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PS: I love you (maybe)

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It starts like this:

Beomgyu is tired . So tired that he barely even notices Soobin isn't in his bed when he climbs down from his bunk until he manages to trip over he and Kai sprawled across the floor of their living room.

He squints down in half awake confusion, the 2 of them sleeping without a care in the world. Hueningkai is somehow managing to cuddle both Soobin and a plushie at the same time, because apparently just one of those isn't enough for him. A few of his other toys are scattered around what appears to be Kai's blanket. 

It's cute, way too cute for him to deal with at 7 am.

"Gross," he grumbles, annoyed when they barely even stir at his near death experience. Maybe he's imagining it, but he swears Soobin just tugs Kai closer to his chest in his sleep protectively.

He should've stayed in bed.

He shakes his head, abandoning them for the kitchen, where Yeonjun looks just as terrible as he does nursing his coffee in his hands. He's sat on the counter, because they still don't actually have a kitchen table, and Beomgyu reaches around him to open the cabinet. 

"Hey," Yeonjun acknowledges him, his voice hoarse from sleep. He's wearing an oversized tee shirt that's slipping way too far down his shoulder, and Beomgyu steadily refuses to look at it. "Weren't invited to their slumber party, huh?"

He scoffs and stares into the cabinet at the empty shelves. "Did you pack yet?"

"Nope," Yeonjun admits. Same.

They really need to go grocery shopping. Well, someone else needs to go shopping. Without him. 

Ah well, they have a flight in the afternoon and then they're gone for 3 days. They can deal with it then.

"Wanna go out?" Yeonjun asks. "Taehyunie already left for the gym, so."

Beomgyu shoots him a horrified look. "Does he know what time it is? We are on vacation ." He would probably die for Taehyun, but honestly .

He shrugs helplessly. "You know how he is. Maybe he's hoping to run into Jungkook sunbaenim."

"Oh my God," Beomgyu says, and that idea wakes him up. "They can be gym buddies . Work-out Vlives!"

Yeonjun laughs, eyes squinting in amusement the cute way that Beomgyu is very weak to. 

He glances away, closing the cabinet door and turning to lean against the counter next to him. Yeonjun's knee knocks gently into his side. "So, Starbucks?" he asks. He should move, the kitchen isn't that small. 

He doesn't. 

" Please ," Yeonjun says, sounding slightly desperate. "I need coffee if I'm going to make it through today."

Beomgyu stares down at the half empty mug in his hand, eyebrows raised. "You already have some," he points out helpfully. Maybe he hasn't noticed.

Yeonjun looks down at his hands like he's forgotten its existence. "Oh. Well, I need decent coffee."

"Fair enough."


It's so early in the morning that it's probably safe to be out and about, but Beomgyu sticks a hat over his messy bed hair just to be cautious. He can't be recognized in public looking this hideous. 

Yeonjun seems to have the same idea, sunglasses on and black hoodie pulled over his head. He looks good regardless, he always does. He waves Beomgyu off to go find a table, and he settles in the corner, snorting to himself at how conspicuous Yeonjun looks standing in line.

Idol life is really something sometimes.

He pulls out his phone to kill time, slouching in his chair. He's halfway through the new game he's obsessed with when he glances up and realizes Yeonjun has somehow already managed to pick up 2 girls in line, disguise or not. He's flirting with them, of course he is, because he flirts with everyone

They aren't even that cute.

Beomgyu opens his phone camera discreetly and takes a photo, sending it to the group chat with a bunch of hearts and suppressing the giggle in his chest. Taehyun immediately replies with a gagging emoji.

He goes back to his game, occasionally side-eyeing Yeonjun, waiting for him to check his notifications. The girls finally leave with their coffee, and he pulls his phone out of his hoodie, making a face when he sees the message and shooting Beomgyu a death glare.

He smiles back innocently. Worth it.

Yeonjun is still pouty when he gets back to the table with their order. "Here I buy you breakfast like a nice hyung and this is how you repay me," he complains.

"Oops," Beomgyu says insincerely. "Thanks hyung ."

"Next time I'm bringing Ning instead," Yeonjun tells him, sliding his bagel and drink across the table. "He wouldn't betray me like this."

Beomgyu hums, unwrapping his straw. "Don't think he'll have time for you. You're stuck with me from now on."

"Ugh. I'm telling the managers I'm staying home."

"I'll bring you a souvenir back," he offers generously. "Maybe a nice keychain."

They're quiet for a while as Beomgyu munches on his bagel, both of them scrolling through their phones in comfortable silence.

"Try not to give them a hard time," Yeonjun says very much out of nowhere, setting his coffee down on the table.

"Who?" Beomgyu asks, playing dumb. He shoves the last bite into his mouth and crumples up the wrapper to throw away.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. It's barely visible through the tint of his sunglasses, but Beomgyu knows that face. He's the cause of it more often than not, though admittedly it's usually on purpose. "You know what I'm talking about."

Of course he does, no one in the universe is that oblivious.

Soobin's been in love with Hueningkai since he laid eyes on him. Beomgyu wasn't there when they met, but he's heard the story enough times to imagine. It's about time they got their act together.

"I know," he says finally instead, leaning across the table to try to swipe Yeonjun's muffin while he's distracted. He's still hungry. "But do they have to be so cute ? Did you see Soobin's Weverse post?"

"Brat." Yeonjun swats at his hand, and Beomgyu sits back in his chair in defeat. "Do you have to be so jealous ?"

Beomgyu's jaw drops at that. Being in the studio so much must have given him hearing problems. " Excuse me ?"

Yeonjun smirks at him over his iced Americano, tugging his muffin closer to safety on his side of the table. "I said what I said."

"And I must've misheard you, because I swear you just said I am jealous of Soobin and Hueningkai sleeping together on the hard ass floor ."

"You are." Yeonjun shrugs casually. "I get it. I'm jealous sometimes too. No one will ever love me that much."


And Beomgyu wants to correct him, tell him how wrong he is, but he keeps his mouth shut and sips his drink quietly.

He's not jealous.


They go back home to pack, because vacation or not, they are going to be on camera and should probably look halfway presentable.

Beomgyu stands in his section of the closet, arms crossed, staring at his clothes. He hasn't been to Jeju since he was a kid. Really, he hasn't been on any kind of vacation in years. He's excited, work trip or not.

No idea what to wear though. 

Yeonjun tugs a plaid shirt off a hanger next to him. "Wanna match?" he asks, waving it vaguely in his direction. It's the same shirt from years ago in Los Angeles. 

God, that feels like forever ago.

Beomgyu nods in agreement and grabs his own nearly identical flannel. Might as well, half their clothes look the same anyway. 

He throws a few more shirts into his suitcase, then Ryan, and zips it shut. They aren't going to be there that long, and if he runs out of clothes, he'll just steal Yeonjun's. No one will know the difference.


To give Hueningkai and Soobin some credit, they act totally normal during the trip to the airport and while boarding the plane. He wouldn't think anything has changed at all if he didn't know them, but they've been together for years now, the 5 of them, and he's not a complete idiot. The staff members take their seats during take off, cameras finally put away, and Beomgyu doesn't miss the way they immediately shyly intertwine their hands over the seat divider.

Damn Yeonjun and Taehyun for leaving him back here with them. He kicks the back of Yeonjun's seat in irritation but gets no reaction other than a bewildered glance from Soobin. Annoying. 

He sighs and sits back, watching Soobin hand over his right earbud to Hueningkai to share, mumbling to him about some song he's obsessed with. It's too much.

This is going to be a long flight.


He passes out at some point, waking up to Soobin gently shaking his arm and Yeonjun's phone in his face. 

"Cute," he coos at him, and Beomgyu drops his plush in his lap and tries to grab for his phone. His seat belt gets in the way, letting Yeonjun safely escape back to his seat.

"That better not end up on Weverse," he threatens.

"Depends how much you annoy me during this trip," Yeonjun says without turning around. 

Beomgyu turns to Soobin with a frown. "Do you hear this, leader? I am being blackmailed ."

Soobin shrugs halfheartedly, buckling his own seat belt for landing. "You know I can't control him. God knows I've tried."

He kicks Yeonjun's seat again, and this time he laughs. And people say he's the demon.


Jeju is beautiful , Beomgyu decides as they arrive at their hotel. He didn't appreciate it when he was younger, but after being in Seoul for so long, it's a dream come true.

Even Taehyun seems excited, hand pressed to the window of their van and eyes wide. They all tumble out as soon as the driver parks, bags in hand, Hueningkai shrieking slightly louder than usual.

It should be a good week. 

"I'm staying with Yeonjun," Beomgyu immediately volunteers as their manager heads off to the counter to check them in. He can't handle any more third wheeling today.

"Aw, you love me," Yeonjun says, throwing an arm over his shoulder. "So sweet, Beomie."

"I tolerate you," he corrects, and yet doesn't make a move to push him away. "Taehyunie? You with us?" 

Taehyun hesitates for a moment, eyeing the two of them, then Soobin and Kai. "I honestly don't know which is worse," he says flatly. "So sure, I guess."

Hey . What does that mean? Before he can protest, the cameras are back on and they're being handed their keycards. Yeonjun nudges him towards the elevator with his arm, and the moment is gone. 

They head up to their rooms, 2 adjoined doubles that aren't particularly noteworthy. He realized during their US showcase that hotels are pretty much the same wherever you go. Still, they're here , and Beomgyu can see the ocean when he pulls back the curtains, so he has no complaints.

Pretty .

Taehyun has already curled up on the bed closest to the door when he turns back around, so he tucks Ryan into the other to claim it, pulling the blankets up over him.

"You know, you joke Ning, but here I am sleeping with you and your stuffed animals," Yeonjun says dryly, setting his bag down next to him.

"This is a totally different situation," Beomgyu tells him. "Also, who says you can sleep with me?" 

"Can't I?" He raises his eyebrows in a way that has Beomgyu feeling… something. 

"Fine," he says a bit awkwardly, turning away to unpack his stuff. That footage will definitely have to be cut.


It's late by the time they've settled in and changed, but the crew wants to film something so the day isn't a total bust. They decide to go to a restaurant down the street for dinner. He's not sure what kind of quality content they're going to get here, but he is hungry, so whatever.

Beomgyu frowns down at his menu, the noise of the busy restaurant making it hard to think. So much seafood, so little that's actually edible.

Yeonjun leans into him, their bare arms brushing, and points at the cold noodles. "Let's get these, and I'll eat the shrimp." 

He nods, setting the menu down. Beomgyu's always down for some noodles. He's never said it (and never will, probably) but he's always been thankful to Yeonjun for never questioning his picky eating. 

Beomgyu discreetly bumps shoulders with him instead, the closest to a thanks that he's getting.


Once their plates are pushed aside, their manager lays out their plans for the next few days. 

There are options , surprisingly. Beomgyu didn't expect to have much freedom on this trip, being their very first, but apparently management trusts them or something.

"I wanna go fishing," Taehyun proclaims with a concerning level of enthusiasm, and both he and Yeonjun make a face.

"There is no way I'm touching a fish," Beomgyu says, and Hueningkai laughs so loud that half the restaurant turns to look at them. He claps a hand over his mouth as Taehyun shushes him.

"Yeah, I'm out," Yeonjun agrees. "Soobin?"

He shrugs. "I'll go with them. Might be fun."

"Uh huh," he says skeptically, lips twitching into a smile as Hueningkai leans over to rub Soobin's belly excitedly. He turns back to Beomgyu. "Looks like we're on our own. What do you wanna do?"


Yeonjun high-fives him. "And that's why you're my favorite. Enjoy your fish, Soobinie."


The staff dismisses them for the night, leaving them with a small camera to set up in their room, and they all pile onto Taehyun's bed back at the hotel. 

"Wanna watch a movie?" Beomgyu asks tiredly, holding back a yawn. He has his head pillowed on Taehyun's stomach and his feet thrown over Yeonjun's lap. It's pretty comfortable, and he has no intention of moving anytime soon.

Taehyun ruffles his hair, and he closes his eyes contently. "You're gonna be asleep in like 5 minutes."

"I won't," he argues, and yes, that's probably a lie. 

Yeonjun pokes his leg through a worn out hole in the knee of his jeans. "You say that, but I'm the one who's gonna have to haul your ass back to our bed tonight."

He lets out a whine. "But I wanna watch… Frozen 2."

There are cheers from Soobin and Kai's side of the bed, and Yeonjun groans. "Didn't you guys just watch that the other day?"

"That was a week ago," Beomgyu says indignantly. Maybe 5 days, but who's counting?

"God, fine , you giant nerds."


Beomgyu blinks his eyes open, face half smashed into the pillow and Ryan tucked safely in his arms. The sunlight is streaming through the tiny gap in their hotel curtains, waves crashing in the distance if he listens closely enough. 

It's nice.

"Oh," he mumbles to himself, and Yeonjun startles from where he's sitting up next to him on his phone. "I fell asleep."

Yeonjun snorts, looking back down at his screen. "You sure did."

He hums, closing his eyes again and rolling over onto his back. He really regrets falling asleep in his clothes. "Taehyunie?"

"Guess," Yeonjun says humorously.

"You've gotta be kidding me. Here ?"

"He went running on the beach or something. Actually, he asked me to go too, but I figured you'd be depressed waking up alone."

"Thanks hyung," Beomgyu says, with barely even any sarcasm underneath, reaching out in Yeonjun's general direction to pat him. He thinks he gets his chest, but he's too tired to look. Yeonjun is all toned muscle these days, so who knows.

There's a pause. "Stop being so cute," he complains, though he doesn't actually sound mad.

That's… weird. Beomgyu tilts his head and cracks an eye open to find Yeonjun staring down at him fondly. Oh. "No."

"You're such a brat."


Yeonjun makes a displeased noise, and both of their phones vibrate simultaneously. Beomgyu has no idea where his is, but good to know it's around somewhere. "Oh," he says. "We're meeting downstairs in 15 minutes."

Beomgyu just pulls the comforter over his head.