"Susan Welker, dear friend, sister and aunt" Lois tried to ignore the speaker, stared at the coffin.
There was Susan, her sister, the girl she once promised to protect. The girl who smiled playfully at her, the girl who cheered her on when her parents locked her in the closet.
Susan who was there for her until she messed with her boyfriend, that day when she did not treat her the same again.
But before, Susan was the sister who would kill for you.
She almost killed Cindy Mayer, and that was after they got into a fight.
At six years old, she hit a boy so hard for taking her lunch box from Lois, so much so that no one bothered her all year after. The following year, Lois learned to defend herself, but Susan still cared for her.
Susan was someone aggressive, unlike Lois who was more neurotic and controlling. No, Susan was calm as a beast. A beast that protected her herd, someone who waited patiently to attack. Something that I have developed since she was just a little girl.
Something that must have been her parents' fault.
They did not love Susan right away, when they were little they were treated the same. Until she won his first contest, until she managed to knock her down in fights, until she surpassed her in everything.
There they wanted her, there they began to compare them, there they upset them both. It all became a competition, a competition that she lost all the time.
But Susan did nothing, only sought to please her parents. The same thing that Lois searched so hard, and didn't get.
Make no mistake, Susan was crazy, just like her parents. Just like her, just like her whole family.
She had too many grudges, nothing was wrong with her. She was a calculator, looking for your flaws and emphasizing them.
But, who in her family was not like that?
But her four-year-old self knew it, and that day she promised her little sister wouldn't be like that. She promised that she would be strong for both of them, and she promised that Susan would grow up with a sister that she would love and cherish.
That is her biggest failure.
Because not only did he not protect her, no. She got with her boyfriend, in his car.
She betrayed his sister, she hurt her.
And then there was the apple pie incident.
She was very sorry for what happened, she loves Hal. But it could have happened another way, one that won't hurt anyone.
And even though he gave her his kidney, it didn't change much. It remained the same, they spoke little, and Susan went to visit them a month ago.
Her first girl "Agata" was two months old, Susan brought her a check for her university. That must have given her a deja-vu, it was the same thing she did with Jamie. Susan was dying, again.
Doesn't know why, she didn't tell her either. A friend called them, she died in her apartment.
Now she looked around her, saw her children, her husband.
And that was all he knew, the others were friends of Susan who she did not know. People who cried for their loss, cried dearly. There was her book club, her chess club, friends from the neighborhood, and from work.
She sees her mother out of the corner of her eye, she stopped smoking after Susan's group of friends scold her.
She wonders if those people heard from her, they organized the funeral. They served the deceased's favorite food, humming a song that Susan was humming.
They were her friends.
Lois wished she had known them more. Just as she wished she had settled things with her sister.
But that does not matter, Susan is dead and can no longer be. Now she must be strong, she must listen in silence.
But she prefers to remember a little more, to remember her sister as the girl she was.