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Charity Auction

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Normally speaking you would hand off attending a charity auction dinner to your personal assistant or one of the interns, but Meals on Wheels is particularly personal to you so here you are.

It's an old school gimmick reinvented for a post pandemic world. Thus you watch the Millennials and the with a great deal of side eye as you sip your literal tea, because long term sobriety is a thing, as the auctioneer gears up to start the bidding on a dinner date with Grace Hanson. Even sober, your brain suddenly flashes to THAT scene in the movie Nashville between Lily Tomlin and Keith Carradine.

Honestly, what woman of a certain age doesn't know Grace Hanson and the Say Grace cosmetic line? Or the Vybrant adult products line? You seem to have heard a rumor her daughter sold the Say Grace branch of the company or merged it with an up and coming company, though. Kids. As you inadvertently raise your glass to toast Grace, the auctioneer says " in the back … we have $100...who will go $125? And you're like sh** I didn't mean to bid. But then you take a good look at Grace up on the stage. Icy blonde/gray hair, piercing blue eyes, major amounts of IDGAF...when can I drink for real, attitude...Next thing you know, you raise your glass again to bid $300, intentionally this time, in solidarity with the attitude. Or that's what you tell yourself.

Going once, twice, congratulations to the woman in the back. Thank you for your support of Meals on Wheels. "Don't forget to pay the lady..."

You watch Grace walk towards you in a navy pinstripe suit jacket she paired with a white silk blouse, signature popped collar, and a tasteful long gold necklace.

You look down at your own leather pants, RBG t-shirt and cropped jacket plus your matching "dissent collar" earrings, and push your newly dyed pink bangs out of your eyes.

"This is very Kate Hepburn/Spenser Tracey Look who's coming to dinner" you say by way of greeting".

" I feel a bit like Mrs. Robinson instead" replies Grace, giving you a once over with those piercing blue eyes you noticed earlier.

Which is why you respond with a stare and an attitude of your own..."Don't get it twisted, I adore Anne Bancroft... but I have much more in common with Harvey than I ever did with Dustin Hoffman... speaking of which, it's $5 martini and manicure night at the Pink Flamingo, you up for a drag show?"

"You had me at $5 martini…" said Grace linking her arm in yours.. "Let's get outta here…although you're buying..." She added with a slow, sexy, what you're beginning to realize is also a signature, smile of hers.

"Yes ma'am I am" you reply thinking it's true, you will definitely buy whatever Grace decides to sell you this evening….