Yes, yes, before you ask, Baekhyun knows.
Yes, he knows it is hard being an unmated omega. He knows it is even harder being an unmated omega during heats. He knows it’s hardest when you are a public celebrity, slave to a fan’s whims and fancies (and love and support, of course) so you cannot date anyone freely, nor can you bring an alpha or a beta home to help you through the days of pain because who’s going to deal with the paps that will follow him on the way? No thanks, Koreabee.
No, Baekhyun’s only allowed to take some pills and go through it. A heating pad helps. His gentle, organised, anal beta of a manager is kind enough to find him alphas covertly to help him too, or fetch him sex toys if needed. But Baekhyun is nothing if not stubborn. He would rather sit on his couch with a heating pad and a decent supply of marzipan Ritter Sports and extra cheesy Doritos to switch between as he watches the new Umbrella Academy season and goes through the pain. It will get worse eventually, which is when he’ll take the old sex toys out, but until then he simply wants to sit and sulk. Because, yes, you may not ask but what precedes a heat is the extreme emotional upheaval that demands both chocolates and Doritos to be consumed despite strict idol diets. Sorry to Junmyeon but it is biology, Baekhyun swears.
“It’s not that I don’t want an alpha to spend this with, you know?” Baekhyun tells Minseok, who has been looking at him instead of the screen for the past ten minutes. He’s simply more of an Expanse guy, Umbrella Academy is just not his type. Old soul and all that.
“I just,” he munches on, “don’t want it to be someone I don’t know. I don’t want to spend it with some random man. What if I don’t like him? What if he has a hairy back? God, Minseok, alphas can be so gross, can you even imagine….”
Unfortunately, Minseok can, and he does shudder in response. He has no argument to offer, so he tuts, picks a Dorito and chews on. Backstreet Boys blast from the screen. “I am sexual,” Baekhyun continues. “Right?”
“Yeah,” Minseok drawls. “Sure.”
It’s a while before either speaks up. One-third of their trio sleeps in his room, but there seems to be no sleep in sight for Baekhyun who is determined to finish this season tonight and Minseok, who has just taken his wine bottle out.
“Will this help?” the beta asks Baekhyun, who seems to consider it. “I think it will bloat me up, it will probably feel worse down there later.”
Minseok does not argue further, but does ask if there is any other way he can help his friend.
Baekhyun looks at him gratefully, smiling despite his pain. “It’s fine, hyung. I’ll be fine, you know me!”
“I do, and that’s why…” Minseok sighs. “That’s why I ask you, because you never ask.” Baekhyun’s eyes are cast down on his lap when Minseok ruffles his hair. “It’s okay to rely on someone once in a while, Hyun-ah. I know it’s terrifying to let go, but aren’t you my bravest dongsaeng?”
Baekhyun does not know where the pain that has watered his eyes originated from, but he wipes them with the back of his sleeve regardless. Cannot have all the Dorito dust getting in there on top of everything. He cannot find his voice to say anything to his hyung, who’s humming Bad Guy as it plays on the screen. It is a quiet night, and they do manage to finish season 2 that day.
Long before Baekhyun had debuted with Minseok and Jongdae as CBX, they had been trainees under their company. Each day they would spend almost ten hours together in a practice room covering everything under the sun they had to learn to become the idols they eventually became. This involved extensive vocal training such as covering every single DBSK song known to the South Korean peninsula (Minseok particularly enjoyed this); daily exercise to build up muscle, stamina and flexibility, personality training from special coaches who would come by once in a week to assess them on how they appeared to the general eye, and, of course, dance practice— at which Baekhyun and Jongdae, owing to their late entry into the company, were quite terrible. For this reason, two other trainees— Sehun and Jongin, who had later debuted under their own performance group, had taken them under their wings and decided to help them out. It was a nice camaraderie between the five of them, much of it owed to Minseok who had spent a long time with Jongin and Sehun in the company. Baekhyun would stay with Sehun even after practice hours to understand the sharpness of movement. He was as much awed by Sehun as he was jealous. While Jongin had a strong core which ensured flawless balance and control on his feet— both qualities that flourished later, Sehun bore a much more unique quality of making his isolations shine. There was not a single step he did where his entire body did not seem to be coordinating, it felt like a string was pulling him together. Baekhyun would watch Sehun for hours before trying himself, finding it difficult to isolate as well as him. Sharp dance requires muscle, which Sehun, of course, had much more than him. Still, Baekhyun improved slowly but surely. He could soon see his torso and arms shine through better, hold themselves better. And it was in one such session, when, mesmerised by his own improvement, Baekhyun went too far.
It wasn’t that far, of course. It was a ligament tear. Which heals eventually, but tends to hit one in the capacity of a firetruck. Baekhyun had screamed louder than Minseok during any DBSK chorus in karaoke. Sehun had called for help and a manager had rushed them to the hospital straight away. But Baekhyun never forgot the pain he felt the entire journey until it subsided eventually. He just had not had any major injuries in his life, so the pain had been striking, to say the least.
And yet, today, on this fine sunny morning where sparrows seemed to chirp outside his bedroom window and a nice breeze cooled off the sweat on his face, Baekhyun would take a thousand ligament tears over the pain in his gut.
There is dignity in saying his heat this year was quite painful. There is truth in saying it hurt like a fucking bitch.
Awake and sweaty, Baekhyun could only take a deep breath and wait in silence for the pain to pass. Or subside. There was no Sehun to save him now, not that Baekhyun would ask Junmyeon to call him anyway. The boy was his darling alpha baby and Baekhyun would run himself over with a truck before thinking of him or Jongin sexually. No, all Baekhyun needed was his painkillers and some water and some batteries for his old vibrator (really, he should look up that novelty adult fantasy toys shop he found on Etsy the other day again, they even had cute bags to keep the cute fantasy dildos in).
“Ugh, Jongdae,” he groaned. “Can you get me some water?”
There was no response. Baekhyun was confused. Wouldn’t Jongdae be up by now? He even slept early last night. He unlocked his phone before calling the boy. It might be an inconvenience to be woken up like that but this was a minor emergency.
Two rings. No response. Then two to Minseok which went un-responded as well. Baekhyun groaned at the automated voice to shut up before throwing his phone across. It landed with a thump the same moment that Baekhyun pulled himself together and decided to sit up, pressing his eyes shut for the impending vertigo. Once the wooziness had passed, he left to fetch some water for himself.
Their dorm was eerily quiet for 9AM. Usually, Minseok would be up and cleaning by now while Jongdae watched the news. But there was not a soul in sight as Baekhyun gulped half a bottle of water in a single breath and took the rest to his room to eat his suppressant and painkiller. Stranger things have happened, he shrugged.
“Of course, how could I challenge the universe like that?” Baekhyun ranted to himself once he was in his room. His precious room, where he stored all his precious things, such as his pills, which were, thanks to the universe accepting challenges really quickly today, missing. Which meant he had run out. Which meant that now he would have to run out to get some, because Jongdae and Minseok had decided that the first day of his heat offered the perfect opportunity to play mini golf at 9 in the morning, or whatever it is that they were doing while he pulled his robe together and locked their dorm after making sure the two were not sleeping in their rooms, leaving for the pharmacy across their building. God forbid if they were, Baekhyun would murder them himself.
The trip itself was not difficult, which is why it was easier to go there himself than have Junmyeon come over. “It’s only a few minutes,” he told himself as he crossed the road. “Let’s do this Baekhyun-ah.”
It was indeed a few minutes, and Baekhyun-ah did manage to do this. To some degree. He was inside the pharmacy waiting for the boy across the counter to fetch his suppressant, eager to be done, playing with the batteries he had picked up for his vibrator because two birds one Baekhyun and all that. It was a fine, normal day in Seoul, nothing out of the ordinary happening in the life of our protagonist— until, of course, it did.
“Uh, excuse me?” a voice spoke next to Baekhyun.
Startled, the boy let out an undignified squeak before turning to his side. Yes, before you ask again, Baekhyun should know this is a cliche moment. He has seen enough films to remember that the most eventful encounters of life happen at places as inconsequential as grocery stores, and that anything can be around the corner of your spot in the pharmacy. But, really, he was alone in a pharmacy waiting for his medicine just wanting to go munch on the granola bar they had nicely displayed in front of the counter for hedonists like him. Can anyone blame him for not thinking of the gravitas?
“Yes?” he asked, his eyebrow quirked as high up as his neck, because this man in front of him was quite tall.
“Umm, this..” he mumbled, looking at his hands. Which were quite big. Baekhyun looked at them too. They held a pack of batteries identical to the ones in his hand. Not understanding what that was supposed to mean, Baekhyun looked up again only to have the man crowd him further until they were merely inches apart and our protagonist could take a good whiff of his scent while he placed the batteries where they belonged. To Baekhyun’s heat addled, sensitive, thirsty nose, he smelled like what cool water felt. On a hot day. In the middle of summer. Under the sun.
“Oh….” he could only whisper when the tall alpha parted. Alpha.
“Will you pay now?” a third voice asked, and the two of them turned around to see the pharmacist waiting for a response with a cylindrical orange box in his hands.
Baekhyun tutted. “These are the steroidal ones. I want the non-steroidal ones. Can you just give me the ones I asked for?” The pharmacist offers him a blank look before going on a search again.
“That’s probably a good decision, my sister avoids those too,” the alpha next to him commented.
Baekhyun did not let his surprise at the alpha still being there show, he was too distracted by his usual rant. “That’s smart! There’s so much misinformation about these painkillers out there and they only make heats worse, you know? The steroidal ones have so many side effects—like, it literally ranges from acne to cysts of all things! I don’t want to break out but I also don’t want to have a surgery because my heat was too painful! The medical industry is just an embarrassment to omegas everywhere, I swear…”
“I know! They literally just want to sell you drugs and want you to shut up about your pain,” the alpha nodded along.
“Thank you… Sorry, what’s your name?”
“Thank you Chanyeol! At least some alphas get it!”
Chanyeol only hummed as Baekhyun huffed, feeling disgruntled all of a sudden. It never failed to anger him how unfair the world could be to omegas in every aspect. He had lived his life surrounded by all kinds of wolves, but he always felt there were moments when his burdens seemed heavier to carry than Minseok or Jongdae’s by virtue of him being an omega.
“So, you don’t have someone to help you through the heat?” Chanyeol asked him as the pharmacist made his way back and started billing Baekhyun’s items. “No,” Baekhyun answered with a sheepish smile.
“Fancy that, for an omega like you,” Chanyeol proceeded to place his items on the counter while Baekhyun collected his. That was flirting, right? Chanyeol was definitely flirting, right? Baekhyun could ask him to help out, right? Sure, he didn’t know Chanyeol, but at least the alpha had not been picked up at a bar or something. And he didn’t seem to have hair on his back. He was tall, with big eyes and a deep voice and the kind of brown-black hair Baekhyun thinks gives any boy more maturity and edge over a bleached blonde. He even had clean nails— Baekhyun noticed! That’s enough to predict an alpha is decent, right?
The conflict stole from him the only moment and confidence he could have had to ask Chanyeol the question he had prepared in his mind. Maybe you would like to help? was left on the tip of his tongue while Chanyeol conversed with the cashier. It would be awkward to keep standing there, so Baekhyun left the store quickly. But our protagonist was a strong believer of the power of self. If the universe had not willed the perfect arc for his meet-cute today, he could simply stand outside and enjoy his granola bar under the sun before leaving. If Chanyeol left the same way— which he would because there was only one door, then so be it. If he noticed Baekhyun, that’s that.
“You’re here!” Chanyeol was smiling at him when he did notice, and Baekhyun had to gulp the last of his granola down before nodding.
“Need some energy to cross the road, I haven’t eaten anything all morning,” Baekhyun smiled sheepishly. Again. What was it about this alpha reducing him to sheepish smiles?
Concern flashed across Chanyeol’s face. “Is it really that bad?”
Baekhyun nodded in pout. He was bringing all the guns out today.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like some help?” Chanyeol enquired, sincere concern apparent as he held Baekhyun’s elbow. “Let me at least drop you close to your home so that I know you’ll reach in one piece.”
Baekhyun felt like melting a little. It was not the sun. “I live across the street,” he spoke very quietly. If one can do that, because he did.
“Let’s go then,” Chanyeol smiled. He held Baekhyun’s hand as they crossed the road, Seoul mornings allowing no easy respite from traffic. But the alpha was patient and careful, never crossing boundaries—physically or otherwise, and yet making Baekhyun feel like he would be just fine around him. He asked Baekhyun for his phone once they had reached his building.
“Call me, when you need to,” he told Baekhyun as he handed his phone back. The omega thanked him politely. His pain was starting to take a toll again, his body demanding suppressants or Chanyeol’s scent all around him. “Take care, okay? I’ll be around,” the alpha smiled before pushing his hands inside his jacket’s pockets and turning around, heading back. Even if Baekhyun was tempted to call him, he knew he could only tempt fate so much. It was the suppressants for now, Chanyeol’s scent would have to wait.
Hello! Thank you so much for reading if you've made it this far. This fic is plotted and I have the next few chapters ready so shall be posting soon-- I hope to finish it quickly because I am excited to write it! It would be great if you let me know what you think! I'm really looking forward to sharing this work with you all! (and fret not, there is definitely smut. Probably in the next chapter.)
Also, the novelty fantasy adult toys store I mention is real and run by a friend! (Who did not pay me for this promo, I just think the bags are adorable.) You can find it here!
You can also find me on Twitter where I post some tweetfics and other exo content here!
Chapter 2: tonight it feels like I won’t be able to sleep
Now, there’s a specific reason Baekhyun insists on his painkillers being non-steroidal instead of steroidal. First, they don’t pump his blood with steroids, causing some hormonal imbalance he would find difficult to pinpoint or overcome, thanks to modern medicine simply not being able to decipher the deep and dark mysteries of a common omega body. Ha! Baekhyun still remembers the one time he had been put on the steroidal medication for his heats. Junmyeon, the poor beta, had not known which specific medicine to pick up between their comeback schedules— and comebacks could not be delayed by an omega singing his throat hoarse in oh fuck it hurts instead of the song’s lyrics. So the manager had picked up the ones the pharmacist informed him were popular amongst omegas— and all hell had broken loose. It’s not like Junmyeon came home to a house burning on fire one day, but it is that he pretty much did. The painkillers, the side-effects of which Baekhyun had not known, not only delayed his heat cycles abnormally, but often left him in debilitating pain, the build-up from delay just making it worse. Every time Baekhyun woke up with extreme pain in his stomach, he simply popped another pill and went back to sleep hoping it subsided. There was relief, but the cycle would start all over again the next time. It would take Junmyeon literally walking into a room with Baekhyun’s fresh painkiller supply which he requested him to fetch and finding Baekhyun on the floor, clutching his stomach and unable to move, to realise something was wrong. Dr. Zhang was called right away.
Zhang Yixing, to Baekhyun, was nothing short of his lifesaver.
First, because he quite literally saved Baekhyun’s life. The build up from steroids also ran a risk of thrombosis, and strokes, among other things. Second, because he also saved Baekhyun from a lifetime of misinformation and mistreatment of his own body. It was not as huge as Baekhyun made it out to be, he knew (and yes, Jongdae often reminded when Baekhyun went into one of his dramatic rants of how Yixing saved his life while recommending him to some omega stylist), but Baekhyun was incredibly grateful for the sense of control he felt when he knew why what was happening to him was happening to him. Such as his heats being so difficult because of the wrong meds or bloating the night before. Or his mood swings. Or just, things in general which Baekhyun loved to find ways to attribute to biology. If he knew about it, he could control it, he believed.
And so, here he was, cursing the day he was born and the day vibrators were invented and granola bars were made and the earth exploded from a big bang because, really, he could not control the pain.
Don’t ask, he had tried everything. His painkillers, stuffing his dildo up his ass, stuffing both his vibrator and dildo up his ass, sitting on all fours and doing the same while thinking of an alpha cock within him instead of doing it on his back, pushing the covers off his bed, pulling them back, hell, even stealing Jongdae’s sea breeze air freshener to mimic some of Chanyeol’s scent (yes, he was thinking about Chanyeol today because he had not seen a decent alpha in a long time despite being around the hottest industry alphas all the time it’s really not a big deal), and then doing all of that at the same time. Nothing seemed to work.
Baekhyun was horny, frustrated, and very horny-frustrated.
He had almost called Junmyeon out of desperation. At this point he would take a pick-up alpha or beta over this pain, but he knew his manager, like his fellow members would not pick up. Junmyeon had left him a text saying they were off to Busan for a variety shoot and would only return in three days, and there’s only so often one can take calls during a shoot. So there Baekhyun was, sweaty and stuck with a vibrator inside him, its buzz doing nothing for his patience. When it got too much, Baekhyun couldn’t help but take his trusted old friend out and throw it across to his left, making the projectile fly out his window. So much for all that love.
It took three rings for Yixing to pick up. He must have been on his lunch break.
“Baekhyun-ah? Hello!” the beta spoke cheerfully. Baekhyun smiled at the thought of his dimples. “Hey Yixing, is this a good time?” He had to clear his throat, his voice seemed quite hoarse.
“Of course! Tell me, are you okay?”
“…No. It’s my heat. I took painkillers but nothing is helping. I can’t… I can’t orgasm.”
“Oh? And have you eaten and hydrated properly?”
“Yeah. There’s just this… dull ache today. It’s not as bad as before, but it’s there, and I feel empty inside no matter what I eat or do. I tried sleeping it off too but it didn’t help at all. I keep waking up sweaty and panting… and… aroused.”
“Baekhyun-ah, you know what I told Junmyeon and you last time, and I will tell you this again. As you grow older it might be difficult to get through the heat alone yourself: your wolf wants to mate. Even if you don’t mate with an alpha, just having one around through your heat will make it easier. Surely you will orgasm better…”
“But is there no other pill I can take?”
“I’m afraid I cannot prescribe a heavier dose during your heat. In any case it will only numb the pain, it won’t make you feel satisfied. Listen, why don’t you ask Junmyeon to arrange someone, even if temporarily…”
“—you know I don’t want that. Anyway, it’s fine, I have an alpha in mind. I’ll ask them. Thanks, Yixing.”
“Just stay safe and call me if you need anything else Baekhyun. We’re here for you.”
Baekhyun murmured an eung before ending the call, staring at his phone as he snuggled back inside his blanket. Park Chan Yeol stared back at him, a mere eight number string. He could imagine the alpha around, somehow, encasing him within his arms while he simply lay there, massaging his temples, squeezing his sides, gently caressing the softer sides of his body while kissing the nape of his neck from behind, and oh…
Oh. Baekhyun did not realise he was hard, or that his hand had somehow made its way to his pants in the few seconds that had passed. But he could feel slick leaking out of him, as if taunting him with knowledge he could no longer deny.
He had to call Chanyeol.
Contrary to the theme of the day, Chanyeol picked up immediately. Baekhyun indulged himself briefly in the thought that the man might have been waiting. “Hello?”
“Hey, Chanyeol? Is this you?”
“It is he,” there was a smile in his voice. “Baekhyun?”
“Hi,” Chanyeol was still smiling, Baekhyun was sure. “What’s up?”
Right. This was the part where he had to drop the big question. “I… uhh, are you still around the area, by any chance?”
“Right,” Baekhyun shut his eyes from the oncoming embarrassment. “I.. I ran out of granola bars. And food. There’s only cereal in the dorm. I was… I was wondering if you could… pick up some granola bars… since you offered,” what the fuck was he doing? “Actually it’s—“
“Yeah. Sure. I can pick some up. What kind do you like?”
“The sweet ones,” he replied sheepishly. His sheep avatar was back. Someone call Yixing.
“Alright,” he chuckled. “Sweet one, give me fifteen.”
They briefly discussed how Chanyeol would get into the building before the line went dead, and Baekhyun was stuffing both his phone and his face into his pillow to bellow in embarrassment. What had he done? Fuck. Shit. He’d have to clean up before the alpha came home. Shit. Where the fuck was Minseok?
The bell soon announced Chanyeol’s arrival. Baekhyun had spent the time after their phone call cleaning up his room and himself as much as he could, even if he had to do it while having a leaking bottom. People went through worse when they got herpes, what can you do? Baekhyun sucked it up and checked himself in the mirror twice before making his way to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. Only to have the breath be stolen by the appearance of the alpha in front of him. No fantasy of his could do justice to the man standing at his door. Chanyeol was gorgeous.
His hair fell in a comma across his forehead like in the morning, but he seemed to have switched his jacket for a dark sweater which made him look more delicious than humanly possible. Baekhyun would eat him up, if he’d let him.
“Want a bite?” Chanyeol asked him, his large eyes smiling brightly. A box full of granola bars was held in front of him, along with a packet which seemed to be full of other things. Chanyeol must have noticed his curiosity as he walked inside.
“I didn’t know if you had enough food at home, and I don’t think anyone can live on granola bars alone, so I brought some other things for….” he seemed to gulp, “later. Your heat’s still troubling you?”
He could probably sniff how aroused Baekhyun was. But instead of making him feel embarrassed, the man was all concern and gentleness as he cupped Baekhyun’s face with one hand and pressed on his forehead with the other. “You’re even running a fever,” he tutted, unaware of how Baekhyun’s lightheadedness was to be blamed entirely on his clean, fresh-washed linen scent and no foreign virus. Oh, it was a fever.
“I…” Chanyeol seemed to be hesitating, which brought Baekhyun out of his stupor. “I really want to… but you haven’t told me your name. I know what it is, because you and your friends are on half the billboards in the city, but you should probably say it.” Baekhyun could not help but smile at that. How could this handsome alpha be so utterly cute?
“Baekhyun. Byun,” he cleared his throat. “Byun Baekhyun.”
“Okay, Baekhyun Byun Byun Baekhyun. Will you let me feed you something before we head to your room?”
Baekhyun pouted, but nodded nevertheless, patiently waiting at the dining table while Chanyeol pulled a pack of yogurt and some granola out. Baekhyun poured both of them some water and juice to busy himself while Chanyeol cut up whatever fruit he had managed to find in the house. They were probably Jongdae’s peaches, and screw Jongdae. There were two separate bowls full of fruit, yogurt and chunks of granola once he was done, and Baekhyun was happy to dig in.
“So, do you live here alone?” Chanyeol asked him between bites. “I don’t see anyone else around.”
“No, Minseok and Jongdae are away for now. Maybe you’ll get to see them later, though.”
“That will be fun. I actually quite like your band’s music. Blooming Days was such a good song.”
Baekhyun gasped mockingly. “Park Chanyeol, are you a sasaeng? Should I call Junmyeon?”
Chanyeol giggled with his mouth full, nodding along. “You have finally caught on. I thought I would have to ask you to sign my butt with lipstick to drop a hint.”
Baekhyun smirked coyly, as much as he could with a spoon in his mouth. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”
Chanyeol was a blushing mess in front of him for the rest of their brief lunch, until the meal was done. And then the realisation that they were finally going to head into his room to do all kinds of things two people do inside a room dawned on Baekhyun, and now he was the blushing mess.
Chanyeol collected their bowls before walking to the kitchen counter and washing them. Baekhyun cooed at the neatness. Alphas like that really do drop down from heaven, don't they? He had no reason to complain. Only a little apprehension, some nerves, tiny voices squeaking it’s happening oh my god it’s happening it’s actually happening inside his head, but all that one can deal with.
“So,” Chanyeol started as he followed Baekhyun to his room. “Are there any specific things you like or dislike during sex?”
Baekhyun thought for a second. “I don’t like choking, never do that,” he mentioned while turning his duvet up, “I don’t mind most other things, but it would be best to take it slow, right?”
Chanyeol seemed confused, standing in front of Baekhyun’s bed while the other plopped by a pillow in front of him, laid out like a magazine spread, kawaii version. “How slow?”
“Just, we can..” Baekhyun tutted and moved closer to Chanyeol, who was on his knees, holding the alpha's large palm in both of his. “We can hold hands,” he hummed, looking up, “but you can also really fuck me now, because I’ve been wet ever since you walked through my door with a lifetime supply of granola bars.”
Chanyeol was happy to comply.
my apologies for butchering and bending a lot of medical stuff to my whim, but technically abo is fantasy and i can play around with it. hopefully. dont hurt me. >.<
come say hi!
next update shall hopefully be around in a day or two, so you can follow me on twitter or subscribe here to know when! because, well, that's the smut and i dont want to leave y'all hanging too long! i have the chapter but i'm just trying to pace myself so :D
thank you so much for the response and comments to this, and for reading this story as well. I hope when I finish writing this and you all reading it it becomes a story that you enjoyed. :) have a good day! xxx
Kissing Chanyeol was overwhelming.
Baekhyun had had many kisses in his life. The few dates he had been on loved to kiss, and so Baekhyun would indulge them. However, he somehow always managed to get bored with the act by the end of it, which was only a foreshadowing of the relationship itself. The few times he had made out with someone at a bar had been drunk and sloppy, even if it felt good in the moment. There were some passionate kisses he cherished from his previous relationships, of course, but none could compare to having Chanyeol’s lips on his. It’s not that Chanyeol kissed with some expert technique, or that he immediately dove into Baekhyun’s mouth and surprised him with his roughness (not that he would be opposed to that). No, Chanyeol carefully balanced gentle and passionate. Even before their lips had touched, Chanyeol had cupped his chin and run his hands across Baekhyun’s hair only to drop a kiss on his cheek, and even the frail press of lips had managed to make Baekhyun burn. The alpha had not stopped, no, but weaved a path with his lips down Baekhyun’s cheek and neck into his collarbone instead. Too far gone, Baekhyun had arched up into submission as Chanyeol kneeled on the bed as well, bringing all his heat with him, his other arm snaking around Baekhyun’s waist to explore the small of his back under his loose top. They were much closer now, and Baekhyun’s mind was clouded by Chanyeol’s scent, his kisses, the heat in the mere inches between their bodies. What could he do?
He simply kissed back, when Chanyeol rubbed his thumb across Baekhyun’s lips between heavy breaths and pulled him closer by the chin, Baekhyun simply kissed back. Kissing Chanyeol was overwhelming, because it was not just a kiss, but Chanyeol’s hands all over his body too. One squeezing his sides while the other stayed carefully on his neck, right where he alpha had earlier kissed him. His hums and the licks of his tongue were in Baekhyun’s ears. His broad shoulders were in his eyes for the brief seconds they’d part, and then Baekhyun would wrap his arms around that skin and forget anything that could anchor him to the world, his bed, but this alpha and the heat between them.
“So overwhelming,” Baekhyun gulped.
Chanyeol must have heard him, they were so close. “You have no idea,” he whispered back, pressing his lower half into Baekhyun’s, his hardness making itself known. Baekhyun wanted a taste, but where should he begin? Where did he begin?
Chanyeol was unbuttoning his top between kisses, and then he was taking his own sweater and shirt off in one go, and then there was way more skin than before. Skin that he wanted Baekhyun to touch, because he was bringing Baekhyun’s hands back to his shoulders as he brought his own back to the omega’s waist, not stopping there. Chanyeol’s hands went up, over his arms, down, on his bottom out of all places. Squeezing his butt. The luxurious pace offered no respite to Baekhyun, who continued to feel himself get wetter and wetter with every caress, every pull of his butt towards Chanyeol’s body which only made him feel the alpha’s hardness more.
Too much, Chanyeol was too much.
Baekhyun was on his back before he could comprehend he was, and Chanyeol had slowed his kisses down to enjoy the space around his collarbones instead, alternating between kissing and licking and sniffing while one of his arms held him, the other busy playing with his nipples. He was exactly as slow as Baekhyun had wanted him to be.
“I’ve wanted to do this since the first time I saw you this morning,” the alpha told him before dropping a peck on the tip of his ear. Baekhyun could only hum in response.
“Your skin’s so soft, Baekhyun,” the alpha bit his shoulder to prove his point.
Baekhyun giggled. “It’s the…uh…the..”
“The?” the other taunted, the fingers on his nipple suddenly squeezing harder.
“Ah… the baby blanket….”
“The baby blanket,” Chanyeol chuckled. Baekhyun whined and punched his tricep. It wasn’t even an arm, just pure muscle. Baekhyun was properly pouting now. “Don’t tease.”
“Then what should I do?” the alpha teased further, stopping his ministrations completely, making Baekhyun let out a long whine.
“Anything but that,” the omega replied breathlessly. Chanyeol laughed.
Baekhyun found confidence in the moments he was given. Chanyeol seemed as affected as him, perhaps just as flustered and aroused. The tips of his ears— which were adorably large, he now noticed, were flushed red. His face was hiding in Baekhyun’s shoulder, even if he could feel the alpha’s smile in the brief moments he would pause before pressing his lips to the omega’s skin again. The hand that was earlier teasing his nipples to drive Baekhyun crazy was now languidly playing around, taking it slow. Baekhyun held that large palm in his, making sure the alpha was looking at him for what he was about to do.
Ever so slowly, not looking away from the man on top of him, Baekhyun directed that palm to his pants, pulling them down with his own hands until Chanyeol’s fingers rested on hot, flushed, wet skin and he was taking a sharp breath in.
It felt good to have Chanyeol like this. To have him cover the entirety of his body with his own and have his hands on his most intimate parts. Baekhyun was by no definition slender, just as broad as Minseok and taller than both him and Jongdae, if only a little more lean because he did not have a beefing up phase like Minseok did. Yet, there was something about having a six-feet tall alpha cover the entirety of his body with his own that made him feel small, a little cherished. These were the things you could not feel during your heat alone. It was not just touch, but the friction of denim against skin, the heat of someone’s breath near your ear, on your neck, the fullness of Chanyeol’s palm around his cock, the cooling air after Chanyeol spread his precum, arousing him to full hardness.
Baekhyun was a goner, of course.
He hastily pulled his pants down completely to arch and thrust into Chanyeol’s hands, a satisfied moan leaving his lips. His own hands, between moments of coherence, were trying to unbutton the alpha’s jeans while his legs simply did not cooperate and one pulled up against Chanyeol’s waist, locking him in. Baekhyun felt shameless exposing himself to Chanyeol like this, but he was too far gone to want anything except more.
Chanyeol’s hand was moving down to the hole between his legs, collecting the wetness that had pooled there and bringing it back up to his dick, spreading it around and going back while his mouth left blooming bruises on Baekhyun’s baby skin. Baekhyun could only take so much of not being close enough, and once Chanyeol’s jeans were out of the way he pulled the alpha in with both his legs, until their erections rubbed against each other. The friction of skin against skin, the heat…Baekhyun was going to combust if not for Chanyeol.
The alpha raised his head from where it had been sucking on Baekhyun’s amply swollen chest to turn him around, pushing his upper back down and his butt up until Baekhyun could feel his hot breath on the slick that was still leaking from him, only in more copious amounts now. Before Baekhyun could get used to the sensation, there was a tongue licking into it as well, making him lose all sense of reality and bury himself into his bedcovers, which magically still had the lingering after-notes of Jongdae’s air freshener. The heat coiling within him and the coolness of the sheets could not have offered a greater contrast as Chanyeol heartily ate him out, never going too far in but not pulling back either. It seemed as if to the alpha Baekhyun’s ass was simply a delicious bowl of ice-cream.
Baekhyun was melting, to be fair.
“God,” the alpha grunted before pushing a finger into Baekhyun’s hole, making him moan into his pillow, bite it. “Chanyeol,” he could only whisper.
“It’s so hard to control myself,” the alpha replied, his two fingers opening Baekhyun up, and then there were three.
Baekhyun turned his head to look back at him, not changing his position, only pushing his butt back until those fingers were deeper in than before and his breath hitched, all while the alpha’s eyes were on his. “Don’t.”
Baekhyun felt delirious when Chanyeol’s cock finally breached through his entrance. He had thought of this all day, in various positions. On his back, imagining Chanyeol all over him, on his hands and knees as Chanyeol would rock into him like a beast, on the edge of his bed as Chanyeol would use him like a sleeve for his cock, just a toy. But nothing would compare to the sensation of the alpha’s cock sinking into him, slowly, pulling out again and going in again and again until he bottomed out. Nothing could compare to the press of Chanyeol’s lips on his shoulder and how his arm snaked under the omega to pinch at his nipples as he drove in, to the bites he left on Baekhyun’s back and nape as he kept going.
Baekhyun could only moan.
Is this what finding the perfect partner felt like? Baekhyun had had his fair share of experiences— with toys, alphas, betas, even omegas, but none had fit so well. None had driven him so crazy, making saliva pool in his mouth as he lost himself to the incoherence of being fucked well after months. Chanyeol was going to ruin him, not just today but for every other time to come. Where else would he find a cock that fit so snugly in his womb? Its throbbing veins sent shivers down Baekhyun’s spine until he arched with every movement, Chanyeol’s hips arching with him and thrusting up, up, in, until Baekhyun couldn’t even hold himself up enough, falling flat on the alpha’s arm under him.
The thrusting continued until Baekhyun could not even recognise himself being bodily pushed into the pillows above, dazed pleasure evident on his face as he moaned in deep satisfaction. If only he could lay there and have Chanyeol thrust into him all week.
The alpha would not mind his cruel intentions, it seemed, as he squeezed Baekhyun’s globes before slapping each cheek, one after the other. He was shameless. They both were. Baekhyun suddenly clenched at the sensation, the shock too much for him, and Chanyeol grunted at the feeling.
“Fuck, do that again,” the alpha ordered.
Baekhyun could do nothing but comply, and from then on both him and Chanyeol could only push deeper and closer into each other until both were nothing but grunts and moans as Chanyeol emptied himself into Baekhyun and Baekhyun could feel the alpha’s cum flooding into him, making him feel warm on the inside like nothing ever had, while he released his own. It lasted forever, the connection, as if Chanyeol wanted to be within Baekhyun just as much as Baekhyun wanted to be inside his skin. When the alpha eventually made to pull out, Baekhyun pulled his trick again and clenched to keep him inside, hearing the alpha chuckle on his side.
Baekhyun was floating on a cloud as Chanyeol bodily lifted him for a second to remove the soiled sheet before depositing both of them on the bed together, his cock still buried deep inside. The alpha hummed in deep satisfaction as he pulled the omega close, his arms encircling a smiling Baekhyun who was now turning his head in demand for a kiss. Chanyeol kissed him deep and slow, pecking his cheeks, the tip of his nose and his chin as Baekhyun lost all the strength that was holding him up and embedded himself into the alpha’s side, the tall man spooning him as his cock remained buried within the omega. Full, Baekhyun felt so full.
“You’ve ruined me, Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun taunted before losing himself to sleep, Chanyeol’s husky laugh an echo in his ears.
the smut that was promised! thank you so much for reading this. i hope you all enjoy this because tbh i am no seasoned smut writer i just tried my best. from now on we'll have weekly updates, so please look forward to the next chapter next week! it'll be easier if you subscribe :) you can also follow me on twitter @/bunbaekhyunie, in case you would like to read the many more tweetfics i read and share (and get inspired by) by really wonderful cb writers. hope you have a good day and enjoy this update!
Chapter 4: wondering what i seem like in your world
Hello! Apologies for missing last week, I was swamped with work, still am, but I managed to finish this chapter up. Hope you all are enjoying it so far and that you like this one as well! Lmk if you have any thoughts/suggestions/comments! I love reading them. I'm also terribly sorry for not replying to them yet-- I will!!! they make me so happy!!! I'm just stuck with this shitload of work that does. not. end. :(
Baekbeom hyung had brought Mongryong home with their parents on a cold winter day. He was a tiny little thing, his tail barely as long as Baekhyun’s pointer fingers, his scurrying feet even smaller. Baekhyun, who had been the baby of the Byun household until then, was an eighteen year old adult and was not envious of having someone tinier and cuter in the house, thank you very much. He loved Mongryong. He always played with him. But if sometimes he saw his eomma feeding the pup some extra chicken scraps or bacon, or his hyung bathing the corgi in a bathtub, cooing over how much the dog enjoyed bath time, Baekhyun would take a moment to tell them they’re spoiling Monggie too much, and what kind of dog needs so much work? he can bathe himself just dump him in water. Baekbeom would only laugh in response, asking him if he wanted a bath too. Eighteen year old Baekhyun, who was not jealous, would only huff and turn away and say he’s too old to be bathed. Because that was the truth, at eighteen he had felt too old to allow himself to be babied and pampered, and could no longer admit that sometimes he did want someone taking care of him. It tends to happen when you’re stupid.
And how stupid Baekhyun had been, because it felt so good to be babied.
That’s what Chanyeol had been doing to him for the past three days. Babying him. As much as Baekhyun loved Mongryong, if only that corgi could look at him now. In a bathtub— yes, Baekhyun had one installed in their dorm because he had no plans of moving out soon and an idol needs his bubble baths once in a while, having someone massage shampoo onto his scalp with gentleness and care that had his toes curling up, putting any masseuse to shame, peppering his skin with kisses, humming melodies in his ear. This was the life, really.
“You seem to be enjoying this,” the alpha behind him mused.
“Hmm…. you have no idea,” Baekhyun agreed.
“I think,” there was a hand snaking between his legs now, “I do have some idea.”
Baekhyun chuckled despite himself. Thank god Mongryong was not there to see him. He loved his corgi but he could not scandalise and corrupt that innocent baby with the sight of what was about to go down, what had been going down for the past three days. A lot of sex, mostly, but the kind that managed to excite Baekhyun into submission every single time. Chanyeol was as insatiable as Baekhyun, somehow. Sometimes even more. He had been awakened the evening after their first time to the alpha’s fingers in his hole, playing with his slick, and had been fucked slow and steady through multiple orgasms before the alpha emptied himself inside him. Breakfast next morning had been supplemented by a sweet treat before Chanyeol left to check on his apartment and grab a change of clothes, Baekhyun delaying his departure on his knees with the alpha’s cock in his mouth. Chanyeol had helped him make lunch when he came back, freshly showered, and fed it to him too before he carried the omega to his room for dessert. That had been yesterday, and Baekhyun had woken up today to the suggestion of a warm bath, and really, who was Baekhyun, slave to Chanyeol’s whims and fancies and large ears, to say no?
Of course, between bouts of sex they had talked too. At first, about each other, Baekhyun pleasantly surprised to find out Chanyeol was a composer and in the same industry as him, even more surprised to find out Chanyeol loved dogs— especially the photo of Mongryong he showed him, but hated his own pet Toben. Adult jealousy like theirs came in all shapes and sizes, he supposed. Chanyeol was also amazing in the kitchen but not the best in the cleaning department, in which Baekhyun pulled his own weight thanks to being around neat freaks like Minseok so it was fine. Chanyeol had also seen Umbrella Academy and loved the OST so much he had all tracks in his music library, which he played and hummed along with while cooking dinner last night. I love Billie Eilish but this version of Bad Guy is so much better, he had exclaimed, his butt unconsciously shaking to the song’s beats. They didn’t know each other by any means, but these were tidbits of information Baekhyun just kept noting as he found himself spending more and more time with the man, his dorm feeling like a vacation home. It was also not like he wanted to take whatever they had further. Would he keep a freshly awake Chanyeol with his eyes half-open and his hair ruffled up trying to figure out where he was and smiling dopily at Baekhyun when he figured it out and snuggled into him in his pocket? Of bloody course he would, but it had just been three days, and Baekhyun was not foolish enough to lose all cognisance of reality in the name of some phantom love. That would just not do. But he did find it easy to lose himself in Chanyeol, under Chanyeol, to enjoy these few days they got as they were meant to be— fully.
So here they were, Baekhyun bouncing on Chanyeol’s thick and veiny hardness as water sloshed around them, spilling over. There was something about riding Chanyeol in this position, being able to look at him give up control and moan with his head thrown back and his arms tight like bands on Baekhyun’s waist— Baekhyun felt like he was fucking him.
“You like that?” he taunted the too-far-gone alpha as he ground shallowly into him, Baekhyun’s erection rubbing into his abdomen.
“Please,” Chanyeol begged.
“Please what, babe?”
Chanyeol was grunting every time Baekhyun picked himself up from between Chanyeol’s spread legs and brought himself down on his cock again, deeper and deeper. He was clenching down, doing that thing the alpha liked, and he could see how it was driving the boy crazy, his lips almost red from being bitten and holding back moans. Baekhyun moved further in and pulled Chanyeol’s lips into his, not stopping for a single second, and only going rougher and faster as they kissed. Soon, Chanyeol was a moaning mess, spilling into him as he groaned in his deep voice, spanking his pretty ass to make him feel the cum slosh inside.
Really, thank God Mongryong wasn’t here to witness this.
Once he had collected himself, Chanyeol proceeded to pull Baekhyun under a shower before sucking him off, Baekhyun’s orgasm taking mere seconds after him being so painfully aroused at the feeling of being fucked and filled by the alpha. Their caresses during the shower, Baekhyun refusing to let Chanyeol stay further than an inch from him at all amounts of time and Chanyeol heartily indulging his clinginess and kissing him senseless as Rihanna played through one of their phones in a corner of the bathroom, all seemed to pass by in a blur as Baekhyun soon found himself sitting by the dining table and chopping vegetables for dinner, while Chanyeol prepared the broth. The mundanity of it was such a contrast to earlier, but Baekhyun enjoyed the lulls as much as he did the almost psychotic passion of his heat. Moments as inane as chopping vegetables calm you, remind you that life’s best flavours are not found in a concentrated whole but in the slices we manage to find every day. “Yokshi!” Chanyeol exclaimed upon tasting his broth, apparently very satisfied with the flavour, making Baekhyun smile. Yes, it’s all about the little things and all that.
Speaking of little things, it was close to eight which meant Minseok and Jongdae would be arriving soon. Maybe Junmyeon would too, and that meant Baekhyun would have to introduce all three of them to the alpha he had basically been banging in most corners of the dorm for the past few days. Thank god he had remembered to open the windows and air the house out, because he would not be able to take any allusion to sex from Jongdae of all people. If Minseok was his hyung Jongdae was his annoying twin, except they neither looked alike nor were they born on the same day. They just were the kind of siblings neither of them had, the kind that beat each other up for a TV remote but would also beat each other’s bullies up in some dark alley even if the bullies were taller than their heights combined. (It happened once during trainee days when they were going home after practice, okay? They were cornered near a subway but Jongdae managed to bite one guy’s foot before they ran like squirrels and never discussed it again.) So it basically felt like introducing Chanyeol to his family, except there was nothing to introduce…. apart from the sex. What would Baekhyun even say? Hey, meet the guy that fucked me six ways to Sunday while you three were gone, he’s tall and cute and seems kind of perfect but we know I don’t want a relationship right now but he’s a great cook so if anyone wants to keep him around to have his spectacular yogurt bowls and stew I would be really down for that.
Baekhyun groaned internally as he diced the last carrot. That was going to be a fun conversation.
It would make up for not having a conversation with Chanyeol about it anyway. Baekhyun had been toying with the words in his mind, wondering how he could gently tell Chanyeol that even if the alpha was perfect for him and Baekhyun could see himself falling in love with him—not even eventually but like, every time they kissed, he could not commit to anything right now. He had so many reasons for it too, these past days seeming too good to be true being the biggest one. But there was also the fact that all his past relationships had been mostly failures, Baekhyun apparently always being cautious but ending up putting too much of himself into the relation ship— only to have it blow up in his face when the partner inevitably left. He just wasn’t cut out for love, he had come to believe.
Chanyeol must have noticed the dip in his mood, because he walked over to him with a ladle making him taste a scrap of chicken in the broth before planting a kiss on the top of his head, right where his fans tagged the kyoongsprout on his photos. God damn it, this idiot kissed the kyoongsprout.
“What’s got you feeling low?”
“Just thinking,” Baekhyun could only say sullenly.
Chanyeol was quick to place the ladle on the table and bring his large arms around Baekhyun, making him feel all the warmth from his hoodie. Baekhyun could only sink in. Who invented hoodie fabrics? Why were they so perfect for hugs? Where was that person’s Nobel prize?
Chanyeol just knew that he didn’t have to prod. That was him, all instinctive and always a step ahead of Baekhyun. Maybe that is why he knew exactly the question to ask Baekhyun, one which he could never say no to.
“After I go back, can we remain friends? Your taste in music is too good to let you go. And you have more money than me.”
Baekhyun’s chuckle was muffled inside Chanyeol’s hoodie cave. So was his answer. But he knew the alpha could tell it was a yes, because Chanyeol was parting mere inches from him to look him the eyes with dead seriousness, making Baekhyun hold his breath for whatever was to come.
“Baekhyun, I’m serious about this. I don’t care how you do it, but you have to make me meet Mongryong.”
“Are you a Mongryong sasaeng?”
“My bias is actually Minseok.”
“Thanks, he doesn’t like Umbrella Academy.”
Chanyeol had no response to that, his face morphed into an expression of utter shock. Baekhyun pulled the jar of almond butter on the table to himself, scooping out a spoonful and maintaining perfect eye-contact with the alpha as he licked it. “Go, finish the broth for your bias then, he’ll be here soon.”
Soon happened to be fifteen minutes. Baekhyun was just about to text his eomma (upon Chanyeol’s insistence) for more pictures of Mongryong when the two heard loud groans from outside the door, which could only mean Jongdae was near. Soon, the code was punched in and a sharp-looking Junmyeon in a half sweater over his shirt entered along with Minseok and Jongdae in sweats. How did Junmyeon always manage to out-dress all three of them combined? “Yah Byun Baekhyun,” Jongdae started, not noticing the alpha who was standing near the kitchen counter, “did you cook for us? It smells so good in here!”
Baekhyun smiled at that. “Chanyeol did,” he answered, bringing their attention to said alpha. None of them seemed particularly surprised to find him there, waving at him and asking him how’s it going and all that, casual bro talk. Only Minseok came closer to Baekhyun by the table and looked at him with concern. “Baek, has your heat passed?” he asked, his voice not too loud. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m good hyung, I feel much better. Chanyeol helped me through it.”
Minseok nodded. “I can see that. That’s good to know,” he smiled, ruffling Baekhyun’s hair. “We missed you. I’m going to shower before I give you your gift, be right back.”
All three of them had picked up the habit of bringing each other something back every time they left town. It had started with Jongdae randomly bringing both of them a box of chocolates once he had gone for a vacation with his family in Jeju, and both Minseok and Baekhyun had found the hallabong and malcha chocolates so delicious they picked boxes up for each other on their next trips. And then it became a thing, Baekhyun bringing matcha kitkats back from Japan because Minseok insisted those had the best flavour, Jongdae depositing two jars of some unique coffee on the table last December that Minseok had emptied and Baekhyun was halfway through, Minseok arriving home once right around breakfast only to tell Baekhyun and Jongdae to use the nut butters he bought them on their toast instead of jam. It’s not like any of them were particularly good cooks, or the kind of people who could not live without food, but life was too short to always live on diet food. Especially when muffins existed, which Minseok and Jongdae had somehow managed to pick a box of on their drive home and passed to Baekhyun once all five of them sat for dinner.
Jongdae and Junmyeon were already friendly with Chanyeol, the latter apparently knowing him from work and the former just being his usual verbose self. Really, everyone thought Baekhyun was the talkative one but Jongdae could chat even Chanyeol’s large ears off. Minseok, meanwhile, was busy telling Baekhyun about their time at the shoot. It had been for a variety program and him and Jongdae had managed to visit a restaurant, a picturesque forest and an archery range of all things while on it. Baekhyun was internally full of relief at the fact that Jongdae had not teased him about Chanyeol so far, but it only took one moment for the alpha to go to their kitchen to bring dessert out for Jongdae to wiggle his eyebrows and make weird faces at him. Baekhyun would have thrown his chopstick at the boy had Junmyeon not intervened.
“What’s so funny?” Chanyeol asked on his way back, hearing the fag end of the commotion.
“Nothing,” Minseok said between a chuckle. “Jongdae was just talking to Baek about this new flavour he likes.” Junmyeon just sang Red Flavour on the side.
Chanyeol scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, but decided to let it go apparently. He was back to Baekhyun’s side, serving him a scoop and passing him a muffin. They might as well be married at this rate, Baekhyun thought.
And they might as well be, for when dinner was done and everyone was ready to retire to their room (yes, even Junmyeon, who had a spare one in their uber rich apartment because that’s what being a successful idol is all about— your company wanting you and your manager under their radar at all times. And rent is expensive okay?) Chanyeol did not think twice before pulling Baekhyun by his hand to his— theirs? It felt like theirs. Still, Baekhyun allowed it, he knew his limits, he could handle a little domesticity for their sake. It was Junmyeon calling out his name that stopped him, however.
When Baekhyun was close and Chanyeol far enough, Junmyeon was quick to ask him. “This Chanyeol…. is he okay?”
Baekhyun tutted. “Yes, Mom,” he replied in full English. “He’s…. nice.”
“And you’re okay?”
Junmyeon’s questions were usually this vague. It seemed as if he himself could not articulate the anxiety he was facing in order to warn the other of it better, and Baekhyun had been witness to many a breakdowns to know. Whoever thought adulthood meant having everything sorted?
“I am okay hyung, it’s not that serious anyway. Don’t worry,” he reassured his friend with a smile.
Junmyeon patted his head and wished him goodnight. And with freshly fed alpha waiting for him in his bed, probably ready to celebrate the last of his heat together, he guessed it was going to be. Baekhyun could only pull another muffin from the box on the table for extra energy.
Chapter 5: we talk all night long
hello! here's a small update, more like an interlude. or a pause? just felt like this and just this much goes here. :) enjoy! i'll definitely update the next chapter sooner. :D thank you, always, for your comments and kudos. i am really happy you enjoy this story and are on this painstaking wip journey with me, even if i am slower than i hoped.
I hate waking up, Baekhyun thought. He hated waking up.
There is no particular reason why. Some people are just morning persons, smiling before their eyes can fully open and take in the light, never snoozing more than five times, making their bed and wearing shoes with laces before 10AM and having a full breakfast before 11. Baekhyun was simply not one of them. He liked going to sleep. Showering before bed so that when he sunk in his mattress he could feel its warmth better, snuggling inside a blanket even in summer, settling in his soft pillow and drifting in and out of sleep the entire night until he could simply not snooze his morning alarm anymore. He did not like to wake up. What did waking up mean? That the previous day had ended? A new day had to begin? That no matter how precious, fulfilling and memorable a day has been and no matter how much we try to hold on to it, make it last a little longer, if not forever, we at some point have to give it away, face its end in dusk? What joy is it to wake up then? To look at Chanyeol’s long eyelashes for hours as the sun rises in his window, try to gently touch them to see if he could be real, confirm if the slow rise of his chest is not a figment of Baekhyun’s imagination, only to have it all thrown in his face when the sun’s first rays illuminate his world enough to remind him he had to begin again, say goodbye to the comforting quiet of midnight hours? Why couldn’t it always be the night?
The night would have him and Chanyeol being sweaty post another round of sex, Chanyeol seated deep inside him because the sensation felt so good as they came off their highs and matched their breaths. They had talked for hours last night. Or between hours, as tiny blinks stretched into minutes of sleep increasingly impossible to escape while a clock ticked in some corner. What did Shakespeare know of time when it ambled, trot, galloped and stood still, all in one night? Sometimes Baekhyun would wake up to the alpha kissing every inch of the curve of his shoulder. Sometimes he would murmur a passing thought in Chanyeol’s ear, half-expecting him to respond, chatting his ear off when he would. Baekhyun liked to play footsie at 3AM, Chanyeol liked to play with his hair at four. Even half asleep, fighting the exhaustion of their conveniently coincidental retreat, Baekhyun wanted their embrace to last as long as possible. Could anyone blame him for cursing the sun?
Let it be known, however, that Baekhyun was a man of dignity. He may have felt morose at the thought of having Chanyeol gone even in his sleep, but he would not let it show like some lovesick puppy. Which he was not. He just enjoyed the company. His bed was really big for one person. Too many pillows. Too thin blanket. Is it his fault Chanyeol was always warm and fit perfectly?
No, so Baekhyun just sucked it up and went back to sleep as soon as the alpha next to him showed signs of waking up. If he must face the eternal Sisyphean cycle of diurnal rhythms then he would rather do it a few hours later. Preferably with Chanyeol still curled up next to him, grabbing and occasionally fondling his ass with his large hand while the other would pull him closer and hike his leg up across Chanyeol’s waist higher. Sometimes Baekhyun wiggled to remind him if the alpha got too sleepy.
Whatever, he thought, Chanyeol could sacrifice his REM cycle for one more day.