Shen Yuan woke up with a pounding headache. He opened his eyes, and was nearly blinded by a bright blue light. A robotic voice blared through his head as he squeezed his eyes shut in pain.
[System activating… Welcome new user! *\(^.^)/* Congratulations, you have successfully transmigrated into the novel ⟪Proud Immortal Demon Way⟫ with the activation code 「Stupid author, stupid novel」. New user will have the opportunity to fill plot holes and further develop ‘the 2d 40 IQ characters that lose brain cells with each chapter’ and transform ‘this piece of flaming trash’ into a high class work. (^o^)b This system is rooting for you! ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́) Please wait as this System finishes set-up!]
Faintly, amidst the robotic voice that sounds suspiciously similar to Google Translate, he hears someone gently ask, “Shidi? Shidi, can you hear me?”
Shen Yuan forced himself to calm down, and opened his eyes once again. His eyes adjusted to the brightness, and past the bright blue Iron-Man-esque HUD screen hovering in front of his face, he could see the canopy of the bed, as well as a handsome man hovering by his bedside. Said man had begun to release his pheromones, in a misguided attempt to calm Shen Yuan. The only thing that the pheromones accomplished was make Shen Yuan stiffen uncomfortably.
Please!! Only close friends and family should share pheromones so freely!! This is too much for me, I just woke up!!
Shen Yuan didn’t spend all his time reading webnovels for nothing! He’s read enough transmigration novels to play along, even if this is a massive prank! Feigning confusion and sleepiness, he brings a hand to his temple and asks, “What happened?”
The man furrowed his eyebrows and held Shen Yuan’s hands worriedly. “Is Qingqiu-shidi alright? Qingqiu-shidi caught a fever out of nowhere last night, and had this shixiong worried. This shixiong knows that Qingiqu-shidi has been stressed due to the upcoming Immortal Alliance Conference, but there’s no need to push yourself to illness.”
Why are those words so familiar?? Fuck, fuck, fuck, didn’t that strange voice say something about ⟪Proud Immortal Demon Way⟫ earlier??
It was then that the blue HUD interface popped up.
[System activation successful! Binding your role: Luo Binge’s master, Cang Qiong Mountain sec, Qing Jing Peak, Peak Lord ‘Shen Qingqiu.’ Weapon: Xiu Ya Sword. Gender: Male. Presentation: Omega. Starting B points: 100]
!! What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!! Is this some kind of sick joke?
The disembodied voice responded quickly,
[New user initiated this System, and is now bound to the account ‘Shen Qingqiu.’ This System is not accepting refunds or exchanges at this time! As the plot progresses, host has the opportunity to earn B points, which can be used in exchange for items in this System’s shop! Please make sure that host's B points do not dip below 0, otherwise the punishment protocol will be activated! (o^▽^o)]
Shen Yuan is sure now. He had actually transmigrated into a webnovel. Unless the technology for some sort of SAO rip off had been developed when he wasn’t looking and this was some sort of massive shitty prank.Shen Yuan weighed the two options, but either didn’t seem all that plausible. It seems as though his only option is to play along.
Which means kicking the man by his bedside out so Shen Yuan can figure out how the hell he’s going to escape Shen Qingqiu’s stick-ification. Wait- if Shen Yuan had transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu, the second eldest in seniority of the Cang Qiong Sect, that means that the man by his bedside is no other than the sect leader, Yue Qingyuan! Waiting so diligently by his shidi’s bed side, unaware that this very shidi is the cause of Yue Qingyuan’s death in ⟪Proud Immortal Demon Way⟫! Truly, Yue Qingyuan’s role as a well meaning elder brother type NPC is well earned.
“Shidi? Are you alright?”
Shen Yuan jolted, realizing that he had remained silent and unmoving since the last time Yue Qingyuan had spoken. Before Shen Yuan could open his mouth to respond, the System flickered to life once again.
[This System is here to warn host that because host has just begun, the OOC function is frozen and inaccessible until the appropriate amount of B points has been accumulated. Failure to act IC with Shen Qingqiu will also activate the punishment protocol, where host will be returned to host's original world, in host's original body]
Fuck!! The last thing that Shen Yuan remembered prior to waking was unbearable pain in his stomach, before passing out in front of his desktop with that damned ⟪Proud Immortal Demon Way⟫ opened, in the middle of his scathing review on the final chapter. And didn’t most transmigrations happen when the transmigrator dies?
Smoothing his face into what Shen Yuan hoped was cold and aloof, Shen Yuan thought quickly. He needed to figure out where in the timeline of the novel he was. Seeing the protagonist and his age would solve that, wouldn’t it?
“Where is Luo Binghe?”
Yue Qingyuan winced, and said, “Shidi, don’t be upset.”
Shen Yuan felt trepidation creep up in him, and it rose further when Yue Qingyuan began releasing more of those infernal ‘calming’ alpha pheromones. Thinking on Shen Qingqiu’s character, Shen Yuan decided that it is completely in character to hiss, “Stop releasing those pheromones.”
Yue Qingyuan looks abashed, but stops releasing the scent. “I know you don’t like Luo Binghe, but is it really necessary to punish him further after you’ve already beat him and strung him up in the woodshed?”
Fuck!! Shen Qingqiu’s abuse had already started!
“This shidi thanks zhangmen-shixiong for waiting by his side during his fever, but zhangmen-shixiong’s presence is no longer needed,” Shen Yuan says coolly.
Yue Qingyuan looked on what the fuck why do those eyes look so yearning?? and responded, “This shixiong will respect shidi’s wishes,” before taking his leave of the bamboo house.
Shen Yuan breathed a sigh of relief. Now that he was alone in the house, he could plan out what he needed to do to survive in this dumpster fire of a stallion novel. Step 1: Seeing Luo Binghe to figure out how much damage control is needed.
Shen Yuan barely took a step before the System alarms blared through his head.
[OOC Warning! OOC Warning! Shen Qingqiu would not visit Luo Binghe.]
Ugh. I’ll just send someone else to bring him. That should be within the bounds.
After he sent Ming Fan to retrieve Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan contemplates his current situation. He thought back to the System’s classification of Shen Qingqiu as a male omega. It was quite the shock, since ⟪Proud Immortal Demon Way⟫ had never revealed the scum teacher’s sub gender. Well. At least Shen Yuan didn’t have to do any adjustment in that aspect, since he was also a male omega in his previous life.
Shen Yuan’s face darkened. With how that damned Airplane messed with presentation dynamics, he likely would have to figure out how his new body worked! Instead of having normal presentation dynamics, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had the grand idea of implementing old and outdated dynamics into the world of ⟪Proud Immortal Demon Way⟫. Millennium ago, it was thought that the ‘base instinct’ of each sub gender played a more prominent role in everyday life. However, after years and years of evolution, humanity, in Shen Yuan’s words, chilled out, and for most of recent history, people weren’t beholden to their presentation’s ‘base instincts.’ However, it is still a popular trope in many erotica works, because apparently nothing is sexier than aggressive alphas having sex with desperate omegas during their exaggerated heats. Heats don’t work like that irl! It was so clearly a cover for the shameless papapa that Airplane had written into ⟪Proud Immortal Demon Way⟫.
Fuck!! Now that Shen Yuan thought about it, where the hell was he supposed to get period pads in an ancient China xianxia setting??
Before Shen Yuan could work himself into a frenzy, there was a knock on the door frame, and a small voice floated through.
“Shizun? This lowly disciple has arrived as requested..”
Once again smoothing his face into the cool facade, Shen Yuan prepared himself to meet the pre-blackened protagonist.
A boy of maybe fifteen years limped through the doorway. Despite the clear remnants of a beating, Luo Binghe’s clear eyes like the brightest stars in the night sky and fluffy mass of hair was a testament to his white lotus character.
As Luo Binghe struggled to kneel before Shen Yuan, Shen Yuan flicked open the fan that he had found by his bed, covering the bottom half of his face. Any words that he had prepared flew out of his mind into the void, when faced with the white lotus protagonist halo. Fuck!! What is Shen Yuan supposed to do when faced with such innocence and cuteness??
Wait- Shen Yuan should stop Luo Binghe from kneeling for him. Who knows what will come back to bite him in the ass later!
“There is no need for kneeling. This is medicine.” Thinking again on the OOC restrictions, Shen Yuan tossed the vial of medicine he had withdrawn from his sleeves. He added, sarcastically, “Be sure to not let others see and think that Qing Jing Peak abuses its disciples.”
There!! That should satisfy that damned System!
Luo Binghe’s eyes teared up as he scrambled to catch the medicine. “This lowly disciple thanks Shizun for the medicine!” he exclaims, clutching the vial close to his chest.
Shen Yuan had to turn his face away from the glow of the protagonist’s smile as he received the medicine. As expected! The white lotus protagonist was as brilliant and shining as the sun itself!
Luo Binghe continued, “This disciple will endeavor to redouble his efforts in the future, and won’t let Shizun be disappointed!”
Shen Yuan adopts a disinterested tone, “And how has Luo Binghe’s cultivation progressed?”
Luo Binghe visibly shrunk, and said “This disciple is no good, and can not progress further than the basics.”
“And how old is Luo Binghe this year?”
“This disciple is fourteen.”
Fourteen!! Only fourteen, and already so much suffering! Shen Yuan’s heart goes out to Luo Binghe, before realizing that this very same Luo Binghe will be responsible for ripping his limbs off, and he internally quakes in fear.
“I see. That is all for today. Continue on with your studies. Luo Binghe is dismissed.”
“This disciple thanks Shizun again for the medicine.” Luo Binghe bows and excuses himself, leaving Shen Yuan alone once again in the bamboo home.