When Ben died all light flickered from the eyes of The Umbrella Academy. He never wanted to cause them any pain, any grief or sadness, he just wanted it to go away. The horror, the nightmares, the disappointment. To them, it looked like an accident, a distraction that sent the horror awry, tearing into the helpless vessel that housed it.
It was the most excruciating pain he had ever experienced. Being torn apart limb from limb, as he had inflicted onto others time and time again, was like fire tearing through every fibre of his body. Even the physical pain endured seemed better than a lifetime of mental anguish. A lifetime of controlling a monster so deep he never had a moment of peace. Even in his eventual death, there was no release, no blissful release from the dark depths inside of him. Instead, he was lost; trapped within an endless sorrow, an immortality where he was forced to witness the world progress without him. He was lost, within himself and his mind. Regret was a word he never liked to use, but the feeling bordering in on his emotions was one similar to that of regret, even if he didn’t want to give in to it.
Now, watching his siblings stand around his grave, he realised the full impact of what he had done. He thought nobody would notice after a while, that they would all resume to fighting again the moment he had gone, but for a few quiet days after his passing, there were no voices to be heard. Cries, unspoken prayers, nightmares that rippled through his siblings every hour of the night until they morphed into hallucinations in the day. “You allowed Number Six to die on the mission” his father’s words echoed through the eulogy. Even in death his own father couldn’t see the turmoil he faced. How he would rather have died an excruciating death than live to bear another second alive with them.
‘May the darkness within you find peace in the light’
The light is gone.