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He Who Captured the Attention of the Family Prude

Summary:

Kayn goes to another party and finds out that drunk him has a taste for guys.

Notes:

This takes place right after Love and Hate, but you don't really need to read that to understand this.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kayn awoke to something gently nudging his head. He groaned and opened his eyes to see a pair of crimson pupils staring at him. “Wha…..?” He slurred, putting a hand to his mouth to wipe any morning drool. He then pushed himself up, looking down to notice his lack of clothing along with a trail of hickeys covering his chest. Even though he was hungover, he could tell this was definitely not his room. The furniture and decor looked antique and expensive, something his brokeass wouldn’t be able to afford. 

There was a shuffle and Kayn’s attention was drawn back to the person who woke him up. It was a guy with tan skin and the reddest hair he’s ever seen. His face was handsome, with every feature so perfect in proportion. 

He almost looked ethereal. 

The man got off the bed and scanned the room. He pulled some pants off the floor, then tossed them to Kayn. 

“Thanks...?” Kayn replied, his face flushing slightly. “So...um… where are we? And...who are you?” He asked, tugging on his pants. 

“If I recall, this is one of the Crownguard bedrooms on the third floor. I introduced myself yesterday, but it seems you’ve forgotten. My name is Rhaast. You mentioned your name was Kayn?”

“I did? When?”

“When we were chatting at the bar last night,”

 

Last Night~

 

“Your eyesss are really pwettyyy,”. 

Rhaast flicked his gaze to the drunk man who stumbled onto the barstool. 

The voice belonged to a man who peered at him with intense awe. His sharp features appeared to be Noxian, but he kept his long obsidian hair in a neat braid, a style many Ionians chose to wear. There was a streak of blue where the man’s bangs lied, but that, along with his matching blue eyes seemed to be the only color he had on tonight. His muscular chest was bare and the only other thing he wore was a pair of black sweat pants and some boots. 

Rhaast wasn’t particularly in the mood for company, especially the one of someone heavily intoxicated. He was only at this ridiculous party at Varus’s insistence, who disappeared the moment they stepped in the house. 

He’d wandered around the house aimlessly and observed the other students go about their...activities. Every so often, someone would offer him some substances or proposition him for a hookup, which he politely declined. These things didn’t interest him much, but he wouldn’t say no to free alcohol, even if it was cheap beer. 

He took another sip from his beer and debated ignoring the person who interrupted the little peace he created for himself in this house that was blasting loud music.  

But….it was the most eventful thing that has happened to him all evening. And he had to admit, the man seemed intriguing, even if he was drunk. He didn’t think anyone, sober or not, had ever complimented his eyes. 

Well, except for that one child. But that was long ago. 

So, he decided to humor this man and himself. “Are they really?” He mused, turning his body to face the other man. 

“Yesssssss. They…*hic*...look like mineeee,” the man slurred, rubbing his cheek on the wooden surface. 

Rhaast cocked an eyebrow. The man’s eyes were obviously blue, but he didn’t want to argue with a drunk man. He reached for his bottle once more, but before his hands could reach it,  the man snatched and downed the rest of the liquid. 

Rhaast scowled. He wondered if he was going to regret humoring this fool, but then again, why did he expect something more from a drunk man

“...thaankkk you!” The drunkard slurred and hiccuped again.

“You’re wel—”

“Wazzz yur name?” The man interrupted. 

Rhaast sighed. “My name is Rhaast. What is yours?”

“Kaynnnn!” Kayn giggled then said, “You….have a funnyy name.”

Kayn?

A Noxian fellow with an Ionian name. If memory served him right, those countries were not on the best of terms. 

How interesting.

“Yes, I know. My name is very old. It comes from an ancient language.”

“Mhmmmm,” Kayn muttered. His eyelids began to flutter and he yawned. After a minute, he was passed out. 

Rhaast watched him for a bit, before pulling out his phone to check the time. It read 8:49 PM. He wondered if it was too early to leave?

There were also a couple of missed calls from his brother, which he decided to ignore. It was a promise of a lecture when they returned home, but it was nothing he wasn’t accustomed to. 

Aatrox, being the University’s head Law professor, was an even bigger pain than Varus at times, especially when he was angry. 

And his brother was always angry. 

Rhaast skimmed the messages, which demanded to know the location of he and Varus. 

After that were some threats of taking them both out of the family inheritance if they weren’t back in the house by 11. He ignored those as well, and slipped his phone back into his pocket. His brother was an unhealthy mix of fury and overprotective. He glanced back at his source of amusement for the evening, who was still passed out. 

Well, the night was still young, might as well indulge in the rest of what this depraved place has to over. 

 

 

After his tenth drink, Rhaast wanted to punch himself for not leaving earlier. He had gotten up and made an attempt to socialize with the other party-goers, but even he got fed up with their antics after a while.  

In the corner of his eye, he saw Varus making out with his hookup of the hour. 

If Varus was considered the family’s whore, then he would be the prude, with Aatrox being somewhere in between. 

His brother was still in denial about having feelings for a certain baker. 

Someone bumped into him, causing his drink to be knocked out of his hand. It spilled on the body of a very familiar Noxian, who was now apparently awake and roaming about. 

Kayn groaned and glared at the broken bottle. He drew his gaze to meet the perpetrator, but his glare softened upon noticing a familiar face. “Ahhhhh, pwetty eyesss!” 

“Kayn,”. It seems his new friend was still quite drunk. Even though it was not his fault, he felt responsible for the mess on the other man’s chest. “Come,” he said, grabbing Kayn’s wrist, leading them to the bathrooms he found earlier. He’d clean this man up as his kind act of the evening, then take his leave. 

Varus and his slutty ass be damned. 

 

… 

 

Since all the bathrooms on the second floor were occupied, he took Kayn to an obscure one on the third floor. Kayn happily followed him without any hint of suspicion, giggling and mumbling random things to himself. Every so often, the name “Zed” would slip from his mouth, followed by a curse and some whining. Then he’d call “Syndra” to come and hit “Zed” for him. 

Syndra. 

She was one of the top students in his major. Everyone who was associated with Law and even the Humanities has heard of her. His brother always sang her praises for receiving high marks on the tests and assignments, then angrily complained she never showed up for class. “A fine student in need of discipline,” was his way of describing her.

Rhaast has never shared a conversation with the legend herself. As sociable as she was, Syndra seemed to keep everyone at arms’ length. 

Well, maybe not everyone, as Kayn seemed to be familiar with her. If he ever ran into him after this party, maybe he’d ask for an introduction. 

Rhaast pushed the door open, startled when the lights flickered on automatically, illuminating a very luxurious bathroom. 

People weren’t joking when they said the Crownguard’s had money. Even he, whose family was pretty wealthy on their own terms, was impressed.

He tugged Kayn into the bathroom and lifted the surprisingly light man onto the porcelain counter. “Stay here,” he commanded. 

“Okaaayyyyy!” Kayn flashed him a lazy grin. 

Rhaast couldn’t help but smile back. Now that they were away from all the noise, he realized the other man was quite cute. He, himself, didn’t have a particular interest in men (or women to be honest), but the drunk Noxian had a certain charm that drew him in. 

Scanning the room, he noticed another door in addition to the one they entered in. He made his way over to see if it was a closet. Instead, it was the entrance to an equally lavish and equally empty bedroom.

Closing the door, he noticed a washcloth that hung next to the sink. Returning to where he was standing before, he grabbed the washcloth and turned on the tap to soak it. 

Even the washcloth was made with expensive fabric.  

He moved back to where Kayn sat and wiped the sticky mess off his chest. 

“Tic-klesss,” Kayn muttered and spread his legs and yanked Rhaast closer.

Startled, Rhaast didn’t stop him as Kayn rubbed his face against his shirt.

“What are you…?” He muttered, surprised at his lack of interest in pulling away from Kayn. 

Leaving Rhaast’s chest, Kayn moved his arms to draw Rhaast’s neck closer to him. He nuzzled his face in the crook of the other man’s neck, and made a strange noise in his throat.

Rhaast froze. He didn’t know what the protocol was for dealing with drunk men, especially one that appeared to be….flirting with him? 

Kayn’s face felt sticky plastered to his neck. Rhaast gently cupped Kayn’s cheeks and pulled his face off. He heard Kayn whine, and in response, Rhaast said “I have to clean your face, drunken fool.”

He grabbed the washcloth he set aside and gently rubbed it over Kayn’s face. There were some dark smudges by the other man’s right eye, so he added more force there. 

“Feelsss nice,” he heard Kayn mumbled, and felt the other man lean into his hands. 

Rhaast frowned. This drunkard was testing his self-control, and he fought the urge to force a louder moan from Kayn’s lips. Clearly, he was more attractive to Kayn than he realized. 

Ignoring the pang in his crotch, he focused on the task at hand. But the dark smudges weren’t disappearing. In fact, they seem to spread the more he cleaned. Pausing, he looked at the cloth in confusion. But there were no traces of the dark pigment anywhere. In its place was some substance, a similar color to Kayn’s skin. 

“Why...uo sssstop,” Kayn pouted, butting his cheek against the back of Rhaast’s hand. 

Wetting the cloth one more, Rhaast ignored Kayn’s pouty lips and tried to wipe the rest of the substance off. When the last bit was wiped off, he set the cloth aside and gawked at the other man in awe. 

It was a birthmark; one that stretched from his right temple and stopped just before the bridge of his nose. 

It was...beautiful. 

There aren’t many things in this world that could impress him, but at the moment, this beautiful birthmark captivated him. It was such an interesting shape, curving into hooks above the brow, and under the socket. It almost looked like a wing if not for the hooks. Shame the Noxian concealed it with what he assumed to be makeup. 

Was it strange for him to have the desire to touch it? He wondered if Kayn would mind…

He apparently didn’t because moments after Rhaast had stopped cleaning him, Kayn grabbed one of his hands and pressed his cheek into the palm. “Warm….”he murmured, smiling happily. 

As if a dam inside him broke, Rhaast buried the thoughts that warned against whatever he was about to do next, and used his free hand to brush his fingers over Kayn’s mark. He was expecting it to feel rough, but the skin, save for a thin scar that lay on Kayn’s eyelid, was soft like the rest of his face. 

He wanted to touch him more. 

But Kayn had other ideas. 

Without warning, he dropped Rhaast’s hand and pulled his head towards him to press their lips together. 

Rhaast froze. 

Kayn’s lips, like the rest of his face, felt so soft pressed to his own. The drunk man nipped at Rhaat’s lips playfully, sending pangs of pleasure to his crotch. 

This probably was not the best thing to do with someone so plastered, but Kayn was crushing his reason faster than he could come up with excuses. 

The other man slid his tongue over his crease, enticing his lips to part. 

Fuck it. 

Rhaast gave into the pleasure Kayn offered and parted his lips. Kayn wasted no time in snaking his tongue in, eager to explore what Rhaast’s mouth had to offer. 

Unsurprisingly, the man tasted like beer, and like beer, he was intoxicating.

Rhaast drunk him with pleasure, tasting every nook and cranny of Kayn’s mouth. He tore away from the addictive lips, panting at his lack of breath. 

Kayn whined at the loss, but his whines were instantly replaced with moans when Rhaast brought his mouth to the other man’s neck and sucked a purple bruise on the fair skin. To add another touch, he bit the marks he made, making sure there would be evidence of the night left on Kayn’s body.

Rhaast wanted to hear more, more of those delicious moans. He kissed and bit his way down to Kayn’s muscular chest, leaving playful bites around his nipples. He took a nipple into his mouth and teased it, leaving the skin bright and red. 

He heard Kayn groan and saw his hand slip into the front of his waistband to palm his very obvious erection. 

Rhaast grinned, an idea suddenly sparking in his mind. He grabbed the waistband of Kayn’s sweats and tentatively took them off. 

The other man welcomed the freeing of his legs and kicked the last bit off himself.

Rhaast, then, tore off his own shirt and dumped it on the ground and did not bother with Kayn’s undergarments because unsurprisingly, the man wasn’t wearing any. He placed his fingers on the toned legs before kneeling down and shifting into a comfortable position. He peppered kisses along the other man’s inner thighs and gently bit the tender skin, leaving more marks that matched the ones on his chest. Stopping to admire the other’s erection, slicked with pre-cum, Rhaast kissed his way up the shaft and wrapped lips around the head of Kayn’s cock. 

With his arms wrapped around Kayn’s open legs, his tongue teased the crown, drawing hoarse moans from Kayn’s lips. To be honest, this was a skill Rhaast wasn’t the most confident in, considering he hasn’t used it in a while. But the way Kayn gripped his hair made him a bit more certain, as he coated the slit with sticky fluids. He could taste the salty pre-cum as he took in more of the other man into his mouth. 

“A-ahh...use...t-eeth,” Kayn huffed and pushed Rhaast’s head even deeper. 

Cocky little shit.

Rhaast granted his request and lightly scraped his teeth on the sensitive skin. He felt Kayn jerk, indicating his pleasure. Rhaast did it a couple more times as he bobbed his head up and down Kayn’s shaft, feeling Kayn’s fingers tighten as he came close to an orgasm. 

“I...cum-ING!”

Rhaast felt Kayn violently trembles as warm cum spilled into his mouth. He tried his best not to gag because the stuff, no matter his partner, always tasted disgusting. He quickly got up and spit the fluid into the sink and checked on Kayn. 

The man leaned against the mirror, fast asleep. 

Rhaast sighed. The night was finally getting interesting, but his partner had to fall asleep, leaving him half-hard and slightly disappointed. He was looking forward to seeing Kayn writhe under him in pleasure, with more of his sweet moans filling his ears. 

This is what you get for not going home when you had the chance. 

Forcing his regrets out of his thoughts, he cleaned Kayn up for the second that evening and carried the sleeping man into the adjacent bedroom. Dumping the other man on the bed, Rhaast went back to the bathroom, cleaned himself up and picked up their clothing

He walked back to the bedroom and dumped the clothes on the ground somewhere, then fished his phone out of his pocket. It was almost 12 AM. There were more texts and missed calls from his brother and surprisingly one from Varus. He tapped his screen to open it. 

 

Varus: I find it amusing that someone managed to capture the attention of the family prude.

 

The text was sent a couple of hours ago, so he didn’t bother replying. He didn’t want Varus to nag him for details later on, then find out he’d been left with blue balls. 

Rhaast sat on the bed at stared at Kayn’s peaceful. He wondered when was the last time he slept that peacefully. He debated heading home, but he wasn’t looking forward to Aatrox’s lectures, especially at this hour. He knew his brother well enough to be sure the man would wake up just to chide him until it was time for class. 

He kicked off his shoes and crawled in beside Kayn, his exhaustion pulling him into a nightmarish sleep.  

 

… 

 

This morning~

 

Well… um...Rhaast, it was...uh...nice meeting you...again,” Kayn responded, flashing the other man an awkward grin. Rhaast returned his smile with a small one of his own. 

There was an elephant in the room that Kayn desperately trying to ignore, but he also wanted to know. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out “So Rhaast...did we like...you know….yesterday? Because I can’t remember a single thing.”

Rhaast raised an eyebrow at him, giving Kayn the look his professors would when he asked dumb questions in class. 

“Wow...um...okay,” Kayn said, flushing a deeper shade of red. First Zed, and now him?  This makes it the second time he was blackout drunk and slept with a guy. “So I guess I’ll see you around?”

Rhaast nodded silently, giving him one last look before making his way out of the room. 

Kayn let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and sunk back onto the mattress. He kicked himself for acting so awkward. He wasn’t normally like this after one-night stands, but then again, he didn’t normally sleep with guys either. Last night was still a blur to him, but he did remember coming to the party at least. 

After Zed was abruptly pulled into his room, he wandered around for a bit before running into Syndra. After their initial encounter in Zed’s dorm, they’ve become fast friends. She, like Zed, refused to come with him, which was a surprise. “I can’t stand that bubbly bitch” was her reasoning. After that, he gave up on inviting and just went himself.

The last memory he had was of him downing a beer at the fancy bar by the pool. 

Kayn sighed. Maybe he should get a grip and stop testing his limits. They seemed to be putting him in unwanted predicaments. 

Not that he minded having one night stands. Sleeping with guys, however, is a territory he has never ventured in. Well, at least not while he was sober. 

He pulled out his phone, thankful it managed to stay in his pocket. The time read 7:03 AM. 

Wow, it’s early.

But he did have class in an hour and thanked Rhaast for being nice enough to wake him up. If it were him, he never would have bothered. 

He got off the bed to attempt to find the rest of his clothing, but the floor was spotless. 

Then something shiny caught his eye. It was a piece of jewelry laying on the ground by the door. He walked over to pick it up. It was a necklace with a small ruby orb as the jewel. Inside, there was a small black slit. It looked like a cat’s eye, but instead of the usual green and yellow. 

Rhaast probably dropped it by mistake. 

The other man didn’t leave his number or other contact info, but they went to the same school. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find him. He pocketed the necklace and on his way out, he stopped to look himself in the mirror. 

His black waist-length hair was tangled in obnoxious knots. In addition to the hickeys on his chest, there were a couple of bit marks on his neck and shoulders. 

He traced them, feeling a bit embarrassed. His previous partners weren’t really into giving bruises, so he’d usually only end up with a couple of light ones. These didn’t look like they’d be disappearing anytime soon. 

His gaze then met his reflection and he paled.

The birthmark that covered his right eye glared back at him. 

That means Rhaast must have seen it. 

He muttered a curse and slammed his hand on the mirror. He’d been so careful about keeping it hidden, with the meticulous layers of foundation and concealer he applied before coming here. 

But apparently, it was all for naught because his drunk, horny ass couldn’t keep his hands to himself. 

He can’t erase the mistakes of last night, but he could make sure no one else saw him like this. Actually, he hoped no one saw him at all, as he did his best to drape his locks over his eye and made his way out of the bedroom. 

 

Chapter 2

Notes:

Online school can suck my dick the way Rhaast did to Kayn, then choke on the cum

:D

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The campus was quiet, as most classes started at 9. Kayn was thankful for the lack of students roaming around. Walking around without a shirt was embarrassing enough, but he didn’t want to risk anyone seeing his face. 

His dorm was a good 15-minute walk from the Crownguard’s place, but he made it a 5-minute sprint. 

There were a couple of people hitting the morning showers, but they were too groggy to pay him any mind. Approaching his door, Kayn prayed his roommate was still asleep. Or at his girlfriend’s. His roommate knew about the mark (it was unavoidable considering they lived together), but it never bothered him the way it bothered other Ionians. Though at the moment, Kayn didn’t want him to see the embarrassing number of hickeys on his chest.

Yasuo’s teasing was not something he could deal with this early.

His heart pounding, he reached for the door, but the doorknob twisted and it was yanked open from the inside.

Shit.

He heard a yelp come from the white-haired girl, who leaped back in surprise. 

“Oh, it’s just you,” the girl muttered and stepped into the light of the hallway. Riven, his roommate’s girlfriend, stood in front of him with her short, disheveled hair, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and some flip flops. 

“Good morning to you too, Riven,” he replied curtly. It was unusual seeing her so relaxed. She was always on edge whenever he was around, and it made him feel a bit uncomfortable. Not that she was unfriendly or rude, which was surprising for a Noxian. But the woman carried a weight on her shoulders, and from what he’s heard from his roommate’s drunken rambles, she’s had a pretty hard life. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I stayed over,” she said, moving her body to the side to allow Kayn to come in. “Yas said you wouldn’t be back for the night.”

Kayn smirked. “Seems he was right.” If Riven noticed the marks on his chest, she didn’t comment on it. This was probably the longest conversation they shared in these last 3 years. He stepped into the dark room and opened the blinds, allowing the sun’s rays to shine in. It didn’t faze his roommate, who was snoring loudly in his bed.

“I’m going to go,” Riven called from the doorway. “Tell him to text me when he wakes up.” Without hearing Kayn’s reply, she grabbed her clothes off the floor and left, closing the door behind her. 

Kayn starred at the door for a moment, then opened his dresser to grab some clean clothes to head to the showers. Normally, if he had to shower in the morning, he’d go early so he didn’t have to run into anyone. 

But the events of last night had messed with his usual routine, so he’d just have to be extra careful. 

 

 

Kayn showered in record time. Aside from the bruises, he was strangely clean. Usually, his body would be sticky with alcohol or some other drink, but this time, only his pants bore the faint smell of alcohol...and something else he didn’t want to think about. 

He slipped back into his room unseen. 

Yasuo was still fast asleep. Kayn decided he’d wake him up before he left. He dried his hair for a bit before heading back to his dresser. 

He stared at himself in the mirror for the second time that morning. Dressed in a pair of comfortable black sweats and a crew neck red sweater that had “Runeterra” scrawled across the front, it was the perfect hangover outfit. 

With the exception of the cursed birthmark that ran across his right eye, mocking him with its existence.  

Kayn scowled. This mark has brought him nothing but bad luck and a mismatched pair of eyes. He’s lucky his reckless actions didn’t make his blue contact fall out last night. He grabbed a couple of clips lying on his dresser and pulled his damp bangs back, fastening them in place. Grabbing a small blue pouch, he opened it and dumped its contents across the wooden counter. 

He thought by now, concealing his mark would be a thing of the past. That he wouldn’t have to hide it when he got to college. The students probably wouldn’t care what he looked like if he was really being honest. In his 3 years here, he’s seen some very bizarre looking people. 

And this made him realize he just wanted to look normal for once, without being whispered about wherever he went. 

Picking up a half-empty bottle of concealer, he twisted the cap off, grabbed his brush, and got to work. 

 

 

Satisfied with his look, Kayn slipped his tools back into the bag and put it away. He grabbed his school bag, that was tossed on the ground, and stuffed it with his laptop along with whatever notes he needed for his morning class. Rummaging around his messy desk, he cursed himself for not being more organized. It didn’t help that Yasuo was ten times worse than him, with dirty laundry and his own coursework littered all about the place.

Speaking of the slob, Kayn walked over to Yasuo’s side of the room and yanked apart the shades that overlooked his bed. He heard Yasuo groan and pull his blanket over his head. 

“Get up, you lazy ass,” He said, yanking the blanket off the grumbling man and tossing it on the ground.

“Mmmmm!!….Jeez Kayn….you’re so cruel,” the other man muttered, turning over to glare at his roommate. 

“You’re lucky I woke you up before I left.”. Kayn swung his bag over his shoulder and made his way to the door. Before leaving, he added, “Riven said to text her when you got up.”

The grogginess was instantly wiped off Yasuo’s face and he scrambled out of bed to look for his phone. 

Kayn watched his roommate desperately search for his phone in the piles of clothes that cluttered their room and laughed. Yasuo may be a drunken slob, but the love he had for Riven was admirable. He opened the door and walked into the hallway. 

As he walked to class, Kayn felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Taking it out, he saw a text from Syndra, who asked (more like demanded because Syndra seldomly asked for anything) to meet her for lunch in the cafe. He sent her a quick ok , then debated whether to text Zed or not. 

Why bother? I’ll see him in class anyway. 

Kayn slipped his phone back into his pocket and picked up his pace. 

 

 

At 8:30, it was still far too early for anyone, including the professor to be in class. As much as he enjoyed loud parties and the bustling chatter of other students, Kayn appreciated quiet whenever he found it. Being the first one in here (when he wasn’t oversleeping) was his peace. He made his way to his usual spot in the back of the class and settled himself in. 

A couple of minutes later, he saw Zed stroll in with a scowl on his face. 

Typical. 

As much as Zed would deny being friends with him, he sat with him in every class they shared. 

Or maybe he didn’t have anyone else to sit with and was embarrassed about it. 

Kayn chuckled to himself as his friend made his way towards him and sat down with a sigh. Then winced as his face grimaced in pain. 

“Morning grumpy,” Kayn greeted cheerfully. 

“Mmm.” 

Kayn watched as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, muttering curses under his breath. 

“Yo what’s up with you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Just sore,” Zed replied, shifting again. 

“From what? The workout we did on Saturday?”

Zed flinched.“You could say that.”

Kayn tried to recollect what they did on Saturday. The events of these last few days seemed to blur together, but he didn’t recall doing anything too strenuous. Just a bit of weight lifting and a couple rounds of basketball…

Wait…

“Speaking of Saturday, are you gonna explain why I was left outside your room? Or why the atmosphere got so awkward with you and….what’s his name…Shen?” 

Zed coughed.“Sorry….about that.”

“Sir, I would like an explanation of your behavior. Your apology is not accepted until then.”

“I could not care less whether you forgive me or not.”

“ZED!”

Zed groaned and muttered a curse under his breath. “How was the party?” He asked.

“It was fine—.” Kayn stopped himself. What was this sudden change in topic? The other man never showed interest in the parties he went to in the past, so why was he curious now. “Why are you trying like I wouldn’t notice??!!” He shouted, lips widening in a smirk. “IS THERE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT ME TO KNOW!!?”

“Will you shut up?!” The other man hissed, giving Kayn his signature glare. Only this time, there was a tinge of red dusting his friend’s cheeks, a dead giveaway to Zed’s embarrassment. 

“Holy shit,” Kayn started, his excitement growing bigger as Zed’s composure slipped, “Y’all were fucking!!!”

Zed opened his mouth to deny, but Kayn didn’t give him the chance. 

“It makes so much sense now, why he got all possessive and shi—MMPH!”

Zed forcibly shoved his hand over Kayn’s mouth, effectively shutting him up. “Continue talking so damn loud and I will rip your tongue out,” he warned with a low growl.

Confused, Kayn turned his gaze to the rest of the room and saw that students were starting to trickle in. 

HA! The poor guy was embarrassed. 

Pushing Zed’s hand off, he couldn’t help but laugh in spite of Zed’s attempt at his usual menacing gaze. His friend tried to cough it off, but he could see even the tips of his ears were bright red. It was strange seeing Zed so embarrassed, especially about his love life. Whenever Kayn brought up the topic previously, he would never show much interest in the people he’s slept with, for less blushing like a teenager. “You must really like this guy,” he mused. 

“We’re not talking about this.”

“Bro come on. This is the first time I’ve seen you act like this, so I want to hear about the guy who’s making my buddy blush like a teenager.”

Zed sighed. He looked like he wanted to argue but one look at Kayn’s pleading face made him realize he would probably annoy him about it for the rest of day. “We have history.”

Kayn cocked an eyebrow. Zed was rather guarded about his past before Syndra. But even that was only brought up by Syndra when she reminisced about the mischief they used to get into. It seemed like a touchy subject, something he could relate to, as his own past wasn’t something he remembered fondly.

“What, like an ex or something?”

“No...We never...I’ve never been in a relationship,” he admitted, his gaze, staring anxiously at the front of the room. 

Another side of Zed he never thought he would see: fear. The other man was also so calm and collected, with the occasional angry outburst. Nothing seemed to ever faze him, not the stressful workload or the difficult exams. He faced everything head-on, without the slightest bit of hesitation. This anxious Zed was a stranger to him, and this stranger was making him feel a bit worried. 

“Hey, you guys are together now right? You can share your insecurities with one another and it’ll be okay.”

“We’re not exactly….dating,” Zed muttered slowly, as if the realization just dawned on him.  

“Um….you gotta elaborate my guy,”

Zed frowned. “I still don’t know why we’re still on this topic.”

“Cause I’m curious and class hasn’t started yet. Plus Syndra’s not here, so I’m your best bet for love issues at the moment.”

Zed sighed. “Another pain in the neck to deal with,” he muttered. “Please don’t tell her any of this.”

Kayn pinched his fingers together to seal lips, the gesture satisfying Zed before he continued. 

“We never really defined our relationship. At least not yet. We’re kind of just….um... fucking at the moment...” 

“Can I laugh?”

Zed glared at him.

Kayn suppressed a chuckle. Zed’s dilemma sounded pretty serious, but also something out of a YA romance novel. He never realized relationships could be this complicated. But then again, he didn’t know the first thing about them; all his previous ones were too short-lived to leave a lasting impression on him.     

“I’m pretty sure you’ve been told this, but you’re not an easy person to talk to. Getting close to you is like hugging a cactus. Heck, I’m surprised you let me hang around you this long. Shen, on the other hand, I’m guessing knows you better than I do. He’s probably waiting for the right moment to bring it up.”

Zed stared at him with an unreadable expression. “You’re oddly insightful when you want to be.”

Kayn flashed him a grin before saying “I have my moments.”

By now, the chatter of the other students had filled the room as they all waited for their professor to arrive. 

There was a comfortable silence between them before Zed asked “Do you really not know?”

Confusion crossed Kayn’s face as he said “Know what?”

“The reason I let you hang around.”

Kayn’s eyes widened in surprise. It was a question he pondered from time to time, but he never really dwelled on it for long. To think Zed had an actual reason all this time. He opened his mouth to ask for the reason, but he was interrupted by the sound of the professor’s voice. 

“GOOD MORNING CLASS!”

Professor Heimerdinger was a very tiny man with a very big passion for science. He always wanted everyone to hear his crazy ideas, which is why he used a microphone wherever he went. As usual, his hair was unkempt with his signature blue goggles resting on his head. Eccentrics aside, he was a very sweet old man, who was beloved by his students.

The professor strolled to the front of the room, announcing today’s agenda and reminding them their lab reports were due in a week, and he would give no more extensions (he always says that, but this same lab report was supposed to be due last week. The entire class begged him for an extension and the old man caved). 

Kayn attempted to continue the conversation, but Zed already tuned into the lecture, paying no mind to Kayn's words. Kayn muttered a curse and fetched his notebook out of his bag, tearing off a small section of paper.  

Scribbling “This conversation is not over!!!”, he tossed the slip at Zed, who opened it and smirked. Then ignored him for the rest of class. 

 

 

“You’re a real dick you know,” Kayn said angrily, tearing off his lab coat and tossing it at Zed. 

The other man ignored him and stepped aside, letting the lab coat fall on the ground. He took off his own coat and folded it neatly, then placed it in the drawer adjacent to the workstation.

Kayn tsked and walked over to pick it up. He crumbled it up and shoved it into the same drawer and violently shoved it closed. In addition to class, Zed had ignored him in the lab as well, only answering task-related questions. 

Heimerdinger’s seminars usually lasted only an hour, but today, he was fixated on a question a student asked about artificial intelligence. It ran for another hour, which left only an hour, instead of the usual two, for the lab.

This was not good for him because he was severely behind on the project. He knew all those nights of partying would start to catch up with him, but he didn’t realize it would be this bad. He wanted to go back in time and strangle his stupid ass for going to all those late-night parties and games. Now, he was left with not even half of the code written and a very long report to write up, all due next week.

This is your senior year dumbass! You can’t afford to mess up!

“Fuck I’m so screwed!” He cried, shaking his head. 

“It’s your own fault,” Zed said, chuckling. He slipped his laptop into his bag, then watched Kayn scramble with his notes, and sighed. 

Hearing his friend sigh, an idea came to his head. “Can you—”

“No.”

Kayn didn’t let Zed’s rejection deter him. “ZED PLEASE!! I KNOW I’M A DUMBASS AND I’M ALWAYS ANNOYING YOU BUT IF YOU DO ME THIS FAVOR, I WILL FOREVER BE IN YOUR DEBT! I’LL DO ANYTHING!!” Without hesitation, Kayn dropped to his knees and bowed.

He heard gasps from his classmates and was sure Zed was moments away from freaking out. Bowing, in Ionia, was used to show the utmost respect for another person, and in some cases, beg or apologize in shame. 

Kayn didn’t see himself as a prideful person, but begging was beneath him. Yet at this moment, he didn’t know what else he could do to dig himself out of the grave he dug.

He heard Zed sigh, unable to handle the weight of their classmates’ curious glances, especially the Ionian ones who understood the significance of the action and were probably staring at him, waiting in anticipation for his next move. 

“Kayn, get up….please. You’re embarrassing me.” Kayn felt him kneel down and gently shake his shoulder, but he whined in protest and wouldn’t budge. 

Feeling more uncomfortable with each passing second, Zed gave in. “Fine I’ll help—”

Kayn didn’t wait for Zed to finish and yanked his friend into an embrace, burying his face into Zed’s shoulder.“Iloveyousomuchthankyou!” 

Right now, Kayn didn’t know whether to cry tears of relief or frustration. He had to pull himself together, first with the partying and now this. He reflexively hugged Zed a little tighter, strengthening his resolve. 

The amused crowd was dispersing thankfully, until they were the only ones left in the lab. Sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time of the morning, Zed rubbed Kayn’s back and muttered “Come on. Clean up your workspace and grab your stuff. Syndra’s waiting for us.”

 

 

“Sorry about that,” Kayn whispered, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. 

They had left the lab and were making their way to the cafeteria. The last 5 minutes were just silent walking; the chatter of the campus filling the air between them. 

“Don’t mention it,” Zed replied. “Ever,” he added. 

Kayn laughed and shoved his shoulder. As cold as Zed seemed, he too, had moments where he showed a bit of affection. Before he could come up with a snarky retort, he heard Syndra call their names. 

 

Notes:

Kayn and I are the same: dumbasses who procrastinate.

Chapter 3

Notes:

Me updating 2 days in a row? What??!! Low-key proud of myself but I know this won't become a habit sadly.

:')

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Stepping into the cafeteria, Zed led them towards their usual spot by the windows. 

Eating with other people was something new for Kayn. Until last week, he would usually eat alone. Despite how much he always teased Zed for not having friends, at least the guy had Syndra.

He, on the other hand, had bounced from various friend groups over the semesters, until he met Zed in his second year. He didn’t know what exactly it was about Zed that made him cling to him so furiously, especially since they didn’t exactly grow that close over the years. The other man just started ignoring him less after they went to a party together. 

Wait…

“...ayn”.

A party? Was it that party!?

“Kayn!”

Startled, Kayn shook his thoughts out of his head and drew his gaze to a puzzled Syndra. They had sat down at the table, and he didn’t even notice. “Yeah, what’s up?”

She made a face and repeated her question. “I asked what sandwich you wanted, the cucumber salad or the bologna?”

Kayn mirrored her expression.“I told you already you don’t have to buy me lunch. I’m fully capable of buying my own.” He was poor, but between the scholarship and his job at the bakery, he had enough to afford the university’s food. 

“Stop whining,” she replied, grabbing one of the sandwiches from her bag, “This stuff’s like pocket change to me,” and tossed it to him.  

Kayn caught it and opened his mouth to protest once more, but Zed interrupted him and said “Don’t bother trying to convince her. She won’t listen either way, so save your breath,” then took a bite of his own Syndra-bought sandwich.

Kayn sighed as his argument died down. He unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite; the salty taste of bologna and cheese-filled his mouth. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was thankful that Syndra thoughtful enough to think of him. They’ve only known each other for a little over a week, but she’s already shown him so much kindness, something he wasn’t too accustomed to, especially from another Ionian. 

All that panicking earlier must have made him hungry because once he took a bite, he couldn’t stop, finishing the sandwich in record time. 

“Someone’s hungry,” Syndra commented, pleased that Kayn no longer tried to resist the food. She took a bite of her cucumber sandwich, humming with satisfaction at the taste. 

“Stress makes people hungry,” Kayn replied with a deep sigh. Even though Zed had agreed to help him, he was still nowhere near done. It wasn’t a complicated assignment, but it consumed a great deal of time and effort; both of which were not abundant at the moment. “Zed,” he said, drawing the other man’s attention, “You better not go back on your promise.”

His friend glared at him, continuing to eat without responding. 

Syndra flashed Kayn a curious look, so he filled her in. She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Zed actually agreed to help you? I find that to be extremely incredulous.”

Zed threw her the same glare. “I can be benevolent once in a while. Besides, he was literally on the ground begging so loudly. I swear he was about to cry.”

Syndra chuckled as Kayn’s face heated in embarrassment. Before he could defend himself, Zed added “He even went as far as to bow.”

Syndra lost it right then, her body shaking with uncontrollable laughter. The passing students and even Kayn himself stared at with bewilderment. He’d never seen her laugh so hard before, considering he didn’t even find this to be that amusing. 

But then again, he was the one getting laughed at, so his opinion didn’t count. 

“HAHA—…*gasp*...YOu...actually…*pfff*...I can’t!!!!,” she wheezed, unable to choke out her sentence.

Kayn raised an eyebrow at Zed. 

He chuckled and explained, “She finds it hilarious when people bow to beg for things. It reminds her of the time when her relatives came to beg for her inheritance.”

Still, laughing, Syndra added, “How pathetic those fools looked, on their knees, pleading for me to give them something that could have been theirs.” There was an edge to her tone, and her laughter had died down a bit. A smile was still plastered on her lips, but it had gone from playful howls to a dangerous sneer.

Curious, since Syndra had never mentioned her family before, Kayn opened his mouth to ask about them. But instead, he felt a sharp kick from underneath the table and turned to glare at the perpetrator. “What gives?!!” He hissed, rubbing his sore calf. 

“Don’t,” Zed muttered.

It must be a touchy subject. 

He was always interested in learning other people’s history because he didn’t know his own. But he wasn’t about to be insensitive and ruin this budding friendship by asking unwanted questions. Plus, Zed would kick his ass, which was something he wanted to avoid in this life. 

“Well,” she began, drawing their attention back to her, “That’s what they get for being human scum. So, in addition to you being your usual foolish self, how was your day?”

“Besides me regretting my life’s choices, nothing much. You?”

As if she couldn’t keep it in any longer, she blurted out “I ran into the Crownguard blondie earlier, who had the audacity to ask why I didn’t come to her party. That girl must have a lot of nerve, asking me a ridiculous question like that, especially when I make it clear I can’t stand her presence.” She paused to glower at the memory, and a moment later, a question crossed her mind. “Speaking of the party, how was it?”

The party. 

The party where I got drunk off my ass and slept with some dude named Rhaast. 

It was just great.

Wait. 

Rhaast.

Rhaast’s necklace. 

“Um...it was okay,” he answered, feeling his face heat up a bit at the memory of this morning. Quickly changing the subject, it was a long shot, but he asked, “On a side note, do you happen to know a guy named Rhaast?”

“Rhaast?”

“Yeah. Tan, red hair....pretty attractive. Not sure where he’s from, but I think he has a slight accent when he talks.”

A look of recognition crossed Syndra’s face. “Oh him? He’s my professor’s brother. Quiet guy, doesn’t really talk much. Probably be more popular if he did. To be honest, I don’t know him that well.”

“Maybe that would change if you actually went to class,” Zed quipped. 

Syndra laughed. “I was planning on going today since I do have a presentation to give. What’s your business with him?”

Pulling the necklace out of his pocket, Kayn admired it and showed it to his friends. “I think he dropped this yesterday, so I want to return it if it turns out to be his.”

“Such a good samaritan,” Syndra cooed, snatching the necklace from his grasp. “To think he was the partying type. I never would have guessed.”

“What gave you the idea it could be his?”

Kayn turned his attention to Zed, who was looking at him strangely. His brow was furrowed, like was trying to solve a problem, but there was a small smirk tugging at his lips. 

He doesn’t know right?  

Unconsciously, Kayn reached up and tugged his collar a little higher, Zed raising an eyebrow at the gesture. 

No of course not. How would he?

“I...um... just picked it off the floor on my way out…” It wasn’t a lie, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was being interrogated as his worry crept into his voice. It’s not like he was embarrassed he slept with Rhaast, but he knew he would be teased endlessly about it, which would lead to some deep questions about his preference in partners.

“Hmm…”. A cheeky smile slowly stretched across Zed’s face.

It was the most unnerving thing Kayn has seen in a minute. 

“So did you get those hickeys before or after you picked it up?” 

Oh no. 

Kayn you fucked up. 

Zed you son of a bitch.

“Is there something you’d like to tell us Kayn?” Syndra teased, her grin growing wider by the minute. 

“No!....T-there’s nothing!” He started, casting his gaze to the table, his cheeks regaining the heat they lost before. Fuck! He wanted to avoid this, but it seems like he was too careless with his wording. “Fucking hell Zed!!!” he cried, trying his best to glare at his smirking friend. “Is this what I get for prying into your love life?”

“Oh? Is Zed having some trouble too?” Syndra cooed, her excitement painted clearly on her smiling face. “This day just got more interesting.”

“You promised not to tell!” Zed growled, his smirk disappearing from his face. In fact, he looked a little apologetic, but Kayn couldn’t let that blind him of his friend’s betrayal. “If you wanted no one to see, you should have worn a better cover!!”

“I did promise, but you could have done me a favor and kept your observations to yourself!!” He retorted angrily. “Since when do you pry into my business anyway?!”

Zed opened his mouth to counter, but Syndra cut him off. 

“Boys, let’s all be civil,” she ordered calmly. “I thought you both know better than to hide things from me,” she scolded, “Especially when you know I’ll find out eventually.” She smiled at the both of them, her purple irises meeting Kayn’s. “I’ll leave Zed alone for now—” a sigh of relief came from Zed, “—so, enlighten us.”

Kayn sighed. He already dug himself too deep of a hole, so he might as well lie in it. “So...um....I was blackout drunk yesterday and don’t really remember much besides drinking a lot….and I woke up this morning and he was there…he woke me up actually and…uh....tossed me my pants….and I saw the hickeys….and…so…. yeah?” He could feel his entire face aflame as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. The thing with Rhaast wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. He was going to give the necklace back and just forget about it. 

But it seems like the rest of the world wouldn’t allow him that luxury. 

Syndra surprisingly wasn’t laughing at him, but her eyes were hungry for more interesting details. “How’s your ass?”

Embarrassed by her bluntness, he couldn’t help but be taken aback. “My what ?!!”

“Your ass,” She turned to Zed and added, “Isn’t your ass and your hips supposed to hurt the next morning?”

Zed groaned and covered his eyes, his ears burning a bright upon hearing his friend’s shameless questions. “Can we please not discuss this in public?”

“You can say that, but don’t assume I didn’t notice the careful steps you’ve been taking. And the slight hoarseness in your voice.”

Now Zed was also blushing slightly, growling “Sometimes I actually hate you” under his breath. 

As embarrassed as he was, Kayn couldn’t help but be amazed. He’d been with Zed the entire morning, but he only noticed the obvious one. All this time, he wondered how Syndra managed to skip so much class, yet still be the top student. With a small insight into one of her many talents, he now understood the reason. 

“Back to my point, if your ass doesn’t hurt, then you guys probably only made out or gave handjobs. I want to hear the details, my dear.”

But Kayn didn’t hear her. 

We only hooked up. 

WE ONLY HOOKED UP?!

It must have been one intense makeout session, considering his neck and check both looked like they’ve been mauled by a dog. He let out a shaky breathe of relief, realizing that he didn’t make another mistake. But there was something else he felt, weighing down his relief. It felt like disappointment, but that couldn’t be right. 

Rhaast was probably a great guy, but that just wasn’t his thing. But still, they made out and he had seen his mark. Yet, in the morning, he didn’t look at Kayn with disgust or fear.

What did that mean? Why did it make him feel so strange?

Syndra turned to Zed and asked, “Is this what people call ‘gay panic’?”

“Probably.”

“Hey hey hey!” Kayn shouted, shaking out his thoughts, “No one’s ‘gay panicking’ about anything! I just want to return the damn necklace and get on with my life!” He snatched the necklace from Syndra’s hand and stuffed it back into his pocket. “And no offense to gays, but I’m not interested in guys.”

“Didn’t you sleep with Zed though?”

Kayn’s jaw dropped in shock. “How the fuck…?!” He turned to Zed, who had regret written all over his expression. “Arrrgh!” He groaned, burying his face into his hands. That’s enough. There was only so much embarrassment he could take in one day. 

He heard Syndra laugh, and a deep sigh from Zed. A hand reached over and gently ruffled his hair. “I’m sorry my dear,” Syndra giggled, but her tone was apologetic. “Zed, apologize too,” she ordered. 

Zed grumbled in protest, but Syndra probably shot him one of her chilling glares that promised a very long lecture if he didn’t oblige. After a couple seconds of hesitation, he also muttered an apology, which seemed to satisfy her.

“Kayn, stop hiding your face. I promise WE won’t tease you anymore. And I’ll talk to Rhaast for you later if you want.”

Spreading his fingers apart, he peeked through and stared at Syndra’s face. “You promise?”

“I promise. And as an extra apology, Zed and I will proofread your lab report when you're done with it, in addition to whatever he’s supposed to help you with. RIGHT ZED?”

Zed looked like he wanted to protest, but he kept his mouth shut, either because he didn’t want to argue with a future lawyer or he felt guiltier than he looked. 

Probably the former. 

Kayn sighed. He didn’t realize he’d been acting so pitiable this entire morning. If he was being honest, it hurt his pride a bit. But everything that has been happening as of late weren’t things in his regular routine. Well, besides the procrastinating, but even that wasn’t a terrible habit until he got to his senior year. He wasn’t Zed-level studious, but the work he’d leave till last minute was, for the most part, pretty manageable.

He pulled his hands away from his face and muttered, “Today is not a good day.”

“Well I’m going to make it better. Any messages you want me to pass to Rhaast?”

Rhaast. Another thing, or person, not in his regular routine. 

He pondered it for a moment, wondering if he should give Syndra the necklace to give to him. But there was a chance the necklace wasn’t his, which would be a whole other issue to deal with. As mildly irritated as he was with Syndra, she was doing him a favor, and he wouldn’t want to leave her the task of dealing with a problem he brought upon himself. He decided to play it safe and say, “Just tell him ‘Kayn, the guy you made out with at the party, found your necklace’, and if he wants it back, ask him for a place and time. Oh, and give him my number.”

“Ooo, bold I see~,” Syndra mused.

“You know it’s not like that.”

“Sure sure~.” An alarm rang from inside her bag. She took out her phone to check the time. “Well, I should get going. Class starts in 10 minutes and I need to refresh my mind with the case I’m presenting.” Quickly packing up her half-eaten sandwich, she gave Kayn a wink and stood up. Before she left, she bent down to whisper something in Zed’s ear, making them both grin. Waving them both a goodbye, she hurried out of the cafeteria. 

“What did she tell you?” Kayn asked, “Bet you five bucks it was about me.”

“If you knew, why bother asking me?”

“I didn’t before, but now I do. Tell me,” he demanded. 

“Nope.” Then followed up with, “Do you have any more classes in the afternoon?”

“No, but I do have a shift at the bakery. Why?”

“If you had time, we could have headed to the library or my dorm to work on the project. But since you’re busy, I’ll find something to do.”

Kayn was a little surprised. “I actually thought you weren’t going to honor that after all the shit I just put you through.”

“I’m a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them. But keep talking and I’ll make a special exception for your stupidass.”

Kayn flashed him a grin and watched while Zed finished the rest of his sandwich. He checked the time on his phone. It was 12:40, with work starting at 1. But the owner was lenient with him on his arrival time he, so as long as he got there before 1:15, he would be good. He wanted to enjoy the atmosphere in this corner of the lunchroom, with big windows that allowed the sun to shine in, for as long as he could. 

On second thought, maybe it was his cue to head out, as a certain someone approached their table.

“Yo, your boyfriend’s here.”

Zed flinched and turned his head to see Shen walking towards their table. He was still a good distance, so it gave Kayn enough time to clean up his trash and pack his things.

“Wait, you’re leaving now!?” Zed asked, his voice holding the faintest of a quiver. 

“Yeah?” Kayn raised his eyebrow, as the realization dawned on him. He laughed and said “Oh hell no. If you think I’m going to stay here and be the third wheel again, you got another thing coming.”

“Kayn—!”

“No can do, my guy,” he interrupted. Their roles were finally reversed, and he had to admit, hearing Zed beg him for something was music to his ears. But it wasn’t worth sitting in sexual tension for 10 minutes when he could be at work earning money. “You’ll be fine. You guys already fucked and whatever, there’s nothing to be shy about.”

“It’s not that! I just—!”

By now, Shen had reached their table.

Kayn didn’t get a good look at him the other day, but seeing him now, he understood why Zed had the hots for him. Shen was a bit taller than him (he and Zed were around the same height, with Zed always insisting he was taller), with short, dark brown hair pulled back in a low ponytail. His features were hard, but handsome, with piercing blue eyes that seemed to gaze into Kayn’s soul. 

It made him a bit….nervous. But that was probably he was intimidated by how attractive Shen was. Even if he wasn’t interested in guys, he could appreciate good looks when he saw them. 

Shen stared at him with an unreadable expression, then nodded his head in a greeting. “Kayn, right?”

“Yup. Nice seeing you again, but I really should get going.” He did his best to suppress the laugh when he saw the angry look on Zed’s face. Grabbing his bag off the floor, he turned to Zed and snickered. “See ya. If there’s time, we can meet up later.”

Zed scowled and flipped him the finger. 

Not wanting to stay there a second longer, he waved them both goodbye, chuckling to himself as he made his way out of the cafeteria. 




Notes:

Really don't know how Syndra does it. I'd be sitting in class and wondering how tf I'm passing when I don't understand shit.

Chapter 4

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rhaast sat in the classroom, wondering when his brother was going to arrive.

He had come home this morning, expecting a long lecture from Aatrox, but his brother was fast asleep on the couch. It was a rare sight to see his brother sleeping so peacefully. Rhaast was more accustomed to seeing him awake during the odd hours of the night, either grading papers or binging his not-so-secret dramas. The occasional moments he did sleep, it was fitful, with his expression pained and contorted.

And he almost always woke up with a scream.

Something good must have happened.

This was an unexpected victory for both of them, so Rhaast allowed himself a hot bath and cooked up a simple breakfast. Then he quickly slipped out the door and headed to the library until his class began. 

At the moment, he wondered whether his brother had overslept because it was strange for him to not arrive on time. Half of his classmates had already arrived, their anxious chatter filled the room with anticipation at the upcoming presentation.

Since this was the second to last assignment, the person who managed to score the highest would automatically pass the final exam and be granted a personal letter of recommendation from the Professor himself. 

It was quite obvious who was going to win since she only showed up to class for these assessments. If he was lucky, maybe he’d make the top ten, much to his brother’s disappointment. 

Rhaast sometimes wondered why he allowed his brother’s incessant hounding to annoy him into picking this major. He didn’t have too great of an interest in interpreting the law nor did he care about fighting for the rights of others. But unfortunately, his brother was insistent on upholding the family reputation, even though he, his brother, and Varus, were the last of the Darkins.

Rhaast sighed and turned his attention outside the window. The common grounds were crowded. It was a cloudy, but beautiful day and students littered themselves on the lawn, laughing and talking amongst themselves. His gaze scanned the bodies, wondering if he could catch a glimpse of the Noxian from last night. 

Kayn. 

The other man’s face had been lingering in his mind all morning, so much that he couldn’t concentrate on reviewing his case. There was this desire to run his hands through Kayn’s obsidian hair, kiss the precious mark, and force more seductive moans from those charming lips. 

He didn’t understand why he had this strange fixation. What made Kayn different from any of his past rendezvous’? For all he knew, Kayn could despicable, as most Noxians tend to be. But the thought only made his heart tighten with curiosity. It was the first time he took such a strong interest in another soul. But alas, the chances of meeting the man again were slim, considering the sheer number of students at this school. 

He cursed himself for leaving so hastily this morning. He should have asked Kayn for his contact information, but instead, he was too busy worrying about his brother’s reprimands, which turned out to be pointless. 

Rhaast sighed and looked away from the window. He tuned his attention back into the class and noticed the chatter had died down into muffled whispers. 

Had his brother arrived already? 

The podium at the front of the room was still empty. 

There was a loud *thump* next to him, as someone sat down beside him. Turning to see who still bothered to earn his favor today, his eyes widened in surprise to see the top student herself, smiling at him. 

“Mind if I sit?” She asked, dumping her notecards on the table. 

Why bother to ask if you’re already sitting?

“I do not mind,” he responded, noticing all the eyes in the classroom were trained on them. 

Someone stepped up to their row. Rhaast shifted his gaze to see who else was trying to disturb his peace. 

Kayle, the student second to Syndra, stood in front of them and glared. “So the absentee decided to finally show herself after so many weeks,” she scoffed, her eyes narrowed in disdain. “Prodigy or not, you bring shame to our noble department.”

Syndra continued to study her cards, giving no indication she heard Kayle’s words. 

Kayle’s face twitched in annoyance and she clenched her fist. “The only reason for your silence is because I’m right,” she boasted, her lips curling into a sneer. “Are you sitting beside the professor’s blood so you can beg him for a high score? How pathetic, but oddly fitting for you.”

Rhaast stifled a groan. Kayle was one of the most arrogant students in this class, always pontificating her pathetic opinions to those who dare oppose her. Her greatest flaw was her inflated ego, which Syndra crushed the moment she opened her mouth. 

“I wonder how it feels to be inferior to someone who doesn’t even bother to show up to class,” Syndra pondered, giving Kayle a cold smile, “Would you care to enlighten me?”

Rhaast suppressed a chuckle as he watched Kayle’s face flush with embarrassment. The class, however, didn’t share his sentiments, and openly snickered at her moment of humiliation. 

“Y-YOu!” the Demacian sputtered angrily, “How DARE you! Those of inferior birth should know their place!!”

Syndra sighed. She didn’t say anything after that and went back to studying her cards. The whispers and giggles from the class, however, did not die down. Kayle looked around the room and snarled, then stomped back to her seat. 

Though it was entertaining to see Kayle’s defeated face, he still wondered why the Ionian was sitting next to him. Kayle was right about those who tried to befriend him. It was always for the same three reasons: his wealth, his definite allure, and to gain his favor in hopes of getting his brother’s approval. When he wouldn’t give them what they wanted, they would eventually lose interest in him, which is probably the reason he didn’t have any friends. He’s been at this school for four years now, but there are still some fools who can’t seem to understand that Aatrox has nothing but contempt for sycophants. 

His brother even considers him a disappointment due to his lack of enthusiasm for this area of study. The countless times he’d been lectured on “familial duties” and “wasted potential” was enough to make him contemplate the idea of disappearing on a ship to Ionia to live out the rest of his life as a hermit in some cave. 

But he couldn’t do that because his poor brother would die of shock.

Shaking his rebellious fantasies out of his head, he observed the Ionian. He never really got a good glance at her, since she was practically an urban legend in his department. Syndra was quite the beauty, with a slender figure and captivating violet irises. He wondered if she, too, was here to gain his favor. Not that she would need it, considering she was undoubtedly within Aatrox’s good graces.

So if not that, what does she want with me?

He debated asking her, but right at that moment, his brother stormed in with his trademark furrow. 

“CLASS!” Aatorox boomed, chatter pausing instantly, “CEASE THE CHATTER! WE’RE GOING TO GET STARTED!!” Slamming his briefcase on his desk, he looked around the room, his gaze meeting Rhaast’s for a split second, then landing on Syndra’s face. “Syndra!” his voice lowering to his normal tone, “How nice of you to finally join us!”

Syndra shot him a smile and replied, “You probably would have failed me if I didn’t show up”. 

“Correct!” Aatrox paused and opened his briefcase. He took some papers out then announced, “When I call your name, come up to present!” He scanned the sheet in his hand, and before he read the first name he warned, “I shall say this now so you fools will not pester me later: If any of you even DARE TO VEX ME WITH YOUR COMPLAINTS ON YOUR GRADES, I WILL FAIL YOU IMMEDIATELY! DO YOU ALL UNDERSTAND?!!”

The class responded with a chorus of tired “yeses”. 

Rhaast and his classmates were used to his brother’s temper by now, so these conditions didn’t bother them. It was the task at hand that was most appalling. He wasn’t worried because he did a pretty decent job of preparing. His brother, however, wasn’t partial to him in any way, and would grade him just as harshly, or maybe even harsher than the other students.

“Then let’s get started!!” The professor called up the first uneasy student, who took one last look at his notes before walking to the front of the class. Since this was in alphabetical order, his turn would be early on. 

Rhaast grumbled. 

This was going to be a long class. 

 

 

Rhaast gave his presentation without much difficulty. He’s forgotten his script towards the end, but at that point, he was too exhausted to care and more worried about the earful he was going to get at home.

The list of presenters got shorter and shorter until the last one stood at the front of the room. 

All this time, Rhaast wondered whether the greatness of the top student was exaggerated. Considering he rarely got to see her use her abilities, it was hard to imagine his brother letting a student get away with ditching class. 

But today, he understood why she had yet to fail. 

Syndra’s charisma was impressive and she captured the attention of the entire room in a matter of seconds. Her passion for the topic was so clearly evident, it made Rhaast amused, wishing she could supply him with just a bit of it. Pair with perfect articulation on a rather difficult case, he already knew she easily scored full points on the rubric. 

Concluding her presentation, Syndra thanked the class as they clapped for her, with some cheers and whistles thrown in the mix. Even though Kayle had shown her open hostility, the rest of the class acknowledged her skill. She made her way back to her seat and sat down with a breath of relief.

The professor gathered his papers off his desk. He placed them in his briefcase and announced, “You’ll receive your grades next week along with the results of the contest! Class dismissed!” Thankfully, Aatrox had a lecture to give, so the berating was saved for later. 

Packing up his things, just as Rhaast stood up to leave, Syndra grabbed his sleeve. “Let’s chat for a bit,” she said. 

Rhaast cocked an eyebrow. 

He didn’t have class yet, so he obliged her request and sat back down. 

She waited for all the students to empty out before stating her business. “So,” she started, turning her head to look at him, “I heard about your rendezvous with Kayn.”

Kayn?

But of course! How could he forget?! Kayn and this woman were acquainted! Maybe this was his chance! “What about it? Is he sending his regards?” He tried his best to not sound too eager, but he couldn’t help but feel hopeful. 

Perhaps he wants to finish what we started the other night.

“In a way,” she mused, “He wanted me to ask if you were missing a necklace. He said he found one this morning.”

A necklace? What necklace?

He didn’t recall wearing a necklace yesterday, or ever really. The only jewelry he had on regularly was his piercings, but maybe the necklace was something he’d forgotten in his pocket. 

Before he could answer, Syndra scribbled something on a slip of paper and handed it to him. He took at and looked at the contents, noticing a string of numbers. 

“Kayn’s number,” she commented, “He asked me to give it in case you wanted to meet up with him to get your necklace back. But…” she paused, smirking at him, “You don’t seem too interested in your missing piece of jewelry.”

Perceptive. 

Rhaast didn’t say anything, but a small smile tugged at his lips. It was a pity the Ionian didn’t come to class often. He would enjoy seeing her drive Kayle mad during mock trials. 

“Well, you boys have fun.” She got up and just before she left, she turned to him and said, “He gets flustered easily, so be light on the teasing.”

She left Rhaast with a burning excitement. At the moment, he abhorred the fact he had one more class this afternoon, but luckily, he had free time afterward. He pulled his phone out, inputting the number Syndra gave him and sent a message. 

It’s been a while since he was this eager for the time to pass. 

 

 

Unknown Number: If you do not mind, could we meet at my residence? I have class until 3:30, so if you are comfortable and have the time, please arrive between 4:00 and 4:30.

Kayn stared at the message. It was obvious who the sender was, so that wasn’t the issue. But did he really want to go to this guy’s house? 

Rhaast had attached a screenshot below the message, along with the address. Apparently, he lived at the edge of campus, where the University and the town met. Travel distance wasn’t an issue either because the place wasn’t too far from his workplace. 

“Kayn!” His boss called from inside the kitchen.

“Coming!” He left the counter unattended, as there were no customers in at the moment. Before he stepped into the kitchen, he quickly pulled his hair into a ponytail, just in case he had to help out. His boss hated seeing his long hair all over the place. “What’s up boss?”

His boss, Pantheon, the owner of Pantheon’s Pastries, was putting his final batch of cakes into the fridge. It was only the two of them today since Morgana was sick and couldn’t come in. She was also a student at the university, but since she belonged to the culinary department, they never crossed paths until he started working here. It had been a little too quiet without her here. She was always making some sort of noise, from her angry growls when Kayn teased her (she was scary, but he enjoyed living life dangerously) to her shouts of joy when she came up with an idea for a new pastry.  

“Since Morgana is not here today, and I have some business to attend to later on, I’ll be closing early,” He said and made his way to the sink. Turning on the tap, he turned his head back to Kayn and added, “You can head home early too. Students always need some free time after all.”

This was an unexpected development, since Pantheon, while being pretty flexible, didn’t usually close shop early. 

This business must be pretty important. 

“Thanks, boss! Do you need me to mop the floor before I go?”

“No no, I can do it. But count the register before you leave okay?”

“Sure thing.”

He left the kitchen and made his way back to the front. Flipping the “OPEN” sign to “CLOSED”, he then opened the register to count the amount of money. He finished the task quickly, then went around back to the tiny staff room to pick up his bag. Before he left, he shouted a goodbye to his boss and made his way out. 

Usually, his shift would end around 7:00, but right now it was barely 3:00. He pulled out his phone and stared at the message again, wondering what to do. He could be a good student and use this extremely needed time to work on his pressing project. But then he would just be pushing the necklace issue to some other day, and who knows when he’ll get another chance like this.

Gotta deal with the small problems first. 

He reluctantly sent an “ okay ” back, and pulled the map open again. Copying the address into his navigation app, he started walking.

I’ll just go there, give the necklace, and leave. 

 

 

Kayn marveled at the house.

Actually, it was more of a manor and it was enormous. With a neatly kept front yard and a small fountain in front of the door, it could rival the Crowngaurd’s place. 

He pulled out his phone to check the time. Rhaast said he would be in class until 3:30, which was the current time. It was still too early for him to be home, so Kayn stood awkwardly outside the door for a few minutes, debating whether he should leave and come back. 

He opened his social media app and scrolled a bit. It seems like there was going to be a party at the Du Couteau’s tonight. He scanned the list of names to see who was going and wondered how these people had the energy for this. He was a pretty avid party going himself, but two nights in a row was a little too much for him.  

He scrolled a bit more when all of a sudden, a drop of water landed on his cracked screen. Without thinking much of it, he wiped it away and continued scrolling.

Then another drop fell. 

Kayn frowned and looked up at the sky. 

Shit.

He didn’t realize how dark the clouds had gotten on his way over. More raindrops fell, splashing onto his face. It wasn’t pouring yet, but he had his paper plus his ancient laptop sitting in his bag. It was a chance he couldn’t afford to take. 

Thankfully, the front doors provided a bit of shelter, but only enough to shield his bag. He could feel his getting damp as the rain got heavier and sighed. If he got sick tomorrow, he should kiss this project goodbye. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have come after all. 

Just then, the door the manor creaked opened, and he stumbled backward in surprise. A young man around his age poked his head out. “I was wondering who was lurking around the entrance, but it’s just another student,” he muttered with an irritated look. “If you’re looking for the Professor, he’s not in right now, so go away.” He started to shut the door. 

“Wait!” Kayn cried, place a hand on the door, “I’m here to see Rhaast!”

The man paused, his irritated look morphing into one of curiosity. “Rhaast? Why would anyone wish to seek him out?” The man observed Kayn for a second, lost in thought. Wait,” An all-too-familiar smirk painted itself on the man’s lips. “Unless….”

Kayn cringed. He’d seen that smile on Syndra’s face too often to not be wary of it. Before he could do anything, the man grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house, shutting the door behind them. 

 

 

Notes:

Sorry guys, I've been drowning in school assignments. But this month SHOULD be lighter so I'll try to update faster.

Yes I know, I promise to get to the Rhaast and Kayn moments next chapter so don't kill me pls :') . Maybe I should have tagged this as semi-slow burn or something cause even I'm dying to get started with the spicy shit.

Chapter 5

Notes:

I dead had this chapter sitting in my docs unedited for 3 days. My bad

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kayn admired the rich interior, with all the antique wallpaper and furniture. The front door had opened to some very majestic stairs. He felt a little uncomfortable tracking his wet shoes onto the polished wood floors and then sitting his damp self on the expensive-looking couch. 

The man who brought him inside had said something about getting him coffee and told him to wait in the living area. 

Clutching his bag, Kayn wondered for the second time if he should have gone home. But now, it was a little too late and he was sitting in a stranger’s house soaking wet. 

“Sorry for the wait!” The man hurried his way back into the living room and handed Kayn a steaming mug of coffee. “Here’s my apology for leaving you out in the rain.” He promptly sat beside Kayn and grinned. 

“Don’t be. It’s my fault for getting here so early.” He accepted the cup and nodded in thanks. The coffee smelled strangely familiar. He took a sip and realized it was the brand his boss sold at the bakery. He didn’t realize it was that popular, considering Pantheon sucked at making anything besides pastries. 

As he drank, the man peered at him with interest. “Forgive me for asking, but what business you have with Rhaast?”

Kayn paused his sipping. “I’m just here to return something to him.”

“Is that so,” the man hummed. “Where did you two meet? I apologize for prying, but this is the first time that child invited someone over, so I’m rather perplexed about what makes you so special.”

Child?

Kayn stared at the man, who had yet to give his name. He assumed they were around the same age since he looked pretty young, but he referred to Rhaast as “child”, which was a little unexpected. The man had long silver hair, tied back into a neat ponytail, paired with a very handsome face and mischievous eyes. 

Kayn hadn’t given much thought to why this man opened the door for him. He didn’t seem a family butler, but he didn’t look much like Rhaast either. They spoke with similar accents, but the man speaking to him now had a stronger one. “I don’t think I’m anyone special,” Kayn replied. This man didn’t need to know the details behind his relationship, or if he was being honest, his nonexistent relationship with Rhaast. “We just met at a party the other day, and he left something behind.”

“A party?” The man questioned, “At the Crownguard’s?”

Kayn was surprised. He didn’t expect to meet another party-goer here. “Yeah, that one! Were you there too?”

“I was, but….”, the man replied, his smirk stretching even wider, “It was you....”, he inched a little closer to Kayn, slowly closing the gap between them. “I didn’t get a good look at you the other night, but I see why he chose you. Your face is quite pretty.”

“Uh….thanks...I guess?” Did guys normally call other guys pretty? Maybe it was a cultural thing? He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something weird about how the man was staring at him. He felt a tingle at the base of his spine as the atmosphere shifted. It felt odd…like he was minutes away from being devoured. 

It’s probably just my imagination?

The man leaned even closer, raking his eyes down Kayn’s body. He and reached out to  grasped a pinch of hair and murmured, “It’s so soft.” 

Instinctively, Kayn moved back a little. He felt a bit uneasy, but the compliment did not go over his head and muttered another awkward “thanks”. He took pride in his hair and did appreciate it when someone noticed.

“Aw~,” the man purred, “You’re so cute.” He moved closer to Kayn once more until Kayn’s back hit the edge of the couch. He brought his face closer to Kayn and whispered, “I just want to have a small taste—!”

A loud SLAM along with hurried footsteps echoed from the entrance. A few moments later, Rhaast, panting heavily, rushed into the living room, his body soaking wet. A scowled was painted on his lips as he made his way towards the couch, disregarding the wet trail he left on the floor. “Varus,” he growled, “Get away from him.”

Laughing, Varus moved away from the very confused Kayn and slipped off the couch. “No need to get so angry, cousin. I was merely entertaining your guest.” He walked over to Rhaast and whispered something in his ear, earning a glare from the other man’s face. “What? We both know it’s true!” He turned to Kayn and gave him a wink, then made his way to the stairwell. “Hurry up and get changed before you catch a cold!” He called out as he trotted up to the second floor. 

A strange silence filled the air. Kayn shifted awkwardly on the couch, wondering what to do. He glanced at Rhaast, who sighed and rubbed his temples. 

The other man opened his eyes and met Kayn’s nervous gaze. “Come. Let's head upstairs.”

 

 

Instead of sitting awkwardly on the couch, Kayn was now standing awkwardly in the middle of Rhaast’s bedroom. Before he entered the room, he took off his sneakers and his bag left them in the hallway. He already disgraced the house by not taking off his shoes before entering, so he tried to make up for it here. He didn’t want to sit on any of the furniture in fear of wetting it. It’s not like he was going to be here long anyway. 

Speaking of the room, it was relatively simple compared to the rest of the house. It wasn’t lavishly furnished like the bedroom at the Crownguard’s place. The usual furniture was here, with the bed being abnormally huge. Since it was probably 3x the size of his dorm room, there was enough space for a desk, two large bookshelves, and another door that probably led to an adjacent bathroom. The windows had thick curtains covering them, but Kayn could hear the loud taps of the rain against the glass. 

It didn’t sound like a drizzle. 

A door opened and Rhaast stepped back in, barefoot and dressed in fresh clothing. He held an extra pair of clothes in his hands, which he offered to Kayn. 

Kayn shook his head. “I won’t be here long, so it’s fine.”

Rhaast gave him a pointed look. “You’d be a fool to leave now. The weather isn’t the most favorable at the moment. You’d be an even bigger fool to catch a cold in wet clothing when someone’s offering you dry ones.”

Kayn flushed at the unexpected scolding. Rhaast confirmed his suspicions about the rain. The university was a good half an hour walk away. He didn’t want to waste money on the bus if he didn’t have to. 

It couldn’t hurt to hang here for a bit. 

He muttered a sheepish “thanks” and accepted the clothes. “Is the bathroom through that door?” He pointed to the door Rhaast came through a moment ago. 

“Yes.” 

“Thanks.”

 

 

As he expected, Rhaast’s clothes were way too big for him. The long-sleeved tee went way past his hands and the sweat pants felt too airy. He folded his sleeves up and wrenched the little water out of his damp clothes. Before he hung his pants to dry, he took the necklace out and slipped it into his next pocket.

Rhaast was sitting on his bed when he got out. His eyes widened when they landed on him.

Kayn shifted awkwardly. He probably looked like one of those girls who tried to pull off the boyfriend aesthetic and failed miserably. He let loose his ponytail and slipped the band around his wrist.

The room was quiet, save for the rain tapping against the glass. He didn’t know what to say and apparently, neither did Rhaast. Judging from what the other man—Varus—said earlier, the guy probably didn’t have too many friends, which means he probably felt just as awkward as Kayn looked.

The silence hung between them for another 15 seconds before Kayn summoned back his usual talkative self. Silence never sat well with him when it wasn’t welcomed.

Much to his surprise, Rhaast beat him to it.

“Are you standing in the middle of my room because you fear me?”

An embarrassed “oh” made its way onto Kayn’s lips. He didn’t realize how rude he must have looked. It’s been a while since he’s visited someone’s house. Shaking his head, he slowly walked over to the bed and climbed onto the mattress. Keeping a respectable distance from Rhaast, who was resting against the headboard, he shifted into a crossed-legged position and tried his best not to fall off the edge. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to be so...awkward…”

“On the contrary, on behalf of my depraved cousin, I should be the one apologizing to you,” he gritted out. “Varus was the reason I wanted to be home before you arrived. The fool preys on anyone he can get his hands on, so I rather he didn’t take an interest in you. But it seems like I was too late.”

With everything that has happened in the past few minutes, Kayn had forgotten about Varus. It seems his initial views were wrong and the man was a part of Rhaast’s family. “No, don't apologize. In a way, I’m flattered actually. He even complimented my hair!” His attempt to lighten the mood with enthusiasm backfired because it only made Rhaast frown. 

Kayn’s grin faltered a bit, but before he could make another attempt at a joke, Rhaast leaned forward and pinched a lock of his hair in a similar manner. In a low voice, he observed, “Your hair really is quite lovely.”

Their sudden closeness made Kayn hitch a breath, but he didn’t feel the need to back away from Rhaast. He could feel his cheeks heat up ever so slightly from the compliment, with an embarrassed grin tugging at his lips, but he didn’t understand why. Rhaast’s compliment wasn’t anything special. He was just agreeing with what Varus and many others have said. 

Yet why did his opinion, in particular, make feel him different? Like someone randomly pumped happiness into his bloodstream?

“Thanks…”, he mumbled. He cast his gaze down to his lap and prayed his face didn’t look as hot as he felt. He didn’t understand why he was feeling this way. Was it because of last night?

No! If I don’t remember it, then it shouldn’t bother me. 

He tried to push those thoughts out of his mind and promised himself that he would do his best to not act like fucking a fool around the guy who was being so nice to him. Besides, Rhaast didn’t seem to be feeling awkward. Or at least not for the reasons Kayn was being awkward. After all, he had yet to mention a thing about last night. His expression was mostly neutral, or even bored really. 

Rhaast dropped the lock of hair and to Kayn’s surprise, tucked it behind his ear. Tearing his gaze from his hands, he threw the other man a questioning look. 

Rhaast had an unreadable expression on his face. He lifted his hand and gently brushed his thumb over Kayn’s hidden birthmark, sending shivers down his back. 

This was strange right? Strangers weren’t this touchy with one another?

But he didn’t push the hand away. 

“Why do you hide it?”

It took Kayn a second to realize he was referring to his mark. He’d forgotten that Rhaast had seen it and that sent a sliver of panic to his heart. Why did he want to know anyway?

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped, pushing Rhaast’s hand away. “Do me a favor and don’t mention it to anyone.” His tone was a little more defensive than he’d like, but he couldn’t help it. His mark was tethered to some very unpleasant memories he would rather not remember if given the choice. 

“Bold of you to assume I keep company regularly,” Rhaast replied softly, leaning back against the headboard. He didn’t seem fazed by Kayn’s snark, but then again, in the 10 minutes Kayn’s been in this room, Rhaast’s expression have remained unreadable. 

Wow. Way to make the guy feel great about himself. 

He had the urge to smack himself. Being a snarky little shit to host was something he swore not to do. 

The atmosphere threatened to return to the silence that hung between them earlier, but he’d be damned before he allowed that to happen. 

“Hey, I’m sorry about that,” he sighed, “It’s a touchy subject for me. I really don’t want us to get off on the wrong foot here, especially since you’re being such a great host.” He extended his hand out and gave Rhaast the friendly smile he could muster. “Can we be friends?”

 

 

Rhaast stared out the outstretched hand. These last couple of moments have been absolutely horrendous, especially since Varus poked his pathetic nose where it did not belong. It did not help he, himself, wasn’t the best at making conversation.

Now Kayn was asking if they wanted to be friends?

Did “friends” normally want to take each others’ outstretched hand and kiss the fingers?

He shifted his gaze to the other man’s face. 

One glance at Kayn’s bright smile was all it took for him to decide he did not want Kayn to be his “friend”. He had no need for friendship since it’s never benefited him before. As interesting as Kayn seemed, he was no exception.  

But…

Rhaast returned the handshake and noticed Kayn brighten up even more. It almost made him feel bad about his hidden intentions. Returning Kayn’s smile with a small one of his own, he said, “Kayn...I do not want to be your friend.”

Kayn’s smile faltered and a perplexed expression made its way onto his face. He was probably not used to others rejecting his offer of friendship, which made Rhaast the odd one here. 

Before this developed into a misunderstanding, he added, “Why do you think I invited you to my residence today?”

“Um…I don’t know? Cause it was convenient?” 

The air of naivety that surrounding him was baffling. The entire time, he thought Kayn would at least have some suspicion, but unless he was merely acting ignorant, the man had no idea. 

Were my intentions not clear enough?

Well, it was time to change that. 

Kayn had probably forgotten his hand was still within his grasp, so he took the opportunity to pull them towards his lips and gently pressed them against the knuckles. He watched as even greater confusion blossomed, along with a furious blush dawn on Kayn’s pale cheeks. “Do you understand now?” He asked, a small smirk tugging at his lips, “I want to be more than just friends .”

 

 

Kayn’s mouth dropped in shock, but not a single sound left his lips. His brain was short-circuiting as he struggled to form a sentence. 

He was hitting on me the entire time and I didn’t notice. 

A tsunami of feelings crashed into his mind. Embarrassment wanted to consume him, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit flattered when another person, regardless of gender found him attractive. “I-...umm….sorry I-....don’t know...what to say…...,” he stammered, his cheeks reaching boiling point. His hands were still within Rhaast’s grasp, but it seemed rude to pull away. Plus, at the moment, that was the least of his concerns. He swore he wasn’t this awkward when receiving….does this even count as a confession? 

What does he mean by more than friends? Fuckbuddies? Boyfriend? We hardly know each other!!

Rhaast raised an eyebrow, “There is really not much to say. You can either accept or decline.”

Today must truly be his unlucky day because he was embarrassing his dumbass every chance he got. 

“Y-yeah yeah….I knew that.” he choked. He wanted to let Rhaast know he wasn’t normally this stupid and today was just a bad day, but now was probably not the appropriate time. “So...I’m flattered—” he squirmed nervously “—and you’re probably great and all, but I’m not really into guys.” He’d been hit on a few times by other students, but never indulged. The thing with Zed was a one-time thing, and since he can’t recall the details, it didn’t count. The thing with Rhaast was also a one-time thing and since they didn’t actually fuck, it also didn’t count. 

You’re giving yourself too many freebies. 

Well drunk me and sober me have different tastes so shut up. 

If Rhaast was disappointed, it didn’t show on his face. But his brows did furrow slightly more. “Then why did you come on to me first?”

Those words stabbed him straight in the heart. 

I’m never drinking again. 

“Uhhh I did!? Um...yeah I have no answer to that,” he laughed nervously, “To be honest, I have zero recollection of last night so I’m sorry if I led you on in any way.”

The disappointment was now clearly evident on the other man’s face. Tiny needles of guilt stabbed at Kayn’s heart when he saw a frown appear on that handsome face. He didn’t reject people often, but when he did, he couldn’t help but feel awkward. 

“No, do not apologize,” Rhaast said softly, “It was the fault of mine for raising my hopes in such a way. I’d forgotten that parties like those were just for casual hookups and nothing more.” He dropped Kayn’s hand and gave him a wistful smile. 

The smile pushed the needles deeper into his flesh and he returned an awkward smile, then sighed.

Fuck it.

“I know you said you didn’t want to be friends earlier, but that doesn’t sit right with me. So to hopefully make things less awkward, I’m going to annoy you excessively with chatter so by the time I leave, you’ll be begging me to hang out or something.” He shot Rhaast a grin and continued, “To start, I should reintroduce myself for the third time. I’m Shieda Kayn, 22, computer science major. I’m from Navori, Ionia and...um....my favorite color is blue!"

There was a second of silence. 

He hoped he didn’t make things too awkward by trying to clear the atmosphere. Luckily, Rhaast seemed to appreciate his effort. 

“Rhaast Darkin, 23, law with a minor in history. I’m from...Shurima.” He caught Kayn’s gaze and smirked, “I fancy the color red.”

His smirk caught the other man off guard. Just because he wasn’t gay didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate how handsome Rhaast was. He got a quick glance at it this morning, but he didn’t give it much thought. Looking at it closely, the guy probably got laid a lot when he put effort into looking. Pair that face with the accent thing he had going on; no one could survive that. 

“It should be a crime to be that attractive,” Kayn muttered without thinking. Then immediately realized he spoke his thoughts out loud.

“So the man who holds no interest in other men finds me attractive,” Rhaast mused. 

“Wait—.... that’s not...I didn’t mean—!” Kayn let out a growl of frustration and shot him a playful glare. “I can appreciate a person’s looks without being attracted to them you know.”

“Is that so…”. There was a playful glint in his eye, but he didn’t say anything else. 

Kayn got the feeling he was being toyed with, but let Rhaast slide for now. What caught his attention was his minor in history. “Why history?” He asked, backtracking in their conversation. One of his regrets at this school was not taking more history classes besides the required prereqs for freshman year. Learning about the ancient Runeterra was boring to most, yet fascinating to him. 

“Why?” Rhaast echoed, “Because I find the subject intriguing. And professor Ryze isn’t a cumbersome teacher….You must think I’m quite dull,” he added with a sigh. 

“No, definitely not!” Kayn protested, “I love history too, actually! Personally, I enjoy learning about peoples’ histories the most. I wanted to take more classes, but my lack of self-control got in the way. Spent a lot of time partying instead.” He shot Rhaast a reassuring grin and hoped his enthusiasm was working. He didn’t get to socialize with humanity students too often because he was always surrounded by science geeks. Syndra hardly counted as a student because she barely went to class. 

“Well, what is yours?”

“Mine?”

“Your history, I mean, if you do not mind sharing. It has intrigued me the moment you introduced yourself.”

My history?

He didn’t expect to be questioned about his background with some random hookup. Hookup turned soon-to-be-friend. Most people assumed his nationality, but occasionally, someone, usually Noxians, would ask the “where are you from” question. He knew how strange it appeared: “I’m from Ionia but I have the face of your everyday Noxian.” Not a single person ever pried further than that, and those who tried were prompted with a change in topic. 

His past wasn’t something he wanted to share with random strangers. He, himself, didn’t even want to be associated with it. 

But now, someone wanted him to share. Rhaast didn’t seem like the type to pry, nor did he pressured him to share. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was feeling especially talkative today or because of Rhaast’s demeanor. He was calm as he peered into Kayn’s eyes, never breaking contact. If this was earlier, he’d feel a little awkward, but right now, he was relaxed, as if Rhaast imbued him with some of his calm. Usually, when someone brought up his past, he’d get a little anxious. 

Right now, he was anxious at how calm he was being because once again, he was acting out of the ordinary. 

Kayn took a deep breath. 

Well here goes nothing.

“You’re gonna be the first person at this school to hear this, so….feel honored or something,” he chuckled nervously. He saw Rhaast raise an eyebrow, but the man didn’t comment. “So...You, like most people who ask me this, are probably wondering why some random Noxian-looking guy has an Ionian name. Well, I am Noxian by birth and Ionian by immigration I guess, if you want to call it that? I don’t really know how I got to Ionia, to be honest. The orphanage director assumed my parents brought me over during the war, but they were killed before the war ended. To this day, I don’t remember my original name, but it’s not like I want to be associated with Noxus anymore than I have to be….Anyways, the director gave me the name “Kayn” and “Shieda” was his family name.” Kayn smiled fondly at the memory. “He was a kind old man, always saying I was too mischievous for my own good. It was only the two of us at first, but then he found more war orphans and suddenly, there was a big group of us. He didn’t have the greatest opinion of Noxians, but who could blame him? Despite that, he treated me, some random Noxian kid with unknown origins, with compassion I’ll never forget.” He felt the bed sheets rustle, reminding him he had an audience. It’s been a while since he’s reminisced this much. He didn’t have many happy memories of his childhood, but these were probably the happiest ones he had. 

Everything after was just pain. 

“What happened to him?” Rhaast asked quietly. 

“He passed away a few years later. I was around 9 or 10 when me and the other kids were split up and sent to different orphanages. Unfortunately, the new director didn’t….share the old man’s sentiments about Noxian children….and people in Southeastern Navori are very superstitious about certain things, so...um...me carrying around this birthmark wasn’t….the greatest thing. It didn’t help that I was a foreigner either. Sorry I’m rambling a lot…..and probably oversharing….I’m sorry….”. Great. He killed the atmosphere because he touched upon his traumatic past with no warning.

He probably regrets asking. 

“Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who wanted to know.”

“Yeah, but you probably don’t want to hear about the depressing stuff.”

Rhaast sighed and shook his head. “Kayn, my friend, the most boring tale one could listen to is a journey without any hardship,” he scoffed. “This ‘depressing stuff’, as you call it, is your hardship, and our conversation is proof you conquered it. Take pride in your own strength.”

His own strength. 

My own strength. 

“I...I guess never thought of it like that…” he said softly, casting his gaze back to his hands. All this time, he’s been so caught up in trying to forget the pain. Not once did he ever take a moment to acknowledge himself in the way Rhaast had acknowledged him.

He felt exposed as if he was sitting on the bed naked. He fought the urge to hoist his legs up and tuck his face into his knees, just to hide. There was another feeling besides feeling transparent. He was grateful that Rhaast didn’t pity him because that would have made him feel like shit. 

If it’s one thing he’s learned in his 22 years of life, it was pity wasn’t worth shit. 

I wonder if this is what it feels like to be understood 

He felt his eyes dampen a bit and clenched his fist in protest. There was no way in hell he was going to embarrass in front of the guy who just praised his strength a few moments ago.

“I thought you should know,” Rhaast began, “that I disagree with those who scorned you for your mark. I feel it is a beautiful part of your face.”

All of the control he held over his tears, Kayn lost it then and there. 

“Damn it Rhaast…”. A tear slipped down his cheek and fell onto his palm. It was followed by another, and another, until a slow stream ran down his cheeks. He tried his best to wipe them away, but they were fueled by his distress and did not stop. “Shit...I-I’m s-sorry you had to see me like t-this,” he sniffled. 

The other man reached for Kayn’s hands and held them in place. He carefully wiped his own sleeve across his cheeks, his expression filled with regret. “I apologize,” he whispered, “I did not mean to make you cry.” 

“N-o no, please don’t...apologize,” Kayn whimpered, gripping Rhaast’s hand. “I’m not—I’m not crying because I’m upset. I don’t normally cry.... it’s just…”. He didn’t want the other man to think this was typical for him because it definitely wasn’t. Yet at the moment, he didn’t understand why he was crying. Was it because he reminisced about his past with someone else for the first time? Or was it the unconditional acceptance Rhaast was showing him? And why?

He heard Rhaast call his name and lifted his eyes to meet his. 

The other man leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead.

Time, along with Kayn’s heart, seemed to stop at that moment. The skin Rhaast touched was set ablaze. His head questioned why Rhaast was kissing him, but the rest of him didn’t care. His mind was slowly being drawn away from the memories and all the unfamiliar emotions they evoked. 

He didn’t want to think.

He didn’t want to feel. 

Rhaast pulled away after a short moment and opened his mouth to say something. But Kayn didn’t give him the chance. He released Rhaast’s hand and silenced him with a rough kiss. 

Rhaast froze for a second, clearly surprised at his actions. But he quickly recovered from the initial surprise and didn’t pull away. Instead, he snaked his arms around Kayn’s torso and pulled the other man towards him. 

Kayn tentatively lifted his arms to hook them Rhaast’s neck. By now, he was aware of the size difference between them, since Rhaast could envelop Kayn’s entire body in his arms if he wanted. He could feel Rhaast’s hands tighten around him when he aggressively bit his lip, forcing them to part as he slipped his tongue inside. 

The walls were blazing as he explored the nooks and crannies, as if passion filled every crevice of Rhaast’s mouth. But he couldn’t taste any of it. This felt oddly familiar, even though he had no memory of last night. He sought out the other man’s tongue, but Rhaast pulled away and playfully nipped at his lips. 

As he pulled away to catch his breath, a pit pooled in his stomach. Something wasn’t right. His tears had stopped, so he should stop. He shouldn’t be doing this. But what was this?

Stop thinking

You don’t need to think. Just continue. 

Ignoring the ever-growing pit, Kayn leaned towards Rhaast’s face went in for another kiss. 

But the other man quickly released his torso and draped a hand over Kayn’s mouth. Before Kayn could recover from the rejection, Rhaast shoved him onto his back, but Kayn’s arms pulled them down together.   

Rhaast placed his hands between Kayn’s head, caging him onto the mattress. “Why are you doing this?” he asked, a small frown forming on his slightly swollen lips. 

Why?

What do you mean why?

Kayn opened his mouth to retort but he couldn’t form an answer. He cast his gaze away in humiliation, not bothering to struggle in Rhaast’s grasp. 

What am I doing?

He heard Rhaast sigh and saw him lift one of his hands. It gently cupped his cheek and brushed the skin underneath his eye. Even at a time like this, he was still being so kind, despite his fuck up. 

“Rhaast…I—”

An angry shout from the hallway interrupted him and the door to the room was violently thrown open. “RHAAST! TODAY’S PERFORMANCE WAS UNACCEPTABLE—!”. An older-looking version of Rhaast stormed into the room, but he paused in the doorway when he noticed their suggestive position. “Oh, we have a guest."

There was another shout from the hallway, presumably Varus, who yelled “I told you not to go in!”

Kayn flushed in embarrassment and quickly sat upright,  relieved that they were still properly dressed while Rhaast muttered a curse. 

Wait why?

What would we have done if we weren’t interrupted? 

“What do you want, brother?” Rhaast growled, shooting his brother an irritated glare. 

“Do not use that tone with me, child,” the man snapped back. “Quickly finish your business with your guest and send him on his way. Then come see me in my office.” He stared at Kayn for a moment, then turned on his heels and left. 

Rhaast sighed and made his way off the bed. Before he stepped out, he turned to Kayn. “Do not leave yet,” he ordered. “I will be back soon.” With that, he disappeared into the hallway. 

Kayn was silent. The interruption only made the atmosphere between them more awkward than before. It was similar to what happened between them this morning. 

I feel like I haven’t progressed at all. 

But now, he was sober. He kissed another guy while being sober. 

Kayn sighed and rubbed his temples. “I can’t believe I made out with him.”

“I share your disbelief, my dear.”

Kayn snapped his attention to the doorway, his eyes landing on Varus who was leaning against the frame. He muttered a curse. Why was everything against him today of all days? “Didn’t mean for you to hear that,” he said, sheepishly. 

“It’s alright,” Varus grinned. “If anything, it brings more amusement to my mundane day.”

Kayn stayed silent, not knowing how to reply. 

The other man filled the silence in return. “He is not going to return anytime soon, so I think it’s time you be on your way.”

“Oh...um…sure I guess”. He assumed this was Varus’s way of telling him he’s overstayed his welcome, but the Darkin didn’t give away anything in his smile. As he scrambled off the bed, the necklace he was supposed to return slipped out of his pocket. He’d almost forgotten about it even though it was the very reason he made this trip. He left it on Rhaast’s bed, then made his way into the hallway to grab his shoes and bag.

As he slipped on his shoes, he heard Varus say, “I never got your name.” 

Kayn glanced at him and gave a basic introduction. When he said his name, Varus raised an eyebrow. 

While they walked down the stairs, he said, “The rain stopped a while ago, so you should have no trouble getting back.”

They reached the entrance he had come through earlier. He opened the door and Kayn stepped onto the concrete. He opened his mouth to say goodbye, but Varus interrupted him. For a moment, the playful look in his eye disappeared and was replaced with a hard gaze. His smile disappeared and a slight frown followed it. “It was fun, I assume. But for your own good, and probably for his, I suggest you do not get involved with our family any more than this.” As quickly as it came, the hardness went away, and the flirty smile returned. He waved Kayn goodbye and shut the door.

 

 

Notes:

So.....This chapter was hard to write and I feel like I didn't do some parts of it justice (which is why I hate writing long chapters, they're a pain to edit. I swear the next thing I'm going to write is a one shot). It's that feeling when shit makes sense in your head but when you try to write it, you suddenly forget how to English. Anyways, I probably baited some of y'all with the least sexiest kiss scene you've ever read. My bad :D

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rhaast stepped into his brother’s study, and quietly closed the door behind him. This was where his brother resided most days (and nights). The man spent more time here than in his own bedroom. 

Aatrox sat with his back facing him in his usual chair by the computer desk. Upon hearing the door close, he swirled the chair around to face him. As usual, his brows were furrowed, but his angry scowl was not present on his lips.

Rhaast sighed. He anticipated the lecture, but this was awful timing. He regretted leaving Kayn by himself. It made him slightly anxious since he left at such an awkward moment. What would Kayn have said if his brother had not interrupted them? Even though Aatrox ordered him to finish his “business”, he suspected whatever they had to discuss would have taken too long, and his brother was not a patient man.

But the impatient man surprised him by not immediately jumping into a lecture. His unfocused gaze met Rhaast’s own, lost in his own thoughts. 

It was unnerving to see his brother so quiet. Normally, he wouldn’t hesitate to launch into a long critique about what he could have done better, then proceed to compare him to the other students in the class; mostly Syndra, sometimes Kayle if he was feeling generous. 

“Who was he?”

His brother’s voice pulled him out of his own thoughts and infused him with unexpected confusion. He was inquiring about Kayn? “Why the sudden interest?” 

Aatrox raised an eyebrow. “Should I not have an interest in my little brother’s relationships?”

“You’ve never had an interest before.”

“You’ve never brought anyone home before,” Aatrox countered. “Stop eluding the question and answer me!” he demanded with a scowl. 

Rhaast resisted the urge to grit his teeth. Time was being wasted in this room when he could be with Kayn. “I met him at a party. He’s a computer science student.”

“His name, Rhaast. What is his name!” 

“Why do you need to know!” He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but he couldn’t stop the irritation that forced itself in his tone. “If you’re going to lecture me on today’s presentation, get it over with already! I do not understand why you’re trying to pry into my private affairs!” 

Aatrox sat silent for a moment, staring at him in disbelief. It wasn’t often Rhaast made an attempt to argue with him, but when he did, his reaction was always the same. “Why...why you ask? Is it a crime to want to keep my brother safe from the horrors that lie in Runeterra?! After what befell our family, you dare ask such ridiculous questions!” 

Rhaast flinched. Aatrox didn’t bring up their family unless he felt it was absolutely necessary. He understood the reasons his brother had for acting the way he did, but he always assumed they would fade as he grew older. But it seems that was not the case. “I’m not a child anymore,” he retorted, but his tone lacked its earlier resolve. 

“You will always be a child to me, Rhaast,” Aatrox scoffed, the words did not hold a hint of affection. “You hold nothing but indifference for this world, but the instance something catches your attention, you worship it blindly like the Targonian fools worship their gods. Then the next thing you know, I’ll be burying another member of my family.” He chuckled and shook his head at the thought, but the pain in his laugh was unmistakable. 

“Is that really how you view me?” He gritted softly, suppressing the urge to shout. His brother was allowed to be hurt, but his pain should not have been an excuse to torment him. “A brainless child who lacks the ability to protect himself from danger?” He didn’t want them to, but his brother’s words ripped gaping wounds in his heart, a heart he believed was immune.

A subtle look of regret crossed Aatrox’s face, but he forced it away and let the silence grow between them. 

It was the only answer he needed.

Rhaast dug his nails into his palms, ignoring the sharp pains. But it didn’t stop him from raising his voice. “I...I’ll have you know I’m not as foolish as you think I am. Kayn isn’t a threat to me or anyone in this family and you know it!” Aatrox tried to interrupt, but he didn’t allow him. “The revolution in Shurima ended six years ago, but you’re still letting it ingrain within you irrational fears! Do not force your own paranoia onto me and expect me to go along with it! I’ll this once more for you to hear: I AM NOT A CHILD ANYMORE!” He let out a ragged breath and felt his hands shaking. He was angry. Angry because his brother saw him for who he used to be rather than his present self. Angry because he sunk to his brother’s level of throwing around words that were meant to hurt. Angry because the world had corrupted this honorable man into a shell of his former self.

Rhaast looked at his brother, his brother with the tired eyes that have witnessed too many of this world’s atrocities. He needed help that Rhaast was unable to give him. As harsh as his brother appeared, Aatrox was not as cold as he wanted everyone to believe. 

But the wrath which consumed him wanted to sneer at his brother’s face, who had the audacity to look hurt even though the man spent most of his life chiding him for being disappointing. But his words were enough to hurt. “You disapprove of me, brother, for having relations with a stranger, yet you yourself are the biggest hypocrite in Runeterra. You think I do not know about the baker!?” He saw his brother’s eyes widen in shock, his cheeks reddening in either outrage or embarrassment. “If our family’s legacy is everything to you, why do you associate with the one who ruined it!?” His palms felt a bit damp. Looking down, he saw his nails had broken through his skin and little drops of blood seeped out, dripping onto the floor. His palms stung, but at the moment, it was the least of his concerns. He didn’t care who his brother chose to love, but Aatrox shouldn’t have brought up Kayn as a problem that needed to be remedied. His brother cared, in his own erratic way, but he was tired of it. 

It was beginning to suffocate him. 

Rhaast muttered a curse and stormed out of the room, ignoring the shout from his brother demanding his return. He quickly made his way back to his room. Opening the door, he hoped to see Kayn waiting on his bed, but in the Ionian’s place was Varus, who was toying with a piece of jewelry. Before he could inquire, Varus answered his question. “Your friend had to go,” he said and dropped the necklace on the mattress. 

Rhaast felt his heart sink into his stomach. He hoped Kayn wouldn’t leave before they got a chance to speak again, but it seems his fears came to life. His head was in turmoil, fueled by the argument and now with Kayn’s premature exit. A part of him was glad Kayn would be spared of the miserable state he was in at the moment. He’d seen the other man at his most vulnerable point and was honored that he was able to share it. 

But he wasn’t quite ready to do the same. 

Maybe it's a sign I should stop pursuing.

Varus leaped off the bed and made his way towards the door. But before he could step out, Rhaast grabbed his arm. “Do you share his views?” He knew Varus had listened to the argument. It was expected considering his meddlesome personality. His grip tightened at the thought of his own cousin viewing him as a helpless child. He didn’t consider his family as friends, but if Varus didn’t share his blood, he was the closest thing to a friend. 

The other man huffed and feigned hurt. “I’m offended you would even consider that.” He yanked his arm from Rhaast’s grip and rubbed the sore spot. “I do suppose you could be a little more enthusiastic about life, but with our history, I don’t blame you. Your brother can be a bit harsh, but he means well.” 

Rhaast didn’t respond, but the tension within him was released. He always assumed he didn’t care about how his family members perceived him, but today’s events proved otherwise. 

Varus sighed and grabbed his cousin’s cheeks. Their height difference wasn’t great, but it hurt his pride that Rhaast, his younger cousin, was taller than him by a noticeable difference. He pulled his head forward and planted a soft peck on his forehead.

Rhaast made a face but didn’t complain. It was a gesture used in Shurima to soothe close family members, normally reserved for intimate couples and children. But then again, there was not a day that went by without an attempt from Varus to ridicule him in some way. 

Varus shot him a playful wink and left the room. Rhaast sighed and slammed the door loud enough so his brother could hear it. He made his way over to his bed and picked up the necklace. 

Kayn probably dropped it here before he left, since this was the original purpose of him coming here. He observed the gem. The necklace was indeed his, but he hadn’t seen it in ages. It was a family heirloom his brother gifted him when they reunited in Ionia. He reminisced fondly at the memory. That day was probably one of the happiest they’ve had in their miserable lives. He dropped the piece back on his bed and made his way to the bathroom. 

 

 

Kayn felt a sharp jab to his rib, which shook him out of his daze. He turned to glare at Zed and mouthed “what”!

Zed returned the glare and gestured his head to the front of the class, where all eyes, including that of an irked professor, were trained on them. 

“You have quite the nerve to be inattentive in my class this late in the year, Mr. Sheida”. Professor Camille Ferros poised at the front of the room with her arms crossed, looking unimpressed. 

“I’m sorry professor. Could you...uh...repeat the question?”

The professor glared at him, her frown deepening. She shifted her gaze to Zed and instructed, “Answer the question for your friend, Zed.”

Zed sighed. “Hextech crystals aren’t a reliable source of energy due to…..”. After giving a detailed answer, the professor thanked him and continued on with her lecture. 

Kayn shot Zed a grateful smile to which he was met with narrowed eyes. He tried to concentrate on the lecture, but after a few minutes, his thoughts began to wander again. His mind was trapped in Rhaast’s room, reflecting on yesterday’s actions. 

The feeling of Rhaast’s lips lingered on his. They had felt so soft against his own chapped one. He didn’t mean to kiss him, but even now, he still couldn’t figure out why he did it. 

You shouldn’t have taken advantage of his feelings like that. 

I know! You don’t have to remind me of how scummy I acted. 

He sighed and rubbed his temples. He knew Rhaast has some sort of feelings for him, but even now, he didn’t reciprocate them. He knew he should have stopped yesterday when his gut warned him there was something wrong. 

My gut was trying to save me from being a douche-bag and I didn’t listen. 

To make matters worse, he left in such a hurry that he left his wet clothes in the bathroom. So far, he didn’t receive any texts from the other man. Since things between him and Rhaast were even more awkward than before, he didn’t know what to do about it.  

The problems just keep on piling up. 

He uttered a soft groan and buried his face in his hands. 

“Class is over by the way”. 

Kayn sighed again and peeked at Zed through his fingers. “Can you send me your notes? I wasn’t paying attention.”

Zed made a face, but didn’t object. “Come on. Let’s eat, then work on your project.”

 

 

10 minutes have passed since they arrived at the cafe, yet Syndra still wasn’t here. 

“Strange,” Kayn said. “Isn’t she usually here before us?”

Zed checked his phone and shrugged. It would be another 10 minutes before she arrived. 

“Sorry I’m late,” she called, hurrying towards their table. She dropped some wrapped sandwiches on the table, then tossed a bag over to Kayn. “Rhaast asked me to give this to you,” she said with a smirk. “Guess you had fun yesterday.” She turned to Zed and added, “Looks like you owe me”.

While Zed grumbled something under his breath, Kayn peered into the contents of the bag. It was the clothing he left behind. He sighed in relief knowing that he didn’t have to find time to pick his clothes up. 

But a part of him was disappointed Rhaast didn’t return it himself. He had no clue what he would have done if that happened, given he left when the atmosphere was awkward. But he would have figured it out somehow since the way he left things didn’t sit well with him. First and foremost, he had to apologize for how he acted. 

But if he had Syndra returned these, doesn’t that mean he’s done with me?

“What’s wrong?” Syndra asked. Zed took out his wallet and passed her $10, which she happily received. 

“Nothing!” Kayn shook his doubts off his face and shot her a smile. “Thanks for bringing these.”

“No problem. On that note, I have something to do today, so I won’t be eating with you guys.” Before she left, she turned to Kayn and said, “I’ll be asking for details tomorrow.”, then waved at them both and hurried away. 

Details? “What ‘details’ is she referring to?” 

Zed shot him a confused look. “Your rendezvous with whatever his name was. Thanks for making me lose $10 by the way.” He unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite.

Kayn raised an eyebrow. “What did you two bet on?”

“Whether you guys fucked or not.”

Kayn let out an embarrassed cough. “Syndra I expect this from, but you??? And for the record, we didn’t do it!” He could feel his cheeks heat up at the mention of yesterday’s affairs. The mere reminder of the kiss turned him into a flustered teenage girl. He didn’t want to find out what sex would be like. 

“Wait...what!?” The other man had visible confusion written on his face. “I just got scammed out of $10! Why didn’t you say so sooner!”

“How am I supposed to know what you betted on??” He pushed aside his embarrassment and started to chuckle. “You get what you deserve man.”

Zed groaned and narrowed his eyes at him. “Then why did you leave your clothes there?”

“I got caught in the rain yesterday, so he offered me some dry clothes while I was there.”

“Hmm...then why....nevermind,”. He stopped himself and didn’t say anything after that, then went back to eating his sandwich.

Kayn copied his friend’s response, unwrapping the foil and taking a bite out of his own sandwich. He wondered what Zed was about to ask him. His friend didn’t pry as much as Syndra did, but once in a while, he’d inquire about his personal life. That’s how he learned they were both from Navori, which was a surprise since Ionia was such a vast place. 

A part of him hoped Zed would ask about the events that transpired yesterday because he was too embarrassed to bring it up himself. With all the new problems he created for himself, it would be nice to talk it out with someone. He wasn’t normally shy when it came to discussing intimate things, but since it was with a guy, he didn’t know how or where to tread. Syndra was the chattier of the two, and would probably be more helpful, but Zed seemed like he would be more understanding in his own grumpy way. 

And that’s the only thing he wanted right now; for someone to be understanding. 

They didn’t exchange another word and quickly finished their food, then made their way over to one of the campus libraries. 

 

...

 

The University of Runeterra was quite proud of its libraries. There were 20 of them in total placed throughout the campus. Kayn usually went to the main one, but Zed insisted on the one near the cafe, which was frequented by the humanities students. His reason was “the wi-fi’s faster and not a lot of people come here cause the printers never have ink”. 

When they arrived, Kayn noticed he was right. In the main room, there were only a couple of students sitting at the tables. Zed led him towards the conference rooms and closed the door. They settled in at the table and pulled out their laptops. 

“I just sent you the notes from class earlier, so check your email. I don’t know if you heard, but we have a test next week on the topics we covered today.”

Kayn sighed. “Of course we do…” He opened his email and clicked on the newest one. He skimmed the notes, which were as detailed as usual, and gave his friend thanks. Next, he pulled up his project and turned the laptop so the screen faced Zed. “So….this is what I have so far,” he said nervously. 

Zed looked at the screen and grimaced. “That’s basically nothing….”

“Yeah I know….which is why you’re the best for helping a bro out!” He shot Zed a nervous grin, to which his friend shook his head. “But anyway, here’s what I need you to do.” He grabbed his notebook and turned to a blank page, then scribbled a list of instructions. Tearing the page out, he slid the paper over to his friend, who studied it for a moment and nodded. “Alright. I’ll finish what I started and do the final bits if there’s time.” Hopefully, they’ll get most of it done today, but if not, they still have some time. 

Without another word, Kayn started tapping away at his keyboard. The lines of code multiplied across the screen in a matter of minutes. Even though he only roughly planned his project out, onslaughts of ideas popped into his head, one after another. Since he chose to do somewhat of an easy task, they didn’t run into many obstacles.

After about an hour of working, there was a tap on the door. Kayn brought his attention to the door, but from his position, couldn’t see who their visitor was. 

Zed, on the other hand, waved the person in. 

The door opened softly and an Ionian girl slipped inside. Kayn recognized her as one of his past hookups, but her name didn’t cross his mind. 

“Saw you in the window, so I thought I’d say hi”. She grinned at Zed, who sighed and reluctantly smiled back. 

“Hello Akali. I haven’t seen you in a while, but you seem well.”

She chuckled. “Maybe that would change if you stopped rejecting my invitations to hang out.”

Kayn watched their exchange for a bit before Zed made a point to introduce him. 

“Akali, this is Kayn by the way.”

“Yes I know,” she turned to Kayn and smirked. “Been a minute since we’ve crossed paths.”

Kayn returned a polite smile. He’d love to chat with her, but there were currently more important tasks at hand. He turned his attention to Zed, who was giving him a strange look. 

He couldn’t act on it because Akali shoved a textbook in his face, earning a muffled curse from the other man. “Return this to Shen for me, thanks.”

Kayn chuckled at the sight before Zed recovered enough to glare at him. His friend turned his attention back to Akali and grumbled, “There’s a thing called asking nicely.” 

Akali shrugged. She turned to leave and opened the door to their room. Before she left, she whispered “text me”, then shut the door. 

Kayn smiled and tried to refocus himself, but Zed threw him another distraction. 

“I didn’t realize you were friends with her,” he said softly. 

Ah shit

Kayn tugged at one of his loose strands and twirled it. “I wouldn’t call us ‘friends’ per se….She’s just someone I’ve slept with,” he admitted tentatively. 

Zed’s eyes widened in surprise. His mouth simultaneously coiled in disgust. “Okay I shouldn’t have asked. My bad.”

Kayn snickered at his friend’s reaction. “Sorry for having a sex life, Zed. Not everyone’s a prude like you.” 

“It’s not...argh!” He growled and shot a frustrated look at his friend. “Akali’s practically my sister. I’d rather be kept in the dark about the people she’s fucking….or fucked.”

His sister? He guessed she was another piece of Zed’s untold past. Maybe one day, the other man would tell him about it. 

As the room got quiet again, he couldn’t help but reminisce on his own past. The orphanage was really all he knew. The bits he shared with Rhaast yesterday summed up his entire life up until he enrolled at this university. In between was just the poor treatment he received from the director and the other children.

His right eye throbbed as if it remembered how he suffered that day. He had just been placed at the new orphanage after the old man died. The looks of disdain from the others had imprinted in his mind even after all these years. He always wondered how the director could hate an innocent child for simply just existing. But as he grew older, he realized it was less about who he was, but rather what he represented: the suffering that Noxus inflicted onto these peaceful lands. 

And because he wore a Noxian face, some people wanted him to suffer for it. 

They dragged him out of the bed in the middle of the night. To this day, he never figured out who the perpetrators were, but it was most likely the older children since they were able to carry him to the middle of the woods.

He remembered screaming, hoping someone would come to rescue him. But he was only met with cruel laughs. 

Then came the beatings. 

They struck him so hard, the bruises didn’t disappear for weeks. All while yelling slurs in their own respective dialects. Before they left him, they had a collective rock throwing session, one of which hit his right eye. 

He didn’t remember when he lost consciousness, but he woke up in his own bed the next afternoon, with his injuries somewhat treated and a bandage wrapped around his eye. Thankfully, everything except his eye made a full recovery. He could see fine out of it now, but it never returned to the shade of the blue it once was.  

“Why do you hide it?”

Rhaast’s question from yesterday pushed its way into his memories. Now that he thought about it, he never gave the other man a proper answer. Instead, he got defensive and shut him down, which in hindsight, was pretty embarrassing considering he spilled his life’s story a few moments after. 

Why do I hide it?

Because he became known as the “cursed” child, with the mismatched eyes and the vile birthmark which surrounded it; whom the villagers feared and the orphanage shunned. 

This mark is just a reminder of how powerless he was when he was younger. It shackled him to parents he didn’t know and memories best left forgotten, even if they represented his strength.

“It is a beautiful part of your face”. 

Kayn wanted to scoff at his compliment. He couldn’t understand why anyone would want to find beauty in something like this. But even so, he couldn’t fight his rising blush when he reminded himself of Rhaast’s words. It was strange how someone he’s had so few interactions with could affect him in such a mysterious way, from his unwanted blushes to the unfamiliar flutter in his stomach. 

Maybe…

Maybe he hadn’t given the world a chance yet. After all, this wasn’t Ionia and the tensions between Ionians and Noxians had settled down since he was a kid. After all, he was friends with two of them and Yasuo hadn’t asked to change roommates. 

If Rhaast could look at the real him without disgust, then maybe Zed and even Syndra could too. He’d be finally able to let go of this fear and be understood by those who wanted him around. 

Which reminded him about another unanswered question…

“Hey Zed?”

The other man ignored him for a second, the taps of the keyboard filling the silence. After a moment, he muttered a stern “what” without looking up from his screen. 

“I just realized you never told me the reason why you let me hang around.” Even though he would never admit it, he’s grown quite fond of his grumpy friend, who never grew tired of his antics no matter how irritated he was. He never questioned the reason behind it, but if he was going to bury his insecurities, he needed to know how his friend saw him. 

To his surprise, Zed pulled his attention away from his screen and met his gaze. His expression seemed conflicted, which was a bit unsettling to Kayn. In the back of his thoughts, doubt nagged at him. 

What if—

Stop!

He didn’t want to make his own assumptions about his friend’s reasons. It only fueled his unease. He wanted to know, but he didn’t want to pressure Zed into telling him. 

After about a minute of silence, he opened his mouth to retract his question, but Zed decided to speak.

“Do you remember the party we went to? The one where we hooked up?”

Kayn cocked an eyebrow. This was not the direction he expected Zed’s answer to go. He remembered attending, but there was a blank where his memory should be for the rest of the night. “What about it?”

“You’re…” Zed paused for a moment, searching for the words. “You were a really touchy drunk.”

A nervous chuckle slipped out of Kayn’s mouth. He thought this would be a serious conversation, especially since it was Zed, but maybe he thought wrong? “I don’t really get where you’re going with this?”

His friend muttered something under his breath and sighed. “I’m trying to piece together my memory okay. I wasn’t as drunk as you, but still drunk just so you know.” He rubbed his temple before continuing. “That night, you were acting kind of….weird I guess. Just moping around and not being the annoying ass drunk you usually are.”

“Ouch! You really don’t hold back do you?”

“Nope. So anyway, I kept you company for a bit and we talked. You whined about how lonely you were because break was coming up and you didn’t have a family to go home to. I guess I pitied you—”

“Hold up,” Kayn interrupted, ignoring the glare from his friend. “Please don’t tell me you slept with me cause you felt bad for my drunk ass.”

Zed looked away and had the sense to look a bit embarrassed. 

“Oh no…. ZED!” Kayn couldn’t help but feel mildly irritated, but he felt a laugh push up from inside his throat. “So our entire friendship is built on you feeling sorry for me? Should I...should I be feeling offended or grateful???” 

Still unable to meet his gaze, his friend replied, “Feel what you want, but I’m just saying that’s where it started.”

Kayn couldn’t help himself. Uncontrollable laughter spilled out of his mouth. He saw Zed sigh and crack the smallest hint of a grin. The next few minutes were spent trying to catch his breath because he couldn’t stop laughing at his own anxiety. He made himself worried for no reason and silently cursed Zed for making it seem like it was something serious. 

When he finally calmed down, the other man surprised him. “I don’t know much about your history. But what I do know, from one orphan to another, is you’re a pretty resilient guy who doesn’t need anyone’s pity.” There was the slightest hint of red blooming on his friend’s face. “You’ll never hear me say this again, but I don’t regret sleeping with you because now….now I have someone I can happily call my friend.” 

Zed’s words stunned him for a moment. He could feel his mouth stretched in the biggest smile that ever graced his face along with his face mirroring Zed’s reddened cheeks. “Wow Zed, I didn’t realize you loved me that much.”

“I take back—”

“I’m kidding!!! I just...I don’t know what to say….thank you....” he muttered sheepishly. “I don’t know if you knew, but I really needed to hear that.” Thankfully, he didn’t feel the need to cry embarrassingly in front of his friend again. The fear he felt in his heart earlier had disappeared and left him at peace.   

“Yeah yeah,” Zed grumbled, ”Can we get back to work now? I don’t want to keep talking about this sappy shit.”

“Answer me one last question.”

“What?”

“Was I the top or bot—”

“For fuck’s sake, is shame a foreign concept to you???”

“Bro you knew I’d be curious, so just tell me.”

Zed sighed. “Bottom. Why would I leave my precious ass to a first-timer like you.” He glared at Kayn when the other man tried to protest and said, “Say one more thing and I’m going to leave.”

That instantly shut him up and they both went back to work. 

 

 

The orange rays of the setting sun streamed into the main hall when they stepped out of their conference room. Surprisingly, there were more students now than there were earlier. 

With Zed’s help, Kayn had managed to finish most of what he planned to do today. This left him with about a fourth of the work left to do, which was pretty manageable with the days he had left. 

“Thanks again for…” his voice trailed off as his eyes landed on someone familiar. 

The light that shone onto Rhaast’s hair made it seem like it was on literal fire. The Shuriman was so absorbed in an old book and didn’t notice Kayn’s stares. 

Zed followed his gaze and asked, “Someone you know?”

Kayn smiled nervously. “You could say that.” After his epic fuck up, he knew he had to apologize one way or another, but he didn’t expect to see him again so soon. 

He looks a little busy, so maybe some other time. 

But his feet didn’t want to move. He wondered if he stood there long enough, would Rhaast notice him? But then what? What if he was really upset with his behavior and would ignore him?

“Kayn?”

Zed's voice coaxed him out of his thoughts and he turned to meet his gaze. Interestingly enough, there was a small grin tugging at his lips. “Is that him?”

There was no point in hiding it, so Kayn nodded.

“Wow. I didn’t think he’d be this hot.”

Kayn huffed in agreement. “I literally said the same thing and got teased for it. Telling Shen you said that by the way.” Zed’s glare made him chuckle. “Let’s go. I want to grab some food before I head back to the dorms.”

His friend gestured a hand over to Rhaast. “Don’t you have something to say to him?”

“I do…. but I….kinda messed up yesterday, so I’m probably the last person he wants to see right now,” he admitted slowly. 

“Hmm…”

His friend’s stare made him waver. Maybe he was just making excuses for himself because he was embarrassed. 

“Since you look uncertain, I’m just going to say you’re here already, so you might as well get it over with, then deal with what comes next.”

He couldn’t argue with his friend’s logic, considering his own made him feel like a coward. It was the final push he needed to muster up his courage. “Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave Zed a grateful smile, then made his way over to the man sitting by the window. 

He nudged Rhaast’s leg to grab his attention. When the other man met his gaze, Kayn smiled and waved frantically. “Fancy seeing you here.” 

 

Notes:

I'm like 2 days late but Merry Christmas y'all.

Chapter 7

Notes:

Okay so I finally figured out the number of chapters this is going to get. Subject to change cause my ass is indecisive.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Rhaast knew his eyes were deceiving him. That had to be the case because what other explanation would there be for Kayn to be standing before him at this very moment?

It’s barely been a day and he was already hallucinating the Ionian’s presence. Maybe his brother’s comment about his infatuation was right, and it was dangerous. 

How pathetic. 

It must be due to the minimal sleep he received last night. His boiling rage kept him awake through ungodly hours, toiling over how he was to face his brother in class the next morning. In the end, he ended up skipping class for the first time in his life. The rebellious freedom he felt walking away from the lecture hall today filled him with temporary unease, which quickly dissipated once he settled down in the library. To add fuel to the fire, he deliberately left his phone on his desk just in case his brother decided to inquire about his whereabouts. 

“Rhaast?” Kayn reached forward and gently nudged his shoulder, “You okay?”

That felt present. 

As Kayn retracted his hand, Rhaast grabbed it midway. “You’re here,” he whispered in disbelief. 

“Yes, I’m am?” He replied with a confused grin. But he didn’t pull his hand away. Much to Rhaast’s surprise, Kayn’s fingers reflexively curled around his own, the touch sending warm tingles to his stomach. 

“Why are you here?”

Kayn raised an eyebrow and shifted his gaze to the floor. “Well if that’s referring to why I’m at the library specifically, then it’s cause I was working on a project with a friend.” He paused for a moment before he sighed and met Rhaast’s eyes again. “But if it’s more along the lines of ‘why are you here in front of me?’, well…..I…I couldn’t leave things the way I did, so I’m here to apologize.”

Apologize? 

“What for?” 

Even in the dim light, he didn’t miss the slight blush that rose onto Kayn’s face. He felt the hand he grasped tremble a bit, but he did not know if that meant Kayn wanted him to let go. 

“For....um….k-k-kissing you without your permission,” he stuttered, his face taking on an even more obvious red hue. “I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your feelings like that and I’m sorry.”

He was apologizing for that?

Rhaast let out an unexpected chuckled. He tried to suppress it, but it continued to bubble out of his chest despite his efforts. He didn’t understand why the Ionian felt the need to apologize for something that never bothered to cross his mind. He snuck a peek at Kayn, who looked helplessly confused at his response. The poor man shifted his gaze frantically around the room, unsure of what to do. 

Rhaast wasn’t laughing particularly loud, but some of the other students shot them angry SHHHs. It only made him chuckle louder. He tossed the book he was reading onto the table and stood up from his chair. Then led the very confused Kayn, who had yet to let go of his hand, outside the building. 

 

...

 

The sun had almost set when they stepped onto the common grounds. But it wasn’t late nor cold enough to deter students from loitering on the lawn. 

Rhaast had settled into a slow-paced stroll on the main road, heading nowhere in particular. They had rushed out of the library quite hastily, but Kayn hadn’t voiced any complaints so far. Neither of them spoke for a minute until the other man asked, “Why were you laughing?” There was no anger in his tone, just raw curiosity.  Rhaast stopped in his steps and turned to face him. “Because it amused me that you’d want to apologize for that.” He gave Kayn a small smile and asked, “Why would I be upset about receiving a kiss from someone I desire?”

He watched as the flustered Ionian struggled to come up with a response. He had to admit, it was quite the charming sight. His day hadn’t been great so far, but these last couple of minutes spent with Kayn seemed to have changed his mind. Even though the other man didn’t return his feelings, he was learning the joy of being in another’s company, which opposed the solitary image his family members seemed to have of him. 

After a minute of being flustered, Kayn recovered from his initial embarrassment and sighed. “You’re too smooth for your own good,” he said with a chuckle. “I really don’t understand what you see in someone like me.”

Rhaast began to answer, but Kayn cut him off. “Please don’t answer that. I have no doubt your reasons will turn me into another flustered mess. You’ve already seen more sides to me than I would like,” he added. 

He would never admit it, but Kayn’s words stung, much like the way his brother’s did. “Why does that bother you?” He enjoyed the many faces Kayn showed him, from embarrassed to lustful, and thought the other was comfortable around him. The Ionian’s colorful expressions contrasted with his own expressionless ones with the occasional smile. Whereas he came off as cold and disinterested, Kayn’s loud outbursts of emotion, whether it was joy or sadness, were foreign to him, yet fascinating to him. He almost envied him for having such an expressive personality. Maybe if he had been more like Kayn, then Aatrox and Varus’s opinions of him would be better. 

Kayn shifted nervously and pondered his question. “I...well…” he reached for a strand of his hair and twirled it around his finger, “It’s not you in particular, it’s just...people in general I guess. I rather people see the sides I choose to show rather than them stumbling on parts of me I want to...keep hidden.” He paused as a smile greeted his lips. “But you know, since I met you and we….talked, I’ve been trying to show more of myself to people important to me. You gave me some unexpected boost in self-confidence I never realized I lacked, so thank you for that.” 

His smile flooded Rhaast with an emotion he’d almost forgotten: joy. Kayn’s gratitude rang in his ears on repeat and he resisted the urge to caress the Ionian’s face. But along with the joy, jealousy has found its way in, tied with a pang of guilt. He was honored that he aided Kayn in this journey of self-discovery, but the desire to keep the man to himself pricked him. He didn’t want others to see the faces of Kayn he’d stumbled upon; he didn’t want to share the side of Kayn he’s grown fond of. 

He should have left his hopes at the manor because this pining was ridiculous. But he didn’t want to give up just yet, not when Kayn hadn’t let go of his hand. 

He slowly lifted his other hand and gave into the desire to caress Kayn’s radiant face. The other man stiffened, but he did not push him away, sparking a tiny bit of hope within Rhaast’s heart. The hand that held Kayn’s tightened a bit, and he observed the way realization dawned on Kayn’s face. “Your gratitude warms my heart in ways I cannot describe,” he began, “I’m happy for you, yet….I cannot help but feel envious. I know it’s selfish of me to want to keep you to myself, to want to become….someone you’d deem important.” He brushed his thumb across Kayn’s soft cheekbones and smiled wistfully. 

 

 

Kayn didn’t understand why Rhaast’s smile made his heart clench and sigh at the same time. The guy was still a walking underwear catalog even when he looked sad, which was totally unfair. The hands that held him were so warm and comfortable, and he resisted the urge to lean into the one cupping his cheek. He knew the proper thing to do was to pull away and stop giving off these mixed signals, but he didn’t want to. He had no response to Rhaast’s statement, but the Shuriman didn’t seem to be looking for one.

He wants to become someone important to me

Rhaast was the first to learn about his past. The first he could trust, for whatever reason, to listen to him. The first to truly understand him. 

“But you...already are,” he whispered slowly, gazing into the other’s wistful face. 

He watched as Rhaast’s eyes widened in surprise, but he stayed silent. 

Kayn opened his mouth to say something, anything to explain himself, to fill the silence. But only a stream of incoherent noise spewed out. 

“GET A ROOM PLEASE!”

Startled, he shook his hand free from Rhaast’s hold, who in turn dropped his hand from his face, and turned his attention to the laughing passersby who interrupted...whatever they were doing. Whatever atmosphere they had earlier was gone now, but it didn’t stop his heart from pounding so loudly in his chest. He could feel his cheeks as hot as ever, contrasting with the cool air now that the sun had officially gone down. 

The street light shone brightly in his face as he scanned the surroundings. There were still students out and about, but it was much less than before. He wondered how long he and Rhaast have been standing here, staring at each other like that. 

God that’s embarrassing. 

He felt the hot gaze of Rhaast boring down on him. Unable to meet his eyes, he cast his gaze to his hands, then mumbled, “So...um….it’s getting late. I should probably get going....” His stomach had been growling for a while now, and he hoped the other didn’t hear it. He took a peek at Rhaast’s expression and noticed the slight disappointment on the other man’s face. “But we can meet some other time and...um....talk some more?” He added quickly. Judging by Rhaast’s nod, his invitation seemed to help the other man’s mood, but he still looked a bit down. 

As guilty as that expression made him feel, Kayn didn’t have the courage to continue their conversation from before they were interrupted. Rhaast would probably ask him to explain what he meant earlier. But he didn’t have an answer for him, at least not at the moment. 

Rhaast was important to him, for a number of reasons he could explain, but also several he couldn’t put into words. The feelings behind them were muddled and complicated, but they called out to him in a way that made him feel safe. 

“May I at least walk you home?”

Kayn smiled at him.“Forever the gentleman it seems.”

 

 

Even though he kind of expected it, he hoped Rhaast wouldn’t turn to his usual silence during the walk. It wasn’t a very long walk, but he’ll be damned if they spent the entire 15 minutes together without uttering a single word. Even though it was better than the Shuriman trying to revive the conversation from earlier, he’d still prefer to chat about something. 

That’s selfish thinking. Let the guy have his peace after you interrupted it earlier. 

He still couldn’t believe, but was grateful, that Rhaast wasn’t upset about the kiss. He knew he tended to overdramatize scenarios in his head, but he was pretty sure kissing someone without their permission was a terrible thing to do. 

And quite possibly a crime depending on the context. 

This could have been a bigger deal than it was, but thankfully, the Rhaast was understanding. And also kind of hardcore crushing on him from the way it seems. He wondered if it was selfish of him to want to continue being friends with someone who felt that way towards him. But the person in question didn’t seem to mind. Or maybe he was too nice to say something. 

No, he definitely isn’t shy about voicing whatever comes to mind considering all his smooth compliments. 

Maybe he’d ask his friends for advice since he never had prior experience in stuff like this. All his past relations were either purely physical or fleeting. He couldn’t remember the last time he crushed on someone or asked a girl out. 

But thinking about this doesn’t solve the problem at hand: the silence that hung between them. 

He couldn’t come up with any meaningful topics worth discussing, so as much as it killed him to ask, he opened with, “So...how was your day?”

Sometimes I hate myself.

This time, Rhaast continued to walk while casting him a side glance. “I’ve been wondering about this for a while, but do you have some sort of aversion to silence?”

“Wow,” Kayn muttered, “I didn’t realize it was that obvious. But yeah, sorry if it’s kinda annoying.”

“No, it’s quite fine. I enjoy listening to you speak. It’s just not something I’m accustomed to.”

 Kayn smiled. 

Here was someone who appreciated his chatty mouth. Zed could never. 

“To answer your question,” Rhaast continued, “My day’s been fine. And you?”

“Mine was fine too. Thanks to Zed, I was actually productive today so maybe I’ll manage to finish the project on time.” He wondered if he would have been as productive if Syndra had decided to tag along as she usually did. Speaking of Syndra… “Hey I forgot to thank you for giving Syndra my clothes,” he said suddenly, “Guess I should be glad she went to class for once.” 

Rhaast snorted at the comment. “I do not believe she went to class. When I handed her the bag, we were both here at the library when we were supposed to be in class.” 

Kayn raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Oooo? Did I just hear you skipped class? That’s pretty ballsy for someone whose brother is the professor.”

By now, they reached his resident building. He didn’t want to head in just yet because it seemed like he was going to hear something interesting from the other man. He never took him for the type, but sometimes, even the most studious people needed a break. He pulled him over to a well-lit spot before they continued their conversation. 

“It was my first time skipping,” Rhaast admitted. Judging by the apparent smirk on his face, he didn’t seem too guilty about it either. “At the moment, I couldn’t be too bothered about how my brother sees me.” He muttered something else under his breath that Kayn couldn’t pick up. 

Even though he was smiling, the anger in his tone was unmistakable. It reminded him of the other day when Syndra briefly mentioned her family. A hint of worry crept into his heart when the memory of Rhaast’s brother barging into the room yesterday flashed into his mind. Just to make sure, he asked, “Is everything okay?” In the bright light, he saw Rhaast cock an eyebrow. “With your brother I mean.” He added, “I don’t mean to pry, but the other day when he...came in, he seemed kinda upset.” 

Rhaast peered at him for a moment. His smile had disappeared and his usual unreadable expression made an appearance. It made him feel a bit uneasy and wondered if he asked something he shouldn’t have.

“Yesterday,” he started, casting his eyes away from Kayn’s gaze, “We had an argument. I seldom argue with my brother, but he was out of line with the things he said and I—” Rhaast stopped himself and shook his head, “Either way, it doesn’t matter. I don’t plan on heading home tonight.”

That did not come out the direction Kayn expected. Now, he felt a bit guilty for prying since this seemed like a family affair. But even so, he and Rhaast were….friends of the sort, which justified the concern he felt. Which is why he found himself asking, “Where do you plan on staying?”

“The library,” Rhaast answered, without a single drop of hesitation like it was the most obvious answer a person could think of. 

Kayn, on the other hand, was horrified. “Are you insane?? Just cause they’re open 24/7 doesn’t make it a suitable place to sleep! Don’t you have any friends you can crash with for the night?” Immediately, he regretted his question. He almost forgot that Rhaast, as smooth as he came off, wasn’t the type to keep company. 

“It seems you’ve forgotten I have no one to call ‘my friend’,” he smirked. “Moreover, it’s none of your concern, so if we’re chatting, I’ll be on my way.” 

He started to leave, but Kayn grabbed his arm. “Stay with me then!” he blurted out. Excitement surged through him and shoved aside the potential regret that was about to nag at him. They were “friends”, but he was under no obligation to help him, especially since unfamiliar emotions arose whenever Rhaast was around him. But there was something compelling him to do so, and he didn’t want to ignore it. “I’ve said this a billion times, I’ll say it again: you can call me your friend, and as your friend, I should probably feel concerned.”

Rhaast made a face. “I would rather not impose—”

“Dude I’m literally the only thing standing in between sleeping safely and getting mugged at 3 am,” Kayn interrupted. He shot Rhaast a grin and pulled him towards the entrance. “And besides, I gotta show you the same hospitality you showed me when I was at your place.”

Rhaast looked like he wanted to protest some more, but he eventually shrugged his shoulders and gave in. 

Kayn did a silent cheer. He hoped this gave him the chance to get to know the Shuriman better since the man already knew a lot about him. Yasuo probably won’t say no, but he pulled out his phone and texted him just in case.

 

 

When they reached his floor, his roommate still hadn’t responded. It was only 7:30, so he couldn’t have gone to bed yet.

Maybe he went out?

With Rhaast following closely behind, they made their way down the hall, then in front of his room. To his surprise, the door was slightly ajar and he heard loud humming from inside. 

Rhaast stood in the hall as Kayn pushed the door open and called out, “Yas?”, then stepped inside. 

The first thing he noticed was his roommate’s side of the room was unusually clean. Their third roommate, also known as Yasuo’s dirty laundry, was nowhere to be found and the other’s desk was tidied up, and freed from paper. Yasuo himself shuffled around the room and tossed items into a duffle bag while bobbing his head to music that blasted loudly from his headphones. He twirled around and upon noticing Kayn, paused his packing, and slipped his headphones around his neck. “Oh, you’re back?”

Kayn gestured to the bag with an eyebrow raised. “Heading somewhere? Also, did you get my text?” It wasn’t unusual for his roommate to spontaneously pack up and leave for a few days, but he usually let Kayn know a few days in advance before heading out. The Ionian traveled throughout Runeterra to attend concerts, festivals, raves, etc. To be honest, the man probably cared more about his music than his actual studies. 

Yasuo shook his head and replied, “Zaun’s hosting a music festival on Saturday, but I gotta get there early to camp out,” he tossed another set of clothes into his bag before adding, “Did you need something?”

Kayn poked his head back into the hallway and motioned for Rhaast to come in. He turned back to Yasuo and asked, “This is Rhaast. He needs a place to crash for the night. Would you mind letting him stay?”

Yasuo nodded his head at the Shuriman and shrugged. “Not an issue for me. I’ll be heading out in a few minutes anyway, so the place is yours till I get back.” 

Rhaast muttered thanks and then proceeded to stand awkwardly beside the door. While he did that, Kayn slipped off his shoes and dumped his bag on the ground. He then dropped onto his bed with a tired sigh. He pulled out his phone and noticed a text from Syndra. It consisted of a smug emoji along with an eggplant and the okay hand symbol. 

One of these days, he was going to kill Zed. 

He chuckled to himself but didn’t reply because that would only add fuel to the fire. She’d probably bug him about it tomorrow so might as well save him the trouble. 

“Alright, I’m out.” 

He looked up from his screen to see his roommate standing at the entrance with his bags strapped over his shoulders. He saluted and said, “Bring back some souvenirs please.”

Yasuo shot him a thumbs up, nodded to Rhaast, then walked into the hallway and shut the door behind him. 

Then there was silence, which was interrupted by the low grumble of Kayn’s stomach. 

Laughing, he looked at Rhaast, who was still standing in the middle of the room and said, “Well, I guess it’s just you and me.” He opened his arms, gesturing to the room, and added, “Your bathroom is probably bigger than this, but it’ll have to do.”

Rhaast nodded in agreement, just as his stomach started to grumble.

Kayn shot him a smirk. He reached over to open one of his nightstand drawers and took out two packets of instant noodles. “It’s a bit of a hassle to head to the cafeteria, so I hope this is okay with you.”

Rhaast shrugged. “It’s not something I’ve eaten before. I’m also not in a position to complain.” 

Kayn pulled out his electric kettle along with two bottles of water from under his bed. While he set up his items on his desk, he shot Rhaast an astonished look. “Seriously?” He poured the water into the pitcher and watched it hum to life when he plugged it in. “Life of a rich kid I guess.” 

Rhaast didn’t respond and took the opportunity to observe the room. He took off his shoes, a gesture that he did not miss, before coming to stand beside Kayn. “Thank you again for letting me stay,” he thanked softly as he watched the steam rise out of the kettle. 

Kayn responded by waving it off. “Like I said before, it’s not a big deal. You’re just gonna have to live like a peasant for a day though,” he joked, “Shared bathrooms, noisy neighbors, and the whole nine yard.” 

The corners of Rhaast’s mouth twitched, but he stayed silent and continued to watch the steam rise. 

The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, but Kayn still felt the urge to talk. This was a pretty big leap he took, letting Rhaast stay here. Their relationship was still very undefined, even though he was insistent on the title of friends. It was less complicated, even though they didn’t feel like friends. But he couldn’t tell if they were more or less. 

Still, he wanted to know more about the other man. All this time, it feels like they’ve only talked about him. While it helped him learn more about himself, it left the Shuriman shrouded in mystery. 

Maybe I’ll learn more since he’s here. 

“Hey Rhaast?” 

The Shuriman turned to look at him with an unreadable expression. 

“Have you ever been to Ionia?”

The other man’s face twisted into something along the lines of curiosity. “Why do you ask?” He replied. His tone wasn’t defensive, but it seemed like he was caught off guard by the question. 

“No reason in particular. I just noticed you took off your shoes before walking around, which is basically an unspoken rule in Ionia. Appreciate that by the way,” he added. There were probably other cultures that did the same, but he only knew of his own. It might have been a stretch, but it would be nice to have something in common with the other man besides their shared love for history. 

Rhaast waited a bit before he answered, “I spent some time in Navori during my youth.” 

Kayn was surprised. Rhaast didn’t mention this the other day when they discussed their backgrounds. He didn’t seem like he wanted to elaborate, even though Kayn desperately wanted to.

It might be a sore subject, so don’t press. 

Much to his relief, the kettle beeped, signaling the water was ready. He unwrapped the packets of noodles and poured the boiling water into their respective bowls.

Rhaast observed the entire process with interest. Kayn suppressed a chuckle, which was difficult considering the man looked like a child watching a movie for the first time. 

When the three minutes were up, he handed Rhaast a disposable fork he stole from Yasuo and took out his respective chopsticks. “And that’s how it’s done my friend,” he displayed proudly, “A poor college student’s guide to breakfast, lunch, dinner, 1 am snack, basically whenever I get hungry.” 

Rhaast chuckled softly and unwrapped his fork. He lifted his bowl, scooped up a forkful of noodles and shoved it in his mouth. 

Kayn watched his eyes widen in surprise and laughed. He grabbed his own bowl, the smell making his stomach grumble loudly, and dug in. 

 

 

It was almost 8:00 when Kayn checked his phone again. After eating, he and Rhaast settled into this comfortable silence, something he begrudgingly went along with because it didn’t seem like the other man was up for chatting. 

The Shuriman had settled onto the floor where he sat and read a book Kayn lent him. He had tried to get him to sit on his bed, but Rhaast protested and said he didn’t want to sit on his bed with soiled clothes. 

Even in his own room, he was being out-hosted. 

Kayn sighed. He had turned on his laptop and attempted to continue his project, but his mind kept wandering, especially in the direction of his guest. In the past 5 minutes, he’s only been able to write two lines of code. It was like Rhaast’s very presence was a distraction, but he didn’t seem to mind it considering he wasn’t trying his hardest to focus. His gaze kept alternating between his laptop screen to the man who leaned against his bed, who thankfully very absorbed in the novel that he didn’t notice Kayn sneaking glances at him. 

“Is there a reason you keep staring at me?” 

Maybe not as oblivious as I thought. 

He flushed slightly at being caught and shook his head. He saw Rhaast tear his attention away from his page to smirk at him. 

Before he could make some flirtatious comment, Kayn interjected and said, “I was just about to mention you should probably hit the showers before people start hogging the bathrooms.” 

Rhaast snapped the book shut and sighed. “I’d love to, but I don’t have any clothing nor a towel.”

Shit. 

Maybe he didn’t think this through enough. 

“Uh…” Kayn got up from his desk to search his drawers. He had a spare towel, but his clothes probably wouldn’t fit Rhaast. It didn’t stop him from digging through his drawers just in case. 

While he actively searched, Rhaast mentioned, “If I recall, I lent you my clothing the other day. I don’t have an issue with me wearing that.” 

Kayn grimaced. “Bro, there’s no way I’m letting you wear dirty clothes.” His hand landed on a pair of black sweatpants he bought a few months ago. The price was too good to resist, so he ignored the size and hoped for the best. Turns out, they sagged every time he took a step. He didn’t bother returning them since they were final sale, and glad he didn’t give it away since they might come in handy now. He turned around and tossed the pair to Rhaast. “Try these,” he ordered, then attempted to find a shirt. The biggest one he found was an old gym shirt that seemed it’d be a tight fit, but he tossed it to Rhaast anyway.

Rhaast rubbed his fingers over the fabric and frowned. He looked like he wanted to protest, but Kayn glared at him playfully. “It’s better than nothing,” he scolded and tossed a towel to the other man, then stood up and stretched. In the back of his mind, he could swear there was something he was forgetting…

Top. Check.

Pants. Check.

Pants…

He tugged on his hair nervously before stating, “Uh...I hope you don’t mind sleeping commando cause...um...you know…” he couldn’t help but blush at the thought. He could make the other clothes work but definitely could not count on his underwear to fit. Even if it did, that was a whole new level of weird he didn’t want to think about. 

He heard Rhaast snort, which did nothing to help his embarrassment. The other man stood up and walked towards him. “It’s not an issue,” he replied with a smirk, “In case you were wondering, I regularly sleep without undergarments.” Kayn opened his mouth to say something, but he was too flustered. There was some kind of intent behind Rhaast’s words, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. 

Rhaast, seemingly satisfied with Kayn’s reaction, added, “Mind showing me to the bathrooms?” 

Kayn nodded. He grabbed his keys and decided to wait for Rhaast to finish so he could show him back to the room. They made their way out into the hallway and towards the showers.

 

 

Kayn let out a sneeze as he dried his damp hair. Earlier, he had given Rhaast the keys to his dorm for him to head back first while he finished his shower. By now, the dorm’s residents had started to pour in, so he quickly finished with his hair, brushed his teeth so he didn’t have to come back later, and made his way back to his room. 

He opened the door to his room and almost did a double-take when his eyes landed on a very shirtless Rhaast sitting on his bed. He forced himself not to stare as he shut the door and dumped his dirty clothes in the corner. 

Rhaast looked up from his book when he heard Kayn come in. Kayn settled in his desk chair and tried to avoid staring at the toned pecs that sat in front of him. “So...I’m guessing the shirt didn’t fit?”

“It was a bit tight, but no matter. I sleep without a shirt most days.”

Kayn nodded awkwardly. The pants seemed to fit, but even he could tell they were a little tight. Rhaast’s toned legs seemed as if they were about to burst the seams any minute. He could even see the outline of his—

“Okay that’s enough,” he announced, mildly embarrassed “I’m gonna head to sleep.” He didn’t know why his mind wandered in that direction, but he was probably just tired and needed some sleep.

He got up and checked his phone, to which the time read 9:02. It was way earlier than the time he usually slept, but the day wore him out in more ways than one. He double-checked his alarms, then dropped his phone onto the nightstand. By now, he realized that they didn’t discuss the sleeping arrangements either, but he settled for the floor. There was always the option of sleeping in Yasuo’s bed, but he couldn’t recall the last time that guy washed his sheets.

“What are you doing?”

As he grabbed Yasuo’s pillows and blanket, he shot Rhaast a puzzled look. “Going to sleep?” He answered and dumped his roommate's blanket on the floor. 

“Why not sleep in your own bed?”

“Cause I’m not a terrible host? Plus you’re the one having a bad day, so it’s the least I could do.”

Rhaast frowned. “I’m the one imposing on you, so really, it should be me who sleeps on the floor.” Before Kayn could counter, he asked, “Why don’t we share it?” 

Kayn opened his mouth to protest, but he couldn’t think of a reasonable objection to give other than his bed being tiny. It’s not like they haven’t shared a bed before, but sober him was reluctant to be so close to the other man without having some strange feelings bloom in his chest. 

“If you have no reasons to object, then come on.”

He’s right. It’s not a big deal. It’s just like sharing a bed with Zed or Syndra, between friends. 

Kayn sighed and let his protest die down. He was making a bigger deal of this than he needed. 

It was just one night anyway. 

He turned off the light to the room before making his way into his bed.

Rhaast had already lied down with his back facing him. Kayn crawled in beside him and fixed the blanket before he got comfortable. There was a moment of silence between them before he called out “good night.”

“Good night, Kayn.”

Kayn smiled and shifted onto his side. It’s been a while since he’s shared a bed with someone like this. Even though their backs face each other, he felt the heat radiate from the other man’s body. In the darkness of the room, he knew if he moved even the slightest, their bodies would touch. The thought of Rhaast’s bare skin touching his own made him shiver and he pulled the blanket closer to him, thankful the other man couldn’t see his embarrassed face. In no time, he felt the slow rise and fall of Rhaast’s chest, which gently lulled him into sleep. 




Notes:

Hmm....I wonder what will happen tomorrow morning

But anyway, I'm late again but Happy New Year y'all. And on a side note, the Ruined King has no right to be that attractive. smh

Chapter 8

Notes:

Sorry guys. I had this finished for a while, but this chapter was a pain to edit...for reasons.

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Chapter Text

When he opened his eyes, he was sitting pantless on a countertop in a fancy, yet familiar bathroom. It was more modern than the one he saw at Rhaast’s house, with the expensive marble freezing his naked cheeks off. He scratched his head and tried to figure what the context of this dream was. 

This was a dream, right? 

He didn’t understand why he would ever dream himself pantless, but keep a t-shirt on. Didn’t seem to make much sense, but then again, dreams probably weren’t supposed to make sense. 

He blinked again and this time, Rhaast materialized in front of him, wearing nothing but his pair of too-tight sweatpants, which did nothing to cover the Shuriman’s gorgeous body. 

Kayn dropped his mouth in surprise, quickly closed his legs, and placed his hands over his crotch in embarrassment. “Umm!! This isn’t what you think!!” He didn’t know why he was trying to explain himself, or why Rhaast suddenly appeared, but he sure as hell was not about to make a fool of himself in his own dream. 

Rhaast stepped closer to him. He placed a hand on Kayn’s knee and grinned. “And what do you presume I’m thinking about?” He purred and slowly trailed his fingers up the Ionian’s bare thighs. 

Oh no

The feeling of Rhaast’s cold fingers sent shivers throughout his body. He could feel his cock twitch as his cheeks slowly heated up. “Rhaa-st,” he choked, “S-top do-ing th-at…” 

Please don’t let this be one of those dreams

The other man feigned innocence, his hand caressing the skin around Kayn’s waist, dipping in and out from underneath the fabric of his shirt. “Stop doing what, my dear,” his seductive voice resonating in his ears. 

No

These damn hands were going to be the end of him. “Your h-ands,” he choked out, feeling his traitorous cock begin to harden. 

This wasn't happening. They were friends!! He wasn’t attracted to him!

Rhaast slipped a hand between Kayn’s thighs, and without much resistance from the other man, spread them open. He ran his fingers along the tender skin and smiled at Kayn’s efforts to hide his cock. He moved deeper into his personal space, while his other hand snaked itself up his shirt, leaving a trail of fire on his skin. 

Kayn hitched a breath when he felt a finger brush his right nipple. As he tugged his shirt down to cover his now fully erect cock, Rhaast leaned down and whispered, “Tell me where you like it.”

He shuddered and tried to suppress a moan when he felt the Shuriman gently bite his ear. Rhaast kissed his way down to his neck while simultaneously exploring the Ionian’s chest with his hands. His fingers teased the sensitive nipples, drawing out soft groans from the other man. 

“Rhaass...plea-se,” he moaned. His shirt was damp with the pre-cum that had started leaking out, to which he desperately needed release. 

What was he asking for?

The Shuriman moved away from his neck and leaned in for a kiss, but this was where Kayn drew the line. He let go of his shirt and placed one of his hands on the other’s lips, creating a barrier between them. “You can’t,” he rasped. This was wrong; he shouldn’t be fantasizing about his friend in this way, but he couldn’t deny how good it felt to be touched. 

But Dream-Rhaast was not going to be deterred. He kissed the palm that was blocking access to Kayn’s lips, while his other hand made its way off Kayn’s thigh and onto the Ionian’s very erect cock. 

Kayn moaned as Rhaast slipped his hand up and down his shaft, his hand slick with his cum. The arm he was holding up began to lose its strength the faster Rhaast stroked. He so desperately wanted to give in to the pleasure the Shuriman was offering. It was just a dream after all, and the other man would never find out. 

It was just a dream. 

It was just a dream. 

During this moment, Rhaast took this moment to steal a kiss from Kayn’s unsuspecting lips. The second their lips met—

Kayn awoke with a startled gasp. Drops of sweat rolled down his face as he tried to shake off his grogginess. His hair was in a damp mess and the blanket had been kicked off the bed sometime during the night. A couple of things he noticed: First, it was super early. The sky was somewhat lit, but there was no sun in sight. Second, his crotch was wet as a result of reasons he’d rather not remember right now. And third: Rhaast’s strong arms were wrapped around his torso, rendering him trapped in the Shuriman’s embrace. 

This was the worst possible way to start off the day. 

To make matters worse, his stupid dick was still hard even after he creamed his pants. It’s been such a long time since he’s had a wet dream, he’d forgotten the embarrassment that came when he woke up. It’s even more mortifying when the person who appeared in his dream was sleeping soundly beside him. He could feel the rise and fall of Rhaast’s chest against his back, with the other man nuzzling his face into Kayn’s shoulders. 

Shame flooded his stomach, almost strong enough to kill his boner. He didn’t know what to do with himself, and what his dream meant for their so-called friendship.  

Friends don’t have lewd dreams about each other. 

Then, if not friends, what were they? What did he want them to be?

Behind him, Rhaast stirred a bit, reminding Kayn of the potentially embarrassing situation he would find himself in if the other man was to wake up. It felt strange being the small spoon for once, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It would probably be kinda nice if he had woke up any other day. He tried to wriggle out of the Shuriman’s arms, but Rhaast was clinging to him like he was the most comfortable pillow in Runeterra. 

How the hell did we end up in this position?

By now, the sky was a bit brighter and the sun was threatening to stream its rays into the room. He had an alarm set for 7:00 that he usually slept through, but since it had the potential to wake up the sleeping Shuriman, he had to dismiss it now. 

The only problem was he left his phone on the nightstand, which was a good stretch away from his current position. 

He sighed. 

Fuck it. 

By some miracle, Rhaast shifted slightly and loosened the hold on his torso, which gave him some wiggle room. Kayn gently lifted himself out of his arms and reached over to grab his phone while Rhaast’s hold slipped down to his waist. 

Kayn leaned against the headboard and let out a breath of relief.

Suddenly, the blaring tune of his 7:00 alarm began to scream in his hand. 

Fuck

He muttered a curse and quickly dismissed it, but his heart dropped when Rhaast groaned and rubbed his cheek against his waist. His muscles tensed slightly and he prayed the stench of his morning activities wasn’t too strong.

“What time is it?” Rhaast murmured, clearly still half asleep. 

If he played this right, there was still a chance he could slip out of here with minimal embarrassment. “7:00,” he answered back. “It’s still pretty early so you can go back to sleep.”

“Mmm….” He opened a sleepy eye and glanced at him, and to Kayn’s horror, slowly got up. He propped himself against the wall, yawned, and groggily looked around the room. 

Rhaast, it seemed, was not a morning person. Or maybe he was just really tired yesterday. But even though he just woke up, he could probably hit the runway without putting much effort into his appearance. To put it bluntly, he looked sex—

PLEASE!

THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO BE OGLING HIM!

“Kayn,” Rhaast yawned again, then shot him a mischievous smirk, “Why are you hard?”

 

 

Rhaast watched with great interest as Kayn delved into the different stages of his own mortification.

First, his cheeks instantly reddened as he tried to come up with an explanation. A babble of flustered excuses poured out of his mouth, but he was talking too fast for Rhaast to follow. But he was paying attention to what Kayn was saying either; his gaze focusing on how adorable the Ionian looked for having just woken up, with his messy hair and beautiful mark laid out for him to see. It seems as if he’d also forgotten to remove his contact, which was a pity because he’d been hoping those beautiful orbs would be the first thing to bless his eyes. 

At this point, Kayn had given up on words and was currently burying his face in his knees to avoid eye contact. 

Rhaast chuckled at the sight. He didn’t understand how the Ionian expected him to not notice, as it was the first scent that greeted his nose. He had half a mind to inquire what the man had dreamt about, but decided against it since he would probably feel a bit envious since it wasn’t about him. 

“Don’t be ashamed,” he reassured, “It’s not as if this is unnatural, or your first.”

He heard Kayn sigh after a brief moment of silence, and the other man dropped his legs in a huff.

“Dude, I haven’t had a proper wet dream since I was teenage,” he replied, while pressing a hand over his right eye, “This would have been fine if I was alone, but once again, you’re here to witness me make a fool out of myself, this time in my own home.” He laughed awkwardly to try and clear the air, but it was quite obvious he didn’t know what to do next. “So...I’m going to um...take care of this real quick...and you...stay here I guess.”

He started to move off the bed, but Rhaast grabbed his wrist to stop him. “I can assist you if you’d like”. He hoped his desire wasn’t expressed too eagerly, but being awoken to the smell of Kayn’s lust was the perfect way to begin any morning. 

Kayn, clearly caught off guard by his offer, flushed and shook his head violently. “N-no, it’s—I’m good!” he stammered, his nervous gaze cast towards the floor. 

He had to admit he was a bit disappointed, but could empathize with Kayn’s embarrassment. But even so, he wanted to see how far he could push the limits of the other man’s composure. He lifted Kayn’s hands to his mouth, feeling no resistance from him, and gently kissed the knuckles. “Are you sure?” He asked, then nibbled on one of his fingers. 

If he tears his hand away, I shall relinquish my advancements. 

But to his surprise, Kayn lifted his face to meet his, a mixture of uncertainty and lust imbued in his expression, without a hint of disgust. 

Oh? 

The kindlings of his hope had begun to burn as he pressed another kiss to Kayn’s fingers and then proceeded to suck on the tips. He didn’t miss the hitched breath that fell from the other’s lips, lips he so desperately wanted to claim. 

But that seemed to be a boundary he was barred from crossing, so instead, he released Kayn’s fingers and leaned into his ear to whisper again, “Are you absolutely sure, Kayn ?”

Kayn let out a haggard breath and squeezed his eyes shut. His blush had spread to the tips of his ears and it felt like an eternity before he murmured a barely audible “okay”. 

Rhaast felt his stomach tingle with excitement. It wasn’t a feeling he was accustomed to: to be excited yet anxious. This moment felt so fragile as if it could be disrupted at any second. In this space, he didn’t know what the laws were, with what he was and wasn’t allowed to do. Alcohol was not present this time around and their minds were free from its influence. Still, he wouldn’t want Kayn to look back upon this moment with regret. 

He positioned himself in between the Ionian’s legs to which Kayn responded by straightening against the headboard. He looked as nervous as Rhaast felt, reflexively toying with his hair while chewing on his lip. Rhaast chuckled at the sight. It would have been charming if he didn’t have the urge to do the same. 

He steeled his resolve and lifted a hand to tuck away the strands of hair that obstructed his view of that handsome face. Then he tentatively pressed his lips to Kayn’s neck and proceeded to mark the soft flesh, relishing in the precious moans Kayn was attempting to hide. The one’s he’d left earlier in the week had faded, so he took it upon himself to make more, just so for this moment, he could pretend Kayn was his. He was grateful the Ionian chose to wear a loose-fitting tee to sleep, which gave him access to the other’s magnificent collarbones. While he peppered kisses along his collarbones, he slipped a hand beneath Kayn’s waistband to grip his very erect cock.  

It felt hot in his grip, slicked with precum and flaunted erotic sounds as he stroked the shaft. Kayn’s soft groans resonated in his ears, forcing the memory of the night his cock was in his mouth, which made him shuddered. The lewd sounds were a stark difference from that night of passion, in which being silent was the furthest thing from intoxicated Kayn’s mind. 

He heard a small gasp when he tightened his grip around the crown, then smiled to himself. 

“Do you like it here?” He asked, giving the head a gentle squeeze. When Kayn shut his eyes out of embarrassment, he nudged the slit to garner a soft cry out of him. 

“D-don’t t-ease,” he panted, opening his eyes to shoot Rhaast a glare. But his blue orbs were already too far lost in his lust and only succeeded in making the Shuriman more aroused, a feeling he buried to deal with later. He didn’t want to mix his own pleasure with Kayn’s, in fear of him suddenly regretting his decision. 

Rhaast leaned in closer and resumed stroking the sensitive skin of Kayn’s crown while slipping his other hand under his shirt. He had an urge to tear the fabric off so he could lay eyes on the Ionian’s bare form, but Kayn would most definitely object. Instead, his fingers explored the muscular chest, lightly scraping against the sensitive skin. They sought out his nipples to toy with, pinching and tugging at the slowly hardening flesh. 

To his surprise, Kayn pulled himself towards him and nuzzled his cheek into his shoulder. The haggard breaths of the Ionian tickled his ear and sent shivers all the way down to his crotch. It seemed he was unintentionally trying to drown them both in his pleasure, but Rhaast couldn’t allow himself to be swept away.

His fingers ceased their exploration of Kayn’s chest and joined his other hand in milking his cock. “Rha-ast….pl-ease,” the Ionian begged. 

Rhaast heeded his request and sped up his strokes. He felt a prick where Kayn marked his neck, and a muffled moan as he shuddered and spilled hot cum all over his hands. 

Rhaast stiffened when Kayn leaned against his chest and let out a post-orgasm sigh. He didn’t mind that the Ionian was clinging to him, but he can’t say that he expected it. Just as he lifted his hand to toy with the long obsidian locks, the unexpected sound of Kayn’s phone blared an obnoxious tune and effectively destroyed their peaceful atmosphere. 

It jolted Kayn from his lustful state of mind and he sprang away from Rhaast as if he’d been burned. He didn’t manage to see his expression, but he felt his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach. 

It seems as if his worst fears were coming true. 

Without sparing him a glance, Kayn leaped off the bed and reached for his phone to turn off his alarm. His phone held his attention for a moment as he checked his notifications, then tossed it onto his desk and sighed. 

“So….” he slowly turned around, “Th-thanks for your help. It was...um...very effective.” His trademark grin was absent, but the flush on cheeks had not yet faded and he looked as if he wanted to flee from the room. 

Rhaast tried to contain his disappointment, but a small frown displayed itself on his lips. “My apologies,” he said, rubbing his temples. Kayn furrowed his brows in confusion to which he sighed, “It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable.” 

“Hey hey, pause there for a moment,” Kayn interjected, “Who said anything about me being uncomfortable?” He plopped back onto the bed and tapped a finger on the Shuriman’s left temple. “Sometimes, I feel like you jump to conclusions more than I do, and that’s saying a lot.” 

Even though Kayn wore his usual grin, Rhaast couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. “Are you certain?” He asked, despising the slight tremble in his voice, “Are you certain you won’t…you won’t come to regret this?” 

He watched the blue irises widen, and a flash of guilt crossed the Ionian’s expression, but it quickly disappeared and he gave him a reassuring grin. “Rhaast, I think I’m past the point of regret,” he chuckled, “You’re worrying over nothing.” He paused for a moment to give him a chance to reply, but the Shuriman stayed silent. “So, on that note, I need to get ready for class,” He stood up from the bed and made his way over to the dresser. “I’m going to take a quick shower, so I’ll be right back and we can...discuss your plans for the day I guess.” He grabbed his towel off the hanger, his bag of toiletries, and whatever clothes he fished out from his dresser, then hurried out of the room. 

Rhaast sighed and leaned back onto the headboard. He wiped his hands on the bedsheets and hoped the smell of their activities wouldn’t linger too long. Kayn was most certainly lying to him when he addressed his concerns. For what reason, he did not know. His hunger to know did nothing to relieve the turmoil lurking around his heart, but he already pushed boundaries further than he’d ever imagined. He had no desire to continue to test the other man’s patience, especially since it left him with more confusion. 

Would Kayn continue to push the agenda of friendship onto him? 

His heart clenched at the thought. He didn’t think he’d be able to accept it, not after this morning. Or maybe he didn’t want to accept it. Why would he settle for something as useless as friendship when there was a possibility they could be more? 

More? 

What do you mean by more?

An overwhelming desire to possess Kayn surged in his heart. It frightened him almost, but it didn’t stop him from relishing in his desire. 

Maybe his brother was right to be worried about his obsessive tendencies. But in his own defense, he’s never once felt the need to possess anything like this in his short 23 years of life. From the day his world fell apart, he’s learned better than to have meaningless desires. 

But Kayn was different. 

After so long, he could surely allow himself this one thing. This one person he could seek comfort in for as long as the Ionian himself would allow it. 

Why would I settle for the comfort of this friendship when there was a possibility I could make you mine?

 

 

A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door. 

Strange

He assumed Kayn had left the door unlocked, but maybe he’d forgotten. It was too early for someone to be visiting.

If he were at home, he’d definitely be still wrapped in his comforters. He’d never understand those who get up at the crack of dawn to prepare for class. 

Before he could knock again, Rhaast stood up from the bed and went to open the door. 

To his surprise, it was not Kayn who stood at the entrance, but another Ionian man. He was a bit shorter than himself and wore tight clothing that clung to his lean, yet muscular frame. He, too, had long obsidian locks that flowed freely down his back. His features were hard, with his expression twisted into that of annoyance, but upon noticing Rhaast, softened into curiosity. 

“And who might you be?” the man inquired, crossing his arms indignantly. He was gripping a bag that appeared to be filled with clothing. 

“Isn’t it courtesy to introduce oneself first?” He replied with an eyebrow raised. The man didn’t seem to be in the best mood, and was most likely one of Kayn’s friends. He was setting himself up to make a bad impression by being “rude” and scantily clad. 

The man frowned, clearly not finding his answer amusing. He sighed and prepared to respond back, but a shout drew his attention elsewhere. 

“Yone!” 

They both turned to look down the hall to see Kayn returning from the showers. He quickly made his way towards them and stood beside the man—Yone—before asking, “Why are you here this early?”

“Good morning Shieda,” Yone greeted Kayn by nodding his head in his direction, “My insolent brother hasn’t been answering his phone, so I wanted to drop by but”—he turned to frown at Rhaast again—“it seems you have company.”

Rhaast shrugged and leaned against the doorframe. It’s not like he was expected to know Kayn’s roommate had a brother, an overbearing one at that. 

“Um, this is Rhaast,” Kayn interrupted, “He’s a friend”—he tried not to grimace at the label he was given—“of mine who stayed for the night.” He chuckled nervously before adding, “I’m guessing Yas didn’t tell you, but he left last night to head to some music festival in Zaun…” 

Never in his years did Rhaast believe he’d see someone fume harder than his brother when he was grading papers. The veins on Yone’s face looked as if they were seconds away from imploding as the man did his best to calm himself. But his efforts were futile because his cheeks bloomed bright red on his pale skin. 

It was inappropriate, but he wanted to laugh at the sight. It seemed like Yasuo’s relationship with his brother was similar to his own. Yone would probably get along well with Aatrox, spending their days lamenting about how irksome their siblings were. He couldn’t resist smiling to himself at the thought.

He watched the man take deep breaths to compose himself, with poor Kayn awkwardly standing beside him, not knowing what to say. After a minute or so of silence, Yone clenched his fist and sighed. “I apologize for troubling you so early, Shieda. Thank you for looking after that foolish brother of mine.” He dipped his head curtly, then held the bag out in front of him. “A man named ‘Varus’ was standing outside and asked me to pass this along.”

Kayn raised an eyebrow and shot Rhaast a confused look, to which the Shuriman shrugged. The idea of Varus seeking his whereabouts hadn’t crossed his mind. But it’s not as if his cousin had to exert a great deal of effort because there were only so many places he could have slept. 

“Thanks. Could you pass that to Rhaast? My hands are full at the moment.”

Yone nodded before handing the bag to Rhaast. Their gazes met once more and the Ionian shot him a disapproving glare, then said his goodbyes to Kayn and went on his way. 

Kayn sighed and quickly gestured him back inside the room, closing the door quietly behind them. 

“Sorry about that,” he said quickly, “It’s not the first time Yas has taken off like that. Yone comes to check up on him every so often, but the visit always ends in some sort of argument.”

“Hmm...” 

While Kayn organized his shower supplies, Rhaast sat on the edge of the bed and dumped the contents of the bag onto the floor. It was indeed clean clothing, taken straight from his drawer as a matter of fact, along with his wallet and a note. He frowned and picked it up, wondering what his meddlesome cousin had planned this time around. 

I put $50 in your wallet that I would like to see returned by the end of the week. Otherwise, please come back soon so I don’t have to listen to your brother’s tantrums any longer. I really cannot tell if he is angry with you or just very worried. 

He scoffed at the message, crumpled the paper up, and tossed it into the small trash bin. Varus finally got a taste of what it felt like to be him. Even if Kayn evicted him today, home was the furthest place in mind he’d want to return to. 

Sorry cousin, but I’m going to leave you to suffer a bit more. 

He couldn’t be bothered to care about his brother’s turmoil at the moment when he still had his own feelings to process. 

“Rhaast?”

Kayn’s voice pulled him from his thoughts and shifted his attention to the other man, who looked at the pile of clothes with curiosity. 

“Yes?”

Kayn hung his towel on the hanger to dry as he asked, “Is Varus asking you to go back?”

He nodded slowly, to which Kayn replied with what sounded like a disappointed “oh”. But that could also be his wishful thinking. Silence hung between them as Kayn shuffled around his desk to get his supplies in order. 

Unease pricked its way into his heart. He wanted to ask if he could stay another night, but dreaded the possibility of Kayn objecting. For once, he held contempt for the silence that hung between him and another person and wished he was blessed with his cousin’s ability to speak whenever he liked. 

“Do you want to stay another night?”

The offer startled him, as he didn’t expect Kayn to break the silence in such a way. Kayn, sensing the surprise stemming from him, quickly added, “Only if you need to I mean. Cause it doesn’t seem like you got much time to sort your thoughts out.” 

Rhaast recovered from the initial surprise and gave the Ionian a small smile. “Thank you,” he replied, “I’ll be in your care once again.” 

Kayn returned the smile. “Don’t mention it.” 

The silence that fell between them was better this time around. Rhaast observed as Kayn went around his daily routine, milling about the room to get ready for class, something he should be doing as well. But the freedom he tasted yesterday was more addictive than he realized, so he didn’t intend on going to class today either. 

He watched Kayn perch himself in front of his mirror and dump his cosmetics onto the dresser before pulling his hair into a messy ponytail. 

So this is the process he takes to hide his beautiful face. Such a pity. 

Perhaps he could...

“ I hope I'm not overstepping, but if you feel confident enough...consider leaving out your contact,” he suggested, watching Kayn wince as he blinked in the mirror. He wondered why the other had forgotten to remove it the night before, but it was too late now.

Kayn entertained his idea for a moment. He gazed at his reflection with uncertainty but did not outright reject it as Rhaast assumed he would. Maybe his compliments and flattery had begun to take root.

“You know…” he brushed his thumb over the small scar on his eyelid and sighed, “It just feels uncomfortable, but it doesn’t hurt. I could just leave it in and carry on with my day…” He turned to look at Rhaast, but his expression had changed. The uncertainty was still there, but it was overshadowed by his newly surfaced confidence. “But then I would probably hate myself for being so cowardly.” He slipped out his contact and packed it away, and stared at himself in the mirror. He gave himself a half-smile and said, “Small steps are better than none,” then proceeded to splatter his liquids and powders onto his skin. 

The sight lit a tiny flame of pride within his heart. He didn’t realize he could experience such pleasure from helping others like this. Or maybe because it was Kayn. The Ionian had a lovable nature that made him want only the best for him. He tried to fight the upwards curl his lips tugged themselves in, but it got the better of him.

There he sat, smiling as Kayn made quick work of his mark, and within minutes, it had disappeared. As he made his final touch-ups, he asked, “Are you going to class today?”

“No.”

“Hmm...” He set his brushes down and packed them away. “Well, I’m going to head out then. I’ll leave you my keys so you can go out and grab food.” He took a moment to search his desk then upon finding his keys, tossed them to Rhaast. “Just be back around 6:00 cause I should be back around that time.” He grabbed his bag off the floor and before he left he added, “One more thing: could you..um...wash my bedsheets?” 

Rhaast chuckled at the request, which had Kayn slightly blushing. “I can.”

Kayn smiled, “Well, do you know how the washing machines work? Not saying you’re dumb, but rich people have their own thing going for them most times.”

“Yes, I know how to use the washers, Kayn,” he growled, “Wealth and incompetence are connected at times, but this is not one of those moments.”

Kayn laughed and held his hands up in apology. “There’s soap underneath the bed and the laundry room is on the first floor. There should be a sign, but if you need help, just ask someone.” With that, he opened and said, “I guess I’ll see you tonight,” and shut it behind him. 

And then there was silence. 

He should probably head to the showers, but in all honesty, he wanted to sleep some more. As he laid back down on the bed, the scent on the bed sheets reminded him of their morning activities. Mixed in was the soft smell of Kayn. 

It surrounded him like a cloud and stroked his arousal until it made a tent in his pants. He had pushed away his pleasure earlier to focus solely on Kayn’s, but now, it could no longer be ignored.

It was ill-mannered of him to want to masturbate in someone else’s bed, but the evidence would soon be washed away.

Rhaast sighed, but slipped a hand down his pants, and gave into temptation. 



Chapter 9

Notes:

I have returned from the dead. Sorry about that. I was procrastinating on several assignments that all had reasonable due dates, but my dumbass decided to do them the night before. :D

People who upload weekly are doing God's work

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kayn juggled the coins in his hand and slipped them into the vending machine one by one. He’d left in such a hurry that he forgot to grab his water bottle and something light to eat. The machine whirred to life and dispensed his items. He grunted as he bent down to retrieve them, then made his way into the classroom. 

Since he deliberately left early, there was no one here yet. He pulled out his phone as he made his way to his seat. The time read 8:20. 

He slumped in his seat and sighed, staring at the granola he dumped on the table in front of him. He didn’t have much of an appetite, which was pretty surprising because he didn’t eat much last night. There were just too many thoughts racing through his head at the moment, from his morning extracurriculars to the fact he actually managed to work up the nerve to step outside without his contacts. 

It felt like he was sitting in this room naked, but it felt more exhilarating than scary, like he wanted people to look at him. He wanted people to stare and he would observe their reactions. 

Maybe Rhaast would turn out to be right after all, that there was really nothing to fear. 

Speaking of the Shuriman, he had absolutely no idea what possessed him to give the okay for a handjob. Even now, his body trembled at the memory of those tan hands caressing every inch of his skin. It had felt so good to be touched like that, so much so that none of his past hookups could compare. 

When did his brain switch from seeing Rhaast as a friend to someone who made him feel like a horny teen?

He muttered a curse and twisted open his water bottle. 

The cold plastic helped draw his attention elsewhere, even though stupid dick threatened to pop another boner. Thankfully, he was smart enough to hide the evidence with a turtleneck he fished out from his dresser. 

He needed to figure his shit out before going back later. The guilt that surfaced when he was reassuring Rhaast still sat in his gut, waiting to be dealt with. There was no alcohol for him to blame this time, but he didn’t want things to be awkward between them since he tried so hard to push past that stage of their strange relationship. 

He sighed and downed his bottle until it reached about halfway and set it on the table. 

“I didn’t expect you to be early today.”

Zed’s sudden voice forced a soft yelp from his mouth. He whipped his attention to his friend, who now took the opportunity to sit beside him. The other man shot him a curious look. “Did you not hear me walk in?” His eyes lingered on his face for a minute before moving on. 

Kayn shook his head. “I have a sneaking suspicion you were a ninja in your past life,” he snickered. The urge to ask if Zed noticed his eyes churn in his stomach. Even though he was making a huge deal out of it, it was such a small detail. Being both relieved yet disappointed, since this was Zed, he probably wasn’t going to show much of a reaction. Sometimes, his friend minded his own business a little too much for his liking. 

“Or maybe you were too wrapped up in your thoughts to notice me walk in.”

“That too,” Kayn agreed, “But I’m pretty confident about the ninja thing. It’s not the first time you’ve managed to sneak up on me.” 

Zed didn’t respond to his comment and took the chance to take out his laptop along with whatever papers they needed for the class that morning. 

It didn’t seem like he was going to continue their banter, but Kayn wasn’t ready to sit in silence yet. If he wasn’t going to bring up his eye, then maybe he could get some advice on whatever budding relationship he had with the Shuriman camping out in his room. “Can I ask—”

“What happened to your eye?” Zed interrupted softly. He drew his gaze back to Kayn’s face, but this time outrightly stared at it. 

Kayn stiffened under his gaze. This was what he wanted a few moments ago, but now that he was under Zed’s scrutiny, his stomach clenched in panic. He realized he never planned out how he would respond. “I…”

To his surprise, concern coated Zed’s expression as he asked, “Did you get in a fight?” He paused to gauge Kayn’s reaction, then added on upon seeing his eyes widen, “Was it him? The one from yesterday?” His tone had darkened a bit and his hands that rested on the table curled into fists. 

It took a moment for Kayn to realize he was referring to Rhaast. 

Oh

He shook his head frantically as a smile stretched on his lips. Zed’s concern was unexpected, but it warmed his heart regardless. “No no,” he chuckled, relief filling him as the tension left Zed’s face. “This was something I got as a kid. It’s been a chip on my shoulder for most of my life, so I thought I’d finally do something about it.” He froze for a moment as unease crept into his smile. “It...it doesn’t bother you does it?” He asked tentatively. 

It felt like an eternity before Zed replied. “I don’t see why it would.” He shrugged and continued, “Compared to some of the crazy shit I’ve witnessed prancing around campus, your mismatched eyes are pretty tame.” 

Kayn let out a breath of relief. He knew Zed would be understanding, but it was nice to hear the other say it. “I know, but it’s hard to shake off old habits….Thank you.”

Zed shrugged again, most likely because he didn’t know what Kayn was thanking him for. But he went back to his usual silence and this time, Kayn followed. The anxiety that settled in his stomach from earlier today was slowly driven away by Zed’s reassurance. His need for advice could be saved for later. Hunger took its spot instead and reminded him of the unopened granola bar he bought earlier. He grabbed it off the table and ripped the packaging open, then took a bite. 

As he ate, students slowly piled into the classroom, but the class wasn’t due to start for another 15 minutes. He quickly gobbled down his breakfast and pulled out his laptop to continue working on his project.

 

 

“Class dismissed!” Professor Heimerdinger announced. 

Loud shuffling ensued throughout the room as the students began to pack up their supplies and leave. 

Kayn shoved his laptop into his bag, then looked at his friend who looked like he was already done. “Ready?” He asked, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he stood up. 

“You can go ahead without me. I’ll be eating with Shen today.”

“Ooo?” Kayn shot him a suggestive smirk, “Someone’s got a hot date?”

Zed glared at him before standing up. “It’s just lunch—”

“Yes, I too, have meals with people I’m sleeping with,” he quipped. 

Zed flushed in response but didn’t attempt to argue with him. He sighed and waved his arm in goodbye, then left the room. 

 

 

Kayn saw Syndra wave to him as he approached their table. She was lounging there with a half-eaten sandwich and cup of coffee waiting for him. “Where’s Zed?” She asked, opening her bag and dropping a container on the table. 

Kayn pulled out one of the chairs and sat down next to her. Up until now, he’s never really been alone with Syndra and he had to admit, it made him a bit nervous. With Zed gone, her presence felt a bit intimidating, something he never really noticed before. 

“He has a hot lunch date with his not-boyfriend,” he replied, dumping his bag on the ground. 

Syndra made a noise as she tossed him a fork. “That’s news to me. Could have let me know in advance so I didn’t bring his portion.” 

Kayn opened the container and was hit with the mouthwatering aroma of mac and cheese. His stomach grumbled and begged him to shove a forkful of savory substance into his mouth. He unwrapped the disposable fork and dug in. “It was probably a last-minute thing,” he munched, then scooped another forkful in, “He was staring at his phone a lot during class.”

“Is that so…”

Kayn felt her eyes on him as he ate. They sat in silence for a few minutes before she asked, “Well, what about you? Still hooking up with my professor’s brother?”

Kayn choked on his next bite and spent the next few seconds in a coughing fit. He felt Syndra pat his back and he gave her a face. 

“What?” Her cunning smile glanced back at him, “You knew I was going to ask. Stop acting so surprised.” 

“You could have waited till after I was done eating,” he shot back, then reached into his bag to grab his bottle. 

As he drank, she laughed and said, “True. But I wanted to judge your reaction.” 

Kayn finished the last of the water and capped the bottle. There were only a few bites of mac and cheese so he quickly wolfed the rest of it down, thanking Syndra for the food. “So,” he asked while he wiped his mouth, “What did my reaction tell you?”

Syndra propped her head on her hands and stared at him. Her purple gaze searched him for something as if she was uncovering secrets that even he didn’t know existed. “It told me,” she smirked, “there’s something on your mind.” She laughed again as Kayn widened his eyes in surprise. “Did I guess right?” She took a sip of her coffee, her eyes never leaving his face. 

It unnerved him to be read in such a way, but he couldn’t help but nod. Syndra’s uncanny ability to read others always fascinated him but it wasn’t as charming when he was the one under the magnifying glass. “Why are you so good at that?” He wondered before he could stop himself. He hoped this wasn’t related to her touchy past, but it's a question that’s been bothering him for a while. 

“Kayn, my friend,” she lifted a hand to pat his cheek, “Have you ever considered maybe you’re just an easy read?” 

He shrugged in response. “I know I’m an easy read. But you do the same with Zed and probably other people, so what’s your excuse there?”

She sighed. “In the years I’ve known Zed, he’s become a book I’ve read countless times. Although now….” She trailed off, lost in her thoughts before continuing. “Well, we'll see. As for everyone else…” She paused for a moment, her smile faltering a bit. “You see, as a child, I was always the center of attention. The elders always praised me for my skills, grades, whatever other meaningless thing they liked acknowledging. But the minute I did something they didn’t approve of, they were there to punish me. So, I spent my childhood tip-toeing around others, making sure I kept myself in check so I wouldn’t anger any of those old fools.” 

She was still smiling, but the hand that rested on his cheek trembled, whether, in sadness or anger, he couldn’t tell. Zed was right to warn him about this. He felt incredibly guilty for making Syndra remember unpleasant things. He thought he’d never have something in common with someone so privileged in ways he was not, but it seems like he was wrong. 

“But anyway,” she said quickly, dropping her hand back onto the table, “We’re not here to talk about me. Tell me what’s happening between you and the Darkin.” 

Kayn still felt uneasy about changing the topic so fast, but Syndra’s expression had returned to its usual playful self. He hesitated for a moment before shaking off his worries. If Syndra wanted to talk about it more, she would have continued talking. “Nothing is happening,” he muttered, just now realizing this would be pretty embarrassing to discuss. There weren’t any labels to define their relationship with at the moment, especially after this morning. “Hookup” didn’t seem to fit. 

Yes, him giving you a handjob signals to you that nothing is going. 

“If that’s the case, why are you blushing right now?” 

Shit

“I’m not—!” He instinctively covered his face with one hand, only to further prove Syndra’s point. He groaned and muttered another curse. 

She chuckled and took another sip of her coffee, but didn’t press for more. The air was silent for a minute as she patiently waited for him to continue at his own pace. 

Kayn sighed and dropped his hand. He was almost certain his cheeks were still flushed, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that at the moment. “Fine,” he admitted, “We….we’re not dating or anything like that. Yesterday, we talked for a bit and he told me he’s having some problems at home, so I invited him to crash in my dorm for the night….” he paused after seeing Syndra’s eyes widen in surprise, but she didn’t comment. Now that this was up in the air, he realized how reckless his actions were. Rhaast, as nice as he was, was more or less a stranger to him. Aside from the fact he was a law student, he hardly knew anything about the Shuriman. He set aside his worries for later, creating a mental note to try and get to know the other man a little better when he went back in the evening. “Ok, I understand now that was pretty stupid of me, but it’s a little late for that. So um, yeah...nothing out of the ordinary happened last night…and this morning…….” There was an awkward silence, but he was minutes away from having his head explode in embarrassment. 

“This morning…?” 

Kayn did his best not to stutter, but recalling the events made his face feel hot. “Iwokeupwithanerectionandhegavemeahandjob!” he choked out with a little more force than he intended. Behind him, a few giggles came from students who walked by that very instant, which made him want to crawl into a hole and hide.

Syndra couldn’t contain herself as she burst into laughter while watching him bury his hands into his face. He was glad Zed wasn’t here right now or else the humiliation he felt would be multiplied. In hindsight, if he had heard this from someone else, it would have been pretty funny, which is why he could excuse Syndra’s laughing this time. She reached over to pat his head and said, “Aww, poor child—” she laughed harder when Kayn glared at her through his hands “—okay, I’ll stop teasing you.” She stared at him for a moment, then unexpectedly asked, “Can I braid your hair?”

It was a strange request since it had nothing to do with their conversation, but Kayn agreed nonetheless. “Is this your way of apologizing?” he frowned. He positioned himself with his back facing her, then pulled his hair-tie out and shook his ponytail loose. Syndra’s fingers combed through his hard and it felt oddly soothing, like an older sister or mother pampering him. 

“Maybe.” She untangled his long messy locks as gently as she could, making sure to loosen the knots. “So, you two had some fun this morning. Not to sound like a shrink, but how does that make you feel?” Her tone was serious, but Kayn knew she was trying her best not to burst into laughter behind him. 

With each comb of her fingers, he relaxed into her touch and his tension slowly eased away. “I….I don’t know,” he replied softly. It was obvious that he was sexually attracted to Rhaast; either that or super pent up. Everything else, much like the man himself, was kind of a mystery. But he enjoyed the handjob regardless. Maybe he was just weak to pleasure?

“Then ask yourself this: do you regret hooking up with him again? Sober nonetheless?”

Did he regret it?

“Not really….?” His tone was uncertain, but the only thing he truly regretted at the moment was leaving as quickly as he did. Actions like that tend to cause a lot of misunderstandings and he didn’t want to hurt the guy he just barely managed to befriend. 

He heard Syndra huff angrily behind. “If you don’t have any regrets then what are you uncertain about?” 

He opened his mouth to reply with another, “I don’t know”, but stopped himself. Because he did know. Or at least had an idea. He knew he liked being in Shuriman’s presence. Rhaast….Rhaast was just someone he appreciated a lot. It didn’t help that everything that left the other man’s mouth was either praise or something suggestive. It made him feel....wanted. He never realized how much he enjoyed that feeling. “I….I’m just worried it could be something more and I….won’t know what to do if this goes beyond physical attraction.”

“Oh Kayn,” he could hear the excitement in her voice, “It sounds like it’s already too late for that.” She weaved the last part of his braid and extended her hand over his shoulder to ask for his hair tie. He placed it in her hand and she placed the finishing touches on his hair. “Turn around,” she ordered. 

When Kayn met her gaze again, he was greeted by her usual smile. She reached over and tucked some loose strands behind his ears, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “We’re only given this one life, my friend,” she cupped his cheeks and pinched one of them playfully, “Might as well explore whatever you’re being offered at the moment so you don’t have to deal with regret later on. Life is too short to hide behind all your uncertainties.” She let go of his cheek and brushed a thumb over the skin where his birthmark was hidden. 

Kayn froze. 

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “You knew—”

She brought her other finger to his lips and shushed him. “I know nothing, so you don’t have to panic. But if you ever want to talk, my door is always open.” 

Her expression was no longer playful, but it still held a smile, except now, it was gentle instead of cheeky. He wanted to know how she found out, but if he did that, he’d feel compelled to explain how he ended up like this. As understanding as Syndra was, he wasn’t ready for that yet. 

But she had seen his mismatched eyes, and like Zed, accepted him nonetheless. Nothing had changed for either of them. The day where he’d no longer have to hide was probably closer than he realized, and for that, he was grateful to the both of them. 

And Rhaast. Rhaast who had accepted him since the very beginning and had nothing but cheered him on. 

“I....I’m really glad I met you and Zed.” Her hand was still in his grasp and he squeezed it gently. “And whatever you said about just going for it, I don’t know if I’m up for that. But I don’t want to have many regrets when I look back on these moments, so I have to figure that out for myself.” 

Syndra squeezed his hand back. “Do what you think is best, Kayn.” 

 

 

Kayn raised his arms above his head and pulled himself into a stretch. He’d been sitting in this chair for what felt like ages, but it paid off because he finally managed to finish his project. Surprisingly, he had enough self-control to not open a new tab every 10 minutes to watch Youtube videos. After barely proofreading his lab report, he sent it to Zed with a “thank you :D” in the subject row. Briefly glancing at the time, he decided it was time to head back and quickly stuffed his materials into his bag. 

The sky had darkened considerably when he left the library. Syndra had kept him company for an hour so after they left the cafeteria, but her boredom got the better of her and she left to go shopping. 

As he walked along the main campus road, recollections of today streamed into his thoughts. The anxiety he had this morning had gradually disappeared, and truth be told, he almost forgot he wasn’t wearing his contacts. People didn’t treat him any differently but to be honest, he wasn’t sure how he was expecting them to react. Did he want them to shun him to prove some kind of point? What good would that do him? 

He let out a long sigh. After being the outcast for most of his life, getting rid of this mindset was going to be a pain. But he was one step closer to feeling like he didn’t need to hide anymore. And he had Rhaast to thank for that. 

Speaking of Rhaast…

He didn’t come up with any ideas on how to face him without getting embarrassed. The talk with Syndra had brought up some new….opinions and he wasn’t sure how to deal with them. 

Do you like him? 

Probably? In what context, he was unsure. They were friends and could say that with some level of confidence. He definitely liked him as a friend; the guy was really interesting. He was almost like Zed, but more patient. But he didn’t have wet dreams of Zed—the thought of that making him gag—but Rhaast….

Do you want to be more than friends?

Did he? 

The question rolled around in his thoughts, but an answer never came. His attraction to the Shuriman was undeniable, as much as he wanted to deny it. But what about everything else? What made him different from all the others he’d hooked up? 

He grumbled under his breath. There seem to be more questions he had for himself than answers.

By now, he reached his building. His feet were more or less on autopilot as they brought him up the stairs and into his hallway. Before he knew it, he was at his door, mildly panicking with still no answers in hand. 

He took a deep breath and knocked. 

Without wasting a minute, the door was pulled open and Rhaast appeared in front of him. His red hair was damp and the soft smell of soap surrounded his body. Much to Kayn’s (unexpected) disappointment, the Shuriman was properly dressed today, wearing the clothes Kayn had borrowed the other day. 

“I’m back,” Kayn greeted. Their eyes met for a brief moment and he shot the other man a grin. His chat with Syndra had cleared his head a bit, but along the way, he managed to confuse his stupid heart a little more, leaving his brain to figure out the best way to proceed. 

“Welcome back.” Rhaast stepped aside to allow him to enter the room. 

Kayn took off his shoes and dropped his bag beside his desk as Rhaast shut the door behind him. For some reason, his room felt different. 

It was….tidy. 

He glanced at his desk and noticed the papers were no longer in a scattered mess. His books were neatly lined up and the dirty laundry was sitting in the hamper for once instead of lying on the floor. The same could not be said for his roommate’s side of the room: as disastrous as Yasuo left it. 

Chuckling, Kayn furrowed his brows in disbelief and asked, “Did you clean my room?”

Rhaast stiffened as if he’d been caught committing a crime. “My apologies,” he answered, “Boredom was eating at me so I did it on whim. I realize now it was a bit intrusive on my part.”

“Wait wait, I’m not upset. Just didn’t expect it that’s all. You’re more than welcome to poke around in my room, especially if you’re going to clean up after my messy ass,” he joked. Now he was a bit embarrassed that Rhaast felt the need to clean his room to stay occupied. After all, who would voluntarily clean a room for fun? 

He decided he might as well hit the showers now before settling in. “Have you eaten yet?” He grabbed his shower supplies as Rhaast nodded. Disappointment snuck its way into his head again, but he shoved it aside. He had hoped to show the Shuriman more of his broke college student meal options, but it seems that would have to wait until tomorrow since he also ate before coming back. “Great. I’m gonna head to the showers.” 

Rhaast didn’t reply and instead walked over to Kayn’s bed, then took a seat. He picked up an open book and resumed reading as Kayn left the room. 

 

 

Rhaast was still reading when he came back. Kayn locked the door behind him and started to put away his shower supplies. While in the bathroom, he tried to come up with things to talk about with the other man, but it all felt so forced. There was no reason to push someone into talking when they didn’t feel up to it. Although, he did want to know more about why Rhaast was avoiding his home. The last thing he wanted was his older brother showing up and accusing him of being a bad influence. 

He snuck a glance at the man who sat silently on his bed. He looked pretty engrossed in the book he was reading, so Kayn decided to just let him be. Since he was free, might as well do some work now so he didn’t have to procrastinate later on. 

He dug his laptop out of his bag and took a seat on his chair. He refreshed his assignments portal to see what was due in the next week or so, and clicked on the one due Monday. It wasn’t a difficult task, but he couldn’t find the motivation to start it. The last of his energy was spent finishing his project earlier, and now all he wanted to do was relax. 

He leaned back in his chair and cast his gaze to the ceiling. His thoughts wandered back to what Syndra said at the cafeteria earlier. 

Do what you think is best

What he thought was best…

What did that even mean? As long as he’s known himself, he didn’t have the best track record for making great decisions. This was true in most aspects of his life, including his relationships. 

Did he want a relationship? With Rhaast? 

He was pretty sure he wasn’t gay. He wasn’t sure if Rhaast was either. But why did that matter? It’s not like Ionians are homophobic. And even if they were, why should their opinions matter? The only opinion that mattered was his own, and probably Rhaast’s. 

Rhaast, with all his pretty compliments and praises, didn’t make intentions known. Did he want to date him? 

The thought of dating someone felt foreign to him. He could never understand the passion of loving someone so much that they’d only belong to you. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the right person. Up until now, he’s only had hookups and they never expressed interest in wanting a relationship with him…

“The ceiling will start to burn if you stare at it any longer.” 

Startled, Kayn fixed his posture and turned his attention to Rhaast. The other man wasn’t looking at him, his eyes still glued to the pages. Kayn grinned. “You teased me yesterday about the staring, but look who’s staring now?” 

Rhaast didn’t reply, but a small smile snuck onto his lips as he turned another page. Kayn sighed. “I’m bored,” he announced to no one in particular. He was itching to talk to someone about the thoughts rolling around in his head. But he couldn’t call Syndra with Rhaast in the room. They couldn’t even be sneaky about it since they didn’t speak the same dialect. 

“Do you not have assignments to complete?” 

“I do, but I’m not in the mood to do them right now.” 

Rhaast snapped his book shut and finally met his gaze. “Then what are you in the mood to do?” His red orbs twinkled mischievously and Kayn couldn’t help but flush. 

“Okay that’s not what I meant and you know it.” 

Rhaast shrugged and said, “I do not know what you’re referring to. My mind has been rotting away since I’ve stopped going to class.” 

“Like anyone will believe that,” he laughed. “Speaking of class, any plans to go back home or…?”

The smile fell from Rhaast’s face. “If you want me to leave, you can say so freely. I will not hold it against you.”

“Don’t jump to conclusions you...dumbhead—” Rhaast snorted at his attempt at a friendly insult “—as your friend, I’m worried. It’s only been like a day but I get the sense you’re the type to sit on problems instead of finding ways to actively solve them.” Rhaast didn’t respond, which confirmed his suspicions. After a moment of silence, Kayn continued, “Personally, I like to talk things out. And you probably don’t. But if you want to, I’m a pretty good listener and promise not to judge.” 

Rhaast stared at him. He stared at him for what felt like an eternity without a single sound leaving his blank expression. After that eternity had gone by, he sighed. “Come,” he said and patted the space beside him, “Let’s have a chat.” 

 

 

Rhaast watched Kayn get up from his chair and make his way over to the bed. He kicked off his slippers and crawled beside him, shifting into a cross-legged position. It felt nice to have him near. After the events of this morning, he feared the Ionian was keeping his distance, but Kayn didn’t look too apprehensive about his request.

Heat radiated off the other’s shoulder as they sat in silence for a few moments. He tried to ignore looking at the marks he left on the Ionian’s pale flesh since they had other issues to work on at the moment. Unfortunately, he was reluctant to admit it, but Kayn was right; since he’d left the manor, not once did the argument cross his mind. Did he plan to mope around until the roommate returned? 

Perhaps. 

The flaw in his plan was now clearly visible, drawing a deep sigh from his lips. “It’s not that I don’t prefer to talk out my dilemmas, but rather I never felt the need,” he started. “As you may already know, I don’t surround myself with many companions.” 

Kayn shrugged. “That’s not a big deal. It’s okay to enjoy your own company,” he said softly. He nudged his shoulder gently against Rhaast’s. “Besides you have me now. As your sole “companion”, feel free to pour your heart out. Or rant cause that works too.” 

Rhaast chuckled at the other’s response. “Since you requested so kindly, I’ll indulge.” Even though he said it jokingly, there was a part of him that wanted to share himself with Kayn. He was afraid before and did not want the Ionian to see the fragile bits of him, but now, that fear seemed to have dissipated. As Kayn bared his past to him earlier, wearing a brave face, he felt compelled—no, he wanted to do the same. 

“If you recall, I told you I had an argument with my brother.” He watched Kayn nod. “You see, my brother and I...we don’t have the greatest relationship. I feel as if nothing I do is ever good enough for him. But to be fair, I don’t put effort into my work, which is more the fault of mine than his.” If Aatrox was not so adamant about upholding the family tradition and just allowed him to study whatever interests, perhaps his work ethic would be better. “After you left the other, he asked me about you; inquired about our relationship. I didn’t understand why he’d suddenly taken an interest considering he’s never done so before, so I asked him why and he got upset as usual. He yelled some things about me that now that I look back on it, may be true...but it still hurts to hear him say them. I….I, fueled by my anger, yelled some things back that I deeply regret.” He truly was apologetic for the words he said that day that this frustrated him to no avail. He was the one who was wronged in that exchange, not his brother. The one chance he was given to express how he truly felt and he was left with nothing but regrets. “He views me as nothing more than a helpless child, too naive for my own good. Always going on about listening to him and upholding family values. But he himself is a hypocrite, sleeping with the baker. What company he keeps is none of my concern but I wish he’d let go of his pride, his anger, and just let himself be. I’m just….I’m just tired of it all.” He didn’t realize he was panting, left breathless with his rage-fueled words. It’s been a while since he’s spoken that much and once again, it was due to anger. He balled his hands in fists and suppressed a strangled cry. 

“Sounds like you love your brother a lot,” Kayn murmured. 

Rhaast let out a frustrated sigh. “I cannot hate him, not after all he’s done for me. Not after what we’ve lived through.” They were never close growing up, Aatrox and him, but he knew his brother would be devastated if anything were to happen to him. This is why he chose to take off where Aatrox couldn’t locate him, a choice that filled him with shame. “He has a lot of anger and does not know what to do with it.”

“Why?” 

“For the same reason you hide behind your cosmetics and the same reason why I am my own companion.” His past had its place in the history textbooks, which is why he never bothered to reflect on it. He didn’t want it to consume him in the way it did to his brother. But then again, his brother had faced the worst of what mankind had to offer while he and Varus were spared from the brunt of it. 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.” Kayn placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Rhaast fought the urge to grasp them within his own. 

“No...I’ve made my peace with it. It just hasn’t meddled with my thoughts in a very long time.” The hand on his shoulder, however, was a distraction. It felt heavy, weighing down his shoulder, and the desire to hold it grew stronger. 

Screw it 

He lifted his hands slowly and pulled Kayn’s hand into his own. The Ionian made a noise in surprise, but he didn’t pull away. 

Kayn’s hand served as his anchor to ensure he didn’t get too lost reminiscing. While he toyed with the long slender fingers, the memories he claimed to make peace with poured into his mind. Even now, the screams of his people rang in his ears as he was smuggled out of the capital as a child. The stench of blood was so thick in the air as more civilians were cut down—he shuddered. How despairing that the few memories he had of his home were filled with bloodshed and violence. “How much do you know about the civil war in Shurima?” 

He felt Kayn shuffle beside him. “Not much? It was on the news a few years back. From what I remember, a lot of people were upset at the emperor for ruining the economy?” 

He wasn’t that far off the mark. “It’s hard to place all the blame on Emperor Azir since the previous emperor did not leave him much to work with, but yes. The country was in ruins and the people were angry. My family….we come from a long line of royal advisors, and my parents tried their best to solve the crisis, but the damage was too great. Too many of my people lived in poverty, but the Emperor refused to seek aid from neighboring countries. When the war broke out, my parents sent the four of us out of the country as a means of protection.” That was the last time he saw them alive. 

His parents. 

He could hardly remember their faces. Even when they were alive, they were hardly ever home, but they still made an effort to visit him whenever they had time. He had fond memories of his father holding him tightly until he fell asleep. His mother always complained his father coddled him too often. But whenever she came home, she always brought him a book that they’d read a bit of together before she had to return to her duties. He thought it was amusing that Aatrox seemed to have grown up to be a copy of his mother, stern, angry instead of cold, but still caring in their own way.  

“The four?” 

The four.  

Oh, Valeeva. Wherever you are, I hope you are alive and well.

“My brother and I, and Varus and his sister. To this day, we do not know where she is, as she was separated from the rest of us before we reached Ionia. Varus was grief-stricken and fell ill for a while.” He knew not a day went by that he didn’t think of her. After he’d graduated, Varus had gone back to Shurima to search for her but returned as lost as he had left. “My brother, he was only 18, barely an adult himself at the time, but he tried his best to care for the both of us. But shortly after we landed, they called him back to help deal with the situation. I realized as I grew older, it was because my parents had been killed in the uprising.” 

Kayn sucked in a breath. It made Rhaast feel a bit guilty. He hadn’t thought about how others would view his past, but as he retold it, it was a lot more morbid than he remembered. 

“I’m sorry,” Kayn whispered. He squeezed Rhaast’s hand in consolation and he squeezed back in response. 

“Do not apologize,” he said. He didn’t want to be pitied, not by Kayn. “It happened a long time ago, and I’m not bothered by it.” Although he did wonder how his life would be different if his parents had still been alive. Would he be different? Would Aatrox still be consumed in his anger? 

Would Valeeva still be with them today? 

“Aatrox left me in the care of Ionian monks and he returned to Shurima. I wouldn’t see him for another 2 years. A few months later, the monks had to move me to a more secure spot and I was separated from Varus. He was sent to a remote island to recover while I traveled around the continent.” He looked back fondly on those times. Because if he didn’t, then his childhood would have been filled with nothing but misery. All those nights he slept alone, with the monks watching over him from a distance. They kept him at arm's length and he viewed them as nothing more than guides.

Kayn was silent for a while. It was strange to not hear his comments, but Rhaast couldn’t blame him. He probably did not expect to hear his tragic history as a part of tonight’s agenda. 

“You know,” he finally said, “I get that you guys have had a tough life, but it doesn’t give him an excuse to treat you like shit.” His brows furrowed in fury. “He acts like you also didn’t lose your parents that day, and had your whole world torn apart. It wasn’t just him who suffered.” 

Rhaast frowned a bit, even though he was delighted to see Kayn leap to his defense. “I did suffer, just not as much as—” 

“Suffering isn’t a contest!” He cried. His body shook with anger, or maybe sadness, Rhaast couldn’t tell. “You should be allowed to grieve the same people without others telling you to hold back for the ones who lost the most!” He gritted his teeth and muttered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice.” 

“It’s alright.” After a short pause, he continued, “I didn’t expect you to get upset on my behalf.”

“I don’t get mad easily so it must mean you’re special,” he joked. “On another note, I kind of get why your brother is so overprotective. You’re all he has left and I guess he’s trying to protect you in his own overbearing way. It doesn’t justify his treatment of you, but it does explain it a bit.” 

Rhaast turned his gaze to the Ionian’s face, who looked back at him with an endearing expression. Kayn brushed his fingers over Rhaast’s knuckles and gave him a small smile. “You’re hurt by the things he said, and no doubt so has he. But it sounds like you’ve been hurting for a long time now, and it doesn’t seem like your brother knows. If I were you, I would tell him how I really felt. Announce all the hurt, the pain, the love that’s built up over the years and go from there.” 

Rhaast didn’t respond. 

Why

He didn’t know how to respond to the radiant light that was Shieda Kayn. Kayn who heard all of his past and isn’t afraid of how damaged he is. 

Why did Kayn always make him feel like he could do no wrong with just a mere look?

It felt as if Kayn knew him better than he knew himself, but strangely…he didn’t seem to mind. He appreciated the time he took to hear him out, and not once did Kayn judge him for his words or actions. His arms shook as let go of Kayn’s hand and pulled the other man into his lap, drawing him into a tight embrace. 

Kayn back leaned against his chest, but the other man made no indication he was uncomfortable. Rhaast so desperately wanted to see his face, but was thankful to have Kayn’s gaze on the door instead of him. He didn’t want the man to see the quiet tears that slipped down his cheeks as he pressed his face into the crook of Kayn’s neck to muffle his sobs. 

This was dangerous. He was getting more and more attached to this man.

And I have no desire to let you go. 

 

 

Kayn let out a soft huff as he lifted the trash bag into the dumpster. He went back inside the bakery and locked the back door behind him. All that was left to do was check the register. 

As he counted the money, his thoughts wandered back to last night. The conversation he had with Rhaast was heavy in ways he didn’t expect. He had fallen asleep without realizing it, and when he woke up this morning, Rhaast was gone. 

“Went for a run” was written on a slip of paper and left on his desk. It made him wonder if the Shuriman was avoiding him, but he couldn’t think of a reason why. 

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the bell announce a new customer. A figure stepped in front of the counter and cleared his throat. 

He must have forgotten to flip the sign again. “I’m sorry, we’re closed for today—” Kayn said before looking up. 

The man who stood in front of him was none other than Rhaast’s brother.

“I’m not here to buy pastries, child,” Aatrox scowled. “Let’s have a talk.” 


Notes:

Man I hate cliffhangers

Notes:

Hello again. As you can see, I'm terrible with summaries and titles so please forgive me. But if you're reading this, then you still clicked it anyway :D. I felt I did Kayn dirty in my previous work, so I thought why not give him someone too? Anyways, thank you for reading and feel free to comment or whatever.