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It Was Only A Kiss

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What had he expected? Of course Kurt would go back to Blaine. Sebastian was a fun distraction for a while, but he's no Blaine Anderson. Not that he saw the appeal of Blaine anymore, of course, now that he saw Kurt, but... well, apparently Kurt still saw the appeal, because there's no way that wasn't a movie date.

He has no right to be as angry about it as he is. He knows that. He's the one who had insisted on having nothing to do with Kurt, he doesn't get to have an opinion on what Kurt does with his life now that Sebastian isn't in it. Hell, he didn't have that right before, either, but at least then he could try to talk some sense into the other boy if he was doing something stupid like getting back together with Blaine fucking Anderson.

What does Kurt think he's doing? Kurt knows what Blaine is like, they've talked about this. Kurt broke up with Blaine for a reason, has he just... forgotten about all of that? Does he think Blaine has changed? Because Sebastian is pretty sure Blaine hasn't changed at all, if anything he's learned that he can do whatever he wants and still get Kurt back in the end, apparently. Why is Kurt being so stupid, it's like he's asking for it–

Shit. No. Kurt isn't asking for it. Sebastian is an idiot, how could he even start to think that? Of course Kurt isn't asking for it, nobody asks for that, god, Sebastian of all people should know that nobody asks for that, and now he feels like the biggest asshole for even letting the thought enter his mind.

Sebastian knows Kurt's other friends don't know what Blaine is really like behind closed doors, how Blaine treated Kurt when nobody was around to see. Kurt wouldn't – or couldn't – tell them, and Sebastian doesn't blame him, but that also means there's nobody else to try to talk Kurt out of this. Sebastian is the only one who knows. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if everyone else wants them to get back together.

Kurt needs him.

And, really, he knows that he needs Kurt, too. He can't stop thinking about the other boy. His usual coping mechanisms have just left him feeling worse – and, of course, he knows they aren't exactly healthy coping mechanisms, anyway – so at this point, he's out of options. He needs Kurt. He knows he can't have Kurt the way he wants to have him, but maybe he can have him as a friend, and that will just have to be enough. Because staying out of Kurt's life is not working.

It's been a month since he decided he needed Kurt back in his life. A month full of trying to talk himself out of it, going back to those coping mechanisms again and again, even though he knows it's not working, just hoping that one night it might. A month full of nights showing up to Scandals and letting the older men hit on him until it just feels wrong, and then he leaves in a hurry, the man of the night left at the bar with a look of confusion – and sometimes irritation or anger, those are always the worst nights – on his face. Tonight is another one of those nights.

"Hey sexy, everything okay? You seem kind of distracted."

The man sitting at the bar with him isn't even very attractive, below Sebastian's usual standards, but he's desperate to feel something other than the fog of confusion and hurt that's been consuming him since his big fight with Kurt, and the bar is pretty empty tonight, so he figures it will be fine.

It's not fine.

He doesn't want to go home with this man, doesn't want to talk to him, doesn't want to even look at him, doesn't want to look at anybody unless that somebody is Kurt.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling well," he mumbles, and it was meant to be an excuse but as he says it he realizes it's actually kind of true. "I think I'll just head home."

"Come on baby, I'm sure it will pass. Let me buy you another drink," Stephen – that's what the man had introduced himself as earlier – insists, running his hand along the inside of Sebastian's thigh.

"No, I think I just need to go home," Sebastian insists, standing to leave, and wow he really isn't feeling good, he's dizzy, and before he realizes what's happening he's stumbling and Stephen is standing up, catching him and looping an arm around his waist to support him.

"Wow, you weren't lying, were you?" the man asks with a concerned tone. "I'll drive you home, come on," and then Stephen begins leading Sebastian out of the bar.

"I'm fine," Sebastian says, although he feels anything but; but there's no way he's getting in a car with this man.

"Don't be ridiculous, you've clearly had way too much to drink, you're in no state to get home by yourself. Don't worry about it, I'll take care of you."

By now they're outside in the parking lot, and he's confused, doesn't know what's going on, the world is spinning, but he knows that he cannot get in a car with this man.

"'m fine," he mumbles, slurring a little, and god he's only had a drink and a half, he should not be slurring his words, but he manages to pull free from the man's grasp.

He stumbles away a few feet before falling to the ground, landing hard on his ass, but at least the world feels a little more stable now that he has something more solid than his legs supporting him.

"What are you doing?" he hears Stephen grumble. "Come on, let's go."

He feels the man's hands grabbing at his arms, hauling him up off the ground, and he tries to pull away but the older man's grip on him is strong and he's having a bit of a hard time coordinating his limbs to do anything let alone fight someone off.

"Everything okay here?"

It's another male voice, deeper than Stephen's.

"Yeah, he's just had a bit too much tonight, I told him I'd drive him home."

That's not true, he barely even drank anything.

"Hey kid, everything alright?"

Sebastian looks at the new man. He's short and wide, a dark cowboy hat perched atop his head. Sebastian just shakes his head, not really sure he can make words come out.

"Alright, why don't we get you back inside," the man in the hat says, looping an arm around Sebastian to support his weight and pulling him away from Stephen, "and give someone a call to come pick you up, huh?"

Sebastian just nods.

"Really, I don't mind driving him home, it's on my way anyway," Stephen explains.

"I bet it is," the new man replies incredulously. "What's his address?"

Stephen splutters a bit, before finally muttering something about how he was just trying to help and then he must get in his car to leave because the man in the hat is guiding him back inside the bar.

"I'm Greg, " the man introduces himself once they're back inside and seated at a table, "what's your name, kid?"

"Sebastian," he replies quietly, finally finding the ability to speak.

"Alright Sebastian, you got someone I can call to come pick you up?" The man already has his phone somehow, Sebastian isn't really sure when that happened, but he can't really bring himself to care at this point.

"Kurt." He doesn't think about the answer, just knows he wants Kurt, knows he needs Kurt, and he knows that Kurt wouldn't say no to him even after everything. And maybe he doesn't deserve it, but he can't be bothered to care about that right now.

"Kurt. Alright kid, you just hang tight, and I'll give this Kurt guy a call for you, okay?"

"Yeah," Sebastian agrees as he lays his head down on the table, because he really is just exhausted, and maybe if he closes his eyes the world will stop spinning.

The first thing Sebastian realizes when he wakes up is that he has the worst headache he has ever experienced in his entire life.

The next thing he realizes is that he's not in his bed.

He squints his eyes open and looks around. He recognizes the room, knows he's been here before but can't remember where here is over the pounding in his head and the haze that hasn't quite lifted and then he sees him and–

Oh. Kurt. This is Kurt's room. He's in Kurt's room, in Kurt's bed. He'd been at Scandals, and there was that man, and then the other man who had called Kurt for him, and then... well, he doesn't remember anything after that. The rest of the night is gone. But apparently Kurt had answered that call, and Kurt had come to pick him up, because now he's laying in Kurt's bed and the boy he hasn't spoken to in months is sitting about ten feet away from him, back to him as he rubs something into his face at his vanity.

Sebastian feels his stomach heave, and he rolls to the side just in time to vomit all over the hardwood floor.

Kurt is there in an instant, stroking his hair as he heaves again, though there's not much left in his stomach after the first time so not much comes up. He spits onto the floor – his mouth tastes gross, and it's not like a bit of spit is going to make that mess any worse – then rolls onto his back again and closes his eyes.

He feels the bed shift with Kurt's weight, feels the hand still stroking his hair softly. "Hey, you're okay," Kurt's voice whispers soothingly to him, "I've got you. You're okay."

"Water," Sebastian rasps.

"Right here," Kurt says, seemingly materializing a bottle from thin air and handing it to him. "Here, sit up," Kurt coaxes, and Sebastian shifts in the bed, Kurt helping to pull him into somewhat of an upright position against the headboard.

Sebastian takes a sip of water then closes his eyes and tries to will his headache away.

It's not working.

"Advil?" Kurt asks softly, and when Sebastian squints an eye open to look, he sees Kurt holding out a couple small red pills in his hand. Sebastian pops them into his mouth and chases them with another sip of water, closing his eyes again and resting his head back against the headboard.

"You should try to get some more sleep," Kurt says, tugging gently at Sebastian until he's lying back down in the bed, then taking the water bottle from him and laying the blankets over him again.

He's not sure how much later it is when he wakes up again, but his pounding headache has eased to a dull throb, and he doesn't feel nauseous anymore, although his mouth still tastes foul. He sits up in the bed, and looks around the room; it's dark, the lights are off, and Kurt has drawn the curtains to keep the sunlight out, although he can see it peeking through around the edge so it's definitely still daytime. He looks around the room and finds a clock; just after 2. Well, there's half the day gone.

He swings his legs over the side of the bed, plants his feet on the ground. He looks down and remembers there used to be a pool of his vomit here, and Kurt must have cleaned it up, and oh god what is he going to say to Kurt? But Kurt isn't even here right now, he must be somewhere else in the house, and oh god what is he going to say to Kurt's family? Do they know that Sebastian was here last night? Because Sebastian doesn't actually remember being here last night, but he woke up here this morning so he must have been.

He runs a hand through his hair and tips his head back to stare up at the ceiling. That man... he could have woken up somewhere very different this morning if it weren't for the other man in the cowboy hat. He doesn't even remember his name, just the hat. He remembers Stephen's name, though. He remembers with an uncanny clarity the man who all but carried him out of the bar, because Sebastian wasn't even capable of taking 5 steps on his own, which now that his head is a bit clearer he realizes really doesn't make any sense at all, he'd barely had anything to drink, there was no reason for him to be that out of it, unless...


Stephen had drugged him. He must have. It's the only explanation. He'd been distracted all night at the bar, he hadn't been paying attention, the man must have slipped something into his drink and he wasn't paying attention and he nearly let that man take him home high on god knows what and there was nothing he could do about it because he let it happen to himself and, god, what was he thinking going into that bar and not paying attention, he knows what men like that are like, knows how vigilant he needs to be and he let it happen and this isn't what's supposed to happen, this is supposed to make him feel strong and powerful and in control but he wasn't in control last night, he didn't have any say last night, he couldn't do anything last night, if that man in the hat hadn't shown up when he did Sebastian could be anywhere right now and–

"Hey, hey, you're okay, it's okay, just breathe."

Kurt is sitting on the bed beside him, arms wrapped around his shoulders, and he wonders why Kurt is shaking him until he realizes it's him that's shaking.

"Come on, breathe with me, okay? In... out... in... out..."

He tries to time his breathing with Kurt's words, with Kurt's breaths, and slowly he feels himself calm down. Kurt's arms are still wrapped around him, a hand stroking gently along his arm. They sit there in silence for a while, until Sebastian's breathing has finally returned to normal, and then even longer, before Kurt finally speaks again.

"Are you... are you okay?" His tone is cautious, like he's not sure if it's a question he's allowed to ask.

"I'm fine."

"Sebastian," Kurt says, unconvinced.

"I said I'm fine," he snaps, a little more harshly than he means to.

"Okay," Kurt concedes, letting his arms fall away from Sebastian.

"I should go," he decides, standing up and starting for the door, but then he stops when he remembers his car isn't here, and he doesn't know where his phone, so he doesn't really have a way to leave. He turns back to look at Kurt. "Do you uh... do you know where my phone is?"

"It's right there," Kurt says, pointing to the bedside table next to where Sebastian had been sleeping, and of course it is. He makes his way back across the room to grab it.

"I can drive you to get your car if you want," Kurt offers carefully.

Sebastian considers the offer for a moment; if he refuses, then he'll just be sitting around Kurt's house waiting for a cab to pick him up anyway. Either option means he'll have to talk to Kurt. "Yeah, okay," he agrees.


Sebastian grabs his phone, then follows Kurt out to his car. They climb in and sit in silence as Kurt starts the car and pulls out of the driveway onto the road, and the silence hangs over them until they're about half way to Scandals and Kurt finally speaks.

"So are we going to talk about this at all?"

"Talk about what?"

"I don't know, anything? You cut me out of your life out of nowhere, for months, and then I get a call out of the blue to come pick you up from a bar in the middle of the night basically unconscious and you just expect me to... to what? Act like this is normal?"

"That would be nice actually," Sebastian mutters, keeping his eyes on the road ahead, but he sees Kurt shoot him a look in his peripheral vision. "I'm sorry."

Kurt sighs. "So after I drop you off, then what? Are you going back to not speaking to me?"

"I don't know."

Another sigh.

"Look, if you don't want me in your life, that's fine, okay? But, don't you think I at least deserve to know?"

"I don't want that," he says quietly.

"Don't want what?"

"I don't want you not in my life."

Kurt is silent for a moment before he responds. "Okay. So where does that leave us?"

"We could... try to be friends again?'

"Okay," Kurt agrees.

"Okay?" He almost can't believe it's this easy. But, then again, of course it is.


Kurt always has been so forgiving. He really is too good for Sebastian.