Steve isn’t really sure what he’s doing.
As in, like, he knows what he’s trying to do, but he’s pretty sure he’s not doing it right.
It’s just... hard to reach… and it kinda hurts… and this is not how it’s supposed to feel. The guys in the video Steve was watching made it look so good. But this just feels... awkward.
And of course, it's when Steve is two fingers deep into his own asshole, pants around his ankles, kneeling, head down on his unmade bed, that his roommate's effortlessly cool best friend just saunters right in without even knocking, and umm… yeah okay. Steve should have locked that.
‘What the fuck!’
They both yell at the same time.
Bucky (Steve remembers that’s how Sam introduced him - even if it doesn't sound like a real name) throws a hand over his eyes as Steve desperately tries to pull up his pants, and cover his dick, and get off the bed. But it’s too much all at once and he loses his balance and topples over and jesus, fuck. He’s on the floor.
‘Ohmygod, are you okay?’ Bucky asks, taking his hands away from his face to duck down and pointedly not put them anywhere near Steve.
‘Yeah! Yes!’ Steve shouts, holding his own hands over his dick, trying and failing to retain some dignity. He struggles to a kneeling position as Bucky wavers between offering him a hand to stand up and averting his eyes from Steve’s naked crotch.
‘Can I… Do you…’ Bucky’s stammering, and Steve honestly feels as embarrassed for himself as sorry for this poor guy, who had no idea he would be walking in on someone awkwardly attempting to finger themselves today.
‘I’m okay, I’m so sorry,’ Steve is trying to pull his pants up, but his belt is caught in his shoelaces, and why. Why did he try and do this on a whim, rushing before Sam was meant to be back from practise (he was supposed to have an hour, dammit!) and not even take his fucking shoes off!
‘It’s okay I should have knocked!’ Bucky is saying, covering his eyes with his hand again. Because Steve is still trying to get dressed. ‘I wasn’t thinking! I just walked right in!’ He seems to be getting a little panicked.
And Steve, absolute disaster of a human being, just forgets what he’s doing and stands to take a step forward and hover a comforting hand near the poor guy’s shoulder. ‘It’s okay, really, it’s not a big deal.’
And Bucky takes his hand away from his eyes to look up at Steve (who must only have about two inches on Bucky, but it’s still enough that he has to look up) and swallow nervously.
‘You… are taking this ridiculously well,’ Bucky says, licking his lips.
‘Well,’ Steve watches Bucky’s tongue trace across his bottom lip like that and his dick seems much more interested in the action than it was in having two fingers up his ass, ‘There’s not alot I can do about it now than hope it'll make a fun anecdote to tell at frat parties.’
‘Oh yeah?’ Bucky asks, and those lips quirk up at the corner, as he raises one perfect eyebrow. It’s the sexiest fucking thing Steve has ever seen.
‘Um, yeah.’ And Steve has fumbled his way to getting his jeans up most of the way, he’s holding a hand over the open fly framing his now very obvious erection, and pulling his too tight t-shirt back down to cover the rest with his other hand. ‘It was sort of a failed experiment anyway.’
Bucky’s eyebrow seems to lift even further at that admission and he takes a half step back to look Steve up and down. ‘Can I ask you something?’
Steve watches Bucky’s expression, and it’s open, there's nothing malicious there. Still his answer is a somewhat hesitant, ‘I guess?’
‘Have you ever done that before?’
‘Oh god,’ Steve laughs, ‘No never.’
‘What made you want to?’
‘Ah,’ and Steve’s not sure how truthful he really wants to be here. Does he really want to admit to a guy he barely knows that he’s just very curious about how it would feel to have sex with another guy?
Then again, this is college, and he’s meant to be experimenting, right? What does he have to lose?
‘I saw it in a video?’ he says finally, ‘And I wanted to know what it would feel like.’ He shrugs. Because really. That’s the god’s honest truth.
‘But you didn’t like it?’ Bucky asks. He’s looking at Steve with his head slightly tilted, his long hair in a loose bun kind of... tipping to the side.
‘To be honest,’ Steve admits, ‘I don’t think I was doing it right.’
‘Ah.’ And Bucky takes a step forward this time. Looks up at Steve with some pretty fucking gorgeous steel-blue eyes from under his lashes. ‘I could…’ he licks his lips again, and Steve physically can’t look away right now, ‘I could help you?’ he says, ‘I could show you?’
And oh Jesus Christ.
Could he fucking ever.
‘You could?’ Steve asks, his voice gone breathless, ‘You would?’
Bucky just nods his head.
‘Okay,’ Steve says, barely above a whisper, ‘Right now?’
Bucky nods again. He looks over at the unmade bed, the messed up sheets, and Steve follows his gaze, looks back to Bucky and sees him watching Steve with wide eyes and his lip between his teeth.
‘What should I do?’
'How clean are you?'
'How… huh?' Oh god, does he mean? 'I mean I did what the website told me to do in the shower, but that was a couple hours ago.' Which makes Bucky smile in a way that his eyes go all soft and its… distracting…
'Okay, that's okay, Steve,' Bucky says and then with a little hesitation, 'It's Steve, right?'
'Yeah, yes, Steve,' he rushes to agree, 'I remember you, Bucky.' They have met a few times now, briefly. And there was, every time, something about Bucky that made Steve feel like he wanted to see him more, he just couldn't put his finger on why.
He gets it now.
And Bucky is smiling, reaching for Steve’s forearm and directing him gently towards the bed.
‘How about first, you take off your shoes,’ Bucky says, smiling.
And yeah, okay. That’s fair.
Steve sits on the bed and Bucky sits down next to him as he reaches down and undoes his laces, toeing his shoes off and kicking them across to Sam’s side of the room.
‘And this, if that’s okay?’ Bucky says, reaching a finger into the neck of Steve’s t-shirt to pull at it.
Steve wastes no time ripping it over his head.
‘You too?’ he asks. And it comes out shaky, because fuck, he’s nervous, but he’d also really like to see every inch of Bucky’s bare skin up close.
Bucky smiles and nods, reaching down to pluck at the oversized jumper he's wearing and peel it off slowly. Underneath is a singlet with more holes than material, and Steve might be drooling (he swallows, to make sure he isn't) because underneath it, Bucky's skin is like smooth olive silk, and Steve can't help but reach out for it.
His hand hovers over the skin exposed by the threadbare wide scoop neck and he wants to touch, but he isn't sure if that's allowed.
'You can,' Bucky says, like he's reading Steve's mind, 'You can touch me.'
And given permission, Steve lets his fingers land gently over Bucky's collarbone, sharp under the warmth and softness of his skin. He closes his eyes to the sensation of having his hands on Bucky and opens them to find Bucky staring, his cheeks flushed with a pink glow.
'You're really beautiful,' Steve says without thinking (but it's absolutely true, his cheekbones alone have Steve in a tailspin), and Bucky ducks his head at the compliment.
'You too,' Bucky looks up through those lashes again, 'You're like, the hottest guy on campus.'
Steve's pretty sure that's not true, but he is somewhat aware that he looks more like the jocks on Sam's football team than the rest of his art history cohort. And, well… It's nice to hear. Especially from someone who Steve would really like to pin to the bed and bite into right now.
Instead, he slides as close to Bucky as he can get and snakes his hands up under the torn up singlet.
Bucky lifts his arms so Steve can slide it right up and off, tossing it onto the floor and running his hands up all the gloriously exposed skin. So soft and lush, not like Steve's hard muscles, but still firm. Different from what Steve's used to, but so fucking perfect.
'Fucking gorgeous,' He says under his breath, and Bucky again bites into his bottom lip. Steve is having trouble breathing. But Bucky has a goal in mind. And he isn’t about to let Steve’s lack of focus drift him from it.
‘Lie back, is that okay?’
Steve just nods and does as he’s asked. He lies back slowly and then slides up, pushing with his hands, to lay lengthways on the king single.
Bucky stays sitting but turns to face him on the bed, lifting one leg up to tuck under his knee.
'Do you have lube, Steve?' Bucky asks.
'Yeah,' Steve rolls over to reach for it off the bedside table and passes it to Bucky, 'I don't know if it's any good though,' he'd just panic-grabbed the first bottle he found on the shelf.
'It's okay,' Bucky says, turning to look at the label, 'I've got some better stuff in my room, but this will do for now.'
Which is… does that mean… Steve doesn’t want to get too far ahead of himself. But the idea that they might do this, whatever it is they’re doing, more than once, makes something warm and comfortable unfurl in his gut. ‘Okay,’ is all he can manage in reply.
‘Good.’ Bucky moves closer and pushes Steve back down so that he’s flat on his back. ‘So if we were gonna use anything more than fingers, I’d get you on all fours for your first few times, but it might be nicer, given we don’t know each other that well, for us to do this face to face.’
And Steve just nods, cause yeah, although the image of himself on all fours with Bucky behind him has a certain appeal, he’s still nervous, and being able to look Bucky in the eye, being able to see that sweet smile, those gorgeous eyes, is keeping him grounded right now.
‘And if anything starts to feel weird, or you don’t like it, or you just want me to stop for any reason, you just let me know okay?’
‘Okay,’ Steve says, though at this point, he’s pretty sure he’s going to be begging for Bucky to just get started.
‘Good, good,’ Bucky says, nodding and reaching out a hand to run his fingers down Steve’s stomach and towards the open pants that are just barely covering his dick, ‘And Steve?’
‘You’re definitely sure you wanna do this?’
‘Definitely’ Steve says, no hesitation whatsoever, ‘I do, I really do.’
‘Can I take these off?’ Bucky asks, taking hold of the waistband of Steve’s jeans.
Steve nods, pretty emphatically, that yes, Bucky should go ahead and take them off.
Which Bucky does. Gently gliding them down Steve’s legs. The jeans are kind of tight, and Steve’s thighs are kind of thick, but Bucky is more graceful than he has a right to be. And then he’s tossing them over to the waiting pile of their clothes on the floor at the foot of the bed.
Steve is totally naked, lying next to an almost stranger and doesn't quite know what to do with his hands. He wants to reach out for Bucky again, but he feels vulnerable. He feels displayed. It's not necessarily unpleasant. Just… new.
‘I want you to bring your knees up for me,’ Bucky asks, ‘Tuck them right up against your chest if you can.’ And Steve hurries to comply, happy to have directions, spreading his thighs and pulling them flush to either side of his torso. He may be an art history major, but he’s taken a few dance classes in his time. And it’s ridiculously gratifying when Bucky’s eyes light up at the demonstration of Steve’s flexibility.
‘You can um… you can relax them a little, that’s okay.’
So Steve lets go a little but keeps himself mostly folded up.
Bucky crawls his way up the bed beside Steve and lies down to Steve’s right.
‘Okay, so I’m going to put some lube on your fingers, Steve and I’m going to help guide you through doing this to yourself, okay?’
And Steve nods but he’s… strangely disappointed that it won’t be Bucky’s fingers inside him.
Which it seems like Bucky can tell, as he’s leaning down closer to Steve. ‘It’ll be easier for this time, Steve, so we don’t need to worry about cleaning you again or using gloves, but it’s gonna feel really good, I promise.’
‘Okay,’ Steve says softly, ‘I trust you.’
‘Good, that’s good,’ Bucky says, smile growing wider. And he lifts Steve’s arm from where it’s holding his knee against his chest, leaning down to use the partial weight of his body to help Steve keep his position. Bucky pops the top on the lube and covers his fingers in it, rubbing it over Steve’s index and middle finger and guiding his hand down to his asshole. ‘You wanna start real light, yeah?’ Bucky says, looking right into Steve’s eyes as he places Steve’s slicked up index finger against the rim of his hole, ‘You wanna tease it a little, don’t just be pushing straight in.’
Which makes sense to Steve, of course it does, he’d just been so nervous, in such a rush, he was trying to make something work without putting any real thought into it. But then Steve loses his train of thought, because Bucky is guiding his finger to circle around the delicate skin of his rim a little and that feels, oh… that feels okay. Ticklish maybe, and… good. It feels good, just like a light touch and yeah... That’s pretty nice actually.
‘Feels okay?’ Bucky asks, and Steve looks up at him and nods, gets a little bit lost in the way Bucky is still biting his lip. Then gets a little bit distracted by the catch of his own finger over a particularly sensitive spot. And as Steve sucks in a sharp breath, Bucky mirrors him, releasing his lips from his teeth and parting them to breathe just a little too deep. Just a little laboured.
Steve is transfixed.
Bucky guides him to circle again and then as he reaches closer to the thinner skin between his hole and his dick, bucky slows him down, puts some pressure and oh, fuck. Yes.
Bucky is maintaining eye contact through all of it and Steve sees the minute Bucky catches the reaction in Steve; his eyes widen, his pupils dilate. He smiles, lips still parted.
And watching Bucky watch him is like a feedback loop for Steve. The sensation of his fingers stimulating those nerves, the reaction to the sensation, Bucky’s reaction to his reaction, it circles around and intensifies everything. But Bucky doesn’t let him stay there, he makes him trace the rim again, and this time keeps the pressure just that bit firmer, and he guides Steve to slide the tip of his finger in just that little bit further.
It’s like there’s more nerves there somehow, the tingling feeling gets stronger and Steve makes an incoherent noise to which Bucky smiles wider and asks, ‘Yeah?’
Steve just nods along.
It feels so good that he starts to chase his finger with his hips, grinding them into the bed a little and then up again as his finger circles, presses, teases at his hole.
And Bucky, god, Bucky is rocking into Steve, ever so slightly, to the same rhythm.
His body is sliding along Steve’s, their bare chests inches apart, Bucky pressed into him where he’s holding Steve’s leg against his body.
‘Okay, Steve,’ Bucky says, leaning his face in close to Steve’s, ‘It’s time to add a little extra sensory input.’
Steve has no idea what that means but he nods. Because he’d really like to find out.
‘Take this hand,’ and he guides Steve’s left hand away from where it’s holding his other leg close to his body, and guides it up to his chest. Draws it across to Steve’s nipple. ‘Twist here, just lightly.’
Steve does as he’s asked, he grips his nipple between his fingers and twists it gently, at the same time Bucky helps him press into that spot where the nerves seem to sit right under his skin and the duplication of that sensation, the warmth shooting through him, is like a spike of pleasure.
Steve gasps at it, arches up into it, and Bucky grinds down with his hips into Steve’s thigh.
‘Yes, good Steve,’ he says, and Steve doesn’t know why hearing Bucky tell him he’s good feels just as amazing as the way Bucky is rocking into him, or the feel of his own hands on his nipple, ‘Again, just a little more.’
So Steve keeps twisting, circling, pressing, until his breathing is getting harder and faster, until the warmth is spreading out and into his limbs.
‘Okay Stevie, we’re gonna use a little more lube,’ Bucky says, after what seems like forever, pouring more out of the bottle onto his own fingers to then spread it to Steve’s, and then lifts Steve’s left hand off his chest to spread lube across his palm and up his fingers. ‘Down here,’ he says, and guides Steve’s hand to his dick where it’s rock hard and standing against his stomach, and slides it up the shaft.
‘Oh God,’ Steve cries breathlessly.
‘Yes,’ Bucky breathes.
Steve just moans into the feeling as he strokes himself.
‘Okay, Stevie, press in a little bit further now,’ and Steve does. Doesn’t even really notice any pain this time, just the same feeling of teasing, of electricity, but more, deeper. ‘Keep circling, try and keep it in time as you stroke yourself.’
So he does, and Jesus, it feels really good. It’s almost too much.
He tries to push deeper, but Bucky grabs his hand and doesn’t let him.
‘Not yet, Steve, not this time.’ and Steve just nods. Bucky knows best.
But it’s enough to rock harder. To fuck down onto the tip of his finger and then back up into his hand. And oh fuck. He’s gonna come like this.
He looks up at Bucky to tell him, to warn him, but Bucky is staring down at him with flushed cheeks and wet lips, panting his breaths and rocking into Steve’s thigh and Steve nearly loses his mind.
‘Bucky,’ he whispers, and Bucky’s eyes are so dark they're almost black.
‘Steve.’ Bucky has one hand on the hand between Steve’s legs and the other on his shoulder, and he leans impossibly closer. ‘Steve, can I kiss you?’
‘Yeah,’ Steve says, ‘Yes,’ he whispers, ‘Please.’
And Bucky closes the distance and presses slightly parted, spit slick lips to Steve’s mouth.
Bucky pulls his hand up off Steve’s and traces up his body to circle his waist. He’s still rocking his hips into Steve’s thigh in time with Steve’s strokes up and down his dick. He opens his lips into Steve’s mouth and slides his tongue softly between Steve’s lips, to press against Steve’s tongue.
And as Bucky kisses Steve, Steve’s strokes get faster, he fucks down harder onto his finger and Bucky opens his mouth wider. He licks into Steve’s mouth, rocking with his hips and fucking Steve’s mouth with his tongue and Steve is losing it, he’s losing control, the heat in him is overwhelming and it crashes over him and he’s coming. His come is painting his thighs and stomach as Bucky arches his back, thrusting into Steve and his breath catches as he goes rigid, coming too, from just the friction against Steve, his tongue in Steve’s mouth and they both breathe raggedly, Bucky clutching at Steve, and Steve releasing the tension in his arms and his back and body to just relax back into the bed.
Bucky softens the kiss but doesn’t let go of Steve, doesn’t back away, and Steve lets himself unfurl, onto the bed. Turns slightly and brings his hands up to rest on Bucky’s waist.
He hasn’t really been able to touch Bucky the whole time, and now he’s covered in lube and come and he really should pull away. Sam will be back soon and Steve needs a shower, and probably to change his sheets, and crack the window and…
He can’t stop kissing Bucky.
Which is probably a mistake, in hindsight.
Especially when the door slams open and both Bucky and Steve snap apart to look up and find Sam staring down at them with a look of horror on his face.
‘Oh my God !’ He cries, throwing the hand not carrying his football gear over his eyes, ‘What are you doing!’
‘Ah, Sam, could you give us a minute?’ Bucky says shakily, sitting up and then falling over Steve as he tries to climb over him and off the bed, slipping off the come and lube as he tries to find purchase with a hand on Steve’s stomach. ‘Sorry!’
‘Take your time, I’m gonna go take a cold shower, Jesus Christ,’ Sam says, backing his way out the door, ‘Where is the sock guys! Why didn’t you lock the door!’
‘Sam, it’s not a big deal,’ Bucky is saying - and at least he has pants on. Steve has his hands over his junk and is too scared to move in case he slips over in all the mess, ‘And this is something you probably need to get used to!’
Sam has left and is yelling (and laughing) from the hallway, and Bucky turns back to Steve as he pulls his singlet on over his head to say, ‘Sorry, Steve, I’ll be right back.’
And Steve is watching him leave, has forgotten that he’s naked, and filthy, and has class again in twenty minutes.
This is something Sam needs to get used to seeing?
The door closes with a quiet snick behind Bucky, and Steve sits stunned, heart hammering and the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips.
He can't believe that just happened.