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the love you hold in your eyes (it only grows stronger)

Summary:

Kun and Ten are married and they’re ready to take the next step for their marriage--adoption. The road may be bumpy and the journey may be all sorts of unfamiliar for the two, but they find that they can overcome everything thrown their way as long as they’re together. One way or another, their own little sheep takes over their lives in a whirlwind of happiness and contagious giggles, laughter and smiles and Kun and Ten could not ask for anything more.

OR: Snippets of Yangyang growing up with his parents, Kun and Ten, learning a lot about the world in so many ways.

Notes:

dude did y’all see the behind the scenes for the year party video and how renyang were two peas in a pod the entire time and would Not let go of each other? yes it hurt my heart a lot. my heart? renyang can fucking take it, i dont need it.

yangyang got lots of screen time in the behind the scenes, honestly, THE SERVE. my babies getting everyone wrapped around his smol fingers, as he should.

AND THEN THAT ONE BEHIND THE SCENES VID FOR WAYV’S TIKTOK STAGE. kunten blatantly flirting while their Son yangyang is in the background being a cutie pie. (also not @ how ten legit called yangyang out for exposing his body too early and kun immediately agrees and clowns yangyang, these parental figures really are worried for their baby.)

talk to me about anything on twitter
don’t forget to leave a kudos if you liked it, and please drop comments! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
it inspires me to continue writing and shows me that u guys are still interested in what i write <33

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: pre-existence.

Summary:

Kun and Ten, and how they came to be.

Notes:

talk to me about anything on twitter
don’t forget to leave a kudos if you liked it, and please drop comments! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
it inspires me to continue writing and shows me that u guys are still interested in what i write <33

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kun and Ten were living the married life quite well, if they do say so themselves.

 It didn’t help that most of the people around them already considered them a married couple even prior to marriage--Lucas and Sicheng would endlessly tease the two older men about how extremely domestic they are, being parents to plant babies and grocery shopping together every weekend with shopping lists. 

It was quite shocking for everyone in their friend group to find out that they were together at first. They were one of the last couples to have coupled up in their friend group, but was also the one with the most history--though it took them time to transition from friends to lovers , their friends realized that it was the best way for them to have established the relationship. Kun and Ten weren’t like Doyoung and Jaehyun who were able to endure years of pining and misunderstandings for them to have blown up during an argument and confessed their years of pining after cursing each other out. They weren’t at all like Lucas and Sicheng, who were both so equally patient with each other yet so forward that the second time they meet as friends, Lucas is already asking for Sicheng’s hand in marriage (they were drunk and Lucas was convinced that Sicheng was an angel sent from above to help him through his drunken dumbassery). Obviously, Kun and Ten weren’t Taeyong and Johnny, either--so hopelessly in love with each other that all it took for Johnny to take Taeyong out on a date was for Taeyong to ask him to assemble an aquarium together for their apartment, so they could have their own little fish family. Kun and Ten wouldn’t really want to compare their relationship to Dejun and Hendery’s, though, as that would be too much.  Kun and Ten were barely like Dejun and Hendery, who took about a year of passive aggressive flirting before they were able to actually start flirting.

Throughout college, the two had been friends--comfortable enough that they’d get away with teasing and annoying each other, but Kun had always been closer to Sicheng, Lucas, and Doyoung. Kun was the responsible model student--good grades, perfect attendance (Ten’s pretty sure Kun only ever missed out on a class because he got too sick and Doyoung nagged him so much that Kun started to regret leaving the comfort of China for the promising future in South Korea), charming face and pristine attitude that made Kun popular to almost the entire student population and university faculty. Ten, on the other hand, was known for being at every party, doing well in his classes but also attending his classes hungover for the most part--Ten couldn’t help it, partying meant drunk dancing and dancing was a hobby that he brought along since he was able to walk on two feet. However,  this isn’t to say that Ten was completely irresponsible (Ten would argue that he was only partially irresponsible, but Taeyong and Johnny would say otherwise), after all, he took his course work very seriously. If Kun had been known as a prodigy in the linguistics and literature department, Ten was the star of the arts and design program--a highly requested and known eccentric, unique, avant garde fashion designer. Ten, unlike Kun, was known for his snarky and snappy remarks that often were the force of blunt honesty. Where Kun was perceived to be one of the most approachable people on campus, Ten was perceived to be one of the most intimidating. It would seem as if they were polar opposites, sitting on different sides of the spectrum, but this was what their history was built upon.

Though they weren’t particularly close, they bonded massively over the fact that they were foreigners to the harsh lands of South Korea--sure, it was the Asian New York City, where dreams are built on. But as dreams are built, some are crushed , and both Kun and Ten know this all too well. Aside from that, both were extreme Studio Ghibli fans, and would stop at nothing to convince Doyoung or Johnny to play Studio Ghibli films during movie nights--and because Qian Kun is  as much of a force to be reckoned with as Li Yongqin is, they end up playing Studio Ghibli, at least once a month, or twice if either of the two were particularly stressed. Where Ten would threaten their friends to play Studio Ghibli, Kun’s method of asking nicely rarely got anyone to decline him--Taeyong would always falter when Kun busts out the ‘please, hyung’ because Taeyong has a soft spot for Kun, even if its Ten that always drinks with him every time he’s heartbroken. Johnny would always melt into a puddle when Kun smiles at him in all his dimpled glory because Johnny is a weak, weak man, and an even weaker gay (Ten is convinced that Johnny had a crush on Kun at one point, but if he’s being honest, they all probably have had a crush on Kun at some point--its the dimples and the kind eyes, he’s pretty sure). Doyoung acts like he doesn’t care for his friends but Kun is pretty much the exception--college Doyoung would have pushed Ten (or maybe even Jaehyun) off a cliff if Kun had asked him to. Lucas would also die for Kun, and that’s not an exaggeration, either--Lucas highly values loyalty, and Kun was worthy of such loyalty, as he was always there for the younger when the younger was homesick, feeling the burdensome emotions of having to leave his home in order to pursue something greater. Sicheng, despite his cold and distanced demeanor, warmed up easily to Kun, immediately respecting the older man so much and adoring him to no end. Hendery and Dejun, the package deal that they are, also look at Kun as if he gave way to their existence--Kun had taken them under his wing after the two struggled through their first month in college with faulty basic Korean, teaching them conversational Korean as much as they needed him to. No, Ten did not resent their friends for bending over backwards for Kun, either--as much as college Ten wanted to, he simply couldn’t because Qian Kun was admittedly too good for the world.

They weren’t exactly the closest during college, but something shifted when they graduated--they don’t exactly know what, but something did and they’d be thankful for it. Maybe it was the fact that they were both excelling in their careers, Kun being immediately invited to join their university’s faculty as a professor because he was just that good and Ten being able  to launch a small line within his first year of being an independent fashion designer, yet both had failed to luck out in the love department. Both weren’t actively trying to date anyone at that point, seeing as Ten was too busy and the men he meets are way below his standards, and Kun was also too busy and he’d much rather date someone he already knows than someone he just met. It didn’t help that by that time, their friends had already coupled up, leaving them to fend for their singleness themselves. During group dinners, Kun and Ten started gravitating to each other, as Johnny would always sit next to Taeyong, Jaehyun would cling to Doyoung, and Lucas and Sicheng would do the same. Their singleness began to become something they bonded over--the loneliness, the struggle of looking for a quick fuck, and all that jazz. 

Then, they began texting each other more frequently than before--Ten had started it, sending him a meme about being awfully single in a group of people who were probably a ring away from marriage. They even started making bets on who would get engaged first, Kun put his money on Lucas and Sicheng, seeing as the two had a penchant for being so unpredictable (there had even been a time when Sicheng and Lucas went to an impromptu three-day trip to Hong Kong in the middle of the semester, because Lucas was too homesick and mopey for Sicheng’s liking, so he surprised his boyfriend with tickets). Ten, however, put his money on Johnny and Taeyong, as Johnny always looks like he’s one second away from proposing to Taeyong every time Taeyong just speaks. Neither of them vouched for Doyoung or Jaehyun, though. 

(Surprisingly, it was Doyoung and Jaehyun who got engaged first. It was after Jaehyun had to stay in America for three months, and apparently, that’s when they realized they could not live without each other, so Jaehyun bought him Doyoung a Cartier ring and proposed to him on their fourth anniversary.)

Eventually, the texting evolved to spending Friday nights together, watching Studio Ghibli movies, drinking wine, and rambling about their jobs and lives. It was good and comforting--a familiar and grounding presence in their changing lives. It was then that Kun and Ten realized that they were never really two opposite sides of a spectrum --they were two people, two personalities that complement each other rather than clash.

It was only then that Ten realized that Kun had been the only one to match his wit and attitude and hold himself well against Ten’s relentless teasing. When Ten teased their friends, it was a variety of reactions--Johnny would just laugh it off, Taeyong would just stare at him confusedly, Jaehyun would smirk, and Doyoung would just end up nagging and whining. Kun, however, teased him back in a way that wasn’t like Ten’s. It was different, it was very Kun , witty and deep and Ten would only ever realized he was being insulted when Kun has that small victorious grin settling on his dimpled face. Kun was as playful as Ten, but Kun’s was disguised into something charming that has everyone falling on his feet whilst Ten just ends up with people scowling at him more than anything, but he finds that he barely minds. Plus, Kun and Ten balance each other out--whereas Kun attunes himself to logic and thought processes, Ten attunes himself to his creativity, letting energy flow wildly and endlessly. Kun was their to ground Ten when Ten would fly too close to the sun, and Ten was there to make sure that Kun would fly alongside of him, from time to time. 

It was a rainy friday night in Kun's apartment when Ten realized that he was no longer making himself available for other single people--legs intertwined with Kun's in Kun's comfortable and plush brown leather couch, wine glass in hand, Spirited Away playing in Kun's flat-screen tv, the smell of warm vanilla and brown sugar tickling his nose as the candle that they lit burn away, Ten realizes that this is where he wants to be. Next to Kun, comfortably snuggling into him as they ramble about their weeks. Ten doesn't know how to deal with his feelings though--he had always been forward, but his feelings for Kun were different from what he knows and there's something about Kun that really makes him want to not fuck this up. Ten stays over Kun's for the night (which to be honest, he's been doing this for months now), with the both of them falling asleep on the reclinable couch that lets them sleep comfortably. The next day, he eats the breakfast Kun prepared for him and leaves shortly afterwards, and he ventures to Johnny and Taeyong's shared apartment with his newfound realization and obvious dilemma. Taeyong and Johnny greet him warmly and Ten doesn't even spare a second to breathe before he starts pouring his heart out about how he likes Kun ' so fucking much that I will combust.'

Johnny and Taeyong, bless their hearts, eases Ten's anxiety by telling him that regardless of whether Kun likes him back, Ten should probably tell Kun--Kun would appreciate the honesty and he wasn't the type of friend to cut a friendship off because of feelings anyway. So, Ten had to put on his big boy pants and deal with his feelings. 

Kun invites him for dinner the next Monday, and that's sooner than when he would usually meet Ten. Kun invited him for dinner on fancy restaurant, as one of his work friends gave him a reservation for two with the bill already paid for (Ten didn't ask about why Kun received such sudden gift from his work friend, because knowing Kun, Kun would probably be receiving all kinds of gifts just for existing because he is that good of a person). Ten, obviously said yes, and decided that the dinner would be the best time to talk about his feelings. 

Ten had always been forward, and rarely was he nervous for things like these , but there was something about Kun in fitted black slacks, a white button up shirt tucked loosely into his pants with two buttons undone and sleeves rolled up in his arms and newly-dyed greyish blonde hair slicked up and styled to perfection that makes Ten nervous. But Kun smiles so warmly at Ten that Ten feels his anxiety lessen and he's reminded that he's known Kun for so long and is a comforting presence to him--sure, feelings are scary, but Kun is not. Kun is familiar. 

After Kun talks about his work excitedly, talking about his classes, filled with bright-eyed students who have a love for literature and language, Ten musters up the courage to talk about his feelings. At first, Kun was silent letting the slightly younger man exhaust every emotion out of his system, but when Ten started to ramble, Kun decided to cut him off and squeeze Ten's hand. Ten looks at him anxiously, but Ten still meets his eyes, unafraid but still laced with concern Kun grins shyly, and he admits his feelings for Ten, too--but the conversation did not stop there. Instead, they continued by talking about what they wanted to do next after discovering their not-so-platonic feelings for each other.

So, they started to go on dates aside from their usual friday nights. They go to local museums, go book shopping, shop for fabrics, and explore antique shops. The transition from their friendship to their romantic relationship was slow but comfortable. After each date, the touches became more frequent, the hand-holding more natural, and the secret kisses more welcomed. 

The transition of the relationship was comfortable for the both of them because they've known each other for so long but the relationship is exhilarating at the same time--they'd find little quirks about each other that they never noticed prior to dating. Ten began to notice how Kun would squeeze him tightly after a particular comment leaves him speechless, how Kun would rub his back comfortingly when Ten needs assurance, and how Kun scrunches his nose up unconsciously when he's grading papers and a particular sentence he doesn't agree with comes up.  Kun notices that Ten is a sucker for touches and cuddling, he finds out that Ten unconsciously looks for Kun's hand whenever they stand next to each other, realizes that Ten is much softer at night when no one but Kun is watching him. 

It took a while for everyone else to realize that Ten and Kun complement each other quite well. They couldn't blame their friends, either--during college, there was a certain friendly animosity between them, and then after graduating, they began to seek refuge within each other. But over time, as their friend group sees how Kun and Ten match so well and so beautifully, how some of Ten's laughs and Kun's giggles are reserved for each other, and how happy the two of them are with each other, Johnny, Taeyong, Lucas, Sicheng, Doyoung and Jaehyun realize that the two balance each other out but also bring out the best parts of each other and challenge their weaknesses. 

It had always been that way, if they looked at the underlying implications and context of Kun and Ten's friendship. During college, the teasing revolved around challenging each other to be better and to improve. Now that they've grown older, it was time to bring out each others strengths--Kun would always reassure Ten of his brilliance and in turn, Ten would listen to Kun speak passionately about his career. 

Now, here they were, happily married and content with their careers. They had moved to China, prior to getting married, as Kun had been offered a great job opportunity in Beijing, and Ten had wanted to explore Chinese fashion. The thing with Ten's career is it is quite flexible-- he can end up anywhere and still be successful. But, Ten wants to explore his creativity and not be bound by a certain style, so he expresses his want to move to China with Kun. In any way they look at it, it works well for the both of them. They know they'd come back to South Korea, as they've built themselves a home their, and their found family, their friends are all there, too. But Ten and Kun want to explore the world, and so they shall. 

They got married in China--in front of their families and their friends. Johnny, Taeyong, Doyoung, Jaehyun, Sicheng, Lucas, Dejun and Hendery all flew to China to see two of their best friends get married. It was a simple wedding, since the both of them wanted a simple ceremony--obviously their wedding suits were extravagant, Ten had designed them, but everything else had been relatively simple. Not boring, because hello , this was Ten and Kun, but simple because it was straightforward--a celebration of love, filled with laughter, good food, even better wine, and precious memories

It's been a year since they got married in China, and six months into their marriage, the two of them had looked for options of adoption. Back in South Korea, they've seen instagram pictures of their friends' adopted children—not from their closest friends, just people they knew from college. Kun and Ten were obviously happy for their friends, but they couldn't help the bitterness that overcomes them as they failed to get responses from adoption agencies in China for the nth time. Yes, society was progressing and same-sex marriage was now legal for most parts of the world, but the system is still against them--adoption agencies always prioritise heterosexual couples who want to adopt when there's a child available for adoption. Gay couples like Ten and Kun have it much harder in China. 

There had been nights where Kun and Ten cry into each other's arms, feeling dejected and unworthy of being able to raise a child. It broke their hearts, but they knew that they'd be able to get through it. 

Then, Kun receives an invitation to work in Germany, in one of Duesseldorf's top universities--he would be a professor for Mandarin, Asian Culture and Literature classes and it was everything Kun could ever dream of. Before breaking the news to Ten, though, Kun had looked up adoption agencies in Germany and the adoption process there--it was relatively easier in comparison to China, and he'd read on forums that gay couples in Germany have good experiences in the adoption system. This gives Kun so much renewed hope that he tears up as he scrolls through the forums--Ten finds him in his office that day and hugs him tightly, unaware of his husband's reason for crying. Kun hugged him back tightly and broke the news to Ten, rambling about how Germany would be great for them--but only if Ten wants to move. Ten was booming in Asia's fashion industry, so leaving would mean he'd have to leave behind his connections. Ten hugged Kun so tightly and repeatedly said yes to moving to Germany with him, not caring about leaving things behind as long as he has Kun to look forward to. They end up crying that night (again) but for completely different reasons, now--happy tears. 'Happy to spend my life with you' type of tears. 

Then, the two of them fix the necessary paperwork and alert their friends and families of their move to Germany. Everyone had been supportive and happy for both Kun and Ten, no one worried much about the two because the two can make a space for themselves anywhere in the world. Plus, they were both financially stable (they'd say comfortable, even) considering that they're both respected and known in their fields.

The move works well for the both of them, though--Kun being a hotshot professor in a prestigious university and Ten being able to establish his name in the European fashion industry--Dusseldorf was the arts and fashion capital of Germany, after all. Surprisingly, establishing his name in Germany hasn't been that hard for Ten; both he and Kun have underestimated his influence in the Asian scene that they were both genuinely surprised when designers claimed they knew Ten from his work in South Korea and China.

Their marriage was great--some people think that getting married meant having to give up some part of their identity. That was never true for Kun and Ten. Their marriage has always felt like something that brings out the best in themselves. Though they were two separate individuals independent of each other, they work well as a single unit as well, ready to comfort and help one another with anything. 

Kun had once told Ten that Kun could easily choose to leave Ten behind, because realistically, Kun can live without Ten. Ten remembers hearing that and letting out a sound of grave offense and hits Kun playfully in the chest, but Kun just laughs and finishes by saying that despite knowing that, Kun chooses to love and be with Ten everyday because Ten is that important and meaningful to him. Ten snorts at Kun's cheesiness, but kisses him passionately, either way. Ten loved Kun and his way with words. The same way that Kun chooses Ten everyday, Ten chooses to love, support, care and encourage Kun every moment as well. 

So yes, they're doing the marriage thing quite well. Even if there had been road bumps, they got through it together. They are getting through it together. For both of them, being together and being there for each other is more than enough. 

In Germany, they were Kun Li-Qian and Ten Li-Qian. In China, they were Li-Qian Yongqin and Li-Qian Kun. In South Korea, they were Lee Young-heum and Jeon Gon. It didn’t really matter what names they used, though, because one way or another, their names will always end up entangled with one another. 

Between the two of them, they spoke a total of six languages. Mandarin, Korean, English, Thai, a bit of conversational Japanese, and now, German. No matter what language Kun or Ten choose to speak in, though, it didn’t matter, for they would always speak the same language of love. 

Most of all, no matter where they were in the world, it would be them against all odds. It would be Kun and Ten. Ten and Kun. 

Notes:

please comment just to talk about what you think!! i greatly appreciate comments and honestly i need the validation. spare some words for me and my mental stability, thanks. <33