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Sir, That's My Emotional Support Sugar Daddy

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Finally having gotten his break, Hidan was shovelling his lunch into his mouth when he got a text on his personal phone. It was from Deidara.

‘Bitch. Watch this. What’d I always say about him?’’ 

It was followed by a tiktok. Hidan, confused, watched as someone was running up to people getting out of expensive cars asking what they do for a living. Just as he was about to put his phone down so he could finish his lunch before he was called back to work he saw Kakuzu getting out of his convertible with the top down. Hidan appreciated how good he looked in it, it was absolutely perfect for him. 

‘Excuse me! What do you do for a living?’

Kakuzu on screen grinned like an idiot, ‘What do I do for a living? My husband. He’s a doctor. I’m married!’

Hidan felt his face turn a deep shade of red as he couldn’t help but laugh. Oh, Kakuzu certainly did do him for a living! He loved his sugar baby husband, and sent a text back.

‘Yeah, he’s totally my sugar baby, what of it? You in the market for a sugar daddy? Well tough shit! This one’s taken, bitch!’

‘I don’t want your dank ass! I sent it to everyone. Everyone!’

‘Like I care. Quit trying to say he’s only with me for the money. It seriously pisses me off. I’ll fuck your shit up!’

Deidara was typing and Hidan shoved another mouthful of noodles into his mouth just as a nurse flung open the door to the break room, and gave him a look as half the noodles hung out of his mouth while he attempted to slurp them up and nearly choked himself. 

Finally she shook her head and said, “Doctor, you’re needed for an emergency surgery! Swallow now and taste it later, you need to come with me!” And then she was gone. 

“Aw, dammit…” Hidan closed the lid on his lunch and threw it back in the fridge and ran after the nurse. 


Finally home, three and a half hours later than he would have been without that emergency patient, Hidan sank to his ears in a hot bubble bath, opposite Kakuzu.

“Long day?” Kakuzu asked as he leaned back in the tub and reached for one of Hidan’s legs, fingers wrapping around his ankle and lifting it to rest on his shoulder. 

Hidan sighed, “Yeah, really fucking long. There was a car accident, the patient needed surgery so I had to stay. Dude almost died twice… not because of me.” 

Kakuzu started working his fingers into the muscle of Hidan’s calf, making him close his eyes and moan softly.

“Funny thing is, I was eating lunch before that and Deidara sent me one of those tiktoks.”

Kakuzu didn’t react, but kept up his massage, waiting for Hidan to elaborate. He seemed too relaxed to continue talking, and Kakuzu set his leg down once he was finished and got started on the other leg. Hidan’s breathing evened out and Kakuzu was sure he heard him snore a little. 

After a few minutes, Hidan groaned and opened his eyes, “Damn that feels so good… I think I fell asleep for a few minutes. Man, did I get lucky with you or what?”

“Of course you got lucky.”

“And you’re a lucky bastard, too.” Hidan smiled, “Hey so anyways, want to know what that tiktok was?”

“Not really but you can tell me.”

“Fuck you,” there was no bite in it and Hidan went on, “It was you! You’re on tiktok!”

“No I’m not.”

“You fucking are! Some guy come up to you recently in a parking lot asking what you do for a living?”

Kakuzu’s fingers paused a moment before continuing their ministrations as he gave a single nod. 

“Yeah, and you told him you do your husband for a living?!” Hidan was howling with laughter and Kakuzu released his leg, letting it fall back into the bath with a splash.

“That’s on tiktok?!”

“It is!!” Hidan couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard and Kakuzu sat up, moving forward until his face was inches from his.

“It’s true though, isn’t it? I fuck you and you love it.” His voice was so low, it sent a shiver through Hidan despite the hot water they were in. Without hesitation, Hidan leaned forward and kissed his husband.

“You can do me anytime and I’ll give you anything you could ever fucking want.”

“I don’t want much, you’ve given me a lot already,” Kakuzu said as he drew Hidan into his lap, “just want you.”

Hidan made a quiet noise as he wrapped his legs around Kakuzu’s waist and stifled a yawn, “How about you take me to bed? I’ve had a longass day. This morning, one of my patients woke up right before the surgeon made the incision. That fucker wasn’t happy with me, said I did it on purpose. I did not! Have you heard about those redheads?! I gave him extra!”

Kakuzu kissed his lips, “You poor thing, having to deal with gingers. Let me carry you to bed.”

“You say that like it’s a long ways, the bed is right fucking there, but hey, carry me anyways.” 

Kakuzu had thought having a bathtub in the bedroom right across from the bed and with a fireplace beside it was a bit much, but he had to admit, he loved it. They had spent many pleasant nights, and days, in that tub. The bedroom was their favorite room in the entire house.  

While he had hoped that night was going to be one of them, one look at Hidan told him he was going to be sound asleep before they got started on anything.


As they laid in bed, Hidan tucked up against Kakuzu’s side and on the verge of falling asleep, Kakuzu said, “You know, I did marry you for more than your money, right?”

“Huh?” Hidan’s eyes opened and he looked up, “We’ve been through this, I’m not rehashing that argument.” 

“I’m not trying to rehash anything. I just want you to know, despite what it might have sounded like in that tiktok. I… I do love you.”

Hidan just wanted to sleep but he could tell Kakuzu needed some reassurance and he was more than happy to provide, so he propped himself up on his elbow, “I know. There was a time you were only with me for my damn money. But that’s changed and I know that you’re completely and utterly devoted to me, that you fell in love with your emotional support sugar daddy,” he said it so seriously but seconds later was biting his lip to keep from laughing.

“Oh fuck you, Hidan!” Kakuzu shoved him onto his back and pinned him there.

“Hey! Nothing wrong with falling for your sugar daddy, I’m the best one there is! Totally hot, and my bank account is as big as my dick, it’s fucking huge! And you know... I love you back.” 

They stayed like that for several moments.

“Gimme some sugar,” Hidan drawled and leaned up to catch Kakuzu’s lips in a kiss only to yawn just before he was about to kiss him.

Kakuzu eased off him, “You’re too tired, I better let you sleep. Wouldn’t want you to dose your patients wrong in the morning and they wake up in the middle of a surgery. Again. Or you kill one.”

“My patients will be fine. I’ve always got some energy left for you, Sugar.” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Fine. How about… since I am really tired, that instead of fucking me tonight, you make love to me?”

A rare request, and one Kakuzu was only too happy to fulfill, “It would be my pleasure.” 

Hidan yawned again as he fought to keep his eyes open while Kakuzu peppered kisses down the side of his neck.

“On second thought, I think you’d be better off with just sleeping,”  Kakuzu laid down alongside Hidan and wrapped an arm around him as he grumbled, “go to sleep, you’re so unattractive with those huge bags under your eyes.” 

“Hey! Those bags are proof I work hard so you can have a good life!”

Kakuzu went to kiss him but Hidan was already snoring and instead of his lips, Kakuzu kissed his cheek and pulled him closer but not before giving him a gentle shake to stop his snoring.