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Can't Lose You Again

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Wei Ying walked hurriedly in front of him, still somewhat dry in the pouring rain while Lan Wangji was soaking wet.

“Lan Zhan stop trailing behind me. You’re so far away! Come closer to me and warm me up, I’m freezing.” Wei Ying complained.

Lan Wangji smiled slightly to himself. He knew Wei Ying was not actually freezing. He was just saying that so that he could keep Lan Wangji warm. His Lan robes were so wet that they were stuck to his body, drenching him from the inside out.

He huffed in response and took longer strides, wrapping his arms around himself as he tried to keep up with Wei Ying. “Wei Ying, slow down,” Lan Wangji said softly, but Wei Ying managed to miraculously hear him over the sounds of the rain.

Wei Ying was walking close to Lan Wangji but the rain made it hard to see him. Lan Wangji had to keep blinking to follow him with his eyes.

“Lan Zhan, I’m—” Wei Ying turned around, walking backwards with a smile as he spoke, and then he was gone. One moment he was in Lan Wangji’s sight, all warm eyes and sunny smiles, and the next, he had disappeared as though in thin air.

“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji called out, feeling a knot forming in his stomach. There was no response. “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji called out a little louder, but still there was no response. With his heart in his throat, he began to walk ahead, the road in front of him not clearly visible. “Wei Ying!”

He stopped after he had taken a few steps, the knot in his stomach growing as he realised why Wei Ying had disappeared. He had fallen. Down a cliff. The rain fell too heavily and there was fog everywhere. Lan Wangji could not see anything, he could not see how long the fall from the edge to the bottom of the cliff was.

Wei Ying could not have fallen down the cliff. Not again. Lan Wangji could not have failed him again. This time, he had not only failed to save Wei Ying, he had not grabbed his arm either. He had not even had time to reach out to him. Wei Ying could not be dead again. Lan Wangji could not have lost him like this a second time.

The terrifying memories that Lan Wangji had been trying to keep at the corner of his mind, came rushing to the centre of it as he replayed that moment sixteen years ago, when Wei Ying had left Lan Wangji’s hand and fallen down the edge of the cliff.

Before his thoughts could get dark, Lan Wangji heard a groan from somewhere next to him. “Lan Zhan,” a familiar voice spoke. “What are you doing so far away from me? Are you crying? You look like you’re crying.

Lan Wangji’s eyes widened as he scrambled towards the noise, and sure enough, it was Wei Ying. He had fallen on the ground, probably due to slipping in the rain. He had not fallen off of a cliff. He was in front of Lan Wangji. Alive and breathing, and not severely hurt or injured.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, pulling Wei Ying into his arms to kiss him deeply. Wei Ying kissed him back but looked confused as he pulled away.

“Lan Zhan, what—?”

“I thought I lost you again.” Lan Wangji said. When Wei Ying looked even more confused, he pointed to the cliff. “I thought you fell, again.”

Understanding dawned on Wei Ying’s face suddenly. “So that’s why you looked like you were crying. Lan Zhan, look at me.” Wei Ying cupped Lan Wangji’s face, his hands so, so warm. “I’m right here, okay? I’m alright and I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you a second time. I promise.”

Lan Wangji nodded his head, looking into those beautiful eyes and at that soft smile, and feeling slightly relieved. The knot in his stomach loosened slowly. “I love you,” Lan Wangji stated as he looked at Wei Ying. Wei Ying looked back with a startled expression and red splotches on his cheeks. “Wei Ying should be more careful,” he added.

“I will be, and I love you too, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying admitted, kissing Lan Wangji lightly on his cheek and whispering the confession in his ear.

Lan Wangji pulled Wei Ying onto his lap and kissed him again, rain and everything else be damned.