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Scout will admit it. He was startled when Spy had demanded he seduce him. Not that he’s startled easily, mind you, he knows everything that’s happening all the time and is the best at anticipating things.

Ahem. Anyway.

He had assumed Spy would teach him more how to ask Miss Pauling out, not how to go on a date with her. He knows how to treat a lady. Well, kind of. Not really. How hard could it be?

Apparently super hard, if the way their training is going shows anything. So what if he doesn’t know how to properly eat dinner? Or dance? Or know that it’s “”rude”” to draw him blowing Spy’s brains out? Who let Spy decide what’s “proper” anyway??

Then Scout remembers the look on Miss Pauling’s face when he attempted to ask her out last. “So, we’re both busy,” rings through his head and something inside him dies whenever he thinks about it.

So here he is. Listening to Spy drone on about “demeanor”, probably something to do with not being one of his usual “fried chicken tramps”, whatever that means. He knows women like fried chicken. What’s wrong with bringing that up?

“So, go ahead and practice on me.”

The words don’t quite float through Scout’s consciousness until Spy smacks his desk with the teaching stick and he has to repeat himself.

“Practice, uhh, what- what was that? What’s up?” Scout asks, pasting a smile on. That teaching stick hurts.

Spy sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose. Takes a moment to compose himself, replaying the moment Scout admitted Spy was better than him. It was a great moment. “Practice seducing me, Scout. I fear for Miss Pauling without double-checking your readiness for this date.”

“Wh- I’m more ready than ever, for your information! I can’t just- I’m not gonna-“ Scout sputters, the words “seduce” and “Spy” not connecting in his mind.

“Fine. Enjoy your failed date with Miss Pauling. I’m sure she won’t remember it forever,” Spy smiles in a detached way, setting the stick down and brushing his suit off of imaginary dust.

“No, wait!” Scout starts in his seat, eyes wide. “No, I’ll- fine, fine, I’ll practice with you, just- hang on?”

The corner of Spy’s mouth twitches upwards, and he settles against the blackboard. “Very well.”

Scout pauses and takes a breath, then stands up, getting the “props” (read: bucket of chicken) from nearby. He walks up to Spy, standing casual but poised against the wall, and chews on his lip before starting. “Hey there… beautiful.” Remembering starting off with “I got a bucket a’ chicken” and getting smacked for it, he changes tracks. “I like… eatin’ dinners by the candlelight with, uhh, a nice bottle a’ wine. If you’re not busy, I could plan one a’ those f- for us?” he ends on a question mark, watching every muscle of Spy’s face and not being able to figure out a fucking thing he’s thinking.

“Very well. I’ll go out with you,” Spy responds, still without a facial expression, before shooing Scout towards the dinner table. “That was adequate. I expect Miss Pauling will like more confidence, with an edge on caring about her schedule and what she wants, so keep that in mind. Still, not bad.”

Scout grins, but the glee is short-lived as they settle at the dining table to “eat dinner”. Spy asks him, “Dinner topics to avoid?” and the first thing Scout can think of is, “Uhh, her weight.”

“That’s not-“ Spy rolls his eyes. “Yes, but not what I meant. You want to avoid talking about your past flings. You like to do that. Avoid work, because she works all the time, and avoid asking her about all the dirty work she has to do for her job. It’s hard to drink a nice glass of red wine while she tells you about sanding the fingerprints off corpses, particularly when the corpses were your fault.”

Scout drums his fingers on the table, getting antsy sitting in one place for too long and not getting to talk. “Right. Uh-huh.”

“And don’t do that. That’s distracting,” Spy states, clipped, swiping Scout’s hand off the table. “So, you get through dinner. What’s next?”

“I, uhh. Ask if she wants to dance? You did teach me that for a reason, right?”

“Yes, which you’ve gotten after many painstaking hours. Congratulations. You’ll sweep her off her feet, hopefully metaphorically. What music do you put on?”

“Somethin’ classy, right? One a’ your stupid classical records or somethin’?”

“Scout, call something of mine ‘stupid’ again and I’m leaving.”

“Right, yeah, sorry.”

“But yes, something you can slow dance to, dip her. And then?”

“Uhh. We didn’t get that far. I dunno, ask if she wants to spend the night?”

“Scout, this is your first date.”

“Yeah?”

Spy pauses and looks up at the ceiling, wondering who cursed him with this. “What makes you think a woman would- ‘put out’ on the first date?”

“I dunno, she’s a busy lady! Maybe she knows she’s not gonna get the chance to sleep with the most amazing thing God has to offer anytime soon,” Scout responds with a grin, leaning back in his chair with his hands linked behind his head.

“When was the last time you had sexual intercourse with someone?”

“Uhhh.” Scout stops in his tracks, unlinking his hands so he can do some math on his fingers. “We been out here for a while now, so that’s… and before that, there mighta been that girl, during… the summer? Or maybe it was later than that-“

“Scout, if you have to think about it, it’s been too long.”

“Screw you.”

“Only if you ask nicely,” Spy responds with a teasing smile, before smoothing right over the flushing on Scout’s face and right into, “So maybe she comes inside for a nightcap. She’ll have higher standards than one of your usual lovers. You’re ready for that?”

“Um.” Scout’s brain is still stuck. “Ye- yeah, a’ course! I have been with- SO so many women, I know my way around!”

Spy’s lips tighten, before he says, “Really.”

“Yeah!”

“Fine. You have a woman in your bed. Maybe Miss Pauling. Where do you start?”

“W-“ Scout frowns. “What do you mean, where do I start? Obviously I kiss her and feel her up-“

“Stop. You what?”

“What part’s not clickin’ for ya? I couldn’t be more clear.”

“Always wait for her to make the first move, or ask first. You don’t want to make her uncomfortable, and consent is key.”

“Oh, right, right, okay. So she goes for me- ‘cause who could resist all a’ dis?- and we’re kissin’ n’ she lets me feel her up-“

“Meaning?”

“Oh. Uh. Well, in the- y’know, with all the other women I’ve definitely made sex with, I go for her ass or tits-“

“Just those?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Scout, the human body is a wondrous thing full of many weak points. And no, I’m not talking about for shooting or stabbing. I’m talking about erogenous zones.”

“Rogin zones. Got it.”

Spy sighs, but continues, “Spots on someone’s body that will turn them on. Find them, and make the experience better for the other person.”

“But how will I know when I’ve found them?”

“Audio or visual cues.”

“I- I mean, I guess so, but don’t you have, like, a practice dummy for this? You have the dummy I danced with!”

“I don’t own that, Scout, that belongs to the team. And no, I don’t have a sex doll, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“But- this could be the last time I have sex ever! I can’t disappoint Miss Pauling!”

“How unfortunate. I suppose you’ll just have to intake whatever information I give you, although I know that’s difficult for you,” Spy replies dryly.

Scout isn’t listening though, and Spy can almost see the gears slowly turning in his mind. Like watching a slow-mo car crash. “Let me practice on you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve had sex with men before! Lots of men, in fact. So many. I know it’s not the same, but y’know, it’s been a while- not super long, I’ve got ladies- and men!- linin’ up to have sex with me- and I need ta last too, uhh, so we can- practice that- Spy, why aren’t you sayin’ anythin’.”

Spy had been sitting there, feeling more and more incredulous as Scout kept talking. It was… ludicrous. This isn’t what he signed up for. If he had written a last wish, he wouldn’t have chosen this, that’s for sure. Although, he supposes, if offered…

“Spy. Spy, I’ve made you a literal once-in-a-lifetime offer others would kill for. C’mon. Say somethin’. Spy. Spy. Sp-“

“Stop that.” He sighs. “Fine.”

“No, I get it, that’s fine, I’ll just- wait, what?” Scout looks up, shock written across his face. “Really? You’ll do it?”

“It’s not like I have anything better to do,” Spy shrugs, standing up and walking towards his room, gesturing for Scout to follow him. He can hear Scout scramble up, then jog to catch up with the other merc.

“I didn’t actually think you’d say yes- I mean, not that everyone isn’t jumpin’ at the chance to get with this- but I appreciate this, I promise I’ll show you a great time with all my experience and… and the things I know-“

“Scout, this will be a lot easier if you don’t ramble,” Spy interrupts, opening the door to his room and gesturing the other inside.

“Yeah, no problem, I’ll do anythin’ you say, just give me the word,” Scout grins as he saunters inside, heading straight for the bed without any prompting on Spy’s part.

Spy strips off his coat and shoes, leaving him in his button-up and tie, before rolling up the sleeves. “Go ahead and pretend we’ve just come back from a date. First move?” he asks as he sits next to Scout on the bed, hands settled in his lap.

“Uhh.” Scout was distracted by the stripping and subsequent reveal of Spy’s forearms, but gets his brain back on track while kicking off his shoes. “I gotta… I gotta get consent first, obviously, so can I- can I kiss you?”

“Oui,” Spy replies, clipped, watching almost detachedly while Scout clambers onto his knees, takes Spy’s face in his hands and leans down to slot their lips together.

Almost immediately, Spy can feel Scout’s tongue prodding at his lips, and he pulls back, watching Scout open his eyes and look confused. “You don’t need to use your tongue right away. Let it build up.”

“Okay,” Scout replies, already looking a little flushed- anticipation?- before leaning down again, pressing his lips against Spy’s and NOT trying to stick his tongue into Spy’s mouth this time.

It’s weird for a second, either would admit that, but Scout tilts his head a little bit and loops his arms around Spy’s neck, and it feels really nice to feel the other merc’s lips move against his own, especially when Spy’s hands land on his waist to tug him closer. The slick sound as their lips slide together makes Scout flush, tilting his head the other way and shuffling closer to Spy.

Spy pulls back a little, enough to murmur, “Now you can use your tongue, if you’d like.”

“Hunh? Okay,” Scout needs a second to process the words- all the blood leaving his brain for other regions, probably- before he presses his lips against Spy’s, moving for just a few seconds, before sliding his tongue along Spy’s lips, clearly asking for permission.

Spy lets him in, opening his mouth and feeling Scout’s tongue move against his, albeit without any tact or precision, it seems. He lets the younger merc explore his mouth for a bit, before sliding his tongue into the other’s mouth, showing him exactly what to do with it. This prompts a first moan from Scout, which makes the corner of Spy’s mouth twitch upwards before he’s withdrawing his tongue to bite down on Scout’s lower lip. A shaky breath leaves the runner, before he’s pulling back and stripping his shirt off. “We gotta get undressed, like, yesterday.”

“It’s only polite to undress your partner,” Spy offers with a smile, fingers gently tugging at the loops in Scout’s pants.

“Aw, dat’s nice- oh wait, you mean you, right, a’ course,” Scout mutters, undoing Spy’s tie, then the buttons on his shirt, stripping both off. Then his hands go right to Spy’s fly, but he remembers to look up first. “Dis okay?”

“Very good, and yes.”

Scout shoots him a grin and undoes the other’s pants, noting the distention with a swallow, before helping him strip them off, and goes for his own pants next, throwing them to the side while watching Spy lie down in the center of the bed. He tentatively moves between the other’s legs, hesitating for a second before leaning down and kissing the other again, lips now familiar against his own. After a second, he slides his mouth down to the other’s collarbone, neck blocked by his mask.

“Now would be your opportunity to find the other’s erogenous zones,” Spy reminds him, voice mostly unaffected. Mostly.

Scout hums, working his teeth and tongue on a mark above the other’s collarbone, while moving his hands up from Spy’s waist, feeling up his abdomen-

“Slower.”

“Hmm?” Scout hums questioningly, pausing his hands mid-ribcage.

“Move slower. Draw it out.”

Having to work slower is becoming a theme, Spy notes to himself, but not out loud.

Scout hums again, affirmatively this time, moving to start another mark on the opposite collarbone while slowing his hands’ ascent, feeling carefully over Spy’s stomach, up to his chest, cautiously feeling his nipples, clearly not used to the different equipment but getting the gist pretty quickly. He rocks his hips- slowly- against the other, feeling their hard cocks rub against each other through their underwear and making him whine, fingers pinching and flicking the other’s nipples. He feels Spy’s hands land on his hips, guiding Scout’s speed and pressing him closer.

“Mmm, Spy, I want- can I- let me-“ Scout can barely get his words out, overwhelmed by the feeling of rubbing up against the other merc.

“Would you like me to suck you off so you can practice lasting? Or do you want to fuck me?” comes the answer, clear if breathy.

Scout starts and looks up at the other merc, trying to see any hint of teasing or a joke in his face, but can’t find any. “Ya serious? You’d let me do that?”

“Whatever helps.”

“I- I want to… fuck you. If dat’s okay,” Scout adds hurriedly.

Spy shrugs, but Scout can see the darkening of his cheeks under his mask, as well as feel the way his hips twitch beneath his own. “Very well. Grab the lube from the drawer, s’il vous plait.”

While Scout leans over to dig through the bedside drawer, Spy slips off his underwear and tugs the other merc’s off, figuring he’ll have to do the heavy work. Once the younger merc returns with the tube, Spy guides him so they’re flipped over, Spy on top and leaning over Scout.

“Normally women will be wet, but you should always use more lube than you think you need. There’s no such thing as too much but there is definitely such thing as too little. I’ll prepare myself, and let you practice if you want stretching me out, and then you can fuck me. Okay?” Spy asks, popping open the tube.

“Yeah,” Scout mumbles, staring at Spy’s body and just a little too gone to be comprehending every word he’s saying.

Spy rolls his eyes but reaches back to prepare himself, stretching himself out slowly while he leans down- while he has the angle- to lick up the side of the other merc’s cock, killing two birds with one stone.

“Oh, fuck, Spy, dat’s it, fuck dat feels good-“ Scout moans as Spy takes his cock in his mouth, swallowing around it carefully while he works two fingers inside himself.

Scout is noisy. Spy learns this very quickly as a stream of curses and Spy’s name spills from his mouth, all the while hips twitching with the effort to not buck his cock right down the other merc’s throat. Scout has a feeling Spy wouldn’t appreciate that.

Spy lightens up, closing his lips around just the head of Scout’s cock while he gets closer to deeming himself ready, until he’s pulling his mouth off with a pop (and a whine from the other) and moving them around so Scout is back on top.

“Would you like to try fingering?” Spy offers. He’s open enough, but he fears for the women Scout might inevitably sleep with if he doesn’t get this down.

“I- yeah, okay,” Scout agrees, eyes locked onto the other’s nether regions, as he takes the bottle of lube Spy offers him and slicks up two fingers, carefully prods at the outside of Spy’s hole- teases at the rim, tugs a little, enough for a sharp inhale from Spy- and he’s sliding those fingers in, feeling him out carefully while he watches Spy’s face.

Spy’s eyebrows knit together as the other merc feels inside him, sliding his fingers slowly in and slowly back out, scissoring them a little bit and getting into the rhythm. “That’s it, that’s… just, a little deeper, and- faster- and if you aim right, there is a spot-“ he’s cut off as the other, eager in all his pursuits, finds said spot, hitting it dead-on and punching a gasp out of Spy.

“Dat’s it?”

Spy rolls his eyes- it was said in a teasing tone- but nods, as Scout continues to finger him, searching for that spot every slide in and managing to hit it a good number of those tries. Enough that Spy starts to moan, his cock throbbing from pent-up need and wanting something more inside him. “Alright, enough- you can- put your cock in now,” Spy clenches around the other’s fingers for emphasis, looking down at the runner.

“Oh, yeah, a’ course- yeah,” Scout mutters to himself, pulling his fingers out and slicking up his cock- even though it was still wet from Spy’s earlier ministrations- and using one hand to hold Spy’s leg out of the way, the other to guide his cock in.

As he first breaches Spy’s hole, they both gasp, and Scout’s turns into a moan as he slides the rest of the way home, cock secure inside of Spy. He has to pause a moment, getting used to the feeling, while Spy twitches his hips in encouragement, before he starts moving, sliding almost all the way out and thrusting back in.

“You can give them a moment, then go faster. Listen to their cues- for example, I am asking you to go faster,” Spy hisses, bucking his hips back against the other merc to encourage him to go harder.

Scout grumbles, but can’t muster the ire needed to snap back at Spy as he starts snapping his hips faster, using the hands on Spy’s leg and hip as leverage to fuck into him at the pace they apparently both desire. “Ah, fuck, Spy, you feel so good and tight-“

Spy can’t even roll his eyes in response, as the other merc had been managing to hit his prostate for a good chunk of his thrusts and the pleasure starts to overwhelm him, his own cock leaking onto his stomach.

“Fucking- shit- gonna make you cum first, though, I know my manners- aw shit-“ Scout moans, pounding into the other without abandon now, feeling unbelievably good as he gets closer. The sort-of blowjob from Spy earlier had really ramped him up, but he’s determined now, reaching with the hand that was on the other’s hip to stroke his cock in time with his thrusts, lube and now precum slathered on his hand.

Spy starts to moan, low and quiet but not impassionate, arching his back and not even bucking back against the other merc anymore as he’s going too fast for Spy to keep up. He grabs at the sheets, trying to hang on as he gets closer and closer, and feeling Scout’s hand wrap around his cock to jerk him off is almost too much, his mouth dropping open in an O, then gasping out, “Scout- getting- close-“

“Fuck yes,” Scout hisses, pounding as fast and hard as he can into the other and desperately trying to keep up the strokes of Spy’s cock but getting close to cumming is wiping his mind blank, for one need: to cum inside Spy. “Can I- Spy- please- inside-“

“Yes,” Spy moans- at least the merc remembered to ask- at the thought of the other cumming inside him, teetering right on the edge of cumming. Scout- maybe on purpose, maybe not- suddenly nails three hits on Spy’s prostate in a row, while twisting his hand around the head of Spy’s cock, and the older merc moans, back arching as he shoots all over himself.

Scout’s mouth is open in an O while he watches Spy cum all over himself, and he can only last another couple of seconds after that before he’s groaning and cumming inside the other merc, continuing to thrust until it’s too much and he pulls out, then collapses on the bed next to Spy.

“Well? Did you learn something useful, at least?” Spy murmurs next to him, already pulling out a cigarette and not even sounding that out of breath. Rude.

“Yeah, yeah, thanks for your help. I guess it was worth it tellin’ the whole freakin’ base that you’re better than me,” Scout rolls his eyes, then checks the clock. “Shit. I gotta go, we don’t have that much time left.”

“Then you’d better not waste it,” comes a reply tinged with a sarcasm, but Scout is already pulling his clothes back on and ignores the remark, then- double-checking he’s got everything on the right way- waves a two-fingered salute to the still-mostly-naked Spy and darts out the door.