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Frankly, it's none of your business

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Henry Stickmin had been in a meeting room most of the morning that day, getting the run down from the leader of the Toppat clan, Reginald Copperbottom, about a new heist Henry was to go on with his partner in crime Ellie Rose, who had been sitting next to him for the meeting and was the only other member of the clan who had been present at the time.

It had been nearly two months since the Toppat’s space station had been successfully launched into orbit, which had also made it almost two months since Ellie and Henry had been welcomed into the ranks of the Toppat clan with open arms (after a promise made to return some stolen goods.).
Henry and Ellie had proved to be very skilled in the field of crime so they were going to being given a different set of instruction in the next plan, hence the more one on one meeting that time around.

The meeting had gone well, not that much could have gone wrong with a simple rundown of plans, and it had been all together rather normal until Ellie had spoken up,

“Hey Boss, I didn’t realize you were married, or someone who would be married for that matter” She had gestured to the bosses left hand, a golden band Henry hadn’t ever noticed before was sat on the fourth finger, a red gemstone of some kind embedded in said ring.

“Hm? Oh! Oh I didn’t realized I had forgotten my gloves this morning,” Reginald had said distantly looking at the ring for a moment before starting and his attention shifted back to Ellie, “And what was that about marriage?”

“Well, I just didn’t know you were the kind of person to get hitched, congrats I guess,” She had said casually, giving a non committal shrug before she had leaned forward with a more teasing look in her eyes, “Soooo, Who’s the lucky gal boss? She someone we know on board? You didn’t abandon your wife back on earth did you?”

Reginald had only scoffed and crossed his arms with a smirk, “Well frankly, that sounds like it's non of your business now doesn’t it? As such I’m not telling you. This meeting is over anyways I have other matters to deal with today,” He had turned at that point making to exit through the door before turning back around, “And for the record they are not on the planet.”


And well, that’s how Henry had found himself in the Toppat’s records room, shuffling through the differing files on all the members of the clan and scratching them off of a nearby list while Ellie collected and delivered more to the table they were sat at.

“Um, can someone remind me why I’m here?” Henry looked up for a moment at the voice before going back to his work. Sven Svensson, the third in command for the Toppat clan was sat across from him looking completely confused and a tad bit irritated.

“I already told you, were looking for the bosses wife,” Ellie said in a condescending tone, dropping a stack of files in front of the blond, making the man jump before he rolled his eyes,
“Yes I understand that part but why amhere, frankly I don’t see any pressing reason for me to be at this table helping you lot sort through the bosses private life,” he flicked his way through a folder with narrowed eyes before tossing it to a growing discard pile,

“Well, you’re kinda the first person we saw in the hall who has any sort of access to the files? and since they apparently don’t want the two newbies to go sorting through these things alone,” she tossed a file over Sven’s head before shrugging, “You are here to be our baby sitter.”


Henry snorted at that, Sven shooting him an irritated glare before crossing his arms, “Alright, well what if I just left then? We haven’t exactly found any clues and it’s been almost three quarters of an hour,” He jerked his head in the direction of a wall clock before sighing, “Honestly I don-“

“What on earth are you three doin’,” Henry jumped in his seat before all three group members whipped around to where the archives entrance was, standing in said entrance with his arms crossed was the bosses right hand man, who was surveying the group with a raised eyebrow,

“Well we-“ Sven tried to start before Ellie cut in,

“We’re lookin for the boss’s wife in the archives.”

The right hand man scowled in response, eyebrows furrowing in confusion before growling, “ His what?

“Well, you may not know but the boss man wears a wedding band under his gloves, me and Henry here saw it this morning. Buuuut didn’t get her name so,” she gestured to the files on the groups table,
“We decided to do our own research, I collect, Henry there is taking note of disqualifications and Svensy here is just makin sure we don’t go hightailing of to the feds with some other kinds of important information, isn’t that right?” she swung an arm around the third commands shoulders while he muttered something along the lines of ‘that nick name is ridiculous.’

The right hand man glanced at the table, then to Henry, who simply waved and scratched off another name from their list, before looking to Ellie with a smirk, “Well, your going to have a tough time findin anything about that in here, so I suppose I should wish you luck,” he turned to a cabinet, quickly grabbing a file and turning to leave before having to pause as Ellie shouted after him,

“Hold up you KNEW he was married? Can you tell us who she is?” she looked genuinely shocked where as Sven next to her didn’t look at all surprised at the news

“Well it’s not really your business now is it?” He replied with an unamused look before shutting the door and leaving the three alone again.



“Damn it! That could’ve been a good lead,” Ellie slumped down in her seat with a frustrated sigh glancing over to Sven who was riffling aimlessly through another file, “Why does the right hand man know the boss is married?”

“Eh, I figure he was probably a witness for the thing, y’know if the boss went about something legally for once, either that or he just figured it out for himself and didn’t bother telling anyone, Right hand man’s not exactly one for gossip,” The blond shrugged and leaned back in his chair before flinching as a pen hit him in the forehead,
 “OW- Hey! If you want my attention that bad just like, tap on the table or something next time jeez.”

Henry rolled his eyes before signing a quick, “Don’t be a baby,” before straightening up and quickly adding, “Didn’t he say we’d have a tough time finding out stuff in here? What do we do if her file is missing or something?”

Ellie groaned loudly, “Shit, you’re right but why would her file go missing? And shouldn’t we have her file in the file room? Not being here doesn’t make much sense to me.”

“Oh god what if the bosses wife is dead,” Sven said suddenly a look horror growing on his face, glancing between the other two quickly, Henry seemed to consider the idea for a moment where as Ellie seemed to have become lost in thought.


“Wait wait wait, why the hell are we looking for his wife,” she says suddenly her eyes lighting up  as she snapped her finger and looked over to the other members of the table, both of who looked blankly back at her,

“Uh, because you and Henry got obsessed with the bosses ring, I thought you made that pretty clear?” Sven offered sarcastically, his arms crossing as he glanced to Henry, who nodded in agreement,

No Sven, why the hell are we assuming he has wife when he could just as likely have a husband or something,” Ellie says with a roll of her eyes, clearly thinking this line of thinking should’ve been obvious to them in the beginning,
“Right hand man supposedly knows about the bosses marriage but didn’t know what I meant when I said wife right? So that would mean that the boss is married to someone who’s not a girl!”

“Okay so his Husbands dead, did you forget that Henry just reminded us that there’s basically nothing in here about the bosses marriage? Good for the boss and all that but we’re still and ground zero on leads,” He crossed his arms and huffed in annoyance, leaning back in his chair before snapping forward quickly,
“You throw that pen at me Stickmin and I swear I will personally send you on a tour of the suns surface you got me?”

Henry shrugged, returning the pen to the desk and moving his hands, “If the right hand man knows about the wedding do you think anyone else may know? There are members who’ve been here longer than all three of us maybe one of them could help?”

Sven shrugged in response, “I mean I guess we could but honestly that sounds about as useful as going around and asking everyone on ship if they’re the one married to the boss, and before you ask Ellie,” He shot the woman a quick glare as he caught the mischievous look on her face,
I am not the bosses husband, that would be really weird.” He looked back at the clock before sighing, “Well after an hour of this with no leads I say we pack it up yeah? What do you-“

“BURT!” Ellie suddenly shouted, slamming her hand on the table making both papers fly and the other two table members jump,

“Uh, pardon?” Sven said with a glare, straightening out his hat while Henry just looked at Ellie with confusion,

“Burt Curtis! Y’know the communications guy? Stupid headphones? No emotion in his voice…”

“Yes I know who he is,” Sven snaps his arms crossing over his chest, “I just fail to see the connection to the subject at hand, unless you are going to look me in the eyes and tell me the boss is married to Burt, in which case that visit to the sun can quite readily be for you.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “No obviously it’s not Burt even I’m not that desperate for an answer,” She stands up from the table and starts walking towards the door, Henry and Sven quickly following in confusion,
“Burt just seems to know things, y’know? He just kinda seems to be the guy people tell things to or don’t notice so he picks up a bunch of info, he just doesn’t care enough to spread it.”

“So you think, out of all the people on the ship Burt is going to help us find out about the bosses marriage, seems a bit out there to me,” Sven said in an unconvinced tone, Henry nodding slowly in agreement looking at Ellie in confusion,

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see then, HEY BURT,” Ellie slammed the door of the Communications room open, the man in question looking up from what appeared to be a collection of comics in his lap with an unphased expression, raising a hand to move one of his headphone caps off an ear.

“Are you married to the boss?” Ellie says quickly smirking as Sven sputtered in protest behind her and Henry stifled a laugh,

“No I’m pretty sure that’s his husbands job,” Burt replied dryly, looking back down at his comic while Ellie turned to Sven with a triumphant look,

“See? Curtis knows all.” She said smugly while Sven scowled back at her, pinching the bridge of his nose,

“Yeah okay cool, so he knows the boss is married, that doesn’t mean he knows who-“

“Oh I know who it is, not exactly difficult to figure out Sven,” The man in question calls out, still flipping through his comics, “Buuut I don't exactly think i'm supposed to tell people? It’s not exactly any of my business to share is what the boss said, something like that.”

Ellie groans in frustration, “But we can’t find out anything about him Burt, there’s nothing about this in the archive at all.” She crosses her arms and smirks a little, a clever glint to her eyes, “Can’t you give us something to work with here? I mean we could just not leave you alone until you cough something up y’know.”

Burt sighed and leaned back in his chair, looking over with the same uninterested look as always, “I mean, I guess you could check the files in the bosses room? If they aren’t in the archive they’re probably in there, would mean breaking in though so it’s your call.” He turns away from them again with a shrug, readjusting his headphones while the group of three exit and turn to look at each other.



“Okay we’ve done enough already I am not breaking into the boss’s private room. No way.” Sven crosses his arms and glares at the other two his tone stern,

“But this may be our only chance to figure it out Sven! He said he was busy today so if we just go really quickly and-“

“And break into our bosses living quarters? absolutely not! We would literally get killed if we’re found digging through his stuff are you kidding me? Henry are you seriously on board with this,” He turns to Henry and quickly scowls as the man in question just shrugs and replies,

“I don’t see why not, could be interesting? Are you not curious at this point?” Sven sighed and pulled his hat down over his eyes before slowly lifting it and glaring at the two,

“Five minutes, you can have FIVE MINUTES to do this and if you do get caught I was NOT involved to you hear me? I can stand down the hall and keep watch or something,” He crossed his arms and sharply turned in the direction of the room in question, “Keep up will you?”




Henry and Ellie paused outside of the door, glancing back at Sven who simply gave an annoyed ‘get on with it’ motion before he moves around the hallways corner and out of sight.
Ellie turns to Henry with a smirk, “Well, you ready to crack open a mystery?” she says cheerfully, placing her hand on the knob, cracking it open with a grin when Henry gives a Determined nod in response, “Let’s get going then!”

They enter the room cautiously, glancing around quickly to make sure the boss wasn’t actually in the room itself, “Coast is clear, let’s find those files quick so we don’t get the axe okay?” Ellie spoke softly, creeping her way around before her eyes fall onto a filing cabinet in the corner of the room, “Bingo!”

The duo quickly go up to it, Ellie giving the drawer a quick tug to which it stayed completely still, “Shit it’s locked, Henry you got any ideas?” The man thinks for maybe half a second before draw his fist back and punching the drawer, making a soft noise of pain at the contact,
“Dude what the fuck I meant like, lock picking or some- oh, well fuck me,” as she pulls the door again it slides smoothly open, she gives Henry an incredulous look while he simply shrugs in response, rubbing his knuckles gingerly.


“Okay. Now we just need to-“

“I’d step away from that cabinet if I were you.” Henry squeaks in surprise as he and Ellie whip around, standing in the center of the room, holding the collar of a very frightened Sven as well as a very loaded pistol, was the bosses Right hand man, who looked very irritated but not as angry as Henry would’ve expected in this kind of scenario.

“Sven what the fuck? You ratted us out!” Ellie points an accusational finger towards the blond who squawks in protest,

“No I didn’t! He came out of nowhere and just grabbed me and now-“

“For the love of god shut up,” The right hand man growls out rolling his eyes and gesturing his pistol towards Henry and Ellie with a glare, “I was going to go to my room when I saw this man,” He pointed the gun at Sven who flinched,
“Standing guard down the hall, I knew you two were stupid but honestly, breaking and stealing documents? Definitely didn’t expect that, well maybe I did from you,” He gestured to Henry who was squinting suspiciously at him, “What? Something wrong?” The right hand man smirked, tilting his head mockingly.

“Where is your room? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it on the map,” Henry signed, Ellie and the right hand man giving him confused looks in return, “I thought only the bosses room was in this sector, why were you over here going to your room then?”

The right hand man froze for a second as the room processed what Henry had signed, going to respond before Ellie jabbed a finger in his direction, “Wait a fucking minute!” she screams her eyes bright, “It’s you!

What’s me?” The man responds with a scowl, Henry and Sven giving Ellie questioning looks,

“Are you trying to imply that the bosses right hand man is also his husband,” Sven says in a disbelieving tone, “Are you seriously doing this now  when we’re about to be KILLED?”

Ellie puts her hands on her hips smirking at the blond, “Oh I’m not implying, I’m accusing and I’m right,” She turns her attention back to said accused, who was still scowling but gave a raised brow in response,
You knew about the marriage and that the boss didn’t have a wife specifically, you knew we wouldn’t find anything in the records room even though the persons records should still be there, which makes sense because you’re filled there under ‘right hand man’ and not an actual name which would give us more information,”
She starts listing the reasons of on her fingers, making eye contact with the still scowling man,
“And, to finish it off you were headed towards your room which isn’t on any map PLUS you were headed in this direction which is only where the bosses room is, which can mean only that it’s both of yours rooms because you are, in fact, married.” She finishes by crossing her arms with a smirk, though she falters a bit as the man started to laugh.

“Well, that certainly would be interesting but I’ve got to ask, if we are indeed married, where’s my ring?” he shows his left hands which is still gripping the gun, “Since he’s got one shouldn’t his husband have one as well?” Ellie frowns in thought for a moment as Sven made a defeated noise before they’re all jolted by a sound from Henry.

“Mind repeating that?” the right hand man says in a frustrated voice, swinging the gun to point at Henry, “And please make it quick this has been goin on much too long.”

“Pocket,” Henry repeats softly, his voice a bit hoarse just due to his lack of use, “Keeping the ring in your pocket.” The right hand man opens his mouth to respond before startling as Henry raises his hand, showing a Silver band with green stones embedded in it,
“Distracted by Ellie, snatched it.” He says in response to the mans shocked look, shrugging before looking at Ellie and Sven who both had looks of similar surprise to them.

“Well, guess that’s that then,” The Right hand man lets go of Sven with a scowl, crossing his arms and glaring at Henry, “So now that you’ve figured it out, give me my damn ring back.” Henry quickly complies handing it over to the man who returned it to his shirt pocket with a frustrated sigh.

“Sooo you and the boss are?” Ellie smirks playfully as the Righthand man shoots her a murderous look,

“Yes, I don’t know why you three are so obsessed with it, but yes we are and we have been for a couple years,” he turns to look at Sven with narrowed eyes, the third in command still looking back at him in shock, “Honestly I don’t know why you in particular had to go snooping about, you could’ve just told them.”

“What? Sven you knew about them the whole time? Why did you let us go into their room then?” Ellie whipped around with a betrayed look, the blond looking between her and the right hand man with panicked confusion,

“Huh? No I didn’t! I didn’t have a clue how would I have known?”

The right hand man squints at the third in command, “Sven you were there as a witness have you seriously forgotten.” He looks unamused as Sven simply looks at him and shakes his head, “Couple years ago, after some sorta heist that happened with the boss, us and Curtis,” Sven blinks again, eyes wide before something clicked,

“That was a Wedding?  You seriously got married in front of me and Burt and I didn’t notice?” He pinched the bridge of his nose while Henry let out a loud laugh, Ellie snickering next to him as well,

Yes it was a wedding and as for not noticing I guess that’s a more personal flaw, Curtis seemed to know before hand so I figured it must’ve been obvious,” the right hand man growled with a roll of his eyes, “Now if that’s everything I would very much like for you to leave before Reg gets back so-“

“Awww you have little nicknames,” Ellie coo’s overdramatically, grinning mischievously as the man glares daggers at her, “Man isn’t that romantic Henry? Falling for your right hand man, that sounds like some real movie plot shit.” Henry laughs a little while the right hand man simply crosses his arms, teeth clenched as his face flushes slightly,

“I still have a loaded gun and I will use it if you don’t stop talking and leave,” he growls at Ellie who simply looks back with a smug look,

“Aww he’s getting all flustered over his Husband,” She teased before raising a hand quickly, “And that’s the last one, for now.” She finished with a smirk, the right hand man sighing and raising a hand to his face, “C’mon Henry, you too Sven we should probably clean up the records room and leave the boss and his HUSBAND,”
 She shouts the word over her shoulder as they leave the room, ducking slightly as a warning shot rings out, “Alone.” She finished while closing the door and smiling at the other two.

“I cannot believe I attended a wedding without knowing, let alone theirs,” Sven mutters, crossing his arms while Henry stifles another laugh, “AND I can’t believe you pit pocketed the right hand man are you Insane-“

“Yeah, yeah tell it to us later Svensy,” Ellie says sweetly, swinging her arms around the two boys and hauling them down the hall, “We, have got an archive to clean and tomorrow, a boss to relentlessly tease.”



A couple hours later, Reginald returned to his room, sighing as he hung his coat on the back of the door before blinking in confusion, “Right, why on earth is there a bullet hole above the door?” he turned to the man in question, who had sat up in bed when Reginald had entered the room,

“Well, you have a trio of overly curious members to blame for that,” Right huffs in response, crossing his arms as Reginald tilts his head questioningly, placing his hat on the door as well, “Seems your two new recruits are too stupid to realise when to leave well enough alone, broke in trying to sneak a look at your filing cabinet, broke the lock on it too not sure how.” he jerks his thumb towards the object in question while Reginald gives a surprised laugh

“Good lord, really? I would’ve expected Sven to break and tell them instead of something so dramatic,” Reginald says still laughing softly, climbing his way under the sheets and next to his husband, throwing and arm across the other mans chest,

“Yeah well y’see, seems Sven needs glasses or something ‘cause he didn’t know,” He shakes his head as Reginald squints up at him, “I don’t know how he didn’t don’t ask, he knows now though, guess he got convinced by the others to go along with their plan so I dragged him in here and confronted them.” He shifts a bit and then sits up suddenly Reginald giving a soft ‘oi’ at being displaced,
“That lil shit, Henry, He stole my fuckin ring right out of my pocket and I didn’t even notice,” He growls, Reginald barking out a laugh and dragging the man back to a lying position,

“Well, we can talk to him about that tomorrow, is that where the bullet hole came from? Still haven’t told me that yet you know,” Reginald tilts his head and Right simply averts his gaze,

“Er, no that was cause of the Rose girl, she seemed to find it amusing to,” He grits his teeth and lets a breath out, “Make some jokes so I warned her and then well, I wouldn’t have actually shot her,” he ends quickly glaring as Reginald starts laughing,

“Right are you telling me you fired a shot into the wall because you were embarrassed,” he grins at the man who looks away as his cheeks begin to flush, “Frankly, I think that’s rather charming even though we have been married for years.” He leans up and gives the other man a quick kiss, the flush on his cheeks darkening slightly.

“Goodnight Righty, I love you.”

“Yeah, Love you too Reg.”