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may your death be swift.

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hate enveloped her limbs, snuck into her heart and took control of her mind. she hit and hit and hit so many times she couldn't feel her hands. the punching bag against her. she couldn't feel anything. she was breathing erratically, desperately. and despite that, she still couldn't breathe. tears were dripping down her bloody cheeks like a waterfall, spit and snot mixing together. 

 

she was so fucking angry. 

 

she greedily drank gulps of air, lungs aching. her pupils were wide, like she had just snorted a bunch of cocaine. she certainly felt like it. her bruised hands which were covered in bloody hand wraps went to her sides.

 

she suddenly fell on the floor, sobbing. all the pent up frustration and misery she had held inside of her started coming out. everything was currently going to shit. 

 

she felt like someone had shot her in the head multiple times and then spat on her dead body. actually no, she felt like someone had reached into her chest and tore out her still beating heart. 

 

was it fucking abby that killed them? no, that wouldn't make sense. 

 

she didn't care at this point. she didn't care who did it.

 

she was unhinged, screaming like a madman. her throat was hoarse. she didn't care.

 

her body was shaking, either with anger or because she was cold. probably both. cold puffs of air were coming out of her chapped lips. 

 

she started laughing hysterically. she didn't know why. 

 

her voice was rough and her throat hurt. but everything hurt right now. 

 

her eyesight was blurry. 

 

her ears were ringing.

 

she tried to focus. on something. anything

 

she stared at the guitar.

 

joel.

 

"joel get up. joel fucking get up!"

 

she looked at the bracelet on her wrist.

 

dina.

 

"i don't want to lose you." 

 

her eyes moved down to her tattoo.

 

jackson.

 

jesse.

 

"what the hell are you doing here?"

 

she let out another piercing scream, even more terrifying than the clickers. they might even mistake her as one of their own if they were around. she hoped they would. she hoped they would kill her. 

 

joel. jesse. dina. jj. 

 

all gone. 

 

ellie stared at the handgun she had placed on the floor. 

 

she was numb, empty, hollow.

 

she didn't come here with the intention to take her own life, but thinking about it now, she should have. she should do it. 

 

what's there to live for now, anyways? 

 

what was the point?

 

she picked it up and ran her hands over it.

 

the room was quiet. 

 

she turned off the safety. a click. 

 

joel. jesse. dina. jj.

 

"my life would have fucking mattered."

 

well it didn't matter now, did it? not without them.

 

a gunshot echoed throughout the room.