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The second Jaemin sees Donghyuck from across the room, he knows he’s fucked.

The apartment is chock full of people, and Jaemin honestly doubts his eyes for a second, squinting between the flashes of people as they dance by him but then the space clears and he sees Donghyuck standing there, less than thirty feet away from him, grinning at someone and raking his hand through honey hair.

Luckily, for him, Donghyuck doesn't seem to see him yet. He's on the other side of the room and Jaemin ducks into the kitchen and out into the other hallway before he can, pulling his shirt away from his skin as he goes, grimacing at the thin sheen of sweat that’s covering his skin.

He’d been feeling hot all day but in all honesty, Jaemin had thought absolutely nothing of it. It had been a hotter day than usual and their air conditioner had been on the fritz - neither of them were any further from stupidly-broke-to-the-point-of-sixty-cent-ramen line than they had been two paychecks ago - and Jaemin had simply chalked the sweating and faint burning at the back of his neck, in the pit of his belly, to the overwhelming heat and the extra spicy Shin Ramen Jeno had found on discount last week and bulk bought, that they had eaten for the last three meals straight.

Besides, it's not as if Jeno could have warned him - he was useless in the nose department.

It could have also been the party - crowded and packed in some random second year's house that Jeno knew from his vet internship. The apartment was small, and there were far more people that could possibly fit inside; the smell of weed hangs thick in the air and Jaemin's sneakers are sticking to the floor.

At least he doesn't have to be the one to clean it all up.

But, back to the point, Jaemin doesn't expect to see Donghyuck there. He hasn't seen Donghyuck in months - not since before the summer break - and it sends a bolt of lightning, harsh and quick, running down the length of his spine when he spies him.

Just in time, Jaemin sees Chenle ducking out the front door, a handful of beers held in his hand and calls out to him, following Chenle outside the apartment.

"Go away," Chenle says, scrunching his nose at Jaemin when Jaemin catches up to him, pausing on the stairs. "The roof isn't for losers."

"Mature," Jaemin mocks before wrapping his hand around Chenle's wrist and tugging him to his side and making his eyes as big as he can. Chenle's disgusted expression only grows at it. "Save me, Le, you're my only safe haven from He Who Shall Not Be Named."

Dramatic sure, but Jaemin has no interest in being caught by his ex-boyfriend at the first party of the year. Especially when he looks so stupidly hot. It just serves to make Jaemin irrationally furious.

Chenle heaves a huge sigh, blowing hot, gross beer breath all over Jaemin's face before letting Jaemin slip past him, up the stairs, and onto the cool roof. The wind lifts the shirt from his sticky skin, and Jaemin sighs, lifting his arms up and letting the air seep through his clothes.

"You're so dramatic," Chenle says, shutting the door behind him. "And you stink."

Jaemin frowns at him and follows him to where Chenle's friends, and about a third of their school's dance club, sit.

"When did you get this rude?" Jaemin demands, sitting down next to Chenle. "I miss when you were just a frightened high schooler."

"I was never frightened of you," Chenle says derisively and Renjun laughs beside him.

"I didn't expect to see you here, Jaemin," Renjun says, leadingly, grinning at Jaemin. Jaemin’s oddly reminded of a nature documentary about hyenas Jeno made him watch last night.

"I didn't know he would be here," Jaemin mumbles, stealing a bottle from Chenle. "Jeno dragged me along."

Renjun snickers, completely heartless in the face of Jaemin's misery. "At some point, you're going to have start talking again, you know," he tells Jaemin. "You have all the same friends."

"No, I don't," Jaemin says mulishly. "He's an asshole."

"Yeah, and so are you," Sicheng says bluntly from the other side of Renjun and Renjun bursts out laughing, leaning into Sicheng's shoulder. He may be a tiny bit drunk, from what Jaemin can tell; his cheeks are bright pink and he's clutching onto Sicheng's arm.

"Don't torment the poor undergrad, Sicheng," Ten calls from where he's wrapped around Kun shamelessly. “It’s not his fault he’s too dumb to hold down a boyfriend.” When Jaemin sticks his tongue out at him, Ten laughs in his face.

The wind blows across the roof again and Jaemin sighs, pulling at the collar of his shirt. It's getting slowly hotter despite the setting sun and the constant wind and even the beer isn't helping cool him down.

"Woah," Chenle says, recoiling, as the wind brushes over him, blowing his hair back. "No, hyung, you really stink."

Kun frowns, leaning in. "Jaemin," he says slowly, pulling all of their attention to him. "I think you-"

"You're in heat," Renjun snaps, too loudly. His cheeks are flushed and he’s obviously drunk but his words strike a silence. The crowd on the other side of the roof quiets for a moment before they resume their conversation. Renjun hisses, "Jaemin, you idiot. What the fuck are you doing at a party?"

"I am not," Jaemin protests, pulling his shirt away from his chest again. "I'm just hot. Our air conditioner broke last week.”

"No, you're in heat," Chenle says, leaning in to sniff him. Jaemin's eyes flutter shut for half a second when Chenle's nose presses against his jaw before he manages to pull away, breath coming hard and fast all of a sudden. Chenle frowns at him, even as his eyes flicker down to Jaemin’s neck before he scoots back. "Or, at least you're in preheat. I told you you were stinking, hyung.”

Jaemin takes in a ragged breath before realising he wouldn’t be nearly this affected by Chenle if he weren’t right. If he wasn’t in fucking heat.

"Fuck," Jaemin groans, scooting back from Chenle before his instincts start to say some very convincing theories and his memory starts to give him the data behind those theories. "I need to get out of here."

"First smart thing you've said all night," Renjun mutters, eyebrows drawing together tightly.

Another gust of wind blows over them and all of them visibly lean back, looks of concern - Kun - and amusement - Ten - flashing over their faces. Only Chenle looks the mildest bit affected, fingers digging into the cement floor, but even that is tempered by him visibly breathing out of his mouth. Jaemin finishes his beer in one last gulp, savouring the cold liquid running through him before he staggers upright. "I'm heading home," he mumbles. "Before this gets any worse."

"Do you want me to come with?" Renjun asks, concerned, but Jaemin shakes his head.

"No, I'm fine for now. I'm just going to find Jeno and get out."

Now that it's been brought to his attention, the reality of it all, Jaemin can feel his heat building at the base of his stomach. His throat is dry and he can feel sweat drip down his spine. All signs of warning. All signs Jaemin had missed.

A chorus of goodbyes follows him as Jaemin leaves the roof, wrenching the door open and hurrying down the stairs. He hesitates at the doorway to the apartment, not wanting to step into the crowded room full of horny strangers but the need to find Jeno, find someone stable, intensifies and Jaemin quickly pushes through the crowd, intent on leaving as soon as he possibly can.

He gets side glances from a lot of people, and one or two reaching hands twist out to him, but Jaemin slips away, breath coming faster. Fuck, this was a bad idea. This party, this crowd was a bad idea. There are too many smells, too many pheromones drifting through the air, all of them snagging at his nose, enticing him backward, into the arms and scents of strangers.

"Hey."

Jaemin turns, blinking in confusion. The voice sounded like Jeno but it's not. It's a random stranger, looming over him, a smile pulled across his teeth.

"Hi," Jaemin says cautiously. He refuses to give into the need to wrap his arms around his body, as if protecting himself. Refuses to cower.

"Can I get you a drink?" The guy asks, leering uncomfortably at him. "You look kinda..." His eyes sweep up and down Jaemin's body and Jaemin resists the urge to jump into the nearest shower. "Thirsty."

Oh, spare me. Jaemin rolls his eyes inwardly. "Thanks, but no," he says lightly, summoning a saccharine smile from nowhere. "I'm just looking for my friend, actually."

"Oh," the guy says, leaning in, interest sparking in his eyes. His nose twitches obviously as Jaemin tries very hard not to back up. That would only trigger the chase. God, alphas were truly a plague on this earth. "Maybe I can help-"

"Nope!" Jaemin cuts him off brightly. "He hates strangers - he'll start crying, really, if he sees you, so I gotta go now, bye."

Not the smoothest escape but Jaemin should be afforded a little clumsiness. He's about to be completely useless in an hour.

Jeno is nowhere to be seen in the main room or the kitchen and Jaemin is just sliding into the full hallway, intent on searching the bedrooms - ready to brave whatever sight may face him- when a hand closes around his wrist.

Jaemin yanks it back instinctively, expecting it to be the creepy alpha from before, but he sees an even worse figure standing in front of him.

"God," Jaemin sighs. "What do you want?"

Donghyuck glowers at him. "You're so fucking stupid," he says. The first thing he’s said to Jaemin since June — since they broke up. "Are you aware that you're in heat, Na?"

Jaemin smirks at him, feeling some of the frantic energy fade from his limbs as he looks at Donghyuck. Honestly, leave it up to Donghyuck to make Jaemin's heat secondary to his need to verbally eviscerate Donghyuck at every given opportunity. "'Na?" He echoes. "Come on, Hyuck, that’s so informal. What happened to calling me baby-"

Donghyuck growls, low and short and truly fuck Jaemin's instincts, to his body, for reacting the way it does. For the goosebumps that skitter up his spine, the way his gut wrenches. He can feel the beginning of his heat encroach upon him, crawling over his shoulders like a particularly unfriendly spider. "Jaemin," Donghyuck spits. "You need to get out of here.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do, dumbass?” Jaemin demands. “I can’t find Jeno.”

Donghyuck frowns at him and the irritation fades from his limbs briefly. “I saw Jeno leave like half an hour ago with someone. Didn’t he tell you?”

Jaemin blinks, and for a second, the haze of his heat recedes, to make way for confusion. He pulls out his phone and sees a handful of texts from Jeno warning him not to come tonight and groans, head thudding against the wall of the hallway. “Fuck,” he says with great feeling. “Goddamnit.”

Donghyuck snorts. “You’re an idiot,” he says and then starts to say more when a group of girls passes by them. One of their scents catches at Jaemin, oak and lavender tugging at his nose and Jaemin swallows hard as a wave of dizziness floods over him. One of the girls turns, eyes locking onto Jaemin's and Jaemin just manages to catch a glimpse of a smile, a flirtatious building to something, the lavender scent strengthening before it vanishes under the force of Donghyuck's growl. He pushes up into Jaemin's space, breaking him out of the daze.

Jaemin hates how entitled alphas are - a product of nature his ass. If he wants to be pinned down and taken by a gorgeous girl then that is his fucking prerogative.

"I hate you," Jaemin groans as Donghyuck drags him away. "She was pretty."

"She is not in heat and you are basically unable to consent to anything right now," Donghyuck shoots back, pushing Jaemin in front of him as they reach the huge crowd taking up the living room.

His hand remains the anchor for Jaemin as they push through the crowd of people and scents, wrapped around Jaemin's wrist, thumb pressing into the jut of his radius bone. Jaemin focuses on that - focuses only on Donghyuck's scent - the one that's the most familiar to Jaemin.

It feels like Jaemin has been holding his breath the whole time he’d been inside and the second they stumble out into the cool night, he sucks in a large desperate breath. The cool night air sinks into his lungs and Jaemin's eyes fly open when it's followed by Donghyuck's spicy scent, sandalwood and chilies, bringing up strong memories of the hole in the wall Indian restaurant Jaemin spent most of his hungover mornings in freshman year at. Memories of Donghyuck practically wrapped around him, his mouth pressed to the pulse point of Jaemin's neck, his scent flooding Jaemin's senses to the point of dazing him.Breathing in Donghyuck so freely, after so long stirs his insides up, making them turn into jelly.

"You can let go of me now," Jaemin says and Donghyuck looks at him before his fingers uncurl from Jaemin's wrist and he steps back, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.

"What in the world went through your mind when you decided to go to a party on your heat?" Donghyuck asks him flatly.

Jaemin heaves a huge sigh and glowers at Donghyuck when heat trickles down his spine, blinding and hot. "Obviously I didn't realise I was going to start my heat," he spits back, just barely clinging onto his sanity.

"What about your suppressants?"

Jaemin blinks and then bites his lower lip. "I... May have run out."

Donghyuck looks dumbfounded and even Jaemin has to agree at the reaction to his own stupidity. He hadn't thought about it last night when he'd found the empty medicine bottle in his bathroom, figuring he'll order more later when he had the time but now Jaemin's regretting all of his decisions.

"You're an idiot," Donghyuck says again as if Jaemin doesn't know this. Donghyuck heaves in a huge breath and lets it out through his nose before he straightens. He doesn't seem affected at all by Jaemin - not nearly anywhere what Chenle's reaction had been despite being so close to him and Jaemin's ego pricks at it. "Okay, come on, I'm taking you home."

"I can go by myself," Jaemin scowls, stepping back as if Donghyuck might grab him. Not that Jaemin wouldn't punch him if he tried.

"Yeah, right," Donghyuck scoffs. "You walk home alone like this, and you're basically asking for something bad to happen to you."

He's right and Jaemin knows it. He knows that he's probably safer with Donghyuck around than he is alone but Jaemin doesn't want to be alone with Donghyuck. His heat is building too thickly at the base of his spine and slick is starting to trickle down, probably fatally ruining his underwear. Despite having broken up before the previous year ended, Jaemin's pretty sure he doesn't hate Donghyuck enough not to embarrassingly break and beg him to help him out when it comes down to it. When Jaemin becomes the most desperate.

He doesn’t want to though. He wants to stay as far away from Donghyuck as he possibly can.

"I can't go home," Jaemin realises just before he's about to say yes and allow Donghyuck the superiority of taking him home. "Jeno's sexiled me."

Donghyuck stares at him, and Jaemin stares back.

"Well," Donghyuck says and Jaemin somehow knows exactly what he's going to say before he says it.

"No-" he starts warningly.

"We can go to my place," Donghyuck finishes, face screwed up as if it were agony for him to get those words out. Jaemin wants to kick him in the shin.

"No," he repeats, insistent. "I am not going to your apartment, Hyuck!"

"You've already been there," Donghyuck points out. "It's familiar to you and I live alone, so you won't be uncomfortable."

"I will be uncomfortable because it's your fucking house," Jaemin snaps, just as another wave of heat sweeps over him, slamming into him like a full tidal wave. Jaemin stumbles, a noise slipping out of him. He hits the wall of the apartment and sinks against it, sucking in deep breaths, digging his fingers into the brick, to steady himself. Donghyuck shifts as if to grab him but seems to think better of it, holding back before he touches him.

"Jaemin," Donghyuck says, his voice softer. It slinks up the length of his body and curls like an unwilling guest into Jaemin's ears. Like a siren's song. "Jaemin, you can't go into heat right in the middle of the street. Your best option is me, right now."

Jaemin stares up at the night sky, sucks in another desperate breath, full of chilies and sandalwood, burning his lungs to ash, and then looks straight at Donghyuck. "Okay," he says. "Okay, let's go."

🌧

"Stop glowering," Jaemin orders under his breath, dropping his head against the subway door and panting a little. He's mildly ashamed of the way he's leaning into Donghyuck, soaking up his scent but he can’t seem to stop. It’s helping keeping the heat at bay while also managing to drive Jaemin insane. "You're scaring people."

"I'm not scaring anyone," Donghyuck mutters, hand clenching around the handle, his knuckles going white as someone passes by them, brushing too close for comfort. "They keep staring at you."

"Yeah, because I smell like a confectionery shop has exploded all over me," Jaemin groans. His hand twitches upward to drag Donghyuck closer but he thinks better of it and forces his hand behind him, clenching in the back of his shirt. "I'm pretty sure it smells sickly."

"I think you always smell really nice, actually," Donghyuck says quietly. When Jaemin snaps his eyes to him, Donghyuck's looking determinedly over his head at the subway map, refusing to meet his gaze. His cheeks and neck are flushed pink; at least he's finally affected by Jaemin.

"I hate you," Jaemin says apropos of nothing. He does. Despite every nerve in his body screaming out for Donghyuck to touch him, he hates him. He hates that he’s ended up in this position and he hates Donghyuck for being… Himself about it.

Donghyuck scowls at him, the dreaminess shattering from his eyes. "You're such an asshole."

Jaemin manages to summon up a grin, despite the haze building up over him, threatening to overwhelm him when their eyes meet. At least this is familiar. At least they’re back on even ground.

 

By the time they get off the subway and up to Donghyuck's apartment, Jaemin is rapidly becoming a useless extra appendage latched onto Donghyuck, boiling up all over. It feels like his feet are melting through the pavement.

"Donghyuck," Jaemin groans, throwing his arms around Donghyuck and letting himself sink into him, into the floor. Donghyuck grabs him tightly, cursing to himself. Distantly Jaemin hears the elevator doors open and then he's being dragged through the doors and the floor is moving rapidly, making him dizzy. "Donghyuck."

"What?" Donghyuck snaps back, strain in his voice. "Jaemin - just - stop being so difficult."

"Why are you so annoying?" Jaemin mumbles, latching onto Donghyuck's neck and nosing down the curve of his throat. His scent intensifies, harsh and spicy and Jaemin wants to drown in it. His tongue flicks out to taste it, gratification surging through him when Donghyuck hisses, his scent thickening. "Always so fucking annoying."

"You're not that great either," Donghyuck says, sounding stressed. Jaemin vaguely feels like he's being pulled over dips in the floor and then there’s the beep of the door in a far away distance and Jaemin presses his face deeper into the curve of Donghyuck’s neck, breathing deeply. Then, all of a sudden, the sharp scent of Donghyuck billows up all around him and Jaemin feels like he's going insane. His knees buckle and Jaemin gasps, twisting in Donghyuck’s hold. Slick is coating the inside of his thighs by now and his throat is dry. He wants to drown in this.

"Just a second longer," Donghyuck mutters. "Come on, Min-ah, hold it together."

"I can't," Jaemin moans. He hates his heats so much, hates the way they leave him absolutely vulnerable but he can’t seem to stop acting like this. It’s like he’s looking down at himself, at the way he’s wrapped around Donghyuck like an octopus, cheeks flushed and groaning and he can’t do a damn thing about it. His body is not his own, not right now anyway.

The door to Donghyuck's room slams open, revealing an even thicker rush of his scent. Jaemin finally collapses, losing all the strength in his legs, but Donghyuck catches him just in time and drops him unceremoniously on his bed.

"Fuck," Jaemin spits, writhing around in the sheets. He's absolutely dripping by now and everything is going hazy, going blurry. The sharp scent of chilies retreats and Jaemin just manages to peel his eyes open to see Donghyuck walk out of the room. "Wait-" Jaemin calls, voice wrecked but before he can embarrassingly beg Donghyuck to stay, he comes back, a pack of water bottles in his hand.

Jaemin watches, in growing desperation, as Donghyuck carefully lines them up on the nightstand along with a box of tissues and crackers — the only food Jaemin ever eats during his heats and later, when Jaemin is less of a hot mess, he’ll wonder about that, wonder if Donghyuck had just kept the old box from the last time Jaemin had had his heat — when they were together — or had kept buying them, the same exact brand and all, despite their relationship ending. Donghyuck doesn’t look at Jaemin the whole time.

"Okay," Donghyuck says, voice cracking. "Okay, are you good here?"

"Wait," Jaemin scrambles up, nearly face planting on the bed in his haste. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah," Donghyuck says, already backing out of his bedroom door, colour high on his cheeks. "I'll spend the weekend at Mark's or something, just text me when you feel better."

"You can't just leave me here!" Jaemin snaps. He's on the edge of losing his sense of coherency entirely but the sense of frantic panic of being left alone is keeping him just barely clear. "Get back here and help me out, asshole!"

Donghyuck frowns at him. "Jaemin, you're in heat-"

"I hadn't noticed," Jaemin spits. He resists the urge to press his face into Donghyuck’s sheets and just inhale.

"I'm not fucking you," Donghyuck snaps back. "We broke up! You don't even like me!"

"I like your dick enough," Jaemin groans. He's so hot and he's so irritated. He wants to murder Donghyuck. "Just shut up and be useful for once in your life."

"I'm not- you can't even consent-" Donghyuck starts and Jaemin loses his patience. He lunges out of the bed which seems like a good idea for the first two milliseconds, when Donghyuck’s eyes widen in surprise. But then Jaemin’s body catches up to his mind and he promptly collapses on the floor, burning up all over.

“Jaemin!” Donghyuck yelps, darting forward a second too late, arms only catching Jaemin’s shoulders as he lands painfully on the hardwood floor. Fuck Donghyuck for not even shelling out for a nice rug. Jaemin’s glad he broke up with him when he had the chance.

Jaemin takes advantage of their proximity and curls his useless fingers into a fist around the collar of Donghyuck’s stupid flowery button down — that he has no right to look that good in — and yanks him down, so their faces are close together, hissing with a fury that he can feel down to his aching bones, “If you don’t get your fucking knot in me so my fucking asshole stops leaking then I swear to all that is holy Lee Donghyuck, I will walk out onto that street right now, let myself be murdered and come back to haunt you until you lose your fucking mind.”

Donghyuck stares at him for an agonising pause and then slowly blows his hot, nasty breath that stinks of alcohol right in Jaemin’s face making him grimace and pull away. “Fine,” Donghyuck says and abruptly yanks Jaemin up, dragging him to his bed before Jaemin lands in the well of Donghyuck’s scent again, eyes fluttering shut as the pain recedes somewhat.

“Finally,” Jaemin sighs, letting his head fall against Donghyuck’s pillow, and taking a deep breath, shifting under Donghyuck’s weight. “I was wondering when you’d stop being such a little bitch.”

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Donghyuck grits and then his hand is grabbing Jaemin’s jaw, forcing him to look at him. “I need you to tell me you’re 100 percent okay with this,” he says slowly, seriously enough that Jaemin forces back his first instinct to chomp down on Donghyuck’s hand so he loses a finger or two. “I need you to tell me you’re not going to wake up in three days and be seriously fucking traumatized by this.”

A shiver crawls over Jaemin; Donghyuck’s fingers are unrelenting on his jaw, his gaze is dark and steady. None of the previous want is reflected there, no matter how deeply it had been buried. Jaemin hates how attracted he is to this Donghyuck — it has to be the heat. It has to be.

Donghyuck doesn’t say a thing, doesn’t move a muscle, just waits for Jaemin to respond. For his part, Jaemin is trying to remember what words sound like, if he’s being completely honest.

“I’m okay,” Jaemin says slowly, finally, when his tongue starts working again under that heavy gaze. “Donghyuck, I want you to fuck me. I’m saying yes.”

Donghyuck swallows. “Okay, then,” he says and then his hands are sliding down Jaemin’s chest, and yanking his shirt off, fingernails scratching accidentally at his stomach making Jaemin arch up with a groan.

And it’s off like a race - like horses bursting out of the gate, pounding strong hooves over the dirt, a drum beat echoed between the two of them. Jaemin’s hands scramble at his pants, yanking them off with a loud, relieved groan when the pressure on his dick is finally released. Donghyuck sits back on his heels, and helps him pull them off before his own shirt follows and the whiplash of his scent, their scents, intermingling together sends Jaemin's head spinning. He drops his head back on the pillow, hips rutting up into thin air.

Donghyuck hands close around his waist, pulling him down until he can grind down against Jaemin, their cocks dragging together. Even if it’s graceless as hell, muted through the layers of clothes - especially Donghyuck’s jeans - it’s the first sort of relief Jaemin has had since it all started and it sends stars sparking through his vision.

“Get these off,” Jaemin gasps, hands shoving ineffectually at the tight waistband of Donghyuck’s jeans. Donghyuck obeys, without saying a word back for once. He looks idiotic, wrestling with the skin tight layer of his jeans, clearly stuck to his thighs with sweat, and Jaemin rolls his eyes. "How did I get stuck with such a dumbass alpha for my heat?" He asks Donghyuck's ceiling. Unsurprisingly, the ceiling does not respond.

Even more unsurprising is when Donghyuck does. "Takes one to know one," he snaps, finally yanking off his jeans and flinging it so hard it hits the opposite wall, the belt buckle slamming into the wall with a loud clunk.

"Just shut up and get your dick in me," Jaemin hisses, already sitting up, fighting through the pain, the sluggishness of his body to pin Donghyuck to the bed and settling on his thighs, gritting his teeth as the ache hits him straight in the gut making him double over.

"Don't you wanna-" Donghyuck starts.

"No," Jaemin says emphatically. If he lets Donghyuck be on top, they'll never get this show on the road and Jaemin's dick will probably fall off in frustration. He's leaking so much by now, he's sure it's soaked through his underwear and onto Donghyuck's thighs and sheets but it all pales in comparison. It all vanishes into a wisp, drifting into nothingness when Donghyuck looks straight at him, slowly, carefully teasing his underwear down until Jaemin is biting his lower lip, trying not to let a single noise escape him as his dick hits the open air, dripping precome all over his waist and thigh.

"You good?" Donghyuck asks lowly and for a moment, there's just a beat of quiet around them. His thumbs are stroking circles into Jaemin’s hip bones. Jaemin’s lashes flutter and for a moment he wants to sink in Donghyuck’s hands, wants to let him take over completely.

"Shut up," Jaemin says again and the moment shatters into pieces around them. He sits up, bracing his hands on Donghyuck's chest before sinking down on Donghyuck’s cock. He only gets halfway before the pain becomes too much but that’s enough frankly, that’s more than enough. His hands are right above Donghyuck’s heart and Jaemin can feel it stutter, skip a beat.

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck starts, voice strained but Jaemin shuts him up with a noise and then slams himself all the way down and he cries out, chest heaving, pain and pleasure rocketing through him at the same time, twining together.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck spits, hands clenching tightly on his waist, fingers digging in and Jaemin huffs out a strained laugh. Finally. He lifts himself up and drops down again, starting an unsteady, unfulfilling rhythm. It’s jerky and slow and infinitely frustrating because as good Jaemin is in bed, his heat manages to render him completely useless - at least until he gets a knot in him. But like hell, Jaemin is going to give up this tiny control. Donghyuck has finally shut up for once and Jaemin has finally got his way. He’s going to enjoy this.

It’s hard to enjoy a heat — at least the first round anyway. Everything aches, pulling tightly at his skin, like he’s a part of the desert, cracked earth mirroring cracked pores, wringing him dry. It makes him feel weak, the strength in his thighs failing quickly. But Jaemin persists because when he peels his eyes open to check in on Donghyuck, the look in his eyes, dark and glittering, and the way his fingers are sprawling over Jaemin’s body, seeking and owning, sends a thrill skittering down his spine. Jaemin tosses his head back, gasping for clean air that doesn’t come — every breath is full of Donghyuck.

Donghyuck’s hips jerk up into him and just that movement, half-aborted sends Jaemin spinning out of control. He collapses, just managing to catch himself on his shaky hands before his head slams into Donghyuck’s sternum. “Goddamnit,” he gasps, still grinding back against Donghyuck’s cock and tries to sit up but his body refuses to, thighs shaking badly when he tries to put any strength into them. “Fucking shit.”

“Are you gonna let me fuck you properly now?” Donghyuck demands, somehow just as breathless. His hand sweeps over Jaemin’s spine, pressing into the vertebrae and Jaemin shudders.

“Fuck you,” he groans, picking his head up to glare at Donghyuck through sweaty bangs. “I’m not some helpless sack of flour.”

“No,” Donghyuck agrees. “You’re not. But I also can’t believe you though you could ride me on your first round. It’s not like you’ve been going to the gym that much.”

And before Jaemin can even entertain the thought of punching Donghyuck in his stupid, smarmy face, Donghyuck pushes off the bed, and lifts him, pulling Jaemin off his cock, making him gasp wretchedly, clenching around the abrupt emptiness before Jaemin’s landing flat on his back on the bed and Donghyuck’s hovering over him. He grins, smug and knowing, and Jaemin’s hand automatically curls into a fist. Donghyuck notices because of course he does. “Punch me later,” he advises Jaemin through a laugh, lining up his cock and slamming into Jaemin in one, long, breathless thrust. “You won’t get to come if I start bleeding all over you.”

“Not a kink?” Jaemin asks. His hands clench in the sheets. “I thought you liked being put down.”

“Not by you,” Donghyuck says and it’s such an obvious lie that Jaemin grins at him. He has plenty of proof to the contrary and opens his mouth to remind Donghyuck of exactly those times but Donghyuck draws back, shoves his thighs back and fucks back in. Jaemin’s head falls back and he moans loudly. It leaves him trembling, already on the precipice but Donghyuck doesn’t waste any time, just slams back into him again and again, until Jaemin’s close to losing his mind. For the first time since the night began, Jaemin finally feels at ease.

He’d never admit it out loud but Donghyuck is good at this, they’re both good at this — they may have only dated for a few months but in that time an overwhelming amount of sex had been had and Jaemin knows exactly how to make Donghyuck feel good just as Donghyuck does him.

Donghyuck’s hands are gripping his thighs tightly, bruises forming right then and there and Jaemin absolutely lets himself go, flings the last amount of self control he has out the window and gasps Donghyuck’s name, clinging to the sheets, the headboard, to Donghyuck’s arms, pressing into the muscles as Donghyuck fucks him, relentless and hard.

The pain has receded to the back of his head and all that’s left is just a feverish want, to be filled, to be knotted, to be fucked into oblivion. “Hyuck,” Jaemin grits out and Donghyuck glances up at him, hair plastered to his forehead. Jaemin rolls his hips as best he can when being pinned down by Donghyuck’s weight and hands. “Come on, please—”

“I can’t believe,” Donghyuck says jerkily, the words cutting off as his rhythm only increases. “That it took a dick in you to finally say the word please.”

Despite himself, Jaemin huffs out a sharp laugh and unclenches his hand from the sheets to tug harshly at Donghyuck’s hair, yanking him closer. “Knot me,” he hisses, chest heaving. “Before I bite your dick off.”

Donghyuck’s pupils blow wide and Jaemin only manages to feel the superiority for half a second, as his half hard knot nudges at his rim, before Donghyuck’s hand smacks the inside of his thigh, making him gasp and clench around Donghyuck. Donghyuck snaps his hips in, slamming into his prostate, wrenches Jaemin’s legs back, to the point where it hurts and slaps his inner thigh again and that’s all it takes. Jaemin comes with a yell, his whole body twisting up, clenching and tightening, the world whiting out behind his eyelids. He feels Donghyuck come barely half a second later, knot shoving into him painfully and filling Jaemin up completely. Jaemin gasps, clamping down around it and comes again, another orgasm rolling through him like a tidal wave, crashing over his senses and Donghyuck collapses against him, hands gripping his waist, as Jaemin shudders through the aftershocks, cock still weakly spitting out come.

Something in him finally settles, even though he’s still completely out of it, and Jaemin manages to peel his eyes open to see Donghyuck plastered against him, his hair stuck to Jaemin’s neck and chest, face pressed into his neck, panting harshly. The urge to bite him sweeps so hard over Jaemin it shakes him. The good kind — the true kind. He wants to sink his teeth into Donghyuck’s neck, wants to return all the bruises Donghyuck has left on him twice over. Jaemin’s cock twitches and he clenches around Donghyuck accidentally and Donghyuck groans, rutting into him.

“You’re gonna make my dick fall off if you carry on like that,” he says hoarsely picking his head up to look at Jaemin. His arms tremble and Jaemin raises an eyebrow to himself. And Donghyuck had the audacity to complain about Jaemin’s lack of strength.

“That would be ideal,” he says instead.

“Not until this is over, it wouldn’t,” Donghyuck mumbles, planting his face back down on Jaemin’s shoulder making the air whoosh out him.

“Fuck,” Jaemin realises. “I’m stuck with you.”

“That you are,” Donghyuck says, though he doesn’t sound too torn up about it. Why would he? Jaemin’s the one who’s going to suffer for the next couple of days; Donghyuck just gets to stick his dick in him whenever he wants to. “Are you okay?”

Jaemin sighs. “Don’t get all soft on me,” he says. “I’m fine.”

“Great,” Donghyuck says and shifts just barely to comfortable. It’s enough to make Jaemin hiss, however, Donghyuck’s knot tugging uncomfortably at his rim. “Wake me up when you wanna go again.”

Without thinking Jaemin’s hand lands in Donghyuck’s hair, and he blinks down at it, as if it were controlled by something other than his brain before he loops his fingers through the long strands. “I hate your hair. It looks like a swamp is living on your head.”

Long hair doesn’t suit Donghyuck. He looks too loose, too free. His cheeks look thinner too. Jaemin blinks, wondering where that last thought came from.

“Mhmm,” Donghyuck hums, sounding too close to sleep already. Jaemin narrows his eyes down at him as if Donghyuck see out of the back of his head. “I hate yours too, asshole.”

🌧

Jaemin wakes, his whole body throbbing, a fire burning its way from the inside out. He groans and tries to shift, only to collapse against the sheets uselessly. He turns his head only to find Donghyuck uselessly passed out beside him, mouth open and snoring a little. Jaemin snorts. What a stupid excuse for an alpha.

He manages to turn over, just enough that his fingers brush the water bottles sitting on the nightstand and takes a gulp of cool water. The heat in him, abated for a brief moment after Donghyuck knotted him, is raging back again. Jaemin groans and pokes Donghyuck until he’s shifting, snarling lightly at Jaemin as he continues to wake him up.

“You’re gonna make me bruise, asshole,” Donghyuck mumbles.

“Do I look like I give a shit?” Jaemin demands. “Get your knot in me.”

Donghyuck groans loudly. He turns around to fumble for his phone and what he sees makes him drop his head against his pillow dramatically. “Min-ah, it’s three fucking forty five in the fucking morning.”

“Heats wait for no one,” Jaemin manages in a singsong voice, wondering where he’s suddenly got the energy from. “Come on alpha, be useful.” He grits his teeth as another wave sweeps over him and pokes Donghyuck again.

Donghyuck sighs and wraps an arm around his waist, tugging Jaemin into him so they’re front to back. He can feel Donghyuck’s chest rise and fall against his back, unsteady. Because of him. Because of Jaemin.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep,” Jaemin warns, as Donghyuck guides his leg up and back, before sliding back in, his cock fitting in easy as breathing. Jaemin lets out a soundless gasp and swallows hard, arching his back to let Donghyuck fuck deeper into him, his cock filling him up in all the best ways.

“Shush, Min-ah,” Donghyuck says, his voice disturbingly warm and sleepy. “Let me take care of you.” Jaemin lets himself sink into it, and lets himself fall. For now, he’s content to let Donghyuck lazily thrust into him, hand clenching his thigh, his waist, and drowning him in his scent. Jaemin tips his head back, seeking the press of Donghyuck’s mouth and somehow, Donghyuck understands, even in this nonverbal, hazy moment.

Donghyuck’s mouth presses against the pulse point of his neck, but doesn’t go any further, just breathes soft pants against the plane of his skin that send tingles down Jaemin’s spine and his hands clench in the sheets, just on the edge of being breathless. His thrusts never really speed up, just maintain the same, lazy attitude. It’s enough though, even though it irritates Jaemin beyond telling, enough to slowly send him over the edge, just like the first few rocks petering off the edge of a cliff before an avalanche.

“Hyuck,” Jaemin chokes out, pressing his face into the pillow and sucking in a deep breath. “I’m- I’m gonna come.” Donghyuck just hauls his leg higher, fucking in, one long smooth thrust and whispers, in a low throaty voice, that sends shivers down his spine, “Come on Min-ah.” Jaemin can hear his smile when he says, “Come for your alpha.”

Jaemin shudders all over and comes, hard and aching, cock spitting come against the sheets, creating a new wet spot to avoid later. Pleasure wracks him, sweeping over his whole system. He feels Donghyuck groan, mouth pressing harder against the swell of his neck, hand clenching into the space between his ribs, fingers digging into the grooves as he comes, knot locking into Jaemin as he clenches around him. “Fuck,” Jaemin sighs, shifting his hips back minutely, pleased when Donghyuck groans, jerking, trying to fuck his cock in further. He doesn’t get anywhere, obviously, they’re tied together for the time being. It’s headying, the way Donghyuck’s come fills him up, his knot instantly abating the painful swell of Jaemin’s heat. Headying and infuriating.

Donghyuck’s mouth drops away from him and Jaemin keenly feels the loss. He pushes the feeling away, choosing to drown in contentment as his muscles finally unlock and he slumps into the sheets, leaning against Donghyuck’s cool body.

“Don’t ever say that shit again,” Jaemin says finally, referring to the phrase Donghyuck had said right before Jaemin came. For your alpha. As if. Donghyuck hadn’t even been his alpha when they were dating and now they were the furthest point from that.

Donghyuck laughs, a soft huff of air hitting the back of Jaemin’s neck. “You liked it,” he says and his arm drapes across Jaemin’s waist, tugging him closer, adjusting the way they’re locked together. “Go to sleep, Min-ah,” he continues, sounding sleepy again, the millisecond of cockiness fading out of his voice. “I know you’re gonna be up again in a few hours.”

That’s three times.

Jaemin doesn’t mention it. He lets his eyes slip shut and presses his nose into the pillow that smells like it’s been bathed in a bucket of Donghyuck’s scent.

Sleep comes easily.

🌧

There’s not a lot Jaemin remembers, once the peak of his heat hits but snatches come back to him in flashes, tinged in a red haze.

“Don’t kiss me,” Jaemin slurs when Donghyuck pushes back his thighs until his knees hit his chest. His cock slides back in and Jaemin moans throwing back his head. He feels so sensitive all over, it feels like his body is trembling, holding on for dear life.

Donghyuck scoffs. “Wasn’t planning on it.” He rears back and slams in and in return, like a symphony, instruments pulling and reaching back and forth from each other, a melodious give and take, noises spill helplessly out of Jaemin, hovering in the air between them, fading music notes.

“Good,” Jaemin says and he looks at Donghyuck, blinking away the painful tears that rise when his orgasm evades him, bouncing just out of reach. Donghyuck is looking straight at him. It makes Jaemin dizzy. Dizzier than he already is. I don’t want you to, he wants to say but the words twist away into a curling fog, as Donghyuck’s cock spears into him. Jaemin thinks he might be losing his mind, just a little.

 

Another flash of memory:

“Where are you going?” Jaemin mumbles, blinking awake, slipping from sleep to wakefulness in mere seconds.

His heat isn’t raging again yet, but it’s close enough that Jaemin feels the loss keenly when Donghyuck slides out of bed, leaving the other side empty.

Donghyuck glances back at him as he reaches the bedroom door. He’s pulled on underwear and a thin shirt and Jaemin can see goosebumps prickle on his thighs. He bites down on the urge to rip the clothes off Donghyuck but pushes off the covers instead. He doesn’t feel the cold at all. “I’m going to get some food,” he says in a soft whisper and Jaemin wonders why. It’s dipping into late evening, golden sunlight flowing through the open blinds and Donghyuck lives alone. No reason to be quiet.

“I’m not hungry,” Jaemin says as if that were obvious. He rarely eats during his heats; it’s probably not a good thing, but it’s hard to keep things down when his stomach is constantly roiling, aching, his whole body screaming out to be sated.

Donghyuck scoffs. “I am,” he says pointedly, and Jaemin flushes, retreating at that slight dismissal. He bats the feeling away as Donghyuck opens the door. “Give me two minutes,” Donghyuck promises. “I’ll be back quickly. Yell if you need me.”

I plan on not needing you ever again, Jaemin thinks viciously, pride stinging from the faint rejection, but he pulls the covers back over him despite the sweat gathering at the base of his collarbones and turns around as best he can.

He will never admit it, not to himself or Donghyuck, but the relief that crashes over him, making him curl into Donghyuck, when he returns to bed, a bowl of steaming rice and soup for Jaemin, is overwhelming. Jaemin shuts his eyes and presses his head into the pillow, forehead brushing against Donghyuck’s waist. He’s never wanted a heat to be over as badly as he does this one.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat?” Donghyuck asks softly and Jaemin flinches in surprise when his hand brushes over Jaemin’s forehead, sweeping back the sweaty hair. Donghyuck’s hand retreats. “Sorry.”

“No,” Jaemin mumbles but he doesn’t have the strength to draw Donghyuck’s hand back. It felt too good anyway. “It’s okay.”

Donghyuck doesn’t answer but he does shift marginally closer and Jaemin takes in a deep breath. Tries to calm the fire in his lungs.

At some point, at the peak of his incoherency, Jaemin remembers clinging tightly onto Donghyuck as they fuck. It had been unhinged, but sweet, like syrup coating their bodies, trapping them together, clinging, sticky sweet. Jaemin remembers muttering something, again and again, and Donghyuck responding, his voice sweet and soft, mouth pressed to the curve of Jaemin’s neck, right above his carotid artery, as he’d taken over Jaemin’s senses entirely. It’s horrifyingly embarrassing when he thinks about it later, the way he’d gasped, nails dragging down the expanse of Donghyuck’s back while they’d fucked, in missionary of all things.

Jaemin wants to puke just thinking about it.