“Chuck, sweety, we need to talk”
“Ellie, what is going on?”
“There was an accident”
“Is mom and dad okay?”
“Yeah, they are fine, I think, I still haven’t heard from them since your graduation”
“You look like you’re about to cry”
“It’s about Alex”
“I’m so sorry Chuck”
“No, you’re lying Ellie, he is fine”
“His helicopter was shot down”
“No, where is Morgan?”
“He called me, he is with their parents right now, he didn’t know how to tell you”
“Should I go over there? I need to go over there”
“I’ll drive you”
“Can we stop and get flowers? We should get flowers”
“Chuck you need to pause and take a few deep breaths”
“I loved him Ellie” his voice cracked as he began to sob
“I know” She pulled him into a hug
Chuck remembers the day he met Morgan Grimes, unfortunately, it was because they were both being picked on by Daniel Shaw, ever since that day Chuck and Morgan have been best friends and spend as much time together as they can. It was shortly after they started fifth grade, that Morgan’s mom got remarried and Morgan got an older brother named Alex Coburn. Alex was a grade older with Ellie. Then in high school, Ellie threw a party at their house and when Chuck saw Alex in his swim trunks, he discovered he was bisexual, maybe gay, he hadn’t fully figured it out but he knew he liked Alex, a lot.
After a long day at the Coburn house, Chuck was emotionally exhausted.
Chuck grabbed his headphones and plugged them into his phone, he opened up his music library and played his most listened to song, he sang at the top of his lungs as he collapsed into his bed.
“You were California beautiful, I was playin' everything but cool, I can still hear that sound, of every wave crashin' down, like the tears we cried that day we had to leave, it was everything we wanted it to be the summer of 19 you and me”
Parts of this song reminded him of the best summer of his life, obviously not every detail but close enough.
Just like every summer, ever since Momma Grimes married Mr. Coburn they rented a house on the beach in Florida, and Chuck was always invited.
This summer was extra special though, Chuck and Morgan were eighteen and Alex had just graduated, so it was probably their last summer all together for a while. If only he knew how the time just how true that would be.
“Come on” Alex turned off the t.v.
“Dude we were playing that” Morgan threw a pillow at him.
“It’s our last night at the beach, we should go enjoy it, you two dweebs can play video games at home”
“You’re right, we should go” Chuck sat down the controller.
“Dude no, the ocean is scary especially at night”
“Then you can stay here Grimes” Alex held up a bottle of whiskey “I’m going to enjoy my last night here”
“I’ll come” Chuck got up off the couch “If that’s okay?”
“I asked didn’t I”
“Right” Chuck quickly put on his sandals acting like he wasn’t super excited to spend some alone time with Alex.
Alex took a swig of the whiskey, then handed it to Chuck “Here”
“I’ve actually never had alcohol before”
Alex laughed “It will put some hair on your chest”
“I have hair, kind of” Chuck took a sip and started coughing “Eww, why do people drink this?”
“Not sure, but after a few, you get used to it”
Chuck tried again “I hate it”
Alex grabbed the bottle and took another drink “So what’s next for Charles Bartowski”
“You know you’re the only one allowed to call me that” he gabbed the bottle back “Alexander” he teased. “I still have senior year to survive”
“You’ll be fine”
“I’ve already started filling out college applications”
“Of course you have”
“Speaking of, why haven’t you said what your plan is”
“I didn’t know how to tell you”
“You’re joining the Marines aren’t you?”
Alex nodded, “I leave five days after we get home”
“Where” Chuck tried to keep himself from showing any emotion
“I know it’s what you’ve always wanted, congrats dude”
“Don’t miss me too much” he bumped his arm against Chuck’s
“Gross, I’d never” Chuck went to bump back against him but Alex grabbed his arm and pulled him into a kiss.
“Woah” Chuck stepped back “How much of that did you drink”
“Enough to get the courage to do something I’ve wanted to for a while”
“You don’t get to tell me you like me right before you leave so that I’m more sad and heartbroken when you leave”
“Sorry” Alex started chugging the bottle, but Chuck grabbed it.
“I fucked up”
“Yeah maybe, but I didn’t hate it” he sat the bottle in the sand and grabbed Alex’s hand “Come on” he pulled him into the ocean until the water was up to their knees
“What are you doing Bartowski?”
Chuck shrugged “Making our last night together enjoyable”
“Don’t look at it as the last night together, there will be more, I’ll be back”
Chuck splashed some water at Alex “Sorry I can hear you over the sound of the waves”
“You wanna start a fight with me?”
“Yeah, tough guy” Chuck smirked splashing him again before he took off running.
Alex was a football player so he was in good shape, but Chuck was on the track team and even though they were the same height, Chuck’s legs were longer. Alex thinks Chuck slowed down so he could catch him, he wrapped his arms around Chuck’s waist “Gotcha”
“Sand is difficult to run in” Chuck turned around to look at him
“Yeah, excuses, excuses” they were both breathing heavily as Alex went in for another kiss, this time Chuck grabbed his face and deepened it, their teeth hit “Sorry” Chuck mumbled “I’ve actually never kissed anyone before”
“It’s fine” Alex didn’t give Chuck a chance to say anything, Chuck caught on quickly.
He wasn’t sure how long they were kissing or how they ended up laying in the sand with the waves crashing over their feet when someone shined a flashlight at them.
“I know it’s romantic but you two need to take it inside,” The beach patrol guy said
“Sorry” Chuck mumbled, hoping it was dark enough to hide their erections.
They made their way back to the path that leads to some stairs up to a porch around the rental house.
“Thanks for tonight”
“Who said it needed to end”
“What about your brother, and parents?”
“I have my own room, and there are no lights on, I’m sure we can sneak up if you want”
“I want, but I have sand in places I probably shouldn’t, and a shower may wake them up”
“Outdoor shower” Alex pointed over to the corner of the wooden deck, he grabbed Chuck’s hand pulling him over to it.
“Holy shit it’s cold” Chuck shivered
“It’s just to get the sand and salt off, not a leisurely shower”
“Just don’t look at my dick, it’s in shock”
Alex laughed “I’m a guy too, I understand, now hurry up so I can warm you up” he nibbled on Chuck’s ear lobe.
Alex ran over to the banister where their towels were hanging out to dry from being at the beach earlier and grabbed them both a towel, they quickly dried off and hurried up to Alex’s room trying to be as quiet as possible.
“Do you um have stuff”
Alex cocked an eyebrow “Stuff?”
“Like sex stuff” he mumbled
“No, but I’m sure we can find something, and we are both virgins, and neither of us can get pregnant so we don’t need condoms unless you want to”
Chuck laughed “You a virgin, no way, I’ve heard the stories”
“You heard the rumors from prom night, but the truth is I refused to hook up with Kath and she went and had sex with Conner, not me”
“I’ve heard others”
“Believe what you what, but I’m just as much as virgin as you are”
“I trust you” Chuck watched as Alex dropped the towel that was wrapped around him “Do you have any unscented aloe or lotion for sensitive skin, both can be used as lube, and no I won’t tell you how I know that”
Alex laughed “I have aloe gel, but it’s sticky and kind of thick”
“Is there a first aid kit here?”
“Maybe” Alex shrugged. “I didn’t plan this”
Chuck grabbed a pair of basketball shorts that were sitting on top of Alex’s suitcase and put them on “I’ll be right back.
When Chuck came back into the room, Alex was laying in the bed with the sheet across his hips. “I thought you changed your mind”
“Morgan is asleep on the couch, I didn’t want to wake him up” He held up a small bottle of lotion “This is safe”
Alex shrugged “Okay, I have no idea what I’m doing”
“I don’t either” Chuck took off the shorts and joined him in the bed “I’ve done some stuff by myself, and I’ve seen some porn”
“Good boy Chuck watches porn”
“Shut up” he blushed “You’re not going to act like you’ve never seen porn”
“I have, just got with two guys”
“So are you bi or”
“Do you know if you want to be the pitcher or the catcher”
Chuck laughed. “Um top or bottom, giver or receiver?”
“You could have just said who gets the dick in the ass”
“I was trying to be more polite, and you can if you want but I um finger myself” he blushed “So it would probably be easier for me to receive”
“Sounds good to me”
“Want to try prepping me?”
“That means fingering you right?” Alex blushed and Chuck couldn’t help but kiss him, “You’re adorable”
“Do you want to do this?”
“Yes, just because I know nothing about it doesn’t mean I don’t want to learn” he snatched the bottle of lotion from Chuck’s hand “Are you sure this is okay?”
“Yeah, I’ve done a lot of research and this is the best thing I could find that wouldn’t look out of place in my room and I wouldn’t have to hide lube”
“I might need tips”
“You’re the one supposed to be giving me the tip” Chuck had to cover his mouth to stop his laugh, he didn’t want to wake someone up and ruin his night before it even began.
Alex collapsed on the bed “That was”
“Not at all what I expected”
“Bad or good?”
“Great, wished it lasted longer”
Chuck looked over at the clock “We still have three hours until sunrise, I think we can try again”
“If you want”
“I do, but I was thinking we could try the other way”
“Seriously? You want to bottom?”
“The way you moaned when I hit your prostate makes me want to know what it feels like”
“Yes, one hundred percent I will do that”
“Hey, don’t cry” Alex wiped his tears away.
“I’ve wanted this for so long, and now that it has finally happened you’re leaving”
“I’ll come back to you Charles, I promise” He gave him a quick kiss “Come here, I want to show you something” he climbed out of the bed and picked up a pair of his shorts and tossed Chuck a pair then lead him out to the balcony that was attached to the room. He sat down in one of the plastic chairs, wincing a little as he did.
“I saw that”
“Shut up” he growled pulling Chuck into his lap “It was worth the uncomfortableness”
“Yeah it was” Chuck smirked, looking out over the ocean “The sun is rising, have we really been up all night”
“I’ll miss you, Alex”
“You too Bartowski, you too” Alex kissed the back of his neck.
That was the last time they saw each other.
“Til the sun starts creepin', creepin' up, right then I knew” Chuck was crying so hard he could barely get the words out. “Just what you were thinkin', thinkin' of when I looked at you, T-shirt drippin', drippin' wet. how could I forget?”
“It’s a closed casket”
“My mom said it was bad, really bad, like they mostly just have his dog tags and some D.N.A”
“I’m sorry” Chuck hugged his best friend
“I know we fought a lot, but he was my brother and deep down I loved him”
“Yeah” Chuck knew that feeling all too well “How are your parents?”
“They have cried a lot”
“Should I go say hi?”
“Yeah actually, mom said she has something for you, she said she didn’t trust me with it”
“I’ll be right back”
Chuck took a few deep breaths to calm himself before walking over to them.
“Hi momma Grimes” He last name was technically Coburn now, but she was more of a mother to Chuck than his own mother was and that’s what he has always called her and she told him it was okay to keep calling her that since Morgan’s last name was still Grimes, she tried to changes his last name to Coburn but Morgan didn’t like how it sounded with his first name.
“Chuck, sweety” She pulled him into a hug
“I’m so sorry for your loss, both of you” He then hugged Mr. Coburn
“Thank you, Chuck, I’ll leave you two alone to talk” he squeezed his shoulder. Mr. Coburn was a scary man, which is why he was one of the top lawyers in California, but he was a great father and treated Chuck like his own.
“Morgan said you had something for me?”
“I found some things I thought you would like, they are out in my car if you want to follow me”
“Yeah, okay” Chuck linked his arm in hers as they walked out of the church and into the parking lot.
She popped open the trunk of her car, “There are some pictures of you two in there, some letters he wrote to you while he was in the service that he never sent, they dropped them off with some of his other stuff. I also know how you feel about him Chuck, so I threw in a few of his high school sweatshirts and a football jersey”
Chuck closed his eyes and let the tears fall down his cheeks “Thank you” he picked up the box.
“I know he never said it to you, but he loved you Chuck”
“Probably not, but thanks for saying that”
“He told me about kissing you at the beach, and how you stayed up all night talking and even though you both tried to hide it, I saw the bruises on your necks, I’m the only one who knew, he struggled a lot with his sexuality, but I know how much he admired you. He is just like his dad, they act tough and forget how to talk about their feelings”
“Thanks” he walked over to a bench that was near a beautiful flower garden by the church. He stared at the box for a few minutes before opening it. On top was a grey sweatshirt with a giant navy letter B with a football and their mascot, the Bulldogs, and on the back was Coburn and his football number 25.
He took off his suit jacket and put it on over his button-up, burying his face in the sleeves and taking a deep breath as he began to sob, he didn’t think he had any more tears in him but he was wrong.
He was able to calm himself down enough to continue looking through the box, he pulled out the other clothes and sat them on the bench and grabbed the few pictures, Alex hated his picture being taken so there weren’t many, the first one was a picture from junior-senior prom, it was Chuck, Morgan, Ellie, her boyfriend Devon, Alex and one of Ellie’s friends Kathleen. It was a great night, even though Chuck didn’t like seeing Alex with someone else, it was still a fun night. There were a few other pictures from football games or other events where they were all together, then he got to the last one, it was from the trip they took to the beach when Chuck saw Alex for the last time, it was just the two of them, Chuck was laughing at something and Alex was glaring at him but Chuck could tell he was holding back a laugh. He sat them back in the box the grabbed the stack of envelopes, they were all in order by the date written on the bottom right corner.
He opened the one dated the day he left for boot camp
I made it to Texas, it’s crazy, I’ve wanted this since I was a little kid, and now that I’m finally here, I can’t believe it.
I hate to say it, but I miss you already, I know my last week at home I was an ass to you, and I need to explain, so I hope you let me.
What happened between us at the beach was amazing, and I’ll never regret it, but it scared me. I know how out and proud you are and I admire that about you, but it terrifies me, and I can’t have anyone here know. Yeah I know, I’m a jerk. sorry.
You can hate me if you want, I’ll understand but know that I regret hiding from you because I was scared. again I’m sorry.
I’ll try to write you as much as I can, they said it will be easy while I'm here but it could get harder if I get shipped somewhere, so I’ll do my best.
I can’t wait to hear about your senior year and all the colleges you get into because I know you will achieve great things, Charles Bartowski.
Chuck read through all of them, it was hard but he couldn’t help but smile at all the thought Alex put into writing him almost daily while he was in boot camp. He wished he got these back when they were written so he could respond. A few times he caught himself thinking about his responses before he realized he can’t write back.
Then he got to the last one
This one might be the last one for a while, I’m leaving base camp. I’m getting sent out, I guess I’ll go ahead and mail all these, I’ve been too chicken shit to send them.
I leave in a few days for my first real mission, I have mixed emotions but I’m ready.
They said after this mission we will get to go home for a few weeks, so I might make it to see you and Morgan before you leave for college, if not, I’ll come visit you wherever you are. But then again, maybe you have moved on with your life and you forgot all about that boy who ran away.
See you soon Chuck. I hope.
“I’ll never forget you, Alex, never. I love you so fucking much”
Chuck packed everything back in the box and sat there until Ellie came out to get him. He wished it was raining, just to add to the emotion.
Chuck’s phone chimed
“Is that from the dating app”
“I still hate you for that Morgan”
“No you don’t”
“I don’t want to date”
“You have only dated two people since high school dude, and they are about to get married to each other”
“Doesn’t mean I needed to join a dating app, especially one where you can’t share pictures of your face, that's weird”
“It’s about falling in love with the person, not what they look like”
“It’s all pictures of chests and asses, it’s weird and I got three dick pics last night”
“I don’t see the problem, have you even had sex since we moved to New York?”
Morgan grabbed his phone, “Ooooh look, this guy has abs annnnd is wearing camo pants, maybe you can call him Alex”
“Fuck off” Chuck punched his arm “Go back to your office” he snatched his phone out of Morgan’s hand
“He is ten miles away, get that camo booty Charles” Morgan called as he left Chuck’s office.
“Call me that again I’ll staple your hand to your desk” Chuck called after him
“Harsh dude” Morgan huffed before closing his office door.
Chuck clicked on the notification from the dating app
NerdHQ: Thanks for starting with hello and not a dick pic
MajorJC: I don’t have any
MajorJC: Don’t get the appeal of showing strangers my dick when they didn’t ask.
NerdHQ: Good to know.
NerdHQ: My friend set this up for me and I’m hating it so far because no one wants to have a convo...they just send pics of their junk
MajorJC: I’m down to chat.
MajorJC: So what does your name mean? Because JC are my initials but according to your profile your name is Chuck, is it middle and last?
NerdHQ: Ahh it’s the company I own, HQ as in headquarters, it's a tech company
NerdHQ: Which I guess I shouldn’t have told you since this is supposed to be slightly anonymous and now you can google me
NerdHQ: Charles Irving Bartowski
MajorJC: John Casey, no middle name. Friends call me Casey
MajorJC: I won’t google you
NerdHQ: If you see what I actually look like you might stop talking to me
MajorJC: I highly doubt that
NerdHQ: Who even made this app? What is the point, I get the whole point of getting to know someone not based on looks but is showing off bodies and isn’t that almost the same
NerdHQ: Like I can tell you work out. A LOT
NerdHQ: and you can tell that I spend more time sitting at my desk than running
MajorJC: I’m a Marine, working out is all I do
NerdHQ: Gross lol
NerdHQ: I like running, I was on the track team in h.s….I do it now to keep my stress down but running in NY is a lot harder than it was back in Cali. and treadmills just aren’t the same.
MajorJC:: There is a gym, I’ll have to look it up again, but they have an indoor track that doesn’t suck, I’ll send the info when I find it
MajorJC: Can I ask about the A.C tat on your wrist?
MajorJC: and if you have any more hidden tattoos
NerdHQ: It’s my only one, probably will never get another.
NerdHQ: but a very close friend of mine passed and I got these letters he wrote me when he was in the Marines so I got his initials tattooed in his handwriting
MajorJC: Sorry. I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years, I understand.
MajorJC: and no I don’t have any ink
NerdHQ: I may have a nipple piercing
MajorJC: Don’t have any
MajorJC: You may or you do? I don’t see it in your pics?
MajorJC: Never thought I’d be interested in piercing but I like that
NerdHQ: Perks of joining a frat in college I guess
MajorJC: Why just the one?
NerdHQ: poor college kid?
NerdHQ: So this app says your 10miles away, are you really?
MajorJC: Not right now, I’m actually in Alabama for work but I live in NY for the moment
NerdHQ: I’ve only been here for about 6mnths.
NerdHQ: After I graduated from Stanford my best friend and I started a business and had some offers here in NY that we couldn’t pass on so here I am
MajorJC: I’ve been all over the world. Got assigned to NY but they keep shipping me places for work
NerdHQ: I have a meeting that will probably last a few hours, so don’t think I’m ignoring you.
MajorJC: So you just took that nip pic in your office? Naughty
NerdHQ: I’m the boss, I do what I want. And now I’m blushing
MajorJC: talk to you later.
NerdHQ: Thanks for talking to me, it’s the happiest I’ve felt in awhile
MajorJC: Thought I’d make you feel less weird about sending a nip pic if I sent one
NerdHQ: And for the record, that pic is way better than any of your profile pics. The body hair is so nice.
MajorJC: Because you struggle to grow it.
NerdHQ: wow harsh. But maybe a little jealous.
NerdHQ: Maybe one day it will grow in more.
MajorJC: I’ll cross my fingers for ya.
NerdHQ: Coworker just came in and told me to stop blushing like an idiot at my phone and get to the meeting.
MajorJC: Good thing you’re the boss
NerdHQ: I’m too wore out to google what time it is there….are you still up?
MajorJC: it’s only an hour behind, so it’s 945 here
NerdHQ: I literally forgot I was in NY and not Cali….fuck
NerdHQ: My brain is fried but I had some amazing pizza and the slice was massive yet I somehow managed to eat a soft pretzel with cheese sauce and a hot dog on the walk home with all the toppings.
NerdHQ: those Street vendors really know how to suck you in with the smells and prices
MajorJC: I take it the meeting sucked?
NerdHQ: It wasn’t bad but it was a looooooot of explaining and I felt like I was teaching kindergarten
MajorJC: I don’t understand any of that tech shit
NerdHQ: it’s in my blood, plus the 4 years of college helped
MajorJC: Sounds like you need something to de-stress
NerdHQ: Did you not see the part where I ate too much
MajorJC: something more healthy and safer than running at night and eating all that junk
NerdHQ: I jack off a lot
NerdHQ: I have nooooo idea why I said that. Omg sorry
MajorJC: I’m a guy, I get it
NerdHQ: I started this convo by saying I just wanted to chat and now I’m talking about jacking off
MajorJC: something you want to talk about?
NerdHQ: probably but now I’m just thinking about dick
MajorJC: dick is good
NerdHQ: Should we both just go and come back in 20mins?
MajorJC: We can
MajorJC: or help each other
NerdHQ: I wouldn’t hate that, something about getting off with a stranger is kind of thrilling. Never done that before.
MajorJC: never had a one night stand?
NerdHQ: Went from HS crush to college romance to testing to see if I actually liked girls to walking in on those two sleeping together.
NerdHQ: their wedding is in like three months
MajorJC: What was your final decision on sex with women?
NerdHQ: Dick is better
MajorJC: I’m still not sure, only been with one guy that was worth it.
MajorJC: But I’ve never had a relationship.
NerdHQ: I’m not that attractive I guess
MajorJC: I highly doubt that
NerdHQ: so do we just text or?
MajorJC: We can call through the app, we don’t have to exchange phone numbers yet
NerdHQ: Give me a few minutes
MajorJC: call me when you’re ready.
Chuck: Where are you now?
Casey: Dinosaur, Colorado
Chuck: You’re lying
Chuck: Okay I looked it up and now I want to visit it just for the name, what the hell are you doing there?
Casey: That’s classified
Casey:: Kidding, just stopping for lunch and gas in the middle of a job.
Chuck: You have been to like 20 places in the last 9 weeks we have been talking
Casey: When you’re the best at what you do, you go where you are needed.
Casey: I got you this shirt, do you trust me with your address?
Chuck: I was hoping you could hand deliver it
Chuck: you know more about me than any person I know in real life and you don’t even know what I look like
Casey: I may have googled you
Chuck: Oh no….fuck
Casey: You’re attractive
Casey: I like the curls
Chuck: I’ve cut them off, sorry
Casey: Sure you still look good
Chuck: Sorry still not much chest hair
Chuck: For some reason I’m embarrassed
Casey: I’ll manage
Casey: We have had many late night jackoffs together and now you’re embarrassed
Chuck: Over the phone is easier.
Casey: I should be home soon. I’ll let you know and we can plan from there
Chuck: think you can be in California on the 7th?
Chuck: It would be nice to have a sexy date to a wedding
Casey: You’re going to your ex’s wedding?
Casey: Who said I was sexy?
Chuck: No way, their wedding is tomorrow and I’m sending alllllll the bad vibes their way
Chuck: my best friend Morgan, the one I work with, he is getting married
Casey: I’ll put a request in
Chuck: I’m sure you’re drop dead gorgeous.
Chuck: It’s at the bride’s family owned Vineyard, but dress code is kinda casual.
Chuck turned around recognizing the voice he had heard so many times over the phone. Chuck’s heart sank as he stared into those familiar blue eyes “Alex?” his voice shook
“It’s actually John Casey now”
Chuck slapped him “I hate you, I hate you so much” he collapsed against Casey’s chest and cried as Casey held him tight.
Once Chuck calmed himself down he took a step back “What? How? Why?” he looked around to see if he saw Morgan or his parents
“Since you told me Morgan was getting married, I went to my supervisor and got permission to tell them, I flew out here two days ago and told them everything”
“You’ve been lying to me for over three months”
“I never lied”
“You listened to me cry on the anniversary of your death”
“I couldn’t tell you, not till they knew everyone was safe”
“I never want to see you again”
“Chuck, let me explain”
“NO” he yelled “No, you lost that chance”
“You’re going to have to see me, we are both in Morgan’s wedding party”
“Fine, but don’t you even think about talking to me, or looking at me” Chuck glared at him “Six years Alex, six years” Chuck looked down at the tattoo on his wrist. “You think you can just show up and act like it’s not a big deal that you make a dating profile to trick me into liking you?”
“I didn’t know it was you at first, maybe it was fate. I lost EVERYTHING, you lost one friend”
“You knew we were all alive, you got to know we were fine, we had to grieve. And I didn’t just lose one friend, I lost the guy I was in love with, the guy I thought I’d spend forever with and he was ripped away from me. Everything I’ve ever done every single day of my life I think of you. I have a fucking box full of notebooks of letters I wrote to you, filling you in on every detail like it fucking mattered but my therapist said it might help, and you know how guilty I felt moving on”
“Fuck off” Chuck flipped him off as he walked away.
“What the actual fuck Morgan”
“I take it you found him”
“How are you okay?”
“My brother is back” Morgan shrugged “And my parents are happy”
“Did he tell you that he is the one I’ve been talking online?”
“That Jonh guy you jack off with, gross”
“That’s not all we do” Chuck rolled his eyes “All these months and he didn’t tell me”
“He was undercover, dude you got the man you love back, get over it and go sleep with him, well wait till after I get married. Then you two can be gross and then who knows, maybe in a year or two we will be here for your wedding”
“I can’t just forgive him like that”
“Yeah I’m mad at him too but dude he is a badass now”
“He has always been a badass”
“Okay buddy do whatever, but right now can we focus on me getting married?”
“Go away” Chuck chugged his glass of wine before getting up from the table to walk away.
“I’m having flashbacks to prom when you begged me to dance with you and I didn’t”
“So why do you think I’m going to dance with you now” Chuck finally turned to look at him, he glared when a familiar song came on “How do you know about this song?”
“I don’t know this song, Grimes told me to wait till now to come talk to you, he said this song was important”
Chuck huffed “It was, I hate it now”
“Neither of us have blonde hair”
“Just because every word doesn’t fit our exact story doesn’t mean, you know what nevermind”
“Please dance with me, let me explain, then after the song is over you can make your final decision and I’ll respect it”
“Fine” Chuck followed him out to the dance floor, Casey put his hand on Chuck’s lower back, his other holding Chuck’s hand.
“What do I even call you?”
“So you’ll never be Alex again?”
“Why did you do it?”
“I was picked for an elite black ops team, which is a rare thing and I signed the papers without reading anything because I was young and eager. The next day they killed me in a helicopter crash, tore my dog tags off, took some blood and threw it in the wreckage, they faked a few things, told me Alex is dead and this was my new family. If I tried telling anyone I would be killed for real, or all of you would be in danger”
“What changed now”
“A little birdie informed me about this a certain company called NerdHQ that was a cover for CIA intelligence”
“I work for the NSA Chuck, it’s okay”
“They recruited me in college, I told them I would need help and they let me hire Morgan, is that why you reached out to me on the dating app?”
“No I did that because I liked your pictures, then I saw your name and looked you up in my database and it triggered an alarm and I got pulled in and asked why I was looking up CIA shit. I explained everything to them and they said I could keep talking to you but couldn’t tell you yet, they would have to look into it then when I found out about Morgan I begged to come back to my family and tell them I was alive but I must keep the John Casey cover and only my family can know who I really am, Alex is still dead. Once I found out it was you I thought about stopping the conversations so I wouldn’t hurt you in case we could never meet, but I couldn’t stop”
“I’m confused, I want to hate you, I want to kiss you, I want to yell, I want to never let go, I don’t know”
Casey cupped his face in one hand “I know nothing I say will ever change the pain I put you through, but I just need you to know that I never meant to hurt you”
“I still sleep in your clothes, is that weird?”
“Yes, very weird”
Chuck looked away, but Casey’s hand was still on his face to pull his focus back to him. “I was kidding”
“Al...sorry Casey? John?”
“I like Casey, John is okay, but not Alex, please”
“Right, I’ll do my best”
“Can we try and forget about Alex and move on like this is the first time we are meeting after three months of online fun?”
“I wish it was that easy”
“It can be, what would we be doing if I was just John Casey”
“Probably be sneaking off somewhere to make out like crazy because I’ve waited three months to actually touch you” Chuck rested his head on Casey’s shoulder, he closed his eyes, taking in the familiar smell that was long gone from the clothes he kept. “And for the record, I was right, you are fucking gorgeous”
Casey’s laugh made him smile. “I still miss your curls”
Chuck took a step back then turned and started to walk away, he got a few feet away and turned to see Casey standing there watching him ”Just gonna stand there or are you gonna follow?” he playfully bit his bottom lip.
Casey smirked “Don’t have to ask me twice”
“Where are we?”
“Does it matter” Chuck pulled his shirt off, Casey reached out and ran his hand down his chest, his thumb stopping to move the bar of metal through his left nipple “Fuck Bartowski”
“Don’t look that impressed”
“But I am” Casey tugged his shirt off
“Sure” Chuck rolled his eyes as he unbuttoned Casey’s pants “I’m going to suck your dick” Chuck started to get down on his knees but Casey stopped him
“Hey, how about we kiss first”
Chuck hesitated for a moment before surging forward, he didn’t want to sound cheesy, but he is pretty sure he saw fireworks. He moaned as Casey’s hands slid down the back of his pants and squeezed his ass. He remembered their first kiss, it tasted like whiskey, now here they are kissing again and it tastes like wine, he hoped the next time they kissed he could taste Casey. Casey, that name is going to take some getting used to.
Casey pulled back just enough to look into those brown eyes “Hey, you okay”
Casey’s right hand gripped his hair pulling his head back, exposing his long neck, he licked up the length before sucking lightly on his promenade adam’s apple, not wanting to leave a mark but it was hard to resist.
“Holy shit Casey, please don’t make me come in my pants before we get to the good stuff”
Casey laughed against his skin “Can’t make that promise”
“I’ve been wanting to suck your dick since the first time we had phone sex, well I guess technically I’ve wanted to since I knew what a blow job was”
Casey smirked kissing him roughly before pushing him down to his knees.
Chuck was so eager, but now that he was kneeling there eye level with the dick of almost all his fantasies he started to worry a little, he licked his lips trying to get his breathing under control.
Casey reached down grabbing his face, his thumb running over Chuck‘s bottom lip “Don’t feel like you have to do this”
“I’m going to do this, and you’re going to love it” he wrapped his long fingers around the thick length, gently stroking along it, the foreskin moving with his hand motion. “It would be weird to thank your parents for not circumcising you right?”
Casey laughed, “Very weird, please don’t”
“Your dick is perfect” his tongue darted out to grab the drop of precome, lapping at it a few times before sliding it into his mouth. He’s pretty sure he can’t manage to get all of him in his mouth, but he’s also pretty sure he’s going to try.
Once the low growls and moans from Casey became a constant stream Chuck moved his hand from where it was stroking from the base to his mouth, to take more, then the door open.
“Oh come on, seriously” Chuck turned to see Morgan standing there with his eyes covered. “It’s my wedding day, I’m supposed to the one getting a blow job, gross gross gross ugh I did not need to see that”
“Then you better leave because he isn’t going to stop then it’s my turn” Casey smirked.
Morgan gagged, “Well congrats both of you, and lock the door next time” he turned the lock on the door before leaving and shutting it behind him.
Chuck looked up at Casey, his eyes watery, cheeks flush and lips wet, such a beautiful sight, Casey knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.
“I’m going to continue”
Chuck lowered himself slowly, letting his jaw open and his mouth go slack, his lips stretching around Casey’s thickness, he gagged a little before he got to the base so he stopped, but one day, he will get it all. The amount of drool dripping down his chin was probably gross, but it made the slide of his hand at the base of Casey’s dick slide easier. Plus he didn’t care what he looked like because this feels good. It feels really really good having this small part of Casey inside of him again.
He found a rhythm, matching with the slight rock of Casey’s hips. He trusts Casey not to push too far. The fingers in his hair tighten, he moaned, hopefully, that let Casey know it was okay to come in his mouth,
There’s a low groan, Chuck could barely make out the sound of his name, his mouth quickly filling, he swallowed what he could before pulling off, the final bit hitting his lips and dripping down his chin as his right hand continued to stroke him, his left gripped his own erection silently begging himself to not come.
Casey gripped his wrist to stop him “Trying to kill me”
“Not funny” Chuck glared at him.
Casey chuckled “Didn’t mean it like that, but if your hand keeps moving I’m not going to able to return the favor” he pulled Chuck up, still holding his arm he looked at his old initials inked into his skin, he could tell Chuck used the letter’s he had written him from boot camp to copy his writing. He rubbed his thumb over it, “I love you, Charles, I always have, and I’m sure I always will and I wish so much that I could go back in time and take all the pain and hurt away, but if you’ll let me, I’d like to do my best trying to make the rest of your life as pain-free as possible”
“Are you proposing? That sounds like a proposal”
“That was not a proposal, I’m not proposing to you with my dick hanging out”
“Well if you were, I’d say yes” Chuck looked at him with eyes full of shyness and hope
“I love you” He paused “John Casey and that will never change, yeah I might be a little mad at you right now, but we have lost so much time together and I never want to let go of you again”
“So it’s good news that I put in a transfer and next week when we get back to New York I’ll be reporting to the NerdHQ building for my new assignment”
“We are totally going to have sex on my desk, ever since I got that big ridiculous office I’ve had many fantasies of you bending me over my desk, or on your knees under it”
“I think the minister is still here”
“That’s only how it works in the movies but we have to get a license and stuff first, trust me I know this well because Morgan almost forgot to get his but one day I’ll marry you”
“Yeah probably best we don’t get married with my come all over your face” he smirked “My turn?”
“Yeah, god please”
“Where are we?”
“The point of blindfolding you to and from the plane was so you didn’t know”
“Fine, but you still haven’t told me how you managed a private plane”
“I told you, I’m the best at what I do, and the government loves me”
“Good to know”
Casey grabbed his hand “I’m going to lead you outside”
Of course, Chuck tripped over nothing, making Casey laugh as he caught him. “You can’t even manage ten steps”
“Shut up” Chuck pressed his cheek against Casey’s hand as he felt it on his face. “I hear the ocean”
Casey kissed him gently as he untied the soft red silk from around Chuck’s eyes, he was going to save that for later, Chuck always looked good in red.
Chuck blinked a few times to adjust to the bright sun, he looked around at the all too familiar house, the same beach house that held so many memories “Casey”
“I hope you still have only good memories of this place?”
Chuck looked over at the outdoor shower at the other end of the porch “Well that’s the first time I saw you naked, so yeah” he teased. “Why are we here?”
“Two reasons, first is that we now own this place”
“I offered way to much money to the owners”
“We can’t just move to Florida...Can we?”
“We can do whatever we want Chuck, all your work is online and I travel, or we can stay in New York and come here for vacations and rent it out when we aren’t here”
“What’s the second reason”
“Everyone we know and love is waiting for us down at the beach” Chuck looked down the path from their porch, he could barely make out the group of people close to the water. “What is going on”
“A little over two month ago you said you wanted to marry me, so here we are”
“You planned a secret wedding?”
“Your sister planned a secret wedding with minimal input from me”
“I don’t have a ring, we don’t have rings”
“Your sister bought some cheap plastic rings for us to use for the ceremony and we are going to a jewelry store tomorrow”
“Are you okay, this was stupid, I’m so sorry”
“I’m freaking out yes, but this is not stupid at all, I’m overwhelmed with every emotion possible”
“Promise” Chuck kissed him “I love you, John”
“Love you, Charles”
“Just one really important question, when we have kids can we give them an A name, obviously not Alex, but something that makes my A.C. tattoo mean something”
Casey laughed “Does that mean you’re taking my last name?”
“We are hyphenating them”
“So just add a J at the start and a B at the end”
“Jacb? Is that some odd spelling for Jacob?”
“John Alexander Casey-Bartowski you moron”
“That’s not your middle name”
“Not yet, but when we change our last names I was going to make it my middle name”
“I love it”
“So can we get hitched now”
“I don’t have vows”
“I don’t either, just speak from the heart”
“Come on hubby” Chuck grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the stairs that lead to the path.
“Never call me that again”
“I can’t commit to promising that”