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Summary
Cas is sick and Dean finds a journal that Cas kept about his time alone as a human.
This fic is a retelling of first half of S9 from Cas's POV (via Cas's journal). Lots of Cas angst/loneliness and a correspondingly equal volume of Dean guilt. Sick fic, hurt/comfort, journal fic, and a Christmas fic too.
NO SLASH but the entire thing features a strong Cas/Dean friendship.
Destiel readers: This entire fic can be read as pre-Destiel (or not, as you prefer), and if you would like to read it that way, I also wrote an optional, explicit, Destiel epilogue chapter just for you guys. :)
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