Chapter Text
A bi & a pan walk into a bar
The Pan: I literally hate you
The Bi: That's not what you said last night coward
The Pan: SHUT UR UP
The Bi: You cuddled me and told me you love me so much you'd rather die than be without me you sappy bitch
The Pan: Why
The Bi: Because you are adorable when you blush
The Pan: SHUT IT
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Hi mY nAmE iS yOuR mOm
Wine uncle: Gray Fullbuster.
Baby Bro: No
The Only Cis Allowed: Laxus don't kill him
Star Kick Ass: Is this what your character is used for? Memery?
The Only Cis Allowed: Absolutely you wrinkled pickle
Baby Bro: You've been spending too much time with Sting
The Only Cis Allowed: So?
Baby Bro: Gay
Mother: Gay
The Only Cis Allowed: Stop and maybe the demons of hell won't skin you
simp: gay
Star Kick Ass: gay
Wine Uncle: Gay
The Only Cis Allowed: Blocked and reported
The Only Cis Allowed: Also fuck you Sting
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ChIcKeN nUgGeTs
Fight the man: I'm just saying it would solve all of your problems instantly
Authority issues: Lucy murder is illegal
Fight the man: if you get caught
Authority issues: No.
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A bi & a pan walk into a bar
The Bi: Lucy is trying to get me to commit murder again
The Pan: Tell her the gods are watching and they will remember her misdeeds
The Bi: Fucking bet
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ChIcKeN nUgGeTs
Authority issues: The Gods are watching and they will remember your misdeeds against this world.
Fight the man: what the fuck? You even used capitalization? And a period?! I'm so proud
Authority issues: You stuffed your bra in the 8th grade shut the fuck up
Fight the man: HOW DARE YOU
Authority issues: Bet or I'll fucking tell.
Fight the man: …
Fight the man: fuck you
Authority issues: (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
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Don't talk down to me young man
Mother: how do I get Gray to stop screeching like a demon?
The crazy cousin: Hit him
Wine Uncle: Try smothering it with a pillow
Mother: No
Simp: Natsu might know
Mother: Good idea! Surprisingly.
Simp: Hey!!!
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Erza created a chat room.
Erza named the chat: The gays + the dumbasses
Erza changed Erza's name.
Eye See changed Gray's name.
Eye See changed Stings' name.
Eye See changed Rouge's name.
Eye See changed Natsu's name.
Eye See changed Laxus' name.
Eye See changed Cobra's name.
Eye See changed Jellal's name.
Eye See changed Gajeel's name.
Eye See changed Wendy's name.
Eye See: How do I get Gray to shut the fuck up?
Simp: You already asked this.
Eye See: I need an answer still you slut
Thot™: Erza what the fuck?
Eye See: Later Jellal.
The Drunk relative: Holy fuck
Simp: That's me!!!
The Brain Cell: Silence nothing about you is holy
Snake: Why am I here
Airport Securities Menace: Erza what the Absolute Fuck.
Eye See: Why is no one answering my fucking question?
Simp 2.0: He needs a weighted blanket and headphones. Preferably with the volume on 13 & his ' I'm fucking depressed ' playlist.
Eye See: Okay thank you Natsu
Simp 2.0: Np
Airport Securities Menace: Why is he here?!
Simp 2.0: Bitch we are related
Simp: Yeah Gajeel don't be mean
Thot supreme: I fucking hate you
Simp 2.0: You okay Baby?
Thot supreme: Yes you are the only one I love at the moment
The Good One: What's happening? Is everything okay?
Eye See: Don't worry sweetie!!!
Thot supreme: You named me this,,, named everyone else that & you ADDED FUCKING WENDY?!
Eye See: Ah I may of made a mistake
Thot supreme: YOU MAY HAVE?!
Eye See: I just wanted to include her!!!
Eye See: She hasn't met Natsu yet!
Simp 2.0: Erza I literally am in tears right now. You named me this and I'm just now meeting Wendy.
The Good One: It's okay Natsu! I'm sure you are more than Erza says you are!
Simp 2.0: Are you sure she's your sister?
Thot supreme: Yes
The Drunk relative: Are you serious?
Snake: I can't- She's genuinely your sister?
Eye See: Yes we get it me and Gray are bitches MOVING ON
The Brain Cell: I hate it here.
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The gays + the dumbasses
Thot™: It's later and I'm fucking irritated.
Eye See: Let's call! It will be easier to explain!
Thot™: Bet
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Being trans is like breathing you fucking bitch
Baby Bro: You two good?
Star Kick Ass: Yes
Mother: Yes!
Baby Bro: Good.
Baby Bro: Is it anything serious?
Star Kick Ass: No I was just well trauma reacting
Mother: Are you still okay? I know you are non-verbal right now but would you like some tea?
Star Kick Ass: Yes please
Baby Bro: Glad you two got your shit together
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ERZA SCARLET YOU ARE DEAD
Mother: oh no
Baby Bro: Wanna explain how you have 2 whole gfs I didn't know Jack shit about?
Mother: uhhhhhhhh
Baby Bro: :)
The Only Cis Allowed: And she didn't tell you? She told me she told you.
Baby Bro: Erza.
Baby Bro: Get your ass up here before I kick you down the stairs.
Mother: OMW
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DM
Jellal: Are you okay?
Erza: Yes I explained I shouldn't of kept it from him I was just scared
Jellal: that's understandable
Erza: Yes I can see now I was irrational
Jellal: and that's fine
Erza: yes I am allowed to have human emotions
Jellal: He already gave you the talk
Erza: Yes I am very loved & cared for
Jellal: as it should be
Erza: Thank you for checking in
Jellal: Ofc you are my best friend
Erza: I appreciate you <3
Jellal: Love you too little shit
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Gray made a chat.
Gray named the chat: interrogation.
Gray added Erza, Mira and Minerva.
Gray: Welcome to hell
Erza: Oh you were serious
Gray: You really thought I was going to allow them to fucking get out of this because of work?
Erza: you know what that's fair
Gray: yes so you are here to stop me from going to far & I'm going over the agreed script because I may be over protective but I am not here to trigger anyone
Mira: Oh hello!!! I do appreciate you reaching out about it! It definitely made my anxiety a little easier!!!
Erza: Gray is very kind and I love him
Gray: Wow love you too
Erza: Yes it's appreciate my brother time
Gray: No it's interrogation time
Erza: Appreciating afterwards?
Gray: fine
Minerva: Hello.
Erza: Oh before forget Gray Minerva is a lot like you in the way you literally just bottle your feelings behind a bitchy mask so don't mind her
Gray: Ah calling me out already
Erza: sh and get on with it
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Interrogation
Mira: I am somehow terrified for my life
Minerva: You really are terrifying I would hate to get on your wrong side
Gray: :)
Erza: Gray you overdramatic shit
Gray: It's not over dramatic if I'm just gay
Erza: You are bisexual actually & you literally have a boyfriend who's gayer than you are
Erza: You have transcended Gay
Minerva: A life long goal
Gray: And? Why are you mentioning Natsu? What are you up to?
Erza: :D
Gray: Oh god no GET AWAY JAHDJSKS SHSHSIDKDKODKS
Gray added Natsu.
Gray changed Natsu's name.
💞: Why am I here?
Gray: My cursed fucking sistsjjdkdkdkdoodsjjdjdHSHDYDIDKID
Gray changed the chat name: Siblings & the hoes
Mira: How rude! I am at least a girlfriend!
Erza: of course sweetheart!
Gray: Erza why did you do this
Erza: You mean why did I change Natsu's name to your contact name for him or why did I add him?
Gray: You fucking BITCH
💞: this is my contact name?
Minerva: You should marry him.
💞: fuck that's fair
Minerva: Yes I would marry someone if they changed my contact name to hearts.
Mira: 👀
Erza: 👀
Gray: Gay
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Minerva is a fuck
The Only Cis Allowed: Don't even- GOD
Simp: what did she do?
The Only Cis Allowed: You saw
Simp: Oh but you looked so cute!
The Only Cis Allowed: BITCH-
Baby Bro: what happened?!???
The Only Cis Allowed: Minerva fucking betrayed me is what
Simp: She did Rouge's make up & it's glittery
Simp: instead of his usual black or red eyeshadow and liner
Baby Bro: What color tho?
The Only Cis Allowed: Silver
Baby Bro: At least she kept to your emo color palette
The Only Cis Allowed: Bitch I will stab you
Simp: Rouge no
Star Kick Ass: Rouge yes
Star Kick Ass: If you want I can help you fix her mess
The Only Cis Allowed: Thank you
The Only Cis Allowed: friendship ended with Sting Jellal is now my only friend
Baby Bro: well fuck you too I guess
The Only Cis Allowed: shut up I can't alter the meme!!