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Every Time I Turn Around, You Disappear

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1. Hat


The first time was actually kind of intentional.


The pair were relaxing on the couch watching television with the deceitful side’s head in the moral one’s lap.


Patton took the other’s hat and placed it on his own head. Before Janus could complain, it was quickly replaced with fingers gently running through his hair. He melted into the sensation, nearly falling asleep, until he heard the obvious sound of approaching footsteps.


“Patton,” he breathed, “give me back my hat.”


The other side hummed apprehensively. “I don’t think so,” he responded.


Deceit turned deadly serious, staring him down. “Patton Morality Sanders,” he whispered harshly, “give me my hat back this instant!”


The blue hued side smirked as he leaned down and kissed the other’s nose. “Nope.”


Janus caught a glimpse of purple and black, knowing time was up. He left with a sigh and without his hat.

Virgil was presented with one of the strangest sights when he was going into the kitchen. Patton was sitting on the couch in one of Janus’s bowler hats and giggling to himself. “Hey popstar, what’cha got there?”


“Oh hey kiddo! You mean this neatto hat?” 


Virge nodded in response.


“I just found it sitting here on the couch and wanted to try it on. How do I look? I think I’m just brimming with style!”


Virgil smirked and agreed before heading back to the kitchen to grab some food. 


After a minute though, he remembered that Janus never takes his hat off and would certainly never just leave it laying around on the couch.


He turns around to question Patton more about it, but he’s already gone.

Janus is pacing his room when he hears a knock on his door. Thankfully, it’s the one person he was hoping and not the two people he was dreading. “What took you so long?” he asks.

“Well, I had to make sure the gloomy goober wouldn’t be suspicious or follow me,” Patton replies.


The deceitful side nods knowing full well why, just wanting to make sure nothing bad happened to his boyfriend without seeming too worried. Then, he sticks out a hand. “Now, it’s totally not like you have my hat or anything. I’d like it back.”


Pat takes a minute to think about it, and, no, the face is definitely not adorable. Before responding with a resounding, “No.”


Now, Janus was definitely not pouting, but he asked, “Why not?”


Morality giggled before leaning in close. “Because you didn’t say please, silly!”


“Oh,” the other side articulated, trying to calm a raging blush, “May I please have my hat back?”


Patton transfers the hat from his head to Janus’s before giving him a feather light kiss. As he pulls back with a smile, he breathes, “All you had to do was ask.”


Deceit just drops his head on the other side’s shoulder, not letting his partner see the effect he has on him before muttering, “I hate you.”


The light side laughs lightly. “I love you, too.”




2. Hoodie


Patton was running around his room in a panic. He knew his cat hoodie had to be around here somewhere! It wouldn’t just grow legs and walk out! Unless, Remus got into his room at some point…


He felt the telltale tug that Thomas was talking about him. He would be summoned any moment. Well, he needed to do something!


“Hey kiddos!” he yelled up to them, “I’m not doing too good, so I’m gonna stay down here. Or maybe we could reschedule?”


“Are you sure you can’t make it up here Patton?” Logan called before Virgil jumped in.


“It’s all good Pat, just take it easy.”


He sighed in relief. “Thanks!”


He didn’t bother to listen for a reply as he tried to think back to when he last had the hoodie.

“My arm keeps getting caught in this… thing!”


“Then just take it off. I’d much rather have your arm around me than the hoodie.”



He must have accidentally left it in the other side’s room when Remus tried to come in for some reason. (Patton didn’t stick around to find out why.)


He quickly popped down, outside the other side’s door, and knocked. He got a soft confirmation and entered the room.


“Hey Janus, have you seen my--” he stopped as he saw the cutest thing in all of existence. 


His boyfriend was curled up in his sweatshirt with the hood over his head, holding the neckline to his nose, and blushing like mad.


Patton couldn’t help but coo over the sight which caused the other to blush further and sink into the hoodie.


While he could clearly tell that the deceitful side was embarrassed, there is just something so precious seeing your significant other in your clothes that just makes your heart want to explode.


However, Morality tried to calm down a bit, for his partner’s sake. He slowly made his way towards the other.


“Hey Janus, can I please have my swe--” “Hissssss” Patton startled slightly while Deceit buried his head in shame and embarrassment.


“Are you okay?” The hoodie clad side nodded his head.


“Okay then,” Pat gently and slowly moved his hand towards the fabric once more, “may I please have my--” “HISSSSSS” The still standing side just stared at the tuft of hair sticking out of the sweatshirt, intrigued. 


He started to laugh, but quickly smothered it, not wanting to embarrass the other more. 


“Janus, do you want to get out of the hoodie?” It shook what he assumed was the head.


“Can I cuddle with you and watch some movies until you’re ready to come out?” It nodded gradually.


So, Patton saddled up next to the lump of sweatshirt, put his arm around it, put on the television, and was ready to wait however long it took to get his hoodie back.


He never did.




3. Gloves


In fairness, they should have realized that they would get caught making out in the kitchen.


With it being out in the open and how often the others visit it, it wasn’t really a smart move. But, it was Logan’s job to be the logical one, not theirs.


Also, Patton could talk Janus into anything. And he meant anything. After living with Remus for so long… well, he didn't have many limits.


So that's how they were in their current situation with Patton sitting on the kitchen counter holding his boyfriend's gloves in one hand and his face in the other. While Janus was holding his boyfriend's face in both of his uncovered hands. His dearest love had wanted to hold his bare hands and then actually feel them on his face. Their mouths were preoccupied.


However, a certain fanciful side decided he wanted food and interrupted them.


In his rush, Janus didn't even notice that Patton was still holding his gloves. Roman did. "Hey Padre, what's with the gloves?"


"I... was just..." he looked down at the gloves remembering something that Virgil had once said about them, "washing some dishes! Yeah! And you caught me by sud-prise, is all!"


The prince didn't seem entirely convinced. "O...Kay. Then why are you on the counter?"


"Just taking a break is all. All work and no play makes Pat a dull boy."


"Wait, did you just quote The Sh--"


"Welp! I think I'm gonna throw in the towel and head to my room. See ya Roman!" Patton said as he made a hasty retreat.


Roman looked curiously at the stack of dirty dishes next to the sink and light blue gloves the father figure figment always used to clean. "...Right."

The opposing sides crossed paths again the next day. 


They were walking past each other in the hall when Patton slaps the gloves onto Janus's chest. 


"You forgot these yesterday," he says. 


Janus, startled, but quickly recovering saying, "I have no idea what you're talking about since I'm clearly wearing my only pair of gloves." 


Pat turns to catch him in the obvious lie, but sees that the deceptive side is actually wearing his gloves. Or at least a pair of gloves. They don’t look exactly like the ones he usually wears which brings a small smile to the other’s face.


“But,” the so-called dark side continues, “a backup is always nice, so thank you.” 


“You're welcome,” Patton responds as they both walk away with small smirks on their faces. “One more thing,” he adds, stopping the other in his tracks, “I get to pick the movie next time.”


“But I thought you actually enjoyed The Shining?” 


He snickered. “I did, but I think it’s time I broaden your horizons too.”




4. Glasses


After hitting his boyfriend’s glasses for the third time in fifteen second while trying to kiss him, Janus gave up and just took them off of him.


“Hey!” Patton cried and made a move for his glasses.


Janus side-stepped him and kissed his cheek instead. “After living with Remus and Virgil, you’ll have to try harder than that,” he chuckled.


"Well I lived with Roman!" Patton yelped as he lunged once more.


The other side dodged him again, giving him a kiss on the forehead, before responding, "And you currently have no depth perception."


The pair continued this dance for a few more minutes until they heard the soft mutterings of the logical side.


They froze making eye contact. Knowing what was going to happen, Patton tried to stop his boyfriend. "Wait Janus, you have my--"


The other side sunk out.


"--glasses," he sighed.


"Good afternoon, Patton," Logan said as he entered the living room.


“Hey there, Logan,” Patton replied, trying to act as nonchalantly as possible. He was failing miserably.


The teacher gave him a curious look. “What happened to your glasses?”


“I’m… uh… wearing contacts!” the light blue side replied, “Yeah! I wanted to see if they’d make a difference.” He tried walking towards his fellow light side when he ran into the nearby coffee table.


“Be careful, Patton,” the other chided as he moved to his friend’s side.


The semi-blind figment righted himself before responding, “Well, I’m still not used to them.” He laughed a bit, trying to cover up the slight pain and embarrassment.


“Are you sure those are the right prescription?” Logan asked sceptically.


Patton nodded before attempting to exit the room. He was doing well until he tried to walk up the stairs and immediately missed the first one, falling on his face.


“Patton!” The studious side rushed to the other’s aid.


“I’m alright!” He called from his place on the stairs, making his way back to his feet.


“Are you positive you’re going to be fine?” the other asked as he helped the clumsy side finish getting to his feet.


Pat grinned at him before replying with a quick, “Yep!” He sunk out, not wanting to risk the stairs again.


Logan just stared at where his fellow side had been and huffed. “He could have just said that he lost them. That would have been more believable.”


The moral side reappeared in his room where the deceitful one was pacing anxiously. “Isn’t it Virgil’s job to worry that much?” he asked, jokingly.


Janus stopped and relief immediately washed over him. He quickly embraced the other, stuttering out apologizes left and right.


“Woah! Slow down honey! I can barely understand you. What’s wrong?"


He stopped babbling and looked up sheepishly at his boyfriend, not meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take your glasses, but by the time I had gotten down to my room and realized I still had them, Logan was already in the room. So, I waited in here for you. I hope not having them didn’t cause you too much trouble.”


Patton, not able to lie to the other without him immediately knowing, but also wanting to spare his feeling, started to slowly card his fingers through the snakely side’s hair and told him the truth. “I’m always great when I’m in your arms!”


Janus groaned and buried his face in the light blue side’s sweatshirt. “I hate how cheesey you are.”


He smiled at his love’s sarcasm and kissed the top of his head.




5. Cape


Janus didn’t realize when or where exactly he lost his cape.


All he knew was he had gone about his day just about as usual and as he had passed by the mirror in his room, something caught the corner of his eye. Or, more specifically, a lack of something caught his eye.


At some point throughout his day, he had lost his cape. Fantastic.


Of course, searching the entire Mindpalace by himself would be a fool's errand, so he got Remus’s help.


They started by asking the sides if any of them had seen it. Remus would take Roman and Virgil while Janus would get Logan and Patton. 


The snake made the mistake of going to Logan first.


The logical side, hearing about the other’s predicament, immediately sat him down and worked out a map and schedule of the other’s day to figure out where the cape would most likely have ended up.


This took three hours.

Remus, on the other hand, breezed through Virgil and Roman with very quick no’s from them and since ol’d snake face didn’t show up, he figured they weren’t lying.


The creative side went to go talk to Janus about what to do next when he heard him talking to Nerdy Wolverine behind a closed door.


Didn’t Yellow Fever tell him that he was going to Logan first?


Remus just shrugged and decided that he would check on Patton for Janus since he definitely didn’t sound like he was getting out of that room anytime soon.


He knocked on the door. “Hey, Daddy-o, you in there?”


He got no response. Weird. Maybe he was in a different room? The intrusive side looked in the kitchen, living room, even in the “dark” domain, and couldn’t find him.


Remus went to the other side’s door again and knocked. “Hello? Father Frog?” 


He still got no response.


He tried one last time. “Alright Fly Breath, I’m gonna come in now, unless you say no, okay?”




Okay then. Remus opened the door and oh…




That’s undeniably adorable, even for him.


Patton was laying on top of a still made bed and wrapped up in Janus’s cape like a blanket. He was clutching one corner to his chest in his fists with his nose buried in it. And he, most definitely, was dead asleep.


Remus just slowly and quietly backed out of the room and gently closed the door.


As he released the handle, Janus walked up next to him. “Remus, did you find it?”


He just silently turned towards his friend, speechless.


The snakely side stared at the other, startled. No one could ever get Remus to shut up. “Remus, what happened?”


The creative side just raised a hand and pointed to Patton’s door.


Janus, even more confused, decided to poke his head in and was also immediately rendered speechless as he slowly and quietly closed the door again.


The two just processed what happened for a minute before Remus finally found his voice again. “So… what exactly did I just see?”


Janus’s face just faded to red. He knew he could try to lie his way out of this, but there was little chance the other would believe any falsehood he fabricated.


He sighed before facing his fate. “Patton… and I…” he didn’t think it would be this hard, “are dating, and I, uh, apparently lost my cape in his room. He must have, uh, kept it and snug--slept with it! And we happened upon him.”


Remus’s eyes widened slightly and he just nodded. 


Janus is pretty sure he broke the intrusive side. “Are you okay, Remus?”


He blinked rapidly, almost as though he was waking up from something, before saying, “Yeah, I’m all good. Now that we found your cape, I’ll be going.” The other side tried to reply, but Remus took off down the hall.


Janus elected to ignore it.


Now that the other side was gone, he moved back over to Patton’s door and gently opened it.


He gazed upon the sleeping side and smiled softly while closing the door behind him.


He sat down next to the cocooned side and leisurely rubbed his back wondering how he got so lucky to be here and with such a lovely person.

After running from Janus, Remus immediately headed for his brother’s room, bursting through the door.


“Holy shit Roman! Get Trash Panda and Astronutsack in here STAT!”


The prince clutched his heart, breathing heavily and staring at his twin. “Jesus Christ Superstar, what is this about?”


Remus starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, barely containing his energy. “I got some Moceit tea to spill and it simply cannot wait!”


That got Roman moving and contacting the other sides instantly. Virgil and Logan were in the room within two minutes.


Logan sighed. “What do you need?”


“I already told you that I don’t know where Janus’s stupid cape is, Remus,” Virgil said.


Remus waved the statement away. “This isn’t about the cape, but it is about Janus. I got some Moceit dirt!”


Logan and Virgil got more invested at that point.


“I got Janus to confess to me and that means I won the bet! Hah!”


“Hold on!” Roman interrupted his other half’s excitement, “you didn’t win, yet.”


Remus stopped celebrating and turned to his brother. “What do you mean? I got a confession.”


“Yes, but we agreed that they had to, quote ‘confess in front of all of us, not just implied and not in front of only one or a few,’” Logan read from one of his many notebooks.


“Damn it!” the intrusive side yelled as Virgil snickered at him.


“Looks like the bet is still on and the idiots are still trying to hide,” the purple hued side sighed.




+1. All of the Above


“Are you sure the others won’t come in?”


“Yeah. I made sure to get Roman to take them on an adventure in the Imagination today to tire them out, and I already did a loop around to make sure everyone is asleep.”


“Well, just in case…” Janus snapped his fingers to start some light music to drown out any noise they would make and to set the mood. It also dimmed the lights slightly.


“Aww, this is perfect honey, thank you.” Patton gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.


The snakely side was instantly thankful the lights were already low to hide the blush that now blazed on his face.


He quickly found his more sauve persona once more and gently started to untie the other’s sweatshirt from around his shoulders. “Why don't we get a bit more comfortable, hmm?”


The moral side giggled and removed his partner’s hat, throwing it aside and began running his fingers through his hair. “I completely agree.”


As the pair leaned in for a kiss, the rest of the world melted away.

Virgil bolted upright in his bed with a yelp. 


He clutched at his racing heart as he tried to steady his breathing.


It was just a nightmare Virgil, he told himself, Nothing you haven’t dealt with before. Just go back to sleep.


Except, everytime he closed his eyes, he couldn’t help, but see it.


He wasn’t getting back to sleep anytime soon.


When he had bad nights like these, there was only one side who could coax him back under. So, he slipped on his skull shaped slippers, to match his onesie, and trudged off to the fatherly side’s room.


As Virge approached the door, he could hear soft music playing. It was a bit strange, but not unheard of. If Patton couldn’t sleep, he would often play soothing music to help. 


At least he’s most likely awake, the anxious side thought.


He began knocking at the door, but after the first one, the door slipped open a crack. Just enough to stop Virgil dead in his tracks.


He saw Janus and Patton kissing in the middle of the room with hat, hoodie, gloves, glasses, and cape discarded and thrown about the room.


As the two deepened their kissing and Virgil’s blush deepened with it, some subconscious part of his fight or flight reflex summoned the other sides to him.


Rapidly, they appeared behind him in varying states of alertness, but the anxious side was unable to look away. It was like watching a trainwreck, no matter how much he wanted to stop, he had to watch.


It wasn’t until the second most awake side, Logan, tapped his shoulder, did he turn around and notice his company. He jumped a bit, yet quickly quieted and righted himself.


“Why did you call us here at this wretched hour, Shadow Man?” Roman yawned, the least alert side, currently. He leaned on a wide awake Remus who was just staring at Virgil questioningly and eating some deodorant. 


The purple side just stepped out of the doorway and nodded his head towards it. The trio quietly walked up to it and peered inside.


Remus grew an evil smile and burst through the door. “So, are you giving the D-ceit or are you getting it in the J-anus?”


The couple froze and turned to the disturbance, all color draining from their faces.


“I--ugh--this--I don’t--I mean--” Janus sputtered, unsure what exactly he could say.


“It’s not what it looks like!” Patton yelled, way louder than an innocent person would. It was so bad, it almost hurt the side next to him.


The last three remaining side’s peeked their heads into the room and slowly made their way inside now that the initial commotion had slightly settled.


“What exactly is it then, Padre?” Roman asked, fully awake at this point.


“Well, I mean it’s… something--it’s definitely not--well--you know what--” Patton tried. 


His boyfriend sighed and gently grabbed his hand. “I think we’ve been caught, dear.”


Pat blushed lightly and looked anywhere, but his friends.


Janus looked at him and rolled his eyes. It seemed like he would do the talking. “Patton and I are dating. We have been for a little while. We didn’t want to tell you all since we weren’t sure how you would react with the still fresh truce between the ‘light sides’ and ‘dark sides.’”


A few things happened at once.


Virgil sighed, “Finally.”


Logan said, “Good, we have that cleared up now.”


Roman started cheering, “Yes!” over and over again.


And Remus just said, “You never answered my question DJ. Are you a top or bot--” before Virge slapped his hand over the other’s mouth. The hand was quickly removed once the intrusive side started licking it with a satisfied smirk.


“Wait, you knew?!” Janus yelled at the others.


They all murmured some form of affirmation while the couple stood there in shock.


“How long have you known?” Patton asked, finally finding his voice.


“Around the time you stole his hat,” Virgil replied with a shrug. “But, I was always suspicious, feeling the anxiety coming from both of you.”


“I knew a good portion of the time and my suspicions were practically confirmed a few weeks ago when you were quote, ‘wearing contacts’ because you ‘wanted to see if they’d make a difference,’” Logan responded.


“I kinda guessed after you were holding his gloves for no reason in the kitchen,” answered Roman.


“I saw you sinking out of Harvey Dense’s room while you two were watching movies or some shit,” Remus also shrugged. “At first I just thought I was seeing things, like usual, but I saw you left your sweatshirt on his bed.” 


“Is that why you needed me to conjure you a new one, Patton?” Logan asked.


The green side ignored the question with a devilish grin and leaned toward the boyfriends. “Plus, I walked in on you all curled up in Yellow Lie-mond’s cape like an animal caught by a boa constrictor that’s slowly constricting blood flow from its vital organs…” He stopped when he saw the slightly disturbed looks around him, especially coming from Janus.


He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I cornered Black and Yellow over here and got him to confess.”


“And,” Roman added, trying to lighten the mood, “I just won the bet! Haha, losers!”


Remus groaned while Janus and Patton looked at their friends, kind of offended. “You were betting on when we would confess?” Patton asked in disbelief.


“Heck yeah! And I just won $45!” the prince replied joyfully.


Remus whined and turned towards Virgil while the couple was still trying to process everything that’s just happened. “Why did you have to call us in here now?”


Virge huffed. “We already passed every day that I had bet on and I was tired of all of the second hand anxiety from the pair.”


“So,” Janus started after he had recovered, “you’re all okay with this? With us?”


The other sides just nodded their heads or muttered an agreement.


He let out a breath he never knew he was holding and let his shoulders relax.


“I’m still giving you the shovel talk,” Virgil chimed in from the back.


Janus immediately tensed up again and Patton laughed a little at him.


Both of you,” Virgil corrected.


Patton also tensed up and gulped causing the whole room to laugh.


Maybe things won’t be so bad, Janus thought.