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Holding Onto What I Haven't Got

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That night in Hannibal's kitchen back in Baltimore plays over and over in Will's head. He dreams about what he could've done to save Abigail, what he could've done to stop Hannibal from slicing his belly open. None of his dreams have the solution, because there isn't one. Will had betrayed Hannibal, maybe not fully the way Hannibal thought, but once that thought was in Hannibal's head, his mind was made up. No matter what Will could've done or said to him that night, would've stopped him.


It took months for Will to realize that and to recover, and when he did, he still went looking for Hannibal. For revenge or to forgive him, Will never was sure. His intentions flip flopped back and forth over and over, never staying the same for long.


When Will arrives in Florence, he searches for Hannibal, he never expected to find him with a man who looks nearly identical to Will himself.


Hannibal looked.. maybe not happy but content enough, anger coiled in Will's belly, his scar ached, and he was unsure of who he wanted to kill more--Hannibal or the look-a-like, maybe he'll just kill both. But no, he came here looking for Hannibal, he wants Hannibal, and Hannibal has found a replacement.


Will follows them for a while, he discovers that the look-a-like is named Antony and that he apparently lives with Hannibal. More often than he'd like to admit, Will would follow Antony when he was alone, knife securely in his pocket, but he could never bring himself to actually stab the man, or slit his throat, or snap his neck or any of the other things he fantasized about doing to him. Maybe he resisted because he feared Hannibal's wrath, or perhaps he knew that this man had done nothing to harm Will--not intentionally--he was just a man who'd seemingly fallen for the wrong person, much like Will himself.


He loved--loves Hannibal, and as much as he'd like that to not be true, it is. Will is in love with a cannibalistic serial killer, and honestly that's not even the true reason he wishes for the opposite. Will knows what Hannibal is, what he does, and still is drawn to him. He can look past the murders and the food is always delicious. But what Will cannot get over is that Hannibal killed their daughter in front of him, proceeded to gut him--medically precise to minimize damage as they'd later told him--and then run off with Bedelia of all people. Will has not seen hide nor hair of her, small mercies they say, Will would not have hesitated in killing her. But what really upsets him is that Hannibal moved on as if Will meant nothing to him, when Hannibal means the world to Will. Hannibal has replaced him, with someone who looks like Will, that hurts the most.


Still Hannibal does not truly look happy with Antony but he appears content, he looks as if he's tolerating his existence and nothing more. Maybe it's a part of Hannibal's new identity--though Will knows he's going by Dr. Fell now, and that Dr. Fell has a wife.. yet this Dr. Fell--Hannibal's version--has a boyfriend. That word feels like acid on Will's tongue.


About a month after finding Hannibal and his boyfriend, Will breaks into Hannibal's apartment in the middle of the day. He finds Antony's clothing in the drawers--based on size and simplicity--and Hannibal's are hung neatly in the closet. There are two toothbrushes in the bathroom and cheap hair products on the counter. He finds lubricant and other sexual paraphernalia in the nightstand drawer--silicone cock rings, a handful of condoms, a couple vibrators, a few anal plugs in varying sizes, and a few things Will has no idea what they're for. He slams the drawer shut, before he can give into his jealous instincts and throw the things into the trash can. He should be the one having kinky, mind-blowing sex with Hannibal, not this imposter .


Will has this irrational urge to piss all over Hannibal's bed--to mark his territory. He resists and moves on to investigate the kitchen.


Overly complicated, fancy cookware in the cabinets, a couple dozen different wine glasses of varying shapes and sizes. The fridge is full of fresh fruits and vegetables. He opens the freezer and does not find much. There is no sign of any meat whatsoever. Has Hannibal stopped eating meat? That's impossible, unless of course Antony has somehow convinced Hannibal to take meat out of his diet. That thought alone makes Will's hatred for the man grow exponentially. The thought of him changing Hannibal, taking away a part of him that was essential to his being.


Will purposefully touches everything, hoping to leave his scent behind. He wants Hannibal to know that he has found him, that he was inside Hannibal's apartment in Florence.


He glances at the clock on the wall, Hannibal will be arriving home from work soon, Will needs to leave, but he doesn't want to leave. But he has a plan, he cannot let Hannibal see him yet.




Three days later, Will approaches Antony, every part of his being is screaming at him to snap his neck, but Will is strong, he does not give in.


"Have we met before, Mr.?"


"Will, just call me Will. And I'll be honest with you, I've seen you around a few times now and I just couldn't resist seeking you out. You are, if I may say, incredibly handsome." Will lays on the thick Louisiana accent as he nearly gags on the words as he says them.


"Well that is quite kind of you, Will, but I must inform you that I have a partner."


Will licks his lips, "May I ask your name, gorgeous? And a partner, huh? Is it serious?"


"Antony Dimmond. And perhaps, it's been a few months, and I shouldn't gossip about my partner, but when we met, Roman had a wife. When he invited me for dinner I was shocked to say the least, I even jokingly asked if it was that kind of party, neither found it funny. But they've since divorced and Roman and I have been together since."


Will wonders briefly what happened to Bedelia, if Hannibal let her go, or if he killed and ate her? Will would place his chips on the latter if he was betting. "Pity, I think the two of us, could've had a good time together."


Antony considers for a moment, "I'll have some time free while Roman is away at work.. we could play ?"


It all seemed too easy, Antony accepting Will's advances so quickly, maybe he's not as happy with Hannibal as he appeared to be. And Will's hatred only grows with each word Antony speaks. "That sounds like a lovely idea, are you certain Roman won't mind if spending time together?"


"Oh, I'm certain that he will, that's why we don't let him find out."


"You play a dangerous game."


"Yes, I like to live on the edge." If only the smug fucker knew half of what Will knows.


"So when are you free, Antony?" Will raises one eyebrow, and tries to look seductive.


"Well, Roman will be home soon and expecting me, but I should be free tomorrow morning." Will knows Hannibal's schedule, he doesn't need to ask, but he wants to push this, wants them to get caught. Maybe he's crazy for that, but he wants to see Hannibal's face when he catches them fucking. He wonders if Hannibal will kill him? Or perhaps kill Antony instead? Maybe even both.


Will knows that on Thursday's Antony typically isn't at home, so he wouldn't know as Will does that on Thursday's Hannibal comes home around eleven for his lunch. "How does ten thirty sound?"


"Excellent." Antony gives Will the address before saying his goodbyes.


Will's heart races and he's up half the night sick with anticipation.




Will's alarm goes off at six, he showers, brushes his teeth and dresses in simple--easy to remove--clothes before leaving the overly expensive hotel he's been in since arriving.


He has plenty of time to waste until he's supposed to meet Antony, he stops for breakfast at a small cafe--he's eaten there dozens of times since arriving, but today the food is tasteless and makes his stomach feel heavy.


Will downs two cups of coffee--which do nothing to help his upset stomach--before leaving. He heads for Hannibal's apartment, he'll watch the apartment for Hannibal to leave, maybe follow him to work to just watch him for a while--reveling in the knowledge that he knows something that Hannibal doesn't.


Hannibal leaves right on time, Will waits a few minutes before following him. He doesn't want to get caught now when he's so close to getting what he wants, so close to fruition.


Long ago Will found waiting and watching to be painful almost, he'd gone on his fair share of stakeouts early in his career and never once did he think, "Oh, I can't wait to do this again." But here and now, watching Hannibal from the shadows, he never wants to stop. A glance at his watch however tells him he needs to be leaving soon, he doesn't want Antony to think he's been stood up.


He arrives at the apartment just before ten thirty. He unbuttons his top two buttons--exposing lightly tanned skin and the tiniest sliver of chest hair--before knocking.


"Oh, Will, you're right on time." Antony says when he opens the door.


"What if I hadn't been the one knocking just now?" He is already annoyed, and Antony has only just opened his mouth. He has a plan that he needs to see though, he only needs to tolerate Antony for a short while longer and then hopefully his faith in Hannibal and his love for him will bring them together and see Antony gone forever.


"I guess I'm just lucky, after all there's a sexy man standing in my doorway, about to come inside and play with me."


Will keeps his gag reflex in check, Antony may think he's suave or funny, but to Will he's nothing more than an annoyance and little more than a means to an end. "Well then, I think it's time you invite me."


"Come, make yourself at home, I didn't actually expect you to be on time, I should finish getting ready."


"Finish? You look divine as you are, besides you're just going to be dirty again soon enough." Will says as he sits--the sofa probably costs more than what Will's paid in total for his hotel so far.


"Mm, I like the way you think, Will."


"Come here." Will beckons Antony to sit in his lap.


Antony doesn't just sit, he crawls on top of Will, knees on either side of Will's thighs, groin pressed against Will's belly, ass firmly seated against Will's still soft cock, Antony's arms wrap around Will's neck, fingers tangle in his hair. "Close enough for you?" Antony murmurs.


"I think you can get a little bit closer." Will's words are spoken against Antony's lips, before he truly kisses him--tongue gliding across his lips, teeth nipping playfully.


His lips part and Will's tongue slides carefully inside. Will can taste what Antony had eaten for breakfast and a hint of minty toothpaste--his stomach churns, but he cannot throw up now, that would ruin his plan. He will see it completed, he will have Hannibal begging for his cock while he kills Antony.


Will's hands go to Antony's ass, kneading and squeezing at the soft, rounded flesh--he doesn't want to get Antony out his pants just yet, he needs to mentally prepare for that a bit more, but it would be nice to be able feel the warmth of Antony's skin beneath his fingers.


Antony moans into Will's mouth before pulling away, "You are an excellent kisser."


Will wants to scoff or outright laugh at the stupidity of Antony, but he holds back. He cannot seem to understand what Hannibal could possibly see in him to tolerate him. Maybe he's little more than a warm body for Hannibal to use at night--if that were true though, they wouldn't be living together.


"An' you taste delicious." He kisses Antony again, obnoxious smooching sound as he does so before, "Can I take your shirt off, sweetheart? I wanna see if you're as pretty underneath." Will hates himself for deciding to play up the accent, but Antony seems to really like it.


"Anything for you," Antony removes his fingers from Will's hair, sits up straight and pulls his shirt over his head quickly before dropping it onto the floor next to the sofa. His skin isn't incredibly tanned, but nice enough, not much chest hair--though Will would prefer it--his nipples are pretty, so pink--Will wants to put his teeth in them, see if he can make them go red. He grinds down in Will's lap, "Oh, Will, you're not hard yet."


"Getting there, sweetheart. Just need t'touch on you a little bit more." Will grips Antony's hips.


"You can touch me as much as you want." Antony leans in to kiss and lick at Will's neck.


Will's hands slide up Antony's back, his skin is warm and soft, and Will cannot resist ruining it--he digs his blunt fingernails into Antony's skin, dragging down until he reaches his pants.


Antony gasps, "Oh, Will. Roman certainly won't like that."


"You said you like to live on the edge, ain't that what we're doing here?" Will's fingertips slip into the back of Antony's pants--he's not wearing underwear, horny little slut. Will couldn't care less about leaving marks on Antony's skin, he'll be dead soon enough--hopefully. Even if Hannibal doesn't kill Antony, Will will kill him, unless of course Hannibal kills Will first.


Antony bites at Will's neck--Will wants to knock his teeth out for it. "I never said that I didn't like it."


Will presses so that his nails bite into the flesh of Antony's ass, before squeezing lightly. "Will ya let me fuck you, sweetheart?" Will cannot see the clock from his position on the sofa, but he can see the front door--he may have not closed it tightly behind him, he doesn't want Antony trying to get away when Hannibal shows up. Over Antony's shoulder Will glances at his watch, not much longer now--ten, fifteen minutes tops and Will will finally be face to face with Hannibal again, after almost a year. That thought alone brings Will's cock to life--seeing Hannibal and Hannibal seeing him, fuck.


"Would you like that? To use me? Fuck my greedy hole and come inside me?"


He will not be coming inside of Antony and he certainly will not be inside of him without a condom, if at all--the only one he will fuck raw and fill with his cum is Hannibal. But Will has to go along with it for now, "Oh, I'd like nothing more." Will brings his hands to the front of Antony's pants, pulling at the button and zipper--he needs them loose to get his hands into them.




"I'm ready to taste you." Perhaps Hannibal will cook Antony for him later. Will leans in, capturing Antony's lip between his teeth. His hands slip into the back of his pants, down under the curve of his ass. "Would ya like to taste me?"


Antony says nothing, his lips attach themselves to Will's neck, kissing first then slowly he begins to nibble a suck at Will's flesh. He moans soft and low against Will's throat, grinding his trapped cock against Will's belly.


Will bites at Antony's earlobe, spreading Antony's cheeks apart, fingertips inching closer and closer to his hole. Will moans in Antony's ear, loud and wanton--not necessarily because Antony's grinding or nibbling feels particularly good, more so to mask the sound of the door when it's opened.


Antony whines and bites down onto Will's neck--all of Will's instincts tell him to push Antony away and snap his neck--instead he moans again, somehow louder than before, and it's precisely the right moment, his eyes snap to the door as it is pushed open. Hannibal steps inside, their eyes lock instantly. Will moans again, grabbing at Antony's ass, "Mm, baby." Will thrusts his hips up, pressing his rapidly swelling cock against Antony's ass.


Hannibal stands there for a moment--still and seemingly shocked, though he does not look as angry as Will had anticipated. "Will?" His voice is low and sounds more like a growl than an actual word.


Antony tries to jump from Will's lap when he hears Roman , Will doesn't allow it, he holds on tightly. "No, I don't think so, sweetheart, you're not goin' anywhere." He goes still in Will's lap. "You wanted t'live on the edge, and now you're about to fall." He squeezes at Antony's ass again, fingertip rubbing against his hole causing him to tremble in Will's lap.


Hannibal all but slams the door behind him. "Antony?" There is anger in his tone, but Will is almost certain it's directed at Antony alone.


He tries to twist and turn in Will's embrace, he still does not allow it, "You're with me, sweetheart, you don't need t'be lookin' at him." Will speaks loudly and clearly so that Hannibal can hear him, so he can hear how thick Will's accent is.


"I will not repeat myself, Antony, what are you doing?"


"What does it look like he's doing?" Will thrusts up against Antony again, nipping at his earlobe again, then whispering, "Wanna give him a show, sweetheart?"


Antony shudders against him--Will can feel just how hard Antony still is, can feel how he's getting off on this.


"It's quite clear what is happening here, and I believe I was addressing Antony, not you, Will."


"What? How does Roman know your name?" Antony sits up straighter in Will's lap, but still Will does not allow him to move away.


As Will suspected, Antony hadn't heard Hannibal speak his name the first time, he must've only heard his voice. Will looks at Hannibal silently asking Hannibal what he should say, Hannibal stares back, but gives no indication of whether or not he would like Will to divulge their past to Antony. "Doesn't matter."


"It does matter, how do you know Roman? Was this some kind of set-up?"


"I assure you, Antony, I had no knowledge of this happening today." Hannibal moves to sit in the chair.


"I'll ask you again then, Will, how does Roman know your name?"


Will feeling petulant decides he doesn't care what Hannibal wants him to say, Antony won't be leaving alive so what does it matter if he knows their past? "You really want t'know, sweetheart?" Will's hands are still in the back of Antony's pants, slowly, steadily kneading his soft flesh.


"Please, I'm feeling betrayed right now."


"Funny you should bring up betrayal, Antony."


"Hush, this is my story to tell, not yours." Will snaps at Hannibal.


"Tell me, Will, tell me everything." Antony sounds frightened, but is slowly rocking his hips in Will's lap--chasing friction against Will's belly or perhaps trying to urge Will to slide his fingers inside of him, Will's uncertain of which.


"It seems, Antony is enjoying himself."


"I told you to be quiet, Roman ." Calling Hannibal anything other than Hannibal feels wrong.


"Apologies, please continue."


"Here's the thing, Antony, 'bout a year ago, I knew a man whom I wanted to see behind bars for crimes so atrocious, but see I fell in love with that man along the way, so I couldn't see my plan through to the end."


"What does this have to do with Roman or how you two know each other?"


"Do not interrupt me again, Antony, it's incredibly rude." Will sees Hannibal smile at that, and something warm and heavy blooms in his chest. "Now, I couldn't see my plan completed because I did not want him locked away, I wanted him free, I wanted to run away with him, but he thought I'd betrayed him, and so he stuck a knife in my belly, sliced me open and left me to bleed out on his kitchen floor." He doesn't mention Abigail--speaking about her is too painful and Antony is not worthy of knowing about her.


Antony has not stopped moving, the motions against Will's groin and beneath his hands feels good but his gaze is focused on Hannibal and a part of Will wants to scream and cry. "I know Roman because he is the man who gutted me and left me alone, to die on the floor in a pool of blood." Antony's cock twitches against Will.


"I was surgically precise and the authorities were on their way, I knew you wouldn't die, Will."


"Roman really did that to you?"


"Slide your hand beneath my shirt and feel the scar across my belly, then you'll know if I'm lying."


His hand slips under the hem of Will's shirt, his fingers are warm as he touches Will's skin. But when he touches the scar Will's entire body jolts and goes stiff--it's not painful but having someone other than Hannibal touch the scar he'd left on Will's body is damn near revolting.


"Shit, you really do have a scar." Antony moans, fingers pressing into the scar tissue, ass pressing down against Will. Will resists pushing him to the floor.


"I do, and I was in the hospital for quite a while, but now I'm here."


"What exactly are you planning on doing here, Will?"


"I plan on fucking you, Dr. Lecter."


If only Will had a camera to capture the look of pure astonishment and lust on Hannibal's face--it will forever be remembered in his mind palace.


Antony's hips stutter against Will, "Lecter?" He seems to almost recognize the name.


"Will." Hannibal growls in warning.


"Calm down, Dr. Lecter, Antony's not going to say anything, right, sweetheart?"


Antony whines, "No, no, I won't say anything." He grinds against Will again.


Either Antony's fucking crazy or he's getting off on the danger of the situation--he has no idea what's coming. Will smirks at the thought. He shouldn't be so excited about murdering someone or more so watching Hannibal murder someone, but it makes his cock throb in his pants.


"It appears Antony may be getting close, Will, and from my vantage point it seems you haven't done much to him."


"You're the one who's been fucking him, so I suppose you would know. As for me not doing much to him, you are absolutely right, but perhaps Antony is more receptive to my touch than yours." Will has resumed kneading Antony's ass, rubbing against his hole--he's tempted to press his finger inside, but he's not feeling cruel enough just yet to do so without any sort of lube, besides that, Will is unsure if he wants to penetrate Antony at all.


"Are you suggesting you are a better lover than I am?"


"Suggesting? No, I know I am better, at least where Antony is concerned." Will laughs.


"You've grown to be quite confident, Will."


"Of course, now that I don't have you playing around in my head."


"I did not play in your head,"


Will interrupts--anticipating Hannibal getting angry, "Call it what you'd like to, Dr. Lecter, but you drugged me, used light and sound to manipulate me and let me suffer through encephalitis for how fucking long. No matter what you say, you fucked me up."


"Will, I never meant to hurt you."


He wants to hear Hannibal apologize, but not now, not when Antony is still alive to hear it--it is not his to hear, Hannibal's apologies are Will's and Will's alone. "Enough, come over here and help me."


Hannibal is up and across the room so quickly if Will didn't know better he'd think Hannibal teleported. "What would you have me do, Will?"


Will contemplates for a moment, as much as he doesn't want Hannibal touching Antony, "First, you're going to go get me a bottle of lube and a cock ring. Then you'll pick him up, I know you're strong enough, undress him, and then suck his cock."


"I don't have a,"


"Don't lie to me, Dr. Lecter."


Antony slowly, steadily is still grinding against Will. It's almost unnerving how unfazed Antony is with all of this--he finds out that Roman isn't Roman at all, that he gutted Will and left him to die and that Will intendeds to fuck him--through it all Antony never stops moving in Will's lap. He never stops moaning and whining and panting, and that bothers Will. Antony should be scared, or trying to run away, not so fucking into it, never questioning anything. He just goes along with it all, and enjoys it.


Hannibal doesn't argue, he goes to what Will knows is the bedroom and returns with a bottle of lube and a sleek black silicone cock ring. Hannibal tries to hand the items to Will, "Wait, are you hard, Dr. Lecter?" He purposely does not say Hannibal's first name, he knows that Hannibal would like that and while Will wants to please him, he knows that by calling him Dr. Lecter, it will simultaneously frustrate and arouse him--and Will needs him frustrated.


"Intrigued, aroused? Perhaps. Erect? No."


"Strip, and then put that on, before you handle Antony."


Hannibal stares at him for a moment, as if in challenge--you cannot make me do anything, his expression says.


"Did I stutter? I said strip, and put that on, now." Will's tone is even and deep--commanding.


Hannibal cocks his head to the side, questioning Will's orders, but begins to unbutton his shirt anyway--cuffs first.


"You need to be quicker, Dr. Lecter." Will's fingers twine into Antony's hair, he begins to pull, relishing the whimpers and whines he drags out of him.


Hannibal does not speed up, he actually seems to slow down, when his shirt is fully unbuttoned he slides it off slowly, folds it neatly and places it on the chair he'd been sitting in. Will does not instruct him to speed up again--he allows Hannibal to have some semblance of control over the situation.


Hannibal removes his belt, places it on the chair. He slips his shoes off next to the chair, toes his socks off and leaves them next to his shoes. He pulls his zipper down, unbuttons his slacks and let's them slide down his legs, he folds them and puts them onto the chair as well. Then he hesitates, fingers on the waistband of his boxer briefs. "Are you certain this is what you want, Will?"


Will removes his hands from Antony's pants, gripping his hips to steady him. "This is what I've always wanted, Dr. Lecter." And that's the truth, Will has wanted Hannibal since the beginning--he may not have realized or wanted to acknowledge that fact, but it was always there. That want only became stronger once Will realized what Hannibal is--he wants to see Hannibal kill and butcher someone, he wants to share a meal with Hannibal that Will himself helped to provide.


Even now he regrets faking Freddie's death and lying to Hannibal about the meat he'd brought for Hannibal to prepare. Will gets lost for a moment, guilt coiling in his belly. He pushes it down, and focuses--Antony whines against his neck, rutting against him languidly, but Will's attention is on Hannibal as he slicks his cock to slide the silicone ring on.


Will cannot look away from Hannibal's cock--slightly ridgid now, glans just barely visible from beneath his foreskin, the black cock ring stands out against his skin, but seems lost almost in the thick, but well maintained patch of coarse hair surrounding his slowly filling length.


Suddenly Hannibal steps closer and lifts Antony from Will's lap--he goes willingly but whines at the loss of friction against his cock. Hannibal strips him of the rest of his clothes, uncaringly drops them to the floor before dropping to his knees to take Antony into his mouth.


Will can do little more than stare for a moment, he has every intention of removing his own clothes, of moving to touch Hannibal, but he can't . He's mesmerized by the scene in front of him--Hannibal on his knees, lips stretched around Antony's cock, hands on Antony's thighs to steady himself, Antony's hands on his head, fingers tangled in Hannibal's hair, guiding Hannibal to take his length further into his mouth and down his throat.


Finally he stands, unable to resist, he steps up behind Hannibal, placing his palm flat against his throat, fingers curving around, he can feel Antony's cock beneath his palm, as Hannibal's throat constricts around it--swallowing and sucking. His fingers flex against Hannibal's throat, he wants to do it harder, wants to make Hannibal's throat impossibly tighter around Antony's cock, wants to watch Hannibal choke and gag and struggle, but he doesn't do it. Blunt nails bite into Hannibal's flesh, but Will does not tighten his grip.


Hannibal shudders against him as Will's nails dig into his skin, he doesn't hear Hannibal moan, but he feels the vibration of it beneath his palm. Will grips Hannibal's shoulder with his other hand, squeezing hard--like he wants to do with his other hand. He wants to push Antony's hands from Hannibal's head, so that he can run his fingers through Hannibal's hair, so that he can twist and pull and push Hannibal further onto Antony's cock.


Will is careful not to press up against Hannibal yet, he wants the first time Hannibal feels his cock to be when there are no clothes between them. Hannibal's right hand leaves Antony's thigh and comes to grasp Will's ankle behind him. Just the small touch makes Will's knees weak--he cannot let that happen, he's in charge here, he can't be swooning when Hannibal touches his ankle. He doesn't move his ankle away from Hannibal, not yet, he will but the physical contact feels good , so for a moment he stays. Hannibal is warm and firm beneath Will's hands, and his grip is tight on Will's ankle.


He looks to Antony, his eyes are closed, lips parted, cheeks flushed as he moans--Will wants to hit him, knock the blissed out look right off his fucking face. Will abruptly releases Hannibal's throat and backs away, nearly falling on his ass when Hannibal doesn't release him immediately, stumbling more when Hannibal does release him. "Hanni--" He stops abruptly, not meaning to say Hannibal's name.


Hannibal does not pull off of Antony's cock, he does however reach back and try to steady Will--the gesture is almost sweet , like he's trying to help Will because he cares and maybe he does, Will certainly hopes he does, but with Hannibal, Will is always at least a little bit unsure. But Will hopes that after today that will all change, that there will be no uncertainties left between them.


Will hastily undresses, his clothes don't just fall to the floor though, no, Will tosses them in a crumpled pile onto the chair where Hannibal's clothes are neatly folded. His shoes end up next to Hannibal's as well--more like one is on top of Hannibal's and the other slides under the chair.


Despite the warmth of the apartment he shivers--though perhaps it's not the temperature at all and it's simply the anticipation. Goosebumps cover his body as he moves back to stand behind Hannibal. His flushed, drooling cock presses against Hannibal's neck just below his hair--he wants to grind against Hannibal's head, instead he settles for just standing, pressed against him. He leans in, his lower belly--the damned scar Hannibal left on him--is tickled by Hannibal's hair, he can feel Antony's fingers against his skin as well, where they are still tangled in Hannibal's hair, guiding him. Will places his hands on Antony's chest--to gain his attention--before sliding up to cup his jaw. Will doesn't want to kiss him again, but he would have both himself and Hannibal tasting like Antony when they finally kiss.


Antony moans into Will's mouth--he swallows the sound. Hannibal's fingers curl around Will's ankle again, and again the touch nearly puts Will onto the floor. He simultaneously loves and hates that Hannibal has that effect on him--no one has ever affected him in such a way.


Will pulls away from Antony's mouth, shakes his foot slightly in hopes that Hannibal releases him, before dropping to his knees behind Hannibal. His cock is nestled perfectly against the curve of Hannibal's ass, chest and belly pressed tightly against his back, Will's hands go to Hannibal's hips--he holds him there, fingers splayed wide. Hannibal pushes his hips back, rocking slightly, grinding himself against Will. His lips go to Hannibal's ear, he bites lightly before murmuring, "I want you to kill him." His voice is low, and deep--more so to have an affect on Hannibal than to mask his words from Antony.


He hears the way Hannibal swallows around Antony's cock. He takes note of the way Hannibal presses back against him, and lifts the shoulder closest to Will, as if in question.


"I know you want to, Hannibal."


He whines around Antony's length--Will never would've expected to hear Hannibal whine--the sound causes Will's cock to throb and drip against Hannibal's ass. Leaving sticky, pearlescent smudges across his skin.


Will leans away from Hannibal momentarily, grabbing the knife from his jacket pocket and picking up the bottle of lube Hannibal had dropped to the floor. He presses himself against Hannibal again, as he sets the knife on the floor next to his own knee--out of Antony's view, just in case. He opens the bottle of lube and pours some into his hand, he does not slick his cock, instead he reaches down and spreads the lube between Hannibal's cheeks and down between his thighs. "Come on, baby, do it for me." He nips at Hannibal's ear again.


Hannibal pulls off Antony's cock, takes it into his hand to stroke--as a distraction really--and turns to Will, "How would you have me do it, mylimasis?" His words are spoken quietly, lips barely brushing against Will's as he speaks.


He wants so badly to lean forward, press his lips to Hannibal's, but he doesn't, not yet. "When he comes, I want you to gut him, the way you gutted me."


Antony pulls on Hannibal's hair, pulling him back towards his cock. Hannibal squeezes his cock mid-stroke, tightly--painfully perhaps--causing him to release Hannibal's hair and grab at his hand. "Please." He whimpers. "Please, stop." He begs.


But Hannibal does not stop. "I've taught you better, Antony, you will take what I give to you or you will take nothing at all."


"Yes, sir." Antony answers quickly--Will cannot help but wonder if perhaps he'd been wrong about the reason for Antony wanting to sleep with him so easily.


Is Hannibal a selfish lover? Is he cruel? Perhaps it's something simpler in that Hannibal plays the role of dom in his relationship with Antony, and Antony wants something different .


Hannibal resumes stroking Antony's cock, but pays no attention to him, his focus is on Will, and Will alone. "Do you have a blade?" Hannibal does kiss Will this time, to muffle the words now that Antony isn't completely distracted.


Will licks into Hannibal's mouth, tasting Antony's precum and the salt of his sweaty skin--it makes Will want to gag, but because it is Hannibal's lips that are against his, Hannibal's teeth that scrape against his tongue, he doesn't. Will breaks the kiss and gently turns Hannibal back towards Antony. "Get back to sucking his cock, you squeeze my thigh when you know he's close. I'll slip the knife into your hand, and you'll eviscerate him, get yourself all wet and sticky from his blood, swallow his cum, and then kiss me."


"And then?" Hannibal whispers.


"And then.. I'll fuck you." He gently pushes Hannibal forward.


His hand comes back to grip Will's thigh, lips wrapping around Antony's cock again. Antony's hands do not make their way back into Hannibal's hair, instead he pinches one of his nipples and tries to reach Will, to caress his face, Will does not allow that.


Will slowly rocks against Hannibal's ass, cock slipping between his thighs--Hannibal flexes and squeezes his legs together when he feels Will between them. Will grabs onto Hannibal's hips, pulling him closer. His cock nudges against Hannibal’s balls, they’re warm and heavy against Will’s cock. He bites and kisses as the side of Hannibal’s neck as he fucks between his thighs--something Will never had thought to do, but fuck does it feel good, Hannibal’s thighs are toned, but his skin is so fucking soft. Will feels dizzy almost, maybe it’s the pleasure, maybe it’s the prospect of seeing Hannibal kill--and contributing to that kill.

Hannibal squeezes at Will’s thigh, he picks the blade up, flips it open, and places it into Hannibal’s hand.

Is Hannibal really going to do this? Is Will truly going to let him?

Will can see Antony’s muscles contracting, he can fucking hear Hannibal swallowing his cum. Antony moans, “Ah, fuck, Dr. Lecter.”

Will snaps, the way Antony calls him Dr. Lecter causes Will to see red, he grabs Hannibal’s hand and brings the blade up, it cuts into Antony’s flesh easily.

Antony’s moan becomes pained. “What?”

Hannibal moans around Antony’s cock, pressing back against Will as the blade enters Antony’s side. Will releases the blade. The slow trickle of blood down his side quickly becomes a torrent. There is no real arterial spray, much to Will’s dismay--he wants to see blood spatter on Hannibal, perhaps he can from their next kill.


Christ, is he really planning to kill with Hannibal, again?


Antony tries to push Hannibal's hand away, but he's weak from his orgasm and the shock of pain and rapid loss of blood.

“Hush, sweetheart, it’s alright.” Will reaches out and takes Antony’s hands into his own, not only in an attempt to comfort, but as a way to stop him from trying to push Hannibal away. “You’re okay.” He tries to sound soothing--thickening his accent again.

Hannibal continues to suckle at Antony’s cock as he drags the blade across his abdomen--above his own head, Hannibal cannot truly see what he is doing. His face is truly covered in Antony’s blood by the time he let’s Antony’s limp cock fall from between his lips--Will wants to kiss him, and lick the blood from his skin.

“Why?” Antony doesn’t yell out for help, and for that Will is grateful.

“It was inevitable, Antony, my dear Will just expedited your ending.” Hannibal twists the blade inside of Antony before dropping it to the floor and turning in Will’s arms to kiss him.

It’s messy, and wet and so fucking perfect. Blood smears across Will’s face, he can taste it as Hannibal licks into his mouth. Will vaguely hears as Antony collapses to the floor with a thud, vaguely aware as he tries to crawl away from them--he’s weak and losing blood rapidly, hell his intestines may even be dragging across the floor for all Will knows.

His hands go to Hannibal’s jaw, holding him in place as they kiss. Hannibal breaks the kiss, “Give me a moment, mylimasis.” Hannibal picks the knife up and moves to go finish Antony off.

Will grabs his wrist, “Wait, let me help you.”

Hannibal smiles, and offers the knife to Will, he doesn’t take it though, he crawls the few feet across the room to where Antony has fallen face down onto the floor--struggling to breath.

Will rolls him onto his back, “Sweetheart, you stay with us for just a minute longer, okay?” He leans down and presses a chaste kiss to Antony’s lips, “It’ll be over soon, sweetheart. I’m real sorry it had to happen like this, but I don’t like to share.” Will beckons Hannibal to him, he comes quickly, knife still in his hand.

“What’ll be the quickest and least painful way for us to kill him?”

“I’m afraid that’s out of the question now, Will, he’s already experiencing excruciating pain.”

“P-please, don’t.” Antony’s begs, his voice is so quiet--weak and shaky.

“Shall we slit his throat and see how quickly he bleeds out?”


“How would you like to do this then, Hannibal?”

“Break his neck, he will die quickly” Will shivers--he knows Hannibal is strong enough to do so.

“Do it for me, baby, snap his neck.”

Hannibal doesn’t even look at Antony as he moves to cradle his head, “Anything for you, mylimasis.” He quickly jerks Antony’s head to the side, the cracking sound is so loud and seems to echo throughout the apartment.

Will cannot resist, he runs his hands through the puddle of Antony’s blood that surrounds his body, before touching the cut on his belly. The positioning is wrong--it doesn’t not mirror Will’s. His skin is still warm to the touch, his blood is cooling but sticky on Will’s skin. Without thinking he strokes his cock, blood and precum smear down his shaft.

Suddenly he’s pulled up, “Come, mylimasis.” Hannibal holds his hand and leads him to the bed. He pushes Will down onto the bed, opens the drawer and pulls out a different bottle of lube, he slicks his fingers before pressing two inside of himself before climbing on top of Will, straddling him.

“W-what are you doing?” Will is supposed to be in charge here, he’s supposed to be on top of Hannibal, not the other way around.

“You promised me your cock if I killed him, I’ve done what you asked and now I will take my reward.”


Before Will can say or do anything, Hannibal sinks down onto him, taking his cock all at once. "Oh, baby." Will grabs onto Hannibal's hips, leaving tacky, bloody handprints.


He leans down over Will, his hands come up to cup Will's jaw, their lips touch--it's soft and sweet and so out of place for the moment, but feels so right .


Will's hand slides around the back of Hannibal's thigh, pulling his knee up the bed next to him, effectively changing the angle of his cock inside Hannibal. Hannibal moans into the kiss, rocking his hips--not truly fucking himself on Will's dick, but the feeling is still so good.


Hannibal tries to sit up, Will's arm loops around his neck, gently stopping him, "Don't go, stay, baby. We have time, right? We don't have to rush?"


Hannibal kisses him again--chaste and sweet. "We have as much time as you are willing to give." He says as if Will has any choice in this, as if Will could truly walk away from him at some point.


"Then I would give you forever." Will feels ridiculous , they've essentially just had a threesome and murdered someone--the body is still cooling in the next room--they're both covered in blood and Will is inside of Hannibal yet he cannot help the tears that well up in his eyes.


He doesn't try to move away from Will again, but slowly pushes himself down onto Will's cock, "I will cherish every moment you give me, mylimasis."


Will grips Hannibal's thigh, fingernails bite into the nape of his neck where he holds Hannibal close.


Hannibal's pace is languorous, barely rocking his hips against Will. But despite the intimacy and pleasure of it, Will wants to roll them, wants to fuck into Hannibal quick and fast, and brutal.


"Did you let him fuck you?" Will has to know.


"Never, mylimasis."


"But you would've let him?" Will thrusts into Hannibal, there's not much power to it, but he wants Hannibal to feel his jealousy.


"No, Will. I wouldn't have anyone inside me, the way you are."


Did Hannibal just admit to not having been fucked before? Will shivers at the thought.


"Only me?" He thrusts again, as if to punctate the meaning of his words.


"Only you have been inside of me this way, and only you will ever be." Hannibal increases his pace, only slightly but enough to cause them both to moan.


"Ah, fuck." Will bends his knees, plants his feet into the mattress for leverage, grips Hannibal's thigh tight and uses all of his strength to fuck up into Hannibal.


Hannibal bites at Will's neck.


"Harder." Will begs, he wants Hannibal's bite to hurt , possibly even to bleed, he wants Hannibal to mark him so everyone knows who Will belongs to. And if Hannibal will allow him to, Will will mark Hannibal the same way to ensure no one comes near him again.


Will already let Hannibal get away once, he will not lose him a second time.


His teeth piece Will's flesh--the mixture of pain and pleasure makes Will feel light headed and unsure--he moans and whines and writhes beneath Hannibal. Fighting with himself to allow this or to push Hannibal away and take control back.


He gives into his instincts and rolls them--Hannibal's leg is still draped over Will's arm--the position allows Will to thrust deeply inside of Hannibal. Hannibal's other leg wraps around Will's back pulling him in closer. "Will, please." Hannibal begs.


Will's thrusts are hard and fast, pleasure building hot and fast in his belly. He wants to make Hannibal come first, "Touch yourself for me, baby, please." Will whines--it was supposed to come out as a command, but Will couldn't do it, he couldn't force himself to command Hannibal.


Hannibal obeys like it's a command though, gripping his cock, stroking quickly, bearing down onto Will.


Blood and sweat and lube coat their skin--sweat drips from Will's brow as he looks down to Hannibal, and that's when he sees it. St first he thinks his own sweat or possibly Hannibal's has washed away some of the blood on his face, but no, it can't be. Hannibal has tears running down the sides of his face, fresh, wet tear tracks show Hannibal's skin through the blood.


Why is Hannibal crying? Is Will hurting him? Is he sad about Antony's death?


Will swipes through the tears with his thumb, "Baby, why are you crying?"


"I'm alright, Will, don't worry about it." Hannibal pushes down to meet Will's thrusts.


He does not want to let this go so easily, but he also does not want to ruin the moment.


Warmth and wetness spreads between them, Hannibal moans the sound is broken though--but does not sound sad or painful. The way Hannibal's body constricts around Will's cock, causes his hips to stutter, pace to falter momentarily, before fucking into Hannibal with renewed vigor. Hannibal's tears still unnerve him, but he doesn't not let them stop him.


Will thrusts once, twice more before pulling out, "You will release inside of me." Hannibal all but growls. Will strokes his cock, chasing friction and pleasure. The first drop of cum lands on Hannibal's thigh, he grabs at Will, guiding him to push back inside. Will's cock pulses, he shallowly thrusts as he comes inside of Hannibal.


He collapses on top of Hannibal--he feels boneless and weak, but so incredibly satisfied.


The midday sun is bright through the windows, but all Will wants to do is sleep. "Will you cook him for me?" Will murmurs against Hannibal's chest.


Hannibal is silent for a while, but just when Will thinks that maybe he is asleep, "You truly wish for me to cook for you? Knowing where the ingredients come from."


"You've fed me countless times, have I ever once complained? I want to share this with you, Hannibal."


His arms wrap tightly around Will, "You need to let me up then. I will go and harvest the viable organs and then take care of the body and the mess. You can get cleaned up and then rest, I'll wake you when dinner is ready."


"After you dispose of him, will you come back to me?"


"Come back to you?"


"Shower and then lay with me."


"You want to cuddle, mylimasis?" His tone is teasing and Will feels the urge hide in the blankets.




The sun is setting when Hannibal leads Will to the table, the food smells delicious, and a glance to the living room confirms that Hannibal has cleaned and disposed of all traces of Antony.


"Red or white?" Hannibal's voice is soft, hand on Will's lower back. He pulls the chair out for Will and pushes it in slightly once Will is seated.


"Whichever you think will go best."


"White then, there's already some in the sauce."


"What exactly have you prepared for us, Hannibal?"


"Rognoncini trifolati."


"Sauteėd kidneys in a white wine and garlic sauce. Buttered, roasted potatoes and zucchini."


"It smells delicious, baby."


Hannibal smiles as he places the glass of wine in front of Will. "Thank you, mylimasis."


He sits across from Will and they eat, Will doesn't hesitate even for a second to eat the meat on his plate. "Will you tell me why you were crying earlier?" He asks.


"It was nothing, mylimasis."


"Clearly it was something , Hannibal."


"Will, I was simply overwhelmed."


"Overwhelmed by what?"


"I cannot say."




"Emotion, pleasure, passion, I cannot say, because I do not truly know. Everything at once perhaps."


Will hums, and considers what Hannibal is saying--on the one hand he wholeheartedly believes Hannibal, on the other he's been manipulated by Hannibal one too many times.. what if he's lying and Will actually was hurting him, or he was upset about Antony. Will shakes his head, "Okay, okay, but you would tell me if I hurt you, right?"


"I assure you that I was not hurt."


"That's not what I asked."


"Yes, Will, I would tell you."


"Thank you."


They eat in silence for a while after that--the air feels thick from the tension between them.


"Hannibal, I have to ask.. I know you came here with Bedelia. Antony told me you were married before him, where is she?"


"Bedelia is fine, Will. She has a quiet seaside home in Tropea. She's likely properly drunk on wine as we speak, pulling young men into her bed. She's living her best life Will."


"In fear that you will come for her at any moment?"


"Yes, and no. I will not go after her unless she gives me reason to."


"Oh." Will says sadly.


"You seem upset by that, mylimasis."


"I wouldn't say upset, but I rather would've liked to make a meal out of her with you."


Hannibal tilts his head to the side, takes a sip of wine, "There is still time, Will. Are you feeling jealous of her?"


"Did you fuck her, Hannibal?"


"I did."


Will's nostrils flare, he knew that already--suspected at least, but hearing Hannibal confirm it out loud is upsetting. "Oh."


"Mylimasis, please, do not be upset, it was nothing more than,"


"Stop, I don't care." Will interrupts. "It's fine, it happened but it's over."


"It will never happen again."




"Yes, Will?"


"I-if you could go back in time, would you?"


"Without hesitation."


"How far would you go back? To before Mischa was taken from you? To before you met me? To before gutting me and leaving me in a puddle of my own and Abigail's blood?" Will shakes as he speaks, he's forgiven Hannibal for what happened, he understands Hannibal's side of it. But he's still angry, and still hurt by it.


"If you are asking me if I would go back to that night and have things play out differently, then yes, I would. I would see the teacup brought back together again."


"I am not a fragile teacup, Hannibal."


"I did not intend to imply that, mylimasis. I only meant that I would not have been so hasty in my actions."


"Hasty? Hannibal you framed me for Abigail's murder, shoved her ear down my throat. Got me locked up, gutted me, killed Abigail in front of me and still I forgave you. You were not hasty, Hannibal. You had so many chances to just not do shit and yet, you still did."


Hannibal sighs, "I am truly sorry, Will. You are correct in your assessment, there were many opportunities for me to just stop, and I did not. I would say that I never intended to hurt you, but that was my exact intent. I do not have regrets, Will, but I would go back and change what has happened between us, if given the chance."


"I wouldn't go back."




"I wouldn't go back, I would not change our history, Hannibal. Despite hating what's happened between us, all the pain and anguish, I wouldn't erase that. It's part of our becoming." Will pauses, finishes off his glass of wine. "You're a bastard, Hannibal, but I wouldn't change our past. Do I wish some--most things hadn't happened? Absolutely. But without them happening, we wouldn't be here."


"No, we wouldn't be."


"Maybe we could be sitting in your home in Baltimore right now, instead of here in Florence, waiting for the police to show up any moment. But as long as I am with you, I'm happy."




"No, Hannibal listen to me, please."


Hannibal nods.


"When I arrived and found you with Antony I was immediately jealous. I followed you both around for a month before finally approaching him, I had this all planned out, this wasn't some spur of the moment thing, it was no coincidence that I ended up here with him, precisely when I knew you would arrive home. I wanted to get caught. I wanted you to be jealous. I wanted you to scream and yell, but you didn't, and I thought maybe you just didn't care. But I know that's not true. I know you care for me, Hannibal."


"Yes, do you care for me, Will?"


"More than I ever thought I would."


Hannibal smiles, stands and picks their empty plates and glasses up from the table. "I will only be a moment. Would you like more wine?*


"No, thank you." Will had meant to say more, to confess things to Hannibal that he, himself is still unsure of, but he couldn't do it--Will feels as if he's failed somehow.


Hannibal returns a few minutes later, he holds his hand out to Will, "Come to bed with me."


"It's too early for that."


"I would like to lay with you, if you are amenable."


"I'd like nothing more than that right now."




The room is dark and quiet save for their breathing. Will rests against Hannibal, his arms wrapped around Will. His head rests on Hannibal's bare chest--Will had never thought about it before but the graying hair covering Hannibal's chest is soft and fluffy against his cheek.


Hannibal's breathing is even, and every now and then Will thinks he hears him snore lightly--he knows if he ever said so to Hannibal that he would insist he does not snore, Will thinks it's cute, honestly, it makes Hannibal seem human .


Will cannot seem to fall asleep, no matter what he tries--maybe it's leftover adrenaline from their kill, maybe he's afraid that this has all been a dream, or he fears that he will wake up alone with a note from Hannibal saying he can't stay, that they can't be .


He sighs--he's neither sad nor exorbitantly happy, but he's finally ready to say it , and Hannibal is asleep. Fuck it. "I love you." He whispers into the dark room.


He doesn't expect a reply.


A few moments pass, Hannibal's embrace tightens, "You love me? Truly, Will?"


"I think I've loved you for a very long time, I just wasn't ready to admit it."


"Tell me, when was the first time you thought you loved me?"


"Hell, it was such a long time ago."


"Tell me. Please." Hannibal urges.


"When you climbed into that fucking ambulance and saved that man. Your hands and arms were slick with his blood and you looked at me, and I nearly fell to my knees, the feeling was so intense."


"And would you like me to tell you when I first recognized my feelings for you?"




"The attraction was instantaneous. The first time I recognized that my feelings for you were more than simple attraction was when you were looking for the lost boys , something about the way you handled that particular case helped me realize." Hannibal strokes Will's arm as he speaks. "But when Tobias Budge came to my office and told me he had killed two men and I thought you were dead, that's when I knew that I was in love with you."


"You really were worried that he had killed me?"


"That is what fueled me during my fight with him. I had hoped to avenge you, Will."


"But then when you saw I was alright, then what?"


"I was incredibly relieved, though saddened that my feelings were not reciprocated."


"But, I just told you, I did love you then."


"I did not know that, Will, and then things became complicated and I thought I had lost all chance of you ever loving me, but then you came to me upon your release from the BSHCI and I thought maybe.." his sentence trails off unfinished.


"You thought maybe you hadn't completely fucked everything up, and then you thought that I had betrayed you. Christ, Hannibal, I am so sorry."


"You needn't apologize, mylimasis."


They fall back into silence, and just as Will starts to drift off he hears Hannibal murmur, "I love you too, Will." He falls asleep with a smile on his face, they will figure out where to go tomorrow--they cannot stay here any longer, Florence is dangerous now and perhaps someone will take note of Antony's disappearance and come snooping around. But that is tomorrow's problem, for now Will is content to sleep next to Hannibal knowing that he feels the same.