Fu Shen reached into the sheets, quickly finding the solid length against his leg. It was hot to the touch, even through the single layer of Yan Xiaohan’s silk sleeping clothes, and Fu Shen’s mind went blank for a moment--he’d never touched another man like this, and even though he was a man himself, he felt as though he didn’t know what to do.
Yan Xiaohan exhaled sharply, reaching down to take Fu Shen’s hand and pull it away. Sounding almost nervous, he said, “Jingyuan, you don’t have to--”
“I want to,” Fu Shen said plainly. He surprised himself by saying it--he wouldn’t have admitted it unless he’d been prompted like this, but surely he’d wanted to for a long time now. When he looked at Yan Xiaohan, there was always a desire that embarrassed him, a wish that they could act like a married couple in this way as well--they already slept in the same bed, treated each other respectfully, kissed each other with hunger in their mouths. This was the next step, in his mind, although he never had any idea what was going on in Yan Xiaohan’s.
Yan Xiaohan didn’t answer for a moment, his brows furrowed. He held Fu Shen’s hand tightly, not letting him move at all. “You do?”
Starting to grow impatient, Fu Shen said, “Would I do it otherwise?” He freed his hand from Yan Xiaohan’s grasp and touched the man again, this time insistently, cupping him tightly in his palm. Yan Xiaohan started to speak again, and Fu Shen shut him up with his lips. He kissed him roughly, half expecting to be pushed away, but Yan Xiaohan’s hands caught him at the waist, not gentle or harsh, as though just trying to hold him in place. When Fu Shen pulled away, Yan Xiaohan’s eyes were wide as he stared at him with an unreadable expression.
“What?” Fu Shen said. His heart was pounding in his ears, his lips tingling. “Am I that repulsive to you?” He knew it wasn’t true as he said it; he was still rubbing between Yan Xiaohan’s legs, and he could feel him growing even harder against his touch, could hear his breath hitching when they kissed. But part of him still wanted reassurance.
“Of course not,” Yan Xiaohan breathed. His expression softened, and he said, “Jingyuan, you’re--you don’t even know how perfect you are.”
Fu Shen stiffened. He hadn’t expected that. He lowered his gaze, drawing back his hand and muttering, “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
Yan Xiaohan scoffed. “That’s hardly a fair rule, between us.” He took Fu Shen’s hand again, this time guiding it back to his cock and helping Fu Shen rub it with light, slow strokes. “But that’s truly how I feel. Shouldn’t you know that by now?”
“What should I know,” Fu Shen grumbled, leaning down for another kiss. He didn’t want to talk anymore--all this open discussion of feelings made him uncomfortable; he was only at ease talking to Yan Xiaohan when there were three layers of irony and hidden meanings in their words, when both of them were pretending they didn’t mean any of it. He was jolted from his thoughts when Yan Xiaohan lifted him by the hips and readjusted him, placing a thigh between Fu Shen’s legs. With a firm thrust, Yan Xiaohan’s thigh grinded against Fu Shen, sending a sudden rush of pleasure through him. Fu Shen jolted up like he’d been burned, stifling a gasp.
“Are you that delicate?” Yan Xiaohan said, laughing openly. Fu Shen’s ears burned. Yan Xiaohan was flushed now, too, his eyes alight with pleasure, his breaths heavy. He looked alluring, Fu Shen had to admit--even if he was finding this far too amusing. “Did I scare you?”
Fu Shen didn’t answer, although he was asking himself the same questions. He was a grown man, not a teenager; why did nothing more than a very close embrace leave him so flustered? He had been a general, for gods’ sake. With a little indignation, he tugged at the ties of Yan Xiaohan’s pants, enjoying the moment of silence he was rewarded with. As the ties fell loose, Fu Shen fell against Yan Xiaohan and kissed the space between his shoulder and his neck. He slid his hand beneath the hem of the man’s pants and found his cock, hot and solid against his fingers, already slick at the tip.
“Jingyuan,” Yan Xiaohan murmured, raising a hand to stroke Fu Shen’s hair.
What are you calling me for , Fu Shen muttered inwardly; his mouth was occupied, trailing rough kisses up Yan Xiaohan’s throat. He gave a tentative stroke, but was interrupted as Yan Xiaohan suddenly lifted him once again, this time placing him on his back, as softly as if Fu Shen would break if he slipped from Yan Xiaohan’s arms.
“What are you doing?” Fu Shen asked blankly.
“You have to be mindful of your health,” Yan Xiaohan said, his voice smooth. He started to undo the ties of Fu Shen’s pants, and suddenly Fu Shen’s heartbeat quickened to an impossible pace. “It must be uncomfortable for you, lying on top of me like that.”
“Like hell it is,” Fu Shen grumbled, starting to awkwardly push himself up. Yan Xiaohan maintained one hand on his waist, another still working on his pants. “Maybe I don’t want to be stuck underneath you, either.” He made a sudden effort to roll out of Yan Xiaohan’s grasp, and Yan Xiaohan fumbled to grab him, crying out, “Jingyuan, be careful!”
It was too late--when Fu Shen was trying wildly to move away, his foot randomly knocked into the foot-warmer, causing it to fall from the bed and crash to the floor. The sound was shockingly loud, and both men froze in alarm. Fu Shen met Yan Xiaohan’s eyes, feeling a little guilty.
“That must have woken half the courtyard,” Fu Shen whispered.
“At least. Will you be good now?” Yan Xiaohan asked, with a lightly teasing tone.
Fu Shen lay back, a complicated mix of emotions flooding through him. “What a domineering wife you are,” he said. Yan Xiaohan only smiled, before carefully straddling his waist, taking care not to put pressure on his legs. He finished untying Fu Shen’s trousers with a single fluid motion, before settling half on top of him--in a brief moment of amusement, Fu Shen wondered if actually Yan Xiaohan had been uncomfortable with a fully grown man laying on him like a heavy, smothering blanket. The amusement vanished in an instant as Yan Xiaohan reached inside his pants and took him in his hand. Yan Xiaohan had none of Fu Shen’s tentativeness, and the sudden relentless touch made Fu Shen groan, arching his back shamelessly. God, with seven years of feelings towards him, surely Yan Xiaohan had thought of this often, had it all planned out--the thought made Fu Shen feel even warmer, and he reached out and took a fistful of Yan Xiaohan’s hair, as though scrambling for purchase.
“There you go,” Yan Xiaohan murmured. “ Gege will take care of you.”
“Who’s gege ,” Fu Shen said through his teeth. With his free hand, he grabbed Yan Xiaohan’s cock and jerked at it, watching in satisfaction as Yan Xiaohan bit his lip, his smug expression faltering. With all their half-hearted touches and rolling around, neither of them lasted long; Yan Xiaohan gave a sudden groan, thrusting into Fu Shen’s hand and spilling all across his fingers, and then Fu Shen squeezed his eyes shut, panting heavily as he felt himself getting closer, until he burst, crying out as Yan Xiaohan stroked him until he’d given all he could.
And then Yan Xiaohan was pulling Fu Shen into his arms once again, letting his cheek rest against his chest as it rose and fell rapidly. The only sound in the room was their breathing, which evened out as they both relaxed, the last waves of pleasure gently ebbing away.
“Mm,” Yan Xiaohan said cheerfully. “That wasn’t bad, was it?”
Fu Shen shifted his face against Yan Xiaohan’s chest in a gesture that could easily have been mistaken for a nuzzle. “Brother Yan, after all this, you still want to joke around… aren’t you tired?”
Yan Xiaohan’s demeanor changed instantly, and he gently set Fu Shen down on the bed before rising and going to look for something. Belatedly, Fu Shen realized that it must have sounded as though he were complaining about being tired--although that wasn’t inaccurate, either--and his husband had dutifully gone to prepare them for bed. Fu Shen couldn’t help a lazy smile, watching Yan Xiaohan clean off his stomach with a towel, then his hand, before tucking him under the blanket and finally joining him. Fu Shen started to awkwardly shuffle closer to Yan Xiaohan, who quickly realized his intentions and silently pulled him into his arms once again, where he would stay until morning.