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call it what you want.

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illicit affairs. clandestine meetings. stolen stares.




Just one more week before they finally graduate from U.A. It was just three years yet it felt as if it was longer than that. They went through so much, experienced the best and even the worst time of their lives. With lessons learned and bonds deepened,  they grown into the best upcoming heroes of their generation. 


"Izu-kun, look at this." Ochaco shown her phone to him, one arm wrapped around his. Three months into their third year, Ochaco took her chance and confessed to him. She said she doesn't want her youth and her first love to end with regrets. She was even prepared to be rejected but Izuku—moved by her courage and scared to make things awkward between them—didn't have the courage to turn her down. 


However, he did tell her not to expect much because aside from the fact that it will be his first relationship, he was also unsure of what he felt. But he was willing to try. He wanted to give the two of them a chance. Ochaco was beyond grateful about it and they have been dating since.


Even Izuku didn't expect them to continue the arrangement. He thought it would last for just a month or two given how lame he feel he was. But so far, he was doing a decent job at being a boyfriend. 


Izuku laughed at what Ochaco shown him. They're sitting at the common area with all the furnitures moved against the wall to provide a huge open space where they were all sitting. Aizawa gave them a permission to throw a party in celebration of their upcoming graduation. Mina and his friends took it upon their hands to create what they claim as the best pre-graduation party. They even had the post-graduation party planned out. 


"Guys! Let's play truth or dare!" Mina excitedly said showing a glass bottle. Their classmates began agreeing, forming a huge circle. 


"How original," Katsuki rolled his eyes. Izuku looked at the blond who was holding a red cup, settled between Kirishima and Kaminari. 


"You have better idea?" Mina challenged which just earned a grunt as a response. Through years, Katsuki had toned down that his friend were more confidently dancing around him. "Thought so." The lady cheerfully chirped. 


Izuku kept his eyes on him, taking careful sips from his own cup. Red eyes met his green ones. It's always like that. It was as if Katsuki had this radar in him that alerted him whenever Izuku was staring. Their eyes locked on each other for a minute before the blond raised his eyebrow. Izuku turned away. He can't win against him. Not when he's too afraid that people will notice those stolen stares that the two of them indulge in from time to time. 


Chugging his drink in one go, Izuku tried to push all the thoughts off his mind. A month after he started dated Ochaco, things between him and Katsuki took a 360 turned. In the first week of him officially announcing his relationship with the brunette, Katsuki barely spoke to him. It wasn't like they were close or speak with each other often but he knew, he could feel how the blond was avoiding him. 


After a month, Katsuki came to him knocking on his room past 10 in the evening. Izuku was surprised to see him considering the guy was big about getting a complete hours of sleep. 


"What's wrong?" Izuku remembered asking him upon closing the door of his room. Katsuki just settled himself on the edge of his bed. 


"Have you two kissed?" Katsuki looked up to him, asking blatantly. 


Izuku blinked at what he heard before turning heavily red sputtering explanations while waving his hands. "No! We haven't. She kissed me on my cheek though. I mean does that count? I mean... Augh, why are you asking this?" He buried his face on his palm.


"I see," Katsuki pushed himself to stand up. He bridged the distance between them. Without saying anything, he cupped his face with both hands and the next thing he knew was he was kissing him. 


Izuku can't even remember if he pushed him away or if he just kissed him back. And that's where everthing started. Midnight rendezvous, stolen stares, clandestine meetings, secretly holding each other's hands while they stood at the back of the class when they're out in the field. Intoxicating kisses after intense training. Messages sent and deleted afterwards. Cuddling behind closed doors when everyone was asleep. Sweet nothings whispered while he panted beneath the blond as he was fucking his brains out. Hickeys and bitemarks where no one can see. 


Mina spun the bottle again after Kaminari finished his dare which was give the ever stiff Iida a lap dance. Izuku was laughing hard while their classmates hoots and cheers with their phones up—recording every second of it. 


The bottle pointed at Katsuki who just growled. "Bakubabe!" Mina clapped her hands. "Truth or Dare? Don't be boring," That was her telling the guy to choose dare. 


Katsuki smirked, "I could play this shit game of yours. Dare." Izuku felt himself sucked in a deep breath. Katsuki wasn't someone who bothers with this kind of game. Maybe it's because they're graduating that he decides to play. He doesn't know what he was thinking but everyone was just happy about the guy cooperating for once. 


"Oh! I know! I have always been curious," Kaminari grinned "How about... kiss the person you like!" he added, shouting. There was silence as if everyone was waiting for an explosion they're too used hearing for being with Katsuki for three years. 


"Yeah, that's good!" Mina added after the waited explosion didn't come. 


"What if he doesn't have anyone he like?" Kirishima worriedly add, glancing at the blond next to him. Izuku clenched his fist tightly. Jealousy spreading on his chest. Everyone knew how Kirishima had this huge crush on Katsuki. Izuku knew it will happen, Katsuki was awesome. He was good at everything and him being so stubbornly determined will kept you hook on him. 


Mina shrugged, giving him a knowing look. "Well, he could just kiss who he thinks is hot." That's another thing that fuels his jealousy. Their squad seemed to be playing the matchmaker for the two. 


Izuku let out a bitter chuckle. He doesn't have the right to be fucking jealous when he was sitting there with his girlfriend hugging his arm. 


"Shut up. I have someone I like, alright?" Katsuki spoke and everyone just looked at him with wide eyes. Surprise at his admission. While Izuku kept his eyes on the ground. 


He has someone he like? Air seemingly left his chest. Izuku tried to keep himself composed, drilling the idea that he doesn't have the right to be jealous or even mad. 


Katsuki finished his cup then pushed himself to stand up. The next thing he knew was the blond pulled him up from his place. Izuku gasped as his lips pressed against Katsuki's. The blond placed his hand on the back of his head, clutching his green hair. He titled his head deepening the kiss and Izuku was swept that he found himself answering his sweet assualt. 


"Open your mouth, Zuku." He breathed, pulling away a little. He obeyed, parting his lips and that's all what Katsuki needed. Katsuki invaded his mouth with his tongue. Kissing him rather too intensely and too intimate for anyone to see. 


"Oh my god," Mina breathed, unbelieving. Izuku felt like he was doused with a bucket of ice cold water that he quickly pushed Katsuki. His eyes roamed around and saw shock in his every classmate's face. 


Izuku was about to march out when Katsuki grabbed his wrist, stopping him. "Izuku." He called. 


The greenette slapped his hand away. "Don't call me that." Not here, he wanted to add. Not after that. 


He clenched his jaws, his eyes meeting Ochaco's. She was just sitting there, stunned, with tears running down her cheeks. They have been dating for months and all they did was simple kiss on the cheeks or forehead. He never kissed her that way and never thought of doing it. Fuck, he cursed himself over and over. 


"Izuku," Katsuki reached for his hand again. 


"Why did you do that?" Izuku snapped at him, pushed to the edge. 


"Because you fucking told me you will break up with her yesterday!" Katsuki shouted back. "What the fuck happened, Izuku?" 


"I told you to give me time!"


"Fuck you! How much longer do you want me to wait?" Are they really going to spill their mess right there? In front of everyone? 


"I don't want to talk about this now. I'm leaving." 


"No, you're not! You have been running from this for too long. Aren't you fucking tired? Because I am! I am tired hiding. I am tired being contented with those secret stares, those secret meetings! And I am fucking tired of seeing you play boyfriend for some extra." 


"Katsuki," Izuku took a step backward. He didn't know that. He was also tired of doing those things, he wanted people to know about the two of them but his guilt had always tied him on his neck. 


Ochaco stood up, "How long have you two been doing this?" She was crying. Tsuyu was holding her, rubbing her back. 


"A month after you started dating." It was Katsuki who answered. 


"Izuku," Ochaco called making Izuku turn to look at her. Fuck, the guilt is killing him. His eyes started to sting, he's about to cry. "Why did you do this?" 


Before he could even start crying, Katsuki covered his eyes with his hand. The explosive teen, presses his body against Izuku's. "Don't look at her," He then made him turn. "I'm the one who went to him first." Izuku felt himself helplessly grabbed Katsuki's shirt. 


"Why would you even do that? Didn't you hate him?! What is wrong with you?" Ochaco was now screaming. "Is this another way to torment Izuku?" 


"Hate him?" Katsuki stepped forward, shielding Izuku. As if he needed to be protected from Ochaco. "I fucking love him. I love him since I was a fucking toddler." 


Izuku felt his breathing hitched at what he heard. Katsuki always whispered that to him while they were rolling on the sheets. Kissing and fucking like no tomorrow but it was different to hear it from him when they're not in bed. 


"I loved him first. I had him first. It was you who just came out of nowhere and felt like you knew him enough to even claim that you love him." His every word had a bite into it. It was as if everything that he kept deep inside his heart just flowed like a dam that burst open.


"Katsuki, stop." Izuku gasped. "Please stop." 


"No! You can't run away from this anymore, Izuku." 


A realization hit him, "You did this on purpose..." Katsuki didn't answer. "Why? Why would you do this?" 


"Because you have to choose, Izuku. I am done sharing. You fucking know I was never generous." Katsuki turned to him. 


Izuku let out a bitter chuckle, raking his hair. His eyes was on the floor. "And if I didn't choose you?" 


"You will choose me." There was a finality on his tone. He was so confident and it hurt Izuku. Because he was right. 


"What if I didn't?" Izuku looked up to him. "What if I didn't?"


"You will because you love me." Katsuki almost rolled his eyes. "You know it yourself, Izuku. You're not stupid. It wasn't just sex." Izuku flinched at the mention of sex. Great, now everyone knew he was cheating and even has the gall to have sex with his other lover. 


Izuku didn't say anything but he found himself throwing a punch against Katsuki. His fist connected with the latter's cheek pushing him away. One. Two. Three. He couldn't count it anymore. Katsuki didn't return any of it. By the end of it, he was breathing hard while Katsuki sported new bruises.


"Did that help?" Katsuki wiped his bleeding lips with the back of his hand. 


Something snapped in him. "You cornered me to this situation. I know I am also at fault here. I cheated on Ochaco and there's no excuse for that! You know what's worse? I feel guilty for hurting her and for hurting you because I dragged this for so long. But I don't fucking regret a single thing about the two of us! I love you more than you'd ever thought and I would do this over and over again."


At that point, he completely didn't care whoever heard him or whoever's there with them. 


"But you didn't need to do this! Just look at how messy this has been! I guess I deserve it... But still, Katsuki, why the hell would you do this? So you could prove that I will choose you? That it's you? You know that it's you! You know damn well for you I would fucking ruin myself for million little times!" Tears kept falling from his eyes. He doesn't know anymore. It felt like everything fell apart and he doesn't know where he'd begin picking up the pieces. And how he will pick it up without bleeding. 


Was this his karma? Maybe. He doesn't know. He doesn't even wanna think about it. 


Katsuki walked towards him, wrapping his arms around him as he pulled him into a tight hug. Izuku desperately held him. "Who cares about others. We have each other. That's enough."


"Izuku," Ochaco called. "I'll still take you. Make it up to me and choose me." Izuku stilled, gently pushing Katsuki away from him. The blond glared at the crying brunette.


"Ochaco!" Tsuyu protested next to her. 


"I don't care. I just want you with me." They began hearing protest from their classmates. Izuku was made aware again that they have been dragging everyone to their own problems. It almost comforted him that they only have a week left before finally leaving U.A. Then a week was still too long. "So please, choose me." 


"Stop it," Katsuki growled while Izuku walked his way to her. This time, he would reject her properly. Before he could even hold her hand and tell her everything in his head Katsuki stopped him. "Deku, get your ass back here." Izuku jolted, glancing at the blond behind him. "Now." 


Izuku turned to his supposedly girlfriend. "I'm sorry, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I promise." Well, his words aren't too credible now. He wondered if she believed him. 


Izuku walked back towards the blond who quickly wrapped his arm around him, kissing his temple. "Good." He then held his hand and pulled him away from everyone. Izuku could feel unpleasant emotions building in his chest as he heard them murmured while staring at their retreating backs. 


Katsuki made him look at him, "Focus on me, shitty nerd. Don't think of anyone else. Or anything else." Izuku gave a small smile, nodding. I should be the only one you should think about, Katsuki thought. The blond landed a soft kiss on his forehead as they entered the elevator. 


Katsuki stared at their classmates, a smirk stretched on his lips. His eyes glanced at the smaller guy next to him. That should separate him from them. Now he'll just have to find a way to completely severe the ties. 





× × × 


Author's Note



Uhhh hi. 
This is not how it's supposed to be but oh well. Anyway:  


• this is based on taylor swift's song titled illicit affair


• i am suddenly craving for a bkdk ntr fic so yeaaaahhh


but that ending, i didn't plan that lol. i just thought it will be fun to add. then, i thought of how younger katsuki made sure everyone turned against izuku so that he will be the only one there with.


• i posted this using phone will prolly edit tomorrow? idk that's why the tags are messed up. 


i want more bkdk ntr


Hope you enjoyed my first bkdk one shot lol.