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I can't deal with emotions so I text instead

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1:18pm 14th Oct


Footballstar: hey duke whatt the fuck


Grinchbinch: what???


Footballstar: no normal fucking person just puts a whole chocolate egg in their mouth


Grinchbinch: fuck you


Grinchbinch: they are hard to just bite



8:07am 15th Oct


Notasferalchild: it is eight in the fucking morning and i have already recieveed several fucking texts off of a dead group chat


Notasferalchild: the first one from two in the morning and it says “october is the month of the gays”


Feralchild: ah yes gay spooky month


Ihavethebraincell: hoe i know how lonely you are what other group chats are you in


Notasferalchild: a surprising amount


Notasferalchild: they include


Notasferalchild: cumbrian sluts


Notasferalchild: spekal breeds


Notasferalchild: group therapy


Notasferalchild: and eye daddy my beloved


Feralchild: all of these are beautiful


Notasferalchild: one of these is a family group chat :)


Feralchild: i dont like that


Notasferalchild: :)


Martha<3: JD can go from like normal depressed emo to I am a little shit look at me go in a surprising amount of time


Ihavethebraincell: he just has a lot of spite in him


Notasferalchild: i do :)


Feralchild: oki but are just going to ignore that one of those is a family group chat


Ihavethebraincell: yeah what is that about


Ihavethebraincell: like my families gc is just chris stop being overprotective


Feralchild: how dare your family speak shit of your grandad


Feralchild: your grandad is the nicest fucker i have ever met


Martha<3: My families is still Quiz Time from like 2 years ago


Lowercase Gang

5:49pm 16th Oct


Grinchbinch: why the fuck is our name not in full lowercase?????


Footballstar: idk you made the group


Grinchbinch: i thought you did


Footballstar: fucken look back to when it was made


Grinchbinch: okay then


Grinchbinch: oh no


Grinchbinch: what have i done


Grinchbinch changed the groupchats name to lowercase gang


Grinchbinch: IT HAS BEEN FIXED




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12:53pm 17th Oct


Goldenretriever: I hope the royal families necromancer is having a good day today


Cornnuts: He must have enough for retirement by now hes been working on old phil for the past 2 decades


Goldenretriever: Ikr


Goldenretriever: And hell have that job for a lot longer as well as long as we keep any sour patch kids away from him


Cornnuts: Gotta keep the 8th grade vsco girls out of london too


Goldenretriever: Yep


Cornnuts: Well have to be sorry for the queen when he finally goes shell lose her husband and her cousin on the same day


Goldenretriever: So sad


Cornnuts: So sad



5:29pm 18th Oct


Feralchild: who wants to make a long furby with me


Martha<3: Hey Betty what the fuck



The image is of a black and yellow plaid long furby on an outside chair


Feralchild: him


Ihavethebraincell: as martha said what the fuck


Notasferalchild: we should make one


Feralchild: yesssss jd gets it


Ihavethebraincell: guys please no


Itscominghome to Footballstar

7:36am 19th Oct


Itscominghome: Hey


Footballstar: what do you want


Itscominghome: Bit unwelcome arent you gays always going on about how everyones equal and being mean is bad


Footballstar: some do i dont care about taht shit though


Footballstar: anyway why are you texting me


Footballstar: seeing as the last time you did that you called me a traitor to the football team and the f slur


Itscominghome: You deserved it though


Itscominghome: Just quit the team straight up like that


Footballstar: seeing as you outed me to them and i know their homophobic id like to think it was self preservation


Footballstar: but that didnt matter as you graffitied my locker with slurs for the school to see


Footballstar: the only reason im not getting more shit is cos the heathers and veronica arent exactly secretive about what they are to eachother


Itscominghome: Fuck off


Itscominghome: I just texted to say I know your dad will probably pull you out cos you got suspended again


Footballstar: and?


Itcominghome: Jesus christ on crystal meth im getting to it you fag


Footballstar: ooh back on the slurs i see


Itscominghome: I just came to say that you were a good player and that its a shame you probably wont get your scholarship


Footballstar: theres gonna be another thing isnt there


Footballstar: you were never this like sentimental to me even when we were friends


Itscominghome: But your still a mega bitch traitor who I think should burn in hell


Footballstar: well ill see you there :)


lowercase gang

4:26pm 20th Oct


Footballstar: right fuckers guess whose no longer a student at wester fucking berg high


Grinchbinch: lucky slag


Footballstar: :)


Footballstar: i know


Ihavethebraincell: you dont have to deal with phlegm anymore you bastard




Grinchbinch: FUCK YOU



7:03pm 21st Oct


Cornnuts: Why have i decided to start a show on netflix 4 days before it goes off


Grinchbinch: because your stupid


Grinchbinch: a big dumb dumb


Cornnuts: Well im sorry but i want the gay


Grinchbinch: hoe whats the show


Cornnuts: Go find it




Cornnuts: Im not telling you bestie <3



11:26pm 22nd


Martha<3: Hey JD when is your birthday


Notasferalchild: 31st this month


Notasferalchild: why???


Ihavethebraincell: you are so lucky that what i was planning to get you has a less than 8 day delivery




Notasferalchild: im sorry


Notasferalchild: i shouldve told yall but it just slipped my mind im sorry


Martha<3: No no no it’s okay


Martha<3: Just maybe be prepared to have some late presents


Martha<3: Especially from Betty

Feralchild: OI