There isn't a word quite so devastating as almost.
Almost won. Almost made it. Almost enough.
But it's also just a word. Say it enough times and it starts to lose it's meaning. Semantic satiation: repeat it enough times and it sounds like gibberish.
Kaminari had almost gotten over his high school crush on Shinsou but no matter how many times he whispered his name to the darkness, it never lost it's meaning.
Kaminari had almost confessed to him in high school. Almost bucked up enough courage to do it. Then he'd been too late.
So when Shinsou showed up to UAs five year reunion without a date and looking like Kaminari's wettest dream, it was safe to say he had a gay panic moment to rival any he'd had in high school.
"Holy shit, when did he get so fuckable?" Mina interrupted Kaminari's moment of panic while he froze with his drink half way to his lips.
He'd stopped mid sip, glass still hovering in the air as he took in the sight of all his high school fantasies in the flesh.
"Mina," Kaminari pleaded as he carefully sat his drink back down on the table, "I don't think I'm mentally prepared to deal with this tonight."
Mina snickered and patted his shoulder consolingly. "Well, you better get prepared real quick because I might just take him home myself," she fanned herself dramatically, "I mean, damn."
"You're a horrible friend," he mumbled and she pat his shoulder again with a grin.
Damn was right though. Shinsou looked fuckable as hell. He'd filled out to the point his shoulders pulled at his leather jacket. When he shrugged it off, the loose button down he wore did nothing to hide his body. Kaminari was very thankful.
And he was tall. Like tall tall. Tall enough that Kaminari would probably have to be on his tiptoes to kiss him. He snatched his drink back up and took a much needed gulp.
He'd successfully avoided Shinsou since they'd graduated. Mostly because they didn't share the same missions or friendship groups and partly from sheer stubbornness.
If Kaminari had swapped a shift or two to make sure he was working to avoid a party that Shinsou would be at then, well, that was his business.
He couldn't skip their five year reunion though.
So he'd swallowed down his self pity and resigned himself to the fact he'd just have to deal with seeing Shinsou with his boyfriend for this one night.
Then the rumour had spread that they'd broken up.
Shinsou didn't have any social media so Kaminari couldn't verify it from the source but a few weeks ago Mina had heard from Hakagure who had heard from Uraraka who'd been told by Midoriya that Shinsou and Monoma had broken up.
Oh how he hated that smug asshole.
Boyfriend stealing, quirk stealing, smug asshole.
Kaminari bristled at the thought of him and finished the rest of his drink.
"Hey, so you know how I'd do anything for you?" Kaminari leaned into Mina and smiled sweetly, eyes trained on Shinsou's back as he took a seat at the bar.
Mina snorted but he continued anyway. "Wanna get the next round?" He lifted his cocktail glass toward her.
She looked between him and the bar, realising there'd be no way to ignore Shinsou if he wanted to order a drink. "No way, lover boy. Get over there and get your mans."
Kaminari deflated. "You really are a horrible friend, you know that?"
Kaminari tried to be confident as he propped his hip against the bench next to Shinsou and motioned toward the bartender. She gave him a nod and he waited for her. He took a deep breath, it was now or never.
"Shinsou?" he asked as if he hadn't seen him there.
Shinsou turned toward him and, oh god, close up was so much worse. Those damn eyes had haunted him for the last five years. If Kaminari thought he'd panicked before then that was nothing compared to this.
"Hey, man. You look," amazing, "alive." Fucking what? Why, oh why, did he have to blurt out the first thing that popped into his head? He scanned the room for the nearest window he could yeet himself out of.
The side of Shinsou's mouth ticked up and Kaminari's brain actually stopped. Maybe he hadn't blown it completely.
"Kaminari." Shinsou nodded. His fingers drummed on the bar top and Kaminari heard his rings clink together. "You're charming as ever."
Welp. Maybe he had blown it.
He watched Shinsou take a slow drink and his eyes followed the movement of his throat. He realized he'd taken too long to say something and, yep, Shinsou definitely noticed if the uptick of his brow was anything to go by. "What's up, dude?"
"Just trying to enjoy a drink," Shinsou said dryly, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Nope. He'd made a mess of this. Time to abort. He shot him a finger gun and tacked on, "Stay cool," as he hustled back to his table.
Kaminari slumped into the opposite side of the booth he'd vacated only a handful of minutes before. At least now his back was to Shinsou so maybe he could forget he was there. "I think I've forgotten how to flirt."
Mina reached over the table to pat his arm again. "Babe, I said go get your mans, not whatever that was."
Sero, who must have arrived while he was at the bar embarrassing himself, chuckled and leaned over the table toward him. "You've never been any good at flirting with people you actually like, dude." He sat back and looked over to the bar.
"Did he pull out the finger guns?" Sero asked Mina who nodded with a sigh.
Kaminari huffed. "They've never let me down before."
"You're a disaster," Sero said with a shake of his head as he stood. "Anyone want a drink?"
Kaminari looked to the empty table in front of him. Damn it, after all that he hadn't even ordered a drink.
While Sero was at the bar, Bakugou and Kirishima filled in the other end of their booth and Kaminari almost forgot about Shinsou.
That was until he heard Kirishima ask Bakugou, "Can you read what he's saying?"
Bakugou's hearing had gotten progressively worse over the years, a result of his quirk he'd said, and he'd learned how to lip read so he didn't have to wear his aids in a fight.
Kaminari watched him nod and speak quietly to Kirishima who's grin got wider by the word.
Kaminari strained to hear over the noise in the bar and picked up the end of his words.
"...room at our table, come sit with us."
Who was he-
"Would you mind carrying this for me it's for dunce face."
"Sero wouldn't call me that!"
Bakugou smirked. "It's rude to eavesdrop."
Kaminari went to swing around to see who Sero was talking to but Mina quickly grabbed his hand and his attention. "I read this article the other day that said how fast you can chug a beer is directly related to your blowjob skills."
Kirishima's eyebrows climbed up his forehead and Bakugou snorted a laugh. Kirishima still held their record of 12 seconds and Bakugou wasn't protesting.
Kaminari laughed, Sero entirely forgotten. "That's bullshit. You all know I'm shit at chugging. But I can suck dick with the best of them."
A throat cleared to Kaminari's right and a blue cocktail was sat in front of him.
Kaminari recognised the hand attached to his drink and snapped his mouth shut so fast his teeth clacked.
"Don't stop on account of me," Shinsou said dryly, sarcasm thick in his voice as he slid into the booth next to Kaminari. "I'd love to hear all about how much dick you can swallow."
Kaminari turned a bright shade of red. Mina and Sero, ever the unfaithful wingpeople both howled with laughter. At least Kirishima had the good sense to look sorry. Kaminari wondered if he could slide under the table and out of sight.
And so Kaminari's night went from bad to worse. Not only did he have to deal with Shinsou sitting right there joking about his blowjob skills but also with the fact he'd have to find new friends because these ones were all assholes.
The group talked about nothing for a while, somehow involving Shinsou in the conversation seamlessly. He learned that Shinsou's work was really taking off and he was pretty popular amongst underground heroes.
When Sero asked how come he'd never heard of him, Shinsou joked back saying, "Isn't that the point? What kind of underground hero would I be if you'd heard of me?"
Kaminari had missed Shinsou's dry humour and he couldn't help the snort he made in response. The noise caught Shinsou's attention and he turned to face him more fully.
And nope, he was still not ready for that. Shinsou's full attention held an intensity that made his skin itch.
"Are you drunk enough to talk to me yet?" Shinsou asked, a hint of a tease soft in his voice.
"Almost," Kaminari replied before downing the rest of his drink.
Shinsou chuckled. "I always did like that about you."
Kaminari quirked his eyebrow questioningly at him and Shinsou continued, "You were never scared to answer my questions."
Kaminari turned to look at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Why would I be?"
Kaminari's body froze and a lick of electricity unwittingly crawled over his skin. Shinsou's quirk caressed his mind and seeped into his body. Oh holy fuck, yeah, that was why. Shinsou dropped his control as quickly as he'd taken it.
Kaminari took a deep breath to calm himself. Stamping down the lick of arousal that had come with being under Shinsou's control. That was a sensation he hadn't felt since high school and his fantasies were nothing like the real thing. "Wow. You got strong," he managed to say.
Shinsou half smiled, acknowledging the compliment. "So if it's not that, then why don't you want to talk to me?" He leaned back and dropped his arm along the back of the booth behind Kaminari's head.
"Have you looked at yourself?" he blurted. "I have enough trouble forming intelligent sentences when I'm talking to regular people. How am I supposed to form words when you're looking like that." Kaminari gestured vaguely at him.
Shinsou's eyes darkened with something that made Kaminari want to look away and the side of his lip ticked up in a sly smile. "You're one to talk."
Well shit. As if he wasn't having enough trouble speaking then Shinsou had to go and say something like that.
"Relax, Denks. It's just me," Shinsou said easily. Kaminari could only laugh because, dear lord, that was entirely the problem.
He vaguely registered Mina asking Bakugou if she could borrow his husband to dance and Sero getting up to join them. When he was finally able to tear his eyes away from Shinsou he noted that Bakugou was nowhere in sight either.
"You've heard all about me so do I get to know what you've been doing now?" Shinsou asked.
They slipped into a conversation surprisingly easily. Kaminari had always been good at talking and he'd relaxed enough to get the words out. Shinsou was a good listener and made it easy to talk to him. Probably a result of his quirk.
Shinsou flagged down a waitress and ordered himself another drink before asking if Kaminari wanted one too. Wanting to prolong whatever was happening between them, Kaminari readily agreed.
"Thanks, beautiful," Kaminari said with a wink at their waitress as she dropped off their drinks.
Shinsou's eyes flashed with something dark.
No. He couldn't be.
Shinsou wasn't jealous.
As soon as he'd had the thought, Shinsou's face was back in its neutral, bored look. It almost made him question whether he'd imagined it.
Until, "God, I forgot you do that."
Kaminari quirked his brow. "Do what?"
The fingers that had been resting behind Kaminari's head started idly playing with the ends of his hair and the sensation sent a shiver down his spine.
"Flirt with everyone."
"I do not flirt with everyone!" That was a straight up lie. But, whatever.
Shinsou cocked an eyebrow at that and his lip turned up in a smile. "You're an outrageous flirt, sweetheart." Then his voice went quieter. "You never flirted with me though."
"I, what?" Kaminari asked. Was he that bad at flirting with people he liked?
"I'd watch you flirt with everyone and finally accepted that you just didn't see me like that." His eyes flicked over Kaminari's face, searching. "I always did wonder though."
Kaminari started to sputter a response but Shinsou's soft words cut him off.
"Did you ever have that person who was an almost? The one that got away?"
Yes. God yes.
"You were my almost," Shinsou said quietly. He sounded almost, wistful.
"You've got to be kidding me," Kaminari muttered under his breath.
Kaminari twisted around, planting one foot on the seat and pulling his knee up to his chest so he could face him fully. Shinsou still hadn't dropped his arm from the back of the booth and his fingertips rested against Kaminari's shoulder.
"You're telling me that you, you were into me in high school?" Kaminari asked incredulously.
Shinsou shrugged one shoulder but his eyes held an intensity that belied the gesture. "I was always into you."
Kaminari laughed almost deliriously and looked away, unable to hold his gaze. "Don't say things you don't mean."
He felt Shinsou's finger under his chin tilt his head back up to meet his eyes. "Why wouldn't I mean that?"
Dear lord, that voice.
Kaminari smiled a small smile and shook his head a little.
Shinsou's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "You don't believe me." His fingers moved to the side of Kaminari's face and his thumb stroked over his cheekbone.
Kaminari's last brain cell had left long ago and he couldn't form words.
"What's it gonna take for you to believe me?" Shinsou's voice had dropped to a deep rumble.
Kaminari's eyes met his and he was sure he could get lost in those whirls of purple. "I don't think I ever will," he admitted quietly.
Shinsou's thumb traced over Kaminari's bottom lip and before he could process what was happening, Shinsou's lips met his in a barely there brush. Kaminari's hand shot out to his chest and he kissed him back.
What started out slow and torturous didn't take long to turn desperate. Five years worth of want finally had a release and Kaminari put everything he had into it.
Shinsou's tongue teased at the seam of his lips and the hand Kaminari had pressed to his chest curled into the fabric and he accidentally sent a small shock into him.
"Fuck," Shinsou husked and pulled back just barely. Kaminari made to pull away but Shinsou's hand around his wrist stopped him. "Do that again."
Kaminari met his gaze and saw the barely controlled desperation sitting just under the surface. He pressed his palm flat to Shinsou's chest just above his pec and sent a small shock through his fingertips.
Shinsou's teeth sunk into his bottom lip as his eyes fluttered and he let out a groan.
Kaminari was a goner.
Shinsou's dark eyes opened as he drew away. They held for a second before he said, "Wanna get out of here?"
Kaminari felt that shiver crawl down his spine at the words. "Yeah, god yes."
Shinsou gripped his hand and tugged him to his feet as he stood. The only thing he remembered from leaving the bar was the thumbs up Mina threw his way as they passed her on their way out.
Thankfully the train car was empty and Shinsou pressed him back into the corner.
"Tell me if I'm moving too fast," he whispered against his lips but there was something commanding about the tone and Kaminari shivered.
"Not fast enough," Kaminari replied, reaching up to thread his fingers into purple hair.
Shinsou's next kiss was rough from the start, and Kaminari's hands fisted in his hair trying to get closer. His back arched and his hips ground into him. Shinsou groaned and returned the gesture, grinding his hips forward.
Shinsou groaned into his neck. "You're going to be the death of me, Denks."
Their stop came quicker than Kaminari wanted but the thought of what was to follow had him scrambling to the exit.
The door to Shinsou's bedroom slammed and Shinsou crowded him against it. "I want you so badly, sweetheart." His lips found the sensitive skin under his ear and he traced it with his tongue.
Shinsou's broad hands slipped under his shirt and hungrily made their way over his skin. He squeezed and kneaded his way up until his shirt was riding high on his chest. Kaminari lift his arms over his head to let it be pulled off.
"You're so fucking gorgeous," Shinsou whispered as his dropped a kiss against his neck again.
"Will you use your quirk on me?" Kaminari blurted.
Shinsou dragged his lips from Kaminari's neck. "No, that would be-"
A twinge of disappointment stabbed through Kaminari and Shinsou must have seen it because his words cut off.
"That would be..." Shinsou's eyes darkened.
"So fucking hot. Yeah, yes," Kaminari took a breath in so he could get the words out. "I've imagined it so many times."
"Careful there, gorgeous," he rumbled. "I could make you do anything I want."
Yeah. Exactly. "I know. I want you to use your quirk on me."
"Fuck, kitten. I've never used it in bed before. Are you sure?"
Oh, that nickname turned his insides to liquid. "I've never been more sure of anything," he pleaded.
A slow smile spread over Shinsou's face and he groaned. "You're going to kill me, kitten." He bent and wrapped the blond's legs around his waist, scooping him up effortlessly and sealed their lips back together.
He walked the couple of steps to his bed and dropped him onto it.
Kaminari only managed a nod, eyes fluttering closed.
"I need your voice, Denks," Shinsou said as he trailed his fingers across the smooth skin at his waist.
"Yeah, please," Kaminari said, voice already wrecked, even to his own ears.
"Stay still," Shinsou commanded. "Don't take your eyes off me."
Kaminari felt Shinsou's quirk caress his mind and his eyes flew open. His voice soaked into his bones and made it hard to think of anything else.
The vague idea that Shinsou could make him do anything and he'd just, do it floated through his mind.
He could feel his heart rate pick up and his breathing came a little quicker. He felt his dick twitch at the idea and he was glad his pants were still on to save him from the embarrassment.
The only thing he could see through the hazy fog in his mind was Shinsou
He undid the buttons on his own shirt and let it hang open before he sat next to Kaminari's still body. He let his fingers trail over Kaminari's smooth skin and a spark jumped from his shoulder to Shinsou's hand.
"God, you still can't control it, can you?"
Kaminari couldn't answer but the hunger in Shinsou's eyes told him that it wasn't a bad thing.
“You're fucking beautiful, Denki." His fingers brushed over Kaminari's nipples. "Would you believe me if I told you I've imagined this?" His hands ran down from his chest over his stomach to the top of his jeans.
Kaminari could hardly breathe, his fingers were tingling as if a charge was building up and his dick had never been so hard. All from Shinsou just, touching him.
Shinsou dropped his control and Kaminari sucked in a breath. "Holy, fuck," he moaned. "This is gonna be over very fast if you do that again.”
Shinsou smirked at him. "I can make sure it's not, kitten.”
Kamianri whined and reached down to undo the button on his pants. "Please, Hitoshi, I need you to touch me. I'm so fucking hard."
Shinsou tugged off his pants and underwear in one movement, wrapped his hand around Kaminari's shaft and slowly, too slowly, pumped from base to tip.
“Better?" he asked. Kamianri's eyes begged him for more and Shinsou gave in.
He leaned down between his legs and teasingly licked from the base up over the tip and down again. Kaminari felt a spark of electricity crawl over his chest when Shinsou wrapped his lips around him and swirled his tongue before sucking gently.
He made a pleading noise and Shinsou took him deep into his mouth. He keened, high and long and could feel his thighs trembling while the muscles in his stomach tensed and clenched.
Kaminari thread his fingers through Shinsou's hair and fisted the strands. He gasped as he felt himself hit the back of Shinsou's throat and he sucked hard before easing off to stroke him with his hand, never letting more than the tip past his lips.
The fingers in Shinsou's hair flexed and his other hand fisted the blanket under him while his back bowed.
"Don't you dare," Kaminari heard in that voice. "Don't come."
Forced back from the edge, not even Shinsou's quirk could stop the whine that fell from his lips.
"You're not coming until I'm deep inside you, sweetheart.”
Kaminari made a pathetic noise and nodded weakly.
"I want you on your hands and knees."
Kaminari scrambled onto all fours while Shinsou rummaged in his drawer. He felt the bed dip down as Shinsou knelt behind him and heard a soft groan of appreciation.
He felt the cool press of a lube slick finger press against his entrance a second later and he fought to keep his arms underneath him. When Shinsou’s finger finally pushed its way inside him, a whimper punched it's way out of his throat.
Shinsou slowly fucked him with his fingers and Kaminari almost cried each time he brushed over his prostate. He started to tremble, anticipation building higher and higher.
"Are you ready?" The desperation laced through that voice was almost Kaminari's undoing.
He could only nod.
Shinsou eased his fingers out and quickly replaced them with the head of his cock. His fingers gripped Kaminari's hips hard enough to bruise and pushed inside him. He slid out and back in, agonizingly slowly.
Finally. Kaminari had thought about this moment for five fucking years and this was everything he'd ever wanted.
He must have said that out loud because he heard Shinsou's sharp intake of breath and he pushed all the way inside of him. Shinsou's moan curled his toes.
"Please, Shinsou," Kaminari breathed.
"What happened to Hitoshi?" Shinsou asked as he slid in and out again, torturously slow. "I like the way you say it.”
"Hitoshi, please," Kaminari pleaded. "Fuck me."
Shinsou used the grip on his hips to thrust into him relentlessly, finding a harsh, satisfying rhythm that had them both moaning.
Kaminari thought maybe his brain had shut off completely. The only thought he had was how full he was, how deep Shinsou was and the whisp of him still caressing his mind.
Shinsou angled his hips up and Kaminari cried out, lightning cracked over his body and arched into Shinsou.
Shinsou's thrusts stuttered and he gasped. "Holy, fuck. Do that again."
Kaminari's lightning was pulled from deep within him, hot and bright to cover his whole body in static. The caress of Shinsou coaxing it out made his whole body oversensitive. The loss of control sank into his bones and the urge to come was overwhelming.
His quirk crackled into Shinsou and he moaned brokenly, pushing as deep as he could inside him and stayed there.
"Come for me."
The tightness inside him snapped and his whole body exploded in orgasm. "H- Hitoshi," the name dripped from his lips in shudders.
He shook violently and Shinsou held him down on his cock through it all. Watching Kaminari unravel beneath him pushed Shinsou over the edge and he groaned his release into him.
Shinsou dropped his head to rest between Kaminari's shoulder blades and stayed that way for a long time catching their breath.
Shinsou gently pulled out of him and pulled him to his chest as he dropped to the bed. "You okay?" he whispered into his hair.
"Uh huh." It was all he could manage.
Shisnou huffed a laugh. "Do you still go loopy with your quirk?"
He hadn't for a long time but apparently he still did. He tried to tell Shinsou as much but all that came out was a gurgle. He weakly lifted his arm and gave him a thumbs up instead.
Shinsou tucked him to his chest tightly and waited for him to come back down.
A little while later Kaminari rolled onto his back and stared up at Shinsou's ceiling.
"Are you better now?”
"Almost," Kaminari breathed.
The word that had started it all.
Shinsou must have realised it too because his arms around him tightened a little more.
"I didn't get to show you how much dick I can swallow."
Shinsou shook with laughter.
"Maybe next time, kitten."