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No Really, It's Mein Teil

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At the start, Richard had found the whole concept of the ‘Mein Teil’ video frankly hilarious. Him fighting himself, Flake being a ballerina, them all on a leash, and especially the idea of Schneider dressing up like a woman. He figured it would be a laugh, he’d be able to tease Schneider about it for a while, and then everything would move on.

Looking at Schneider now, he was really regretting his previous thoughts. He knew that Schneider was a pretty man with his high cheekbones, bright blue eyes, and well-muscled long limbs. Add in mascara and eyeliner and lipstick and suddenly Richard felt like he couldn’t stop looking at the man, couldn’t stop looking at how well his eyes were now framed, how the lipstick somehow made every word out of the man’s mouth devastating. All in all, Schneider dressed up as a woman was, for some unknown reason to Richard, even more unimaginably hot than Schneider already was. It really wasn’t fair, he thought to himself.

It started off fairly tame, thankfully. Schneider just sitting in the chair, looking bitchy, as the cameras panned around him. It was when he started delicately stuffing chocolate into his mouth that Richard started to realise he was in trouble. He found himself unable to look away from those long fingers, imagining them stuffing food into his own mouth.

Unfortunately for Richard, there was more to come.

Schneider was writhing on the ground, slowly pulling his skirt up higher and higher as he rubbed himself through the delicate fabric of the lacy knickers he was wearing. The director of the video was slowly giving him different directions as the cameras panned around him, telling him to pull the skirt up higher, to really grab his cock, to spread his legs. He managed to work through his own embarrassment, just focussing on what he was being told to do and hoping to get it over and done with.

Richard found himself completely stunned and breathless at the sight, felt his own cock stiffen slightly at the man before him. Before he could even begin to rein in his imagination, he was sucked down a whirlwind of different possibilities. One stuck out loudly in his mind; he is the one writhing on the ground as he touches himself but leaning over him is Christoph, all dolled up as Frau Schneider, telling him exactly what to do, telling him exactly how to touch himself and when to do so.

Richard had no idea how he was ever going to look Christoph in the eyes again, let alone let the man put a collar on him and take him for a walk without it being painfully and embarrassingly obvious the effect that it has on him. He was pretty sure his own boner isn’t part of the director’s vision for this music video. He’s grateful that his outfit is at least a shirt and pants. If he was in Ollie’s loincloth, he’d be well and truly fucked.

The collar was tight around his neck, he could feel it pull every time one of the other guys shifted around. The five of them were on their hands and knees, waiting impatiently as the director told Schneider exactly what he wanted while all the cameras got into position. Richard imagined what it would be like if it was just him collared, Schneider gently pulling on the lead, telling him where to go, those high heels clicking as he walks behind him.

There was a sudden tugging around his neck and Richard realised with a jolt that the other guys had started to crawl forward, occasionally snapping at each other, pretending to be Frau Schneider’s dogs. He couldn’t help but glance behind him. Schneider had a haughty look on his face, looking imperiously around, while he slowly strutted forward, his hips swaying with each click of his high heels. Richard hardly remembered the end of the shoot, his brain insistent on going over and over each angle of Schneider in that outfit. 


“What was with you today, Reesh?” Till said, snapping his shirt at his friend’s vacant expression. Richard jumped slightly as the shirt hits him and turned around.

“Huh?” Richard said, suddenly realising all the guys were looking at him. Till shook his head.

“I said, what was with you today? You were in a total daze the whole shoot.” They’re all still in their costumes, Ollie slowly wiping off the white paint from his face.

“Oh, umm, I … well, er,” Richard’s brain helpfully supplied. “Well, I…” Schneider was unhelpfully making eye contact with him, looking at him curiously as Richard attempted to stutter out an answer. “I don’t have an answer,” he finally managed to lamely eke out.

“I didn’t realise it was possible for you to be lost for words,” Paul piped up, cracking a grin at his fellow guitarist. Richard made a face back at him.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” he said. “Come on, let’s get out of these rags.”

“Speak for yourself,” Schneider said. “These are very nice fancy clothes that I’m wearing.”

“Oh, and we did so love to see your very nice fancy lacy underwear, oh Frau of ours,” Paul shot back laughing. Richard found himself speechless again as he thought about said lacy underwear. Thankfully, no-one threw any further questions his way, allowing him to slowly get back into his own clothes.


“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Richard turned to find Schneider looking down at him, his eyebrows quirked up, smudges of mascara and eyeliner still rimming his blue eyes.

“What?” Richard said dumbly.

Schneider looked at him concernedly before dragging him off outside the pub. No-one noticed him being dragged off as Schneider dumped him into a seat outside and thrust a drink forward.

“Sit, drink this, and then tell me what’s going on,” he said demandingly, sitting down opposite him.

Richard opened his mouth to tell some vague lie, sure he could come up with something slightly convincing. Something completely different fell out.

“I think you’re really really hot as Frau Schneider.”

He slammed his mouth shut with a click of his jaw, his eyes widening as he realised what he had just blurted out. He grabbed the drink in front of him and downed it in one swallow before anything else could fall out of his mouth. Schneider sat there with an unreadable look on his face, his pupils so big his eyes looked black, before a small smile showed on his face. Richard wondered if the ground would be kind enough to swallow him whole.

His stomach sank quickly as Schneider stood up, but instead he suddenly found the man sitting right next to him on the bench, leaning forward towards him.

“Tell me exactly what you were thinking about today Reesh,” Schneider enunciated slowly, staring at the other man. Richard felt the oxygen vanish from the air around him as he stared up into Schneider’s regal face.

“Oh, umm, I … well, er,” Richard again stuttered out. He fell silent as Schneider’s hand wrapped around underneath his jaw.

“None of that,” Schneider said. “I want you to tell me exactly what you were thinking about today.” His tone brooked no argument. Richard felt the words being pulled out him, felt like he was under the other man’s spell.

“I was thinking about you as Frau Schneider telling me exactly what to do, telling me to touch myself, to spread my legs,” he whispered. “I was thinking of being collared by you, of letting you do whatever you wanted to me.”

The fingers around his jaw tighten, pressing in hard enough to leave bruises. He swallowed at the sensation, unable to stop the breathy moan from leaving his throat.

“I guess you’re lucky that I kept the costume then.”