Really, when all was said and done, the whole thing was Aizawa’s fault, since he was the one who broke Bakugou’s wrist in the first place. Or maybe it was Recovery Girl’s fault, since she was the one who refused to heal it for a week, saying he had to actually deal with his injuries since it was the fourth training accident he’d been in that week.
It wasn’t bad, just a fracture, but it meant his wrist had to be in a cast for a week. It was his right hand, so Kirishima offered to share notes with him. To Kirishima’s surprise, though, Bakugou shrugged him off and just started writing with his left hand. Before Kirishima could comment, though, Aizawa shambled through the door with eyes that would suffer no whisperers to live, wrapped in the shawl he only wore when he was in a particularly bad mood. It was knitted and bright yellow with a daisy pattern.
After class, they all went to Lunch Rush, and Kirishima finally decided to ask. Sero beat him to it, though.
“Don’t call me that,” Bakugou growled. “Only my nemesis gets to call me Kacchan.”
“Uh, okay, anyway, are you okay with notes now that your wrist is broken?”
Bakugou shot him a disdainful glance. “I’m ambidextrous, idiot.”
Kirishima and Denki’s eyes widened in sudden realization. Of course. Everything made sense now. They sprung to their feet with such zeal that Kirishima’s chair clattered to the floor and Denki slammed his knee into the table.
“Wow! Congratulations!” Denki cheered.
“That’s wassup, bro!” Kirishima’s voice overlapped.
“I’m glad you trust us enough to confide in us!” Denki said so loudly it drowned out Kirishima’s cheer of “love who you love!”
Bakugou gave them a weird look as he swallowed a mouthful of rice. “It’s not like I’m keeping it a secret.”
“Yeah, I kind of guessed,” Mina said, “but what does that have to do with your wrist?”
Bakugou rolled his eyes and stood up. “I have to study. I don’t have time to deal with you extras.”
As he walked away, Kirishima squeezed into the booth next to Denki.
“He’s so manly,” he whispered, a single gleaming tear leaking from his eye. “That’s just like him, to be so open and yet so uncaring! What a man!”
Denki elbowed him in the ribs. “I guess you have a chance now, huh!”
Kirishima elbowed him back with a hardened elbow.
“I can’t wait to see who else in our class is ambidextrous,” Sero said. “Now that Bakugou’s out, so many more people will be able to get up the courage!”
“And he’s not keeping it a secret,” Mina added, “so we can totally gossip about it! Oh man, Momo and Jiro finally have something to bond with him over! I have to tell them!”
As soon as they were back in their seats for math class, two minutes before the start, Mina excitedly gathered the girls together.
“Did you hear?” she said excitedly. “Kacchan came out as…hm, what’s the word?”
“Gay?” Uraraka suggested.
Mina shook her head. “No, no, it’s the one where it’s both.”
“You mean bisexual,” Momo said.
Mina shook her head again. “No, it’s the one that starts with an a and means you like both.”
“Both what?” Hakagure asked.
“Well, hang on, it can’t be both genders cuz there’re more than two…” said Jiro.
“Asexual?” Momo asked. “That used to be considered the same as bisexual.”
“No, he’s not asexual!” Mina insisted. “It’s—”
At that moment, Ectoplasm walked in and demanded they take their seats. Bakugou still kept his feet up on the desk, but now that she knew he was queer, Momo couldn’t bring herself to be annoyed at his flagrant disregard for normal seating practices.
By the next day, almost the entire class had heard. Bakugou found himself the unwelcome target of many thumbs up and kind glances, all of which he met with glares and bared teeth.
“Why’s everyone suddenly being so nice to you, Kacchan?” Izuku asked him.
Bakugou shrugged as he took his seat. “I guess they’re idiots.”
Sero grabbed Iida and Izuku by the arm. “Cuz he came out as ambidextrous!”
Iida blinked. “What?”
“Hey!” Izuku protested. “I’ve been using both fists in combat for ages, and no one’s been congratulating me!”
“Using both hands is certainly an admirable and useful skill,” Iida said. He turned to Bakugou. “You are certainly lucky.”
“You guys are being so fuckin’ weird about it!” Bakugou yelled. “I have a preference for my right hand, it just means I can take notes with this broken wrist!”
“Wait, you have a preference?” Sero asked.
“Yeah,” Denki said, “you can be ambidextrous and have a preference.”
Todoroki peered over their shoulders. “Why are you talking about hands?”
“I dunno,” Kirishima said. “We were talking about Bakugou being ambidextrous and he started talking about his wrist all of a sudden.”
Todoroki blinked. “What does ambidextrous mean?”
“It means liking two or more genders,” Denki said.
“No,” Kirishima argued, “it means attraction regardless of gender.”
“I thought it was just attraction to guys and girls,” Mina said.
“That’s trans exclusionary, though, and being ambidextrous is inclusive of nonbinary identities,” Sero told her.
“What the fuck are you guys talking about!” Bakugou yelled.
“I’m afraid I have to agree with Bakugou on this one,” Iida said. “I think you’re mixed up. Ambidextrous means you can use both hands.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Kirishima told him.
“Yeah,” Denki added. “It’s okay though, Iida. Even class representatives can be wrong sometimes. You learn something new every day!”
“You’re thinking of bisexual or pansexual,” Izuku told them.
“We’re thinking of ambidextrous!” Mina insisted. “You’re thinking of bisexual! That word means you can use two hands!”
“It doesn’t fucking matter,” Bakugou said. “I’m bisexual anyway.”
“Oh,” Sero nodded. “So that’s why you can use your left hand to write. Hey, that’s pretty cool.”
“Momo, it is your responsibility as vice representative to help me correct this misperception,” Iida said.
Momo shrugged helplessly. “They won’t listen to me.”
Iida lit up like a lightbulb. “I bet they’ll listen to Aizawa-sensei! I’ve seen him write with both hands on the board!”
As if on cue, Aizawa shuffled through the door with a mug of tea.
“Everyone take your seats,” he ordered.
Iida’s hand shot up. “Aizawa-sensei!” he called. “We have a debate that needs settling! You’re ambidextrous, correct?”
Aizawa blinked. “Yeah.”
“Wow!” Kirishima cheered. “I didn’t know you’d date all genders, sensei!”
“No, I wouldn’t. I’m gay,” Aizawa sighed before taking a long sip of his tea.
Kirishima, Mina, Denki, and Seri all blinked in shock.
“You can be gay and ambidextrous?!” Mina burst out. “Hey, hang on!”
Jiro, who had been on Twitter far too much over the past few weeks, stood up on her desk.
“We are not bringing bi lesbian discourse into this classroom!” she yelled.
“We weren’t talking about bisexuals or lesbians! Of course you can be a lesbian and use both hands! You are valid!” Kirishima told her.
“I think it’s actually better if you’re a lesbian who can use both hands,” Momo mumbled under her breath.
Jiro gasped and turned to her, betrayed. “You too, Momo?”
Unnoticed by the classroom as it descended into anarchy, Aizawa downed the rest of his tea, slid down into a corner, and started to fall asleep. It was perfectly rational to use this as an opportunity for the class to practice conflict resolution. Ojiro grabbed a blanket from Aizawa’s under-the-desk blanket stash and tucked it around his sensei’s shoulders.
Six hands slammed onto two desks, and the entire class shut up and turned as one to see Tokoyami, Dark Shadow, and Aoyama all standing, their faces resolute.
“I’ve sat here quietly long enough,” Tokoyami said, his voice quiet and firm. “The word ambidextrous has nothing to do with sexuality.”
“He’s right,” Aoyama said solemnly.
Iida sighed in relief and collapsed into his seat. Finally, some order. A good class representative could rely on his constituents for help, and Aoyama was the expert on all things queer.
“Ambidextrous means you don’t identify with any gender,” Aoyama declared to the room at large. “Bimanual means you’re attracted to people regardless of gender, dextral means you’re gay, and sinistral means you’re gay but in an evil way.”
Iida’s head hit the desk at approximately the speed of sound.
“HEY! CLASS 1-A—”
Everyone jumped in their skin except Aizawa, who simply cracked open an eye and activated his quirk in the direction of the doorway in order to shut Present Mic up before he could say anything else.
Present Mic cleared his throat and continued at a more normal volume.
“Hey, it’s not like you to let your class get so out of control, Eraser Head! What’s going on? I could hear you guys all down the hall in the teacher’s lounge! At least let me sit in on this so I can hear well enough to do a play-by-play!”
“They’re arguing over what ambidextrous means,” Aizawa told him, deadpan. “I already know what you’re going to say, and if you go along with the joke and say it means bisexual, we’re getting a divorce.”
“YOU GUYS ARE MARRIED?!” the class yelled in unison.
“This is like a goddamn press conference,” Aizawa muttered as he stood. “I’m leaving. You’re the sub for today.”
He shuffled out. Present Mic shut the door behind him.
“All right,” he announced. “Since you guys seem to be having trouble with terminology, we’re gonna have a special queer theory lesson, with a focus on vocabulary in both Japanese and English.”
Everyone quickly took their seats, eager for those who disagreed to be proven wrong.
Mina raised her hand, jumping in her seat. “Are you and Aizawa-sensei really—”
“WE’LL ADDRESS THAT AFTER THE LESSON!” Present Mic cut him off.
“I guess you really do learn something every day,” Sero sighed as they left the classroom.