Wheeyyy: but like, seriously. Its gotta be bakubro right?
ManlyRock: u know I usually agree with u, but no. no.
Froggers: What’s happening now? Kero.
Wheeyyy: Tsu! Tell kiri here that bakubro here is the most chaotic person in the 1st year
ManlyRock: no way, it’s Monoma 100%
IHearEverything: Oh. No Monoma’s just an asshole
ManlyRock: Jirou! How could you betray me like that?
SinnamonRoll: Hey guys what’re we talking about?
SinnamonRoll: Ohhhh I see! Lemme go get some more opinions on this.
SinnamonRoll added Sleep?Who’sShe?
Wheeyyy: who’s this?
Sleep?Who’She?: OwO what is this?
SinnamonRoll: It’s Toshi! Toshi, we need more votes on this.
SinnamonRoll: Who do you think is the most chaotic student in our year?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Well, that’s ez. Mei is def 2nd
ManlyRock: 2nd? Who’s 1st???
Wheeyyy: wait I’m confused who r u?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Shinsou Hitoshi, I’m in gen ed tho
SinnamonRoll: Mhm! Toshi’s the one with the super fluffy purple hair. Oh, and his quirk’s super cool!
Tailman: Wait him? Midoriya, maybe you shouldn’t talk to him
SinnamonRoll: Ehh?! Ojirou-kun, what are you saying? Toshi’s my friend, of course I talk to him!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh, you’re that monkey dude
Tailman: Just as a precaution, you know? I mean, he controlled me, so what’s stopping him from doing it to you?
SinnamonRoll changed Tailman’s name to GrrrMonkey
SinnamonRoll: That was extremely uncalled for Ojirou-kun! Toshi wouldn’t use his quirk on me if I didn’t want it. Plus, I trust him! I really, really hate quirk discrimination so I hope it won’t happen again. It won’t, right Ojirou-kun?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Awww, thanks Zuzu
ManlyRock: HOLD ON just how close are you to our green fluff?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Uhhh, we’re friends
Wheeyyy: friends? dude you call him Zuzu. you are not friends
Froggers: I mean, Izu-chan calls Bakugou Kacchan and they’re not romantically involved. I think, kero.
SinnamonRoll: Yup! Absolutely platonic.
SinnamonRoll: But back to the topic at hand. We need more opinions on this! Lemme start a call real quick just to get everyone on their phones.
SinnamonRoll started a call
Call ended 2s
PinkQueen: OK! So, I just read up and my vote goes to Kaminari!
Wheeyyy: what?! Why me?
PinkQueen: Kami, sweety. You literally caused a black out yesterday which ended with you crying because u thought you’d gone blind
PinkQueen: most hilarious moment of my week
Wheeyyy: I- fair
ManlyRock: haha yeah that was great
ExplodoKills: What the hell?
ExplodoKills: You’re all fucking idiots. It’s obviously Deku.
SinnamonRoll: Wha- Kacchan?!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh? He knows?
SinnamonRoll: Nope. Shush Toshi.
CTooru: Hmmm? Is this tea I smell?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: UHM. Shutting up.
Froggers: You better, Hito-chan.
PinkQueen: WAIT Tsuyu! How do you know shinsou? You called him Hito-chan
PinkQueen: thinking abut it, you also called Midori izu-chan
PinkQueen: since when are u all so close??
Froggers: Hito-chan and Mei-chan hang around with the Dekusquad quite often
Sleep?Who’sShe?: And it’s great, love the chaos
CTooru: Talking about chaos, why is our cinnamon roll being nominated as the most chaotic first year again?
ExplodoKills: BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING USELESS DEKU STUMBLING AROUND AND MESSING EVERYTHING UP.
SinnamonRoll: Ah? Sorry Kacchan.
ExplodoKills: JUST PUT ALL OF HIS STUPID BUNCH OF IDIOTS UP THERE ALL OF THEM ARE ALWAYS IN MY WAY
ExplodoKills: ALWAYS JOKING AROUND AND NOT TAKING SHIT SERIOUS LIKE THE INCOMPETENT ASSHOLES THEY ARE
ExplodoKills: AND WHEN THEY’RE ALL THERE TOGETHER IT’S THE WORST- oh
SinnamonRoll: Oh? Whatever is there to ‘oh’ about?
ManlyRock: What? Whats happening?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: It’s about to get good, that’s what.
RainingMen: Ohhh go get him Deku! ✺◟(∗❛ัᴗ❛ั∗)◞✺
RainingMen: I’ll go get Shoto so we can watch this together!
ExplodoKills: It’s ‘Oh’ because…well you know
SinnamonRoll: Go on Katsuki.
ExplodoKills: because you didn’t call me Kacchan just now.
TemperautrePlay: …Zuku why is my name like that?
CTooru: AGAIN WITH THE NICKNAMES ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT
SinnamonRoll: Hush, Sho. And maybe, I don’t know. What do you think, Katsuki? Want a repeat of the 89h?
ExplodoKills: NO! NEVER THE FUCK AGAIN
SinnamonRoll: What do we say, Katsuki?
ExplodoKills: Nuh-uh no way. I’m not doing it.
SinnamonRoll: Alright, setting up the caffeine injections. And cameras. And speakers.
ExplodoKills: ALRIGHT! I’m fucking sorry for insulting your idiots like that I won’t do it again Izuku.
Wheeyyy: HOLY HELL WHAT
ManlyRock: BAKUBRO?! ARE YOU OK MAN?
PinkQueen: Wow. Just wow.
CTooru: Wait what does 89h mean? HELLO WHY AM I BEING IGNORED HERE
EmoBirb: What a mad banquet of darkness.
SinnamonRoll: Friends, Katsuki. They’re my friends, not my idiots.
RainingMen: Aww, thank Deku! <3
TemperaturePlay: He’s always like that?
ExplodoKills: I am very sorry for calling you and your friends idiots, Izuku.
SinnamonRoll: See, that wasn’t so hard!
SinnamonRoll: No problem Kacchan, all’s forgiven! (❀」╹□╹)」*·
IHearEverything: What on earth- Midoriya what did you do to this guy? I could hear his breath of relief and I’m not even inside the building rn
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh, you know
RainingMen: The usual, nothing weird
Froggers: Yes, all was very entertaining
TemperaturePlay: No property damage, so
GottaGoFast: It was all perfectly legal! Well, most of it.
SinnamonRoll: What they said.
Wheeyyy: wAiT Iida?????
ManlyRock: So, like correct me if I’m wrong but did our class prez just imply that they broke the law?
CTooru: Lol our class prez is a delinquent?
PinkQueen: Our class prez? our “if I see you walking over the street when there’s a red light even though there are no cars in a 20 mile radius again you’re on dish washing duty for the next tot weeks” class prez breaking the law? More likely than you’d think
Aizawa: Problem child?
SinnamonRoll: Yes Aizawa-sensei?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Yes? And why are you in this chat
TemperaturePlay: What is it?
Aizawa: …I meant Iida this time.
SinnamonRoll: WHAT? I thought I was your problem child!
GottaGoFast: Sensei! Since when have I been dubbed a problem child? Allow me to ask for a way to rectify that!
Aizawa: You’ve been a problem child since the second you decided to talk to Problem Child #1.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh hell no Zuzu. Go find your own dad and drag him back from the states, this one’s mine.
Aizawa: What even?
SinnamonRoll: Aw yes, I’m Problem Child #1!
SinnamonRoll: Also I tracked him down years ago already. He was being an asshole to his employees though so I might have infected his computer with a virus that spams it with memes every 0,7 seconds.
RainingMen: It was SO very funny! (*>艸<)
Wheeyyy: I didn’t know you could hack!
ManlyRock: That’s so manly Midoribro! Also, I’m scared
TemperaturePlay: The best part was watching it his reactions on the camera.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: YES OMG. THE COFFEE I CANT-
SinnamonRoll: I AM-
RainingMen: Pffft Deku and Hito are ded
TemperaturePlay: To explain why they are dying. Hisashi was getting irritated because of the memes. He got so angry that he kicked his chair. His chair had wheels. He slipped on the chair and fell. He hit his head on the way down and rattled the table. Because of the unfortunate way he fell, his mug fell off of the table onto his pants. White pants, might I add. So, he spilled coffee onto his butt. When he stood up, his pant leg caught under the chair’s wheel and ripped up to his thigh. He was extremely unhappy that day. On his way back home, he yelled at 12 people, 6 of which were children.
RainingMen: +1 cat
TemperaturePlay: Yes, he also yelled at a cat and called it the “ultimate evil and bane of humanity’s existence” for daring to meow at him. Truly, the audacity.
Aizawa: Problem children, every single one of you who has every talked to Midoriya.
SinnamonRoll: Aw, you know you love me! Say it, say it!
PinkQueen: lol what. To like, all of the above
CTooru: HOLD ON wAS ThAT SaARCsM FRom TodORkI?!?? anD SaSs FRoM oUr InnOcEnT BeaN??!?!
TemperaturePlay: I’ve no clue what you’re talking about.
Froggers: Izu-chan is perfectly innocent? Kero.
SinnamonRoll: Huh? What sass? I’m really sorry if I was being rude!
Aizawa: Anyways. Iida, I’m proud of you. You really need to loosen up a bit, following the rules that strictly will get you killed.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh trust me dadzawa that won’t be a problem, am I right Mr. Traffic Jam?
GottaGoFast: That was- I…I have nothing to say to that
RainingMen: Who would’ve thought that Yaya would be killed over cabbages?
Aizawa: Alright nope, I’m taking a nap. Don’t call me if you burn down another pool, call All Might instead. Got it?
SinnamonRoll: Got it sensei!
CTooru: Care to spill?
GodIsAWoman: Wait that was you? The news said that it was a villain attack.
TemperaturePlay: Oh Momo, you poor naive soul.
SinnamonRoll: Alright I’ll admit, that wasn’t my brightest moment. But Sho’s at fault too!
TemperaturePlay: How was any of that my fault?
RainingMen: You literally were the one who blew the building to smithereens Toto!
TemperaturePlay: Only because Zuku told me to
PinkQueen: And do you do everything “Zuku” tells you to?
CTooru: Ohoho? Everything everything?
PinkQueen: This dude’s absolutely whipped
CTooru: Would you jump off of a building because Midoriya tells you to?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: I mean, he jumped out of a hot air balloon because Zuzu told him to sooooo
Wheeyyy: HOLD ON whats happening over here?!
ManlyRock: ISNT THAT LIKE uhhh REALLY HIGH UP
RainingMen: Pft Hito you say that as if you weren’t clinging to Deku and screaming all the way down. After you also jumped because he told you to.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: I didn’t JUMP out of the damn thing, Mei DROPPED me, there’s a difference.
TemperaturePlay: You didn’t deny the clinging and screaming part.
Froggers: Of course he doesn’t deny it, it’s true after all. Kero.
GottaGoFast: I can confirm, he Hitoshi was screaming quite loudly and holding onto Izuku very tightly, by the looks of it. I can only hope it won’t bruise.
Wheeyyy: lol so if midoriya has hand shaped bruises on his hips he didn’t get laid, but his squad fell from the sky. wth
Aizawa: Problem Child, can I ask why you’re telling your classmates to jump out of aircrafts? I won’t even ask why apparently, half of the class was there.
SinnamonRoll: Ok, this time it really wasn’t my fault.
Aizawa: How so?
RainingMen: You did tell them to jump out of a hot air balloon Deku.
SinnamonRoll: YES, because we were being SHOT AT and the balloon was going to crash into the SHIP and I didn’t want us to DIE.
PinkQueen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE BEING SHOT AT
ManlyRock: BRO WHY WERE U 3 IN A CRASHING AIR BALLOON
SinnamonRoll: Oh, you want the reason for that?
Wheeyyy: Uhm, yes please?
SinnamonRoll: You want yo reason, yo get yo reason.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh wait I know what you’re gonna do. Also, it’s not us 3, it’s us 7
SinnamonRoll added MotherOf388
SinnamonRoll: HERES YO REASON!
CTooru: Ok who is this?
MotherOf388: IZU DARLING! Why am I here? WANNA MAKE MORE BABIES?
PinkQueen: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
CTooru: Wait Midori has a gf?? Since when?
Wheeyyy: Wait Midori’s gf is the reason they were shot at???
ManlyRock: and crashed a hot air balloon into a ship?
IHearEverything: So you’ll just ignore that this random girl wants to make babies with Midoriya? I’m down
SinnamonRoll: We’re not dating or making babies but yes, yes this crazy genius is the reason that we were shot at and crashed a hot air balloon into a ship. And exploded the ship. And the harbor. And took out an illegal trafficking ring but that was on purpose and it’s not like anyone important died anyways. The people on the ship did just have a wedding though, so I guess that sucks for them.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Zuzu honey, your sociopath is showing.
SinnamonRoll: I MEAN. Am I wrong though? Scum of the earth deserved it. And it’s only sociopathic tendencies, stop being a drama queen Toshi.
MotherOf388: Yup, yup Izu is absolutely right. THEY KILLED FIVE OF MY BABIES, FIVE!
PinkQueen: WHAT OMG
CTooru: WTF ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT YOU HAD FIVE KIDS I AM SO SORRY
TemperaturePlay: I think there’s been a misunderstanding.
Wheeyyy: Wait @MotherOf388 HOW OLD ARE YOU
MotherOf388: I’m in my first year like you guys, so 15 turning 16 this year
RainingMen: Her name’s Mei by the way!
MotherOf388: That’s right! Hatsume Mei, future founder of Hatsume Industries and inventor extraordinaire! If you need support items of any sort, come to me! I’m an expert at what I do!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Mhm, right
TemperaturePlay: You’ve blown me up seven times already. Three of those times you didn’t even have anything that was capable of exploding.
GottaGoFast: I can attest to that, Mei blew herself up with toothpaste and a lock pick. Izuku and I are seriously considering the probabilities of her having a secondary quirk or at the very least a secondary function of her quirk.
Froggers: It seems more likely every time my shoe laces explode off of my feet. Kero.
ManlyRock: oh wait! I remember you! Your that pink haired girl with the crazy laugh who wrecked Iida at the sports festival!
MotherOf388: HAHAHA THAT’S ME I’M THE VERY BEST
Froggers: You got us shot at.
MotherOf388: You agreed to come with me, so it’s your own fault
GottaGoFast: We agreed to come with you to look for your generator parts, not to WALK RIGHT INTO THE BLACK MARKET AND STEAL PLASMA CUTTERS.
Wheeyyy: omg I think I’m gonna faint
ManlyRock: lol he did faint but srsly wtf guys
PinkQueen: ok WHAT THE ACTUEL HELL EVEN IS A PLASMA CUTTER
MotherOf388: Well, the plasma cutters had the parts I needed so I don’t see how that’s MY fault.
MotherOf388: Oh and Pinky, it’s a really great baby that can cut basically everything and glows reaaaaally prettily.
SinnamonRoll: OOOOOh mhmm it used to be this box like thing that you plop down and then there was this other thingy that actually does the cutting, but nowadays it’s like carrying around a big banana. A banana that could pierce 14,3 lined up people if shot for one second.
CTooru: Midoriya- how do you even know that?
TemperaturePlay: Ashido, just don’t ask. For your sake.
SinnamonRoll: Back to stealing on the black market. It went something like this.
They were running. Running and yelling, which was stupid in hindsight and they should’ve saved their breaths but the yelling was making it hard to think. Well, that and the fact that a couple of very angry looking people were running after their little group. And they had guns. Shit.
“MEI WHAT THE HELL.” Ok, screw saving their breaths. If Izuku was going to be gunned down, he was going to be gunned down while screaming at his pink haired friend. Because this whole mess was HER FAULT.
“aaaHAHAHAHAHA IT’S FINE IZU! I HAVE A PLAN!” And oh boy, he’d never admit it but he could pee himself in relief right now. Was that something people did? They should.
“YOU IDIOT WOMAN, YOU’RE GOING TO GET ME KILLED. AND YOU’RE GOING TO GET ZUZU KILLED.” That was Toshi and aw, Izuku was his obvious favourite. What a dear.
“HEY DON’T START WITH THE SEXISM NOW YOU PURPLE PUFF.” Somehow, Ocha always came up with the strangest insults in situations like these. Izuku could confidently say that, since they had been in enough of these types of situations to be able to tell. Which, thinking about it, really isn’t a good thing. For their health in general and for Izuku’s blood pressure, even if he was usually in the middle of the chaos.
“Where are we even running right now, kero?” Tsu, bless her heart. Always the calm and rational one. Sure, she was scared (at least that’s what he thinks?) but she always managed to keep a cool head while also being kind. Not to be mistaken with-
“Directions really would be good right now, before we end up like Swiss cheese.” Not to be mistaken with Sho. People always thought he was the reasonable one of the group but really, he was a petty bitch. Plus, Izuku just KNEW he was dying of laughter inside while they were all running for their lives, Sho just didn’t show it. They were messed up like that.
“GUNS ARE HIGHLY ILLEGAL IN JAPAN, YOU HOOLIGANS OUGHTA READ UP ON THIS COUNTRY’S GUN LAWS!” Yaya was yelling over his shoulder at the people who were trying to shoot them dead when they rounded the corner and started sprinting up a fire escape. How exactly Iida Tenya had ended up with them? Simple, his brother told him that the law wasn’t always correct and that it was fine to break it if you weren’t hurting anyone. Yaya dove into their type of stuff headfirst, but still reprimanded everyone else for doing illegal things. It was hilarious, honestly.
“Why couldn’t we have just bought these on amazon or something, kero?” THAT was a valid question. One that Izuku, sadly, could already guess Mei’s answer to.
“CUZ I’M BROKE AS HELL AND THOSE THINGS ARE ONLY PERMITTED FOR HEAVY LABOR INDUSTRIES AND STUFF!” Yeah, they were all kinda low on personal funds. Ok, ones that they could access legally- the other ones, well let’s just say that he wouldn’t need to work a day in his whole life if Izuku ever touched those.
They ran up the fire escape and the green haired boy shoved his plasma cutter into Toshi’s arms who startled and almost dropped both of the devices. Sho was raising his hand in the direction of the roof’s access before Izuku slapped his hand away.
“Bad Sho! What did I say about public quirk usage? I told you, you can weasel your way out of lie detector quirks, but only if you didn’t do anything as obviously against the law as using your quirk in public!” The taller at least had the decency to look sheepish and offer a quiet apology. Izuku got to work with a huff.
The other six watched him pull out a screwdriver and dislodge the staircase from the building, before giving it a hefty kick. Followed by the rusty metal screeching as all the other crews and bolts were being ripped out of the concrete and bricks. Fun. What WASN’T fun was the bullet that whizzed by way too close to Izukus face for comfort. Feeling annoyed, he poked his head over the edge of the building, just long enough to belt out a heartfelt “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE”.
Then he turned around. Spotting the thing on the roof behind them, he stared. And stared more.
“Mei…?” Out of all the GODDAMNED things to choose from. Izuku watched as his friends turned around. Mei blinked.
“Huh. Well, I guess that’s what I get for requesting an aircraft that can hold seven people and not specify it more.” That- she- Izuku couldn’t-. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. This was fine.
“I feel like this happens every time Mei plans our getaway instead of Zuzu.” I mean- it’s not as if Toshi was wrong.
“Oh my god, you’re being sexist again you sleep deprived troll face.”
“This literally has nothing to do with sexism! It’s all in the numbers!”
“Yes it has! You keep saying Deku does stuff better than Mei, and Mei’s a girl and Deku’s a boy therefore bam! Sexism.”
“I feel like that isn’t how it works, Ocha. Kero.”
“I also do not think that Hitoshi is being sexist. It’s simply him showing favouritism and it’s common knowledge he’d die for Izuku.”
“Well yeah, but Deku’s showing favouritism too. He’d throw himself in front of a car for Hito!”
“Wow. That doesn’t really say a lot Ocha. I’m pretty sure Zuku would throw himself into oncoming traffic for fun.” Great, thanks Sho. The bi-colored boy wasn’t wrong though.
Alright, what was hid squad doing? They were going to be more see through than Hagakure if they didn’t get out of here soon. Not in a good way either.
“Sorry to cut this short. Yes, I throw myself into oncoming traffic for fun. Mei, give me baby number 380.”
“Izu-chan, you just used the print tense on that.”
“OOooooo, the seven winds baby? It’s not even halfway done though!”
“Yes, present tense and yes Mei, the seven winds baby, doesn’t matter. And get that fracking balloon ready to go ASAP!” Mei nodded and instantly got to work, instruction the others on what to do and where to help.
Said seven winds baby was a hair dryer. Or rather, it looked like one. In reality, it was supposed to be able to release gusts of air pressure that mimicked the quirk of the Storm Hero: Tempest who could produce blasts of wind that could cause tornadoes if he wasn’t careful. Well, that was in theory. In actuality, it had neither the necessary firepower nor the proper foundation to keep it from blowing into pieces after one use. Not that that was a priority right now.
After a couple of minutes that Izuku spent hastily taking apart two plasma cutter and shoving their cores into their blow dryer from hell and connecting the proper wiring, he was just finishing with the circuit. The whole procedure took way too long for the greenette’s liking and he’d almost missed how Tsu had hit some over eager thugs down from the edge of the building with her tongue. Technically, she couldn’t really be charged for quirk usage since it was a mutant type of quirk.
“ALRIGHT! BABY 380 IS READY FOR TESTING? TAKE OFF?!” So maybe, possibly Izuku was having too much fun with this. Could anyone really blame him? He was about to launch himself and his friends over a gang of gunmen in a hot air balloon by the force of a cursed blow dryer. And stolen plasma cutters, who in their right mind wouldn’t be giddy with excitement?
“WAIT YOU FINISHED BABY? AND READY FOR TAKEOFF DEAR!”
“Zuzu I love you but why are you yelling?”
“BECAUSE WE’RE BEING SHOT AT TOSHI. WITH GUNS. THIS IS SO EXCITING!”
“What even is this friend group. Something is wrong with us, kero!”
“It is perfectly reasonable to be on an adrenaline high right now, given these circumstances. Perfectly normal.” Pft, perfectly normal my ass. Yaya was talking as if he wasn’t robotically chopping criminals off of the roof with a wild grin. Even Toshi, their lovable grump and Sho, ice prince galore couldn’t help but smile. Or, well. Smirk in Toshi’s case.
“GREAT! THAT’S GREAT BUT NOW EVERYONE!” Izuku motioned to the balloon, arms flailing wildly in vaguely circular motions. Mei was already inside the cabin, tinkering as always. “BOARD THE SHIP! HOT AIR BALLOON, I MEAN!”
They fit into the little cabin, just barely. Izuku closed the little door and craned his head to look at Toshi who he was pressed up against.
“ALRIGHT. Alright. ALRIGHT TOSHI!” The boy startled at suddenly being addressed. “I AM. GOING TO DO SOMETHING VERY RECKLESS.” He could feel the taller noting behind him. “As always.” And god dammit couldn’t his friend NOT talk right into his ear in a situation like this? With a voice like that? Curse people with voice quirks, they didn’t require them to sound so- so SO. Izuku was getting distracted. Which was not good in a situation like this.
“R-right. Just make sure I don’t fall out and die, kay?”
“Mhm, I got you.” Still next to his ear. StawwWWWWP. He suppressed a shiver. FOCUS.
“TAKE OFF IN 5” Izuku flipped the pitch and turned the regulator off. All or nothing, right?
“4!” Leaning over the railing, he aimed the roof.
“3!” Toshi’s arms circled his waist.
“2!” Out of the corner of his eye, Izuku saw Yaya opened a container of some sort.
“1!” Sho, Ocha and Tsu were cheering Yaya on for some reason.
“GO!” Several things happened at once. First and foremost, Izuku was somehow on the outside of the cabin, clinging onto the ropes for dear life, with Toshi half dangling over the open air, held inside by Mei’s hand around his ankle. Also, Izuku was laughing his ass off as soon as he could breathe.
Secondly, they were covered in something pink. Something pink that had exploded when he’d shot of with the even winds baby. However, the greenette knew that that wasn’t the case of the it. No, it was most likely the thing his robot friend had been holding: a container full of glitter bombs. One must have gone off earlier than planned. Not even questioning why Yaya had a backpack’s worth full of pink glitter bombs on him, especially when they just planned on going shopping, Izuku tried to laugh again. Only to huff out a cloud of pink glitter and start coughing. Toshi, still dangling around, patted his back.
The third and probably most important thing, they were losing height, and fast. Logical conclusion: A bullet has hit the balloon. After a moment of contemplation, Izuku looked down. Only to freeze. This- wherever they were- was sure as hell NOT Tokyo, much less Musutafu. Uh oh. Ocean, lots of ocean. Water, water, water and OH SHIT BOAT. ABORT, ABORT.
“OK PEOPLE LEAVE THE SHIP, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. NO I’M SERIOUS WE’RE GONNA CRASH INTO THAT SHIP, JUMP!”
Sho, without even a second of hesitation, yeeted himself out of the cabin. What a fuckin legend. Mei let go of Toshi’s foot, which resulted in him completely falling out and dragging Izuku with him since he was still clinging onto his waist. The greenette was cackling like the mad man he was, while the purplenette was screeching like a man falling from grace- oh wait.
Few yards away, Tsu could be spotted elegantly diving into the waves while Yaya performed a less graceful landing. Mei was floating with her new and improved hover boots, while Ocha was the last to leave the ship- uh balloon. She had her legs tucked under her chin and was shrieking. Out of horror or joy, Izuku wasn’t too sure. Farther away, closer to the shore he spotted Sho’s distance hair. He’d been the first to jump, and therefore was the closest to land.
On the ship they’d crashed into, people were leaning over the fences to gawk at them. Morons. Well, if he was being fair, he’d probably gawk too if someone crashed a hot air balloon into their boat. And- oh shit. That white dress right there? That looked helluva lot like a wedding dress. They’d just crashed those poor people’s wedding. Literally. The thought made him cackle again, until he got a face full of salt water and choked on his. Toshi snickered at his back.
“Serves you right you chaos gremlin.”
“Shut up Toshi! Move your ass back to the shore before these innocent people become murderes because they decide to run us over with the ship.”
“You could move it for me.”
“Oh my god, you lazy ass panda. Fine.” Despite his complaints, Izuku started swimming into Sho’s direction, the others following right behind them.
“This is just reparations, you made me jump out of a crashing air craft you know.” Izuku just scoffed.
“I saved all of your ungrateful dumbass lives.”
When all of them stood on solid ground again, drenched in disgusting harbor water, Mei pulled out her baby 378. Which Izuku, with good reason, still had nightmares about. To be fair, she’d tested it out on the green haired boy, and he’d had to go Recovery Girl several times because the water in some body parts just- went missing. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. This baby instantly dried their clothes and hair, without causing any bodily harm this time.
Now dry, and slightly hysterical, Izuku looked at his friends. This, this wan not how they’d planed to spend their day. Planned had been going to some dump and scavenging for some useful parts before locking themselves in a room with an AC because it was HOT and watch a movie. Not whatever the hell they were doing right now.
“I think I know where we are.” He did, in fact recognise the structure of the harbor they were currently standing in. The one time Izuku had been here before was to look into a crime syndicate that supposedly made their money off of human trafficking. Since that was still in middle school, he couldn’t snoop around too long before he had to return home. However, the greenette DID know some things though.
“We’re in Fukuoka.” It was funny how all of his friend collectively froze.
“Isn’t that like, really far away from Musutafu? Kero?”
“Yup! There’s a pretty great benefit of being here though!”
“Other than not ending up as Swiss cheese for stealing from the mafia? Do tell.”
“Yes Sho, love you Sho, shut the hell up for s second Sho.” Sho only pouted. Izuku rolled his eyes.
“There’s a group here, in this harbor, who does human trafficking. Like, a lot. They’re big, bad, dangerous people. Yada yada, you guys in?”
“Whaaaa! Of course Deku, lets kick some major villain butt!” Pumping her fist in the air, Ocha’s eyes took on that familiar glint of determination. Maybe a teensy tiny bit of bloodlust too.
“Yes indeed! As aspiring heroes, we cannot let this go unpunished! I trust we do this and make our escape immediately after, like always?”
“Right you are, Yaya! Alright, let’s just. Blow that up.” Mei turned to face the building Izuku was gesturing at. It was ugly as hell anyways, a couple of craters in the landscape would really help the aesthetic. Not that Izuku would know with his, according to his friends, horrid fashion sense.
“OOoOoOo how do we blow it up? C4 maybe? I have around eleven pounds in each of my pant legs and I know you’ve got some too Izu. And Ocha too. So we’re at around 60 pounds, huh. NOPE, not enough. WAIT. Izu, structure?”
“Yup, blast it away and we’ll watch it crumble.”
“Want me to deal with the civilians, as always?” Oh, how Izuku loved it when his friends already knew what to do.
“Yup, Toshi, Yaya with Tsu.” They respond with a short nod and were off, leaving the demolition squad on their own. Mei, with her inventions, smarts and occasional bouts of ruthlessness. Ocha, who could lift all the rubble they could ever dream of and Sho, who was a vital part in stabilising structures. Well, and destabilising them. Then there was him, who didn’t have a quirk suited to this type of thing- or one at all. Not that that would hold him back, it was merely a minor setback. Plus, they didn’t use their quirks if it wasn’t absolutely unavoidable. For reasons, such as the obvious illegality of that. It wasn’t that they were abiding by the law, exactly, but whatever.
Whenever they knew beforehand that they’d cause massive areal damages, they’d pull the same schtick. Tsu, Toshi and Yaya were their evacuation. They’d run around and herd people away from the ground zero, claiming warnings of a bomb or an explosive villain attack. Anything to get the civilians to safety. There was this one time where Tsu had started screaming her head off about a last minute shoe sale because there was one woman who refused to move away from a (very real) bomb threat. Crazy enough, she started running as soon as if hell was after her the second Tsu mentioned a sale. What do you know.
“Mei, floor plan.” Needless to say, the inventor was already on it, furiously typing away on her laptop.
“Here you go, Izu dear!” He shot her a grateful look and started scanning the layout of the building. The warehouse, and why did it always have to be warehouses, was already falling apart it seemed. Not too much work for them to do, there weren’t even any calculations needed.
“Pft, alrighty then. Just blast the walls away, the concrete’s so brittle it’s basically just gonna turn to dust. Take a look at the floor plan. Also, I know I said that this would go boom-boom easily, but we’re still using all of our C4.” Mei looked positively delighted. Sho too, but far less obvious. You could only tell by the minuscule upwards twitch of his lips and the way his eyes suddenly screamed mischief. But like, whisper screamed. Only Ocha looked somewhat worried at the prospect at using 50 funds of C4 to blow up an unstable building. Still, what could possibly go wrong?
“Don’t look at me like that. We needa blast as soon as the building dead, kay?” Apparently, that was reassurance enough since the brunette only sighed fondly and nodded.
“Great! Operation ‘Boom Assholes, Bitches go YEET’, or BABY for short, is a go! Plant the explosives, children!” With that, Izuku ran head first into the building. Yes, he knew where he was going. Just not WHO he was going through, but it’d be fine. Yeah.
Spoiler Alert? It was NOT fine.
“Where on earth did aLL THESE- THESE THINGS COME FROM?” Looking over his shoulder while sprinting wasn’t his greatest move yet, and as if the universe seemed to want to prove him right, the boy smacked face first into a wall when he faced forward again. Luckily, the adrenaline prevented him from feeling any pain at that very moment and he bolted around the corner, catching a glimpse of the spot where he’d just stood being buried under what looked like a wave. Actually, it was a a wave. A flood, really. Just not of water. Little white creatures which reminded Izuku of overly fluffy bunnies, with so much fluff that not even their eyes or noses were visible but dang those teeth were sharp, were filling the hallways behind him. Hundreds, no thousand of those deadly fluffier were tumbling all over themselves in an attempt to try and bite him. Or eat him. Were they like piranhas? Who knows! Not him!
“WHAT THE FLIP EVEN ARE YOU? YOU’RE NOT- OW FUCKING HEEEEEEEELL!” Good thing the explosives were already attached to the walls in the lowers levels of the building, because Izuku doubted he could still do that now. Why? BECAUSE HE HAD A BALL OF CARNIVOROUS FLUFF CHOMPING DOWN ON HIS ARM, AND IT DIDN’T SEEM TO PLAN ON LETTING GO ANYTIME SOON. FUCK.
So, here he was, shooting out of a rundown warehouse towards Mei, Sho and Ocha who were already waiting, with what was doubtlessly a crazed expression, a man eating bunny stuck to his arm and a flood of said bunnies hot on his heels. Needless to say, Izuku was ready for this day to end.
“BLOW IT UP! NOW, DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOOD, PLEASE!” Without delay, his beautiful, perfect partner in crime Mei pressed the big ol’ button on the detonator. The shockwave of the resulting explosion catapulted him towards the waiting trio, and Izuku would have surely overshot and landed back in the water had Ocha not smacked him across the face (and why always the face?!), so that he was floating several yards above it. Ah, he loved having friends to do this kind of stuff with. Ocha pulled him back and turned him back around so that his set were pointing to the ground again.
“Thanks Ocha! If anyone asks we can just say that I lost my balance and fell, it’s not even technically a lie, so.”
“Mhm! No problem Deku! I have to ask though, what’s that?” Huh? Oh, she must be talking about the unidentifiable creature stuck to his arm. Honestly, Izuku had almost forgotten about that.
“I’ve no clue what he hell that is. I do know that it’s got sharp teeth. Let’s just, uhhhh, gift it to Mei? I’m sure we can find use for it.”
“Ah, I really don’t think you have to worry about that. There are enough of those creatures here, so she can take as many as she needs!” As many as she needs? Finally taking a proper look at the chaos they’d caused, he immediately understood what the brunette meant. The whole port looked as if someone had blown a hole into the ground and then it had snowed for weeks. While it was still smoking, on fire and crumbling. Sad thing was, that statement wasn’t even 100% wrong.
“Shouldn’t we start leaving? You did want us to get away from here as fast as possible.” Thank Nedzu for Sho. The four’s collective braincell, at least at this very moment.
“Whaaaa?! But I wanna study these evil little floss balls more! Aren’t they cute?! Check out their teeth, they can munch through metal! Look, look! If we can tame one of these, think of all the babies we could build for it Izu! THINK OF THE BABIES!”
“No time Meimei! We’re running away right now because thAT OVER THERE IS A COP CAR MOVE IT GUYS!” While yelling that last part, he’d already started pushing the rest of the demolition squad away and towards the shipping containers where they could go undetected.
When they’d run far enough into the maze of towering metal boxes and Izuku deemed it safe, he came to a stop and gasped for air. Assessing the situation, he concluded that all in all, they made it out of that mess with fairly few damages.
“Hey Deku, can you call the others?” Right. For some reason, he was the only one out of them who had a phone on him on all times. Ocha didn’t have the money right now (he was determined to just gift her a phone, it wasn’t as if he’d miss the money). No-one wanted to know what type of hellish abomination Mei would turn a phone into, and Sho always left it at home since Izuku found out that Endeavour was tracking him and monitoring all his activity.
After all seven of them met back up together, they headed to a nearby thrift store to get some inconspicuous disguises, before heading to the nearest train station. The ride back home lasted several hours, and their train arrived in a few minutes . A thought hit Izuku.
“Wait, do we even have enough money to get back home?” Wordlessly, Sho produced a gleaming golden credit card belonging to one Todoroki Enji. Izuku couldn’t even be surprised, this certainly wasn’t the most illegal thing they did today. Besides, the dude was a major ass anyways, flaming trash had it coming.
Inside the vehicle, people shot them annoyed and amused looks. Given that seven half dead looking teenagers were crammed into a sitting space for four people, limbs tangled together to fit without landing on the floor, Izuku supposed they did make for a peculiar picture. They were all exhausted and still had over five hours, so they unanimously came to the unspoken decision that the valuable time would be spent taking a nap. And thus, they were lying around in a comfortable silence. Until Sho broke said silence.
“We won’t make it back in time for dinner.” Izuku glanced at the digital clock attached to the celling. It read 4:56PM and they still had four and a half hours to go. It was pretty damn obvious that they wouldn’t be back for dinner, and Izuku said as much. Which caused Sho to pout adorably.
“I wanted to be back in time for dinner. Fuyumi is making cold soba and Natsuo always eat all of it if I don’t get home fast enough to get some.” How great it must be, to not have to worry about an angry mother grounding him. The greenette wasn’t delusional enough to believe that his mom hadn’t found out about their stunt already. She had a talent to sniff out her son’s idiocies after all. Then again, Midoriya Inko would probably end up fussing over all of them, so maybe Sho did have to worry. At least he’d get his cold soba, since Izuku’s mom always made everyone’s favourites when they pulled something big (or ridiculous) enough to end up on TV. Alas, there’d be mochi, katsudon, expresso as dark as the endless void of the universe and more.
GodIsAWoman: Over the course of the weekend, I’ve seen things that are not meant for a mere mortal’s eyes.
GodIsAWoman: So, I would like to officially renounce my vote on the Chaos Kings/Queens and give it to Midoriya instead of Ashido.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Great, I knew this would happen. Sho, you now owe Ocha ten bucks
GodIsAWoman: I’ve seen things, Kaminari. Things too vast for the human mind to understand, it left me truly baffled. They’re truly a king and his court.
PinkQueen: What? whatwhatwhat? Girl what did they do to you?
CTooru: Who even is ‘they’???
GodIsAWoman: The king and his court, I’m telling you.
SinnamonRoll: Oh c’mon Momo, lighten up! besides, I told you to call me Izuku, no?
GodIsAWoman: Of course, Izukun.
ManlyRock: Wait was Yaomomo was absorbed into the Dekusquad too?!
EmoBirb: The eternal dark void consumes indiscriminately and without mercy. It shall not halt its advances before all of us mortals face armageddon.
TemperaturePlay: He’s saying that Zuku will befriend everyone, and maybe I’ll just get Ocha a phone?
Froggers: You would know since you talk the same language, Sho-chan. Also, Izu-chan already got her a phone yesterday, kero.
ExplodoKills: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL AWAKE YOU DAMN IDIOTS
ExplodoKills: PINKY, DUNCE FACE, SHITTY HAIR I SWEAR IF YOU COME TO CLASS HALF DEAD TOMORROW I WILL KICK YOUR ASSES!!!
SinnamonRoll: Translation: Kacchan want you to go to sleep because he cares about your health.
ManlyRocks: Aw, Bakubro!
Wheeyyy: he’s crying…
ManlyRocks: Crying manly tears!
PinkQueen: Aw, our angry Pomeranian cares! Thank god for our personal translator!
SinnamonRoll: You’re welcome!
GodIsAWoman: Just thank Izukun directly, we mustn’t anger eldritch beings like them.
EmoBirb: I see that you have also fallen under the power of the dark lord. We shall hail his reign of chaos and aid his progress, as well as assist his entourage.
GodIsAWoman: Indeed we shall. Should you ever be in need of slingshots again, please do let me know.
CTooru: I feel like there’s a ridiculous story here
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Hagakure, maybe you should look into becoming a journalist in the future
PinkQueen: why do I feel like Midori is gaining a religious following?
Wheeyyy: oh so I’m not the only one? It’s like he has a cult or something
TemperaturePlay: There’s a church of Cha-
Froggers: There is no such thing, Sho-chan’s just tired and doesn’t know what he’s saying. Kero.
ManlyRock: I’m scared?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh, you most definitely should be. After all, the priestess is M-
RainingMen: There is no such thing, Hito’s just tired and doesn’t know what he’s saying. Yup.
RainingMen: Oh, Tsu! Look, we’re matching!
SinnamonRoll: Wait Tokoyami, weren’t you only there for the first goose fiasco?
EmoBirb: I feel as if that fateful encounter alone was enough to twist the strings of fate and that those furies are not something that bring a desirable death in their wake.
TemperaturePlay: What he means is that that one run in with the geese was enough for him, and he doesn’t feel like succumbing to death by geese.
Aizawa: How many goose incidents are there? I’m aware of three. Problem Child, you’re supposed to report every incident you get yourself into.
Wheeyyy: oh god even our teach is in Midoribro’s cult
Froggers: There have been a few goose incidents but only three of them involved any, uhm, legally ambiguous situations, kero.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Besides, I don’t think you’d get any sleep if Zuzu reported everything everything
Aizawa: He signed a contract, it’s legally binding.
RainingMen: Welp, I guess you doomed yourself then! Good luck!
PinkQueen: I feel like they’re excluding us from the conversation
CTooru: that’s bc they are
GodIsAWoman: Since yesterday, I can actually somewhat understand what they’re talking about. It was truly terrifying and enlightening.
ManlyRock: about that. Vice prez, you didn’t even tell us what happened!
GodIsAWoman: I would explain it to you, but alas I am not 100% certain myself.
SinnamonRoll: That’s alright, I can tell them! So, this is what went down yesterday.
The day had started, just like most days when stuff like this happened, exactly like any other perfectly ordinary day would start. Izuku had woken up, blearily trudged into the common room with his atrocious bedhead which Ocha immediately took upon herself to fix. Thus, the green haired boy was purring contentedly and melting in his friend’s lap while she was gently disentangling his mop of curls when Sho declared he craved ice-cream. Since impulsive urges for food were up there on the Dekusquad’s priority list, they called the other four to meet them at the from gate.
Outside the sun was shining and it was shining and it was pleasant enough, so the teens decided to take the scenic route and walk through a nearby park. Passing by a small lake, they spotted a flock of geese. Now, there had been several run-ins with these hell birds before, and although all of them possessed some form of homicidal tendencies, none of them were suicidal. So, they did the reasonable thing and started speed walking away.
At the ice-cream cart, all of them went plus ultra with the cold treats, ignoring Yaya’s lecturing about the risks of diabetes. They’d probably die of some hilariously idiotic death such as getting their heads stuck in a 20l aquarium, suffocating because they inhaled the fish and receiving Darwin Awards for their stupidity before diabetes could so much as touch them. Thinking about it, that probably wasn’t a good thing.
Anyways, they found Yaomomo looking at some pricey looking jewellery. Pricey, as in you’d-have-to-relieve-a-dozen-drug-dealers-of-their-funds-to-get-this-much-cash pricey. Apparently some distant cousin was turning 18.
Shortly after running into their fellow student, Izuku heard a sound. It wasn’t one easily forgotten either, no. There had to be millions of people whose nightmares were plagued by this particular sound.
“Honk.” Izuku would swear on his life that all these monsters had quirks. There was simply no other explanation. Something that has to do with paralysis through audio perception, because every time this sound was heard, people froze up.
“Yaomomo, I need you to make slingshots. Preferably big enough to shoot chicken.” Was it a bad thing that he was proud that his voice didn’t shake? Probably. However, he couldn’t find it in himself to care for he was regarding almost four dozen birds. God help them.
“Honk. Honk, honk, honk.” Without every taking his eyes of the devils, he leaped backwards and away from the biggest threat in the area. Due to the fact that Izuku was, in fact, jumping around without watching his surroundings, he rammed right into another person, who reflexively kept him from falling over by throwing his arms around Izuku’s shoulders. Recognising said person, the greenette’s brain immediately decided that this had more priority than his incoming doom in the form of brown feathers and beaks. So, Izuku turned around in the person’s arms and yanked the taller down by his collar as he stared right into the other’s eyes when he quietly spoke.
“I kissed Shouto, Natsuo and Fuyumi.” Sure enough, the surprise and protectiveness that he’d hoped for were visible, if only for a second.
“How did you know?” Flashing a mischievous smile in place of an answer, Izuku pulled Dabi even closer and kissed him full on the mouth. After freezing up at first, the villain practically melted and the hero student couldn’t help but mentally raise an eyebrow. That wasn’t to say that it was unpleasant. On the contrary, he was quite enjoying the way the villain quivered whenever Izuku licked over his tongue piercing.
“Mhm. You know, Sho owes me ten bucks now. Twenty actually, since you have a pierced tongue. Don’t tell them, but you’re by far the most talented out of the four of you. See you around Tou~ya!” Leaving the red faced villain helpless in the middle of a raging battlefield wouldn’t have been the morally right thing to do, and as an aspiring hero, that just wouldn’t do. In retrospect, launching a screeching goose to get Touya moving might not have been the most moral thing to doeither, but Izuku was sure that the way he’d done a double backflip to get the slingshot must’ve looked cool.
When he’d situated himself back in formation with his friends, he continued shooting geese at the, well…geese with Yao’s slingshots. What none of them had predicted was for one of those feathery gremlins to drop from the sky like a stone. Right onto Sho’s head. More exactly, they hadn’t expected Sho to react as violently as he did, namely freezing the whole street and park. Including the geese but more importantly, civilians hadn’t been spared.
After a second of incredulous gaping, Izuku raced after Touya.
“TOU- I MEAN. DABIIIIIIIIIII!” The addressed villain spun around, alarmed. Izuku, however, didn’t give him even a second before scooping him up and throwing him over his shoulder displaying a surprising amount of hysterical strength, and started sprinting back the way he came.
“The hell? You kiss me once and think you’re entitled to kidnapping me? Some hero you are.” That sounded decidedly too amused for Izuku’s liking, but he decided to let it slide just this once.
“Yeah, your baby brother caused a situation cuz he’s an idiot and I need your help. TOGA YOU’RE COMING TOO.” Surely enough, the hyper blonde coming bouncing out of a nearby alley and bounded towards the greenette who scooped her up and threw her over his other shoulder while the girl didn’t resist whatsoever, without slowing down.
“Fun! So, Greenie-cutie, what’s in it for me? OooOO I know, can I stab you? Just a bit?” Not even thinking about it, Izuku just readily agreed.
“Sure, yeah you can stab me. Just not right now. Want me to kiss you too? By the way, you’re both obviously touch started as all hell, basically like the rest of us, so you’re officially invited to our Sunday cuddle piles. I’ll text you my address later, I’ve had your numbers since the USJ anyways.” Toga seemed to startle at that, before breaking into a brilliant smile and hugging his waist upside down.
“Greenie-cutie really is the best! Hey, what’re we doing right now?” For some reason, the blonde’s good mood was contagious and Izuku couldn’t help but smile.
“We’re getting innocent people out of the ice that my idiot friends put them in because he couldn’t handle a bird crashing into his head. Also, don’t let these hell geese kill you. They’re worse than All for One himself, I swear. Just get them out without hurting them. That means no stabby stabby, looking at you Himiko.”
Needless to say, their homeroom teacher was not amused when he was informed of their activities, and it didn’t matter that this wasn’t planned.
“So, care to explain why almost half a block was encased in ice?” If looks could kill, their teacher would have just committed mass murder. Was there a word for killing your students? If there was, Izuku didn’t need to know it.
“A bird dropped onto Sho-chan and he panicked, kero.” Tsu’s blasé nature was genuinely appreciated, but this was one of the few situations where brutal honesty might not be the way to go.
“I see. And the reason why there are several scorch marks scattered around, and why are there so many knives?”
“Zuku was worried about the civilians, so he kidnapped the villains Dabi and Toga Himiko to help dig the people out of the ice. Even if their methods were rather…unconventional, no innocents were harmed aside from some minor frostbite. Maybe someone caught a cold.” Again, why did the two people least suited for this type of situation do the talking? Aizawa just sighed tiredly and tilted his head skywards, as if to ask whatever entity resided up there what he did to deserve this. To be fair, Izuku was aware that they were a bit much sometimes, but oh well.
“Out of my sight. Problem Children, the whole lot of you.”
As this whole ordeal went down, somehow the Dekusquad forgot the presence of one raven haired vice class president. Who stood there gaping at her classmates and her teacher, who acted as if this absolute mess was something that happened every other day. Which it did, to be fair, but there was no need for her fragile mind to be made aware of that.
“S-sensei? You’re just going to let us go, just like that? Shouldn’t there be an investigation? Or, or at least you should take us all to the station to be questioned! Moreover, what about the villains?”
Aizawa craned his neck in a horror movie like angle and stared at Yaomomo as if he hadn’t noticed her. His eyes comically widened as what little was left of his will to live ascended to the heavens, and it caused Izuku to choke on his laughter of malicious glee.
“Yaoyorozu.” Their teacher sounded positively terrified right now, looking at the girl with his neck turned like an owl’s. Toshi choked along with Izuku now. “Please. Why are you here? Please tell me you aren’t a part of them. I can’t deal with them having any object they wanted. The crazy one will blow up Japan. No, the world. Now that you’ve joined them, we might as well just give up. There’s no point. Absolutely no point in resisting anymore…just embrace it…”
While the underground hero continued to mutter disturbing nonsensical words, the poor girl was freaking out so badly that Izuku almost felt enough pity to explain to her. But naw, this was way too hilarious, so here he was, trying to keep it down together with his purple haired friend, who was always down for making Aizawa despair.
“Wha-?! Sensei, I’m not a part of anything! Who is they? Are the villains? Oh they must be if they’re planning to blow up Japan, but why would you think I’d ever join such people?” Yaya, who was visibly arguing with himself about the situation, let out an affronted squaka and the green haired boy snorted, only to slap a hand over his mouth. Yoamomo shrieked in alarm when their teacher just slumped over face first, having conjured his eye watering yellow sleeping bag out of thin air.
Sho, ever the seemingly stoic guy, walked toward the yellow abomination on the ground and lightly kicked it. It didn’t move. With a completely and utterly deadpan expression he turned to look at the other teens, who were looking back at him expectantly. What he said next, and the way he said it absolutely seriously, left the ravenette speechless. She just mirrored their teacher and stared blankly ahead.
“Oh shit. He dead.” Because since when could Shouto meme? Well, since Izuku taught him. Even Yaya could meme now, after all! Shame that he didn’t do it more often really, but Izuku would be on the floor cackling as soon as the day arrived when he did it in front of they classmates.
Leaving behind their malfunctioning classmate and deceased teacher, (May he finally get some goddamed sleep wherever he was, Izuku was jealous of that lucky chucklefuck.) the group decided that after this much exertion, they deserved more ice cream. Not even Yaya was complaining at this point. And that was that.
PinkQueen: wAIT! aizawa’s ded?
CTooru: Can we get back to the part where our supposedly innocent cinnamon roll shrub runs around collecting the todoroki family?? And like, kissing random villains???
Wheeyyy: naw that’s not too wierd he’s kissed a lotta ppl
ManlyRock: How would u even know that??
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh, he knows alright
Wheeyyy: im more interested if they showed up to the cuddle pile today
CTooru: Wait what’s this about Kami and Midori?
PinkQueen: Ohh???? WAIT
PinkQueen: Omfg I knew you had a crush Denki
PinkQueen: AND NOW I KNOW WHO ITS ON MWUAUAU
Wheeyyy: ITS NOT LIKE THAT
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Aaaand here comes the denial.
Froggers: I don’t think you have too much room to talk here, Hito-chan. Kero.
CTooru: Oh I am so happy, the tea is S P I L L I N G tonite
PinkQueen: Same girl, same
TemperaturePlay: Tsu’s right, you know.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh shut up, as if you’re any better
TemperaturePlay: I’m not denying anything, I’m just not outright stating it.
RainingMen: I think the whole Dekusquad doesn’t have much room to talk here. ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶
MotherOf388: Everyone loves everyone, there ya go. But most importantly. IZU I NEED YOU TO TEST BABY 390 BETA RIGHT NOW!!!
ManlyRock: Wait so are y’all in a poly relationship?
GottaGoFast: We are not in a poly relationship.
Wheeyyy: Iida y are u even awake rn?
SinnamonRoll: Ah, he’s with Meimei. She’s doing maintenance on his exhausts. Since Yaya’s over there anyways, I don’t see the need for me coming?
PinkQueen: doing maintenance at midnight? Sounds pretty irresponsible class prez
PinkQueen: and Kami, we’re still gunna talk abt ur crush u can’t escape
MotherOf388: IZU you need to move your butt over here cuz Tenya’s a wuss and I wrecked him really good
CTooru: ‘We are not in a poly relationship.’ He says. Uhuuuuuu
SinnamnRoll: We’re not! We’re all just incredibly confused with our sexualities.
SinnamonRoll: Doesn’t help that we’re surrounded by ridiculously good looking people.
Wheeyyy: lol everyone’s getting outed tday
ManlyRock: Bro, that includes u
PinkQueen: DENKI HAS A CRUSHHHHH
PinkQueen: ON MIDORIIIII
CTooru: To be fair here, everyone has a crush on Midori
SinnamonRoll: EHHHHHH? I mean, I’m really flattered but EHHHH?!
ManlyRock: But how many ppl managed to get a kiss?
ManlyRock: it sounds like our Denki here managed to get a kissssssss
Froggers: I think you should ask who Izu-chan hasn’t kissed, kero.
PinkQueen: Wait, really? THAT MANY?
CTooru: C’mon numbers, Midori, numbers
ManlyRock: What abt Bakubro?
TemperaturePlay: Oh he’s been had several times. It’s always hilarious since he can’t decide if he dislikes it or not.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Pft, that one time on the market was great. Zuzu just walked up to him, smooched him and walked away. Bakubitch was so lost.
PinkQueen: Who would have expected that from sweet little Midori?
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Sweet little Midori? You should see him when he goes off on someone, it’s honestly kinda scary.
TemperaturePlay: And so, so hot
Sleep?Who’sShe?: I mean, you’re not wrong
SinnamonRoll: It’s a battle strategy!
CTooru: I don’t see it
SinnamonRoll: It’s psychological warfare! Sharing a kiss with someone makes that person trust you instinctively, as long as it was pleasant enough and not forced. Plus, if people get embarrassed in the middle of battle, it’s still good for me and bad for them.
ManlyRock: That sounds more like Midobro. Srsly tho, who haven’t u kissed?
SinnamonRoll: Uhm. I havent kissed Aizawa-sensei? And I’m not planning on it!
RainingMen: You haven’t kissed the man himself but you were close enough! 。ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ。
Wheeyyy: What are you- OH
PinkQueen: Midori tried to kiss Aizawa?!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: No, but he made out with his sleeping bag.
CTooru: wtf Midori?
SinnamonRoll: I was high okay?
ManlyRock: I dun think thats okay bro
MotherOf388: IZU HURRY
SinnamonRoll: Coming, coming!
PinkQueen: Now hold on we aint done here
SinnamonRoll: Mei’s calling, gotta go!
Wheeyyy: he gone
CTooru: don’t think you’re getting outta this young man
Wheeyyy: Oh look, the routers’s gonna fry! Whatever shall we do??
PinkQueen: Denki DONT YOU DARE-
SinnamonRoll: So uh, does anyone know why literally every single person stared after me in the halls today?
SinnamonRoll: Even the 2nd and 3rd years, I don’t think they blinked either. Did something happen??
EmoBirb: They are merely pondering wether or not they shall challenge your rein of anarchy.
GodIsAWoman: They are not yet certain that you should be granted the title of the ruler of pandemonium.
PinkQueen: …im still not over the fact that we now have two of them like???
IHearEverything: Huh, I like her this way.
GodIsAWoman: Thanks Kyoka <3
CTooru: Pft ofc you do
SinnamonRoll: So I’m heading back to the dorms right now.
SinnamonRoll: People are still staring at me.
SinnamonRoll: Someone send help?
SinnamonRoll: It’s like those NPCS in games that just stare at you and turn around to continue staring.
SinnamonRoll: Or like a missile launcher that’s locked onto its target.
SinnamonRoll: Seriously someone help I’m kinda freaking out!
RainingMen: You can deal with people trying to shoot you to bits, you can deal with this Deku!
I believe in you! (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง
ManlyRock: uhm, the staring thing is kinda my fault. And mina’s. And hanata’s. Aaaand also denki’s?
ScottishScotch(Tape): wait how and why am I involved??
PinkQueen: you were there! So you’re guilty by association!
ScottishScotch(Tape): I don’t think that how it works…
Wheeyyy: just roll with it man
SinnamonRoll: Can someone tell me wants happening? Please?
ManlyRock: Alright! So you know how we were voting on who the most chaotic first year is right?
SinnamonRoll: Yeah you mentioned that, but what does that have to do with anything?
ManlyRock: We might have mentioned the whole voting thing after some 2nd years were talking about you and now it’s somehow turned into a competition of which student in the whole school can cause the most havoc.
ManlyRock: so now everyone is just wrecking things, not just the first years
SinnamonRoll: Aizawa-sensei I am SO SORRY!
ScottishScotch(Tape): the dude’s been running around trying to do damage control he has no time to text
PinkQueen: yeah, its ‘fix student’s messes, pass out-repeat’
SinnamonRoll: Hold on. Kiri you said you mentioned it because people were talking about me?
Wheeyyy: omg don’t tell me you don’t know
SinnamonRoll: Don’t know what???
ManlyRock: theres a clip of you and Hawks together
SinnamonRoll: Eh? Wait from when?
PinkQueen: From Sunday? Or like, early yesterday morning. Really early
SinnamonRoll: Oh, are Keigo and I dancing?
Wheeyyy: uh no? You’re taking down a couple dozen thugs who were planning on overrunning the new amusement park?
SinnamonRoll: Yeah, we were dancing.
ManlyRock: are we talking about the same thing here?
PinkQueen: OMG im rewatching it rn and they ARE dancing!
PinkQueen: theres literally a part where Hawks dips Midori and then spins him wtf
Wheeyyy: wtfwtfwtfwtf that move took out like 5ppl wth
SinnamonRoll: I didn’t even realise anyone was watching that, I thought they’d all evacuated! Dammit.
ScottishScotch(Tape): Is that a bad thing tho?
SinnamonRoll: Sigh. Naw it’s fine, Keichan’s gonna laugh his ass off because I caused another scandal.
SinnamonRoll: ‘Is the number two hero dating a UA student?’ Like sure we’re only five and a bit years apart but damn people. That’s illegal in other countries excuse you? Chile, anyways.
SinnamonRoll: As I said, he won’t mind.
ManlyRock: aren’t we gonna question the fact that Midobro calls the number 2 hero by a nickname?
Wheeyyy: more importantly: has bakugou heard you call Hawks that?
SinnamonRoll: Yeah, he wasn’t happy. Kacchan can’t do anything about it though so he can go suck it.
PinkQueen: what was that u said abt scandals?
SinnamonRoll: Right, there was the thing where everyone thought I was Shinji’s bastard brother. Uh, Kamui Woods’ I mean. Also, Edgeshot locked himself in his panic room for a few days because he though he was being haunted by a vengeful forest sprite.
Wheeyyy: do we ask for a clarificiation or like???
SinnamonRoll: I accidentally broke into his apartment and ate all his honey. He had a lot of honey. I also think that I was covered in glitter but the memories are a little hazy.
ScottishScotch(Tape): so I just finished reading the article about the whole hawks thing
PinkQueen: you read the articel????
ScottishScotch(Tape): pft yea and I’m hella glad
ScottishScotch(Tape): so anyways, why were there chicken nuggets stuffed into the villains’ mouths??
SinnamonRoll: Well, you see…
Aizawa had been watching them the whole Sunday. Now, that in itself wasn’t exactly unusual since he was their homeroom teacher and dorm supervisor, but Izuku just had a feeling. Years of not really but kinda vigilantism had taught him to trust his instincts, and now was one of the times.
When dinner came around, the hero’s eyes were following their every move. More specifically, he was focused on Izuku and his friends. While that also wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, today he seemed extra focused, intently watching each action closely.
Everything in Izuku screamed to keep his friends safe, but he pushed that urge down. This was his teacher, Eraserhead had proved time and time again that Izuku could trust him, even if the man was a bit of an ass sometimes. So, the boy chose to inconspicuously observe the other in turn.
Today was Sunday, meaning that they all ate together since no-one wanted to miss out on Kacchan’s cooking, even if it meant consuming copious amounts of milk if you weren’t the Izuku or the cook himself. The greenette sat down as far away from his teacher as possible, hoping to keep a low profile. Which proved to be futile since Eraser’s eyes immediately snapped to him, resulting in him looking away and trying to act innocent. Actually, why was he doing that? It’s not as if he had done something wrong as of late. At least he though not, but sometimes his memories were a bit blurry (see the so called ‘Forest Sprite Haunting’).
As all of his classmates enthusiastically dug into their food, Izuku took his sweet time shovelling minuscule amounts of rice onto his plate. He lifted the spoon. Watched as 90% of the grains fell back into the bowl and dumbed the few remaining ones onto his plate. He counted the grains on his plate. There were 78. Stealing a glance at Aizawa only to see him narrow his eyes at Izuku, he quickly looked away again and continued with his rice counting. When he deemed the amount of amassed rice sufficient (exactly 222 single grains), he picked out a single piece and cut it into ten pieces with his spoon as best as he could. After he was done with that, he stared pushing precisely eleven and a tenth kernels of rice onto his spoon and ate those.
It was weird how people zoned out when they were trying to stall for time and became hyper focused on a task, but it happened to him quite often. Izuku was startled back into reality when Sato slumped over and smashed his face into his curry with a squelching sound which seemed to shock all of them into silence. Then, as if a switch had ben flicked, his classmates dropped, one by one landing on the table or floor with resounding thuds. Frozen, the sole surviving student turned to look at his teacher who was now sporting a devious grin.
“Eat your curry, problem child.” After one more moment of blank staring, Izuku started vehemently shaking his head. This was unacceptable! Aizawa was using what the green haired boy had done to put the underground hero to sleep against him! The audacity! He would not be cowed by this!
“No!” Ostensibly, this wasn’t the correct answer, as his teachers face seemed to take on a slightly manic edge. Oh, also his hair and scarf started floating. Did he mention the eyes? There was also teething with the eyes.
“Go to bed, problem child.” And yeah, okay that was a growl. His teacher growled at him. Also, his teacher knocked out his whole class, probably in a desperate attempt to get a single night of rest. Too bad he hadn’t taken Izuku screeching like a Kakapo in hell into the equation, because boy the bitch was getting outta here.
“NOOOOOO!” Manic underground hero as a teacher equals hysterical ex vigilante as a student. That’s how math works, yep.
“GET BACK HERE!” Nope. Nope, nope, nopedy nope nope. With no trace of hesitation, izuku vaulted over the kitchen counter, grabbed a frying pan, frisbeed it into the window and Indiana Jonesed it out of there. He could hear Aizawa yelling but there was no way the boy was going anywhere near that.
Despite having little hope, he checked in with the general- and support departments, only to see if Mei or Toshi were awake but sure enough, it seemed as if though all of the first year’s student body had been knocked out. Damn man.
After a dramatic round of sighing and disabling the alarms on the walls, Izuku was just wandering the streets of Musutafu. Take into consideration that Izuku was still growing (yeah right) (shut up) and hadn’t had dinner yet, it was rather easy to predict where he was going. Sadly he had grossly overestimated how hungry he was. As in, a lot, but that was what happened when one knocked out his friends and left him unsupervised.
In a not so rare stroke of genius, Izuku decided to summon a demon. The only way to accomplish such a feat with a surefire 100% success rate was to do it from a building with at least 14 floors. Why 14 you ask? To give the demon sufficient time to appear, of course!
Balancing precariously on the edge and staring down onto the lights of traffic, Izuku felt calm for once. Cities by night always had that effect on him. Anyways, he was here for a reason. With a flourish, the greenette turned the bucket upside down and let the offering fall. Right before his very eyes, it was scooped up midair as a red shadow streaked past the building, only to reappear behind him.
“Izuku! Thanks for the meal!” Keichan, known to anyone else as Hawks, was standing there in al his red feathery glory while beaming with his mouth stuffed full of chicken. Izuku still thought it was cannibalism.
“Keichan! Take me out to do something.” Alright so maybe he want meant for that to come out as bratty and demanding as it did, but no sense crying over spilled milk.
“Ah? Quite forward today, are we? No worries Kid, I shall make it my duty to please you.” Huffing, the boy smacked the hero’s shoulder.
“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it. Eraser knocked out all of my friends along with everyone else in our first year. The third years are all out for their internships and I don’t know anyone in the second year, so I have nothing to doooo.”
“Gasp! You wound me, so you’re not here because you wanted to spend time with me? Oh, the tragedy!”
“Oh shut up! Last time we hung out, you got us banned from all of the KFCs in Shinjuku, Shibuya and Bunkyō! WE WEREN’T EVEN IN BUNKYŌ!”
“Well I mean, I fell like that was your fault. After all, you wanted to stage the Romeo and Juliette suicide with a guillotine made out of feathers.”
“We were banned for a week from the whole Minato district because they thought the Russians were attacking when you gave that little kid a ride on your feathers.”
“Yeah well, they’re all really paranoid and need to stop getting their feathers ruffled over every little thing.
“The commission’s going to lock you up again. I can only miss so many classes to go jailbreaking.”
“Haaaa I really appreciate when you d that, but don’t you mean jail-birding?”
“That was just plain awful. Anyways, where are we going Keichan?”
“Hmmmm there’s this amusement park that’s having a grand opening in…” Keigo slipped his phone out of his pocket to check the time. “17 minutes, at 7:30PM. Wanna go check it out?”
“Isn’t that only for people who have reservations? I think I read somewhere that they don’t want too many people in there right now so they don’t have that much clean up work for tomorrow, when they open it properly. Like, in the daytime.”
“Kid please, I’m a charming young man, I’m sure I can arrange for something. If not we’re just winging it.”
“You are absolutely horrible, but I am suddenly craving cotton candy so I don’t care if the world burns we’re going to the amusement park.” Izuku marched up to to the other and threw his arms around his neck, looking up expectantly. “Take me away, my pretty bird!”
“As long as you continue talking birdy to me? With pleasure.” Fondly rolling his eyes, the younger snorted.
“You just wanted an excuse to make a bird pun just now, don’t even deny it.” He only got a mischievous smile in response.
As it turns out, being the number two hero opens doors. Or gates, in this case since Keigo was literally asked to open the front gates to the amusement park to let the dozens of visitors in. He did so, but not before extravagantly bowing and brandishing his large red wings. What a show bird. Oh god no, he was thinking in bird puns now. Someone stop him.
After signing a few autographs and greeting a few fans, Keigo made his way back to him. First things first because priorities are important, the greenette got himself a larger than life cotton candy while the blonde bought a bucket of chicken nuggets of the same size.
The park was really nice and Izuku enjoyed the atmosphere, even if it wasn’t any different from other parks of this sort. At least this was the case until the first scream echoed out.
Instead of panicking, the hero and her in training looked at each other and sighed with a muted sense of grief. Rationally, they were both very much aware that they were magnets of unfortunate n their own and that the effect was multiplied by a thousand whenever they were together, but still. They couldn’t help hoping for one day of hanging out without getting kicked out out somewhere.
The security staff were doing a good job at evacuating the civilians and leading them away from the group of villains. Well, he wasn’t too sure if they were villains right now. Sure they had broken into an amusement park, but Izuku had broken into a government restroom and other governmental facilities before, so he could say from experience that breaking and entering wasn’t that much of a big deal. Besides, the villains? were inspecting a carousel right now. Seemed innocent enough, plus-aaand nope.
One had pulled out a baseball batt and started bashing down on the console. Which, too be honest- if you wanna trash a theme park, don’t bring a wooden baseball batt. Please people, common sense.
Suddenly, the ferris wheel started moving again and Izuku looked over to see a small group of thugs fidgeting in the cabin. With the ferris wheel’s movement, music started blaring from the speakers. His eyes lit up with excitement as he whipped around to look for Kei. It wasn’t hard, given his friend had ginormous wings.
“HEY KEICHAN!” His yelling had attracted two stragglers who broke out of the group and headed for him. Really they weren’t even trying and Izuku had them down in three seconds flat. “KEICHAN MUSIC! DANCE WITH ME!”
Just as Izuku came close enough for Keigo to touch him, the hero whirled around and grabbed his hand. “Well Kid. This wasn’t how I thought it would go but I’m not complaining.” The greenette poked a would be assailant in the eye with the remainder of his cotton candy. Before Keigo could abandon all his chicken nuggets, they were scoped up and stuffed down the throat of various strangers.
“You and I both know something like this would happen.” Kei lashed out with a kick, just as Izuku slumped to the side dramatically, using the blonde’s momentum to swing back up and nail a random dude in the face. Go him.
While the hero in training jumped onto an attackers shoulders toppling him forward, Keigo used his wings to sweep thugs off of their feet and onto their asses where they were easy prey, and Izuku pulled him back to his feet. It wasn’t necessary, but it was fun.
What would have been a classic ballroom lift, what with Keigo holding onto his sides and lifting him straight up, ended with his friend eating Izuku backwards over the blonde’s head. The boy let out a bewildered noise as he went sailing head first into the man with the batt, who had joined the battle who knows when, and tackled him like a cat.
Keichan was smoothly waltzing by and just scooped Izuku up on the way and they twirled around, knocking a few people away. Finally, Kei dropped him into a dip and Izuku kicked his foot out, earning the crunch of a broken nose and a yelp of pain from the dude who thought he could sneak up behind his friend. Pah, not on his watch, no Sir.
“Ah, Kei looks like they’re all dead.” The hero pulled him up from his position and studied the scene with observant amber eyes. There were people strewn about everywhere on the ground, some completely unconscious while others were clutching injured body parts and groaning in pain.
“Nah, they ain’t dead. That would get me some lawsuits and bad publicity, plus it would get you less classes and more time breaking me out.”
“They’re all wusses anyways, it would’ve been their own fault. You didn’t even use your feathers.”
“We can’t all function as a human machine gun.”
“Says the guy who can literally shoot his feathers through concrete.” Keigo looked down to him and pouted like a child.
“I liked it better when you just clung to me and called me pretty bird.” Laughing, the greenette latched onto the blonde’s arm.
“Alright then, my pretty bird. I didn’t get to finish my cotton candy and you know how I get when I don’t reach my prescribed sugar intake.”
PinkQueen: i- is it a bad thing that I’m not even that surprised anymore? Not even that our teacher drugged us?
Wheeyyy: OMG I JUST GOT IT
ManlyRock: what? Denki what???
Wheeyyy: ITS MIDORI’S QUIRK!
CTooru: That would make SO MUCH SENSE
CTooru: Also, you never told us what your quirk is, did you Midori?
SinnamonRoll: Sorry, I can’t. It’s a government secret.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Pft government secret my ass.
SinnamonRoll: IT IS! Ask literally anyone!
ScottishScotch(Tape): @Aizawa why hasn’t Midori told us his quirk?
Aizawa: Government secret.
PinkQueen: WAIT REALLY?
SinnamonRoll: Well, I mean kinda. If the public found out I’d make the hero commission look bad by being more competent than them.
ManlyRock: Midobro are you a government experiment perhaps?
TemperaturePlay: I though so too at first, but sadly he’s not.
SinnamonRoll: Wha-?! Sadly?!
Wheeyyy: You’d make them look bad? What do you meannnnnnn
RainingMen: Pah! Only because they’re a bunch of pansies. They even wanted to pull Deku out of UA so we had to blackmail them! (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)
ScottishScotch(Tape): maybe you shouldn’t confess things like that where a pro hero can see them? Just sayin
Aizawa: My kids blackmailing the state because the authorities are being quirkist asshole, where? Oh, to see with no eyes. Impossible.
PinkQueen: LOL GO OFF SENSEI your respect points just went up to 9000
CTooru: ohhhh Aizawa-seinsei’s calling them ‘his kids’ he’s a big softie inside
GottaGoFast: It was indeed necessary to enlist my brother’s help. They were being most unethical, we could not condone such preposterous behaviour!
ManlyRock: Is it just me or does anyone else feel as if the Dekusquad’s the mafia?
Wheeyyy: oh, oh! Can I join? Pleaseeeee I’ve always wanted to be mafia!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh? You think you can handle it?
RainingMen: I’m sure he’ll be fine, Kaminari is in the hero course with us after all!
ManlyRock: DENKI DUDE! You’re betraying the Bakusquad? That’s so unmanly!
Wheeyyy: But Kiri, they’re MAFIA!
MotherOf388: OOOOOO THE ELECTRIC GENERATOR ONE?
SinnamonRoll: Yup, that’s the one!
MotherOf388: IZU DEAR YOU SAID HE COULD SUSTAIN TOKYO FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE DAYS!!!
Wheeyyy: I- no I really can’t?
SinnamonRoll: Psh, of course you can! It’s the way your quirk works, silly. You constantly and passively produce electrical energy which is being stored in your body. That’s why you have such a hard time managing your output!
ManlyRock: you broke him, denki looks really constipated rn
RainingMen: It’s okay Kaminari! He did that to me too! (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧
Wheeyyy: you mean flip your reality upside down and make you question if everything you ever thought you knew about yourself is a lie!
RainingMen: It’s kinda Deku’s thing . <(￣︶￣)>
SinnamonRoll: See, you gotta imagine it like holding back a flood wave with a dam. To manage your output, you need to imagine poking tiny little holes into the wall instead of just breaking the whole thing down with a giant wrecking ball, you get what I’m saying?
PinkQueen: midori is secretly Einstein is confirmed. can you do that for my quirk too?
SinnamonRoll: Sure! By the way Kaminari, before you decide on joining us maybe you wanna do a test run for a day?
Wheeyyy: oh ok sure!
ScottishScotch(Tape): wow, I always knew that pikachu would be the one to stab us in the back
Wheeyyy: I repeat: THEY’RE MAFIA how could I not want to join them???
PinkQueen: oh man, you’re not gonna strive yo first day
ManlyRock: welp he’s pouting at his phone now
Froggers: Alright, we’re going to come for you tomorrow at 8PM, kero.
Wheeyyy: what? That sounds kinda ominous…
TemperaturePlay: You don’t need to worry, we’ll find you.
Wheeyyy: still ominous? I- are you planning a hit on me right now???
SinnamonRoll: Nope, we’re just gonna pick you up for the test run!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: good luck my dude, you’re going to need it. My initiation was hellish.
Wheeyyy: im scared
GottaGoFast: You signed up for this, now deal with it.
PinkQueen: holy shit class prez is brutal I-
Wheeyyy: I chaned my mind I don wanna be mafia aynmore
PinkQueen: called it
CTooru: see, this is what I stayed up and am sacrificing my beauty sleep for
Wheeyyy: uhhh but u r incsvble?
PinkQueen: GASP HOW DARE YOU
Wheeyyy: im sorey?
PinkQueen: yeah you better be but whatever, what did they do? Where did u go?
Wheeyyy: I don’t unerdtsnad how tey have o much energy left? leik we were trainng all day today an they had enoughh juice leftover to rjn around the city for almost 6h and I am literlly dead on my feets
PinkQueen: mhm yeah hon it shows, you’re making a lot of typos rn
PinkQueen: well, more than usual anyways
Wheeyyy: dint drink teh tap watrr youll get electrpcuted im not
Wheeyyy: rly sure waht exctly happen d but there ws this rat bastrd?? And we chwesd him through the sewers but ten edned in the citys wter treatment faiclity? And I electrcuted it adn now everyting electrically charged
PinkQueen: istg tomorrow in the new they’re gonna say its a terrorist attack or some bs like that
Aizawa: Sigh, and this is exactly why I try my best to keep anyone from getting absorbed into that particular group of problem children.
CTooru: oh Aizawa-sensei, are u doing paperwork because of their uhh, excursion?
Aizawa: What? No they didn’t get caught, so no-one need to know. Thus, it never happened and there’s no need to file reports and damage bills for something that doesn’t exist, right?
CTooru: y-yes! Of course not!
Aizawa: Good, now go to sleep children.
PinkQueen: notice how he doesn’t call us problem children?
Wheeyyy: im tlelnig you, our taecher s MAFIA
PinkQueen: go to sleep Kami
Wheeyyy: g’night minaa
CTooru: yup, he’s out cold
SinnamonRoll: The staring thing has gotten worse?
SinnamonRoll: Also, there have been several people who came up to me and congratulated me for becoming a meme? Why?
PinkQueen: oh it’s the absolute best
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Thanks, I hate it.
SinnamonRoll: Toshi? Why do people never tell me these kinds of thingsssss
TemperaturePlay: Because it’s more amusing to watch you freak out about it.
SinnamonRoll: You’re such a good friend Sho. But seriously what happened now?
ScottishScotch(Tape): someone on the boat got it on video when you crashed that wedding
ManlyRock: and there’s a shot where all of u are still in the air
Sure enough, as soon as Izuku looked it up he couldn’t keep himself from wheezing. Sho was just above the waves upside down, facing the camera with his hands clasped on his thighs, body ramrod straight and his usual deadpan expression firmly in place, even in that situation.
As expected of Mei, the genius (and honestly absolute nuts) inventor was upright, her hover boots shooting out bright blue flames.
Ocha was curled into a tight ball, still a few yards over the water and just divebombing downwards with closed eyes and a mouth opened in a shriek, and Tsu, as unbothered ass Sho, was right there next to the brunette, diving into the waves head first with her tongue poking out like it was second nature. Which well, Izuku supposed it was.
Izuku couldn’t suppress a snort when he saw himself and Toshi. He had one arm around his friend and the other up in the air as if he was riding a roller coaster. What was obviously the grin of an absolute madman was painted on his face for all the world to see, as well as that manic glint in his eyes, while Toshi was visibly terrified and holding onto Izuku like it’s nobody’s business. Also, did he already bring up the fact that all of their falling forms were trailed by a cloud of glitter? Normally it wouldn’t be visible in a picture like this, but the explosion’s light hit the sparkles just right to make the pink twinkles noticeable.
The thing that got the greenette bursting out laughing was Yaya. His blue haired friend looked simultaneously exited while managing to express utter disappointment in all of them. He was also flailing his limbs in a vaguely robotic manner, even mid air. The giant sparkly pink cloud didn’t help Izuku take Yaya seriously.
There were various lettering on them, and some were scarily accurate. ‘Look at my face. I might look innocent but you can tell this whole situation is my fault.’ Was written on the top of the photo, with an arrow to Izuku. Now that was just unfair. Yes, most of the time it was his fault but this time it actually wasn’t. Well, the whole meeting themselves about a thousand kilometres was his fault, but it wouldn’t have happened if Meimei hadn’t insisted on stealing from the actual mafia.
Another one said ‘My god said to jump. So I jumped.’ and was placed right above Sho’s feet. Then there were various other ones saying stuff like ‘Yeah, this is what every normal person does on a Saturday afternoon.’ or ‘When the cops ask you to pull over YOU FUCKING RUN.’.
SinnamonRoll: Guess I’m going to be an influencer instead?
TemperaturePlay: That sounds like a bad idea.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Zuzu, do you really think it’s a good idea to get the type of stuff we do on camera?
Froggers: We’d be collecting evidence against ourselves. Kero.
SinnamonRoll: I wasn’t even serious, jeez!
RainingMen: Well to be fair, you’re really impulsive Deku. I wouldn’t be surprised if you started a youtube channel just to roast pros and villains. ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌
GottaGoFast: Izuku, no. You’re legally forbidden from ever publicising your analyses.
SinnamonRoll: Aw man, c’mon Yaya let me have my fun.
GottaGoFast: If I let you, Hitoshi and Shouto have your fun people will end up dead.
TemperaturePlay: Only the trash that deserves it.
SinnamonRoll: Mhm mhm! And if that trash happens to be 6,4 feet tall with a blood group of AB and a social security number of 617-1-
GottaGoFast: And that’s enough of that! We’ll do this the ethical way!
ManlyRock: phew thank Iida! I thought I had to prevent Midobro from committing a murder. Which is so not manly, by the way
GottaGoFast: Yes! We’ll ruin his self esteem and sanity until he can’t bring himself to crawl from his bed.
Wheeyyy: …mommy pick me up I’m scared
CTooru: so I was just wondering, anything interesting happen today?
Wheeyyy: im still recovering from Wednesday
SinnamonRoll: Nah, but Sho is now Ocha’s new favourite person cuz he makes the best mochi.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: We also once again confirmed that Zuzu is incapable of feeling pain, proved by the fact that he literally made curry with a 1:2 spice to curry ratio.
SinnamonRoll: Uhm. Blame Kacchan? I know he enjoyed it.
Froggers: There’s also the kitchen. It’s kind of wrecked now, kero.
RainingMen: Oh, you mean the cabinet door that’s stuck in the sink? ∴(O艸O★)
Froggers: I was talking about how Mei-chan modified the trash can and it’s now both sentient and carnivorous, but that too I guess. We’re also out of sprinkles, kero.
PinkQueen: I am never going in there ever again
CTooru: good thing I never set foot in there huh?
Wheeyyy: I’ll buy more sprinkles!
SinnamonRoll: hey why are the dorms so empty right now?
GottaGoFast: It appears to me that most of the students are out voting at this moment!
SinnamonRoll: Eh? Voting for what?
GottaGoFast: Ehem. Maybe you should go look for yourself.
PinkQueen: I totally voted for you Midori!!
SinnamonRoll: For me? In what? What can I be voted for?
PinkQueen: ehhhhh?! Why, you’re being voted as king! Midori’s going to royalty!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Oh please, Zuzu already is.
PinkQueen: yeah, but this stuff is official
PinkQueen: as in, a school sanctioned event
SinnamonRoll: Whaaaa why didn’t I know about this? Yaya come on, we’re heading out right now!
Izuku pocketed his phone and moved to open his door. Granted, he may not be sure what exactly Mina was electing him for, but he’d be damned if he didn’t find out. This whole thing about being royalty sounded like a pain in the ass. Now obviously he wouldn’t actually be a king or whatever, but it still sounded like responsibility and even worse, publicity. As someone aiming for underground heroics he had a natural aversion to cameras!
“Yaya! Come on, you can tell me what’s happening on the way there.” His (slightly bespectacled) friend was already waiting at the front door and easily fell into step next to him.
“Apparently this election was indirectly caused by Kaminari, Ashido, Sero and Kirishima. They were the one’s who started this whole ‘Who’s the most chaotic first year’ thing, and it’s spread to the whole school.”
“Oh that’s what this is about?” Izuku lightly bumped his shoulder against Yaya. “And tighten up, you make it sound like some sort of pandemic is happening. Oh I know, I’ll just vote Meimei cuz she’s a batshit badass.”
“Yeah well, you’re not exactly wrong. I’ll have to vote for you though.” At that, the greenette turned to gape at the taller.
“Me?! What did I do that would make you think I cause chaos?!” Yaya just gave him an unimpressed stare.
“We once left the dorms with the intention of getting ramen and you managed to discover a whole band of money launderers and got them to flee from you in terror to the nearest police station, with nothing but wasabi, cinnamon and a stick of soap.”
“I mean, they were forging money like five yards away it wasn’t really hard to you know, utilise my ears?”
“They tried to sue you for lasting mental trauma.”
“Yeah well, it’s not my fault that the human body can’t handle consuming large amounts of powder cinnamon. Or that you can die from soap ingestion, like what the hell? Or, OR apparently it counts as assault when I stuff villain’s noses with wasabi like, oi? He was tryna knife me what was I supposed to do? Let him stab me like an idiot?”
“I’m just saying that statistically, a ridiculous disaster of some sort will befall you within..” Yaya checked his watch. “The next hour. Something will happen in the next hour.”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“You say that now, but I’m telling you. The statistics don’t lie, Izuku.”
As they were approaching the auditorium, Izuku realised just how many people were actually taking part in the election. It had to be almost all of the student body, there were so, so many people were going quiet and turning to stare at Izuku. Not entirely sure what to do, he just stared back.
“Uhm. Hello?” It was as if some sort of spell broke, and suddenly there was noise again.
“Hey Greeny, I voted for ya!”
“You’re causing quite the ruckus for being a first year!”
“I can’t remember, where we ever that bad!”
“HA! This only proves that class 1-B is far superior, all you do is make trouble and seek attention-“
“Sorry about him! He’s just a little misguided, I promise!” Yeah, that was definitely Kendo who once again has to restrain a feral Monoma. Poor girl.
After hurrying down and voting in on of the designated cabins, Izuku met back up with Yaya. They were supposed to assemble in the courtyard for the results, since the auditorium couldn’t fit all of the students.
Quickly spotting his friends’ at the front of the large crowd, Izuku started pushing through the people (and occasionally ramming some students in the ribs with his elbows but that was neither here or there).
“Toshi! Meimei!” Both, who had been engrossed in some sort of debate (knowing the, probably something about staying awake without losing brain capacity) snapped their heads up when he called them.
“Huh, what am I Zuku, hot air?”
“Yes. Hot and cold air.”
At the edge of the mob, the greenette spotted Ocha lifting into the air and it looked as if she was searching for them. So being the reasonable person he was, he climbed Yaya like a fucking tree and balanced himself on his friend’s shoulders like a pro.
“Ocha! Tsu! We’re over here!” He could make out several people who were recognising him, and wasn’t certain wether or not he should be offended by the murmurs of “Yup, that’s our first years for you.”, “Isn’t he the dude from the memes?” and ”My Lord is summoning turmoil, as he should.”. The last one was probably from Yaomomo or Tokoyami but he couldn’t be sure since the sea of voices made it hard to discern them from one another.
Just as the two last members of the Dekusquad arrived next to them, Principal Nedzu climbed onto the stage. The mouse (rat, bear, dog thingy- doesn’t even matter) tapped the microphone twice causing screeching feedback to echo around the courtyard and cleared his throat.
“We are here today for the coronation of our very first Chaos King and Queen. Yes, I’m making this an annual thing. Suffer.” Izuku sweatdropped. He felt as if though the only people suffering were the rat’s own employees. But maybe that was the point? Pressing a few buttons on his tablet, the principal projected its display onto the huge screen on stage.
“Now, the indisputable winner who has a lead of 203 votes, Midoriya Izuku of class 1-A! Would you be so kind as to come up here!” He couldn’t say that he expected this, but Izuku honestly also couldn’t say that he didn’t expect this either, so he just shrugged his shoulders and marched up to the principal. All of UA was going wild, cheering and whistling. In a moment of bravado, the boy leaned over to the microphone.
“Haa, I honestly didn’t think I was that bad but I guess I was wrong.” What he got were various forms of incredulous stares. Maybe he really was that bad? Nedzu fixed him with a stare that made him back away from the mic.
“Tied for the title of the Chaos Queen! Hado Nejire of class 3-A, along with Hatsume Mei of class 1-H! Come up, come up!” Hado used her quirk to gracefully float onto the platform. Looking at Mei, it appeared she was a bit stuck in the crowd.
“Mei jump! I’ll catch you!” Admittedly, it wasn’t the best idea to say that to his friend who already has no disregard for safety, and he really shouldn’t encourage her reckless behaviour but he was the most reckless one of them all and not about to be a hypocrite so theres that. Izuku watched as Ocha high-fives Mei, making her float above the ground. Mei was then thrown into Izuku’s arms without any second thoughts, so he caught her just as naturally and set her down on the floor.
“Since we now have the winners of the election up here, let me give you your prices!” What what? He hadn’t been aware of this.
The principal rummaged around inside the podium for a second before producing three little, neatly wrapped boxes. Izuku took his box with visible apprehension, but can you blame him? Anything that looked like a gift had the potential to (literally) blow up in his face, courtesy of receiving presents from Meimei.
So carefully and with a healthy amount of paranoia, Izuku opened the boy to reveal- a button? Oh wait no way. Ok this was actually kind of funny.
“As you’re our Chaos King and Queens, we’ve decided to give you these buttons instead of crowns. If you’re ever in trouble, press that big red button right there. They’re programmed to alarm your homeroom teacher if pressed once, and they’ll alarm the whole staff if you press them rapidly four times in a row! Now, would you like to step up to give a quick speech?”
Just as Mei was about to speak, there was a loud crash, followed by students screaming. In a brief moment of indecision where Izuku’s body couldn’t decide between sighing and quitting life or facing whatever was happening, he froze up. Only to hear a painfully familiar voice.
“IZUKUUUUUUUUUN!” He turned around and- WHAT THE FUCK. There was a giant hole in the wall. A hole that was undoubtedly there because of the giant ass truck that was now inside the walls and on the school grounds. He could hear the principal’s “Well this certainly wasn’t within my calculations.” But he honestly didn’t give a crap right now.
Half falling out of the passenger seat of the truck in her attempt to get to Izuku was Himiko.
“AHHHHHHH IT’S THE LEAGUE WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!” They very much were not under attack.
Yes, Togo Himiko the wanted villainess was running at him in a freaking swimsuit, her arms full of tropical fish and a lobster.
“Himiko! What are you doing here?” Groaning, Izuku looked towards the vehicle and sure enough, he caught sight of an equally familiar mess of black spikes. “And why is Touya dressed as a plumber?”
“We rescued a dolphin!” She proudly shoved her collection of dying fish into his face with a bright grin that showed off her sharp canines. “And these fishes, aren’t they cute?”
“We stole a dolphin and those fish are as good as dead.” That last part was directed at Himiko, who suddenly looked very worried about her fishies.
“AHHHHH IT’S DABI FROM THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” Aaand the girl who’d just screamed her head of promptly fainted. Touya an Izuku just stared at her crumpled form for a second, nonplussed.
“Touya. I can’t believe you’ve done this.” Next to the stage, the green haired boy could make out Sho was was doing his best to make an aquarium to buy the fish some time.
“She’s been whining about animal cruelty for days now, and I just wanted her to shut up. So, we stole a dolphin.” On cue, Cementoss opened up the roof of the ruck to reveal a pitch black fin.
“Touya. Touya what kind of dolphin did you steal.”
“Dunno. The black and white type cuz Himiko thought he looked the saddest.”
“Touya. Touya you guys just stole a Killer whale. Why would you do this? Why would you bring him here?”
“Hey Kid, you know these Spangled drongos?” Izuku stilled and stared blankly ahead for a bit, before finally tilting his head to look at Keigo.
“That’s a bird species. Also Keichan, why are you here?”
“I know it is. Also, these two broke into an aquarium and stole an Orca what do you expect?”
“I don’t expect anything anymore. Because its pointless. Lol this is my life now.”
“Kid, did you just say ‘lol’? Are you okay?” He looked Keigo straight in the eyes.
“No. I’m officially the King of Chaos and this is my crown.” Still maintaining eye contact, Izuku placed the button on his head. “Keichan, hold me.” Bemused, his friend did as he was told and wrapped his arms (and wings) around Izuku.
Nedzu seemed very interested in Himiko and Touya’s reasoning for rescuing (read:stealing) the whale. Apparently he wanted to grant the two villains refuge whenever they needed it, and in exchange the school would get to keep the whale. Needless to say, they now had a huge aquarium and a whale. In the midst of chaos, the greenette could hear the voice of his friend.
“I told you Izuku, the statistics never lie!”
“OH, CAN IT YAYA!”
And that folks, is how Midoriya Izuku was elected as a king for being a reckless idiot.
Call The Royal Court+Aizawa Friday 9:12PM
TemperaturePlay: There was an accident.
RainingMen: Oh no, are you okay?
TemperaturePlay: I’m just fine. Endeavour fell down six flights of stairs.
SinnamonRoll: Oh so right now you need an excuse to not help him?
SinnamonRoll: Right, got it, got it.
GottaGoFast: This call’s timing is actually quite convenient for I am in a similar situation as Shouto.
SinnamonRoll: Yeah, same. So Yaya and I are just here being chewed out by this random ass wannabe hero, when he suddenly chokes on his lollipop. Like psh I ain’t gonna help him.
GottaGoFast: He was indeed quite annoying.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: On the note of annoying, how on earth did that flaming bag of trash manage to fall down six flights of stairs?
Froggers: Somehow I doubts that it was an accident, kero.
MotherOf392: Nope, total accident! See, our gracious number one hero agreed to test my baby for me-
SinnamonRoll: Already explains everything.
MotherOf392: I call it the pull and push baby! It can pull and push people!
Aizawa: You’re telling me you pushed the number one hero down the stairs, pulled him up the stairs and then pushed him down again?
TemperaturePlay: He’s my father so I feel like I have the right.
Froggers: I don’t think that’s quite how it works, kero.
RainingMen: Nono, it totally is!
TemperaturePlay: According to Endeavour’s reasoning I can do whatever I want with him. After all, he always said ‘Shouto, you’re my son so I can treat you as I see fit!’
Aizawa: I will not hide any bodies for you.
GottaGoFast: We are not going to commit murder!
Sleep?Who’sShe?: Says the guy who attempted to commit murder.
Aizawa: I will, however, inform you that we now have two Orcas on school grounds, as well as a villain with a vendetta against Endeavour and flames hot enough to make bodies disappear.
SinnamonRoll: Aw, Aizawa you do love us!
Aizawa: Don’t flatter yourself problem child.
Sleep?Who’sShe?: He totally loves us.