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There is no way this is really happening. No fucking way. This can’t be real. You must have gone mad. Or died. Oh no, your mother will be devastated. Your family does not have enough money to pay for a funeral let alone a psychiatrist. No, there is no way you’re staring at Kim Taehyung’s eyes.

“Ya, Tannie… what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost”, he asks and looks at you. What is happening? You want to question or even shake the idol in front of you, but all you can hear is a… bark?

What. The. Hell, you think and title your head to the side. Taehyung copies your movement and crouches down lower.

“Baby, talk to me!”, he whines. Yeah, you’ve gone insane. The hospital bills will put even your brother’s son’s children in debt.

You try to suppress a sniffle as you can feel your eyes water.

“No, no, no, no, no”, the idol cries and falls completely to the floor. His hands touch your fur while he whispers calming words into your ear.

“I'll only be gone for two hours”, he starts to bargain with you, “three hours tops!” Now he is scratching a sensitive spot right under your ear and all your emotions shortcut.

Taehyung looks at you with a knowing smirk on his lips and continues to give you pets.

“And I’ll even bring you back some strawberries”, he adds. After a moment of silence the idol backtracks. “Obviously we’d have to share.”

“Don’t look at me like that, Tannie. Sharing is caring”, Taehyung says and retreats his hand before standing up. You whine.

“Don’t you looooove me like I love you?”, he sings as he moves around the room. There is a branded gym bag on the ground which he slings over his shoulder. Then the man stares down at you.

“No?”, he asks and gives you a pout. “Even though I’d share hyung’s strawberries with you?”

You can only stare at the idol as he steps closer to the door. After he puts his right hand on the handle, his other clutches his heart in mock pain.

“Boy, you’re giving me whiplash with your mood swings. If you’re keeping this up, we’ll be in couples therapy in no time.”

You can’t move a muscle as you watch him leave. There are some movements, keys jiggling and then you hear a front door open.

“Hah, Jin would have a filled day with that… me and my dog sitting on a couch discussing our relationship”, you hear him chuckle and then the sound of a door closing follows.

You don’t know how long you’re staring at the wall – it could have been hours. But after the first shock leaves your bones you take a deep breath and look down… at your paws.

Ah, freakedy frack, what the hell? With tiny steps you move around the room; glad that Taehyung has left the door open. Soon one can hear your claws tapping on the granite floor. You’re not sure where to find what you are looking for. But your path takes you directly to your destination – a floor-length mirror.

Before you can chicken out, you face yourself… only to stare at Yeontan, Taehyung’s famous pomeranian. You scream but all you hear is a loud bark.

Jep, you’ve gone insane, you think and shift in front of the reflection. The dog’s eyes look just as frightened as you feel. Which – you guess – makes sense. The dog is you.

Maybe you’re just asleep. Yeah, that’s it! Why would you jump to the conclusion of death or insanity? You’re just not awake. Of course, maybe you fell asleep during a RUN marathon and your laptop is slowly overheating while you drool on your touchpad. Man, your neck will hurt like hell tomorrow.

You nod at Yeontan in the mirror as the fear leaves his eyes. You’re quite a bit ashamed of yourself while you retreat to the room you came from. Due to your height the view is limited but with a craned neck you make out a soft bed, a desk overflowing with energy drinks and scribbled papers, and a dark wooden dresser. This must be Taehyung’s bedroom, you think.

The shame you felt moments ago is now mixed with embarrassment as you lay down in front of his bed. Yeah, this is just a dream, but it’s still really creepy of dream-you to come up with this scenario. Haven’t you heard anything about privacy? This is as close as one can come to being a sasaeng, you scold yourself. As soon as morning comes, you will have a serious talk with yourself. Maybe you’ll have to do a BTS detox. Yeah, a week without checking their Twitter will do you good.

Now all you have to do is sleep in your dream, so you’ll wake up with human hands. Wow, the bar is very low, you chuckle and close your eyes.

**

You awake with a confused yap leaving your mouth as you loose the ground under your body. Your eyes fly up and meet Taehyung’s stare. He looks deep in thoughts and places you onto the soft mattress of his bed.

“Why are you on the floor, Tannie?”, he asks with worry and fluffs the pillows next to you. “Why do I get the feeling you’re really, really mad at me?”

All you do is stare up at the idol who you’ve worshiped for close to five years. His hair is a cerulean blue and you try to remember the last pictures you saw of him – didn’t he have dark hair then? He must have recently dyed his hair, you think. The vibrant color suits him, his soft curls shifting lively while Taehyung walks up to his desk.

“The ground can’t be comfortable, baby”, he says and organizes some of the scattered papers. After that he begins to stack the empty cans of taurine; you count five of them and can’t help the shake of your head when Taehyung himself looks proud of his accomplishment. Doesn’t he know how unhealthy energy drinks are?

Soon he walks back to you – some of the papers in his hands – and sits down right next to your figure. The man places the sheets behind him before he pets your head.

“What did I do, baby?”, he whines as he doesn’t get the reaction he expected. Taehyung didn’t do anything wrong; you are the fault in this moment. You – a fellow 95-liner, an ARMY, a Yoongi stan, a hard-working university student – are definitely not his dog. But you can’t deny the pleasure sparked by his soft touch. You can feel his fingers moving through your thick fur. You are so going to hell for this, you think as you begin to hum.

The idol chuckles and continues his pets and you begin to enjoy every rub of your ears. You don’t notice the movement at first, but soon you feel the warmth of his tights. You must have shifted closer to his person while he continues to praise you with words and touches. Now, you are neatly pressed against his shorts and Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to pick you up and drop you on his lap.

“There, that’s better than the cold floor, right?”, he says and you squirm a bit while you try to get into a comfortable position on his tights. Much like you’d imagined, the idol has a defined body, so his quads present you with a firm ground to lay down.

Still, you long for the floor just so you don’t have to feel the shame traveling across your body. You’re not going to hell for this, not even the devil will want such a freak in his midst. But as you look into Taehyung’s dark eyes you can’t bring yourself to jump off his lap. His iris is lit with content while he watches your slow breathing. He is excited to have you – his pup – close to him.

So, this is not a dream, you conclude. Which dream would have a napping sequence within? And not to mention how real his body feels underneath you. You try to eliminate any chances as you try to bite yourself in the paw. Ouch, you whine with a throaty whimper.

“What are you doing, Yeontan?”, Taehyung exclaims in surprise. He moves your nose away with one hand while he cradles your assaulted paw in his other. The idol inspects your leg with care and crouches down. His stomach is now pressed against your back as you feel his hair right next to your ear. It tickles you, but at the same time the strong scent of his shampoo that invades your nose calms you down fast. The thick odor of roses is all consuming as you begin to understand why dogs are used during drug searches. Their scenting ability is freighting incredible. You can’t help the whimper that escapes your mouth as you press your face against his soft hair.

His curls smell like security and you try to get closer to his hairline while Taehyung is still trying to examine the damage.

“Don’t hurt yourself, baby”, he scolds you and turns his head so he can kiss your black fur. Now that you can look directly in his eyes you feel lost in the depth of their color.

All you manage to do is nod your head in a nonverbal promise. Taehyung smiles at your obedience and places a second kiss right behind your ear. This must be a pretty vulnerable spot for his pup because you can’t help but close your eyes in bliss.

So, this is definitely not a dream; maybe this is some unnatural body switch. But even as you think about it you can’t imagine Yeontan waking up in your human body. He sure is smart, but surviving a pre-med class? Or dear god, even driving to university would be a nightmare as you imagine the cute pomeranian behind a wheel.

But what happened to Taehyung’s dog if you’re right now cuddling up to his owner? Did you… did you eliminate a poor puppy? No, you think as you can feel your tiny heart beating abnormally fast. There is no way that Yeontan is not safe and sound somewhere.

The idol notices your anxiety and holds you tighter. You try to think of a more helpful strategy instead of imagining the infamous dog sitting somewhere dark, all alone. No, you’ll focus on getting out of this situation. And that means getting more information, any kind as to the date.

You didn’t travel space, body and time, you decide while your stare is fixated on his bright hair color. You distinctly remember him with faded blondish strands the last time you saw airport pictures at the beginning of the week. And there is no way in hell you would have missed such a… vibrant phase of Taehyung’s hair evolution. Even though he is not your bias, his appearance is always such a sight.

You mean you’re imprisoned in an animal body, who – you are sure you’ve read that somewhere – does not see colors clearly. Still your eyes rest on the blue, it’s intensity rivaling Taehyung’s stare which is fixated on your small figure.

The idol doesn’t know what is wrong with his pup today, but he takes your interest in him as a good sign. With your focus solely on him, he move the both of you without your notice. So it’s no wonder you flinch when you do note your changed position.

Taehyung has pushed the both of you farther into the bed until his upper body leans against a few pillows. He is not lying completely flat, but this is definitely more horizontal than before. Now you are placed on his stomach, your front paws right on his chest. You feel your body being lifted up and down due to his breathing and observe the idol from your new vantage point.

Now that your instant shock has left you, you finally see the tired lines under his eyes, how every movement of his face looks slower than normal. Your idol looks exhausted, you think and remember the gym bag he had with him as he left the apartment.

Huh, he must have been working out. You shift around slightly to test your theory and would have blushed – if you were able to – at the firmness under your feet. Jup, definitely a work out.

Taehyung groans in response and pushes you off his chest. Your landing is cushioned by the thick blanket, but you still sound like a hurt child with the yelp that leaves your mouth.

“Tannie… don’t be mean”, he whines and rubs his chest. “After two hours of weightlifting with Kookie everything is sore.”

And before you even think about apologizing – in some form – the idol tries to lift himself up. There is real pain twisting his face muscle. And then he is pulling off his t-shirt. Lord have mercy, you cry, closing your eyes. But the damage is done; his well defined honey colored chest forever burned into your memory.

“Come on, let’s sleep”, he says with a suppressed yawn in his voice while he falls back against the pillow mountain behind him. Again, you don’t have any time to escape before his long fingers grasp your body and cuddle you against his bare chest.

Your fur is trickling his chin, but instead of pushing you farther away, Taehyung presses you closer. You hear a content moan slip between his lips as he inhales your scent. His slowed heartbeat calms you down in moments. The only sounds in the now darkened bedroom are his deep breaths against your fur and your short huffs. You will your inner thoughts to stop screaming at yourself – the constant yelling to take action, to stop enjoying the closeness of the idol, is making your tired brain frail. Being a dog is taking a toll on you; the constant surprises are quite tiresome.

There is nothing you can do right now. Tomorrow presents possibility, maybe Taehyung will be gone again. His schedule must be tight. The hair color is your first clue that a comeback must be around the corner. And working out with Jungkook? No man would welcome that pain if there is not some higher reason behind it.

So, the idol must have a packed day which presents you with much needed time and room to explore. You try to be engulfed with Taehyung’s presence, something your body recognizes as home. When you will yourself just enough, you can abstract your person from this situation. This is a dog owner with his pup. It’s not abnormal that you sleep together. Right, you nod and fall asleep with Taehyung’s heartbeat in your ear.

**

You stare at the sleeping idol as you feel the warmth of the morning sun on your fur. Taehyung looks like a statue, the occasional deep breaths the only evidence of his living state. You’ve been up for a long time – or it just feels like a long time. But doesn’t it always when you have to pee?

Still, you can’t seem to disturb the blue haired boy in front of you. His features are as soft as your pillow which makes him look so young you would have cooed if you could. All the exhaustion has vanished from is face and there is no way you want to ruin this peaceful quiet.

But your bladder is screaming at you and this body is too new to estimate how urgent it is. Going from how heavy your stomach feels and how difficult it gets to suppress your whines, you think there is no other way. You don’t want to pee in Kim Taehyung’s bed while he’s asleep. That’s just not an acceptable way to start your day… in the body of a dog.

Before the helpless noise can escape your throat, the door of his bedroom opens. Your head snaps to the opened space, the animal instincts taking over, only to face a woman looking at you with a kindhearted smile.

“Oh, my boys”, she whispers so quietly you’re sure the human next to you hadn’t heard her.

Then she steps into the room and walks to the bed. With practiced care she starts to pet your head. The woman looks old enough to be Taehyung’s mother. You’re kind of proud of yourself for not obsessing over the idol so much, you’d recognize his parents.

Rich coming from the person who could recognize Yoongi's brother in seconds, a voice scolds in your head and you roll your eyes at the mockery.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me, Tannie?”

Well, not the first impression you wanted to leave with his mother. Soft licks against her wrist seem to be apology enough as she shakes her head.

“You’re forgiven. Let’s get you out for a walk, little one. This boy needs all the sleep he can get”, she explains like you’d understand her while lifting you off the bed.

The oh so silent idol groans as he feels the absence of your warmth. But a look confirms your suspicion that Taehyung hasn’t woken up. He still rests against the bedding and if your bladder wasn’t alarmingly present in your mind, you’d demanded to lie back down with him.

The woman closes the door with a click behind you and Taehyung’s frame vanishes from your eyesight. Immediately your discomfort is heightened, now that you have all your focus on it.

She coos at your desperate whimpers and fastens her steps. Soon the both of you are out of the door – a stylish harness around your upper body. The woman chuckles at you dancing in front of her by hopping fast from side to side.

The outdoors confirms another suspicion; you are in Seoul. The green around you crashs into your nose with thousands of smells – the scrambled eggs from a breakfast bagel, the thick sweat of some morning joggers, two… no three… other dogs and the faint fumes from the cars to your left. You yap happily as you run to the nearest tree to do your business.

You don’t know how long your walk takes, but you see so many things your brain feels heavy with discoveries. The fellow puppy who barked at you left you feeling sad. Then some pedestrians feeding you a grape cheers you up so much, you don’t focus enough and nearly crash into a bike. The woman screamed at you in horror which embarrassed you.

All the mood swings tier you out fast, so you’re sighing in relief when you make out the familiar building. Taehyung’s mother chatted with you as if you were a friend, her topics circling around a dinner with colleagues and some important business conference she has to join tomorrow. Then she talked about Taehyung’s stamina being tested with this comeback and how she worries about her son. That’s when you get the confirmation about their relation.

You dash around her feet as to not seem too invested in her storytelling. You are a dog after all. A dog that’s now extra worried about its owner. She lets you into the apartment and you smell him before you see the idol sprinting to the entrance.

“Mum, you didn’t have to”, Taehyung says and crouches down in front of you. His eyes shine with excitement as he picks you up – not even taking off the harness beforehand – and crushes you to his chest.

He must have showered; his strong scent clouded by the fresh smell of sandalwood. Nevertheless, you recognize him and press your nose closer to his neck. There his smell is still pure and you huff in content.

“Was my baby good?”, he asks his mother while bouncing you around, moving straight to the kitchen.

“Tannie was a good boy”, she answers and winks at you out of Taehyung’s eyesight. You wink back and see the surprise in her eyes before Taehyung demands your attention.

“I made you breakfast, Tannie”, he sings and drops you to the floor, but only after squeezing you against him one last time. There, right next to the table, sits a ceramic bowl filled with some kibbles and cut strawberries.

They must be from Seokjin – his oldest member. He is sharing them with you, which warms your heart remembering all the behind the scenes clips where he declared his love for the sweet fruit.

You dash to your food, not looking back at the idol who smiles into his green tea as he watches you devour your meal. You seem to be in a better mood this morning, he notices in relief. Still, your weird acting from yesterday is on his mind and he starts to think… maybe…

“Ah, you know what, Tannie?”, Taehyung exclaims and you flinch at his boastful tone. Your mouth is decorated with crumbles while you swallow the unique food down and look at the idol.

“You'll come with me today!” Say what? “It’ll be so much fun!” For whom? You barely survived your morning walk without being killed by a bike. “You’ll get to see the MV set!” At what cost? The last shred of your sanity? “And you can catch up with the hyung!” Well, who are you to deny your owner?

**

“Seok?”, Taehyung asks as a stylist twists his curled hair into position. Both him and Hoseok sit in front of a mirrored wall, getting ready for the first round of promotion shoots. The blue haired idol is dressed in a comfortable pink bathrobe with decorative feathers around his neck. His eyes are focused on his older friend while the rapper’s nose is buried in his smartphone.

“Hmm?”

“Do dogs get depressed?”

Now Taehyung has his undivided attention. The iPhone is neglected as Hoseok stares at the singer. “Come again?”

Taehyung’s face turns sour. “Yeontan is acting strange.” As if to make a point, the idol motions his head in your direction. You are very much distracted by all the colorful pastels around you. Your eyes try to capture every single detail, the dimmed lights, the relaxed outfits of everyone and the seven most famous idols clustered in the space.

Avoiding any of their faces, afraid they’d pay you attention, you’re clinging to the staff member who holds you secure in her arms. The Army in you is delighted at the insight you are getting, so it’s no wonder your tail is wagging fast.

“He doesn’t even want to sit with me”, Taehyung whines. “Yesterday he slept on the floor. The floor, hyung!”

“Maybe he feels abandoned?”, Hoseok offers, remembering all the times Mickey would ignore him after the end of a successful tour overseas. “You are prepping hard for this comeback. We all are.”

Taehyung nods deep in thoughts. Are you feeling neglected? Taehyung was always under the impression that between him, his parents and the dog walker you’re well taken care of. But maybe you did miss him due to his late practices. Maybe you both need some alone time?

“Maybe you should sign him up for an idol pet support group?”, the maknae chimes in as he plows down on the couch next to the make-up station. Taehyung has to chuckle as he remembers yesterday’s therapy idea.

“Or maybe I’ll just cancel our work out tonight”, he teases and Jungkook huffs outraged.

“But look at your chest, Tae! Don’t stop now!” The youngest sounds more like a motivational speaker than his friend and Taehyung shakes his head, now that the stylist has stepped away satisfied with Taehyung’s appearance. “Maybe tomorrow, Kookie.”

**

You are still fascinated by the set as the staff moves around pointing out some of the props as if you were a toddler instead of a puppy. You listen with interest, your ears pointed close to her lips so you don’t miss any kind of information. This comeback looks like the biggest they have ever done. And if you understand her mentions right, an American singer will be featured as well. You can’t suppress the excited pants escaping your mouth.

Before long the idols are called on the set, all of them dressed in soft fabric and most of them with bright smiles on their faces. Just Yoongi and Taehyung look a bit distracted. While the rapper is inhaling his iced americano, the singer looks around the set until his eyes meet your glistering stare. He can see you squirming in the staff’s arms as you try to get closer to his members. He chuckles softly, not really understanding your mood swings. During the car ride here, he couldn’t recognize his puppy. You were shaking like a rattlesnake. If he didn’t know better he’d have thought you were never in a car before. As soon as you guys arrived on set, you were quick to abandon him in favor if the female staff who didn’t hesitate to pick you up.

Taehyung shakes his head and lets a professional smile slip on his lips. It’s time to perform his money’s worth. Immediately the photographer greets them before he and his nervous assistant move the idols around the small prepped bathroom. Taehyung’s gets to kneel in the front, his face closest to the camera lens. He tries not to check on you too often, but as soon as the photographer changes his equipment, his eyes rest on your moving figure. You escaped the staff member and are now roaming around the set with your nose pressed to every object within reach.

You look like you are on a treasure hunt or a RUN episode and he – endeared – smiles at you.

“We’ll take a short break; good work, boys!”, the man behind the camera exclaims and some of the staff clap, proud that everything is going smoothly today. Taehyung steps away from the group to move closer to you. Suddenly he crouches down, getting your attention in milliseconds.

You really were trying to ignore your favorite idols, their constant laughter too much for your fangirling heart. But then you see the shock of blue hair in your peripheral vision. And without any control of your body, your eyes move to Taehyung, who is only a feet away. He smiles when he feels your attention on him and motions for you to join him. Again, you do not even think and spring to the idol with tiny but quick steps. Suddenly your paws do not touch the ground anymore and you japs in fright. With a craned neck you make out the corners of a gummy grin.

Yoongi has captured you mere inches away from your owner and your eyes get bigger by the second. The Min Yoongi is holding you. Your favorite rapper, the inspiration to many of your own writings, is embracing your body. You want to giggle so badly, but there is only a chortled howl escaping your throat.

“Yaaaah”, Taehyung whines with layered jealousy as he watches how his own puppy is trapped under the spell of his grumpy colleague. You don’t even notice the others approaching – you try to memorize every detail of your bias. His cheeks are full and so is your heart, concluding that he eats well.

“Get your own damn dog to set”, Taehyung scolds and earns a slap on the back from his leader. Soon Jungkook’s hands are buried in your fur and you purr in bliss.

“Who is the best doggy?”, Jimin asks in his best baby voice and gets between Yoongi’s and your face – simultaneously blocking your sight of the rapper.

“Don’t answer that, Tannie!”, the oldest chimes in and pets your head as he looms over the smallest member. “It’s a trap. Jimini loves Holly like his own.”

What? How can the vocalist choose Yoongi’s puppy over you? You are… uhm you mean Yeontan is… adorable. Your eyebrows furrow in displeasure and you try to move away from Jimin.

“Is… is he pouting?”, Hoseok asks fascinated by your facial expression. Taehyung points at your eyebrow, pushing it into a more relaxed position with mocked force.

“See?!”, your owner exclaimed, “Tannie is going through stuff.”

Some of Bangtan chuckle while Taehyung wrestles you away from the rapper. The distance to your bias grows as the singer presses you closer to his chest, cradling you to his body and hiding you from his members at the same time.

“That’s why I’m skipping cardio tonight”, he states and buries his nose in your dark fur.

“You have to be kidding”, Namjoon mutters and tries to get Taehyung’s attention. “Yah, you can’t just not go to practice because you… you think Tannie is having his blue period or something.”

“What does Taehyung’s hair have to do with his pup?”, the youngest asks innocently. Yoongi groans and your owner hides his chuckle in your fur.

“It’s a term to describe Picasso's depression evident in his… blue paintings”, the leader explains with patience and vows to lend the maknae his art book.

“But… look!!”, Taehyung whines and thrusts you without warning in Namjoon's face. You can practically hear him groan a ‘Tannie, work with me on this’ while you are inches away from Kim Namjoon.

Maybe it’s being in a dog’s body for too long or maybe it’s his owner’s craziness rubbing off on you, but you start to grimace at the most famous leader in kpop history. Your nostrils flare while your mouth shifts into a maddened smile. At the same time you try to wink like you did this morning at Taehyung’s mother. To top everything off, you extend one of your paws in a mock salute and wiggle your tail.

Namjoon’s expression moves from annoyance to concern as he watches you going completely crazy. “Take as much time as you need”, he allows and backs away from you. “Maybe check in with a vet as well.”

**

After a long nap and another meal you feel relaxed as Taehyung carries you up the stairs. The rest of the shooting went smoothly and you could even hear some of the title track being played in the background. And now it’s nearly night, but still Taehyung moves with purpose farther away from his bedroom, taking two stairs at the same time to get closer to his studio. Punishing in the code – a combination of his and Jimin’s birthdays – he opens the door and lets you in his most private space. He has never taken Yeontan to his painting room. Sometimes he would share a photographed piece with his pup. But never was there an impulse to include his four-legged friend into this part of his life. Until now – now Taehyung wanted his dog to understand him, really understand him.

And how to better understand the artist than by looking at his art? With jittery hands he drops you on the floor. “Welcome”, the idol greets you with enthusiasm and spreads his arms. “This is my studio!”

You look around and take in all the different sizes canvases. Some of them are colored with abstract patterns, most of them in deep vibrant pallets. Then there are some paintings with bodily shapes, harsh black lines illustrating different parts of female and male torsos. A canvas stand is pushed to one corner of the room. It seems like Taehyung does not enjoy painting with it, because he moves a blank canvas from behind a shelf straight onto the ground.

Soon he has collected some oil paint next to it as well as some washed brushes. Taehyung has been focused solely on gathering up all the needed utilities. But now as he plops onto the floor, the artist pats the place right beside him. “Come on, don’t be shy.”

With hesitant steps you move closer to him while the guilt rises in your heart. Taehyung wants to share this with his puppy, not you. This is far more private than his mother spilling family secrets during your walk. This is him being completely open and you are not sure you can take what he is oh so willing to offer.

Still, you can’t deny the idol who looks more like a puppy with his widened eyes than you do. Halting next to him you focus on the blank white in front of you. Taehyung stills and takes in your soothing presents. The last weeks have been pure madness and he knows how tight his schedules is getting as soon as Boy with Luv drops. So he tries to memorize this moment. With a deep breath he grasps one of the brushes and squeezes some midnight blue paint on his mixed pallet. You watch his hand stroke bold lines across the canvas – fascinated by the stark contrast. Taehyung starts to hum; his deep voice relaxes you even more and you lie down – your head is resting on Taehyung’s tights in support.

For a long time he paints in silence, but after the night sky is done, he starts to talk to you about the most random things. The idol begins with a harsh complaint about his hair color, the bright dye hurting his skull. After that he jumps from thought to thought, not caring for coherency. The painter praises Yoongi’s stage for his solo track, an excited gleam in his eyes as he proudly proclaims that he mastered the background dance steps to Seesaw. Then he remembers the late-night drinking with Hoseok’s sister weeks ago; how it was the last time he let go and drank more than his stomach could handle. The longing for walking with you comes next. Taehyung misses your outings, the joy in your tiny steps when you race each other, how protective he feels when he carries you in his bag.

You are now more than ever reminded that you’re here by default. This is not an idol talking to his devoted fan; this is an honest man talking to an imposer. And when you see the happiness in his movements as the painter adds bright stars to his sky, you deep down know your time is running out. There is no way any kind of higher power would harm this man by taking away the companion he cares so much for.

As if Taehyung can sense your darkened mood, he shifts his knees pushing you off his tights in the process. You whine in displeasure but he is quick to act. Suddenly you feel wetness on your paw and look down. Taehyung has moved your leg to the mixed pallet. He gently presses your paw into the white paint. You flinch at the weird feeling which makes the idol coo.

“Hold still, little pup”, Taehyung sooths while he cleans off some white that sticks to your fur. Then he looks at you with a blank expression, making you squirm.

“So, this is important, Tannie”, he starts to explain, “you’ll help me finish this piece.”

And then he places your painted paws on the canvas. A shudder runs down your back as you connect the dots and feel the pressure of painting for the idol. You got this, you hype yourself up and inhale his scent before moving across the painting with purpose.

Ten minutes and two baths in paint later you can definitely say that you did not in fact get it. The flower field you tried to create looks more abstract than accurate. Some petals are blended together, presenting wet spots instead of filigree plants. Embarrassed you face the painter ready to get scolded. But Taehyung looks at the canvas with awe in his eyes.

“We are… brilliant”, the idol breathes and before you can scoff at this blunt lie, he tackles you and presses your body close to his chest. A whine escapes you as you feel your paws pressing against the skin on his arm. The paint hasn’t fully dried and you can see the outline of your print in white on his skin. Taehyung doesn’t seem to mind that much, more focused on breathing in the smell right behind your ear. You do the same, nuzzling your nose against his neck and relax more and more. You notice how slow your breathing gets before you fall asleep.

**

“Come on, ________, this lecture is not optional!”, your roommate screams you awake. You open your eyes and stare at the familiar face of your friend, his hand sassy on his hip.

“No time to admire me, get it moving”, he stresses and pushes your warm blanket away, revealing your sun kissed legs.

“I’ve got toes!” The man in front of you musters you, now more concerned than mad.

“You okay, ______?”

But all you can do is stare at your legs and test your flexibility. Then you touch your arms in wonder and ruff a hand through your thick hair.

Faster than your roommate can call for a doctor, you jump out of bed, landing on your feet, before you grab him by the arms and squeeze his biceps in joy. “Look how tall I am!”, you exclaim, no longer having to crane your neck to look at people.

Your roommate vows to keep an eye on you as you are acting weirder than normal, which is really saying something. He remembers how embarrassed he was at the last costume party. You were dressed as an ARMY bomb, wiggling around to the music. Or how you dressed as a cheesecake for Halloween. You’d drop to the ground every time someone questioned your dress up. “I dropped the cheesecake”, you’d howl more impressed with you than ever.

But now you’re looking at the mirror and touching your cheeks as if you just invented your dimples. Yeah, definitely worrisome, he thinks and pushes you into the bathroom.

“Time management, _____.”

As you sit on the closed toilet seat you try to ground your emotions. You are back and your smartwatch tells you that you haven’t even missed a day. Judging by your unharmed appearance, all you did in the last thirteen hours was sleep. But your nose oh so vibrantly remembers Taehyung’s smell, your eyes can still recall him looking at you, painting with you, cutting strawberries for you.

It takes a moment before you notice how fast you’re breathing. There is a panic attack coming and you can’t think of any way to stop it. All your emotions are rushing through your body as you start to cry hysterically, mourning memories too crazy to keep.

**

It takes days before you stop counting your fingers every time you wake up. It takes weeks before you click on the MV for their next comeback. You act surprised by his blue curls as your roommate screams in excitement. Only after a month you are detached enough to click on Taehyung’s newest v live. This time your surprise is genuine as you spot the tattooed paw on his wrist.