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The Inner Thoughts and Worries

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Eve didn't have a lot of faith in her capability to date again, not after what happened with her last relationship.

 

Whether it's on purpose or not, she scares anyone close to her including the ones she loves most and she had to convince herself that it wouldn't change. Nobody will come to her exact level of understanding, seeing the world how she did and supporting her endeavors. Zuke had one feature down but not the other and that's the closest she believed anyone would come. Perhaps that is just destiny, that she wouldn't be with anyone and will forever remain incomplete without a sea to meet her land.

 

Though as much as she keeps telling herself this, it wouldn't explain how she got stuck between the two members of Bunk Bed Junction on the dingy couch in their, decently clean enough, sewer home.

 

Somehow she found herself here. Somehow Mayday, no longer the pedestrian girl Eve had only seen her as, had wrapped her arms around Eve's midsection in a tight hold as she snored away against her chest. Somehow Zuke, once lost to her but now back to rekindle their relationship, was leaning against her with his head on Eve's shoulder, his sleeping face practically buried in her neck. Somehow the soft noise of the music above them and the low lighting of the sewers had brought both peace and nerves to her mind. The peace from all the worries that constantly swarmed through her mind like a mass abstract work. The nerves that her worries may be correct that this wouldn't last long.

 

Zuke let out a small mumble in his sleep before nuzzling back into her neck. That set off Mayday to adjust and hug herself closer to Eve as well. Both of them managed to get one of her arms around them each, however she doesn't remember when her other four arms popped out to follow through. Protective instinct? Clinging worry? She wouldn't know.

 

The two of them brought such flutters to her chest, it was surreal. Her revived feelings for Zuke and the new blooming one for Mayday both took her heart like a swarm.

 

It scared her if anything.

 

Having two people she liked in a relationship with her as if they were wondrous masterpieces she was fortunate enough to gaze her eyes upon. Experiences like that only last but such a small time, but she did not want this one to end. She begged it didn't end.

 

The thoughts went on, Eve losing track of how long she's been thinking. She can barely feel herself breathing, something clinging on for her for dear life. Something refusing to let go. Something-

 

"Nadia, are you alright?"

 

The sudden voice, or rather the call of her real name, was just the thing she needed to snap her out her thoughts. Looking over at her shoulder, she noticed Zuke gazing up at her with concern  and sleep in his eyes. Now that’s back in reality, she realized that the tight squeezing was from Mayday on her other side. Goodness that girl had a grip…

 

“Called your name like three times before, everything okay?” Zuke continued.

 

“A-Ah Zuke.. I’m fine, just a bit out of breath…” Eve tried to loosen the guitarist’s grip on her but to no avail unfortunately. Zuke caught on to this and let out a low chuckle, reaching over to gently tickle Mayday’s strong arm. It took a moment but soon her face scrunched up as she moved her arm away from the tickling, free Eve from the death grip. A blessing as always, Zuke.

 

“Heh sorry about that. She’s a massive cuddler and insanely strong as well, even I fall victim to her often.” Zuke jokes, relaxing back onto Eve’s shoulder, his arms folded over her own three around his mid-section.

 

“It’s fine, she’s adorable like this anyways.” Eve hums, a hand settling on May’s head.

 

“Definitely agree with that.”

 

“When she’s not incredibly loud.”

 

“Aw don’t be like that.”

 

The two share a laugh, their melodious giggles putting a smile on the sleeping May’s face - not that they noticed.

 

After their laughter died down, silence almost filled the room again if not for the guitarist’s soft snores. Zuke’s fingers began to drum against Eve’s arms, slowly but with rhythm as well. The same peace Eve had previously started to return, but she knew that the thoughts would soon follow. Frustration took over her face, though she couldn’t hide it from Zuke.

 

“Seriously though, sure you’re doing okay? You know we’re always willing to hear you out, Eve.”

 

He’s such a sweetheart, just as he’s always been. Admittedly, Eve should get her feelings and worries out instead of balling them up only to be released in a less appealing manner. However, she can’t bring herself to let the words out, choosing to only continue looking down at Mayday. Should she worry them about her grievances? They have enough concern about her already in Eve’s eyes. She doesn’t want to bring them down, to lash out like their battle long before, to scare them off like all the rest. Even with the reassurance, she couldn’t bring herself to answer properly; not yet anyways.

 

Instead, Eve responded, “I’ll be fine, Zuke. Perhaps I just need to nap myself...” She gives him a small smile.

 

The debating look in his gaze causes a feeling of unease to settle in Eve, afraid of being caught right here, right now. That worry is soon extinguished when Zuke sat up slightly to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. He returns her small smile, now a startled expression, with a tired one as he heaved a yawn and closed his eyes back.

 

“If you say so Eve, don’t wanna push you with it. I hope you feel better though, me and Mayday…” Zuke’s voice trailed off, his conscious falling back into a restful sleep - leaving Eve to her lonesome once again.

 

No, not lonesome. It was anything but that. She wasn’t alone like before and that… Satisfied her for now. How could she complain when she had two lovely dears to keep her company and loved right now.

 

Maybe she can lay her worries to rest - a kiss on Mayday’s head. Maybe her inner thoughts can leave her alone for once - a kiss upon Zuke’s temple. Maybe she is deserving of this. Eve closes her eyes and eases into the couch to join the fellow nap session.

 

Maybe she can finally enjoy herself. Just for now.