’.” Eve says, tracing her fingertips over Villanelles’s knuckles.
“Mhmm. I thought you said you’d only need to know ‘asshole’.” Villanelle says grinning.
“I lied.” Eve says grinning back at her.
Villanelle laughs. “Let’s not make that a habit between us, mhmm? Unless the lie causes something like last night to happen again, of course.”
“That was surprising. Different.” Eve says, biting her lower lip in thought.
“I’m sorry. I lost control.”
Villanelle doesn’t usually lose control. She’s been trained to be very in control. She’s used to that feeling. She’s used to knowing when, what, how, why. She’s always had a plan, a fix. When Villanelle has lost control in the past, someone has always gotten injured or wound up dead. Usually with Villanelle’s hands around their throat. Anger and rage surging through her. Feeling their last breaths and twitches in her fingertips.
Since meeting Eve, control has been hard to come by. But it’s a different kind of control. One that makes her vulnerable when it’s lost. A control lost to something deeper. Lost to something sweeter.
“No. Not a bad surprising, Villanelle.” Eve says. “Just different from how you have been with me so far.”
“I never thought I’d hear that leave your lips in regards to me. Or to hear Russian leave your lips in general.” Villanelle laughs.
“I never thought it possible either. Those words. Until recently.” Eve says, her dark eyes brightening when she looks at Villanelle.
“Good. I’m glad we are on the same page.” Villanelle says, leaning in to meet her lips with Eve’s.
“Took long enough.” Eve says playfully, as they pull apart.
Villanelle’s eyes can’t move from Eve’s. She wants to say something more. Something more than ‘good’. There’s something more than the way they touch each other, the way they move around one another. There’s something so much more.
“Breathe, Villanelle.” Eve breaks their silence.
“I have to go.” Villanelle says, clearing her throat.
“Okay.” Eve says, tightening her hand around Villanelle’s.
“I will call you when I’m leaving. So you don’t worry.”
Villanelle’s feet feel cemented to the ground. Quicksand pulling her in. Not into nothingness. Into Eve.
Eve’s free hand cups Villanelle’s cheek as Eve pulls her lips to hers.
Sweet, soft. Full of something else, Villanelle thinks. Full of something so much more.
When Villanelle stands in front of her old flat, her stomach turns and her chest tightens at seeing it again. Memories flood through her.
She remembers arriving home after jobs, tired, but electric. Villanelle would open that front door, toss whatever luggage she had with her in her bedroom, throw on running clothes, and hit her treadmill until she couldn’t move or feel her legs. Running off that high she still had.
She remembers stumbling out of her door, clutching her side, blood running down her side to stain her hands and clothes. She remembers watching Eve leave through the slats of a wooden door, knife in hand, shaking from head to toe, Villanelle wanting to call out for her, but biting down on her lip so hard that it bruised. She remembers that feeling. Tired, but electric.
Villanelle secures her backpack to her and rounds the side of the building to access the back. A fire escape. So as not to be seen. There are three escapes that have access to the building. This one enters the building a floor above her old flat. She has to jump to reach the escape ladder, using all of her body weight to pull it down with her. A familiar rush.
She enters the building quietly. Leg slung over the entrance, listening. Looking. Most tenants are gone at this time during the week, but Villanelle still plays it safe by being as quiet as possible. Light on her feet. Observant. Every one of her senses on high alert. Familiar.
When she reaches her old flat door, she swears she sees a bloody handprint, a shadow of past events. Past events that have brought her here. In front of this door again. To retrieve what she needs to get her and Eve out. Together.
Villanelle presses her ear gently to the door. Silence.
Flashes of Eve on the other side come into mind. Villanelle peers through a peephole, Eve on the other side, hand to the door Villanelle hides behind, feeling each other through thick wood. Knowing one another is there. A whimpering laugh escaping Villanelle’s lips, soon replaced with Konstantin’s hand. A familiar rush.
Villanelle reaches into her pocket, pulls out a lock pick set, and works quietly, pausing at a passing siren, holding her breath for complete silence. The usual click and Villanelle enters her old flat, closing the door softly behind her.
Everything is different. Furniture, paint color, decorations. Hideous, Villanelle thinks, cringing. She feels offended that it looks and feels how it does.
Villanelle remembers first moving in. An empty slate for her to play with. And of course, flashy is what she was drawn to. Chic. Masculine and feminine. She wanted it to be an oasis. Not that her world gave her any complaints at the time. But she wanted it to feel surprising, exciting, but comfortable when she walked in, high from her last kill. Somewhere that high could dissipate, making her long for something else. Always longing for something else.
There’s no time to feel nostalgic and she wants to get back to Eve, so she makes her way to the kitchen. To the floorboards. To one floorboard. Villanelle slings her backpack over her shoulder to lay in front of her as she crouches down. As she opens her backpack, she finds a paper folded on top.
When she opens it, she sees hotel stationary and Eve’s handwriting.
“Be safe. I love you. x Eve”
Villanelle’s breath catches in her throat, her body feels numb. Her eyes water and she swipes at them, the note clutched in one hand. The tears sting her cheeks. Tears annoy and frustrate Villanelle. She’s used to holding them back, biting the inside of her cheek until it bled to stop it from happening. But now she crouches, the note in one hand, tears running until they reach the floorboard beneath her. The floorboard that contains their way out underneath. Together, she thinks.
When Villanelle begins to breathe again, a familiar voice rings out.
Villanelle reacts in a split second, jumps to her feet, whipping around, grabbing her gun from her jacket and holding it steady towards Konstantin, who emerges from around the bedroom corner.
You are not family. It sounds in her mind as she keeps her gun pointed at Konstantin. Who smells like her father. Who was like a father to her, Villanelle thinks.
Her gun holds steady.
“Tsk. Are you going to shoot me?” Konstantin says smiling with his hands raised in surrender.
“If you move without me asking you to, yes.”
“I figured Eve would be with you.” Konstantin says with a raised eyebrow.
“Why are you here, Konstantin?” Villanelle asks in a firm voice.
“Can I sit?” Konstantin asks, gesturing to the bed behind him.
Villanelle doesn’t have time for this back and forth. And knowing Konstantin, he has the stamina for a good back and forth, and Villanelle doesn’t have the patience.
“WHY ARE YOU HERE, KONSTANTIN?” Villanelle yells.
“I came back for you.”
“Oh, bullshit!” Villanelle says, gun raised as she steps towards him.
“Villanelle, please, I am unarmed.”
“Show me.” Villanelle says, feet away from him now.
Konstantin removes his jacket and slides it towards Villanelle, who pats at it with her foot to feel for anything. She uses her foot to slide it to the side. Gun held steady.
“Turn around.” Villanelle says.
When he does, hands still raised, Villanelle steps forward to press the barrel to the back of his head as her other hand pats him down.
“Sit on the bed.”
Konstantin slowly walks towards the bed, and sits to face Villanelle. With one hand, he rubs the back of his head where Villanelle had her gun pressed tight to his skull.
“Where is Eve, Villanelle?” Konstantin says, starting to drop his hands.
“How should I know.” Villanelle says, emotionless, completely still, finger on the trigger.
Her finger itches, twitches, and aches as it used to when she felt this close to a kill.
But her heart races. He’s mentioned Eve twice now, and that makes Villanelle’s skin crawl.
Konstantin’s laugh bellows and echos throughout the flat.
It’s always been a deafening laugh. It used to make her warm. It used to make her feel that word - safe.
But this laugh makes Villanelle's stomach turn.
I should’ve heard something from her by now, Eve thinks.
A call, a text. Something.
Eve calls and it rings.
Pick up. Pick up. Let me hear your voice.
Nothing. So she sends Villanelle a text.
“Everything okay?” Sent.
Eve is getting impatient. Worried. She feels sick to her stomach.
When she hopped out of the shower this morning after Villanelle left, she thought she would have a text waiting for her.
Now it’s been over an hour since she expected something, and she has nothing.
Eve paces the hotel room. Thinking.
The note. Maybe that was too much, Eve thinks. Maybe that was enough to push Villanelle to distance herself again.
No. Villanelle has to feel the same way. It wasn’t too much. It couldn’t have been too much. She’s changed, Eve thinks. And, she's changed me.
I will be quick. She hears Villanelle’s voice ring in her head.
Her heart racing, her feet unable to stop moving. No response from Villanelle still.
Eve makes a decision. She walks over to Villanelle’s bag, grabs a gun, and lets the door swing shut as her legs set a fast pace ahead of her.
“Do you think that I am stupid, Villanelle?” Konstantin says with a smirk, coming down from his raucous laugh that lasted far too long.
“Yes.” Villanelle says, her hand steady. Stomach turning. He knows.
“I’ve been watching you. You’ve been very distracted.” Konstantin says, waving a finger at her. Tsk, tsk.
She has been distracted. Extremely distracted. Worth it, she thinks.
“And you’re old and fat. Get to the point.” Villanelle says.
“They have Irina, Villanelle.” Konstantin says, flatly.
Villanelle moves closer to look down at a sitting Konstantin. Barrel now resting on his chest. The note from Eve burning a hole in her jacket. She feels the burn at her side, near her scar.
He looks so small. So helpless, she thinks.
Villanelle's mind wonders to the vision of Konstantin, on his knees, in front of Carolyn, crying out for Villanelle.
So small. So helpless. Such a pussy, she thinks. For all of the shit he talks, he sure was afraid of death at that moment.
“Who does?” She knows who. The Twelve. Helene. Villanelle is so sick of Helene and her large nose.
“You know who.” Konstantin says.
“And why should I care?”
“Because you do. You DO care.”
She presses the gun tighter into Konstantin's chest, gaining a grimace from his face as the barrel bruises.
Villanelle feels her phone vibrate in her back pocket. Shit, she thinks. She needs to make this quick, but Konstantin is tying her up. Per usual.
“I shot you once before. I can do it again.” Villanelle says, emotions at bay, eyes void and empty. A threat.
“Mhmm. But you won’t."
“I will.” Villanelle says through gritted teeth. Pressing the barrel into him with all of her strength. Elbow locked. Her finger itching, twitching, and aching.
Konstantin looks at her with care in his eyes. Villanelle knows what's coming. She knows what he's about to say.
Villanelle cuts off his train of thought and laughs. “We are not family. We’ve both made that very clear.”
“And she is? Eve?”
“Yes.” Villanelle answers quickly.
“Because you are the same? Do you really still believe that?”
“No. We are very different. But she is my family.” Villanelle's only family. The only one she needs.
“Please, Villanelle. My daughter.” Konstantin begs. Care in his eyes. Care for his daughter, his own life, not mine or Eve's, Villanelle thinks. Konstantin has only given a shit about himself.
You would choose your family over me? It rings loud in Villanelle's mind. Of course he would. It makes sense now, after everything.
Villanelle would choose Eve a thousand times over. Over anyone, anything. She is family. She will kill for Eve. She would kill Konstantin in a heartbeat for Eve.
“They will kill her if you don’t come with me.”
Villanelle hears the front door creak open.
“Villanelle?” A whisper.
At the slightest turn of her head, Konstantin lunges, knocking the gun from Villanelle’s hand and throwing her to the ground. Villanelle scrambles for it as it skids but Konstantin has the footing and he reaches for it first.
“Villanelle!” Eve screams from the foyer.
“Eve, get back. Now!” Villanelle yells, Eve not in sight as of yet. She still has time to leave.
Eve rounds the corner and fixes her shaking gun at Konstantin. Jesus, Eve, Villanelle thinks. For once, just listen to me.
Konstantin swings around with the gun in his hand and points it at Villanelle, who is now laying on her back on the floors cold wooden planks.
“No!” Eve screams. “Please!”
“Eve, leave!” Villanelle shouts.
Konstantin looks between the both of them. Something flickers in his eyes. Understanding.
“Everyone lives if Villanelle comes with me, Eve.” Konstantin says.
“She isn’t going anywhere with you.” Eve spits out in a trembling voice.
“She has to. I have no choice. She has no choice.” Konstantin says, gun held fast at Villanelle.
“I will go!” Villanelle yells, her tone pleading with Eve to let her. To let this be over. For Eve to walk away. Alive.
“No, Villanelle.” Eve says, defeat in her voice. “Please.”
“It’s the only way you stay alive, Eve.”
“Without you though.” Tears forming in Eve’s eyes.
“Do you really think she loves you, Eve? Do you think she’s capable of it? She is not.” Konstantin spits venom.
“She is.” Eve says shakily.
Konstantin’s laugh echos. Unsafe, Villanelle thinks.
“Konstantin, drop the gun. I will go.” Villanelle says flatly.
“No, Villanelle.” Eve says as she steps forward, gun steady at Konstantin. “She’s not going!”
“Eve, they will find us. Always. They will kill you to get to me.” Her eyes can’t leave Konstantin and the gun he wields. Aiming for her heart.
“They will kill YOU if you go, Villanelle!” Eve shouts, tears falling down her cheeks.
“I know.” Villanelle says. “But you live, Eve.”
“Why did I turn around, Villanelle?” Eve says, suddenly calm. Her hand and gun steady.
Villanelle doesn’t feel the gun on her anymore. It’s as if Konstantin doesn’t exist. It’s only her and Eve now. And as she breaks her eyes away from Konstantin, she meets Eve’s. Her eyes pleading with Villanelle. Stay with me, they say.
Villanelle remembers how Eve trembled wielding the ax she used to kill Raymond. Without even touching Raymond with it, it shook violently in her hands. The gun stills in her hands now.
Her hair was wild then. And it's wild now.
“Together.” Villanelle says, with understanding and acceptance.
“Together.” Eve repeats back.
“Drop it, Konstantin. We will both go.” Eve says, gun still steady on him.
Villanelle meets Konstantin’s eyes now. Something flickers. Understanding when he looks between the both of them. He sees it. He sees what's happening between them.
“Eve, please.” Konstantin says, nodding towards her raised gun.
Villanelle meets Eve's eyes again and nods at Eve for reassurance. Eve lowers her gun as Konstantin does.
Eve is by Villanelle’s side at once.
“Are you hurt?” Eve asks, running her hands over Villanelle. Checking for anything.
“No, no. I’m not. I’m okay, Eve.” Villanelle says as Eve helps her rise.
Eve holds her when she’s on her feet, arms around her waist. And they are alone again. Just the two of them. Together.
Konstantin clears his throat. “We need to go. We made a lot of noise.”
“I came here for a reason, against my better judgement.” Villanelle says bitterly, but gently untangling Eve’s arms from around her waist.
She grabs Eve’s hand and pulls her to the kitchen. Villanelle crouches over the floorboard, grabs a flat edged tool out of the backpack that still lays open, and pries the floorboard up slowly and gently.
Without prying it up fully, Villanelle's elbow disappears underneath and reappears quickly, with a shoebox.
“You came here for shoes. Typical.” Eve says sarcastically, standing over Villanelle as Villanelle shoves the shoebox into her backpack, zipping it up.
“Very expensive shoes, Eve. You saw the box. Jimmy Choos. It would be a sin to leave these behind.” Villanelle seals the floorboard back as if it had never been disturbed.
Konstantin picks up his jacket, slips it on, and deposits his gun into its pocket.
“I have a car a block from here. We need to get going.” He says.
Villanelle rises, intertwines her fingers with Eve’s.
Thank you for all of the kind comments.
I hope to have this finished within 5 chapters.
We'll see though :)
Let me know what you think of how this is turning out and how you liked this chapter!
Chapter 21: And she has changed me
Translations in this one -
моя любовь - my love
Let me know what you think!
I had fun with this chapter
Eve sees flashes of the “old” Villanelle when they are around Konstantin. She’s much more of a smart ass around him. Eve isn’t complaining, though. He deserves it.
“Is this a church van, Konstantin?” Villanelle says as they approach his vehicle, her face scrunched in disgust. “The Twelve not paying you well anymore?”
“They aren’t paying me at all." Konstantin spits. "This is all I could get with cash short term.”
“I’m glad the windows are tinted. I would hate to be seen in this monstrosity.” Villanelle says, buckling both her and Eve in.
“Are you going to be like this the entire time, Villanelle?” Konstantin asks, glaring at her in the rearview mirror.
“Worse, actually.” Villanelle says flatly.
“God, help me.” Konstantin mumbles, gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white.
But with Eve, Villanelle is sweet. Concerned. Flirtatious. Whispering to Eve in the backseat as they drive towards their hotel to pick up the rest of their belongings.
I missed you.
Thank you for coming for me.
You are extremely sexy with a gun in your hand.
Konstantin insists he go up to the room with them, but Villanelle isn’t having it.
“Trust is a two-way street, Konstantin.” She says over her shoulder as they exit the van, rolling her eyes and smirking at Eve as they walk hand in hand into the hotel.
“You two are like a married couple.” Eve says when they get into their room.
“Eve! Gross. Don’t ever say that again.” Villanelle says, tossing her bag at her feet. “Sit.”
Eve sits on the couch as Villanelle stands, hands in her pants pockets, chewing on her bottom lip.
“I’m going to fill you in. You decided to go with me, against your better judgement. And I decided to let you, against mine.”
“You don’t get to decide that, Villanelle.” Eve says coolly.
Eve is tired of having her decisions made for her, her life taken from her.
“You're right. I'm sorry." Villanelle says apologetically.
“I assume The Twelve is involved. I knew what I was getting myself into.” Eve says.
“Oh, I know to never underestimate you again, Eve. But this is more than The Twelve. Konstantin’s daughter is involved. They’ve guaranteed Konstantin the release of Irina in exchange for delivering me.”
“And they want you for killing their other, I'm sure much less attractive and talented, assassin?”
“Yes.” Villanelle says, her smile reaching the green of her eyes.
“That information makes no difference to me. I would’ve gone no matter what.”
“God, that scares me.” Villanelle says, sitting with her now.
“So, our plan?” Eve asks, leaning her head on Villanelle’s shoulder as she sits.
“I have none.” Villanelle says with a sigh.
“Well, this way we come to them. Instead of secretly hoping and praying they don’t catch up to us. I’m tired of running. From them, from you, from this.”
Villanelle leans her face to the top of Eve’s head and breathes her in.
“I love you, too.” Villanelle mumbles into her hair.
She saw the note. These words coming out of Villanelle’s mouth make Eve shiver and her thighs tremble.
“How much time do we have before Konstantin comes knocking?” Eve says, pulling Villanelle’s face to hers, eyebrow raised.
“Eve Polastri, does imminent death and danger turn you on?” Villanelle says, with a familiar twinkle in her eye.
“If we don’t have a lot of time left, we might as well make the most of it, don’t you think?” Eve says leaning to kiss Villanelle’s pulse at her neck.
It’s racing. Bounding beneath the feather-light touch of Eve's lips.
“We have maybe ten minutes.” Villanelle says quickly, standing, pulling Eve up with her, and pulling at her own clothes clumsily. She kicks her boots off, sending them flying in opposite directions. She stumbles trying to get out of her pants.
“Oh my. Excited?” Eve says laughing, as Villanelle rushes to get Eve’s clothes off of her.
“Of course, I’m excited, Eve!”
Villanelle scoops Eve up once a single layer of fabric remains between them, wraps Eve’s legs around her waist and walks them, pinning Eve against the hotel room door.
"Oh!" Eve says laughing, as her back hits the door.
“This way, if Konstantin does come knocking, he’ll hear this.” Villanelle says with a smirk and then pulls Eve’s lips to hers.
Frantic, like they are running out of time.
“I almost came looking for you two.” Konstantin says, as Villanelle lets Eve slide into the backseat and throws their luggage in the back for them.
“You would’ve regretted it!” Villanelle shouts as she slams the trunk.
Konstantin groans as Villanelle slides in beside Eve.
“No one is going to keep me company up here? I feel like a chauffeur.”
“You’re technically a kidnapper.” Villanelle reminds him.
“Did you grab me anything to eat?” Konstantin asks as Villanelle and Eve unwrap the food they grabbed on the way out of the hotel.
“Again. Kidnapper.” Villanelle says, taking a bite out of her sandwich.
Villanelle tosses him a sandwich and it lands on the dash in front of him with a heavy thud.
“Here, asshole.” Villanelle says, mouth full.
“Thank you.” Konstantine says gratefully.
“Mhmm.” Villanelle's only response.
“I see you still eat like an animal.” Konstantin says as he watches Villanelle engulf her sandwich like a Pelican.
“I see you still look like the Pillsbury doughboy.” Villanelle says, picking a newly found tomato off of her sandwich, and rolling the backseat window down to toss it.
“Don’t do it, Villanelle. You know I hate that.” Konstantin says through gritted teeth.
Villanelle makes a show of it and slings it into traffic.
“It’s biodegradable.” Both of them say in unison, Konstantin mocking Villanelle’s voice.
“Where are you taking us Konstantin?” Eve cuts in.
“We are stopping in Brussels tonight.” Konstantin says, taking a bite of his sandwich.
“And what’s in Brussels?” Villanelle asks.
“We will be.” Konstantin says dismissively, chewing loudly.
Villanelle is becoming more on edge with her back and forth, combative dialogue with Konstantin.
“I’m sorry for what you are about to see.” She says to Eve, kissing her lips lightly. "Hopefully you still love me after this."
As they drive, Villanelle makes it a game to make Konstantin uncomfortable.
She sings incredibly loud and incredibly out of tune to the radio. Konstantin continuously asking her to stop, before turning the radio off completely. Villanelle whining and pouting like a child when he does it.
It reminds her of the "old" Villanelle. A petulant, spoiled brat.
But every time Villanelle acts like this to get her desired reaction from Konstantin, she looks to Eve with a smile and winks.
She’s also extremely flirtatious with Eve, and very audibly, so Konstantin can hear.
I can’t wait to get these clothes off of you.
I miss your mouth on me.
The things I would do to you right now.
Konstantin shifts in his seat, whistles, drums the steering wheel with his fingers. He can't use the radio to drown her out, because Villanelle will use that against him.
Normally this kind of talk would make Eve really uncomfortable, but it’s actually doing something for her and Villanelle can tell.
“Really, Eve? I am purposefully being incredibly obnoxious.” She whispers in Eve’s ear.
“You are. But I am into it right now for some reason.”
Villanelle shakes with laughter and kisses her.
Villanelle pretends to be asleep on Eve’s shoulder a few hours into their drive, purposefully snoring comically loud.
“Jesus, Villanelle!” Konstantin yells. “I am trying to drive!”
Eve feels Villanelle smile into her shoulder, which her face is nestled into.
After a while though, while Eve runs her fingers through Villanelle’s hair, she hears Villanelle’s normal light snore take over, signaling that she had actually fallen asleep.
Eve sits in silence, staring out the window. Villanelle’s head on her shoulder, Villanelle’s arm wrapped around the front of her waist, holding tight to her.
Eve wraps her arm even tighter around Villanelle, her fingers still running through her silky blonde hair as she sleeps.
“You really love her, don’t you?” Konstantin breaks their silence.
The sudden break in silence startles Eve as she meets his gaze in the rearview mirror.
She doesn’t respond. She moves her eyes back to the greenery and cars that speed by as they drive.
“I’ve never seen Villanelle like this with someone. Never.”
“Why doesn’t she trust you anymore?” Eve dismisses his comments and replaces them with her own curiosity.
Konstantin’s knuckles tighten on the wheel.
“There’s a lot of reasons, Eve.”
“We have hours ahead of us. Go ahead.”
Konstantin laughs, less deafening and booming as to not wake a peacefully sleeping Villanelle.
“You have always asked too many questions. I don’t know how she handles it.” Konstantin says, regarding Villanelle.
When Eve doesn’t respond, he sighs.
“Villanelle and I have a complicated relationship. There was mutual trust, intertwined with mutual distrust. You know how she is, Eve. We’ve both wronged one another.”
“Do you actually know how she is, Konstantin? Or who she is for that matter?" Eve says defensively.
“Not anymore, no.” Konstantin says. “She has changed. You have changed her.”
“And she has changed me.”
“I see this in you. After everything she has done to you, your life, your body, your marriage, your heart, and mind...you still stay?”
“After everything we've done to one another, we both choose to stay.” Eve says, pressing her fingers gently but possessively through Villanelle's hair.
Eve swears she sees Konstantin smile sweetly in the rearview mirror when she says this.
“I know her and I aren’t in a good place. But she is like a daughter to me.” Konstantin says.
“You are a shit father.” Villanelle says sleepily, pressing a kiss into Eve’s neck, yawning, and stretching her long arm span over the back of the seat.
"Good evening, Villanelle." Konstantin says warily.
Villanelle completely ignores his greeting and directs her attention to Eve.
"Has he been keeping you up with his incessant talking?" Villanelle says quietly.
"Of course." Eve says, pulling Villanelle's lips to hers.
"Mhmm. How's my breath?" Villanelle says as they pull apart.
"A little sandwich-y." Eve says.
"Is that a word, Eve?" Villanelle chuckles.
"God, I love when you tell me to Google stuff." Villanelle says, pressing her lips to Eve's, and slowly parting them with her tongue.
"Don't." Eve says, grabbing the front of Villanelle's shirt to put distance between their bodies.
"Why?" Villanelle whines. "He can't see."
"He's literally looking at us right now."
When Villanelle looks up, Eve sees the recognition in Villanelle's face as she realizes Konstantin's eyes are on the both of them through the rearview mirror.
"Oi! Eyes up front!" Villanelle yells.
"Keep your hands to yourself back there!" Konstantin spits back.
Pulling Villanelle's face back to hers, Eve whispers.
"Are you going to tell me what was in that shoebox? I know it wasn't a damn pair of shoes."
"I will show you when we stop for the night." Villanelle says, quickly pecking her lips. "Now sleep, моя любовь."
Chapter 22: No one is good enough for it
Getting close to the finish line I think lol
Mentions Villanelle's father again, FYI.
Also, NSFW but soft :)
кроха - tiny one
засранка - asshole
Let me know what you guys think!!
Eve's soft, deep breathing soothes the anger and resentment that boils over habitually in Villanelle.
Villanelle rides quietly now, listening to Eve breathe, feeling Eve nestled into her side. Any strain or ache that she felt melts away with Eve near. Safe.
Is this what love feels like, then? She thinks. She could do this for the rest of her life.
Villanelle leans her head back and closes her eyes, arm tight around Eve's shoulder, forgetting their other passenger completely.
"Villanelle..." Konstantin says quietly, piercing her sense of security and warmth like a knife.
"Hush, Konstantin. You're ruining a moment for me." Villanelle huffs as her eyes flutter open to meet Konstantin's in the rearview mirror.
"I didn't know, Villanelle. I didn't think it could be like this with you two." Konstantin says, an apology close on his lips.
Villanelle senses it.
"If you are trying to apologize, save it. I don't want to hear any more bullshit from you."
"I am sorry, Villanelle. If I knew..." Konstantin says, his eyes meeting the sincerity of his apology.
"So, I am like a daughter to you?" Villanelle says, breaking his gaze to stare at the passing dark shapes in the window. It all blurs together.
"Yes. From the moment I met you." Konstantin says shakily.
"Abandoning family is a habit of yours, then?" Villanelle snaps.
"It's hard to explain, Villanelle."
"Please, enlighten me. If we have to have a conversation."
"I loved my wife, I love my daughter. The majority of the time, however, you were on my mind. We spent more time together than I spent with my wife and Irina. My life away from you was basked in lies. No truth to who I was when I was with them. Around you, it was different. I felt comfortable being more of myself around you because our lifestyles were similar. The way we think is similar."
Villanelle chuckles softly and meets his gaze.
"So, because you enjoyed being around me so much, you lie, deceive, abandon?"
"Yes. Because I felt like I owed my wife and Irina. For the lies, deceit, abandonment. Because I did those things with them too, no? I felt like I needed to make things right. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't."
Villanelle remains silent. Feeling Eve's chest rise and fall slowly against her.
"I regret how I did it, Villanelle. I didn't want to put you in danger, but I had to. To make things right. I knew you could take care of yourself. Irina cannot."
"Irina is more than capable of taking care of herself. She is annoying, but smart, and strong. She has a father like you, so she has to be." Villanelle spits, knowing that those words cut Konstantin deep.
But he doesn't respond defensively or in ill-nature.
"Annoying, smart, and strong. You two are very similar, Villanelle. As much as it scared me to admit it. Seeing you now, how you are with Eve, seeing what you've grown to become, it makes me proud to admit it."
Villanelle's throat clenches at his words. Her eyes burn into the back of his seat.
She wants to punch him, shoot him, stab him, strangle him. It would be so easy.
But the thought of it starts to make her sick. As her anger rises in her throat, so does something else. Something that puts that anger to bay, for now.
"Let me rest, Konstantin." Villanelle musters the only words she can relate to at this moment.
Konstantin stays silent, his words pulling Villanelle's face into Eve's hair.
To feel the only comfort she's capable of feeling.
With her face in Eve's hair, and her scent in her nostrils.
When they arrive in Brussels, Konstantin books them rooms for the night.
Villanelle wakes Eve, and the three of them go their separate ways without exchanging words.
As they walk to their room, bags slung over Villanelle's shoulder, Eve shuffles slowly, just waking from sleep.
"Would you like me to carry you?"
"Am I walking too slow for you?" Eve says with a yawn.
Villanelle sweeps her feet from under her and scoops her up.
"I'm awake!" Eve shouts as she wraps her arms around Villanelle's neck to steady herself.
"Too late. I'm already carrying you." Villanelle grins down at her.
When they arrive at their hotel room door, Villanelle struggles to get the keycard out of her jacket pocket with Eve in her arms and their luggage over her shoulder. Her efforts end successfully, even after a protest from Eve to put her down.
"This is so romantic. Me, carrying you over the threshold of our room. Isn't that a tradition for married couples?" Villanelle says as she takes a step in.
"It would be more romantic if your arms weren't shaking." Eve laughs.
"It's the luggage, not you, кроха." Villanelle says while setting Eve down on her feet.
An audible groan of relief as her arms relax accidentally slips Villanelle's lips, and she throws a hand up to try to stop it.
"Oh, so it was me!?"
"No, no." Villanelle laughs, letting their luggage slip off of her shoulder. She fakes another groan of relief as they hit the ground. "See."
"засранка." Eve mutters as she takes a look around their room.
Villanelle does the same. The hotel room is not bad. It's old fashioned in its decor, which makes Villanelle's skin crawl, but the room is big and there's a massive clawfoot tub in the bathroom that looks inviting.
“Eve. There’s a huge tub in here!” Villanelle exclaims.
“God, I haven’t had a good bath in a while.” Eve says, running her hands through her messy curls.
“C'mon.” Villanelle says, grabbing Eve's hand.
Villanelle runs their bath and pulls Eve into the space between her legs, Eve resting her back against Villanelle's chest, Villanelle's arms wrapping tight around Eve's waist to pull her closer.
They sit in silence, eyes fluttering shut, the warm water washing over the both of them.
“What did you and Konstantin talk about while I slept?” Eve says, breaking their silence.
“About how much of an asshole he is.” Seeing what you've grown to become, it makes me proud to admit it. His words ring in her mind.
“Mhmm. He loves you, Villanelle.”
“Funny way of showing it.”
“Everyone has their own way.” Eve says, shrugging against her.
“And his is abandonment.” Villanelle spits.
“And yours was to shoot me.” Eve says flatly.
Her heart lurches at these words, and she needs Eve to be tighter to her to relieve that pressure in her chest. Villanelle will never feel whole when they talk about it. That will never change.
Eve's scar looks at her now. While Villanelle loves that Eve has her tattooed on her body, the actions and feelings that put it there make Villanelle sick.
Villanelle wraps her arms tighter around Eve’s waist, her lungs expand greedily as the pressure in her chest subsides.
“I see your point. What would be your way?” Villanelle says, leaning her chin on Eve's shoulder.
“What do you think my way is?”
“Mhmm." Villanelle thinks of the way Eve treats others. The way Eve treated her and treats her now. There was always something unique about the way Eve expressed herself around Villanelle. And she saw the difference in the way she expressed herself around others.
"You are mindful in the way that you love. Thoughtful. With small gestures. When I’m speaking, you listen. Intently. Even when I’m saying something ridiculous. You also show your love through touch. I can feel it every time we touch. Even in the smallest or most casual of touches.”
Eve turns her head to capture Villanelle’s lips in hers. A soft, gentle kiss.
“Like that.” Villanelle says as her lip trembles. “It feels totally different than when you kissed me on the bus.”
“It should.” Eve laughs. “Seeing you again after Rome was confusing. I felt so many things. Each contradicting one another.”
“I shouldn’t have done that. Approached you.” Villanelle says with a knot in her stomach at the thought.
“No, I’m glad you did. Now that we’re like this, I can say that it was definitely hot.”
“Even the headbutt. It hurt, but god, it felt so good. I felt it everywhere.” Eve says, placing her hands on Villanelle's thighs.
“Mhmm. I only felt it in my head.”
Eve pinches Villanelle's thigh as Villanelle laughs.
“What was in the shoebox?” Eve asks.
“Oh. Just money, a few small handguns, some personal stuff.” Villanelle says as she brushes a few stray curls from Eve's face.
“What kind of personal stuff?”
Villanelle takes a shaky breath and thinks of the pocketwatch that lies in the shoebox that rests in her backpack now.
It was the only item she had on her, besides her dirty clothes, when she arrived at the orphanage.
Villanelle has never been sentimental. But her father had given it to her. At least, that's what she remembers.
So, she's kept it with her. She didn't want it on her person, so she always found a place for it. To hide it. Away from herself. But she always remembered it was there.
Every time she padded barefoot over her Paris kitchen floors, she felt the heat of it on the soles of her feet. Safe.
"A pocket watch. My fathers."
"Oh." Eve says, placing her hands over Villanelle's at her waist.
"Your note will sit by it whenever and if ever I find a place for them. Wherever we end up."
"You would keep that?" Eve turns to face her now.
"Forever." Villanelle says, lightly tracing her lips over Eve's.
Eve begins to tremble in her arms and Villanelle can feel what Eve is feeling. Just through her touch. You also show your love through touch, she hears her own words from just a moment ago pierce her mind.
Villanelle deepens the kiss and Eve takes it greedily.
"I am so in love with you, Eve." Villanelle says as she moves her lips against Eve's. "I never thought I would feel this. Never. I never felt like I deserved to feel this."
Eve moans into her mouth, her moan met with Villanelle's own, as Villanelle's hand slowly travels down Eve's chest and ribcage, gently grazing over Eve's abdomen to find Eve between her thighs.
"The way you say my name, the noises you make when I touch you, I can't deserve that. No one is good enough for it."
"Villanelle..." Eve whimpers at her touch.
"Do you feel the same way?" Villanelle asks, her fingers spreading Eve's warmth up and down, her other hand moving to Eve's waist to hold her hips steady.
"You are good enough for it. You are the only one that deserves it." Eve says, breathless from the rhythm that Villanelle has set in between her legs.
"Good." Villanelle says, gripping Eve's waist possessively. Plunging her tongue into Eve's mouth to be met with Eve's, frantic as she moves closer and closer to the edge.
As Villanelle's pace gets faster, feeling what Eve wants through just the heat of Eve's back against her own chest, Villanelle pulls Eve into her lap and onto her fingers that have moved underneath her.
Eve gasps as Villanelle wraps an arm around the front of Eve's waist, guiding Eve's back tighter to her chest, pressing her face into Eve's wet curls that bounce slightly with each movement.
"I want to feel you on my hand. I want to feel you clench around me. I need to feel it, Eve. Always."
Villanelle is close to losing it with just touching Eve like this. Feeling Eve clench around her fingers. Feeling Eve shake on top of her. Feeling Eve tremble and shudder when her fingers curl inside of her.
When Eve throws her head back, almost hitting Villanelle in the face from the force of her climax, Villanelle loses it.
They are moaning together, gasping together, shaking against one another. They move and feel as one.
Eve slumps back against Villanelle's chest, both of them breathing heavily, chests heaving.
"Now, I know I didn't deserve that." Villanelle chuckles after her breath returns to her. "No one does.”
Chapter 23: Tell me if it's too much
We see some dark Villanelle here. Only because Eve asks.
Let me know what you guys think, please!
Starting to wrap it up!
mon amour-my love
When Eve wakes early in the morning, Villanelle is coiled around her like a snake. Snoring softly, with what looks like a small smile curling at her lips.
I am so in love with you, Eve. She hears it again. And again. As she replays last night's events in her mind.
Villanelle wasn’t a psychopath. She’s known that to be true since they danced together. She felt it in Villanelle's touch, saw it in her eyes.
Not rage, lust, anger, possessiveness.
But, care, confusion, love, fear.
That was such a short time ago. And look how far they’ve come.
Falling in love with Villanelle was quick. Eve had already cared for her in a way. But, it was a confusing type of care.
Eve knew she wanted Villanelle safe. She knew she wanted Villanelle to laugh. The way her eyes would light up and get teary as the laugh reached them. Eve loved the way Villanelle pined after her. The way she spoke to her. The feeling she got when their stolen touches occurred or when their eyes met with such intensity, her knees would go weak.
She wanted Villanelle to be different then though. She knew her feelings wouldn’t change for her unless a shift happened. And it did. And then falling in love was like a snap of the fingers. As if it was meant to be.
She remembers their first night they shared in the hotel. Eve wasn’t one to sleep with someone so quickly. But Eve’s feelings for Villanelle had already been rooted in her for over a year, waiting for something. And as soon as she felt a shift in Villanelle, and felt Villanelle’s touch, it overwhelmed her. And so did confusion. Her hands around Villanelle’s neck as she rocked into Villanelle’s fingers. Pain and pleasure. After feeling Villanelle’s blood at her fingertips, Eve knew that was enough. That pain could no longer exist between them. And when Eve woke the next morning, she knew she was falling in love with Villanelle. It was that quick.
“Hi, Eve.” Villanelle whispers softly, with a loud yawn following.
“Good morning.” Eve says, kissing Villanelle’s forehead.
“Your hair looks amazing this morning.” Villanelle says as she pulls back to look at Eve, running her fingertips along Eve’s scalp, sending chills down Eve’s spine. I hope it always feels this way.
“Just this morning?”
“Even more so this morning.” Villanelle says, tugging gently.
“I really loved the way you talked to me last night.” Eve said.
“When?” Villanelle says, glazy eyed and enthralled by the curls in Eve's hair that run through her fingers.
“During sex. I’ve never had someone talk to me like that.”
“You’ve never had someone talk dirty to you during sex?”
“That wasn’t dirty, Villanelle. That was something else.” Eve is becoming short of breath just thinking and talking about it.
“Well, I’ll be sure to talk to like that more often.” Villanelle says, pulling Eve’s hair playfully. “I’ve never had someone talk to me like that either.”
“Would you like that?” Eve asks.
“Would I like you to compliment me and tell me how much you love me during sex? Yes, Eve.” Villanelle says with a smirk.
Eve smacks her shoulder playfully.
“What was sex with Niko like?”
Eve starts to cough uncontrollably, sitting up to try to catch her breath. Villanelle laughs behind her, sitting up with her to pat her back.
“That bad, huh?”
“It wasn’t awful. Just, vanilla.” Eve says when she recovers.
Villanelle shifts to sit behind Eve, splaying her long legs next to Eve’s sides and pulls Eve back to lay on her chest as she rests them against the headboard. She wraps her arms cozily around Eve and Eve melts into her.
“I love when you do this.”
“I just want to wrap you up. Like a cocoon.” Villanelle laughs and pulls her tighter.
“You just want the best view of my hair.” Eve says smirking and looking at Villanelle over her shoulder.
“Guilty.” Villanelle says, playing with the curls that lay over Eve’s shoulders.
“What were you like when you were with other women? Before me?” Eve asks, curious but not really wanting to hear the answer.
“It was definitely not vanilla.” Villanelle says, leaning her chin on Eve’s shoulder.
“Oh, god. Nevermind. I don’t want to hear it.”
Villanelle laughs softly and sighs.
“It was empty. I used it as an escape I think. Especially once I met you. It was meaningless. It made me feel lost. I always wanted it to be you.”
“Would it have been like this if we had done this then?” Eve asks. She thinks she knows the answer. There would be no way for Villanelle, a year ago, to process these feelings and these kinds of touches.
“Oh, no. It would’ve been good. But in another sense.”
“It would just be fucking at first, I’m sure. No emotion behind it for me. I’d want to take you. What I thought I deserved from you. What I thought you owed me.” Villanelle says, sadness in her voice.
“I’m glad that didn’t happen. You deserve more. I know that now.”
“It would’ve been the same for me, Villanelle. It would be just satiating lust. I was physically attracted to you. There was an emotional intrigue, but not an emotional understanding.”
“Mhmm. Well, I’m glad it’s like this. This is much better.” Villanelle says, planting a kiss to Eve’s neck.
“I wish we didn’t have to leave. I wish we could stay. Just one more night.” Eve sighs.
As if on cue, Villanelle’s phone chimes.
She reaches over, still holding onto Eve with one arm, and pulls her phone to her to read the text.
“Konstantin says to hold tight. Stay in the room. I guess The Twelve has had to relocate temporarily with Irina. MI6 and our friend Carolyn are on their tail.” Villanelle says.
“Oh. Jesus. This keeps getting better and better.”
Villanelle tosses her phone on the floor and returns to their previous position.
“I’m hungry and do not want hotel food.” Villanelle huffs, and Eve knows she’s frowning.
“We should sneak out and get breakfast in town.” Eve says, turning to Villanelle with a huge grin on her face.
“We’ll be stealthy. Let’s get you some real food.” Eve says, turning to pat Villanelle’s rumbling tummy.
“God, Eve. I love it when you talk dirty to me.” Villanelle says playfully growling, pecking Eve on the lips and launching herself out of bed like a child on Christmas morning.
Evading Konstantin was easy. They had to pass his room to exit the hotel, and as they snuck closer to his door, his loud, freight train snores rattled the walls.
"I do not miss that." Villanelle says, now casually pulling Eve along, hand in hand.
They find somewhere close to the hotel. What Eve considers a diner. Small. Cozy. Basic menu. Villanelle is licking her lips and bouncing her knee while reading the menu, a huge grin plastered on her face.
Villanelle and Eve are the type of couple to sit next to each other in a booth. Couple, Eve thinks.
Eve used to make fun of those couples. Niko used to try it and Eve would balk at the idea.
With Villanelle, it feels so natural. She wants to be by her. She wants others to look, to stare, to know they are together, and to know Villanelle is hers and she is Villanelle's.
“Can I ask you something kind of personal?” Eve asks as they eat.
Villanelle turns to look at her, mouth full, and nods.
"Who diagnosed you as a psychopath?"
Villanelle chews and swallows mindfully before speaking.
"I was first aware of the term and what it meant in regards to myself around the time I went to prison. Before I was recruited by Konstantin."
"Do you think you are a psychopath?" Eve asks.
"I've been told I was, so I've always considered myself to be. I'm not one for labels." Villanelle says, spearing fruit onto her fork.
"I figured. I think you were misdiagnosed. I think you have a personality disorder caused by past trauma, but I don't think you are a psychopath." Eve says carefully.
She's treading new waters here. She's not sure how Villanelle is going to react to this.
"Like I said, I'm not one for labels. I've just always been told I was. The term 'psychopath' is thrown around too casually. It's annoying." Villanelle says, scraping her plate clean.
"You are so indifferent about this. I expected you to be somewhat put off by the question." Eve says thoughtfully.
"And you asked it anyway? So sexy." Villanelle says, grinning. "Should I be put off by it?"
"In the past, you have been put off with almost everything." Eve laughs.
"I am indifferent to it because it doesn't matter to me anymore. Not while I'm with you. Nothing does, besides you."
Villanelle's gaze burns into Eve's.
"You are such a romantic." Eve laughs, rolling her eyes.
"Only with you, Eve."
They explore the small town. Walking the streets, dipping into shops along the way.
They leisurely walk through a small farmers market, Villanelle touching everything she sees.
Villanelle notices Eve watching this behavior.
"I have a thing for textures." Villanelle says, shrugging.
As they browse, Eve watches Villanelle. Notices little things about how she interacts with her environment and the people around her.
Villanelle is drawn to color. Bright, vibrant color. Eve feels her hand pull when Villanelle unconsciously gravitates towards something bright and eye-catching.
Villanelle is charming. If something does catch her eye, she speaks to the person selling it. Asking thoughtful questions, wanting annoyingly detailed answers, making appropriate jokes, making people smile as they look after her as she walks away.
Villanelle is thoughtful. She looks for things she thinks Eve might like.
"I'll be right back. Stay here." Villanelle says, untangling their intertwined fingers and winking at Eve before she jogs forward a few booths away.
Eve turns to busy herself at the booth she's currently standing by. Pocket knives with hand-carved handles.
Eve laughs. Ironic.
When Villanelle returns, breathless from jogging back to Eve, she has a small box in her hand and a huge grin on her face.
"And what's this?" Eve says, touching her fingertips lightly to the box.
"For you." Villanelle says, pulling Eve's lips to hers. She can feel Villanelle smiling into their kiss.
She places the box in Eve's open palm and takes a small step back.
"Is it a bomb? Is that why you're inching away?" Eve laughs.
Villanelle rolls her eyes. "No. I just want to see every bit of you while you open it."
Eve's hand tingles around the box when she says this.
Eve pries the box open slightly to peek in and sees it.
It's not an expensive thing. It's homemade. It's small. But it is everything.
Eve takes the ring out of the box and looks at its engraving - mon amour.
"Do you like it?" Villanelle says quietly, stepping back to Eve to place the ring on a finger of Eve's right hand. "It is in French. To remember our time here."
"I know it's not the real thing. But, they engrave them." Villanelle says, nodding to the booth she purchased it from behind her. "If you don't like it, we can look at others?"
Eve can sense Villanelle is feeling self-conscious as Eve's silence draws out longer. Villanelle is shifting from foot to foot, staring at Eve.
But, Eve can't find the words.
She pulls Villanelle to her, lips crashing, Villanelle moaning at the contact, Villanelle's hands gripping tightly at Eve's waist.
"I love it." Eve whispers against Villanelle's lips as they pull apart.
This is the first gift Villanelle has given her that was meant only for Eve. Villanelle had purchased clothes, perfume, shoes, tangible things for Eve. Gifts in the past that were meant to taunt her.
And while this gift was tangible, feeling the weight of it on her finger, the meaning of it was quite intangible. Meant only for her. Not to taunt. But to remind Eve of Villanelle and her love.
"Wait, how did you know my finger size?" Eve breaks her own train of thought.
"I have a thing for sizes. You know that, Eve." Villanelle winks.
Villanelle insists on getting dinner to go. Bringing it back to their hotel room.
When they come upon their room, they find a note tucked inside the lock, where their room key slides into.
Villanelle slides it out, reads it, and grins.
“Konstantin says we leave early tomorrow morning. And to get some rest after our long day of exploring.” Villanelle laughs.
“Oh, he’s not happy.” Eve chuckles.
“He’ll get over it. He knew better than to tell me to stay put. That makes me not want to stay put even more so.”
“Such a rebel.” Eve says sarcastically.
“Mhmm. You love it though.” Villanelle says, stepping to place their food down on a table.
“I will take responsibility. It was my idea.” Eve says as Villanelle steps behind her to wrap her hands around Eve’s waist.
“How am I the responsible one, here?” Villanelle says, turning Eve around to catch her lips with hers.
Eve feels a sudden overwhelming rush of emotion in this kiss. They leave in the morning. To god knows where. To an unknown conclusion. Hopefully to a new beginning. But, Eve isn’t convinced that that’s how her and Villanelle’s story will end. Maybe it was inevitable. Their story ending with them in love, only for a short amount of time, before they are separated. From each other, from their own vitality.
Eve rests her hands on either side of Villanelle’s face, brushing her thumbs across each cheek, memorizing the feel of Villanelle’s smooth, tan skin. Memorizing the green in her eyes when she looks at Eve. The way her golden baby hairs at her hairline curl and wisp out a bit. The way her lips part whenever Eve touches her.
“I have fallen so in love with you, Villanelle.” Eve starts. “I want to make a life with you. I want to own a dog with you and raise it as our child. I want to buy a house with you. I want you to teach me how to speak different languages. I want to forever watch you talk with your mouth full.”
Villanelle smiles softly at that, her eyes glassy.
“I want you to kiss me, hold me, fuck me, make love to me, whisper to me, yell at me, fight with me. I want every possible future with you.”
“I could do three of those things right now. I can kiss you, make love to you.” Villanelle whispers against her lips.
“That’s two things, Villanelle.”
“Three. Because I whispered it.” Villanelle says with a grin.
“That is all you got out of what I said?” Eve says flatly.
“Do you want to yell and fight about it? We can make that five things then.” Villanelle says as she brushes her thumb across Eve’s bottom lip.
Eve closes her eyes and leans against the touch.
“I want that too, Eve. All of it. All of you.” Villanelle says after a brief silence.
Villanelle wraps her fingers in Eve’s hair, presses her forehead to Eve’s, and searches her eyes. Always searching.
“I want you to fuck me tonight, Villanelle.”
“What?” Villanelle softly gasps.
“Make me forget what might happen tomorrow. Make me numb to everything else besides you. I want you to take me like the old Villanelle wanted to take me. I want you to completely let go. Unrestrained. I want you to possess me. Use me. I want to forget that we might lose one another.”
“And then I want you to make love to me tomorrow morning. As if it’s the last time we’ll ever touch. I want you to tell me how much you love me. And I want to tell you how much I love you. I want to feel like it’s our first and last time.”
Eve feels a rumbling roll through Villanelle’s chest. It vibrates through her as Villanelle presses her forehead tighter to Eve’s.
“Eve, I don’t know if I can touch you like that anymore. It feels foreign to me now. Those feelings.”
“Try? If you cant, tell me. Tell me if it's too much.” Eve says, hoping that the pleading in her voice and eyes reach Villanelle.
Villanelle rests the weight of her forehead against Eve’s and closes her eyes.
Eve has tears in her eyes. She’s scared, fear for what tomorrow brings ripples through her. She needs Villanelle more than she ever has.
Villanelle opens her eyes, brushes a tear off of Eve’s cheek, and takes a shaky breath.
“Okay. I will try.”
Villanelle leans down and captures Eve’s lips gently. She tilts Eve’s chin further up to deepen the kiss. And Eve feels everything Villanelle has ever felt for her in this kiss. Her hands tremble under Eve’s chin.
After they break apart, Villanelle’s breathing is soft, but ragged. Eve can feel her tremble. She’s holding back but letting her restrain go slowly.
Villanelle intertwines her fingers with Eve’s and pulls her to the side of the bed. She grabs Eve’s waist, a tight grip. She pulls Eve’s lips to hers, gently at first. Soft and exploring. Tasting one another. Eve feels a sharp pain at her bottom lip as Villanelle pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and nips at it. Eve pulls back in shock and looks at Villanelle.
Her eyes. Dark. Full of lust. She wants to take. She wants to possess. Her eyes not the bright green she’s used to. This is different. And it makes Eve ache. The way she used to. The way she did when Villanelle pressed her up against her fridge, knife against her throat. The way she did when Villanelle trapped her against her kitchen counter, knife dragging down her chest to rest at her sternum.
“You like that?” Villanelle breathes against Eve's lips.
“Yes.” Eve says shakily.
Villanelle quickly flips Eve around as they stand, pulling Eve’s back tight to hers. Both of their chests heaving.
Villanelle wraps her hands around Eve’s waist to unbutton Eve's pants, roughly dragging them and her underwear down over her thighs to rest at her ankles.
Eve feels a strong hand on her back push down to bend her over the bed so that her elbows hold her weight. Villanelle’s hands find Eve’s hair. She wraps her hands around the curls of Eve’s hair, tightening the pressure against her scalp. Nails digging in slightly. Villanelle’s thigh nudges her legs apart and then she hears a throaty but sweet whisper at her ear.
“Tell me if it’s too much.”
Eve let’s out a low shaky moan as these words hit her core, her arousal hitting her like a wave. And her mind is blank, only feeling Villanelle, only hearing Villanelle, forgetting where she is, who she is. Surrounded only in Villanelle.
Chapter 24: Forever
Getting close to the end. This is super romantic and soft btw.
Let me know what you think :)
Long chapter FYI
They didn’t sleep that night. Their dinner ends up cold on the hotel room table.
Villanelle’s stomach growls embarrassingly loud while they lay bare together. Bodies intertwined. Fingers tracing whatever skin they can reach.
“That’s it. I need food.” Villanelle says, pecking Eve on the lips and almost throwing herself off of the bed to retrieve their dinner.
“Bring it to bed!” Eve calls after her as Villanelle pads barefoot across their room.
“Obviously, Eve.” Villanelle says over her shoulder.
With dinner eaten, bellies full, and physically exhausted from their night and early morning activities, Villanelle pulls Eve tight to her chest. They lay together, breathing in sync as the time ticks by. As their time ticks by.
Villanelle's mind is too on edge to rest. She is awake, alive, alert, warm, safe. She thinks of their future together as she runs her fingers through Eve's wild curls.
“So, tell me. Where would you want to go? Where would we buy our house?” Villanelle says, staring up at the ceiling.
“Mhmm. Am I the one that gets to choose?” Eve says, arm slung across Villanelle’s chest, trailing her fingers lightly up and down Villanelle’s shoulder.
Villanelle watches Eve's fingers dance across her skin, the ring on her finger pulling her gaze. The ring Villanelle gave her.
“Of course. Within reason, obviously.”
“Yes. The United States is off-limits. I can’t do it.” Villanelle says, grimacing at the thought.
“Okay. Understandable. What about Spain? A house by the water?”
“Mhmm. Barcelona is nice. You'd like it. Good food, beautiful scenery, beautiful...”
“Stop there because I know what you’re doing.” Eve says flatly.
“What? I was going to say architecture, Eve. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Uh-huh. But, yes, Barcelona sounds nice.”
“Okay. So a house on the water, in Barcelona. And what is our dog's name? The one you want to raise with me?” Villanelle says with a smile. Eve wants to raise something with me, she thinks.
“Oh god. Mhmm. I’ve never been good with names. You can pick the name.”
“Pass?” Eve asks, amused. "Is that the name you've come up with?"
“No, Eve. Pass on that question for now. I’m not good with names either. We’ll be spontaneous with that one.”
Eve laughs. “Okay. Spontaneous.”
“What language do you want me to teach you first?”
“Jesus. You are asking so many questions this morning.” Eve says softly, trailing her fingers from Villanelle's shoulder down her ribcage. Feather-light touches in between each rib.
“Tsk. Eve, humor me. What language?”
“Spanish. Since we’ll be living in Barcelona.”
“Mhmm. Good choice. Eres tan hermosa."
"Oh. My first lesson. And what does that mean?"
Villanelle turns her body towards Eve and pulls her lips to hers. Her fingers wrapping into Eve's hair. The action is almost instinctive by now. Subconscious touches. Like gravity pulls and tugs at her hands.
"You are so beautiful." Villanelle says, grinning as she pulls away.
"You are such a charmer." Eve says, bringing Villanelle's lips back to hers.
“Charles.” Villanelle chuckles against Eve's lips.
“What?” Eve says, pulling her lips back slightly.
“For our dog. I have a thing for animals with very human names.”
“You find that really funny, don’t you?”
Villanelle’s chest vibrates with soft laughter.
“Just thinking about it is very funny.”
“Mhmm. And you are very cute.” Eve says, tapping Villanelle's nose with a finger.
“And sexy?” Villanelle says with a devilish grin.
“Oh god, VIllanelle. I’m not playing this game with you because it will never end.”
“I asked you to compliment me during sex, and if I remember last night and earlier this morning correctly, I was the only one complimenting.” Villanelle says puffing her bottom lip out to pout dramatically.
“Oh my god. Because I couldn’t speak! Or think!”
Villanelle laughs and intertwines her fingers with Eve's, slowly guiding Eve's hand in between her thighs.
She wants to feel Eve one more time. Just once more before they leave. She wants to feel Eve inside of her, taking up her whole being with her fingers, her hands, her mouth. Taking up her whole being with the noises that come out of her when she touches Villanelle, the way she kisses Villanelle to help her come down. Consuming her with the way Eve's eyes glass over, get darker, hooded, her lips parting ever so slightly when Villanelle's mouth is on her and her tongue inside of her. Villanelle wants to be engulfed by the sound of Eve's laughter at the times Villanelle loses her balance or accidentally drops Eve during sex. Smooth, Villanelle thinks.
“Make it up to me then, mhmm? Compliment away, Eve.”
Konstantin is waiting for them when they finally make their way out of the hotel. He’s in the driver's seat, wrapping his knuckles against the steering wheel, watching them approach.
Villanelle throws their luggage in the trunk and slides into the backseat beside Eve.
And without any words exchanged, they set off.
“Have fun last night?” Konstantin says smugly, breaking their silence a few minutes later.
“Last night, early this morning, an hour ago.” Villanelle says, winking at Eve as Eve pinches her thigh.
“I meant your excursion into town, Villanelle.”
“I knew what you meant.” Villanelle says unamused.
“Where are we going?” Villanelle asks, not giving Konstantin the satisfaction of a sarcastic back and forth.
“How far is the drive?” Eve asks.
“Almost 8 hours.” Konstantin says, rolling his window down and lighting a cigarette.
“Jesus. Didn’t you just have a heart attack?” Villanelle says incredulously.
“I’m stressed, Villanelle.”
“We all are. You need better coping mechanisms.”
Konstantin’s laugh booms throughout the van. “Says the person who choked someone out in a club bathroom because they were heartbroken?”
Villanelle's eyes go wide and meet Konstantin's in the rearview mirror as he inhales his cigarette entirely too quickly and playfully raises an eyebrow at Villanelle.
“What?” Eve says, turning to look at Villanelle.
“It’s nothing.” Villanelle says through clenched teeth. Asshole. Piece of shit.
“Oh. She hasn’t told you that story?” Konstantin says smugly.
“Villanelle, what is he talking about?” Eve asks.
Konstantin begins to open his mouth to speak when Villanelle cuts him off.
“It was a while ago, Eve.” Villanelle says, meeting Eve's eyes now.
“As in 'before we knew each other' a while ago?”
Silence. Eve's eyes search Villanelle's.
Eve's face drops, a show of understanding.
“And why were you heartbroken?”
“After one of my kills, I assumed they would send you to investigate. They sent someone else.” Villanelle shrugs.
“And that made you feel heartbroken?” Eve asks, confused.
“Yes. Because of Konstantin and his incessant taunting." Villanelle spits.
"Incessant taunting?" Konstantin chuckles.
"Yes. You were an asshole."
"Because I was a voice of reason? Because I was telling you the truth?"
"What truth?" Eve asks.
Villanelle meets Konstantin's eyes again as they have a silent stand-off.
Villanelle breaks first.
"Konstantin told me that you had forgotten about me. Had something better to do. That there was someone and something more interesting that you were involved with. You were chasing The Ghost at that time."
"Oh." Eve says, sounding almost guilty.
"And when you didn't show up, I knew Konstantin was right."
"He wasn't." Eve said quickly.
"What?" Villanelle asks.
"Carolyn wouldn't let me go. I knew it was you. I wanted to go. Desperately. The Ghost was just a distraction. From you. Everything was a failed attempt at a distraction from you."
"Oh." Villanelle says, softly smiling at Eve.
"Don't get a big head." Eve says, rolling her eyes at Villanelle.
"Too late." Villanelle says, pecking Eve on the lips.
"See, Konstantin!?" Villanelle slaps his shoulder from behind.
"Shit, Villanelle! I'm driving!." Konstantin huffs and throws his cigarette out the window.
"Wait. So, you choked someone out in a club?" Eve says, as if she is remembering this huge detail that was completely skimmed over.
"Not to death." Villanelle says, raising a finger to try to solidify that point.
"Oh, she would've. If I hadn't tossed her over my shoulder to carry her out of there." Konstantin says as he rolls up his window.
Eve laughs. "You had to toss her over your shoulder? Like a child?"
"She was behaving like a child." Konstantin says, waving a dismissive hand back towards Villanelle.
"Because you treat me like a child."
"Because you behave like a child!"
"Okay!" Eve says, raising her hands to signal them to stop arguing.
Villanelle's thoughts wander to that night. Her hands tight around the girl's throat. The girl was a brat, Villanelle thinks. The girl's feet dangling off of the ground as Villanelle squeezes harder, feeling the last of the girl's breaths beneath her hands and fingertips. I was a brat. The rush that rolled through her when she felt it. Masking the sadness and confusion.
The feeling that Villanelle felt when she saw Konstantin sleeping, curled up on the ground beside her bed. To watch over her. To make sure she was safe. Safe.
Villanelle's chest tightens and her throat runs dry at the thought.
Eve turns to face Villanelle. "So, you choked someone out because you were heartbroken? Over me?"
"I don't think I knew exactly what that feeling was at the time. I just wanted to escape it. I wanted to be numb."
"That is strangely romantic." Eve laughs.
Villanelle's eyes go wide with shock and a grin curls at her lips.
"Are you serious!?" Konstantin says, shocked and rudely interrupting their moment.
"Tsk! Shh." Villanelle hushes him and pulls Eve's lips to hers. Kissing her softly. Smiling against her.
"I have plenty of stories to tell you then. Ones where I act like a child because of how heartbroken I was over you. If you would like to tell me how much of a romantic I am." Villanelle says when they break apart.
"Oh god. I am in love with a brat."
"Mhmm. A sexy brat, yes?" Villanelle says, lightly pecking Eve's lips and wrapping an arm around her shoulder to pull her snuggly to her side.
"You two are meant for one another." Konstantin mumbles as he turns the radio on, drowning out Villanelle and Eve's whispers.
At the halfway point, Konstantin has to stop to get gas and make a phone call. They all take turns running to the bathroom and Villanelle grabs whatever snacks she can find on her way back to the van.
When Villanelle and Eve wait in the backseat for Konstantin, Villanelle realizes that she’s picked up a nervous eating habit as she shoves a handful of anything she can reach into her mouth.
She feels Eve’s gaze and smile on her.
“What?” Villanelle says, mouth full.
“Are you nervous?”
Villanelle swallows and laughs, nervously. But she will deny it. She needs to be level headed, strong for Eve.
“Of course not.” Villanelle shoves another fist of crisps in her mouth. Struggling to chew.
Eve doesn’t buy it. She’s too smart. She knows me too well.
“I am too. Nervous, I mean.” Eve says.
With her mouth full, Villanelle offers her a bag of crisps. As if saying, this will help.
Eve laughs and waves it off.
“Tell me a story. Anything. Distract us.” Eve says, leaning her head on Villanelle’s shoulder.
“Anything?” Villanelle says playfully after a painful swallow.
“Preferably PG, PG-13. Light-hearted, Villanelle.” Eve says, playfully slapping Villanelle’s thigh.
“Mhmm. Okay. Let me see. Oh! I’m a decent cook, but a horrible baker.”
“Is this a story or just statements about yourself?” Eve chuckles.
“Tsk. Let me finish, Eve. Remember that cake I sent you for your birthday?”
“So ungrateful.” Villanelle says with a smirk and playfully flicking Eve's hand. “I had originally baked you a cake myself.”
“Oh really?” Eve looks up at Villanelle, amused.
“Yes, Eve. I am very thoughtful.” Villanelle says, tapping Eve’s nose with her finger.
“And it turned out...”
“Awful. Horrendous. Hideous. I’d never seen anything like it.” Villanelle quickly chimes in.
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“Oh, it was bad.” Villanelle laughs.
“It’s the thought that counts?” Eve says, eyebrows raised.
“That’s the thing. I thought of you, sure. But I sent it because I didn’t want you to forget about me.”
Eve looks thoughtfully at Villanelle, brushing an embarrassing amount of crumbs off of her chest.
“I don’t think I could ever, in a million years and lifetimes, forget about you.”
“Eve, I’ve been such an asshole to you. I don’t understand how you could love me. It takes me by surprise every day. I wake up every morning thinking ‘today will be the day Eve sees what a terrible mistake she’s made.’”
“We’ve been assholes to each other, Villanelle. I think that’s why. We accept it. Accept one another and what we’ve done. To others and to each other.”
“Where did I find you, Eve?” Villanelle says softly, pressing her forehead to Eve’s.
“I found you, remember?” Eve says with a wink.
“You did. And thank you.”
“For what?” Eve says with a questioning look.
“We’ll be there in an hour.” Konstantin says, rousing Villanelle from her sleep.
She finds Eve’s head in her lap, her hair messily draped over her face and Villanelle’s thighs. Villanelle rubs her own cheek to bring blood flood back to it, numb and cold from resting her face against window.
Villanelle smiles down at Eve as she sleeps. A stray curl has fallen between Eve’s parted lips. Villanelle pulls it out and tucks it behind her ear, gently so that Eve doesn't wake.
“I want to stop somewhere when we get close. Somewhere quiet. Private.” Villanelle says through her yawn.
“Why?” Konstantin asks.
“Because I want a moment alone before we get there.” Villanelle says softly, tracing her fingers around the ring on Eve’s hand that is curled up on her lap.
Konstantin is silent, but Villanelle meets his eyes in the rearview mirror as he nods curtly.
“May I speak to you, Villanelle?” Konstantin asks quietly after a moment.
”Do I have a choice?” Villanelle asks sarcastically.
“You can just listen if you want. But I have to say this to you.”
“Please, Konstantin. I’m tired of the motivational speeches.” Villanelle says with an exasperated sigh.
“I want to tell you about yourself, okay?”
“This sounds familiar.” Villanelle says drearily, turning her gaze to the passing trees and road.
“Shut up and listen. For once in your life. Listen to me.”
Villanelle is silent at the seriousness of Konstantin’s voice.
“From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. I had no idea that day that I would end up considering you as one of my own. As if one pain in the ass daughter wasn’t enough. It wasn’t a decision I made. It happened. Seeing you now, seeing what you’ve become, being who you are now while knowing where you came from, I am so proud. I know what we are about to do doesn’t show it. But I love you, Villanelle. Know that. Remember that.”
Just the sound of the three of them breathing fills the van. Villanelle can usually find the words when it comes to Konstantin. The words are usually sarcastic, hurtful, but quickly accessible. Villanelle is at a loss. The words that normally come to her don't feel right here. She remains silent for a moment. Collecting her thoughts. Thoughts of Eve.
”I will try to remember that. Pray that Eve’s life isn’t put in danger. I would never forgive you.”
”Do you really blame me entirely? For the danger Eve is in?”
”Yes.” Villanelle says quickly.
”The moment you chose to pursue her beyond what you were required for your job, her life was put in danger. Eve is an adult. She chose to pursue you as well, knowingly putting her life in danger. While this situation directly involves me, this danger is years in the making. And not all of my doing.”
Villanelle looks out the window. The light and dark, the shadows and beams of sunlight, the colors of their surroundings a blur as they speed by. She knows Konstantin is right.
She’s always been the danger. A darkness in Eve’s life. A darkness is everyone’s life. Like a shadow. It followed her wherever she went. A shadow accentuated even more by the light.
Villanelle looks down at Eve, her head still on her lap. She is so trusting of me, Villanelle thinks. The hardest obstacle Villanelle has overcome is earning Eve’s trust and love. Eve knows her inside and out. She knows the darkness that follows Villanelle. But, she’s also brought out the light in Villanelle. The light that blinds. That light that swallows the darkness. She owes everything to Eve. She will not let these last few darkness shrouded years go to waste. Eve has fought with her, cried over her, grieved over the things she’s done to her and the ones she loves. That will not go to waste. Eve has fought too hard. She deserves the light.
“Will you take Eve with you? If anything happens to me. If I can’t make it out of this.” Villanelle asks softly, meeting Konstantin’s eyes in the rearview mirror.
“She will not go without a fight.”
“I know. Promise me you will try.” Villanelle says, more vulnerable around Konstantin than she’s been in a while. She tries to hold her voice steady and firm, but it shows too much emotion and Konstantin’s eyes show guilt and pity before turning back to the road ahead of them.
At least Eve will be safe, Villanelle thinks. She will hate me for it. But she will be safe.
When they near their destination, Konstantin pulls to the side of the road. The only small piece of desolate road he could find. There are a few trees about 10 yards away. Big and looming trees. Their leaves fall as breeze hits them. They fall like rain.
“Eve...” Villanelle gently shakes her awake.
“Are we here?” Eve asks, groggily.
“Not quite. Take a walk with me.”
Eve sits up and yawns. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I just want to walk with you for a moment.”
“Okay.” Eve gazes at her. Worry on her face.
As Villanelle walks them hand in hand towards the trees, she feels Eve’s eyes on her. Never breaking. Burning into her profile.
“I feel you looking at me, Eve.” Villanelle says smiling, squeezing Eve’s hand.
“I’m just wondering what we’re doing. Is there a shallow grave out here?”
“What?” Villanelle laughs. “I would’ve asked Konstantin to go with me if that was the case.”
Their short walk continues in silence until they reach the trees Villanelle spotted through the van window.
“What’s wrong, Villanelle?” Eve says as she leans her back against a tree.
“Nothing. I just have some things to say to you. That I want you to hear. That you deserve to hear.”
“I want to thank you, Eve.” Villanelle says as she steps forward to intertwine their fingers.
“For finding you?” Eve smirks.
“For so much more. You’ve given me so much more.”
“Let me get this out because I’m getting nervous and I’m not good at this in the first place.” Villanelle says, looking down at their fingers that wrap together.
Villanelle brings Eve’s lips to hers, pulling back to whisper against Eve’s lips.
“Thank you for taking the time to understand me. Even though initially, it was your job.”
Villanelle grins, kisses Eve’s forehead, whispering.
“Thank you for loving me. Despite the horrible things you’ve seen me do. To you. To others.”
Eve pulls Villanelle’s lips to hers now. Tears run down Eve's face, leaving a salty taste on her lips. Villanelle greedily takes it in and pulls apart only when she needs oxygen in her lungs.
“Thank you for kissing me like you never want it to end. Like you’ve never felt anything like it. Because I haven’t. I’ve never felt anything like it. I never thought I would.”
Villanelle feels her own tears sting her face. She swipes at them, annoyed, but Eve stills her hand and brings it down to where it was. Intertwined fingers with hers.
“Don’t. Let them.” Eve says softly.
Villanelle lets out a shaky breath and grins.
“Thank you for doing things to my body that I will never forget, and have never experienced before.” Villanelle mouths ‘Wow’ playfully and Eve laughs through her tears.
“Thank you for wanting to build a life with me. I’ve never had that. I’ve never had anyone want that with me. And thank you for making me a part of a family. You’re all I ever want. Ever need. You are everything.”
Eve pulls Villanelle’s face to the crook of her neck, holding her like she never wants to let go. And Villanelle melts to her. Molds into the shape of Eve. Their tears mix, unlike oil and water.
When Eve pulls Villanelle’s face to meet hers, she kisses her softy.
“Thank you for letting me, Villanelle.”
The leaves fall like rain around them, above them, swirling between them. The cold air bites at their intertwined fingers, their fingers only made warm by each other’s touch.
“This would be about the time I would thank you properly. If we were alone.” Villanelle says, leaning her body into Eve’s with a grin.
They both look over to see Konstantin gazing at them out an open window, smoking a cigarette.
“Second language lesson of the day. This time, in Russian.” Villanelle whispers. “Yell, извращенный старик.”
“извращенный старик!” Eve yells towards Konstantin.
Konstantin’s eyes go wide, his face drops into anger, he flicks his cigarette dramatically and rolls his window up.
“What did I just say?” Eve asks innocently, turning to face a laughing Villanelle.
“You called him a perverted old man.” Villanelle laughs as Eve slaps her arm.
“We’re going to need to run back to the van before he takes off on us. Leaves us out here for dead.”
“He can leave. And then we would really be alone so I could give you a proper thank you.” Villanelle grins.
“Thank me when we leave this alive. Thank me forever.” Eve says, pulling Villanelle’s lips to hers.
“Forever.” Villanelle says against Eve’s lips.
Chapter 25: Giving you control
NSFW...you're welcome :)
Still soft and sweet.
I'm thinking 2 chapters left! This one is a shorter one.
Let me know what you guys think!
When they pulled up to what looked like an abandoned building, Eve spotted two armed men waiting for them.
“Do either of you have any weapons?” Konstantin turned to ask them as he puts the van into park.
“No.” Eve said quickly.
Villanelle remained silent.
“Do I need to pat you down myself, Villanelle?”
“Won’t they pat us down?” Villanelle asks, nodding her head towards the two men now approaching the van.
“Yes. But it’s better if we are unarmed now.”
“Our weapons are in the trunk.” Villanelle says.
“No razor wire hiding in your compact?" Konstantin asks, grinning at Villanelle.
There’s a loud rap on the window and one of the men swings open the van door.
“Everyone out. Hands against the side of the van.”
With her palms against the van, Eve’s patted down and then Villanelle next. Eve watches Villanelle as she’s patted down. The man is rougher with her than he was with Eve, and Eve starts to shake with anger. She meets Villanelle’s eyes. Villanelle mouths ‘it’s okay’ and smiles softly at Eve, setting Eve more at ease.
“Oh my. You’re just feeling me up at this point.” Villanelle sighs as they take an extraordinarily long time patting her down.
“Shut your mouth.” The man says and moves on to Konstantin.
The three of them are led into the building. Villanelle grabs Eve’s hand and pulls her close.
The inside is dated. An old office building, offices abandoned, old technology still sits on the desks, office furniture still in place, the musty smell of old dust stings at Eve’s nostrils.
“In here.” One of the men holds the door of one of the offices open and motions to Villanelle to enter.
“She stays with me.” Villanelle says firmly, pulling Eve closer.
The man looks between Villanelle and Eve with a smirk.
“Fine. Someone will come for you.”
They meet Konstantin’s eyes as he’s led out of view. He nods at both of them and the door closes.
The office they’ve been led into looks straight out of the 1990’s. Beige technology with a covering of dust sits on the equally dust-covered desk. Two office chairs are pushed up against the wall. The wallpaper peels, starting from the top to hang from the center of the walls.
Eve watches Villanelle pace the room in silence. Her hands stuffed in her pants pockets, teeth gnawing at her bottom lip.
“Villanelle, sit down.” Eve says softly.
Villanelle stops pacing and looks at her. Eyes fearful. She pulls the pair of dusty office chairs out for them and sits, motioning for Eve to sit as well.
“What are you thinking?” Eve asks.
“About you.” Villanelle says, looking down at her hands that grasp tightly together.
“What about me?”
“How we can get you out of here.”
“Villanelle...” Eve sighs and rubs her face in exasperation.
“You being in this building is making me uncomfortable. Seeing you get patted down turned my stomach. It took everything in me not to snap his neck.” Villanelle says through gritted teeth.
“Listen to me. I chose this. I chose you. I’m not leaving here without you. I’m not going anywhere.”
Villanelle’s legs bounce up and down. Her eyes never meeting Eve’s.
“Look at me.”
Villanelle darts her eyes to Eve’s and then back down at her own hands.
“Look at me, Villanelle. Now.”
Eve’s going to have to be in control right now. She’s going to have to be stern with Villanelle. To snap her out of whatever state she is in right now. She’s never seen Villanelle like this. So nervous, out of control.
She remembers first seeing Villanelle’s work through crime scene photos. This Villanelle that she sees now, would never be able to do such meticulous, calculated, yet creative work. Eve has always been in awe of Villanelle and her imagination, her brilliance, her strength, her courage to be unabashedly herself. She knows that the way Villanelle is acting now is partly her fault. They are both afraid of losing one another. They’ve always been afraid of losing one another to some extent. But, once their relationship entered this realm, that loss would never be survived. By either of them.
Villanelle connects her eyes with Eve’s.
Eve rolls her chair closer so that they are face to face.
“What do you need, Villanelle? How can I help?”
“I need you to be safe. It’s killing me, Eve. You being here. You don’t understand what they are capable of.”
“I think I do.” Eve says, gently resting her hand on Villanelle’s.
“You don’t.” Villanelle says, sounding defeated and solemn.
“Do you know what I am capable of, Villanelle?”
“More than I ever imagined.”
“Okay. So stop this. Gather yourself. Be strong for us.”
“I’m trying.” Villanelle says, gnawing at her bottom lip.
“Stop trying and do it. I need the old Villanelle. I need her to take control of this. I need her to be relentless, but smart. Calculated. If we are going to get out of this together, I need her. We need her.”
“I can’t just flip it on and off like a light switch, Eve!” Villanelle yells.
Eve thinks of Rome. When Villanelle slapped her after she killed Raymond. To snap her out of it. To get her moving off of the streets. To get Eve to focus so that Villanelle could successfully lead them out alive.
So, Eve slaps her.
Villanelle looks at Eve with shock. Eyes wide, mouth agape.
Eve places her cool hand back on the same cheek.
“Why did you do that?”
“Because you are panicking. You need to stop. Now, what do you need, Villanelle?”
“To feel like I’m in control.”
“Then take it back. Be in control.”
Eve brushes her thumb softly across Villanelle’s reddened cheek. Villanelle’s eyes flutter shut, leaning into the touch.
Eve’s hand leaves Villanelle’s cheek as she rolls her chair back slightly to stand up in front of Villanelle. Villanelle’s eyes flutter open when Eve’s hand disappears and she looks disappointed at the distance Eve’s created between them. She peers up at Eve. Her eyes searching Eve’s. For something. Always searching.
Eve moves her fingers to the buttons of her own pants, unbuttoning the first one.
“What are you doing?” Villanelle asks, her eyes dart to Eve’s hands.
“Giving you control.”
Eve’s fingers move slowly. One by one. She’s not sure how Villanelle is going to react to this offer. It’s not just an offer. Eve needs her now. In more way than one.
Villanelle watches her fingers intently. Eve can see her chest rise and fall, quicker with each button.
The sound of Eve’s zipper sets Villanelle off. She rolls her chair forward to tug Eve’s pants and underwear down in one swift move. Her face buries into Eve and Eve’s knees buckle at the contact.
“Take it back, Villanelle.” Eve breathes. Take back your control.
Villanelle starts slow. Moaning at the first taste of Eve. Her hands grip Eve’s backside to roll Eve’s hips up to meet her. Her tongue taking long, slow laps. Villanelle softly nudges at Eve with her nose while her tongue slowly traces Eve’s entrance.
“You taste so good.” Villanelle moans against her, causing Eve to reach out to the back of Villanelle’s head to steady herself.
When Eve’s first moan rolls out of her chest, Villanelle becomes relentless. Her mouth and tongue merciless against Eve. Her fingers digging into Eve’s backside. Pulling her in, thrusting Eve’s hips to meet her pace.
Eve is losing her control, Villanelle consuming it and making it her own.
“Villanelle...” Eve breathes, her head rolling back and her thighs trembling. She’s already so close and Villanelle knows it.
“Not yet.” Villanelle says firmly.
Eve isn’t aware of when Villanelle picks her up until she feels herself slam down on the desk. Eve’s hands grip Villanelle’s shoulders as she nudges Eve’s knees apart with her own. Villanelle runs her hands roughly over Eve’s thighs as she takes in what she sees in between Eve’s thighs laid out before her. She bites her lip and lets out a shaky breath before pumping her fingers into Eve. Relentless. Merciless. Taking her control back.
“Oh. God.” Eve moans and Villanelle continues her rhythm with vigor.
“You like when I’m like this?” Villanelle breathes. Her breaths coming raggedly. Sweat starting to build on her forehead with the exertion. Her other hand grips Eve’s waist to pull her closer to the edge of the desk, getting her fingers as deep as they can with every thrust.
“I like everything you give me.” Eve says through her gasps.
Eve isn't sure how long Villanelle continues this pace. She loses herself in the sounds Villanelle is making, the feel of Villanelle inside of her, filling her, stretching her. Consuming her.
Eve comes back to when Villanelle starts to slow her pace, curling her fingers as she drags out of Eve, plunging deeper and harder during entry.
Eve tries to reach down to unbuckle Villanelle’s pants but is stopped when Villanelle pins her hand against the desk with her hips.
“No.” Villanelle says firmly, still pushing and pulling out of Eve, slow and deep.
“I want to touch you.” Eve whines.
Villanelle is in full control. She’s taken it back in full force.
“I know you’re close. I can feel you.” Villanelle whispers into her ear and nips at her earlobe.
“Yes.” Eve says, her fingers digging into Villanelle’s shoulders as she feels herself clenching around Villanelle’s fingers. Eve leans her head against Villanelle’s chest as her head starts to swim. And then she hears it. It sends her over the edge. Harder and faster than ever. A whisper into her ear.
“Come for me, Eve.”
Eve is gone. A guttural moan escapes her. Eve’s head pitches back, her hands thrown back behind her to hold herself upright on the desk. Wrapping her legs around Villanelle’s waist, pulling her fingers in deeper, Villanelle picking up her pace to work Eve through her climax. Eve drowns in sounds of their moans echoing throughout the old office space and the sounds Villanelle’s fingers are making against her.
Once Eve regains some strength, she throws herself forward to catch Villanelle’s lips. Villanelle kisses her slowly, deeply. Starting to slow her pace inside of Eve to help her come down.
When they both still, Villanelle pulls Eve’s head to rest on her chest. Eve hears Villanelle’s heart bound beneath. She closes her eyes and just listens to it. Music to her ears. Soothing her, making her feel safe.
“I love you.” Villanelle whispers.
Eve pulls her face up to look at Villanelle. Her eyes bright and flecked with green.
“Do you feel in control?” Eve asks, moving her hand to cup Villanelle’s cheek. A familiar touch.
“Completely.” Villanelle says, her voice steady, leaning into Eve’s hand.
“Good. Don’t ever let them take that away from you.”
“Never again.” Villanelle says, tipping Eve’s chin up to meet her lips with hers.
There’s a rap on the door and both of them startle. Eve hops off of the desk and Villanelle helps her dress quickly.
“Hold on!” Eve yells, as if she’s on her way to answering her front door.
Once Eve is dressed and regains her bearings, Villanelle opens the door.
One of the armed men from before stands before them.
“She’s ready for you.”
Chapter 26: So much potential
Getting close to the finish line here :)
Thank you for all the lovely comments!
This chapter is a lot of dialogue.
But, it's Villanelle and Helene. So, the dialogue is witty and just Villanelle being her old asshole self :)
“Hello, my Villanelle.” Comes a sing-song voice as Villanelle and Eve enter the room hand in hand.
This room is much different than the others. While old furniture still remains, the small conference room has been freed of its old dust. No wallpaper peels from these walls. Just a MacBook sits on the sprawling wood conference table before them. Windows span the entirety of the far wall, giving the room an ethereal glow compared to the rest of the building. A woman, light features, tall, sits in a chair next to Helene at the far side of the table. Both Helene and the woman stand when they enter.
Villanelle takes stock of the room and their surroundings.
The blonde woman - taller than Villanelle, gun strapped to her side, in much better shape than Villanelle. Slower though, Villanelle thinks. A baby assassin.
Helene - no weapon. Nose still big. More than meets the eye, Villanelle thinks. She is not to be underestimated.
The only exit Villanelle can spot is the door they came in through.
“Ah, and this must be your Eve!”
Helene rounds the table and reaches for Eve’s hand, grasping it with both of hers and looking absolutely delighted and honored to meet her.
Villanelle can feel Eve tense at her touch. Villanelle squeezes Eve’s hand and receives a soft squeeze back. Communicating through touch.
"I see you got a new one." Villanelle says snarkily, nodding to the tall blonde across the table who remains eerily still, eyes fixed on Villanelle.
"Ah yes. Very much unlike Rhian. This one has a little more style. Flair if you will."
"You move on quickly. And how long will this one last?"
"As long as I need her to. Isn’t that right, Sri?"
The tall blonde nods.
"I’m sorry, I didn’t catch the name." Villanelle says. Villanelle caught the name. It's ridiculous, Villanelle thinks. Most likely, not her real name. A name Sri picked out herself. Villanelle wonders what the meaning of that chosen name is for Sri.
Sri looks at Helene for approval. On a tight leash, Villanelle thinks.
Helene nods for Sri to speak.
"Sri." Sri says, cold and monotone.
"Spell that." Villanelle says, placing her finger on her chin, feigning interest.
"S. R. I. It’s pronounced as 'Sh-ree".
"Nice to meet you, Sarah." Villanelle says and waves a hand dismissively, moving her eyes back to Helene.
Sri sits down entirely too loud and quickly crosses her arms at her chest. Villanelle watches her jaw clench in anger beneath the pale skin of her cheeks.
"Enough, Villanelle. Sit down." Helene says calmly, motioning for them to sit in the chairs closest to the door.
Villanelle and Eve sit across the table from the other assassin as Helene makes her way back to her seat.
"I see you have another one just a dull as Rhian. No sense of humor. No fashion sense." Villanelle says as she settles in.
"Not all of us can be as stylish as the fearless Villanelle, mhmm? And dull? Maybe. But ruthless. Merciless. Inventive even." Helene says as she takes the seat closest to Sri, across from Eve.
"So what do you want from me, Helene? Why am I here? Do you want me to apologize for Rhian?"
"I never expected an apology from you. I would like to propose a peace offering."
Villanelle laughs now.
"So you hold a child hostage and force an old, fat man to kidnap us for the benefit of a peace offering?"
Villanelle thinks of Konstantin now. Hoping he made it out with Irina, and hoping he’s stuck here right along with them. A flood of contradicting emotions.
"Your promotion is still on the table, Villanelle." Helene says, breaking her train of thought.
"Oh, bullshit. I’ve seen where your promotion gets me. Blindly killing whoever has fucked you over that week. I’m not your puppet."
Take it back, she hears Eve’s voice in her head.
"Mhmm. Well, we have a new opening. How would you like to be Sri’s handler?"
Villanelle laughs and leans back in her chair. Amused.
"I need her handled properly. Trained properly. Who better than the infamous Villanelle?" Helene says, waving an enthusiastic hand towards Villanelle.
"Let me see you." Villanelle directs her voice towards Sri. "Stand and give me a slow 360." Villanelle says, slowly twirling a finger.
Sri begins to stand when Helene places her hand on hers and shakes her head.
"What? I want to see what I have to work with." Villanelle shrugs.
Sri stares daggers at Villanelle. Her hands clench and her knuckles whiten. Not well trained as of yet, Villanelle thinks. Her anger seeps through her too easily.
"Would you like to see what she can do instead?" Helene says, tapping her chin thoughtfully as she looks to Eve and smiles. Villanelle knows where this is going.
"Really? I see Eve getting a few hits in. You’re better than that though, Helene. Give Sri a fair fight." Villanelle says, raising her eyebrows to give meaning to her comment.
"Oh, she wouldn’t stand a chance against the old Villanelle. This Villanelle, though. She is sloppy. Soft."
"Would you like to test that theory?" Villanelle asks, cocking her head slightly to one side.
"You are a child playing in a very adult world here, Villanelle. I don’t think you understand the consequences."
"And what are those consequences?" Villanelle asks innocently, already knowing the answer. Villanelle can play for a bit longer. And honestly, Villanelle has missed this back and forth with someone. A conversation that fights for dominance.
"Tsk. Now, Villanelle. I know you aren’t stupid. You know what those will be."
"Will you send someone else to do your dirty work as usual then?" Villanelle asks, leaning her elbows against the table.
"Do you know who I am, Villanelle?"
"The bane of my existence?"
"Always such a smart ass. I was once like you. A lowly assassin. Doing others bidding. Making money, bouncing from country to country, living in luxury, a different lover every night. A spoiled brat. But the best at what I did. No one could compete with that."
"A lot of that felt like you were complimenting me." Villanelle says with a smirk.
"And do you know what I do now, Villanelle? I retire lowly assassins. I was surprised to be given you. Such an early retirement. 27, beautiful, smart, strong. But in crisis. Sloppy. Distracted."
"And I’m guessing Samantha helps with that? So you don’t get your hands dirty?" Villanelle says, waving towards a visibly seething Sri.
"It’s Sri." Sri says coldly, correcting Villanelle.
"And do you know what retire is referring to in this case, Villanelle?"
"I do. And who retires you, Helene?"
Helene leans back in her chair and studies Villanelle. Their silence lingers and their eyes never break from one another.
"What are our options?" Eve asks, breaking their silence.
"Our options?" Helene asks with a smirk.
"Yes. Our options." Eve says slowly, waving a finger between her and Villanelle.
"Mhmm. We are a package deal." Villanelle says.
Helene leans forward. Her eyes burning into Eve’s now.
"I really hoped Dasha’s attempt at killing your husband would’ve gone as planned, and not just as a failed attempt."
"Fuck you." Eve says leaning forward to meet Helene’s body language.
Villanelle moves to grab Eve’s hand that rests on her thigh and squeezes it. Dont, she thinks.
"But you know Villanelle too well, don’t you? You knew she would never touch him. But she shot you and left you for dead? How does that settle in you?"
"And I stabbed her, leaving her for dead. It settles fine." Eve says, unflinchingly.
"Mhmm. And if your option were to be one of you leaves here and the other one doesn’t? How does that settle?" Helene asks, eyes darting between the both of them now.
"It doesn’t." Villanelle says, intertwining her fingers with Eve’s under the table.
"Tsk. I knew as much. Well, we can’t have that." Helene says.
Helene stands and Eve's grip in Villanelle's hand tightens when she does so.
Helene saunters over to them, running her hand across Villanelle's shoulders as she stops behind Villanelle.
"Tsk. It’s a shame really. You are so beautiful." Helene says, running her fingers across Villanelle's cheek tenderly.
"So much potential." Helene leans down to whisper in Villanelle’s ear.
Villanelle clenches her teeth and holds her breath. It's making her sick. She wants to jump up. She could toss Helene so easily. But she feels Eve's presence beside her and Eve's fingers intertwined with hers, and tries still her body and mind. Take it back, she hears Eve's voice again. Don't ever let them take that away from you.
Helene wraps Villanelle’s head gently in her arms and pulls her head close.
It’s much like her touch from before. Months ago. Much like that touch. Gentle, comforting. At first.
Villanelle remembers crying when Helene wrapped her head in her arms and brought Villanelle to her side.
Now, a strong, thin hand suddenly grips Villanelle's throat from behind and squeezes. Nails digging into her skin. Villanelle's whole body tenses. She can breathe, but she knows it wouldn’t take much for that to become difficult. It takes everything in her not to spring up. To not snap Helene's wrist. And Helene knows she won’t. Because that puts Eve in danger. Helene is leashing Villanelle. Making a puppet out of her. Letting her know who has the reigns here.
"You will get bored of how weak she is." Helene says through gritted teeth.
Villanelle feels Eve’s strength beside her. There is no weakness there. A strangled whimper rolls out of Eve’s throat. She tugs Eve’s hand and body down with it when she senses Eve move to stand. Don't move, Villanelle thinks.
Villanelle instinctively throws a hand over Helene's at her throat but doesn’t try to pry it off. Eve unlocks their intertwined fingers to grip Villanelle's thigh. She grounds Villanelle with her touch. Villanelle knows if she moves, this could go badly. For the both of them.
But it is Eve that springs up.
"Don't fucking touch her!" Eve grabs Helene’s wrist and pries it off of Villanelle with surprising strength. And Helene is just as shocked. Underestimated yet again, Villanelle thinks.
As soon as Eve twists at Helene’s wrist, Sri is up from her seat.
"Oi! Let go!" Sri yells, gun pointed at Eve.
There’s a loud crack that echos from far away.
So far away it could be the sound of a tree snapping in the distance.
And then Villanelle feels it.
A warm spray across her face.
Chapter 27: Well then, what are we waiting for?
And here it is.
Warning - graphic violence
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
A crack. A spray of warmth. The sound of glass shattering.
Villanelle tries to blink away the spots that stain her eyes. All she feels and sees drips.
Villanelle feels a warmth at her lips and darts a tongue out to taste it. She knows that taste. Metallic. Blood.
As if in slow motion, Villanelle’s vision starts to clear and her surroundings come into view.
Glass is strewn throughout their entire space. The windows that line the far wall of the room crack and spider out from a massive hole found in its center. Sri is slumped over the table at her waist. Arms splayed out and across as if she’s reaching out for Villanelle. Her gun just out of reach from her lifeless fingertips. Shards of glass stick out of her back like shrapnel. Blood pools beneath the gaping hole through the back her shoulder. Where her heart used to beat.
Villanelle hears a muffled scream to her right. She barely registers that she’s being touched. Her body grabbed at.
Eve is pulling Villanelle's face to her, wiping at it. Smearing blood across her cheeks and forehead as she tries to clean Villanelle of it.
Eve’s shaking hands run over Villanelle's body. Small pieces of glass rain off of Villanelle as Eve brushes at her chest and shoulders.
Eve’s face comes fully into focus. She's speaking to Villanelle, but Villanelle hears only the muffled echoes of her voice.
Eve's dark eyes twitch as they move over Villanelle with frantic speed. Splatters of blood paint Eve’s left cheek, but she is physically unharmed.
All senses become heightened. Instincts kick in and Villanelle’s body moves of its own accord. To do what she knows best.
Villanelle grabs Eve by the back of the neck and pushes her forcefully under the table to shield her. From whatever threat still exists.
Villanelle hears a soft gasp behind her.
Villanelle’s eyes dart back just as Helene lays her hand on the door handle.
Not so fast, Villanelle thinks.
Villanelle closes the distance between them in a quick step forward. She snatches Helene’s wrist and twists, forcefully ripping Helene back from the door. Helene falls into Villanelle’s waiting, open hands. Her hands twitch and itch with anticipation. I have been waiting for this, Villanelle thinks.
Villanelle’s hands wrap tight around Helene’s neck. Squeeze. Thumbs digging in. Fingernails ripping flesh beneath them with the force and strength Villanelle’s anger gives her. Villanelle uses Helene’s neck to balance herself, walking them to the wall, leaning her weight into Helene as her feet lift from the floor and dangle above Villanelle’s.
“Fuck you.” Villanelle says through gritted teeth as her thumbs press into Helene’s neck.
A familiar feeling. She feels the crepitus of Helene’s bone under her thumbs. Her bone is fracturing slowly, splintering beneath her grip. Villanelle’s anger ripples deep through her as trickles of Helene’s warm blood starts to seep underneath her fingernails.
A familiar rush. A crazed smile curls at Villanelle’s lips. Villanelle’s breath comes shakily, a strained breathy chuckle rumbles in her chest as Helene’s breath starts to leave her. Helene grasps wildly around her. For anything. But she finds nothing but wall. Her hands fly to the only thing she can reach. The only thing she can feel. Villanelle’s strong, unmoving hands. She weakly rakes her fingernails down Villanelle’s skin, leaving only surface scratches along their path. But Villanelle doesn’t feel it. She only feels the life she holds in her hands. The life that is slipping through her fingers as her grip remains unwavering.
Villanelle’s first professional kill enters her mind as one of her last kills nears completion. Professional is a loose term for her first kill. She chose to fuck, eat, drink, and sleep the day before. Her first kill was sloppy. Her mark had fought back. In earnest. She had to improvise. She had to get creative. And when it was done, she was left bruised, battered, beaten, yet elated. Exhilarated. She was finally alive.
Villanelle is jolted when she feels Eve’s hand on hers. She keeps her grip steady as Helene’s legs jerk against her thighs. She looks at Eve now. Her gaze is pulled to Eve’s hand on hers. Her ring. The ring Villanelle gave her. It’s blinding. She doesn’t want Eve to see her this way. Her grip starts to loosen just a bit. I must stop, Villanelle thinks.
And it's as if Eve reads her mind.
“Don’t stop.” Eve says softly.
Villanelle’s breath hitches in her throat at her words. Renewed strength and determination with just a touch.
With barely a thought, Villanelle tightens her grip fully again, forcing the remaining air out of Helene’s lungs in a gasped rush. Eve’s hand lays still on Villanelle’s as Helene’s neck goes limp and falls to rest over one side of Villanelle’s grip.
Helene’s legs slow their jerking and become still.
Villanelle closes her eyes as Eve cups her cheek. She leans her head into the touch. Hands tight and cramping from her vice-like grip. Her breathing ragged, shallow, fast.
“Let go.” Eve says.
Brushing her thumb across Villanelle’s cheek. Her other hand gently pries at each of Villanelle’s fingers to loosen their grip. Villanelle’s fingers start to relax at the touch.
“Let go, Villanelle.” Eve says softly.
Villanelle’s eyes flutter open and meet Eve’s. A feeling rushes over her. A feeling that seems out of reach. Villanelle’s eyes never move from Eve’s as Helene’s lifeless body slides from her hands and slumps to the ground at their feet.
Villanelle is gasping. Her eyes wildly searching Eve’s face. For disgust. For fear. For panic. But Eve looks at her with such love. Such understanding. Her touch gentle against Villanelle. Even while she strangled the life out of someone. Her touch remained gentle.
“It’s okay. Breathe.”
Villanelle shakily sucks a rush of air into her lungs to try to steady her breathing.
Eve pulls Villanelle into her. Wraps her arms around Villanelle's waist. Eve breathes deeply, calmly and Villanelle tries to mimic her to steady her breathing.
Her hands shake violently as she hangs her arms limply at her side. Allowing Eve to touch. But she shouldn't reciprocate right now. Villanelle doesn't know what her body might do.
Eve’s body against hers, her touch, is firing on every nerve ending. Sending goosebumps down every inch of her skin. A familiar feeling. Villanelle loves this feeling. Villanelle hates this feeling.
She wants to take Eve here. Bent over the conference room table. She wants to take what she deserves. What she needs. What she wants. Fistfuls of hair, wet warmth in-between her fingers, thrusting, taking, pushing, and pulling. Surrounded by death and life all at once.
But then she hears it.
“I love you.”
Just a whisper as Eve wraps her arms tighter around her waist.
All she used to want disappears. All she used to take, replaced with only giving. Protecting. A different kind of want. A different kind of lust and need.
“I love you.” Villanelle whispers back, closing her eyes and wrapping her hands in Eve's hair. Anchoring herself to what matters most.
They remain like this for only a moment. In the silence after destruction. Only the sound of their breathing. Only the sound of their vitality lingers around them.
Silence is broken by the sounds of distanced echoes. Feet, Villanelle thinks as her eyes snap open. Headed towards them.
Villanelle breaks loose from their embrace and rounds the table to grab the gun that lays by Sri’s hand. When she reaches Eve next to the door, the echoes sound closer.
As the echoes grow into the sharp tapping sound of feet, Villanelle presses a finger to her lips to signal Eve.
Quiet. Complete silence.
Villanelle wraps an arm around Eve and pushes her behind her back, shielding her with her own body. Eve’s side flush against the wall Villanelle had Helene pressed into moments before.
With the gun raised, they wait. Steady, Villanelle thinks. Arm steady. Finger on the trigger.
The sound of feet stop outside of the door and a loud, rapping knock is heard.
“Everything alright in there, ma’am?” The man’s voice sounds shaky.
Villanelle holds the gun still. Arm and elbow locked into place. Her left hand solid and pressing into Eve’s side to hold her flush against the wall and behind Villanelle. Helene’s lifeless body at their feet.
“We’re coming in!” The man calls.
Shit. How many of them?
The door opens slowly, and Villanelle can sense that they’ve stepped into the room. The direction the door opens blocks Villanelle and Eve as they press tight to the wall behind it. Helene lays dead just below them, also blocked from view.
Villanelle can’t see them. But she feels them. She hears them.
“Jesus.” One of them mutters as they see Sri’s body and the debris scattered about the room.
Before the men can even process that three of them are missing, Villanelle side steps over Helene’s body and from behind the cover of the door, coming into view, two men in her sight. There is barely a register of shock on their faces before Villanelle fires off two rounds in quick succession, dropping them.
Eve makes a move to step around Villanelle and over Helene’s body, but Villanelle holds her tight and steady to the wall.
“Listen.” Villanelle says, willing Eve to use her senses.
Villanelle listens to the silence for a beat. Listening for any impending danger. Footsteps, breathing, any shift in their atmosphere. But she hears nothing.
“Stay behind me and don’t let go.” Villanelle says, moving her grip from Eve’s side to find her hand.
Eve steps over Helene’s body as Villanelle slowly pulls them out of the door and around the corner. They round into the long hall, hand in hand, Villanelle’s gun raised as they walk.
When they entered the building for the first time, Villanelle blueprinted the layout in her head. She knows their way out. But they need to go slow. They need to be as quiet as possible. Unsure of who else may be in the building.
She’s only seen a handful of people, besides Eve and herself, and most of them are dead in the other room. Other than that, she had seen and heard no one previously. I hope that’s still the case, Villanelle thinks.
She sees a dim light from the front door splay across the hall tiles to their right. She stops them before rounding the corner that leads to their exit. And she listens.
Nothing still. Surely there are more of them, Villanelle thinks.
The glass front doors are just ahead. And she sees it. The van still parked by the curb.
She tugs at Eve’s hand to move them forward, rounding the corner as the dimming light from outside dances on their blood-soaked clothes and skin. It pulls Villanelle forward. Like a magnet.
“The van. It’s still here.” Eve says as she lays her eyes on it. She squeezes Villanelle’s hand with reassurance. And Villanelle squeezes back.
The building is quiet. Still. There is absolutely no one here, Villanelle thinks. They may actually leave here alive. Together.
Villanelle has always considered herself to be prone to bad luck. Tied indefinitely to it. Maybe luck has finally smiled upon her. And when she feels Eve’s hand in hers, she understands why.
Eve is the light that smothers the dark. Extinguishing. Unraveling all that was Villanelle.
When they reach the front doors, Villanelle turns to Eve.
“I’m going to go first. Take this. If you hear anything, see anything, use it.” Villanelle says as she presses the gun into Eve’s hands.
“What if someone is outside? What if you need it?”
“I’ll be fine. If our bags are still in the trunk, I’ll have a gun.” Villanelle says, willing this to be true.
“Hopefully Konstantin makes it a habit to leave the keys in the car.”
“If not I can start it manually.” Villanelle says nonchalantly, darting her eyes to the van and its surroundings.
“You know how to hotwire a car?” Eve asks innocently.
“Is that what you call it?” Villanelle laughs and turns back to face Eve. “Yes, Eve. I can hotwire a car.”
Before Villanelle could place her hand on the handle of the front door, Eve takes a fistful of the front of Villanelle’s jacket and crashes their lips together.
It takes Villanelle by surprise. but soon she’s reciprocating in earnest.
With Eve’s lips on hers, she feels that familiar feeling. The excitement after a kill. It ripples through her slowly, starting from the tips of her toes. She loses all of her senses besides the feel of Eve’s lips on hers.
After a brief moment, Eve pulls away laughing.
“What's so funny?” Villanelle asks, her eyes fluttering open. And then realizes how her body reacted.
Her hands have traveled upwards and underneath Eve’s shirt.
“Oh my. Someone’s excited.” Eve chuckles breathlessly.
Villanelle’s hands retreat as a wave of disgust and shame wash over her.
And Eve senses it. She senses the shift.
“Stop, Villanelle. I’m excited too. Don’t overthink it.”
“I’m excited because of the killing, Eve.”
“I know. I am too.”
“What?” Villanelle asks incredulously.
“I don’t know why it happens. I’ve watched you kill before, and I had the same excitement then as I do now. Of course, I was usually frightened shortly thereafter.”
“It doesn’t scare you now?” Villanelle asks.
“Not anymore, no.” Eve says as she places her free hand over Villanelle’s chest. “Because I know you and your heart.”
Villanelle presses her forehead to Eve’s.
“Mhmm. Let’s get the hell out of here, Villanelle.” Eve says with a soft smile at her lips.
“Lets.” Villanelle says, kissing Eve quickly and turning towards the front door. “Stay here. I’ll let you know when it’s safe to come.”
Villanelle takes one last look at Eve, pulls the front door open, and sprints towards the van.
As she runs, she scans her environment and sees nothing but trees. Some buildings off in the distance. Land. No cars. No people. No threats. This is too easy, she thinks.
When she reaches the van, she finds their bags still in the trunk. There is a god.
Plus another bag. Not one of their bags. She unzips it slowly to peer in. Money. Stacks of bills. The car keys and a small, folded piece of white paper on top. Konstantin, she thinks. Bless you, you old, fat man.
She grabs the keys, slings the bag over her shoulder, unzips one of their bags, grabs a gun, and slams the trunk.
Thumbs up to a waiting Eve and Eve is running towards her.
The van rumbles to life when Villanelle starts it and Eve is soon jumping in the passenger seat.
“What’s this?” Eve asks as she buckles in, places the gun on the dashboard, and sees the black bag at her feet.
“Money.” Villanelle says, eyes on the road.
“Konstantin?” Eve asks as Villanelle swings out into the main road.
“There’s a note.” Villanelle says, briefly glancing down at the bag.
Eve opens the bag and runs her fingertips over the stacks of bills surrounding the small white piece of paper.
“Read it to me?” Villanelle asks.
Eve opens the folded piece of paper gently and reads to Villanelle as she drives them to safety.
“Villanelle, I hope this helps. It was better that you didn’t know the entirety of our situation. You’re too stubborn. You owe thanks to MI6 as well. You know I was never a good shot. Find me when you are ready to talk. I would like to share a proper drink with you. Family is what you make it, Villanelle. Remember that. Konstantin”
Villanelle’s knuckles go white gripping the steering wheel. Tears sting her eyes and part the splatters of blood on her cheeks with their trail.
Eve’s hand finds one of Villanelle’s on the steering wheel and pulls it into hers, locks them together, fingers intertwined. Eve kisses the back of Villanelle’s hand and rests their hands on the center console. Together.
They look out to an open road ahead of them. The sun is almost beneath the horizon. The dark blues, greens, and oranges look heavy as the sun sinks to rest.
Family is what you make it.
Villanelle has finally come to that realization. After years of feeling lost. After years of feeling abandoned, shamed.
And then there was Eve. Her hand grasping onto hers so tight.
Falling in love with Eve had been so easy. Even before love, Eve felt familiar. Like home.
Eve is her home.
“What a dick.” Eve says sarcastically, breaking their silence.
Villanelle chokes out a laugh. Bloodstained tears rolling off of her chin.
“Yeah. What an asshole.”
Eve squeezes her hand. A reassuring touch.
“Enough money to buy our house in Spain, you think?” Eve asks.
Villanelle takes her eyes off of the road in front of them briefly. Eve is staring at her free hand. Her thumb brushes against the underside of her ring as she finds Villanelle’s eyes.
A look of hope. Anticipation. Love.
“Well then, what are we waiting for?”
Thank you for all of the lovely comments.
Let me know what you think of this ending for our beautiful characters.
They deserved it <3
Chapter 28: Epilogue, Part 1 of 2
3 months later...
Of course, leave me a comment to let me know what you think :)
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Eve yells as she steps in the front door of their home.
Their home, Eve thinks.
The last 3 months had been a whirlwind. Seeking refuge and peace in a new country. Purchasing a home together. Learning how to live with one another. Another adventure. Everything feels like an adventure with Villanelle.
Eve let Villanelle take the reigns when it came to the house. She had much better taste than Eve. Furniture, painting, and decorating were Villanelle’s territory.
Furniture shopping with Villanelle was an experience that Eve never imagined that she’d be a part of. She’s glad that she was. Villanelle touched everything, sat on and in everything she appropriately could, asked too many questions, talked passionately and dramatically using her hands while she attempted to educate Eve on what the definition of good taste looked like. By the time they had their house furnished, decorated, and painted, Eve still knew nothing. But, god, if their house didn’t look and feel perfect.
It was small, cozy, warm. It smelled like Villanelle and the ocean. Every time she opened the front door, Eve knew she belonged.
Eve’s only met with silence. She sets her keys down on the entryway hutch and carries their dinner towards their kitchen.
“Villanelle, I swear to god. I don’t like it when you jump out at me.” Eve says, her voice wavering embarrassingly.
Eve walks towards the kitchen softly, trying not to make any noise, popping around corners, waiting for Villanelle to spring out at any moment.
Villanelle had developed a new habit. Hiding from Eve. Jumping out at her from around corners, behind doors.
Eve hates it. But the look on Villanelle’s face when Eve jumps in fright is worth it. She laughs until she cries. The corners of her eyes wrinkle, her nose scrunches up, dimples form in her cheeks when she laughs. Worth it.
But she makes it up to Eve every time. In the shower, on the kitchen counter, on the couch, outside on their balcony with the sound of waves lapping at the shore, against a wall when she can’t make it to their bedroom. And every time feels like the first time.
And when they fight, it’s passionate. Intense. Over small things. Usually over how messy Villanelle is. She leaves dirty dishes in the sink, her clothes strewn all over the house, dirty or clean. She leaves makeup on the bathroom counters. Globs of toothpaste in the sink. The last time Eve brought up the issue of her clothes, the next day, Eve came home to find every article of clothing that Villanelle owned strewn about the house. Villanelle grinned the entire time Eve yelled at her. And when Eve got tired of yelling, Villanelle pulled her close.
“I love it when we yell at each other.”
And when Villanelle made it up to her on top of a pile of her clothes in their bedroom, Eve decided she liked it too.
When Eve reaches the kitchen, she sets their takeout down on the island.
Villanelle is also a phenomenal cook. Almost every night, Villanelle tries something new. Eve sometimes finds Villanelle researching new recipes on her phone. Recipes she knows Eve will like. Thoughtful and sweet. And when she cooks, she tries to hide it, but she dances when she moves around the kitchen. It’s almost unnoticeable. Very subtle. Eve has brought it up many times, but Villanelle always denies it. She’s still a terrible baker, so Eve treats her to that every weekend. And the way Villanelle moans when she takes the first bite, and tells Eve, mouth full, how good it is, worth it.
The faint hum of something comes from their living room. Eve moves hesitantly but is clumsy and far too loud.
“Stop being a baby and come in here, Eve.” Villanelle laughs, her voice coming from up ahead.
When Eve steps into their common room, the breath she was unaware she was holding rushes out of her and her hand flies to her chest.
Villanelle has candles lit around the room. Music plays from Villanelle’s phone. Familiar music, Eve thinks. She can’t place it, but it feels like home.
“Hi, Eve.” Villanelle says, an annoyingly beautiful grin on her face.
“Jesus, Villanelle.” Eve breathes out with relief.
“You were scared?” Villanelle laughs.
“Of course I was scared.” Eve says, glaring knowingly at Villanelle.
Eve takes a look around the room again and feels Villanelle’s gaze follow her.
“Do you like it?”
Eve wordlessly strides towards Villanelle and pulls at the lapels of her jacket when she reaches her, catching Villanelle’s lips with hers.
Villanelle moans when Eve presses her tongue against hers. Every time feels like the first time.
“Oh my, she likes it.” Villanelle laughs as she pulls from Eve.
“Mhmm. I do.” Eve breathes, moving her lips to Villanelle’s neck.
Villanelle’s hands catch her face and bring it back to hers. “Tsk. Not so fast, Eve. How was work?”
A month ago, Villanelle and Eve lay in bed, bodies tangled together. Warm and cozy. Safe. But Eve felt restless. She missed having a job. They didn’t need the money necessarily, but Eve has always enjoyed having a job. Villanelle didn’t like the idea at first. Only because that meant she and Eve couldn’t lock themselves in their home making love all day anymore. When Eve explained exactly how she felt, Villanelle wrapped her tight to her chest and gave in. They would have their nights and weekends, Villanelle said. And their mornings before Eve left for work. And Eve’s lunch breaks, where Villanelle would sometimes make an appearance, dragging Eve into any empty room or secluded area she could find.
And when Eve asked Villanelle if she wanted something to do, something that she’s good at or misses, Villanelle smiled and said - “I’m quite good at this, don’t you think?” Pulling Eve’s lips to hers and making her point.
“Boring. Uneventful. Perfect. How was your day at home as a kept woman?”
“You see it.” Villanelle says waving her hand around the room. “I have a surprise for you.” Villanelle says, tapping a finger to Eve’s nose.
“Mhmm. Close your eyes, Eve.” Villanelle whispers into Eve’s ear.
Eve does so quickly. In anticipation and excitement.
Villanelle finds a way to surprise Eve every day. Literally and figuratively.
She stops by Eve’s work unexpectedly. Usually carrying a favorite food or coffee of Eve’s. And her coworkers can’t help but stare. At both of them. At how they move around one another. How they talk, laugh, and have trouble keeping their hands to themselves.
Eve got a job doing administrative work for a local law firm. It’s a small office. A handful of other coworkers. Eve likes it. She’s not a huge fan of the paperwork, but the organization and communication aspect of it, she loves.
Villanelle has been helping her with her Spanish every day. She’ll hold up or point to a random object around the house or when they are out and about, asking Eve to describe it to her in Spanish. When they go to restaurants, if Eve has trouble with the menu, Villanelle goes over it with her. Patiently. Explaining. She only picks on Eve sometimes. But when she does, the way she does it feels intimate. Like an inside joke. Between just the two of them.
Sometimes Eve will come home and find a bath run for her. Usually after Eve has texted Villanelle all day, complaining about work, about how long her day had been. About how she couldn’t wait to get home to her. Granted, Villanelle usually ends up joining her in the bath. But it makes every long day without her worth it. Wrapped up, her back to Villanelle’s chest, Villanelle pulling Eve closer, asking Eve to tell her about her day, both of them covered in warm water, Villanelle’s hands running over every inch of her.
Last week, Eve came home to find that Villanelle had turned their guest room into an office for her. Eve’s job sometimes required her to work briefly on the weekends. Eve missed having a home office and had mentioned it in passing. Villanelle had paid attention.
The music coming from Villanelle’s phone increases in volume. I know this song, Eve thinks. She just can’t place it. Eve feels Villanelle’s hands move up her arms. Villanelle lifts Eve’s arms to fit around her neck. And then she feels Villanelle’s hands at her waist.
“Okay. Open them.” Villanelle says softly.
Eve’s eyes flutter open and she sees Villanelle in front of her smiling.
“I just see you again.” Eve laughs.
“Lucky you.” Villanelle winks. “Do you remember this song?” Villanelle asks as she starts to sway with Eve.
She remembers. It comes to her. With Villanelle’s hands on her waist, the way she’s swaying with Eve. And Villanelle can see it in her eyes.
“It was the first time you touched me without flinching against my skin. It was the first time you looked at me without disgust or hatred in your eyes. It was the first time I understood that I knew absolutely nothing. And that was hard for me to admit.” Villanelle laughs.
Eve moves her hand to Villanelle’s cheek. A familiar touch. One that is theirs. Only theirs.
“It was the first time I actually saw you.” Eve says, cupping Villanelle’s cheek as they sway. Villanelle closes her eyes and leans into Eve’s palm.
She remembers seeing Villanelle. Back towards her while she sits. Intently watching others dance. Typical Villanelle attire. An incredibly bright, colorful, likely expensive suit. But when Villanelle turned to meet her eyes, she looked unlike herself. Sad, lost, timid. Not her usual confident, bright self. And when they danced, cheeks pressed together, eyes closed, Eve felt the shift in Villanelle. Through the hesitancy and gentleness of her touch.
“I’m glad you did.” Villanelle says with her eyes closed, pulling Eve’s waist closer and tighter to hers.
Eve wraps her arms around Villanelle’s neck again. Playing with the blonde wisps of baby hair on her neck as Villanelle sways them. She closes her eyes and feels safe. She hopes Villanelle feels the same in her arms.
Eve sometimes wakes to Villanelle upright in bed. Sweating. Eyes searching the room wildly. She dreams of her past. Not often. But often enough to shake her. And when Eve sits up with her, Villanelle reaches for her. Her eyes pleading with Eve. She’ll wrap Villanelle to her chest tightly, run her hands through her silky blonde hair, and remind her that she’s safe. Safe with her. Will always be safe with her.
“I thought you didn’t dance.” Eve says, leaning back to look at Villanelle.
“I do with you.” Villanelle says sweetly when her eyes open to meet Eve’s.
“Jesus, Villanelle.” Eve breathes out shakily.
“What?” Villanelle laughs.
“How do you do it?”
“Make me feel like I’m going to collapse when we touch. Still.”
Villanelle smiles softly and pulls Eve’s lips to hers. And it’s like their first time. Its soft, slow, sweet. As if they are getting to know one another. And when Villanelle pulls back, she whispers against Eve’s lips.
“And just think, we’re just getting started.”
Chapter 29: Epilogue, Part 2 of 2
1 year later...
A lazy Saturday morning. The smell of coffee made Villanelle stir, reaching out to find Eve gone. She hated when Eve wasn’t within reach. But she heard movement in the kitchen.
“I hope you aren’t cooking, Eve.” Villanelle yells from their room, followed by an audible yawn.
“Piss off.” Eve yelled back. “Come in here.”
Villanelle laughed, stretched as her feet hit the ground, and padded down the hall to their kitchen.
“I made you coffee, dick.” Eve said when she heard Villanelle walk into the kitchen.
Villanelle steps behind her, laughing as she wraps her arms around Eve’s waist. She nudges Eve’s sleep mussed hair out of the way to kiss her neck.
Villanelle never thought she would have something like this. Never. She has always prided herself on having nice things, admiring them, collecting them. She kept her things safe, in mint condition. But with people, with someone’s feelings, she was nonchalant, reckless. She threw people away. Feelings were disposable. People themselves were disposable. But this, what she had with Eve, was something she never thought possible.
Eve was different. She’s never wanted or needed anything as she wants and needs Eve. She wants to keep Eve safe. Her feelings hold priority. She doesn’t hold Eve as a prize to be won or paraded. She doesn’t possess her, unless Eve asks her to do so. She’s never held something as precious as Eve. So, Villanelle keeps her touch gentle and giving, unless Eve wants different. In which she tells Villanelle.
And Eve reciprocates. Gentle and giving with her touches, unless Villanelle asks differently. She’s protective of Villanelle. Holds Villanelle’s feelings and happiness priority. Villanelle’s never had anyone care about how she felt, about how her day went, about what she wants or needs. And it could be overwhelming. Villanelle doubted herself often. Eve always sensed it, and put a stop to it. She taught Villanelle how to be confident in their relationship. To work for it. To embrace everything that comes with it. While Villanelle had always been confident in her previous life and job, confidence was hard to come by with something so foreign as a relationship. With someone she loved. Eve made this transition possible. She was patient, giving, kind. And she didn’t put up with Villanelle’s bullshit.
Eve pushed and challenged her as no one else had. She expected things of Villanelle. And Eve wanted Villanelle to expect things of her as well. To expect Eve to give just as much as she received. Eve made her want to be a better person. And, in turn, Villanelle became who she was meant to be. Who she’s always thought was impossible to be. Someone who always felt out of reach. And when Villanelle grasped at it and finally felt it within her hands, it felt foreign, until Eve’s hands were there to support. To ease the confusion and pain of not knowing who you were, who you really are, or who you are meant to be.
"Thank you for the coffee, Eve. Good morning." Villanelle says into Eve's hair.
Eve turns to face Villanelle, catching her lips with hers.
“How did you sleep?” Eve asks, moving her lips to Villanelle’s neck.
“Oh wow, you slept good.” Villanelle laughs as Eve moves her lips to graze Villanelle’s jaw.
Eve is a fan of morning sex. And Villanelle is a fan of Eve. A year into their relationship, and still, they still can’t keep their hands off of one another. And their weekends look like this. Tangled together. Lips and fingers dancing across each other's skin. And when Villanelle hoists Eve onto their kitchen counter, she thinks that their bed must be lonely. They can barely make it to the bedroom half of the time. And this was one of those times.
Even though Eve sometimes works on the weekends, she makes it short. She usually has something planned for them. The previous weekend, Eve came home from work on Friday with bikes for both of them. Villanelle had never been a bike person, but exploring their area on bikes the next day with Eve made her that person.
Eve was patient with her. When Villanelle couldn’t sleep, Eve stayed up with her. Even though she had to work the next morning. She would drag Villanelle to the couch, wrap them up tight, and put on a movie. Villanelle would usually fall asleep within minutes. She’d wake up, curled up on the couch, Eve’s head on her shoulder, her face buried in Eve’s hair. Safe.
Their biggest fight came when they talked about marriage. Neither of them wanted to get married again. Villanelle saying ‘again’ was a huge mistake. Villanelle had forgotten to divulge that information to Eve. Truly forgotten. Because it didn’t matter. Not like Eve did. And because it was so soon after Rome, Eve was especially upset. Eve slammed the front door on her way out. And when Eve came back hours later, tears in her eyes, having ignored Villanelle’s texts and calls, she wordlessly grabbed Villanelle and pulled her into their bedroom. She pushed Villanelle onto the bed and told her that after she was done, Villanelle wouldn’t be able to remember the other woman’s name. And after, when Eve asked about her again, Villanelle truthfully, honestly, and breathlessly said, “Who?”. Villanelle then realized that she really appreciated a jealous Eve.
Eve had to go into the office this weekend. She had promised Villanelle she’d be quick and that she had something planned for their afternoon. So, when Villanelle received a text from Eve telling her to meet her at the beach, their spot, Villanelle jumped to get ready.
A week after moving in, they were walking along the beach near their home. Hand in hand. The moon shining across the still ocean water. Soft waves lapping at the shore. The smell of the ocean and an ocean breeze lingering around them. Eve’s hair a messy, tangled, beautiful mess. And when Villanelle stopped them to tell Eve how lucky she felt, to be here with Eve, Eve pulled her closer to their secluded shore and showed Villanelle how lucky she felt as well. Their spot.
And today, when Villanelle found Eve in their spot, the ocean waves rougher than they were that night and made brighter by the sun, she found it to be their spot again for another reason.
Eve held a tiny figure in her arms. And when she handed it to Villanelle, the tears that ran down her cheeks were cleaned by soft licks.
“I thought we could name him Charles.” Eve said smirking, placing her hand on Villanelle’s cheek.
And Villanelle laughed. Eve had remembered.
She held this tiny being in her arms. His yellow hair blowing in the ocean breeze. His golden-brown eyes looking up at her like nothing else mattered. His tongue kissing the tears as they run happily down her face.
“He’s ours?” Villanelle asked, searching Eve's eyes.
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