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English
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Published:
2020-10-17
Updated:
2021-05-02
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21,247
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14/?
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The way my trans themed boots crush transphobes is satisfying

Chapter 4: Who's thirsty? Sting

Summary:

New chats happen & the gays and the bees arrive. (Gray is secretly a fucking sap)

Notes:

Hey let's just pretend I didn't fucking drop off the planet for a bit. I need stress relief that won't distract me from school so here we are

Anyways hope everyone is saying safe & let's get to the mess I spent too long on:
Trans kid chat (name changes a lot)

Gray- Baby Bro
Erza- Mother
Laxus- Wine Uncle
Rufus- Crazy Cousin
Rouge- The Only Cis Allowed
Sting- The Gremlin to factory reject dildo to simp
Jellal- Star Kick Ass

ChIcKeN nUgGeTs

Lucy- Fight the man
Gray- Authority issues

A bi & a pan walk into a bar

Gray- The Bi
Natsu- The Pan

The gays + the dumbasses
Gray- Thot supreme
Natsu- Simp 2.0
Gajeel- Airport Securities Menace
Sting- Simp
Jellal- Thot™
Rouge- The Brain Cell
Laxus- The Drunk Relative
Erza- Eye See
Cobra- Snake
Wendy- The Good One

The siblings & the hoes:
Gray
Erza
Natsu- 💞
Minerva
Mira

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A bi & a pan walk into a bar 

 

The Pan: I literally hate you 

 

The Bi: That's not what you said last night coward 

 

The Pan: SHUT UR UP 

 

The Bi: You cuddled me and told me you love me so much you'd rather die than be without me you sappy bitch 

 

The Pan: Why 

 

The Bi: Because you are adorable when you blush 

 

The Pan: SHUT IT 

 

____________________________________

 

Hi mY nAmE iS yOuR mOm 

 

Wine uncle: Gray Fullbuster. 

 

Baby Bro: No

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Laxus don't kill him 

 

Star Kick Ass: Is this what your character is used for? Memery? 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Absolutely you wrinkled pickle 

 

Baby Bro: You've been spending too much time with Sting 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: So? 

 

Baby Bro: Gay 

 

Mother: Gay 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Stop and maybe the demons of hell won't skin you 

 

simp: gay 

 

Star Kick Ass: gay 

 

Wine Uncle: Gay 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Blocked and reported 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Also fuck you Sting 

 

____________________________________

 

ChIcKeN nUgGeTs 

 

Fight the man: I'm just saying it would solve all of your problems instantly 

 

Authority issues: Lucy murder is illegal 

 

Fight the man: if you get caught 

 

Authority issues: No. 

 

____________________________________

 

A bi & a pan walk into a bar 

 

The Bi: Lucy is trying to get me to commit murder again 

 

The Pan: Tell her the gods are watching and they will remember her misdeeds 

 

The Bi: Fucking bet 

 

____________________________________

 

ChIcKeN nUgGeTs 

 

Authority issues: The Gods are watching and they will remember your misdeeds against this world. 

 

Fight the man: what the fuck? You even used capitalization? And a period?! I'm so proud 

 

Authority issues: You stuffed your bra in the 8th grade shut the fuck up 

 

Fight the man: HOW DARE YOU 

 

Authority issues: Bet or I'll fucking tell. 

 

Fight the man: … 

 

Fight the man: fuck you 

 

Authority issues: (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

 

____________________________________

 

Don't talk down to me young man 

 

Mother: how do I get Gray to stop screeching like a demon? 

 

The crazy cousin: Hit him 

 

Wine Uncle: Try smothering it with a pillow 

 

Mother: No 

 

Simp: Natsu might know 

 

Mother: Good idea! Surprisingly. 

 

Simp: Hey!!! 

 

____________________________________

 

Erza created a chat room. 

 

Erza named the chat: The gays + the dumbasses 

 

Erza changed Erza's name. 

 

Eye See changed Gray's name. 

 

Eye See changed Stings' name. 

 

Eye See changed Rouge's name. 

 

Eye See changed Natsu's name. 

 

Eye See changed Laxus' name. 

 

Eye See changed Cobra's name. 

 

Eye See changed Jellal's name. 

 

Eye See changed Gajeel's name. 

 

Eye See changed Wendy's name. 

 

Eye See: How do I get Gray to shut the fuck up? 

 

Simp: You already asked this. 

 

Eye See: I need an answer still you slut 

 

Thot™: Erza what the fuck? 

 

Eye See: Later Jellal. 

 

The Drunk relative: Holy fuck 

 

Simp: That's me!!! 

 

The Brain Cell: Silence nothing about you is holy 

 

Snake: Why am I here 

 

Airport Securities Menace: Erza what the Absolute Fuck. 

 

Eye See: Why is no one answering my fucking question? 

 

Simp 2.0: He needs a weighted blanket and headphones. Preferably with the volume on 13 & his ' I'm fucking depressed ' playlist. 

 

Eye See: Okay thank you Natsu 

 

Simp 2.0: Np 

 

Airport Securities Menace: Why is he here?! 

 

Simp 2.0: Bitch we are related 

 

Simp: Yeah Gajeel don't be mean 

 

Thot supreme: I fucking hate you 

 

Simp 2.0: You okay Baby? 

 

Thot supreme: Yes you are the only one I love at the moment 

 

The Good One: What's happening? Is everything okay? 

 

Eye See: Don't worry sweetie!!! 

 

Thot supreme: You named me this,,, named everyone else that & you ADDED FUCKING WENDY?! 

 

Eye See: Ah I may of made a mistake 

 

Thot supreme: YOU MAY HAVE?! 

 

Eye See: I just wanted to include her!!! 

 

Eye See: She hasn't met Natsu yet! 

 

Simp 2.0: Erza I literally am in tears right now. You named me this and I'm just now meeting Wendy. 

 

The Good One: It's okay Natsu! I'm sure you are more than Erza says you are! 

 

Simp 2.0: Are you sure she's your sister? 

 

Thot supreme: Yes

 

The Drunk relative: Are you serious? 

 

Snake: I can't- She's genuinely your sister? 

 

Eye See: Yes we get it me and Gray are bitches MOVING ON 

 

The Brain Cell: I hate it here. 

 

____________________________________

 

The gays + the dumbasses 

 

Thot™: It's later and I'm fucking irritated. 

 

Eye See: Let's call! It will be easier to explain! 

 

Thot™: Bet 

 

____________________________________

 

Being trans is like breathing you fucking bitch 

 

Baby Bro: You two good? 

 

Star Kick Ass: Yes 

 

Mother: Yes! 

 

Baby Bro: Good. 

 

Baby Bro: Is it anything serious? 

 

Star Kick Ass: No I was just well trauma reacting 

 

Mother: Are you still okay? I know you are non-verbal right now but would you like some tea? 

 

Star Kick Ass: Yes please 

 

Baby Bro: Glad you two got your shit together 

 

____________________________________

 

ERZA SCARLET YOU ARE DEAD 

 

Mother: oh no 

 

Baby Bro: Wanna explain how you have 2 whole gfs I didn't know Jack shit about? 

 

Mother: uhhhhhhhh 

 

Baby Bro: :) 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: And she didn't tell you? She told me she told you. 

 

Baby Bro: Erza. 

 

Baby Bro: Get your ass up here before I kick you down the stairs. 

 

Mother: OMW 

____________________________________



DM 

 

Jellal: Are you okay? 

 

Erza: Yes I explained I shouldn't of kept it from him I was just scared 

 

Jellal: that's understandable 

 

Erza: Yes I can see now I was irrational

 

Jellal: and that's fine 

 

Erza: yes I am allowed to have human emotions 

 

Jellal: He already gave you the talk 

 

Erza: Yes I am very loved & cared for 

 

Jellal: as it should be 

 

Erza: Thank you for checking in 

 

Jellal: Ofc you are my best friend 

 

Erza: I appreciate you <3 

 

Jellal: Love you too little shit 

 

____________________________________

 

Gray made a chat. 

 

Gray named the chat: interrogation. 

 

Gray added Erza, Mira and Minerva. 

 

Gray: Welcome to hell 

 

Erza: Oh you were serious 

 

Gray: You really thought I was going to allow them to fucking get out of this because of work? 

 

Erza: you know what that's fair 

 

Gray: yes so you are here to stop me from going to far & I'm going over the agreed script because I may be over protective but I am not here to trigger anyone 

 

Mira: Oh hello!!! I do appreciate you reaching out about it! It definitely made my anxiety a little easier!!! 

 

Erza: Gray is very kind and I love him 

 

Gray: Wow love you too 

 

Erza: Yes it's appreciate my brother time 

 

Gray: No it's interrogation time 

 

Erza: Appreciating afterwards? 

 

Gray: fine 

 

Minerva: Hello. 

 

Erza: Oh before forget Gray Minerva is a lot like you in the way you literally just bottle your feelings behind a bitchy mask so don't mind her 

 

Gray: Ah calling me out already 

 

Erza: sh and get on with it 

 

____________________________________

 

Interrogation 

 

Mira: I am somehow terrified for my life

 

Minerva: You really are terrifying I would hate to get on your wrong side 

 

Gray: :) 

 

Erza: Gray you overdramatic shit 

 

Gray: It's not over dramatic if I'm just gay

 

Erza: You are bisexual actually & you literally have a boyfriend who's gayer than you are 

 

Erza: You have transcended Gay 

 

Minerva: A life long goal 

 

Gray: And? Why are you mentioning Natsu? What are you up to? 

 

Erza: :D 

 

Gray: Oh god no GET AWAY JAHDJSKS SHSHSIDKDKODKS 

 

Gray added Natsu. 

 

Gray changed Natsu's name. 

 

💞: Why am I here? 

 

Gray: My cursed fucking sistsjjdkdkdkdoodsjjdjdHSHDYDIDKID 

 

Gray changed the chat name: Siblings & the hoes 

 

Mira: How rude! I am at least a girlfriend! 

 

Erza: of course sweetheart! 

 

Gray: Erza why did you do this 

 

Erza: You mean why did I change Natsu's name to your contact name for him or why did I add him? 

 

Gray: You fucking BITCH 

 

💞: this is my contact name? 

 

Minerva: You should marry him. 

 

💞: fuck that's fair 

 

Minerva: Yes I would marry someone if they changed my contact name to hearts. 

 

Mira: 👀 

 

Erza: 👀

 

Gray: Gay 

 

____________________________________

 

Minerva is a fuck 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Don't even- GOD 

 

Simp: what did she do? 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: You saw 

 

Simp: Oh but you looked so cute! 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: BITCH- 

 

Baby Bro: what happened?!??? 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Minerva fucking betrayed me is what 

 

Simp: She did Rouge's make up & it's glittery 

 

Simp: instead of his usual black or red  eyeshadow and liner 

 

Baby Bro: What color tho? 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Silver 

 

Baby Bro: At least she kept to your emo color palette 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Bitch I will stab you 

 

Simp: Rouge no 

 

Star Kick Ass: Rouge yes 

 

Star Kick Ass: If you want I can help you fix her mess 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: Thank you 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: friendship ended with Sting Jellal is now my only friend 

 

Baby Bro: well fuck you too I guess 

 

The Only Cis Allowed: shut up I can't alter the meme!!










Notes:

Thanks for reading & uh sorry for just up and disappearing???? Yeah.

Also small plot things that are going to happen now:
New relationships in the works: Rouge/Sting/Jellal
Some random shit I added in here:
Wendy, Gray & Erza- Adopted siblings
Gajeel, Natsu & Sting- Adopted siblings
Laxus always has " drunk " something in his username has a fucking running joke bc he got wasted one time & declared it had to happen
Everyone is their canon ages!! (NOT COUNTING WHATEVER WEIRD TIMEY WIMEY BULLSHIT THE S-CLASS ARC WAS OR THE WEIRD BULLSHIT THAT HAPPENED WITH THE DRAGONSLAYERS. THIS IS GOING OFF OF PHYSICAL AGE.)
Also Erza is missing her eye here stop forgetting she has a fake eye you cowards